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Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am

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Speaker 1: welcome to the show. It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. It's Monday,

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Speaker 1: Tuesday's it is Tuesday. Um, we're recording this Tuesday. I

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Speaker 1: just have my days mixed up. I am here in

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Speaker 1: Los Angeles, California, at my um really pretty nice hotel,

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Speaker 1: UM corner corner. Sweet. I'm being put up by the

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Speaker 1: iHeartRadio Awards that I got to do last night, and

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Speaker 1: they got me a nice hotel and it was just

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Speaker 1: just such a joy to do. And we'll get into

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Speaker 1: that in just a second. I want to just go

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Speaker 1: around and then produce everyone who's here. Noah is in Arizona.

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Speaker 1: You guys know that it's also a city there. And

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Speaker 1: um Anya is in Coopertino. Yes, Bay Area, Silicon Valley.

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Speaker 1: Hell yeah baby, you are, Um, you're aware. Like the

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Speaker 1: the interesting thing about where you are I always find

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Speaker 1: is that you are on the will you describe it

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Speaker 1: on you If you look at your iPhone, the logo

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Speaker 1: of the map is exactly where I am. Yes, that's awesome.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that cool because that's where Apple is? Yes? Oh wow,

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Speaker 1: she's exactly on that Like, wait, is it almost exactly that.

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Speaker 1: That's a little exit though, right, that's like a big

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Speaker 1: exit ramp on the icon. I think that the icon

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Speaker 1: used to have like two eighty on it. Maybe it'd

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Speaker 1: be weird for your parents image. It's also a cool

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Speaker 1: name for a city, Coopertino. It's such a cute name.

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Speaker 1: I want to write that down if I had. Yeah. Um,

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Speaker 1: the guy who taught us about Zizzis and taught us

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Speaker 1: about Noah Arizona and just likes the name Coupertino. I'm

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Speaker 1: starting to notice them is my good friend and past

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Speaker 1: podcast co host of the Not Safe podcast. If you

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Speaker 1: want to go back and listen to those, they are

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Speaker 1: still available. Um it's Brian Frangie. Everyone isn't that horrifying?

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Speaker 1: Are still available? Yeah, I'm dude, we're just taking the

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Speaker 1: ship down by now. The podcast when Luigi came, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, yes, oh thanks for bringing that up. I

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Speaker 1: blocked that out of my memory. Luigi during one it

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Speaker 1: was me and dancing Germaine in you. I used to

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Speaker 1: do it as a bit in my act because we

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Speaker 1: were It was me. It was at our office at

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Speaker 1: Not Safe. It was a show I had on Comedy Central.

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Speaker 1: Brian was the worked in our digital department. Dan was

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Speaker 1: one of our writers Dancing Germaine, and we had a

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Speaker 1: podcast that Comedy Central gave us to like promote the

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Speaker 1: show on a different platform, you know. So we would

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Speaker 1: just go into Brian's office and do this podcast. It

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Speaker 1: was like my favorite part of the day. And one

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Speaker 1: time Luigi Luigi was always in the office and he

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Speaker 1: was on my lap. I had just gotten him, like

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Speaker 1: a couple months before, and he had a he has

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Speaker 1: a big penis sheath especially, Yeah, he has a bit.

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Speaker 1: He has big penis and the sheath like the slit

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Speaker 1: that it's supposed to go in the lipstick goes in,

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Speaker 1: it would be too big, and so the penis would

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Speaker 1: hang out a lot. Yes, it doesn't anymore, but for

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Speaker 1: some reason, he was very horny back then and he

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Speaker 1: it was always out. So one time during the show,

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Speaker 1: Dan was making a big deal or you were making

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Speaker 1: a big deal of like, oh God, his lip sticks out,

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Speaker 1: and I was just like, chill out. So to get

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Speaker 1: it back in, I wanted to scare it back in.

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Speaker 1: Oh I didn't know that. I thought. No. I took

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Speaker 1: his paw to like because I didn't want to like

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Speaker 1: touch around that area. But I thought if you poked

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Speaker 1: around the area, it would get scared and go back in. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: So I took his paw and like tapped around his

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Speaker 1: penis and stuff came out. Oh my god, I jerked

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Speaker 1: my own dog off with his own It was all

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Speaker 1: over my tits. That um yeah, Luigi came um. Which

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Speaker 1: people have to do to um breed dogs and stuff

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Speaker 1: they got or the breed horses. I thought you were

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Speaker 1: talking about sticking the finger in the butt. Oh, that's

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Speaker 1: to get a dog off you if it's attacking you. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's what I was talking about. That's mean that's to

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Speaker 1: express its glands. Oh yeah yeah, yeah, you gotta and you.

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Speaker 1: And now there's they're saying that that's not good anymore

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Speaker 1: to do. You know, they must change everything. Every couple

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Speaker 1: of years, you spend more. Now you're me to your dog. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: now eighteen we could just stick our finger of our

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Speaker 1: dogs ass and that's when things were great. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: um wait, No, the anal gland thing is a real

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Speaker 1: thing on small dogs. They get clogged up. Does your

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Speaker 1: dog have anal gland issues? No, we never expressed its glands,

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Speaker 1: but I mean she shakes a lot. Well, that's if

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Speaker 1: they poop, if they have too um, if they have

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Speaker 1: their poops are too liquidy. Because poops go, poops get

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Speaker 1: their glands going. So when poop comes out and it's hard,

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Speaker 1: it expresses it for them. So if your dog has

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Speaker 1: too much running poop, it's glands get like filled up,

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Speaker 1: and that's when you have to go express them. Oh god,

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Speaker 1: one time my dog is expressed all over, because sometimes

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Speaker 1: they do it out of fear and they shoot it

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Speaker 1: out like a skunk. Oh all over. John Early, Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I had a show. I had brought Luigi

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Speaker 1: to a show and John saw me and was like hi,

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Speaker 1: and he was like, look at the puppy, and Luigi

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Speaker 1: just was freaked out and expressed all and we didn't

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Speaker 1: know what happened. At first, you just kind of go

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Speaker 1: it's clear, like it's invisible, but then generally is like oh,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god, why are you? Like

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Speaker 1: we were so confused, what was that? Why are you wet?

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Speaker 1: The smell isn't thet it's like a like a rotten

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Speaker 1: fish worst smell. John Early is in the bathroom. We

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Speaker 1: kind of don't know what happened, but I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: starting to smell something, but it's got all over John,

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Speaker 1: so it's barely like I can not even smell it

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Speaker 1: in the room. But I'm like, oh my god, I

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Speaker 1: think Luigi. And then I go John like through the

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Speaker 1: door and he's like, yes, he is freaking out because

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Speaker 1: he has to perform. It was at Um Hot Soup

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Speaker 1: that show, a Kurt Brownowler's show, and it was upstairs

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Speaker 1: in this like green room area, and he's in the

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Speaker 1: bathroom ruined a sweater like it was on a sweater

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Speaker 1: and he got all this fishy. So, I mean, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure he still talks. Doesn't come off, No, it does not.

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Speaker 1: It's that sweater was done. And I told him. I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'll pay you for it, and he was

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Speaker 1: very sweet. I think I offered. I can't imagine I didn't,

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Speaker 1: but I don't think he let me or I just

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Speaker 1: didn't offer. He's a funny guy to I'm sure his

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Speaker 1: response would have been funny if you didn't it was

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Speaker 1: too traumatized. It would be funny. Oh Um, I texted

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Speaker 1: you saying I was gonna be ten minutes late, and

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Speaker 1: then you responded, all good, but you've left off the

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Speaker 1: d so it said, I'll goo. I know I didn't

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Speaker 1: feel like sending the other D that made me laugh.

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Speaker 1: I'll go, man, we have new words for coming express

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Speaker 1: goo y. Yeah, I'm expressed all over my face. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, that's so funny to say that your boyfriend expressed.

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Speaker 1: Just express yourself. Imagine if com smelled as bad as

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Speaker 1: it dogs, as bad as it looks. I think, God,

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Speaker 1: some time smell what some times? Um? I mean, I

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Speaker 1: hope this happens to other people. But if a guy

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Speaker 1: like comes in you and you leave it there for

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Speaker 1: a little bit, it does start to smell like fish,

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Speaker 1: and it's because that's that's yeah. Sorry, Uh, no one

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Speaker 1: can relate. That's just your pussy nor Yeah, you read

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Speaker 1: it out? How do you get it out? What do

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Speaker 1: you mean? I've always been curious about that. I think

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Speaker 1: it rips out when you pee. Okay, right, don't you

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Speaker 1: think we can come out and it's exactly the other

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Speaker 1: way that'll stay in. Yeah, I'm sorry everyone, but it's

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Speaker 1: just true. After sex, men and women. Oh you must

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Speaker 1: p People think it's just women, but men need to

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Speaker 1: pee two sure, P two. Um, it's a P two movement. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's um, it's well, men do not get uts as

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Speaker 1: much as No. No, it's more imperative for women to do.

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Speaker 1: So that's one. It's like you have to pee like

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Speaker 1: every single time or else will instantly get a uti.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy, it's crazy. It's a horrible thing happened playing

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Speaker 1: with fire in your pants, because it's it really is.

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Speaker 1: It's no one. No one tells women that that should

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Speaker 1: be a part of sex education. No one tells women

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Speaker 1: anything that's a good feel like sex said is parallel parking.

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Speaker 1: Watch this video of a baby being born. And that's

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Speaker 1: all you need to know. And no, and so few

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Speaker 1: people need to First of all, you don't need to

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Speaker 1: know that you're going to have doctors who can cover that. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you know. So you get mixed messages constantly. Can I

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Speaker 1: say of a near horror story that I've had? Okay, so,

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Speaker 1: any she is now in the in the in the

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Speaker 1: month before where she has like fake ones because they're

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Speaker 1: they're making, they're molding the ones that are going to

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Speaker 1: be put in April fifth, right when you have any years.

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Speaker 1: You can't bite into an apple anymore. I just can't

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Speaker 1: use your teeth. You can't use your teeth at all anymore.

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Speaker 1: And they hurt constantly. It's great, and you really regrets

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Speaker 1: getting veneers. But she hasn't gotten the final one jet,

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Speaker 1: and I think she's going to change your tune when

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Speaker 1: she gets those. But George Washington like, you're borous teeth

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Speaker 1: that I figured out how to get around that because

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Speaker 1: they have been looking like wooden teeth, and every night

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Speaker 1: I just look in the mirror and I'm like, you

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Speaker 1: have fucking wooden teeth, dude, what is happening? Because they

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Speaker 1: create these ridges in them to make them look natural,

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Speaker 1: but then you drink a cup of tea and it

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Speaker 1: looks like wood. But the other day I was like,

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Speaker 1: fuck it, I'm using baking soda directly on these teeth

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Speaker 1: because they're not my teeth. I can't ruin them. And

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Speaker 1: it worked immediately and they were like bright white, like

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Speaker 1: not wooden anymore. Oh good. But but the dentist told

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Speaker 1: me a month ago, do not be afraid to brush

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Speaker 1: these things. You got to brush your gums. Do not

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Speaker 1: be timid at all. Brush brush brush because people are

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Speaker 1: always timid, and then it causes bleeding if you're too

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Speaker 1: timid around your gums. And if we install the permanent

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Speaker 1: one while your gums are bleeding, they will turn them pink.

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Speaker 1: So definitely brush your gums vigorously. I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I've been brushing my teeth like four times a day

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Speaker 1: after I eat, and I'm in constant pain. And finally,

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Speaker 1: yesterday it just starts gushing blood and like doesn't stop,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm done with this shit. So I

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Speaker 1: call my dentists. She finally calls me back. Today. We're

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Speaker 1: talking and I'm like, I've been in constant pain. I'm

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Speaker 1: doing everything you said. I'm even like rinsing with salt water.

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Speaker 1: I'm flossing gently. I'm like doing all the right stuff.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, well, you know, I think you're just

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Speaker 1: missing a spot and you just really need to brush

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Speaker 1: very gently. You need to brush. Are you brushing gently?

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Speaker 1: I'm like you told me to brush favorously. She's like, well,

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Speaker 1: vigorously and gently. I'm just like I just started crying, Like,

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Speaker 1: just say I fucked up. Sorry, I'm sorry, you're in pain.

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Speaker 1: We'll take a look at it. Don't make it like,

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Speaker 1: well you probably brought this on yourself, bitch. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: so what so did she so? She so she definitely

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Speaker 1: realized she had said something wrong, and then she tried

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Speaker 1: to course correct. I said, well, I've been in constant

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Speaker 1: pain for a month and I'm doing everything you said,

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Speaker 1: but I have been in almost constant pain for four

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Speaker 1: weeks and it's just silence. And then she goes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I hear you. Okay, Why can't dentists admit that they

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Speaker 1: were wrong? That happened to me too, right, a dentist

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Speaker 1: who refused to admit that she did something wrong. She

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Speaker 1: kept trying to come up with different reasons why it

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Speaker 1: was my fault. And at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I did everything you said, and you've

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Speaker 1: ruined my life. What was going on in your own life?

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Speaker 1: I've had two teeth removed because of this. Really then

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Speaker 1: they're gone right now? Oh my god, I'm waiting for

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Speaker 1: the end to get an implant? Costs like ten thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars a six thousand plant? What is going on? Why

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Speaker 1: are teeth so expensive? And that is what you need

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Speaker 1: to invest in the teeth market? Yes, yes, forget about

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Speaker 1: a quick comedy. Yes, because that's one thing we have

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Speaker 1: not math stirred clearly because you got these veneers and

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Speaker 1: you're like, what what do you wish people would have

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Speaker 1: told you about veneers before. You can't bite into anything.

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Speaker 1: You can't they bleed all the time. You don't want

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Speaker 1: to get rid of your reality. I mean, talk to

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Speaker 1: me in a month when I have the permanent ones,

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Speaker 1: and maybe I'll be like, it was so weird that

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Speaker 1: I love Anyone complain about veneers before is the thing?

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Speaker 1: You know why? Because no one admits they have them, right,

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Speaker 1: and this is a this is the thing. It's their

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Speaker 1: shame about having cosmetic procedures to improve your looks. People

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Speaker 1: have shame about it. They act like they don't have it,

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Speaker 1: They don't talk about it. So then everyone's quietly doing

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Speaker 1: this and only being advised by their doctor who's making

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Speaker 1: money off of them. And so the only if the

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Speaker 1: only advice and encouragement you're getting to do it is

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Speaker 1: from a doctor who is incentivized to encourage you to

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Speaker 1: do it. What do you you know you gotta we

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Speaker 1: gotta destigmatize these things. If you get veneers, it's okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: admit you. He was like people over the weekend, He's like,

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Speaker 1: next time, don't do this. You got you can't make

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Speaker 1: decisions on your own. You got to tell your friends

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Speaker 1: before you do this. Us. We tell each other everything

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Speaker 1: on the girls Chat, and I was like, why didn't

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Speaker 1: you disclose this because one of the girls on the

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Speaker 1: girls Chat has had veneers and shared not doing this

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Speaker 1: even though I don't think it's going to be a

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Speaker 1: mistake and I think you're gonna love them. But I

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Speaker 1: think you were like you didn't want to be talked

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Speaker 1: out of it, you said, I think I just yeah,

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Speaker 1: It's like I go into a weird mode sometimes where

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Speaker 1: I'm just like it's like on my to do list,

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Speaker 1: like buy salad, dressing, go to the post office, get veneers.

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Speaker 1: I'll just handle it. It'll just be a thing I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've done this before with a big decision

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Speaker 1: in my life, and I regretted that one too, But

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Speaker 1: like it's like I don't want to be found out.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be talked out of it because

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Speaker 1: I'm scared like Matt or someone's gonna be like you're

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Speaker 1: spending how much? And also I'm like this is gonna

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Speaker 1: be great. My dentist said it, I know someone who

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Speaker 1: has It's so good. That's why people do it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: they look better than your regular teeth, without question. Do

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Speaker 1: they function as well not even the apocalypse happens in

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Speaker 1: your teeth. You have nothing done going for you. You

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00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,400
Speaker 1: that should be if you think that, if you are

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Speaker 1: a prepper, start training to install the ears because you

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Speaker 1: have a trade. Because I think about this all the time,

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Speaker 1: and then apocalypse is that I would be dead within

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Speaker 1: three weeks. No matter how good I am at killing you,

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Speaker 1: you're you would be a good prepper. What okay? Because

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Speaker 1: I can't see I have contact lescar Lasic. Dude, I

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Speaker 1: can't scared of No, No, dude, I did las It's scary.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do it to you right now. It's certified.

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Speaker 1: Lasic is okay everyone that's scared of it. I'm that

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Speaker 1: we do add for them on the show because they

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Speaker 1: I got Lasic done. I'm not kidding you. If it's

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Speaker 1: so quick, it is quicker than getting your ear pierced

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Speaker 1: at Claire's. It is so easy. It's not a big

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Speaker 1: de little they make do you feel like you know

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Speaker 1: they want you're spending a lot of money, so they

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Speaker 1: give you the experience of like this is a procedure,

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Speaker 1: but they could literally do this at a like. I

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00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,120
Speaker 1: even said it to the practitioner. I go you guys

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00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,720
Speaker 1: could do this at a mall Kiosk, and she goes,

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00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,960
Speaker 1: we could. I mean, we're not going to because but yes,

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Speaker 1: it's they do millions of procedures. You are hard. It's

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Speaker 1: hard to find anyone that has a bad experience with it.

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Speaker 1: You're of course, there are those cherry picked stories where

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Speaker 1: people have had things, But they do millions of procedures.

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Speaker 1: I only had one I done, and for a while

295
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Speaker 1: it was a little bit like my vision was adjusting.

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Speaker 1: They said it could take up to twelve weeks, and

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Speaker 1: it did take I think it's been like about twelve

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Speaker 1: weeks since and I have I wake up every day

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Speaker 1: with perfect vision. Yeah, I don't have to bring contacts

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Speaker 1: on the road with me. I can see up close,

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Speaker 1: I can see far away. It's like it's a fucking dream.

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Speaker 1: Afraid of and I'm afraid of, well, I'm afraid of

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00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,880
Speaker 1: a lot of things. I'm also afraid to get a

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Speaker 1: wedding ring. I'm I have fear. I mean, that's just

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00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,920
Speaker 1: my m O. I don't understand we're the sadding ring.

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00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:04,080
Speaker 1: Are we both Russian Jews? Because that's the problem. Don't

307
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,760
Speaker 1: make this a Russian Jew thing. This is it is true.

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00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,800
Speaker 1: We're sensitive people. We're highly sensitive. We're afraid of the worst.

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Speaker 1: Bad things have happened to us. I gained our history.

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Speaker 1: I understand. But why are you scared to get a ring?

311
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,240
Speaker 1: Because that's like, but you're not scared to get married forever.

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Speaker 1: So don't tell me you're scared of commitment. No I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I'm not scared of commit what's the scared of the ring?

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Speaker 1: I'm scared my finger will get ripped off in a

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Speaker 1: barn door. Okay, I know it. I know it because

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00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,800
Speaker 1: of a guy, a famous author. He was he had

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00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,480
Speaker 1: a ring fallon, almost lost his finger to a ring.

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00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,520
Speaker 1: A ring. Yeah, it's a common thing. I wear rings

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Speaker 1: all the time, but people don't. It doesn't happen that often.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to get ripped off in a barn door,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, what if it does? And fears as well,

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Speaker 1: But these you have to admit the irrational, irrational statistically, Yes, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to get a ring that will detach easily

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00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:59,160
Speaker 1: to a ring. Yeah, us away, you know, then you

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00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,760
Speaker 1: have to get it removed, and that's really than divorce. Yes,

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00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:08,639
Speaker 1: getting a tattoo, had a painful ring? Oh yeah, I

327
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,840
Speaker 1: couldn't get a ring off for almost a year and

328
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,520
Speaker 1: it's still kind of no, it's actually healed around it,

329
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,399
Speaker 1: but it was a little bit like it's kind of

330
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 1: made my finger all like weird for a second and small.

331
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,080
Speaker 1: But I got I bought a ring remover on an

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00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,119
Speaker 1: Amazon and got it off and it was great. It

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00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,120
Speaker 1: was felt victorious. But yeah, um, I love rings though,

334
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,760
Speaker 1: but yeah you do. Sometimes there's this ring I get

335
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,800
Speaker 1: that caught on my nose when I'm washing my face.

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00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,720
Speaker 1: I had to point the heart down. I have a

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00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:36,159
Speaker 1: little heart ring on my pinkie we show people on

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00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:40,119
Speaker 1: YouTube watching and when I have the heart facing the

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00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 1: other way, I would be washing and it would get

340
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,760
Speaker 1: caught and it ripped my nose like it literally ripped

341
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,760
Speaker 1: the nostril to the point where I was like, it

342
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,439
Speaker 1: could have ripped my nostril off. I'm not if it

343
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,720
Speaker 1: would have snacked and it ripped it so much. There

344
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,399
Speaker 1: was blood like a huge mark there and I was

345
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,520
Speaker 1: walking around with it and it had it looked like chocolate,

346
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,359
Speaker 1: like I just smeared like chocolate on my face. That

347
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,520
Speaker 1: would be your first instinct if you saw me. And

348
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,800
Speaker 1: I realized, no one tells me the truth about my people.

349
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 1: Just go we assume Nikki has chocolate on her face

350
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,840
Speaker 1: because no one pointed out. I'm like, I have a

351
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,120
Speaker 1: blood like ripping down my face. I have another story

352
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:12,920
Speaker 1: of blood ripping down my face, and we will talk

353
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:17,879
Speaker 1: about that right after this Beasties before we get back

354
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,199
Speaker 1: to the show. I have so many live dates coming up.

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00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 1: I really want you to come see me. Coming up

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Speaker 1: April fourteenth, that's my next show. Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, then Hampton,

357
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,439
Speaker 1: New Hampshire at the Hampton Beach Casino. Then I'm in

358
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,720
Speaker 1: Tucson where Noah is going to be with us that

359
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,280
Speaker 1: night too. April twenty seventh in Tucson, April twenty eighth,

360
00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:38,880
Speaker 1: and the twenty ninth in Las Vegas. Those dates are

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00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 1: with David Spade. Get on those dates. If you want

362
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,200
Speaker 1: a fun spring trip for you and your friends, plan

363
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,359
Speaker 1: coming to Vegas or just go alone the Venetian Theater

364
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,040
Speaker 1: David Spade and Me in Las Vegas. That is a

365
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,920
Speaker 1: double headliner show for the price of one. It's going

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Speaker 1: to be insane. I cannot wait. And then internationally, I'm

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00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 1: hitting all of these cities within eleven days of each other. Berlin, Vienna, London, Munich, Amsterdam, Oslo, Stockholm, Helsinki,

368
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 1: tel Aviv, Athens, and then in June, I'm back in Sarasota, Florida.

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00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,920
Speaker 1: But we'll tell you all about those later at another time.

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00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,440
Speaker 1: But I hope to see you guys on the road.

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00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 1: I love when you come out to shows. Thank you

372
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,440
Speaker 1: so much for your support. Tell your friends a family,

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00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,320
Speaker 1: if you have any people living in those cities. I

374
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 1: love you so much. See you when the Good World Tour. Okay,

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00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,960
Speaker 1: So the other night I was going on at the

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00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:33,919
Speaker 1: Improp two nights ago, and I made the mistake. So

377
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 1: I get like zits like I have. Like if you

378
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,359
Speaker 1: get zits commonly, they usually come up in the same

379
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:43,760
Speaker 1: poor reinfects and it's always like the same place hormonally.

380
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 1: And for me, there's one like on the corner of

381
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 1: my lip, and it sucks because it looks like a

382
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 1: cold sore. But I get these and I get these

383
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,920
Speaker 1: two and they're deep seated and they take literally weeks

384
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 1: to come out be a white head for you to

385
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,520
Speaker 1: pop and like weeks and weeks. I've had them now

386
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 1: for four weeks and they just they're kind of like

387
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,120
Speaker 1: under the surface. So I can you kind of don't

388
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 1: see them, but I can just feel them all the time.

389
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,159
Speaker 1: And then the other day it kind of came up

390
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,879
Speaker 1: enough that I was just I was in traffic, don't look,

391
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 1: and I was just like, you know when you just

392
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 1: pick it something because you're nervous and you start picking

393
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 1: at the thing you shouldn't be picking it, Yeah, all

394
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 1: the time. So I'm in traffic and I'm just nerve.

395
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,399
Speaker 1: I haven't seen Chris in a while. I'm about to

396
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 1: see Chris. So I'm just like nervous, and I just

397
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,360
Speaker 1: like was like, oh, I got a little piece of skin,

398
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,120
Speaker 1: and I was like, I know I shouldn't, but let

399
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,920
Speaker 1: me just see if it comes off clean. Like what

400
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 1: it lurks inside my brain. That has never happened before.

401
00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 1: In the history of me picking at something, nothing has

402
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: ever come off clean. It has always been worse underneath nothing.

403
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 1: It's not like a sticker on your face you're trying

404
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,360
Speaker 1: to get off. There's a hole and then it bleeds.

405
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,879
Speaker 1: So all of a sudden, my mouth. No, I'm in

406
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,639
Speaker 1: the back of an Chris has not seen me in

407
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 1: we haven't seen each other. We saw the chi once

408
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 1: for Mark Twain for like a couple of hours, but

409
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,160
Speaker 1: we haven't been together for weeks and weeks. I'm about

410
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 1: seeing my boyfriend and my lip is eating. It looks

411
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,480
Speaker 1: like I have a cold sore, and so I'm blotting

412
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 1: it with my finger and I took out a band aid,

413
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,439
Speaker 1: but I didn't do the sticky part of the bandaid.

414
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,440
Speaker 1: I'm just putting the gauze part on, just like trying

415
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 1: to and I'm a block away in traffic from trying

416
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,439
Speaker 1: to get it to stop. It's not stopping. And then

417
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,119
Speaker 1: I see Chris and I'm like, I picked at a ZiT.

418
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 1: It's not anything else, and he's kind of like, oh,

419
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 1: he like didn't need to know that, And so finally

420
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,440
Speaker 1: it stops bleeding and I go I go to a fit.

421
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,639
Speaker 1: I had a fitting when I got into sound, so

422
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: we had like an hour to hang out and then

423
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,160
Speaker 1: I had a fitting and then I go to there

424
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 1: and they're kind of looking at me like, oh, she

425
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 1: has a cold sore. But I didn't even say anything

426
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 1: to them, just like let them think I have a

427
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 1: cold stor I don't care. Everyone does. What's the downside

428
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 1: of having a cold store? Why is that so much

429
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 1: worse than For some reason, It's like when you fart

430
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 1: in bed and you're like, it's a quief. It's like,

431
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 1: it's not as bad as it coming out of your butt.

432
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,160
Speaker 1: Like queefs are less embarrassing than they're still embarrassing, less

433
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 1: embarrassing than farts, and a ZiT is less embarrassing than

434
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:56,160
Speaker 1: a cold store even though it's essentially the same fucking thing.

435
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 1: It's just a sore that you didn't help that you

436
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 1: can't help. You're not bad because you have it, because

437
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,880
Speaker 1: it's associated with dirtiness, and it's a virus. At least

438
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,679
Speaker 1: a z it will. I think that's the thing. It's viral,

439
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 1: so it never goes away, like her sustained it's her,

440
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 1: Well it is her. Yeah, so I think that's why

441
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,399
Speaker 1: the stigma. But I love when people are like, I

442
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,399
Speaker 1: have a cold sort and they're so nonchalant about it.

443
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 1: I think that's so cool, and I think we need

444
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,920
Speaker 1: more of that. Um but I don't get them. Okay,

445
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,359
Speaker 1: you guys don't even think that. I'm just kidding. We

446
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 1: need people telling people about their veneers and cold source

447
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 1: and molestations. Yes, yes, like everything needs to be like

448
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 1: all these things are not your fault. You didn't want

449
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,440
Speaker 1: to get herpes. You didn't want to get a cold sort.

450
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 1: You didn't want to get molested like I was molested.

451
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: You were Yeah. I didn't even realize at the time

452
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 1: I was molested. Wait, hold on a breakd this just

453
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: did Brian friend was molested. I didn't know until much

454
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 1: later on in life. See this is what happens. Wait,

455
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 1: tell me what happened. Well, I worked at a deli

456
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 1: and uh, you know it's all That's how it always starts.

457
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 1: I worked at a deli and I was classic war

458
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 1: worked at a deli. Molestation story. I went in very young.

459
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: I was as old as Uncle Haled, as old as uncle. Yeah,

460
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,679
Speaker 1: I went in. I went in young. Okay, I was

461
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 1: it was illegal. I was twelve years old. Whoa. I

462
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,399
Speaker 1: went in young because I wanted to work. I wanted

463
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 1: to get working with fresh meat exactly, and I sliced

464
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: the meat. They wouldn't let me slice to me until

465
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 1: I was older. Okay, that's did they let you beat

466
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:27,680
Speaker 1: the mets let me watch? Okay, So I would learn

467
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,159
Speaker 1: from that and I would I would stock the bottles

468
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: and wash the dishes. And there was my boss. His

469
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,679
Speaker 1: name was Dennis, and he was a guy. I actually

470
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 1: found my first porn magazine because of Dennis. He had

471
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 1: a box of porn stashed in his basement, in the

472
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 1: basement of the deli. Wanted you to find it. No,

473
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, but it was it was Yes, then

474
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,360
Speaker 1: he probably sent you down there. That's what they do.

475
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 1: They kind of like present sexual situations to go like

476
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,680
Speaker 1: what do you think about this? Well, it's one of

477
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 1: these situations that's like is this molestation or is he

478
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 1: just is this just guys? Guys? I'm gonna go with

479
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 1: the former. He's like a forty five year old owner

480
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 1: of a deli and I'm a twelve year old boy.

481
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: First of all, he shouldn't give you a job, and

482
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 1: there's suspicious already that he wants a twelve year old

483
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 1: boy working for him carrying bottles walking around you have

484
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:19,000
Speaker 1: very heavy bottles. And then he would take a twelve

485
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 1: year old frenzy is so adorable to me? Oh my god,

486
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 1: g skinny chubby with round glasses and a mushroom cut.

487
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and I played the trump into that I

488
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:35,440
Speaker 1: started working out. Okay, yeah, I like he played the trumpet.

489
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 1: I played the trumpet. Oh yeah, do you still know

490
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 1: how to play I play piano instead, you play taps.

491
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 1: I could play taps probably still, But you know, you

492
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: gotta work up just like your callous is on guitar,

493
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 1: you gotta work up your lips. Yeah, is that what

494
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:53,439
Speaker 1: it is? Yeah, you're well, that's only in woodwinds. I

495
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: think I'm not. I'm not sure, but I know that

496
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 1: that's a woodwind's a trumpet player. And he has a

497
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 1: good arm. Sure, yes, Well he's always complaining about it.

498
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 1: I don't even know what that is, like lip strength

499
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: or something. And he's always complaining about like the same thing,

500
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 1: like cold sores or any lip stuff. He can't go

501
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 1: in the sun. He's like, my arm, but sure my lips. Oh,

502
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 1: botox as well, Like when I got a lip flip,

503
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,919
Speaker 1: when I got a little like injectable. There's a thing

504
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: you can do with botox that makes your lip just

505
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 1: go like whoop and flip up. You can't like sip

506
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: on straws. And she's like, do you play any instrument,

507
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,919
Speaker 1: like for how long? Like it just sucked dick and

508
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,199
Speaker 1: it goes away, like it just changes the shape of

509
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: your lip. I just I blow dicks. Um. Yeah, I

510
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 1: had to stop my arm but sure, that would be

511
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:41,639
Speaker 1: so funny to get out of the sucking dick. Because

512
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 1: baby I took up the trumpet. It's my passion. What

513
00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: you're thirty eight? Showed no interest in this. Okay, so

514
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,119
Speaker 1: you're you're carrying bottles, carrying bottles a little boy, a

515
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 1: little boy, and he would take a broom and he

516
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 1: would put it in my butt. No, he would. He

517
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 1: would take a broom and while I was walking and

518
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: then go oh, and I would make that noise, and

519
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 1: then he'd look at me and he'd go, take care

520
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 1: brush your hair. Oh, take take care brush your hair.

521
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 1: And yeah, and I didn't really and so he would

522
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:19,479
Speaker 1: do that like almost every day, but just while I'm working.

523
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: I'm just working multiple times. To take care brush your

524
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: hair was just his little catchphrase after the broom. You

525
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: were annoyed by it, obviously because you're carrying these heavy bottles. Yeah,

526
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:34,679
Speaker 1: I was like, but I was like, is this just

527
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 1: a deli life? Is this? Is this just what it's

528
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 1: like to work? Yeah, to be an adult and you know,

529
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: to be an adult man like, oh, we're just horsing around.

530
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 1: I guess yes. And then you'd say, take care brush

531
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 1: your hair, and I felt like that was made it

532
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,400
Speaker 1: not molestation. But then many years later, I'm in therapy

533
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 1: and I'm saying, you know, this guy did shove a

534
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 1: broom in my butt and they said you were molested,

535
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,719
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't really count it. Yeah,

536
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 1: I mean it's it is. I mean it's the molestation

537
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 1: of like no, molesta means like to disturb, like it

538
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 1: was a sexual disturbance that happened to you. Yes, yes,

539
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 1: violation for sure. Yes, good for you for talking about

540
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 1: it here. I'm so glad it wasn't worse. It didn't

541
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: consciously affect me in any way, although it probably subconsciously

542
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,199
Speaker 1: affected me. But now I do brush my hair like

543
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 1: twenty four hours a day. Do you say that take

544
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,679
Speaker 1: care I take care of definitely. And you only use

545
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,919
Speaker 1: a room bup because you cannot have any rooms near noroosan.

546
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,159
Speaker 1: Anyone listening has done this to anybody, and you're like

547
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 1: fucking passing it off as like frat boy shit or

548
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 1: whatever you're doing. Just stop doing it, Stop doing it

549
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 1: to children. Stop this shit. It is weird. It is.

550
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 1: It fucks people up. I'm sorry this is making me

551
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 1: so angry, but like so many people do this shit,

552
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 1: and they just pass it off as like locker room

553
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: bullshit or just boys being boys. Go get therapy, figure

554
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 1: out why you're bothering children with this shit, and like

555
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 1: deal with their issues. Yes, like this is really fucked

556
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: up and it affects people for many, many years. Well,

557
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 1: I will say that there's just nowhere for people to

558
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: go to say that they're into these things. And that

559
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 1: is a huge problem with why they keep happening is because,

560
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: based on my research, pedophiles have nowhere to turn to

561
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: say I'm attracted to kids. I want to stick a

562
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,199
Speaker 1: broom up this kid's ass, and I don't know what

563
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,240
Speaker 1: to do about it, because if you are to tell

564
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 1: I just started seeing a new therapist yesterday and before

565
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,120
Speaker 1: we get started it was the first time I ever

566
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: have seen a therapist, And before we get started, she says,

567
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 1: I want you to know everything here is confidential unless

568
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 1: you tell me that you're harming someone, you intend to

569
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: harm someone, you intend to harm yourself, or you are

570
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 1: you know, I'm subpoena. And it was like, Okay, that's

571
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: good to know, but at the same time, there needs

572
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: to be a place. I know I've talked about it before,

573
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: but there needs to be a place where people can go,

574
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 1: because if I were to go, you know what I

575
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 1: really have, I want to violate children to like my therapist,

576
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: she would have to report me, and she probably would.

577
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 1: And there should be a place for no maps to

578
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 1: go that's non offending minor attracted persons. There's maps, and

579
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 1: there's no maps, and no maps are good people that

580
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: just have a fucking thing in their brain where they're

581
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 1: attracted to kids. They cannot help it, but they're non

582
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 1: offending and they want to be non offending, but they

583
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,400
Speaker 1: can't get support anywhere because if you admit you're attracted

584
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 1: to kids, you're already kill them, filet them, put them

585
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: away forever. They can't help their attracted to kids, just

586
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 1: like you can't help you're attracted to women, or you

587
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: can't help you're attracted to men. It's the same thing.

588
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 1: They just got a fucking shit deal. And the ones

589
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 1: that do, and the reason why they end up most

590
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: of them end up offending is because they have nowhere

591
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 1: to talk to you about it. And guess who are

592
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: the only people that want to hear about them wanting

593
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 1: to fuck kids? Other people that want to fuck kids. Yeah,

594
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: and so guess who's not going to deter them from

595
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 1: doing that. Other people who want to fuck kids. So

596
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 1: then they go in these communities on the dark web

597
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 1: and they support each other and they teach each other

598
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: how to do it. So unless there's a place for

599
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: them to go, it's going to keep happening. I think

600
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 1: that's the route. What a starting. Oh, there's this by

601
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: law that you can get twelve year olds working for you,

602
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 1: and if you have a basement room, hide your porn

603
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: down there and ask them to go get the milk

604
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 1: bottles and hide the porn right under the milk bottles

605
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: and that way, then go down right as they see

606
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: the porn and go, hey do you like that? Oh,

607
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 1: I saw my porn. They teach them like little shit

608
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 1: like this that just opens the conversation and like opens

609
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 1: the door. There's so many little things that they all

610
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 1: share on these message boards from the podcast I've listened to.

611
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 1: But essentially, until we allow them to admit that they

612
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 1: are attracted to kids and that that's not their fault

613
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 1: and we accept them for that, and we say, okay, well,

614
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 1: you know, people who have homicidal thoughts and want to

615
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 1: kill people, we give I think we give them help,

616
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: and we go, okay, well you want to kill someone, Okay,

617
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: let's help you not do that, or yeah, or anything

618
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 1: that you you struggle with, let's help you not do that.

619
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 1: But for them there's nothing. And so but I am

620
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: seeing a new therapist and she's sucking dope. I'm seeing

621
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: a somatic therapist. Oh yeah, so it's like tapping into

622
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: your Yeah, Noah's like fucking finally, Nikki, she's tapping. She

623
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 1: like taps into your It's not a tapping therapist. I

624
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: don't need to use that word. But we talked about

625
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: it with the trumpet before. But she plays taps. She's

626
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: been tapping your clip. Yeah, yeah, that would be yeah.

627
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 1: And I there's nowhere for her to go to talk

628
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 1: about how that's like take care brush your pubic hair.

629
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 1: I go, okay, it does the ass hair account because

630
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 1: there's nothing will in the front. M Is that still

631
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 1: your pubes your ass hair? Yeah? No, yeah, I wouldn't

632
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: count it isn't any well, publius region is the front pubis.

633
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 1: It's hair that has to do with puberty. You guys, Oh,

634
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. So you're it's like chess hair

635
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 1: is Peter adults. Um, maybe arm hair, pubs or arm hair.

636
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 1: I think I think so, wait, your pubist is that

637
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: area though, you're yeah, that is the Yeah, so I

638
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: think pubs have to be down there, so your asshole

639
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: is pretty close. That's so funny that there is one

640
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 1: hair that's a pube and right next to it. It's

641
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: like you're not on the side man. Yeah, but it's

642
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 1: like it's like, sorry, you're an asshole hair. You live

643
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 1: in Jersey, dar, you're from New York City. You gotta

644
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: go through the tunnel. They get to me. The tain

645
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 1: is like what were they called in the Civil War?

646
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:27,959
Speaker 1: The Confederates, the Union and the pubes? What were they

647
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 1: called in the Civil War? It's like, I don't know,

648
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 1: you should know, wouldn't be and the seventeen eighteen hundreds,

649
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you say pubes back then the devil's lawn.

650
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: Some they did not even address it. Talk about not

651
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 1: addressing things back then. I mean, the first time you

652
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,240
Speaker 1: had sex was probably like the first time you would

653
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,680
Speaker 1: ever heard of sex back in the day, because there's

654
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 1: probably no mention of it at all. Well, the religion,

655
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: you know, they would squash that immediately and you wouldn't

656
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: be able to talk about it until marriage, and then

657
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 1: you'd be really horny on your wedding day, but you

658
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 1: don't even know what you're horning for, Like you've never

659
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 1: even where's that? Oh um the Warren Jeff's documentary, they

660
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 1: have sex and they're like, I didn't even know this

661
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 1: was a thing. And in the first time they're doing

662
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: it was with an eighty year old man and these

663
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: are girls like fourteen. Oh okay, So back to my therapist. Five. Wait,

664
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 1: what a semantic mean? Oh yeah, one, semantic means like us,

665
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: like your body. It's it's when your body stores trauma, um,

666
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: and you use another like physical touch or sound to

667
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 1: get it out. I think, oh, I didn't even know that.

668
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 1: I just thought semantic meant like your body, like feeling things.

669
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: So like she's asking a lot of like because I

670
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 1: told her I've tried this before, and I started crying

671
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 1: almost instantly. I did. I was not emotional yesterday at all.

672
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't even really feel like going

673
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 1: to therapy. But and I didn't get she like asked

674
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 1: me to go through my history of like trauma, and

675
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 1: I'm like not even crying, not even like nothing is

676
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: coming out, like she's like, thank you for sharing that

677
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 1: with me. I'm like, it literally doesn't mean anything to me.

678
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 1: Like I've shared this million times. I would do it

679
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: on a podcast the Whole World. And then she goes, so,

680
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: tell me your history was semantic, and I'm like, well,

681
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 1: I went to this one woman. She would always ask me,

682
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 1: like where do I feel that? Like I would talk

683
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 1: about something painful or something happy, and she's like, no, no,

684
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,319
Speaker 1: do a body scan. Where are you feeling this? And

685
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,240
Speaker 1: I was like, and I could never feel it anywhere.

686
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 1: I would make things up because I knew she wanted

687
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 1: me to give her something like I know that and

688
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: I and I was like, and I just I have

689
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:38,880
Speaker 1: friends who are like feel things. So like I was

690
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,279
Speaker 1: just thinking about Anya. She's so sensitive. She like will

691
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,400
Speaker 1: eat something that's like a little bit spicy and she's like,

692
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 1: I just feel it in my tumue. Like you're you

693
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 1: like have a sensitive you feel everything like you have

694
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 1: you have so many feelings and like and I know that. Kirsten.

695
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 1: She'll eat something like a little bit like m there's

696
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 1: like I think there's tumeric in this and she didn't

697
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 1: like tell It's like I would never know anything. I

698
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 1: have no connection to my body. I think it would

699
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 1: be good for you because it teaches you how to

700
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 1: do that. Yeah, well, I start crying because I'm just

701
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 1: like I just don't feel like a real woman, Like

702
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: I just don't feel things. And then that's what made

703
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 1: me start crying. I was like, I just don't. I

704
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 1: just feel like I'm gonna lie to you just to

705
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: give you what you want because you don't want me

706
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,240
Speaker 1: to feel it somewhere. But I don't feel it anywhere

707
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 1: except in my head, like I don't know. I just

708
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,840
Speaker 1: get sad and it's like up here in my brain

709
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 1: where thoughts are taking but I don't know. So we

710
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 1: start going through stuff and she was like trying or

711
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 1: the first session, she's trying to get me to go

712
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:33,399
Speaker 1: like to really painful stuff and then really happy stuff

713
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 1: and just see the difference, like the juxtaposition. And I

714
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 1: gotta be honest, I was kind of making stuff up

715
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: because I just I didn't feel it anywhere. I was

716
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 1: just like, I gotta fake it, because you're faking it

717
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 1: is what makes it real. I've done that with orgasms too,

718
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: Like I used to fake it before I was having

719
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 1: one because I knew it would help me maybe get

720
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, eventually you will feel yeah yeah,

721
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 1: but no, yesterday it really orgasms. It did work for me.

722
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 1: But yesterday with the thing, she was asking me like,

723
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 1: what's what's something you're looking forward to right now? And

724
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:05,760
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, well, I get to see Taylor

725
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 1: Swift tonight, like I get to be in the same

726
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:09,720
Speaker 1: room as her. She was like, Okay, tell me about Taylor.

727
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:13,879
Speaker 1: And I started crying, like talking means to me, and

728
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,240
Speaker 1: I thought she was gonna be like, well, you're gay,

729
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: is the thing, Like I thought she was gonna say,

730
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 1: like I think you're a closeted because I was just

731
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: like she's just like means so much to me and

732
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,320
Speaker 1: she's like my best friend. But I don't know what.

733
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: I'm just so grateful and I was like crying about

734
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,399
Speaker 1: like getting to see her, and she was like, Okay,

735
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 1: where are you feeling this? And I'm like I know

736
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 1: what she wants to hear. I'm opening up. I'm not

737
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 1: feeling like a little bird like when I was talking

738
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,439
Speaker 1: about my mom and like my childhood, I'm like this

739
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 1: and now I'm like this and then so I just

740
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:45,839
Speaker 1: gave her that, But did I really feel it. I

741
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 1: don't know, you're a performer. If this is, you're gonna

742
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 1: be her tough, toughest challenge yet. She said, I did

743
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,800
Speaker 1: a really good job, and I was like drinned her. God,

744
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: So initially when you were talking about your mom, you

745
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 1: were like hunched over, I know with your arms. I

746
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,840
Speaker 1: saw that. And that's what she wants me to do,

747
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: is just realize the thing's body things I'm doing when

748
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: I'm just She's told me, like my assignment this week

749
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 1: is just when I'm getting when I do these extremes,

750
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,360
Speaker 1: because she says, most people live in this like this

751
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 1: like little river of you know, bad feelings and good feelings,

752
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: and we can kind of like stabilize within that and

753
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 1: it feels really bad and it feels really good but

754
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 1: nothing too much. But often people get thrown off of

755
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 1: that track and it goes really really bad. And I'm

756
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: either way down here or way up here and there's

757
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:34,760
Speaker 1: no really in between, and I need to start feeling.

758
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:36,799
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going to happen when I'm able

759
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: to target what my body is doing when I'm feeling

760
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,760
Speaker 1: those things, but I guess something's gonna cut. Something healing

761
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 1: will come of it. I have no fucking clue. But

762
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 1: so this therapist was really good. What was your favorite

763
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 1: part about it that made you conclude she was good.

764
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,240
Speaker 1: She just had good questions. She kept me on track,

765
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:55,359
Speaker 1: she didn't let me go off because I can really

766
00:37:55,400 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 1: obviously talk a lot. And uh yeah, she just asked

767
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,280
Speaker 1: really good questions and then she had really good insights

768
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 1: into um why. She just right away got who I was.

769
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,439
Speaker 1: She was like, Okay, you have a you are full

770
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 1: of energy, you are bursting with energy. You are not

771
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: because I was telling her, I don't leave any time

772
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 1: for slowness. Like I back, I back to back to back,

773
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 1: schedule everything, because I don't want any time where it's

774
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 1: like I could just do anything right now. I don't

775
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 1: like that. I want everything. I literally will plant. So

776
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 1: I go get coffee, I come back here, and I

777
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,719
Speaker 1: have five minutes to set up the thing and then

778
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,399
Speaker 1: you get here. Yeah, and like I don't want any

779
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 1: time where I have could be on Instagram and I

780
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,360
Speaker 1: like will feel start to feel bad that I'm not

781
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: posting a reel or something, you know, like I don't

782
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 1: want any Yes, I'm a shark. Yeah, yeah, sharks can't stop. Yes,

783
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: And so it happens. What do you feel? I guess

784
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 1: that's the problem is like what I don't know. I think, well,

785
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 1: because when I do stop, I get really depressed. But

786
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 1: I have too much. When I have any time off

787
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:01,479
Speaker 1: that everyone so desperately wants for me, I fall into like, OK,

788
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: really terrible depression. Yes, And so I'm trying to mitigate

789
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 1: for that and try to not to have that happen.

790
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 1: When I feel like I'm not producing or I'm not

791
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 1: creating or I'm not busy equals I'm sad, and I

792
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 1: start to compare myself and I start to just that's

793
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 1: the problem. Yes, if you really truly want to be complete,

794
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 1: then you have to be able to settle down and

795
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,959
Speaker 1: not do anything and not get depressed. But who gives

796
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 1: a shit? Just do stuff? Yeah, that's what I say,

797
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: because I'm taught, because when I'm doing stuff, I'm depressed too,

798
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,400
Speaker 1: because I just become like so tired, and I'm just

799
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 1: like I just and you have something to complain about

800
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 1: that justifies your feelings, as opposed to you're relaxing somewhere

801
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 1: and you have no reason to complain and you're depressed anyway.

802
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 1: Whereas people who work at a grocery store, like I

803
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 1: would love to just take a week off. And you

804
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: take a week off, you get depressed and it's like

805
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:53,359
Speaker 1: who you think you are and that makes you feel

806
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 1: worse about yourself. Yes, exactly, Yes, walking even today, like

807
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,239
Speaker 1: I was kind of lamenting about something today and I

808
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: saw like so many homeless people and schizophrenic people just

809
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 1: like twitching and itching and begging for money with a

810
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 1: blanket over them, and it was just like, yeah, I

811
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 1: felt bad that I was even feeling bad, and um,

812
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 1: but I've been doing this thing that has been so

813
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 1: working lately, and it is I don't know where I

814
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 1: got it from. I'd some you know, some fucking Instagram

815
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 1: reel someone shared it. But what you do is it's

816
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 1: happened for me about five times this week that I've

817
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 1: been doing it. You jerk off your dog, Yeah, and

818
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 1: he's out of come and I got to get a

819
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 1: new dog. Was that funny? I? Yes, I said it,

820
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 1: And then it was I give it like a seven seven.

821
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 1: I think I bet people chuckled listening at home. It

822
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,759
Speaker 1: was out of nowhere. I didn't expect a call back

823
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 1: to the jerking off of the dome was I think

824
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 1: it was a good callback. I give it a seven.

825
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: That's pretty good. It's really good. A seven's good. Yeah,

826
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna go crazy for it. But I didn't

827
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,879
Speaker 1: like it. Um and then I had a little fun

828
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: follow up. I mean, I thought that was some good stuff.

829
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 1: That was good podon so clip it. So then, um, okay,

830
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: here's the here's the hack. When you get into a

831
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: situation where you're like, oh my god, I'm gonna miss

832
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 1: my flight, or like oh these bags are lost, or

833
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 1: like um, oh my God, like we're gonna be late

834
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,959
Speaker 1: to this thing, or just some kind of urgent like bad,

835
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: bad things happened to me, my life is over, like

836
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:25,880
Speaker 1: this is going horribly. I just go, I'm so lucky.

837
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,160
Speaker 1: Things just always work out for me. I'm so lucky.

838
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 1: Literally say it out loud or say it in your head,

839
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 1: and I swear to God it has worked every time. Yeah,

840
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 1: you just say when I get distressed. I did it

841
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:39,879
Speaker 1: this week when I was about to miss a flight.

842
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 1: Another time when I was about I checked bags too

843
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 1: late and it was not it was not looking like

844
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 1: it was. I was, you know, in line doing this

845
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 1: thing of like Jesus Christ, you know, saying that under

846
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 1: my breath, doing my EJ. Glazer thing of like come on,

847
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,280
Speaker 1: you know, like talking to no one, but like wanting

848
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 1: someone yes, but also wanting the person next to me

849
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 1: to hear so that they get and they can be

850
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: like I know and you're like yeah yeah, And then

851
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 1: hopefully it works its way up and then they start

852
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 1: sensing that the line is getting you know what, Now

853
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it this faster because of all these grunts.

854
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 1: But can they move a little faster? Sometimes the way

855
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 1: they staple the boarding passes together, or the type they'll

856
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 1: they'll put their palm on it and then press down.

857
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 1: Just go to think like just be fast. But it's

858
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 1: worked every single time I've done it. You've manifested the

859
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 1: luck or you just feel better. No, it's I made

860
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: my flight, the bag showed up, the bags got checked

861
00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 1: in time, the line suddenly started moving. Like if you

862
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 1: just say and because it's not not true. If you

863
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:42,280
Speaker 1: are a person who's able to even take a flight

864
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 1: or make a phone call, or be able to go

865
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 1: see a doctor, whatever instance, you're you're already in the

866
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 1: top one percent of luckiest people. There are billions of

867
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: people who would kill to beat trade places with you

868
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 1: no matter how like, if you're listening to this podcast

869
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 1: right now, your life is better than literally ninety percent

870
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 1: of the world, like world, honestly, your life is and

871
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 1: if all the time, imagine now you're alive. Now, yeah,

872
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 1: you've won the lottery. Absolutely, we're not Like you didn't

873
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 1: get born into the Warren Jeff's cult. You didn't get

874
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 1: born in you know, imagine you got born in the

875
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 1: negative six hundred six, you'd be dead. You'd already be

876
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 1: dead a hundred Yeah, we'd all be dead. Yes, maybe

877
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: one of us would be like the elder of the tribe. Yeah. Um,

878
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 1: and you're trying to get veneers. But even today, I

879
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 1: was like going to complain about this more broad problem

880
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 1: in my life of like this thing that's like just

881
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,720
Speaker 1: gnawing at me, that's more of like a existential problem.

882
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: And I was like, instead of like just dooming and

883
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,919
Speaker 1: glooming about this, I'm just gonna say it's all gonna

884
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 1: work out, Like I don't need to handle this thing today.

885
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,319
Speaker 1: I'm uncomfortable with this thing that's going on in my

886
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,520
Speaker 1: life right now. I want to change. I'm I'm scared

887
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 1: for change, but I'm also wanting it to change, but

888
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 1: I don't need to make a decision today. And I

889
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 1: think that that's what gets on my gets in my

890
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 1: head sometimes is when I'm like, let's say you're unhappy

891
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 1: with your job or the place you're living, or your

892
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 1: relationship or the car you're driving, whatever friendship you have,

893
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 1: and you're like, I have to make a change, and

894
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 1: you know you're not going to decide today. You know

895
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 1: you're not going to, so stop putting the pressure on

896
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,759
Speaker 1: yourself to like make a decision today. Yeah, because all

897
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: these things I'm always like I need and I know

898
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 1: it's not time to decide yet. And instead I'm just

899
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,920
Speaker 1: gonna say I'm so lucky. I'm lucky that I even

900
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,399
Speaker 1: get to have this decision everything, and just to say

901
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: it randomly, I'm so lucky. Everything always works out for me.

902
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 1: I am a lucky person. And it's like lifts it

903
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 1: and it's just going to take care of itself. Now. Yeah,

904
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:50,760
Speaker 1: I don't have to do I don't have to decide anything,

905
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: and I know it will. I said that about money

906
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 1: all the time I go there, there, there, there will

907
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 1: be more money. I say, spend it as much money

908
00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: as you want, because you'll just make the money. It

909
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 1: doesn't work all the time, You'll just make the money

910
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 1: and then now and so I basically I owe a

911
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 1: lot of money to Chase, Like guy didn't Chase. Yeah,

912
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 1: I named Chase, that friend a lot of money. I

913
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 1: oh my god. I have a similar attitude toward money.

914
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 1: And I think I've never said it out loud, Brian,

915
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 1: but I relate a lot. I've always had an intuitive

916
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 1: approach to money, Like I used to bounce checks all

917
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 1: the time, and then I kind of got my shit

918
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 1: together and like really got it together. And then once

919
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 1: I got signed and I got with a financial advisor,

920
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 1: and like a business manager, I just stopped. Like they

921
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: do my taxes, I sign the paper, like they pay

922
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 1: most of my bills. I don't want to think about it.

923
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: And I'm so much happier now, you know. But I

924
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 1: do have this weird thing where I just spend intuitively

925
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 1: and intuitively when I'm like, I am not sure I

926
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 1: can afford that, I just don't. I don't balance my

927
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,719
Speaker 1: check book now. I'm not that aware of things. I

928
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 1: have like some clarity, but mostly I just rely on

929
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 1: my intuition. And that's probably not that's good. But I

930
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 1: think I'm the money. It just shows up. You don't

931
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 1: spend more money than you can afford intuitively, and when

932
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 1: you do go into crippling, horrific debt, which I've done

933
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 1: many times. Oh god, one hundred thousand dollars on the

934
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 1: credit card. Whoa, it's just what, it's just life. I

935
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:35,279
Speaker 1: don't work, I don't do anything. Yeah, And and then

936
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,320
Speaker 1: when I do work it's for I mean, so it's

937
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: but then eventually it comes. Eventually it comes, yes, and

938
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 1: then you and then you pay it down and everything's fine.

939
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 1: And you know, there's no debtor's prison to say I

940
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 1: am lucky, and there's no lucky, there's no debtor prison.

941
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: You're not going to go into jail for you just

942
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 1: might be on the streets. They might take away everything

943
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 1: you hold dear, and and you might be cripple. You

944
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,439
Speaker 1: will never be able to buy a house. You'll never

945
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,840
Speaker 1: you want people to afford your next medical procedure. But

946
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 1: you know what the street you might have no teeth,

947
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:11,080
Speaker 1: but now I have a nice pair of shoes. I

948
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 1: up you going. Um. I do think an attitude of like, uh,

949
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 1: some relaxation around money is really helpful for me. Like

950
00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 1: I okay, my mom and my dad. My dad is

951
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: constantly stressing about money constantly, and my mom is very

952
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: relaxed about money. My mom has vastly more money than

953
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 1: my father. My father's always stressed out about it. You know.

954
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 1: They're married, of course, but like they have their own

955
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:45,799
Speaker 1: separate accounts too, really, and one of my parents is

956
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: so happy about money, never worries about it, and has

957
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:52,880
Speaker 1: tons of it, and the other is constantly micromanaging everything,

958
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:55,919
Speaker 1: so stressed out, freaked out, And it's just like I'm

959
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:59,319
Speaker 1: more like my mom, you know. And it's funny because

960
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: the person who clings to money tends to be more

961
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 1: miserable and lose it. My mom always says, it's energy.

962
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 1: Money is just energy. Um. Yeah, your mom also said

963
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 1: that breast cancer could be healed by rubbing your hands

964
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:16,240
Speaker 1: together and cupping your hands, warming the hands and placing

965
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 1: them upon the breast. She wasn't wrong, Well you didn't know.

966
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:26,080
Speaker 1: But I was about to get a needle biopsy though,

967
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 1: and then because of my mom, I was like, can

968
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 1: we just take another look? And they did another ultras

969
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 1: out and we're like, oh, actually we don't need to

970
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:36,280
Speaker 1: do any needle biopsy. We can just quickly aspirate that cyst.

971
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:43,960
Speaker 1: You're fine, just go home. No surgery, no needle biopsy. Yes, no, yeah.

972
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 1: The money thing. I grew up with my parents vacillating

973
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 1: between spending a lot, like buying an ice skating rink

974
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:54,760
Speaker 1: that you put in your backyard from Hammock or Slimmer

975
00:48:54,840 --> 00:49:01,840
Speaker 1: like rich people shit for who for us Hammercker Slimmers

976
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 1: like the sharper image, but for richer people. So like

977
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:06,879
Speaker 1: the cover is always like a trampoline on a lake,

978
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 1: Like there's always like products for really rich like people,

979
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 1: just you know, stuff that you would see at the succession,

980
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:16,319
Speaker 1: you know, houses, a fun stuff like a helicopter you

981
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 1: can buy, or like a m a cryogenic chamber for

982
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 1: your guest room. Like there's just shit like that. And

983
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 1: so my dad bought an ice rink like fun. We

984
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 1: would always do fun stuff. And then there was the

985
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:30,920
Speaker 1: also the word destitute thrown around all the time of

986
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,239
Speaker 1: like we are then it would it would vacillate, so

987
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 1: I never knew where. So I I also vacilate between

988
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 1: those two of like I have so much money, and

989
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 1: then I don't look at it, and then I start

990
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 1: going like I have none. Um, but I want to

991
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 1: get back to um. So my lip was bleeding the

992
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:48,560
Speaker 1: other night. I go to my fitting and then I

993
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:50,719
Speaker 1: go to the improv to do a set and I'm

994
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 1: about to walk on stage and it's already like scabbed

995
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,319
Speaker 1: over and I'm like, oh good, thank God. And then

996
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 1: as I'm touching it to make sure it's just like

997
00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 1: not scapped over, I feel like a piece of skin

998
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, that's gotta go, and They're like saying,

999
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:07,920
Speaker 1: my credits right, control yourself. I can't. I can't. When

1000
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 1: I gotta pick out there, I'm picking Nikki, and so

1001
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 1: I was just like, let me just get it because

1002
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 1: it'll just like be a little piece of skin. It's

1003
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 1: not gonna And then fucking I feel I pull it

1004
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 1: and it hurts, and I'm like, I know, I've been

1005
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 1: doing this since I was my teens. This is a bleeder.

1006
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 1: And I go on stage and I'm going like this

1007
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 1: and I go, guys, my lip is bleeding. I was like,

1008
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,239
Speaker 1: and then I thankfully I have a joke for it

1009
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 1: where I'm like, you know, I just you know. I

1010
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,000
Speaker 1: smiled too, like I was like, isn't it great when

1011
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 1: you pick out something? Because everyone relates to it my

1012
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,160
Speaker 1: whole life. I'm shamed of my face bleeding when I

1013
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 1: pick at it too much. Turns out everyone knows what

1014
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:50,319
Speaker 1: this is. Like every girl has picked at something too much.

1015
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 1: Every guy and every girl has covered it up with

1016
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 1: you know, plastered it with um powder to like seal it.

1017
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,160
Speaker 1: And then you smile a weird way, or you hit

1018
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,399
Speaker 1: it and it starts bleeding and you don't even know

1019
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,920
Speaker 1: like everyone, and it's suddenly a relatable thing. So it

1020
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:08,320
Speaker 1: honestly was one of the best sets I've had recently

1021
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 1: because I was able to start with such a relatable,

1022
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:14,840
Speaker 1: honest thing of like the comedian is bleeding. She pointed

1023
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 1: it out, she said exactly what we're all thinking, which

1024
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: is like, what the fuck? So um And then last

1025
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:21,680
Speaker 1: night I went to the iHeart Awards and it was

1026
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: still scabby, so I just put over it, like I

1027
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 1: just said, I didn't touch it all night, though I

1028
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 1: was because I can't. I couldn't risk bleeding on TV.

1029
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:35,880
Speaker 1: We really buried the headline here, He's gonna go to

1030
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 1: a break but right now, but we're gonna come back

1031
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 1: and we'll get into the I Heeart Awards, which are

1032
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 1: last night where Taylor Swift was in attendance as well

1033
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,359
Speaker 1: as yours truly, Nickie Cleanser. So we'll be back with

1034
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,319
Speaker 1: the whole I heeart story right after this. All right,

1035
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 1: we're back. Um. So I went to the iHeart Radio

1036
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 1: Awards last night and the only reason I got to

1037
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 1: go is because the director Joe Gallen, who directed The Ross.

1038
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:00,400
Speaker 1: This is how things work out in life. Did I

1039
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 1: already tell this? No? But this this is how things

1040
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 1: work out for me. Um. Joel Gallen directed The Ross,

1041
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,359
Speaker 1: and when the Ross would air, he would have a

1042
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:13,400
Speaker 1: party at his house for everyone that did it to come.

1043
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,400
Speaker 1: And every single time I was always scared to go

1044
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:19,239
Speaker 1: to these parties because it was just famous people there

1045
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,479
Speaker 1: and also I have to watch myself, which I hate

1046
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 1: watching myself with an audience. And it was just like

1047
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 1: everything in me was like I don't want to go

1048
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 1: to this party. I don't want to do this, Like

1049
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:29,840
Speaker 1: I'm scared, like Ian was the other day to go

1050
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:33,439
Speaker 1: to the fucking um Mark Twain Prize. But I went

1051
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 1: right and in going to it, I got to meet Joel.

1052
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: I got to be because usually directors of shows you

1053
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,359
Speaker 1: don't really meet, you mean, maybe once backstage and then

1054
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:44,640
Speaker 1: they're out in a van outside the center running the

1055
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 1: show from a van, so you don't really see them

1056
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,399
Speaker 1: and interact with them. But I got to know Joel.

1057
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 1: Joel also also um directed Chris Rocks recent special, which

1058
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:56,040
Speaker 1: is great. He does like so many live events. He

1059
00:52:56,080 --> 00:52:59,360
Speaker 1: does them rock and Roll Hall of Fame Award or

1060
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 1: you know, a war induction. And because because I have

1061
00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:06,279
Speaker 1: his number now, I always text him, like, oh my god,

1062
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 1: whenever I see something he's done, I always like write

1063
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 1: him and let him know. And he does all these

1064
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 1: cool music things and which I'm huge music fans, so

1065
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 1: I've gotten to ask him about. There was this one

1066
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 1: shot of Taylor Swift did She performed at the Rock

1067
00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 1: and Roll Hall of Fame and they were honoring Carly Simon,

1068
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:21,919
Speaker 1: I believe, and she was singing will you Still Love

1069
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 1: Me Tomorrow? And they come around, the camera comes around

1070
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 1: and she just like shoots this glance at the camera

1071
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 1: right at the perfect time and like looks at her

1072
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:33,440
Speaker 1: shoulder and like kind of gives it a nod. And

1073
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,879
Speaker 1: I was obsessed with the shot. I'm like, how did

1074
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 1: she plan that to like look at the perfect time

1075
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 1: and do the sultry look and because at first she's

1076
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:42,399
Speaker 1: singing ahead and you're like, she doesn't even know there's

1077
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:43,719
Speaker 1: a camera there, and then she just hits it and

1078
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:45,760
Speaker 1: like does a look, And it's one of my favorite

1079
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 1: little performance moments. So I wrote to Joel and I

1080
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:51,960
Speaker 1: was like, tell me the story behind this shot. Did

1081
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 1: you guys rehearse this? Was this her idea? Was it

1082
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 1: your idea? Because the SHOT's amazing? And he said, and

1083
00:53:57,760 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 1: he's got to love this because nobody ever asks it

1084
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: shit like this. Yeah, I think I found that he's

1085
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 1: open to answering all my questions about this stuff. And

1086
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:09,080
Speaker 1: by the way, no matter how big anyone is, they

1087
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,840
Speaker 1: still want their work to be celebrated. And certainly people

1088
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,600
Speaker 1: behind the scenes do not get as much credit for

1089
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:15,399
Speaker 1: their work as people in front of the camera. So

1090
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:18,240
Speaker 1: I wrote him and I was like, tell me about

1091
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 1: this little moment and if you watch the if you

1092
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:23,320
Speaker 1: watch her singing this, you guys will know exactly what

1093
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:24,919
Speaker 1: I'm talking about it. I think it's within the first

1094
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 1: minute and it's around her shoulder on the right side.

1095
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:31,839
Speaker 1: And he said, not only did we not rehearse it,

1096
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 1: she had no idea what the cameras were. She that

1097
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:38,720
Speaker 1: was just a live moment and she just sensed the camera.

1098
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:40,719
Speaker 1: He said, I've never worked with anyone who is so

1099
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 1: intuitive when it comes to angles and shots, and she

1100
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 1: just saught. And if you look at this, I mean,

1101
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: this is something you would rehearse over and over to

1102
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:50,879
Speaker 1: get it right because it's so perfect and it's such

1103
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:54,280
Speaker 1: a great little moment, both on his part and hers.

1104
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:56,920
Speaker 1: But that was a cool moment. So we just stayed

1105
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 1: in touch. And because he has a huge say in this.

1106
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,400
Speaker 1: I heard Awards two years ago, he was like texted

1107
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 1: me and was like, would you want to present at

1108
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:05,959
Speaker 1: the I Heeart Awards. I was like yes. He didn't

1109
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,239
Speaker 1: even know I had a podcast with iHeartRadio like I

1110
00:55:08,280 --> 00:55:10,280
Speaker 1: Al Radio. No offense to you, guys, you had nothing

1111
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 1: to do with I mean, you had to approve it.

1112
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:16,080
Speaker 1: But Joe Joel Gallan is the one who submitted me

1113
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 1: and thought I would be great, and then I did

1114
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 1: it two years ago, and then I did it, and

1115
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:21,239
Speaker 1: then he wrote me again this year and he called me.

1116
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 1: He was even like, Okay, we can get you on

1117
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 1: a flight from Seattle to like after your Eugene show,

1118
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 1: you can come in on And he was like checking flights.

1119
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:29,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's someone else supposed to be doing this,

1120
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:33,359
Speaker 1: so he gets me to do this thought, I heeart

1121
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:36,239
Speaker 1: fight you up to this? No? Why Joel Gallan? And

1122
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 1: this is this is why you have to go to

1123
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,600
Speaker 1: things and you have to meet people and this is

1124
00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 1: like part of the schmoozing thing and you have to

1125
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 1: be nice and you have Tom. It wasn't anything but

1126
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,799
Speaker 1: genuine to Joel, but like me, developing a relationship with

1127
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,640
Speaker 1: him led to this. And you realize so many people

1128
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:54,839
Speaker 1: in this business get opportunities because they have prior relationships.

1129
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 1: It's all about yeah, like how about you and Adam

1130
00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 1: ruins everything like how did you get that? Get? Well,

1131
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:03,319
Speaker 1: that was a blind packet submission, so like literally didn't

1132
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 1: know who submitted the packet. So the opposite of the

1133
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 1: story met once I got the interview. Yes, I already

1134
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 1: knew Adam, So once I got the interview, it was like,

1135
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 1: well I know him, obviously we're gonna hire go he

1136
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 1: had he blind submitted a packet. My friend blind submitted

1137
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:23,880
Speaker 1: a packet and got this far. We're not gonna not

1138
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:25,719
Speaker 1: hire him now, yes, and now we know it's my

1139
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 1: friend and he's a white man. Bring him in. Yes, yes, no,

1140
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 1: that's that's the way to do twenty sixteen. Yeah, before

1141
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:36,239
Speaker 1: we hear you guys were the Devil. Yeah, I feel

1142
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:42,840
Speaker 1: um anyway, So I get to go and um, Taylor

1143
00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:44,880
Speaker 1: Swift is gonna and Joel tells me Taylor Swift is

1144
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 1: gonna be in the building. I'm like, is she performing

1145
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:48,799
Speaker 1: And he's like, no, she's accepting an award, but she's

1146
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:50,240
Speaker 1: going to be there. And I'm like, oh my god.

1147
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 1: So and he's like, we'll sit you within you know,

1148
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,960
Speaker 1: we'll sit you in close range. So I got I

1149
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:59,280
Speaker 1: get there last night, the red carpet is like full

1150
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:01,440
Speaker 1: of like there's a line to get into the red

1151
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 1: carpet and it is like so packed, and I'm doing

1152
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 1: my thing of like you're lucky, You're just lucky things

1153
00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 1: work out for you. Because I'm like, I've got fifteen

1154
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:10,840
Speaker 1: minutes before I need to be inside the theater. The

1155
00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:13,839
Speaker 1: show starts, and this red carpet is backed up with

1156
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 1: people no one you would recognize, like Chris and I

1157
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 1: Chris Condy, my boyfriend went with me. We were both like,

1158
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:21,880
Speaker 1: we don't recognize we don't know any of these people.

1159
00:57:21,920 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 1: I saw Emma from dancing with the stars who I

1160
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 1: always see in line when we were at these things.

1161
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:31,920
Speaker 1: I saw, I guess Dojakat, which I didn't know it

1162
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:33,919
Speaker 1: was her at first because she had like blonde hair.

1163
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 1: She did not look like Dojakat to me last night,

1164
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:39,920
Speaker 1: and I saw, like some country stars you could just

1165
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: tell who's famous because they're just dressed nicer. They just

1166
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:47,280
Speaker 1: look so cool. And I looked pretty cool last night too,

1167
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 1: because I had a great team working on me all day,

1168
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:51,520
Speaker 1: so I had an amazing dress, amazing hairmakeup. I looked

1169
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,600
Speaker 1: important for sure. I stood out because like the effort

1170
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 1: went into it. So I get on the carpet, Chris

1171
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 1: gets supposed with me for some and then I do

1172
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:00,600
Speaker 1: some solo ones and then we get down the line

1173
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:01,960
Speaker 1: and there's like all these interviews, so I have to

1174
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:04,280
Speaker 1: use the pictures. Then there's all the press doing interviews

1175
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 1: like extra and you know TMZ and not associated press,

1176
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: like you know, all the junkets, and Chris is like,

1177
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:12,640
Speaker 1: do you want to do these? And I have a

1178
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:14,520
Speaker 1: guy like walking me down the red carpet, but he's

1179
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 1: not really like he's like, I don't know how to

1180
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:17,920
Speaker 1: do this. I think this is his first day on

1181
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 1: the job, and I'm like, you don't how to do

1182
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 1: your job. So I Chris starts going up to people

1183
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 1: and I see him getting rejected of like do you

1184
00:58:24,080 --> 00:58:25,840
Speaker 1: want to talk to Nikki Glazer? And they're just like

1185
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:29,560
Speaker 1: we're good. Like I see him getting knows because they

1186
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:31,240
Speaker 1: don't even know. They don't know whom. It's fine, they

1187
00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 1: don't know who. There's too many people to know. And

1188
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:35,360
Speaker 1: this is a music event, like if you're doing your research,

1189
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:38,600
Speaker 1: you're not You're not even expecting Nick Glazer to be here.

1190
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 1: So I'm like I can't watch Chris get rejected anymore.

1191
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:45,560
Speaker 1: I just need to show myself. So I go up

1192
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 1: to this guy at E and I go, Hi, Nikki

1193
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: Glazer how to show on E? Like do you want

1194
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 1: to talk to me? And you could tell he did

1195
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 1: not did not want to at all, but like it's me.

1196
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:58,160
Speaker 1: He can turn down Chris for me, but he can't

1197
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 1: turn down me. So he's just like, how are you

1198
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:04,240
Speaker 1: feeling tonight? And it's like looking past me looking for

1199
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 1: anyone more famous, any you know. It was just and

1200
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 1: then after the interview, I just go Chris, we don't

1201
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 1: need to do this because these interviews never even show

1202
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:14,920
Speaker 1: up anywhere. I never even see them when I do

1203
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 1: do them. So I was like, only when somebody is

1204
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 1: particularly rude do they show up. That's the only time

1205
00:59:20,360 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 1: I ever see him. It is like that person was

1206
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 1: rude to this reporter, or that reporter was really rude

1207
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:28,120
Speaker 1: today they said an awkward thing like the Hugh Grant moment,

1208
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:32,560
Speaker 1: or but yes, it's a no win situation, totally true.

1209
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 1: Those I don't know where else those are showing up?

1210
00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:39,480
Speaker 1: Who watches extra? I'm sorry? And the nail salon sometimes

1211
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:41,400
Speaker 1: I have to because it's on the screen or whatever.

1212
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,280
Speaker 1: Yesterday was Deal or No Deal from two thousand and eight.

1213
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 1: I was like, my good Mark, I was like riveted

1214
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:48,400
Speaker 1: on a on a Deal or No Deal episode yesterday

1215
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:51,040
Speaker 1: it was so fun. That shows so fun. Yeah, I

1216
00:59:51,120 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 1: forget how it's so it's not really an interview, but

1217
00:59:55,120 --> 01:00:00,120
Speaker 1: you're on page six. Yeah you're right under Kravts for

1218
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 1: outfits on the red carpet. Oh really, what at the

1219
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,680
Speaker 1: what's my captain? Because the Daily Mail Captain was hilarious.

1220
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:09,800
Speaker 1: It was like Nicky Glazer glitters in gold and displays

1221
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:16,760
Speaker 1: her long glowing tan legs. So it's Nicky Glazer wearing

1222
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:20,919
Speaker 1: a nude embellished dress. Oh all right, I'll take it.

1223
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:25,040
Speaker 1: For some people. Page six is the pinnacle of fame.

1224
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:27,560
Speaker 1: I mean under Lenny Kravitz too. That's not bad. My

1225
01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 1: placement was pretty good Daily Mail. You had to scroll

1226
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 1: so hard you get carpal tunnel to get down to

1227
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 1: where my photo was. Poread. I mean it was so

1228
01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:38,360
Speaker 1: long down like I'm literally like the fortieth person down.

1229
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:41,440
Speaker 1: I'm right like a teen mom is right before me.

1230
01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 1: I think from MTB's team, mom Um, But uh yeah,

1231
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,920
Speaker 1: Letny Kravitz host it. So that's a good placement on

1232
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,800
Speaker 1: page six. Thank you. Page six, So I get through,

1233
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 1: We go inside, and we walked on this gauntlet. So

1234
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 1: after the red carpet, there's a gauntlet of fans, like

1235
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you, a tenth of a mile, like

1236
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:03,000
Speaker 1: a pretty long gauntlet of like on both sides, no

1237
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 1: one said anything to me. I got through. Chris was

1238
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:08,240
Speaker 1: about to film, and I go, don't film this. This

1239
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 1: is so embarrassing, and I look important, Like, my god,

1240
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:14,560
Speaker 1: it looks like clearly someone should take a picture of

1241
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:16,920
Speaker 1: this lady. She looks like she's coming through with like

1242
01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:19,800
Speaker 1: a team. No one cared, and so I started going,

1243
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:23,560
Speaker 1: I'm Nicky Glazer. I'm and then they start going nicky Nikky.

1244
01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 1: So I have to do that for myself, and I'm like,

1245
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 1: I'm a funny comedian you might recognize and then they

1246
01:01:29,040 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 1: start recognizing me. But they didn't. I just don't think

1247
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,680
Speaker 1: people contextually were thinking I would be there. Adam music

1248
01:01:33,920 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 1: that you need to hire a town crier. You need to,

1249
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:38,720
Speaker 1: like in medieval times, you need someone to come out

1250
01:01:38,760 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 1: with the trumpet, maybe on your dad, yeah, oh yeah,

1251
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 1: and blow the trumpet and then this is ni. Here

1252
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:49,000
Speaker 1: comes Nicky Glazer. She's a funny comedian. When they do

1253
01:01:49,040 --> 01:01:51,080
Speaker 1: on the red carpet, generally they have a person come

1254
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 1: out and go it's Nicky Glazer. She has a new

1255
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 1: show coming out on e she has a podcast, and

1256
01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:58,160
Speaker 1: then everyone starts. So I didn't have that yesterday. They

1257
01:01:58,200 --> 01:01:59,800
Speaker 1: had a little click. They had a whiteboard, so the

1258
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 1: photographers knew who I was and said Nicky Glazer presenter,

1259
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 1: and so they knew, but all the fans had no

1260
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 1: idea until I started telling them, and then they're freaking out.

1261
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 1: I do the same thing when TMZ vans drive by.

1262
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:13,200
Speaker 1: I always on the street. I'm always like, I'm Niggay Glazer,

1263
01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:15,400
Speaker 1: I'm a host of fon. You saw someone famous today?

1264
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:16,880
Speaker 1: And then they take pictures but they don't really know

1265
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:20,160
Speaker 1: who I am. Yes, people, I lie, you do what

1266
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 1: do you say? I say, like, I produce burn Notice

1267
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 1: or something, and then the guy the tour guide gets

1268
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:32,440
Speaker 1: to say, oh, there is a producer, Yeah that is

1269
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 1: I'm like eating a corned beef sandwich and I said,

1270
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:40,919
Speaker 1: I produced bird Notice. I used to say, um, I'm

1271
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:42,920
Speaker 1: friends with Amy Schumer before I was famous, That's what

1272
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:44,880
Speaker 1: I would say, and people literally would take pictures of me.

1273
01:02:45,920 --> 01:02:48,560
Speaker 1: But um so now, so I go into the thing

1274
01:02:48,720 --> 01:02:52,680
Speaker 1: and I were early and it's filling up slowly, and

1275
01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:54,959
Speaker 1: I'm just waiting for Taylor to come in. I don't

1276
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,200
Speaker 1: have to wonder when Taylor is in the room, you

1277
01:02:57,240 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 1: know why, because people start shrieking their fucking faces off.

1278
01:03:01,600 --> 01:03:04,440
Speaker 1: So I hear shrieking and I know exactly that Taylor's

1279
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:09,360
Speaker 1: in the room, and she comes in and um, she

1280
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:10,800
Speaker 1: is wearing I don't know if you guys saw it,

1281
01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 1: She's wearing like a hooded, sparkly amazing outfit. It harkens

1282
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:18,400
Speaker 1: back to not only reputation era, which is maybe we're

1283
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,959
Speaker 1: getting a hint that the new her new Tailor's version

1284
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,960
Speaker 1: is going to be reputation. I think this is more

1285
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,360
Speaker 1: of a reference to her Bejeweled video, in which she's

1286
01:03:25,360 --> 01:03:30,080
Speaker 1: wearing a sparkly bejeweled hood. It almost is the identical

1287
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:31,880
Speaker 1: to the video. So I don't think this is a

1288
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:34,520
Speaker 1: reputation thing. Any Swift he's listening. I saw it. I

1289
01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 1: thought it looked like I thought it was awesome looking

1290
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:40,000
Speaker 1: reminded me of Cha chain mail. Yes, and I was like,

1291
01:03:40,040 --> 01:03:43,120
Speaker 1: all right, she's going for battle. Oh yes, well that

1292
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:45,440
Speaker 1: was a reputation era. She was ready for battle. That

1293
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:48,080
Speaker 1: was after Kanye stuff, and so that was like so

1294
01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:49,720
Speaker 1: she and maybe it was in reference step, but she

1295
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:52,280
Speaker 1: looked fucking cool as fuck. It was one of my

1296
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:54,520
Speaker 1: favorite looks of her ever. So she walks in, she

1297
01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:58,400
Speaker 1: is five rows in front of me, um, which is yeah,

1298
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:02,040
Speaker 1: rying as soon as she walks in, even though I

1299
01:04:02,080 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 1: have been this close to her before. I was close

1300
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 1: to her on the rooftop for the nineteen eighty nine

1301
01:04:06,040 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 1: premiere that Chris got me into and we both made

1302
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:09,960
Speaker 1: eye contact and I go, it's cold, and she goes,

1303
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:12,160
Speaker 1: it is and so we had a moment. So there,

1304
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:13,720
Speaker 1: I was close to her in that moment. I met

1305
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 1: her backstage at the Red Tour. That was before I

1306
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:17,840
Speaker 1: was a swifty, So I've been closer before, but this

1307
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:21,720
Speaker 1: has been you know, my fandom has gone up so

1308
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 1: much more even since the nineteen eighty nine moment on

1309
01:04:24,360 --> 01:04:27,280
Speaker 1: the rooftop. That being this close to her now is

1310
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:29,760
Speaker 1: as if I'm inside her compared to those moments, like,

1311
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:32,720
Speaker 1: it's so much closer than even hugging her. I hugged

1312
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:34,240
Speaker 1: her at the Red Tour. I took a picture I

1313
01:04:34,240 --> 01:04:37,720
Speaker 1: talked on many years ago. Was that that was twenty thirteen, Okay,

1314
01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 1: so over ten years ago. Yeah, And it was before

1315
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 1: I was a swifty. I was just like, this girl

1316
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:44,280
Speaker 1: is so amazing. But I didn't know. I didn't know

1317
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:45,960
Speaker 1: where it would take me. I became a swifty when

1318
01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:47,760
Speaker 1: Blank Space came out. That was the moment it hit

1319
01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:49,400
Speaker 1: me and I go, my life has forever changed. I

1320
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:52,080
Speaker 1: will never not be obsessed with this woman and in

1321
01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:54,880
Speaker 1: love with her. And so she so last night, I'm

1322
01:04:54,880 --> 01:04:56,560
Speaker 1: a little I get tier eyed when she walks in

1323
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 1: because she's just right there and I just know she's

1324
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,000
Speaker 1: like taking a break from her tour. Right now, she

1325
01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:03,800
Speaker 1: is exhausted. She is doing this for us, She's doing this.

1326
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:06,480
Speaker 1: She's just given so much, and I'm just And then

1327
01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:08,880
Speaker 1: I start getting really territorial because first of all, she

1328
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:10,640
Speaker 1: has a huge team. The show hasn't started yet, she

1329
01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:12,840
Speaker 1: has a huge team around her. First, we watched a

1330
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:15,360
Speaker 1: Pink performance because it was a pre tape. It was

1331
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:18,040
Speaker 1: the opening performance, but they've to clear the stage, so

1332
01:05:18,080 --> 01:05:20,400
Speaker 1: the only thing they pre taped was the Pink performance

1333
01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:23,440
Speaker 1: and then that air five minutes later, so they taped that.

1334
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 1: She wasn't in the room. Then she gets brought in

1335
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:27,720
Speaker 1: the room. Then we're kind of waiting and people surround her,

1336
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 1: and thank god, because people are trying to come up

1337
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:34,080
Speaker 1: to her. People are freaking I mean, everyone's freaking out.

1338
01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:40,200
Speaker 1: Everyone's a goddamn swifty And and then Flava Flave, by

1339
01:05:40,200 --> 01:05:42,080
Speaker 1: the way, is right next to me. He seated like

1340
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:44,400
Speaker 1: three rows ahead of me, and he's on the right side.

1341
01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:46,280
Speaker 1: So there's an aisle. I'm right on the aisle. Taylor

1342
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:49,040
Speaker 1: Swift is in front of me five rows. Flavor Flav

1343
01:05:49,160 --> 01:05:51,720
Speaker 1: is to the right across the aisle, but closer to Taylor,

1344
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:55,360
Speaker 1: probably two rows ahead, and I see Flavor Flav get

1345
01:05:55,480 --> 01:05:58,720
Speaker 1: up and start walking to Taylor Swift and I just

1346
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:01,960
Speaker 1: go you stay away from because I know Flavor Flav.

1347
01:06:02,120 --> 01:06:05,480
Speaker 1: I mean Flavor Flav. Everyone loves Flavor Flav, no question

1348
01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:07,640
Speaker 1: about it. He's just a kind person. I used to

1349
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:09,920
Speaker 1: watch Flavor of Love. I love him of that show.

1350
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:12,720
Speaker 1: He's just and he's so cute and he's like dressed

1351
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:16,600
Speaker 1: with his clock and um and Chris was like, why

1352
01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:17,760
Speaker 1: is here him? I was like, he was getting a

1353
01:06:17,760 --> 01:06:22,640
Speaker 1: lifetime achieve an award from Time from the clock appreciative

1354
01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 1: of the concept of time is honoring him tonight. So

1355
01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:27,720
Speaker 1: he walks over and I'm like, and I'm saying this

1356
01:06:27,720 --> 01:06:30,320
Speaker 1: to everyone who approaches you, get away from her. Don't

1357
01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:32,640
Speaker 1: sap her energy, because she's gonna have She's gonna be

1358
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:34,800
Speaker 1: nice because she's a nice person. So she's not gonna

1359
01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:37,480
Speaker 1: be a diva to anyone. She has to have diva's

1360
01:06:37,480 --> 01:06:40,640
Speaker 1: around her protecting her. But he found an in and Flavor.

1361
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:44,040
Speaker 1: If you look, there's Getty images. There's so many images

1362
01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:46,000
Speaker 1: of her and Flavor Flavor. It's like the funniest thing.

1363
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:48,160
Speaker 1: And they're taking a selfie together and people are making

1364
01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:50,400
Speaker 1: front of Taylor for taking They saying it's such a

1365
01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:52,800
Speaker 1: millennial thing and not a gen Z thing to take

1366
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:57,000
Speaker 1: a pick selfie and to take it with the upper volume.

1367
01:06:57,760 --> 01:07:00,240
Speaker 1: Do you do you know that takes a picture? I like,

1368
01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:02,080
Speaker 1: if we were to take a sey of course, Okay,

1369
01:07:02,120 --> 01:07:04,400
Speaker 1: so it's the upper volume instead of pressing on the

1370
01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:07,840
Speaker 1: thing itself, you just go like this and that's millennial

1371
01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:10,000
Speaker 1: and it takes a photo. Gen Z's making fun of it. Yeah,

1372
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:11,840
Speaker 1: they're making like, look how she takes a photo. I'm like,

1373
01:07:11,880 --> 01:07:15,240
Speaker 1: that's the smart way. How does gen Z do it?

1374
01:07:15,400 --> 01:07:21,000
Speaker 1: Like this? No face of it itself. It's so much harder.

1375
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:24,840
Speaker 1: So yeah, so here's this took so long for them

1376
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:26,600
Speaker 1: to figure out how to do though, because at first

1377
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:30,040
Speaker 1: he comes over, she's got to give Flavor Flav the respect. Yeah,

1378
01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:32,360
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh, I'm sure. She's like, but I

1379
01:07:32,440 --> 01:07:35,120
Speaker 1: have to say this was all because he breached her

1380
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:38,320
Speaker 1: security line and just no, it's gonna well because it's

1381
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:40,040
Speaker 1: just it's on security line. It was just like her, like,

1382
01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:42,560
Speaker 1: it's not actually security, it's just people. It's like her,

1383
01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:45,160
Speaker 1: like publicists and stuff. So he just comes up because

1384
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:47,240
Speaker 1: he's Flavor Flav like no one's gonna be like, get

1385
01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:51,520
Speaker 1: out of your flavor, Flavor, you're famous. He blinds them.

1386
01:07:51,560 --> 01:07:54,080
Speaker 1: They start like just a burn hole through their head

1387
01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:58,000
Speaker 1: burn notice. And so he gets it, and she's of

1388
01:07:58,000 --> 01:07:59,480
Speaker 1: course going to be nice. But that was not like

1389
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:02,040
Speaker 1: a planned thing. That was flavor flav just inserting himself,

1390
01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:06,400
Speaker 1: not understanding. I don't think he understands how off limits

1391
01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:09,959
Speaker 1: this woman shouldn't be like the Bachelor. If you want

1392
01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:13,640
Speaker 1: time with the Bachelor, you gotta be like yeah. And

1393
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:15,959
Speaker 1: then they took me backstage to go. So he gets

1394
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:18,000
Speaker 1: that picture and she's obviously so nice. Then she gets

1395
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:20,160
Speaker 1: her award and she dives the best speech. She talks

1396
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:23,639
Speaker 1: about how everyone sees how often she wins, and it's

1397
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:25,799
Speaker 1: like all you see or her successes, but she's failed

1398
01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:29,879
Speaker 1: so many times. And she was like, thousands and thousands

1399
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:32,639
Speaker 1: of times, I have done the wrong thing, I've written

1400
01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:35,639
Speaker 1: the wrong song, I've I've failed and you don't see that,

1401
01:08:35,800 --> 01:08:37,920
Speaker 1: but that is what happens, so please, she goes, I

1402
01:08:37,960 --> 01:08:40,360
Speaker 1: hate failing. I'm never gonna be comfortable with it. It's

1403
01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:43,519
Speaker 1: embarrassing to fail, but I give myself permission to fail.

1404
01:08:43,560 --> 01:08:45,240
Speaker 1: And I thought that was a really nice thing for

1405
01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:46,680
Speaker 1: her to say, and she said, especially I want to

1406
01:08:46,680 --> 01:08:48,360
Speaker 1: say this, especially to young people. And I'm like, no,

1407
01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:52,360
Speaker 1: I need to hear this, bitch. I so needed it.

1408
01:08:52,439 --> 01:08:55,519
Speaker 1: So her speech was just so sweet and she's just

1409
01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:59,679
Speaker 1: this is why I love her, because she's she's she's

1410
01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:02,920
Speaker 1: just like you guys, oh my god, thank you. Like

1411
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:06,439
Speaker 1: she's honestly still like like shocked that people are like God.

1412
01:09:06,520 --> 01:09:08,719
Speaker 1: She goes, thank you for the clapping, Oh my god,

1413
01:09:08,760 --> 01:09:11,720
Speaker 1: that's so nice. Like she's still like she's also thank

1414
01:09:11,720 --> 01:09:14,240
Speaker 1: you for putting that video together. Yeah, thank you for

1415
01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:16,599
Speaker 1: putting the video together. That video all those people because

1416
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:18,479
Speaker 1: there was like this montage video people talking about how

1417
01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:20,559
Speaker 1: great she has all these celebrities and she's like, I

1418
01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:24,360
Speaker 1: can't believe that video. And it's like, Taylor, yes, you like,

1419
01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:27,840
Speaker 1: but she really doesn't. She's still humble enough, or maybe

1420
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:29,759
Speaker 1: she's pretending to be, but I don't think it's pretend

1421
01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:32,400
Speaker 1: because a lot of Swifties have compiled videos of her

1422
01:09:32,479 --> 01:09:34,920
Speaker 1: from childhood videos that have been released, and she was

1423
01:09:34,960 --> 01:09:37,599
Speaker 1: always a grateful little girl. She's always like thank you,

1424
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:40,320
Speaker 1: thank Like even when she was three, she was thanking

1425
01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:42,200
Speaker 1: people and saying please and thank you. And that's why

1426
01:09:42,240 --> 01:09:44,080
Speaker 1: I like Taylors because she has like normal parents that

1427
01:09:44,120 --> 01:09:46,479
Speaker 1: don't look like botox to death. They don't look like

1428
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:50,320
Speaker 1: fame pushing parents. They're just like good people. And so

1429
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:53,679
Speaker 1: I get brought back during the fourth act, and my

1430
01:09:54,080 --> 01:09:55,840
Speaker 1: part is in the seventh act, so they bring me

1431
01:09:55,880 --> 01:09:57,360
Speaker 1: back early to go get touch ups and go over

1432
01:09:57,400 --> 01:10:00,799
Speaker 1: the prompter and figure it out. And and I'm struggling

1433
01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:03,040
Speaker 1: with my joke because it's kind of like lame because

1434
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:04,960
Speaker 1: I tried to do other jokes. So I'm presenting the

1435
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:10,120
Speaker 1: best new artists to perform, and I wanted to do

1436
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:13,040
Speaker 1: like in my tone of voice, which was like the

1437
01:10:13,120 --> 01:10:15,800
Speaker 1: best new artist. Think about it, think about how I go.

1438
01:10:15,920 --> 01:10:19,920
Speaker 1: No matter who you love, I said something I wanted

1439
01:10:19,960 --> 01:10:22,000
Speaker 1: to do a bit to the effect of your favorite

1440
01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:25,320
Speaker 1: artist was once the best new artist, or like was

1441
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:27,880
Speaker 1: a new artist. Everyone you know and love and think

1442
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:30,599
Speaker 1: they've been around forever has once been a new artist.

1443
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:33,160
Speaker 1: Because it's almost my point about when people go who's

1444
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,040
Speaker 1: this girl? When I show up on something, they're like,

1445
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:37,920
Speaker 1: who is this? And you just go, did you know

1446
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:40,360
Speaker 1: who Tom Hanks was? Forever? There's a point where you

1447
01:10:40,360 --> 01:10:43,040
Speaker 1: figure out who everyone's new at some point, like you

1448
01:10:43,120 --> 01:10:45,320
Speaker 1: gotta you gotta meet me at some point and then

1449
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:47,479
Speaker 1: you'll like me. But when you were born, the doctor

1450
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:51,920
Speaker 1: was like, who the hell, I don't know this at all?

1451
01:10:52,479 --> 01:10:55,439
Speaker 1: Why would they cast her in my Yeah, people just

1452
01:10:55,479 --> 01:10:58,800
Speaker 1: are confused. So my point was going to be like

1453
01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:01,120
Speaker 1: at one I wrote this, that was like there was

1454
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:04,160
Speaker 1: even a one point when someone was like who is

1455
01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:06,320
Speaker 1: this and they're like it's this hot new guy Beethoven

1456
01:11:06,479 --> 01:11:09,799
Speaker 1: And they're like, this is sick box. Doesn't stand a chance,

1457
01:11:09,840 --> 01:11:12,200
Speaker 1: Like there was a there was a time when Beethoven

1458
01:11:12,240 --> 01:11:14,160
Speaker 1: was the hot new kid on the scene. Yeah, and

1459
01:11:14,840 --> 01:11:18,559
Speaker 1: k too. Yeah was he he's a child prodigy? Oh yeah,

1460
01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:22,000
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Um, And then there was another run

1461
01:11:22,120 --> 01:11:24,960
Speaker 1: I had about um, oh, I was gonna say even

1462
01:11:24,960 --> 01:11:27,400
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift was a new artist at one point. There

1463
01:11:27,479 --> 01:11:29,200
Speaker 1: was a point when someone was like, oh no, I

1464
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:31,800
Speaker 1: was gonna say scratch that. I said Taylor Swift. So

1465
01:11:31,880 --> 01:11:34,040
Speaker 1: my thing was gonna be you know, I'm presenting for

1466
01:11:34,120 --> 01:11:37,240
Speaker 1: best new art I'm presenting these best new artists, and

1467
01:11:37,479 --> 01:11:39,280
Speaker 1: every artist you know and love has once been a

1468
01:11:39,320 --> 01:11:41,200
Speaker 1: new artist. There was a time where someone was like,

1469
01:11:41,320 --> 01:11:46,240
Speaker 1: who is this she's really good. Taylor Shift, Oh my god,

1470
01:11:46,280 --> 01:11:48,360
Speaker 1: Taylor Shift is great. I'm a shifty and I was

1471
01:11:48,400 --> 01:11:50,200
Speaker 1: gonna like have that be a joke, but they were like,

1472
01:11:50,240 --> 01:11:52,200
Speaker 1: we don't want that. And then another joke guy wrote

1473
01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:54,599
Speaker 1: was gonna be like, you know, there's nothing like the

1474
01:11:54,600 --> 01:11:57,760
Speaker 1: first time you hear your new favorite song and you go,

1475
01:11:57,880 --> 01:12:01,240
Speaker 1: who is this? She's amazing and they go, that's Rob

1476
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:08,599
Speaker 1: Snyder's daughter, the girl that sings exes and oh's they

1477
01:12:08,680 --> 01:12:13,400
Speaker 1: want me? You know jasiders real yesh, my god. So

1478
01:12:13,400 --> 01:12:16,720
Speaker 1: they vetoed those. So I ended up doing I ended

1479
01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:20,439
Speaker 1: up doing a more generic like thing of um, you know,

1480
01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:24,479
Speaker 1: you just I heeart always has the greatest new music,

1481
01:12:24,520 --> 01:12:27,400
Speaker 1: whether you're looking for something to listen to at the gym,

1482
01:12:27,560 --> 01:12:29,720
Speaker 1: or you're need something to cry to, or you're just

1483
01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:32,400
Speaker 1: crying at the gym, not because you're sad, because you're

1484
01:12:32,400 --> 01:12:34,120
Speaker 1: trying to get the free weights to yourself. No one

1485
01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:35,880
Speaker 1: knows what to do with a sobbing woman doing him

1486
01:12:35,920 --> 01:12:39,320
Speaker 1: thrust to Anti Hero or something like that. So, um,

1487
01:12:39,479 --> 01:12:41,519
Speaker 1: I ended up doing that. But I go backstage and

1488
01:12:41,640 --> 01:12:43,439
Speaker 1: on the way back stage because I have a little time,

1489
01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:45,960
Speaker 1: my handler is like Taylor Swift's over here. Do you

1490
01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:47,120
Speaker 1: want do you want to try to meet her? And

1491
01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:50,880
Speaker 1: I go, no, I'm not I'm not flavor flaving. I

1492
01:12:50,880 --> 01:12:53,519
Speaker 1: don't want to bug her. I'm not in I'm not

1493
01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:56,839
Speaker 1: in this to bug I'm I want to leave her alone.

1494
01:12:56,880 --> 01:12:59,680
Speaker 1: I don't want her to know. I don't need her

1495
01:12:59,720 --> 01:13:01,600
Speaker 1: to lay focus on me. And so I passed up

1496
01:13:01,640 --> 01:13:04,080
Speaker 1: the opportunity to find her. I didn't want to do it.

1497
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:06,000
Speaker 1: It wasn't the right time. I just didn't feel right.

1498
01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:08,120
Speaker 1: And then I go backstage. I do my thing. Kelly

1499
01:13:08,120 --> 01:13:10,240
Speaker 1: Clarkson comes off stage. Her and Pink performed together. I

1500
01:13:10,280 --> 01:13:12,800
Speaker 1: missed that performance because I'm backstage. But they come off

1501
01:13:12,840 --> 01:13:14,840
Speaker 1: and Kelly like kind of I go, great job, and

1502
01:13:14,920 --> 01:13:17,000
Speaker 1: Kelly's like, oh my god, hi, and she gives me

1503
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:19,360
Speaker 1: a hug, which is really nice because she doesn't have

1504
01:13:19,400 --> 01:13:21,080
Speaker 1: to recognize me, even though I've been on her show

1505
01:13:21,160 --> 01:13:23,720
Speaker 1: three times, but like, still, I wouldn't expect her to

1506
01:13:23,760 --> 01:13:25,280
Speaker 1: remember me, and she was like, I never see you

1507
01:13:25,280 --> 01:13:27,839
Speaker 1: in this context. Oh my god. Hello. She was so nice,

1508
01:13:27,840 --> 01:13:30,240
Speaker 1: and I heard her backstage say to Pink after they

1509
01:13:30,240 --> 01:13:33,160
Speaker 1: go off stage. I never get nervous singing, except if

1510
01:13:33,160 --> 01:13:36,320
Speaker 1: i'm singing with you, which I thought was kind of

1511
01:13:36,320 --> 01:13:39,639
Speaker 1: a cool little backstage moment of like she really reveres

1512
01:13:39,720 --> 01:13:42,640
Speaker 1: Pink's voice. Yeah, yeah, I thought that was cool. And

1513
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:46,040
Speaker 1: so then I do my thing and I have to

1514
01:13:46,120 --> 01:13:49,519
Speaker 1: walk upstairs, and I have the pointiest shoes I've ever had.

1515
01:13:49,520 --> 01:13:51,200
Speaker 1: They look like elf shoes. Let me just show you

1516
01:13:51,240 --> 01:13:56,559
Speaker 1: with them. They're the longest shoes I've ever worn in

1517
01:13:56,600 --> 01:13:59,400
Speaker 1: my life, and they're pretty interesting. Look at they have

1518
01:13:59,439 --> 01:14:02,720
Speaker 1: a spring that rats around your own leg. Okay, this

1519
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:06,439
Speaker 1: is so funny the shoe and pay off of a person.

1520
01:14:06,560 --> 01:14:08,559
Speaker 1: It's very long, but look at how much more war

1521
01:14:08,560 --> 01:14:10,559
Speaker 1: it's coming. My foot ends there and it's coming off that.

1522
01:14:10,600 --> 01:14:12,519
Speaker 1: And I have to walk upstairs. This is a classic

1523
01:14:12,560 --> 01:14:14,679
Speaker 1: tripping shoe, like where you know when you have slightly

1524
01:14:14,720 --> 01:14:17,439
Speaker 1: bigger shoes and you start hitting the stair and you trip.

1525
01:14:17,560 --> 01:14:23,400
Speaker 1: So I have to walk up stairs, Briar. This is

1526
01:14:23,439 --> 01:14:28,320
Speaker 1: like a little joker shoe. Back in medieval times, the

1527
01:14:28,400 --> 01:14:31,680
Speaker 1: length Corchester. Sorry, the length of this thing was like

1528
01:14:31,720 --> 01:14:33,880
Speaker 1: a It was like a man would wear them. It

1529
01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:36,160
Speaker 1: was a fashion statement for men. And the longer you're

1530
01:14:36,800 --> 01:14:40,760
Speaker 1: the big shoe. Yeah, basically kind of Oh wow, So

1531
01:14:41,439 --> 01:14:43,120
Speaker 1: I'm walking upstairs, I'm like, oh my god. So I

1532
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:45,439
Speaker 1: practice it and it goes fine. And I have to

1533
01:14:45,479 --> 01:14:48,200
Speaker 1: say every single time I presented an award recently or

1534
01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:52,040
Speaker 1: done like any kind of prompt or reading an award show,

1535
01:14:52,680 --> 01:14:55,639
Speaker 1: which has been several times recently, I flubbed a line

1536
01:14:55,640 --> 01:14:57,479
Speaker 1: and I don't really care because no one cares. But

1537
01:14:57,560 --> 01:15:00,720
Speaker 1: it's like, you're just nerves, you flubb line. And I

1538
01:15:00,760 --> 01:15:02,240
Speaker 1: had a lot of copy to get through it to

1539
01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:04,639
Speaker 1: be like and infinitely brings you the best new artist

1540
01:15:04,840 --> 01:15:07,160
Speaker 1: who helps you discover and I heard helps you discover

1541
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:10,360
Speaker 1: your next favorite artist that is infinitely you, infinitely you,

1542
01:15:10,520 --> 01:15:11,920
Speaker 1: and like all these and then I had to say

1543
01:15:11,960 --> 01:15:15,040
Speaker 1: a four artist names and present them and I didn't

1544
01:15:15,080 --> 01:15:18,000
Speaker 1: fuck up a single line. I nailed it. And I

1545
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:21,080
Speaker 1: got the note right before from Joel Gallen. Someone Joel

1546
01:15:21,160 --> 01:15:23,920
Speaker 1: told someone, the director told someone to tell me, hey.

1547
01:15:24,040 --> 01:15:26,240
Speaker 1: And the guy that was working with me, by the way,

1548
01:15:26,439 --> 01:15:28,400
Speaker 1: was the same guy that came out on stage when

1549
01:15:28,439 --> 01:15:31,879
Speaker 1: they presented the wrong Best Picture nomination of the Oscars.

1550
01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:33,320
Speaker 1: He was the one that came out on stage and

1551
01:15:33,400 --> 01:15:35,320
Speaker 1: was like, no, no, no, no no no, it was not

1552
01:15:35,439 --> 01:15:40,880
Speaker 1: La La Land. And so he that guy was famous.

1553
01:15:40,880 --> 01:15:42,400
Speaker 1: I didn't find out till after. Chris was like, you

1554
01:15:42,439 --> 01:15:44,400
Speaker 1: know the guy that was your stage manager, he's the

1555
01:15:44,400 --> 01:15:46,719
Speaker 1: guy that was the Oscars And I was like, ah,

1556
01:15:46,720 --> 01:15:48,680
Speaker 1: he's famous. And he was really nice and was a

1557
01:15:48,680 --> 01:15:50,120
Speaker 1: fan of mine and we were talking about Saint Louis

1558
01:15:50,160 --> 01:15:53,639
Speaker 1: and stuff. But anyway, Joel had one of the writers

1559
01:15:53,640 --> 01:15:55,920
Speaker 1: come up to me and go, hey, can you go fast?

1560
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:58,400
Speaker 1: And I was like, that's the that's the name of

1561
01:15:58,439 --> 01:16:00,559
Speaker 1: the game, Like, are you kid me? And I was like,

1562
01:16:00,640 --> 01:16:02,680
Speaker 1: I am good. And that's why I didn't try to

1563
01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:05,760
Speaker 1: fight for my the line. I wanted to say, I'm

1564
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:08,759
Speaker 1: a team player at these things. I want I'm serving Joel,

1565
01:16:09,040 --> 01:16:10,519
Speaker 1: who is the director. I want to give him a

1566
01:16:10,520 --> 01:16:13,720
Speaker 1: smooth show. And so I zipped through it. I nailed it.

1567
01:16:14,120 --> 01:16:17,680
Speaker 1: And then after the show, Chris and I went to

1568
01:16:17,680 --> 01:16:20,680
Speaker 1: go get pizza and we're sitting at the restaurant and

1569
01:16:20,760 --> 01:16:25,519
Speaker 1: he gets a text from UM like the another one

1570
01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:28,680
Speaker 1: of the UM big like number two in line I

1571
01:16:28,720 --> 01:16:32,120
Speaker 1: think right underneath Joel and he said Nikki must be

1572
01:16:32,160 --> 01:16:34,680
Speaker 1: gunning to host this thing. Because I was in the

1573
01:16:34,720 --> 01:16:38,479
Speaker 1: control room and the execs at Fox go, that's the

1574
01:16:38,600 --> 01:16:42,720
Speaker 1: energy we want brought to this that I was like, yes,

1575
01:16:43,720 --> 01:16:50,679
Speaker 1: all right, it's good, it's good to fight. Yes, but Kravitz,

1576
01:16:50,720 --> 01:16:52,639
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm no Lenny Kravitz, but I do think

1577
01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:54,439
Speaker 1: I am a really good host. And it was like

1578
01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:57,240
Speaker 1: it was a nice reminder to not do because Chris

1579
01:16:57,320 --> 01:17:01,320
Speaker 1: last night, when I final thought, was helping me with

1580
01:17:01,400 --> 01:17:04,000
Speaker 1: my line, because I was working with writers and texting

1581
01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:06,639
Speaker 1: with them about what I was going to say to present,

1582
01:17:07,360 --> 01:17:09,320
Speaker 1: and Chris was like, you can do this generic one

1583
01:17:09,439 --> 01:17:11,240
Speaker 1: or do you think do you think Schumer would do

1584
01:17:11,280 --> 01:17:14,439
Speaker 1: the generic one? Do you think Tina Fey or Sarah

1585
01:17:14,439 --> 01:17:16,280
Speaker 1: Silverman would do the generic one? Or would they try

1586
01:17:16,320 --> 01:17:18,680
Speaker 1: to fight for what they want to do? And I

1587
01:17:18,720 --> 01:17:20,760
Speaker 1: was like, I do believe they would fight for it,

1588
01:17:21,200 --> 01:17:23,439
Speaker 1: but I don't think this is the place to do that.

1589
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:25,240
Speaker 1: Like I think there's a time and a place to

1590
01:17:25,560 --> 01:17:28,799
Speaker 1: fight for originality and to be yourself, but like, I

1591
01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:30,800
Speaker 1: think it's better for me to work with what I'm

1592
01:17:31,360 --> 01:17:34,839
Speaker 1: they're giving me and make that my own, as opposed

1593
01:17:34,840 --> 01:17:38,479
Speaker 1: to trying to buck the system and inject something that

1594
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:42,479
Speaker 1: is not what is already approved by this sponsored event.

1595
01:17:42,840 --> 01:17:45,559
Speaker 1: And then I heard Taylor Swift speech of saying, you know,

1596
01:17:45,880 --> 01:17:48,640
Speaker 1: I she gave. So she got two awards last night,

1597
01:17:48,680 --> 01:17:51,240
Speaker 1: and she one of her speeches was also about it

1598
01:17:51,280 --> 01:17:54,760
Speaker 1: was also inspiring, was saying about Anti here at one

1599
01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:56,920
Speaker 1: for Best Song, and she said, we really didn't think

1600
01:17:56,920 --> 01:17:58,759
Speaker 1: this was going to be the single because this song

1601
01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:02,400
Speaker 1: isn't like a classic single song. It's not I didn't

1602
01:18:02,400 --> 01:18:05,040
Speaker 1: think it was like, you know, catchy enough, not simple enough.

1603
01:18:05,080 --> 01:18:07,479
Speaker 1: It wasn't all of these things that a single needs

1604
01:18:07,520 --> 01:18:09,280
Speaker 1: to be. And so when I said it was going

1605
01:18:09,320 --> 01:18:10,560
Speaker 1: to be the single, I knew people are going to

1606
01:18:10,600 --> 01:18:16,280
Speaker 1: be disappointed. And she said, but I have never like

1607
01:18:16,720 --> 01:18:20,280
Speaker 1: the for it. Yeah, she won Best Song for it,

1608
01:18:20,320 --> 01:18:23,120
Speaker 1: so it obviously did work. But she said she said

1609
01:18:23,160 --> 01:18:25,800
Speaker 1: something to the effect of when I've played it safe,

1610
01:18:25,840 --> 01:18:28,320
Speaker 1: it hasn't worked out for me. When I give people

1611
01:18:28,320 --> 01:18:30,880
Speaker 1: what they want, and when it doesn't work out, it's

1612
01:18:30,920 --> 01:18:33,560
Speaker 1: doing the thing that I want to do and trusting

1613
01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:37,960
Speaker 1: my intuition and trying to be different. Everyone's telling you

1614
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:40,360
Speaker 1: to be like other people, but the thing that's really

1615
01:18:40,360 --> 01:18:42,559
Speaker 1: going to set you apart and make you successful is

1616
01:18:42,600 --> 01:18:45,880
Speaker 1: doing what is uniquely you. And so then I heard that,

1617
01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:47,920
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, I should have done my own line.

1618
01:18:47,920 --> 01:18:50,000
Speaker 1: So I was getting mixed messages, which you always get

1619
01:18:50,040 --> 01:18:51,800
Speaker 1: and which is always kind of my final thought on

1620
01:18:51,840 --> 01:18:53,720
Speaker 1: the show, which is like I get told one thing

1621
01:18:53,720 --> 01:18:55,840
Speaker 1: and then I get told another. But I think I did.

1622
01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:58,920
Speaker 1: I did a perfect mix of like falling in line

1623
01:18:59,080 --> 01:19:01,640
Speaker 1: when you have to, but also injecting yourself into it

1624
01:19:01,640 --> 01:19:03,360
Speaker 1: and making the most of a moment when you find

1625
01:19:03,360 --> 01:19:05,040
Speaker 1: yourself back to do a corner where you're not going

1626
01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:07,400
Speaker 1: to get to be yourself, and being a team player

1627
01:19:07,439 --> 01:19:10,680
Speaker 1: and knowing the job. My job was not to go

1628
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:12,760
Speaker 1: in and be Nicki Glazer and be memorable. It was

1629
01:19:12,800 --> 01:19:16,479
Speaker 1: to present a little award, keep things tight. I'm a

1630
01:19:16,760 --> 01:19:19,880
Speaker 1: I'm a professional presenter. I'm a professional host. Most of

1631
01:19:19,920 --> 01:19:23,040
Speaker 1: these people presenting awards are like musicians who are still

1632
01:19:23,040 --> 01:19:24,640
Speaker 1: trying to be kind of cool. They don't know how

1633
01:19:24,640 --> 01:19:27,360
Speaker 1: to read a prompter. My role was to keep the

1634
01:19:27,439 --> 01:19:29,559
Speaker 1: show moving and that's what I did, and I hope

1635
01:19:29,680 --> 01:19:31,400
Speaker 1: I get to do it again. I probably will because

1636
01:19:31,439 --> 01:19:35,120
Speaker 1: of that. So nice. You had a choice to make,

1637
01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:37,920
Speaker 1: I mean you could you chose. The one choice was

1638
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:40,040
Speaker 1: do I want to do what the producers and the

1639
01:19:40,040 --> 01:19:42,479
Speaker 1: creators of this show would want, or do I want

1640
01:19:42,479 --> 01:19:45,960
Speaker 1: to make like a few more fans. Basically, yes, they're

1641
01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:49,519
Speaker 1: both are equal choices. Yes, and I've I've done the

1642
01:19:49,560 --> 01:19:52,000
Speaker 1: other thing before. And I have to say when I

1643
01:19:52,040 --> 01:19:57,400
Speaker 1: try to oftentimes trying to be I mean, Chris even

1644
01:19:57,439 --> 01:19:59,720
Speaker 1: said it, I would I would have trying been trying

1645
01:19:59,760 --> 01:20:01,559
Speaker 1: to be Amy Schumer er Tina Fey in that moment,

1646
01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:03,800
Speaker 1: because it isn't like me to go like I'm just

1647
01:20:03,840 --> 01:20:06,400
Speaker 1: gonna fucking do what I want, like I would have

1648
01:20:06,479 --> 01:20:11,400
Speaker 1: been imitating someone else even to be different. So also,

1649
01:20:11,560 --> 01:20:14,240
Speaker 1: your joke and your delivery is yours, so it is

1650
01:20:14,320 --> 01:20:17,040
Speaker 1: essentially used. I was able to make it me because

1651
01:20:17,040 --> 01:20:19,519
Speaker 1: at first the joke was like or you're just crying

1652
01:20:19,520 --> 01:20:21,479
Speaker 1: at the gym, and then it's over, and Chris was like,

1653
01:20:21,479 --> 01:20:23,559
Speaker 1: it's kind of like a crying woman joke, like we've

1654
01:20:23,560 --> 01:20:26,400
Speaker 1: heard it. It's just like women cry. It's just like,

1655
01:20:26,479 --> 01:20:29,200
Speaker 1: I don't know. And then when Jocelyn Hughes, a writer,

1656
01:20:29,360 --> 01:20:31,000
Speaker 1: changed it and she was like, I'm not sad, it

1657
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:32,400
Speaker 1: was just because I want to use the free weights

1658
01:20:32,439 --> 01:20:35,760
Speaker 1: alone or whatever, that made it like that took it

1659
01:20:35,840 --> 01:20:38,679
Speaker 1: out of that realm of like, oh, sad woman, crying

1660
01:20:38,720 --> 01:20:41,439
Speaker 1: women cry all the time at the gym and made

1661
01:20:41,479 --> 01:20:45,240
Speaker 1: it way funnier. So shout out to Connor mcspladden. Connor mcspadden,

1662
01:20:45,280 --> 01:20:48,200
Speaker 1: it's Bladden and uh Jocelyn Hughes, who are the writers

1663
01:20:48,200 --> 01:20:50,400
Speaker 1: on that and that wrote that joke with me and

1664
01:20:52,280 --> 01:20:56,280
Speaker 1: what else? So yeah, and I was exciting. What a

1665
01:20:56,320 --> 01:20:59,920
Speaker 1: great night, Nikki and you are a knockout. Oh thank you?

1666
01:21:00,160 --> 01:21:03,320
Speaker 1: It was my clam team did an amazing job. Shout

1667
01:21:03,320 --> 01:21:05,519
Speaker 1: out to Karna, shout out to Christina, shout out to

1668
01:21:05,680 --> 01:21:09,479
Speaker 1: Danny and Emma. But um they Yeah, it was really

1669
01:21:09,479 --> 01:21:11,519
Speaker 1: fun getting ready for it. But the best part was

1670
01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:15,000
Speaker 1: in California. When you shoot these shows, it's over and

1671
01:21:15,040 --> 01:21:18,120
Speaker 1: then it's still light outside. It started at five o'clock,

1672
01:21:18,200 --> 01:21:21,320
Speaker 1: it ended at eight, and we or seven. It ended

1673
01:21:21,320 --> 01:21:22,840
Speaker 1: at seven. It was a two hour show. Chris and

1674
01:21:22,840 --> 01:21:25,439
Speaker 1: I were like, it's it's still light out and we

1675
01:21:25,439 --> 01:21:28,080
Speaker 1: had a whole night at Itzza time and we what

1676
01:21:28,160 --> 01:21:31,200
Speaker 1: did you say, pizza time? What was in the pizza?

1677
01:21:31,600 --> 01:21:33,840
Speaker 1: What's happen? I went to cross Roads, which is a

1678
01:21:33,920 --> 01:21:35,840
Speaker 1: vegan place. We tried to go to Lucifer's, but we

1679
01:21:35,840 --> 01:21:37,800
Speaker 1: walked in there was like heavy metal music playing and

1680
01:21:37,840 --> 01:21:41,080
Speaker 1: the sign said no bathrooms. And I was like, we're leaving,

1681
01:21:41,479 --> 01:21:44,720
Speaker 1: So I called another uber and we went to Crossroads,

1682
01:21:44,960 --> 01:21:47,679
Speaker 1: which is a vegan place. We saw um Billy Corgan.

1683
01:21:49,720 --> 01:21:51,840
Speaker 1: He's a fantas of vegan. It was bumping up in

1684
01:21:51,840 --> 01:21:53,240
Speaker 1: that place. We sat at the bar, which I love

1685
01:21:53,280 --> 01:21:55,040
Speaker 1: sitting at the bar in a restaurant because Chris does

1686
01:21:55,080 --> 01:21:56,320
Speaker 1: not like to sit on the same side of the

1687
01:21:56,320 --> 01:22:00,280
Speaker 1: table as me when we're dining together. And I like city.

1688
01:22:00,320 --> 01:22:02,400
Speaker 1: I like being like cuddly and like, oh what are

1689
01:22:02,400 --> 01:22:04,400
Speaker 1: you eating, and like being a couple. But at the bar,

1690
01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:09,080
Speaker 1: you're forced to sit next to me and we ate, Um,

1691
01:22:09,120 --> 01:22:12,320
Speaker 1: a pep you know, a pepperoni pizza which is so delicious,

1692
01:22:12,320 --> 01:22:15,320
Speaker 1: and I got some. Yeah, it was just really delicious food.

1693
01:22:15,320 --> 01:22:17,400
Speaker 1: And then we went home and we watched Love Is

1694
01:22:17,439 --> 01:22:23,400
Speaker 1: Blind the new season, which is fantastic. Oh my god. Yeah,

1695
01:22:23,400 --> 01:22:26,000
Speaker 1: do you watch last one? Yes? You should watch this

1696
01:22:26,040 --> 01:22:27,760
Speaker 1: new season. You guys. We got to talk about it

1697
01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:30,800
Speaker 1: because some best season will upstate. On The Bachelor, it's over.

1698
01:22:31,040 --> 01:22:34,400
Speaker 1: If you want to know what happened, Okay, do you

1699
01:22:35,120 --> 01:22:37,080
Speaker 1: I mean sure? He picked the girl. He picked the

1700
01:22:37,120 --> 01:22:41,960
Speaker 1: girl I said he was going to pick. He picked Yeah, Katie,

1701
01:22:42,120 --> 01:22:47,559
Speaker 1: classic of course, speaking of um Bachelor. Sitting next to

1702
01:22:47,560 --> 01:22:49,360
Speaker 1: me at the iHeart Awards last night was this girl

1703
01:22:49,400 --> 01:22:50,720
Speaker 1: and she was like, I'm a huge fan. I know

1704
01:22:50,760 --> 01:22:53,080
Speaker 1: Bill Dixon, I know Elon, which are two Bachelor guys,

1705
01:22:53,120 --> 01:22:59,519
Speaker 1: but they're my um guys from um hold on one second, Um,

1706
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:02,920
Speaker 1: they're guys from Fboey Island. They also created that. So

1707
01:23:03,040 --> 01:23:08,960
Speaker 1: I saw last night Kalin from the Bachelor Colton season,

1708
01:23:09,160 --> 01:23:11,960
Speaker 1: who is now engaged to Dean and they met on

1709
01:23:12,000 --> 01:23:15,920
Speaker 1: Bachelor Patodise. Do you know who that is? Oh? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1710
01:23:17,200 --> 01:23:19,439
Speaker 1: she'd been together a long time. They live in a van.

1711
01:23:19,880 --> 01:23:22,439
Speaker 1: She is a durable they're not living in Vegas, but

1712
01:23:22,520 --> 01:23:24,880
Speaker 1: she is so sweet and um she looked like Reese

1713
01:23:24,880 --> 01:23:30,160
Speaker 1: Witherspoon and they're now engaged and um, she was really nice.

1714
01:23:30,479 --> 01:23:32,320
Speaker 1: And I just want to say. There is a clip

1715
01:23:32,360 --> 01:23:34,880
Speaker 1: of me though, applauding Taylor Swift at the awards when

1716
01:23:34,960 --> 01:23:38,599
Speaker 1: she got her award, and Chris was laughing so hard

1717
01:23:38,640 --> 01:23:41,599
Speaker 1: because I could not. I was trying to behave myself

1718
01:23:41,600 --> 01:23:45,120
Speaker 1: in every other way. I can't squash my inner Swift. Ye,

1719
01:23:45,240 --> 01:23:47,920
Speaker 1: I was because Phoebe Bridgers was also there, who was

1720
01:23:47,960 --> 01:23:51,320
Speaker 1: like one of my favorite musicians ever and she's presenting

1721
01:23:51,400 --> 01:23:54,160
Speaker 1: to Taylor and I couldn't help but go like what

1722
01:23:54,439 --> 01:24:00,439
Speaker 1: love screaming like a person. I know they did. And

1723
01:24:00,439 --> 01:24:04,560
Speaker 1: I is writing to me saying, thank you for representing

1724
01:24:04,880 --> 01:24:09,080
Speaker 1: the level of enthusiasm that our girl, our blondie deserved,

1725
01:24:09,320 --> 01:24:11,800
Speaker 1: because you brought it. You weren't too cool, you were

1726
01:24:11,840 --> 01:24:14,800
Speaker 1: like jumping up and down, So thank you for that acknowledgment.

1727
01:24:14,840 --> 01:24:16,880
Speaker 1: And of course I brought that. And I will not

1728
01:24:16,920 --> 01:24:19,720
Speaker 1: disturb our girl. I will keep her safe. I just

1729
01:24:19,800 --> 01:24:21,760
Speaker 1: kept Chris out of video of me just going like

1730
01:24:21,840 --> 01:24:26,439
Speaker 1: you strom her. I would just see people like lurking

1731
01:24:26,479 --> 01:24:29,919
Speaker 1: towards her and a good wherever she needs to be protected.

1732
01:24:29,920 --> 01:24:31,479
Speaker 1: I want to be like on her security team. And

1733
01:24:31,520 --> 01:24:33,360
Speaker 1: I will not talk to you, Taylor. I just want

1734
01:24:33,360 --> 01:24:37,679
Speaker 1: to protect you. Um. Anyways, a great night, and that's

1735
01:24:37,680 --> 01:24:40,040
Speaker 1: and Brian, thank you for coming by. Um, we'll see

1736
01:24:40,040 --> 01:24:43,439
Speaker 1: you tomorrow on the podcast too. You'll come by. Oh

1737
01:24:43,560 --> 01:24:50,320
Speaker 1: yeah that's tomorrow. Yeah, what time we'll see Okay, hopefully

1738
01:24:50,360 --> 01:24:54,679
Speaker 1: I don't sound craggily with my fucking voice. Oh. One

1739
01:24:54,760 --> 01:24:57,400
Speaker 1: last thing I got asked to go. I just got

1740
01:24:57,479 --> 01:25:00,639
Speaker 1: to ask my producer from my reality show now producing

1741
01:25:00,680 --> 01:25:03,720
Speaker 1: a reality show with Paris Hilton, and she's like, Hey,

1742
01:25:03,720 --> 01:25:05,240
Speaker 1: we're shopping today, do you want to be on the

1743
01:25:05,240 --> 01:25:08,200
Speaker 1: show and come buy Sacks and like hang out with Taylor?

1744
01:25:09,439 --> 01:25:11,880
Speaker 1: And I don't Paris you'll like it? Or yeah, sorry

1745
01:25:11,920 --> 01:25:15,920
Speaker 1: Paris or Taylor Paris equally as impressive. I don't feel

1746
01:25:15,960 --> 01:25:18,960
Speaker 1: like it is. That is this me being Ian right

1747
01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:25,000
Speaker 1: now and scared? Yes, what are you going to do? Instead? Rest?

1748
01:25:24,560 --> 01:25:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm cold? I have to switch hotels. I have to

1749
01:25:29,479 --> 01:25:33,760
Speaker 1: then I have to look by what you just said

1750
01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:36,080
Speaker 1: goes against everything you've been saying for the last hour.

1751
01:25:36,720 --> 01:25:39,200
Speaker 1: So I gotta go. I gotta do it. And how

1752
01:25:39,200 --> 01:25:43,120
Speaker 1: long is it going to be? Anyway? So lucky I

1753
01:25:43,160 --> 01:25:44,880
Speaker 1: am still looking all works out. So maybe if I

1754
01:25:44,920 --> 01:25:46,800
Speaker 1: don't go, I'm still lucky and it will all work

1755
01:25:46,800 --> 01:25:49,799
Speaker 1: out because I kind of just want a little break

1756
01:25:49,840 --> 01:25:52,320
Speaker 1: today and I don't feel like going to I don't

1757
01:25:52,320 --> 01:25:54,920
Speaker 1: know how to dress for shopping at Sacks. It's gonna

1758
01:25:54,920 --> 01:25:57,600
Speaker 1: be tough or with And I'm telling you, being on

1759
01:25:57,640 --> 01:26:01,760
Speaker 1: camera with Paris Hilton is not fun. You look, you

1760
01:26:01,880 --> 01:26:04,559
Speaker 1: just look real rough because next to her, you're like,

1761
01:26:04,640 --> 01:26:08,559
Speaker 1: she's like pristine and she's heading on makeup said if

1762
01:26:08,600 --> 01:26:11,200
Speaker 1: they said you can have her glam team, just come,

1763
01:26:11,240 --> 01:26:12,840
Speaker 1: we'll help you get ready, it'll be no. And then

1764
01:26:12,880 --> 01:26:14,599
Speaker 1: I don't want to get ready because that takes too long,

1765
01:26:14,760 --> 01:26:16,880
Speaker 1: so they can't get me either way, but I do.

1766
01:26:16,960 --> 01:26:19,120
Speaker 1: I think I might do it. We'll see. We'll find

1767
01:26:19,120 --> 01:26:20,800
Speaker 1: out tomorrow on the show if I do it. And

1768
01:26:20,880 --> 01:26:22,400
Speaker 1: I know you're like, I can't believe you're turning down

1769
01:26:22,400 --> 01:26:25,280
Speaker 1: and are so funny together on cooking with Paris. I

1770
01:26:25,360 --> 01:26:27,519
Speaker 1: think it's going to be great. Okay, maybe I should

1771
01:26:27,520 --> 01:26:34,439
Speaker 1: do feel the moment it's done. Whoa, that's goods of

1772
01:26:34,600 --> 01:26:37,960
Speaker 1: successful people. That's why I will feel think about hired

1773
01:26:38,600 --> 01:26:41,880
Speaker 1: and like I might have just given Taylor or Paris COVID.

1774
01:26:43,280 --> 01:26:45,040
Speaker 1: I don't have covid. I got tested, but I do

1775
01:26:45,120 --> 01:26:47,880
Speaker 1: have something crackland in my throat. All right, guys, we

1776
01:26:47,920 --> 01:26:49,680
Speaker 1: gotta go. Thank you for listening to the podcast. We'll

1777
01:26:49,720 --> 01:26:53,080
Speaker 1: see you tomorrow on the show. Don't be cooked? And

1778
01:26:53,240 --> 01:26:55,479
Speaker 1: did you just go film that scene with Paris? Come on,

1779
01:26:55,520 --> 01:26:57,160
Speaker 1: what do you? What do you? What are you been doing?

1780
01:26:57,200 --> 01:26:59,880
Speaker 1: Stead sleep? Yeah? Probably, Well that's a good thing to

1781
01:27:00,120 --> 01:27:01,479
Speaker 1: so either way, it's gonna work out for you. You're

1782
01:27:01,560 --> 01:27:04,560
Speaker 1: very lucky. H