WEBVTT - Survivor's Beauty with Grace Azubike

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<v Speaker 1>When things affect your friends who have turned family, it

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<v Speaker 1>hits different.

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<v Speaker 2>Stepping into my new reality now a twenty sentence, But

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<v Speaker 2>that's all I got, dead ass. Hey, I'm Kadeen and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's. You may know us

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<v Speaker 2>from posting funny videos with.

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<v Speaker 1>Our boys and reading each other publicly as.

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<v Speaker 2>A form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need therapy

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<v Speaker 2>most days.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, sir, we are.

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<v Speaker 2>We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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<v Speaker 2>Li's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>talk about through the lens of a millennial married couple.

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<v Speaker 2>Dead ass is a term that we say every day.

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<v Speaker 2>So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts

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<v Speaker 2>one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but

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<v Speaker 2>the truth. We about to take philos off to our

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<v Speaker 2>whole new level.

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<v Speaker 1>Dead ass starts right now. Story time, all right now.

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<v Speaker 1>So it was a random I want to say, Monday morning,

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<v Speaker 1>got the kids off to school, went back to lay

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<v Speaker 1>down for a little bit, then got up to pee,

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<v Speaker 1>check my phone and I see a text message from Grace. Grace,

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<v Speaker 1>who is my makeup artist in Atlanta whose turned friend

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<v Speaker 1>turned family and Janelle, Janelle everyone knows is my hairstylist

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<v Speaker 1>that I've known for years. I mean, did my my

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<v Speaker 1>hair for my wedding, like all that, right, all the events,

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<v Speaker 1>all the events, and you know, it's not unusual for

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<v Speaker 1>us to have our group text where we're Kiki and

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<v Speaker 1>we chit chat and we share, you know, memes.

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<v Speaker 2>And we pray and we do all sorts of stuff together.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, But this particular morning, I you know, went to

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<v Speaker 1>use the bathroom and then I standing in front of

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<v Speaker 1>the mirror and I read this text message and it says, oh.

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<v Speaker 2>My god, you have to say you have the message.

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<v Speaker 1>Good morning ladies. And it's with the emoji with like

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<v Speaker 1>the too happy hands. So I'm like, hey, girl, like.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, hand hands.

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<v Speaker 1>It's on my heart to reach out to you both

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<v Speaker 1>and encourage you to schedule your mammograms if you haven't already.

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<v Speaker 1>I do not fit the bill, but sadly, I've been

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<v Speaker 1>diagnosed with stage two breast cancer. I'm fine mentally at peace.

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<v Speaker 1>Q tears okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I'm fine, I promise, I'm fine.

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<v Speaker 1>Tears Okay, So I gather myself, so I can see again,

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<v Speaker 1>because at this point I'm literally in tears. The original

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<v Speaker 1>medical professional told me that I wasn't that that I was.

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<v Speaker 1>What I was feeling wasn't cancer because according to the

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<v Speaker 1>book I it did not fit. I thank God for

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<v Speaker 1>di sermon and obedience. I question everyone for a reason.

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<v Speaker 1>She was annoyed by my questioning her authority and I

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<v Speaker 1>went to get a mammigrant against her recommendation. I have

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<v Speaker 1>a whole story to tell in due time. Treatment is

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<v Speaker 1>moving quickly, miseectomies are scheduled. Janelle, I'm still your model,

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<v Speaker 1>because Janelle had a class coming up. I love you both,

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<v Speaker 1>tell Sakari and everyone you know, every woman you care

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<v Speaker 1>about to do it continuing to listen to the inner

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<v Speaker 1>voice God has given us. For me, it was just

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<v Speaker 1>the casual way that Grace in this group chat just

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<v Speaker 1>dropped a bomb on us, so casually, without any kind

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<v Speaker 1>of warning, and like, hey, good morning, good morning, jazz hands.

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<v Speaker 1>It's Monday, and I'll never forget that moment and how

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<v Speaker 1>I felt.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's almost making me choke up now. Oh oh,

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<v Speaker 2>she's trying to make me cry. We need tissues. Yeah, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>So that's my story.

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<v Speaker 1>Time income the tissues with Matt.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you, I tried it, indeed. So we're gonna take.

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<v Speaker 5>A quick break so I can gather myself, Lord, because

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<v Speaker 5>I'm having a feeling that this episode is, oh Lord,

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<v Speaker 5>one of those, but I think it's very necessary and

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<v Speaker 5>I'm so happy that you're here with me today.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's not do this.

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<v Speaker 4>And uh yeah, we're gonna get into karaoke town.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's brighten the mood.

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<v Speaker 1>You better have a good song today, Grace, because I

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<v Speaker 1>cannot cry this whole episode. So Lincoln Park, all right, Grace,

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<v Speaker 1>you got something good for me? Because the only song

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<v Speaker 1>that came to mind, of course, was Amazing Grace, but

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<v Speaker 1>that was just so somber and solemn, and I just can't.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like we need something upbeat. Well, I mean

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<v Speaker 2>in the God, now that I think about it, in

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<v Speaker 2>the end, Lincoln Park, I mean it's upbeat sounding, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>so we don't have to really listen to the words.

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<v Speaker 2>Go ahead now.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I said, I was telling her pre show, the

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<v Speaker 1>only Lincoln Park song I know is the one with

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<v Speaker 1>jay Z.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you want to or I can't? I can't And

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<v Speaker 2>she's like, yeah, all the black people know. That's what

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like. Yeah, that's me. Okay, we might have to

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<v Speaker 2>skip the Lincoln Park. I was just thinking about the lyrics.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, the lyrics don't work. I mean, we're gonna cry. Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>we're gonna cry. Yeah. Those songs are quite heavy. Are

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<v Speaker 2>they heavy?

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<v Speaker 1>But if it's on your heart, go ahead and do

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<v Speaker 1>your think.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, we're gonna do it this way. Okay. I tried

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<v Speaker 2>so hard, but god, so far. Oh I do know

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<v Speaker 2>this song in the end, Yes, it doesn't really matter,

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<v Speaker 2>I know, but it does matter. Yeah, it does matter.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, that's the song I want to sing.

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<v Speaker 1>You want to even say the lyrics. You can't even

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<v Speaker 1>say the lyrics. You don't even have to sing it. Girl,

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<v Speaker 1>that was my get right there, do it?

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<v Speaker 2>I already did it. Do it again, Okay, run it back,

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<v Speaker 2>because yeah, I tried so hard and got so far,

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<v Speaker 2>but in the end it didn't even matter. Okay I

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<v Speaker 2>had to fall to lose it all. But in the

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<v Speaker 2>end it doesn't even matter. Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>It's actually really deep when you think about you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm thinking about the tempo of the song and

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<v Speaker 1>like the upbeatness of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, And I'm like, damn, that was pretty deep.

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<v Speaker 1>In the end, it didn't really matter. I'm fortunate because

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<v Speaker 1>he ended up committing suicide. He did, all right, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, Grace.

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<v Speaker 2>Can heard it too, as the hell with it?

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<v Speaker 1>Like that?

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<v Speaker 2>All right now, So even back to our text, like

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<v Speaker 2>that's how I deal with a bad situation, Yeah, throwing

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<v Speaker 2>dark humor. I noticed that.

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<v Speaker 1>I noticed that your career sarcasm is actually one of

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<v Speaker 1>the things I love about you.

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<v Speaker 4>So all right, let's take a break to recover from

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<v Speaker 4>that whole thing in the beginning of the show, and

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<v Speaker 4>we're gonna come back and we're gonna dive back into

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<v Speaker 4>story time and we're gonna talk more with Grace about

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<v Speaker 4>breast cancer awareness, how she found out, and what her

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<v Speaker 4>story is looking like right now.

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<v Speaker 2>So stick around, all right. So, as I passed tissue out.

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<v Speaker 1>We passed the it's almost like passing the offering plate.

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna pass the tissue box around because I just

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<v Speaker 1>anticipate that as we aim to in this episode, bring awareness,

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<v Speaker 1>educate people, the people who don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Think like it can happen to me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm still that actually, yeah, yeah, And I can imagine

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<v Speaker 1>I still look at you and I'm like, I can't

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<v Speaker 1>believe this is happening.

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<v Speaker 2>I saw you at Matt's wedding.

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<v Speaker 1>We had a moment, you know, we're bringing together with

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<v Speaker 1>every It was just It's just one of those situations.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I said in my sound by earlier, that when

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<v Speaker 1>it affects someone who you love, it literally affects you

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<v Speaker 1>as well too. So going back to story time where

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<v Speaker 1>you sent out this text message to Janelle, and I

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<v Speaker 1>take us back to the moment that you found out

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<v Speaker 1>what what's your story here? You know you felt a lump,

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<v Speaker 1>something didn't feel right, and God led you to am

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<v Speaker 1>my friend.

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<v Speaker 2>So I want to say back in November, I remember

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<v Speaker 2>laying in the bed at night and I tell my husband,

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<v Speaker 2>I said, Babe, I feel something and I feel everything.

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<v Speaker 2>But He's like, here we go, what now, hypochondriac? And

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, no, I feel something in my breast. And

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<v Speaker 2>breasts are lumpy from you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Especially post breastfeeding like my I remember I had to

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<v Speaker 1>get a lump checked in my armpit right because my

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<v Speaker 1>lymph nodes got swolen after each baby, breastfeeding each so

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<v Speaker 1>it's hard to decipher what's what.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I remember feeling the lump, thinking okay, well,

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<v Speaker 2>it's a lump and it's soft, and it's like you

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<v Speaker 2>can move it, but again I don't. I don't do

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<v Speaker 2>that to other women. So I don't know what's there,

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<v Speaker 2>what's supposed to be there, what's not. So he feels

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<v Speaker 2>it too, and he's like, well, go to the hospital,

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<v Speaker 2>like you know, go to your doctor.

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<v Speaker 1>And you would say the size of a green grape.

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<v Speaker 2>The big one got you. And so go to bed.

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<v Speaker 2>The next day or so or whenever. A mutual friend

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<v Speaker 2>had passed from breast cancer and she's young kids, twin

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<v Speaker 2>boys and another I think all under five, and her

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<v Speaker 2>issue was she didn't it had come back. But long

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<v Speaker 2>story short, she passed and I remember texting my friend,

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<v Speaker 2>who is my gynecologist. I text her, I'm like, I

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<v Speaker 2>need a Mam Graham and she was like why you know,

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<v Speaker 2>because I'm the I'm the one that's like I need this.

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<v Speaker 2>I need an am. I right A pets can't I

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<v Speaker 2>need my sister?

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<v Speaker 1>And I now I'm like, oh, you're a nurse practitioner,

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<v Speaker 1>Now you got that right, Okay, sis, let me get

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<v Speaker 1>some ibuprof an eight hundred to stand by, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>And I just.

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<v Speaker 2>Like to check. I like to check things. And my

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<v Speaker 2>husband's like, you like to freak yourself out pretty much.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like, no, I like to know, low key control freak.

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<v Speaker 2>Same and I don't even know what's going on. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that way I can behead exactly. Yeah. And so I

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<v Speaker 2>text her. She's like, why you know at this time,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm thirty seven and I think the age people start

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<v Speaker 2>to check or they tell you to check. It's forty

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<v Speaker 2>forty one. Yeah, yeah, I'm I turned forty December fifth.

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<v Speaker 1>My annual was January fifth, and she was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>you get to get your you to get your first man,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm glad she has my scheduled three weeks.

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<v Speaker 2>What they scheduled to out that far? Yeah, okay, we're

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<v Speaker 2>gonna talk about it, okay, right, So I text her

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<v Speaker 2>Texas Change I I think I did. I called the

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<v Speaker 2>office to get uh seen and because you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>just went to do everything, and she could not see

0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:31.280
<v Speaker 2>me because her mother was going through something. So she

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<v Speaker 2>went to be with her mom, rightfully, So I'm glad

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<v Speaker 2>she did. She ended up passing and so I expected

0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:41.920
<v Speaker 2>her to be out of office. So her pa saw

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<v Speaker 2>me instead and we were you know, black woman young.

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<v Speaker 2>We were talking Kei king and she feels she does

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<v Speaker 2>a physical and she's feeling and she feels what I

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<v Speaker 2>was telling her. And she's like, well, you know, asking

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<v Speaker 2>me the book questions because they do go by the

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<v Speaker 2>book and the questions, you know, is it painful? Is

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<v Speaker 2>it you know, does it move? So it moves? It

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<v Speaker 2>was moving, and it was a very dull pain. It

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't painful, but it was like a dull numb pain

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<v Speaker 2>if you will, that I would feel around my menstrel time.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like aching, like a throbbing or something very.

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<v Speaker 2>Very and so I had to let her know. She

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<v Speaker 2>was like, well, you know, cancer is not painful, so

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<v Speaker 2>you know, and I think she was excited that all

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<v Speaker 2>these things according to the book. You know, she was

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<v Speaker 2>happy that it's not cancer according to the book.

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<v Speaker 1>And also maybe trying to temper your your emotion, right,

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<v Speaker 1>because you feel something like that so naturally, especially being

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<v Speaker 1>a hypoconject, which I understand because I kind of share

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<v Speaker 1>the same sentiment.

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<v Speaker 2>That's where your mind goes, right, Yeah, So then I

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<v Speaker 2>get it, and that's why you know, I'm not upset

0:12:57.400 --> 0:13:01.640
<v Speaker 2>with her, Like I get what she was doing, but

0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:05.719
<v Speaker 2>something told me like, mmm, it keeps coming to me

0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.439
<v Speaker 2>breast cancer, breast cancer and now I'm not trying to

0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:10.319
<v Speaker 2>wish it all myself, but at the same time, I

0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:13.719
<v Speaker 2>like to pay attention. And so I told her, I said, well,

0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:16.319
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to check you know. She's like, well, you

0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:19.800
<v Speaker 2>don't need to. You know, you're under the age the

0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.719
<v Speaker 2>all the things checklists. According to the book, this is

0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:28.319
<v Speaker 2>it's probably like a site fibro at noma, you know,

0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:34.199
<v Speaker 2>some fibrous tissue or vibrus and arsistic And she's like,

0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:35.360
<v Speaker 2>you don't need to. And I was like, well, I'm

0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:38.719
<v Speaker 2>still going to and I know, medical professor, y'all go

0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:39.160
<v Speaker 2>to school.

0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:41.839
<v Speaker 1>You read the book. Some of y'all go to school longer.

0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:45.360
<v Speaker 1>But she was a little annoyed by my persistence. Yes,

0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:50.880
<v Speaker 1>she was like questioning, questioning authority. Yeah, and she was like,

0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:53.320
<v Speaker 1>well you can you know, schedule one and we don't

0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:56.160
<v Speaker 1>do it here or something like that. But she was like,

0:13:56.240 --> 0:14:00.719
<v Speaker 1>do use this, yeah, basically right, get lost. So so

0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:03.679
<v Speaker 1>at that point, you again are just getting all of

0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:07.160
<v Speaker 1>these feelings signs. You're feeling like God is saying to

0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:09.679
<v Speaker 1>you like this is something more, this is something more,

0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:14.160
<v Speaker 1>And so you schedule the mammogramage. You're in the mammogram.

0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:14.800
<v Speaker 2>How does that go?

0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:15.200
<v Speaker 3>Well?

0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:18.640
<v Speaker 2>I schedule it Google where to Go because I'm like, okay,

0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:20.600
<v Speaker 2>what I'm I supposed to now? Google where to go?

0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:24.360
<v Speaker 2>This spot paid for a top spot on Google because

0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:28.880
<v Speaker 2>they popped up and I went to this imaging center.

0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:32.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna say their name went to this imaging imaging center.

0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:36.560
<v Speaker 2>Was not painful at all. She's mashed down, but it

0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:39.280
<v Speaker 2>wasn't painful. So I'm like, what are people tripping about? Right?

0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:41.800
<v Speaker 2>You know that it's painful. This was not painful. They

0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:46.800
<v Speaker 2>saw the lumps two and I only felt one, but

0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:50.720
<v Speaker 2>they saw two, so they said I needed a biopsy. Okay,

0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:54.760
<v Speaker 2>this place doesn't do their own biopsy. So long story short,

0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:58.440
<v Speaker 2>Maybe a month passed and my one of my really

0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:02.760
<v Speaker 2>good friends, she kept pushing me to call and get

0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:06.800
<v Speaker 2>this biopsy and I wouldn't. I was busy, and they

0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.800
<v Speaker 2>put in an order for biopsy, but they didn't do

0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:16.560
<v Speaker 2>it themselves. So again, I finally got around to calling

0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:18.840
<v Speaker 2>a place that did biopsies.

0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:22.320
<v Speaker 1>So pretty much, you're doing all the leg worksposed to

0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:26.440
<v Speaker 1>support it in the price once you told the PA

0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.440
<v Speaker 1>that you were gonna investigate further with the mammogram.

0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:32.400
<v Speaker 2>So I'm on my own googling a place again. This

0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:39.280
<v Speaker 2>place pops up first spot on Google and they put

0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:42.840
<v Speaker 2>in an order. I called around because now I'm like, okay,

0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:44.480
<v Speaker 2>well where am I supposed to go for that? And

0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:47.680
<v Speaker 2>they were like, well, you can google places to do biopsies.

0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:49.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh, so you just.

0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:51.560
<v Speaker 1>Google and the random place it's gonna cut you open ink,

0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:52.520
<v Speaker 1>take out stuff.

0:15:53.280 --> 0:16:01.640
<v Speaker 2>This is crazy. Ends ended up north Side, going to

0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:05.560
<v Speaker 2>north Side and called them. They never got the images

0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:09.040
<v Speaker 2>from the place, and I'm like, what are you talking about?

0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:12.600
<v Speaker 2>So I'm fishing around looking for where this place is.

0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:14.560
<v Speaker 2>How come they haven't sent I need to come in

0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:16.400
<v Speaker 2>and sign a consent for him to release and I'm

0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:20.240
<v Speaker 2>like what, Okay, long story short, I had to do

0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:25.240
<v Speaker 2>another mammogram from north Side. Now this hurt and outside.

0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.600
<v Speaker 2>So it was a clear difference. First of all, like

0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:30.040
<v Speaker 2>they just did not like the other images, so they

0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:33.760
<v Speaker 2>did their own. They do biopsies as well. Schedule a

0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:38.880
<v Speaker 2>biopsy the next few days. Did that. Three days later,

0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.520
<v Speaker 2>my results came in and it went to my friend first,

0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:45.560
<v Speaker 2>who's my OB and she got it. First of all,

0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:48.440
<v Speaker 2>another doctor called me I hadn't even gotten the news.

0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:49.000
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:52.080
<v Speaker 2>And she called me and she was like, I just

0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:54.680
<v Speaker 2>got your news. I'm so sorry. Do you want to

0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:56.240
<v Speaker 2>when do you want to come in? And I'm like,

0:16:56.240 --> 0:16:58.960
<v Speaker 2>what are you talking about? Broken to you? Yes, I'm

0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.480
<v Speaker 2>my lady yell. Didn't talk about my number?

0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:01.800
<v Speaker 5>Right?

0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:03.640
<v Speaker 1>Was there?

0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:05.200
<v Speaker 2>Not like a way we're going to break this kind

0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:09.399
<v Speaker 2>of So she apologized she thought I had already gotten

0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.520
<v Speaker 2>the news. I'm like, no, ma'am, like I don't. First

0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:13.960
<v Speaker 2>of all, you're not gonna put that on me. I

0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:18.080
<v Speaker 2>don't have cancer, And turned out it did men do.

0:17:18.920 --> 0:17:23.280
<v Speaker 2>And so my friend ends up calling explaining what they found.

0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:30.879
<v Speaker 2>I automatically hit up my doctor. Actually, no, doctor didn't

0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:35.159
<v Speaker 2>like her vibe. I'm big on vibes and energy and

0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:43.560
<v Speaker 2>see another doctor loved instantly. And everything was happening so fast,

0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:46.399
<v Speaker 2>And I felt like it's because my husband got this

0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:51.159
<v Speaker 2>great ass insurance. Yes, like I've known such people in

0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:55.600
<v Speaker 2>situations where months out for an appointment for this, for this,

0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:58.000
<v Speaker 2>for that, and everything was like back to back day

0:17:58.000 --> 0:17:58.600
<v Speaker 2>after another.

0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:02.480
<v Speaker 1>So that's an addedly yes to the story, or to

0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:05.479
<v Speaker 1>just the healthcare system that is all of that existing

0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:09.080
<v Speaker 1>in America. So you see the hierarchy in Oh, yeah,

0:18:09.119 --> 0:18:11.080
<v Speaker 1>you're treated based off of the type of insurance you have.

0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:14.639
<v Speaker 2>I have been sharingty you have, I mean knocking everything

0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:17.400
<v Speaker 2>out like in days where people are like that's so rare,

0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:19.800
<v Speaker 2>like they're seeing you like this, and I'm like, yeah.

0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:21.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I remember talking to you when you were like, yeah,

0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:24.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm getting this doneline by Monday, this by tesday, Friday,

0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:24.720
<v Speaker 1>and you're done.

0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:26.879
<v Speaker 2>Even my MRI, which they don't usually do in my

0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:31.680
<v Speaker 2>rides on Sundays, I have a Sunday appointment. Not that happened. Yeah, okay,

0:18:31.720 --> 0:18:35.520
<v Speaker 2>I'll take it. But it made me realize. I know

0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:41.000
<v Speaker 2>people who get pushed out weeks months and cancer depending

0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:45.560
<v Speaker 2>on how aggressive it's spreading fast right so by you know,

0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:47.800
<v Speaker 2>they could have been stage zero, one or two by

0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:51.600
<v Speaker 2>the time everything gets situated and seen, their stage three,

0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:54.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, or four, depending on how aggressive it is,

0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:58.919
<v Speaker 2>how aggressive it is. And that's another topic. This healthcare system.

0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:03.040
<v Speaker 2>We're not gonna go I know, layered, very LAPI theorists.

0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:09.119
<v Speaker 2>I mean, its like, but so saw everything breast doctor,

0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:14.080
<v Speaker 2>first MRI, second genetics test. They did the highest testing,

0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:18.159
<v Speaker 2>which is eighty five genes all negative for mutations, So

0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:20.760
<v Speaker 2>it's like where did this cancer come from? Right? And

0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:28.680
<v Speaker 2>even seeing my reconstructive doctor, that took another month, or

0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:31.280
<v Speaker 2>was supposed to take another month to handle that. And

0:19:31.680 --> 0:19:33.240
<v Speaker 2>she came back in the room and she was like, well,

0:19:33.560 --> 0:19:35.639
<v Speaker 2>someone just canceled for the twenty fifth do you want it?

0:19:35.880 --> 0:19:37.960
<v Speaker 2>This was like the week before, like hell yeah, and

0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:39.280
<v Speaker 2>oh yeah, yeah, I'll you know.

0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So the course of action now is is what

0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:46.720
<v Speaker 1>you have stage two cancers in one.

0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:49.000
<v Speaker 2>Of it's in one. I was gonna cut both off

0:19:49.080 --> 0:19:52.400
<v Speaker 2>regardless because I wasn't gonna be uneven, right And after

0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:55.680
<v Speaker 2>the MRI, my breast doctor saw that I had a

0:19:55.920 --> 0:20:00.800
<v Speaker 2>six millimeter tumor in the left as well. Wow, and

0:20:00.920 --> 0:20:02.159
<v Speaker 2>she was a good thing, you can cut them off,

0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:06.399
<v Speaker 2>because here we go, gotcha. It just made sense to

0:20:06.440 --> 0:20:08.840
<v Speaker 2>me because I'm like, if it's in one, it's possibly

0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:10.960
<v Speaker 2>could you know? And I know it's not always like that,

0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:15.719
<v Speaker 2>but to me, let's cut cut it out control, right, right?

0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:21.000
<v Speaker 1>So you get the news, of course, kind of rig

0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:24.399
<v Speaker 1>them around because someone called first, then your obguin calls.

0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:27.399
<v Speaker 1>How do you break the news to your family because

0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:30.479
<v Speaker 1>now this is a journey that you're on, not alone,

0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:32.920
<v Speaker 1>you have a husband, you have two children, a host

0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:36.879
<v Speaker 1>of family and friends. So in your mind, how do

0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:39.440
<v Speaker 1>do you brace to tell the family or in true

0:20:39.520 --> 0:20:44.760
<v Speaker 1>grace form, we kind of just like throw out their casualty.

0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:48.919
<v Speaker 1>What was your husband's feeling? I guess with you were

0:20:48.960 --> 0:20:50.800
<v Speaker 1>going into this when you finally got the.

0:20:50.840 --> 0:20:54.520
<v Speaker 2>News with you uh he instantly I could tell. And

0:20:54.680 --> 0:21:01.040
<v Speaker 2>men like to show that they are, you know, your rock,

0:21:01.680 --> 0:21:05.520
<v Speaker 2>which is great of course, put together, put together, always

0:21:05.720 --> 0:21:09.240
<v Speaker 2>under control. And I could see his body shift and

0:21:10.040 --> 0:21:11.960
<v Speaker 2>his face was you know, putting on the front, but

0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:14.400
<v Speaker 2>I could see his body shift. So he was hurt

0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:18.000
<v Speaker 2>and scared, and he was like, cut it out, cut

0:21:18.080 --> 0:21:19.840
<v Speaker 2>it out, you know, like cut off the breast, cut

0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:24.720
<v Speaker 2>everything off. And and I knew at that moment I

0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:29.360
<v Speaker 2>wasn't gonna tell anyone else, and especially my family. Yeah,

0:21:29.440 --> 0:21:35.359
<v Speaker 2>because Nigerians, I mean all the native doctors were called

0:21:35.680 --> 0:21:42.800
<v Speaker 2>right right right. I don't know, I don't know about

0:21:42.840 --> 0:21:45.800
<v Speaker 2>Nigerian culture, but I'll listen ya know what it is,

0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:50.000
<v Speaker 2>right right? The native doctors were called and from over

0:21:50.280 --> 0:21:53.240
<v Speaker 2>across the sea, and my mom was like, don't cut

0:21:53.280 --> 0:21:56.000
<v Speaker 2>your breast off. The doctors have been called. They said

0:21:56.040 --> 0:21:59.160
<v Speaker 2>they can take the thing away, you'll never see it again.

0:21:59.440 --> 0:22:02.640
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, who, like you said, mommy, please don't

0:22:02.680 --> 0:22:05.720
<v Speaker 2>pay anybody else, Like, oh my goodness, giving people your

0:22:05.760 --> 0:22:09.240
<v Speaker 2>heart on money. Yes, I haven't even spoken to these people, like,

0:22:09.560 --> 0:22:12.560
<v Speaker 2>don't do it right, right, And I said, I'm cutting

0:22:12.560 --> 0:22:14.520
<v Speaker 2>them off, Like we've just talked about it already. At

0:22:14.560 --> 0:22:14.840
<v Speaker 2>that point.

0:22:15.280 --> 0:22:17.280
<v Speaker 1>It was just a hard decision that you made with you, well,

0:22:17.320 --> 0:22:19.560
<v Speaker 1>with you and your husband. Yeah, yeah, well first and

0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:21.480
<v Speaker 1>then of course letting your husband know what the plan was,

0:22:21.640 --> 0:22:21.879
<v Speaker 1>what the.

0:22:21.920 --> 0:22:25.480
<v Speaker 2>Plan was, and I still hadn't told anyone.

0:22:26.280 --> 0:22:29.840
<v Speaker 1>So just jumping into some Saxon stats because we were

0:22:29.880 --> 0:22:32.119
<v Speaker 1>doing some just research and stuff, just to see what

0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:34.439
<v Speaker 1>things are looking like now in twenty twenty four, because

0:22:35.000 --> 0:22:38.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, breast cancer of course has been around forever, right,

0:22:38.840 --> 0:22:41.960
<v Speaker 1>It's something that always unfortunately pops up. You know. October

0:22:42.119 --> 0:22:45.600
<v Speaker 1>is Breast cancer Awareness Month. Some stats we had recently

0:22:45.680 --> 0:22:48.520
<v Speaker 1>for twenty twenty four, The American Cancer Society estimates that

0:22:48.640 --> 0:22:54.000
<v Speaker 1>more than three hundred and ten thousand plus new cases

0:22:54.119 --> 0:22:58.320
<v Speaker 1>of invasive breast cancer and fifty six thousand new cases

0:22:58.440 --> 0:23:02.080
<v Speaker 1>of ductyl carcinoma in stage one breast cancer will be

0:23:02.160 --> 0:23:03.879
<v Speaker 1>diagnosed in women in the US.

0:23:04.440 --> 0:23:05.399
<v Speaker 2>It's crazy, that's.

0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:08.119
<v Speaker 1>Crazy, and we're just in may right, things to improve

0:23:08.200 --> 0:23:13.000
<v Speaker 1>therapies and early detection, breast cancer is increasingly treatable. Despite

0:23:13.040 --> 0:23:15.560
<v Speaker 1>these improvements, breast cancer is now the leading cause of

0:23:15.680 --> 0:23:19.160
<v Speaker 1>cancer death among Black women, according to a new report

0:23:19.240 --> 0:23:21.840
<v Speaker 1>by the American Cancer Society, and black women are now

0:23:21.960 --> 0:23:24.280
<v Speaker 1>forty one percent more likely to die from breast cancer

0:23:24.359 --> 0:23:27.840
<v Speaker 1>than white women. Trying to take us out, despite but

0:23:28.119 --> 0:23:30.960
<v Speaker 1>despite the lower risk of being diagnosed for the disease.

0:23:31.480 --> 0:23:31.680
<v Speaker 2>Right.

0:23:32.560 --> 0:23:34.800
<v Speaker 1>This is partly because Black women are more likely to

0:23:34.880 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 1>be diagnosed with breast cancer at a later stage when

0:23:37.920 --> 0:23:39.520
<v Speaker 1>it is harder to treat.

0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:41.879
<v Speaker 2>Gee, I when do I Let's think about some of.

0:23:41.880 --> 0:23:44.200
<v Speaker 1>The things that account for these disparities, right, we have

0:23:44.240 --> 0:23:46.320
<v Speaker 1>Black women who are statistically.

0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:51.199
<v Speaker 2>More likely serious topic And I'm laughing, no, And.

0:23:51.240 --> 0:23:55.840
<v Speaker 1>I know to anycent grace, it's okay, because I know, like,

0:23:55.960 --> 0:23:59.040
<v Speaker 1>in a sense, it's how you deal, right, Yes, it's

0:23:59.080 --> 0:24:01.800
<v Speaker 1>how you deal. And I know that about you, yes,

0:24:02.280 --> 0:24:06.359
<v Speaker 1>And I've learned that about you right, right, And sometimes

0:24:06.440 --> 0:24:08.600
<v Speaker 1>you have to laugh so that you don't cry exactly,

0:24:08.960 --> 0:24:11.760
<v Speaker 1>And I get it, trust me, I understand.

0:24:11.840 --> 0:24:14.280
<v Speaker 2>Don't worry here. Oh yeah, okay.

0:24:14.680 --> 0:24:19.959
<v Speaker 1>Black women are statistically more likely to have diabetes, heart disease,

0:24:20.119 --> 0:24:24.320
<v Speaker 1>and obesity, and are less likely to breastfeed after childbirth birth,

0:24:24.400 --> 0:24:26.920
<v Speaker 1>which are all risk factors for breast cancer. Which is

0:24:27.280 --> 0:24:28.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure I hear it. That is because I

0:24:28.800 --> 0:24:31.520
<v Speaker 1>know every Black mam I know has don't know, I

0:24:31.600 --> 0:24:34.600
<v Speaker 1>probably know maybe one who hasn't who hasn't. Right, exactly

0:24:37.600 --> 0:24:39.840
<v Speaker 1>when I met Grace, Grace came into my makeup for

0:24:39.920 --> 0:24:43.960
<v Speaker 1>the first time when she was two weeks postpartum and

0:24:44.960 --> 0:24:46.359
<v Speaker 1>made a commitment to me to come here.

0:24:46.440 --> 0:24:48.280
<v Speaker 2>And I said, girl, you had the baby how long ago?

0:24:48.640 --> 0:24:50.520
<v Speaker 2>Seven days? I said, you better go sit down. You

0:24:50.560 --> 0:24:52.359
<v Speaker 2>know you're Nigeria. And mom would have been like, girl,

0:24:52.840 --> 0:24:56.160
<v Speaker 2>where are you going? But but yeah, so there.

0:24:57.000 --> 0:24:59.600
<v Speaker 1>And they're also more likely than there than white counterparts

0:24:59.680 --> 0:25:02.520
<v Speaker 1>to have with inadequate health insurance or access to health

0:25:02.560 --> 0:25:06.040
<v Speaker 1>care facilities, which may affect screening, follow up care, and

0:25:06.320 --> 0:25:09.000
<v Speaker 1>the completion of therapy, which is essentially what you were

0:25:09.080 --> 0:25:12.760
<v Speaker 1>experiencing in your journey to an extent on what saved

0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:14.960
<v Speaker 1>you was the fact that your husband did have really

0:25:15.000 --> 0:25:20.159
<v Speaker 1>good insurance. Black women are also disproportionately affected more by

0:25:20.280 --> 0:25:25.200
<v Speaker 1>aggressive subtypes such as triple negative breast cancer and inflammatory

0:25:25.240 --> 0:25:27.280
<v Speaker 1>breast cancer, and they're more likely to be diagnosed at

0:25:27.320 --> 0:25:30.040
<v Speaker 1>younger ages and more advanced stages of cancer. I have

0:25:30.119 --> 0:25:34.520
<v Speaker 1>a cousin thirty years old diagnosed with a very aggressive

0:25:34.560 --> 0:25:39.320
<v Speaker 1>breast cancer again, had to have both breasts removed and

0:25:39.400 --> 0:25:42.440
<v Speaker 1>at thirty. At thirty, we just celebrated her one year

0:25:42.680 --> 0:25:46.120
<v Speaker 1>cancer free. Wow anniversaries, So shout out to my cousin

0:25:46.200 --> 0:25:48.880
<v Speaker 1>Shane for that. But it's just one of those things

0:25:48.920 --> 0:25:51.320
<v Speaker 1>where you just never think is going to be you.

0:25:51.880 --> 0:25:55.000
<v Speaker 1>So what were you feeling in that moment when you.

0:25:55.080 --> 0:25:55.600
<v Speaker 2>Got the call?

0:25:55.720 --> 0:25:58.480
<v Speaker 1>How did you sit in that after you received the

0:25:58.520 --> 0:26:00.520
<v Speaker 1>phone call from I guess the first doctor and then

0:26:00.560 --> 0:26:02.680
<v Speaker 1>eventually your friend who is your obgu I n Like,

0:26:02.760 --> 0:26:05.000
<v Speaker 1>What's what goes through your mind in that moment?

0:26:05.119 --> 0:26:07.960
<v Speaker 2>Is it like your life flashes before your eyes? Is

0:26:08.040 --> 0:26:10.480
<v Speaker 2>it I'm going to fight? What do you feel?

0:26:10.480 --> 0:26:13.919
<v Speaker 1>Because I'm sure there was a rollercoaster of emotions. Well,

0:26:14.160 --> 0:26:16.800
<v Speaker 1>when the first doctor called, I was upset because who

0:26:16.800 --> 0:26:19.080
<v Speaker 1>are you calling? R Like I don't know more angry? Yeah,

0:26:19.240 --> 0:26:23.479
<v Speaker 1>and why would you speak that on me? That's how

0:26:23.480 --> 0:26:25.640
<v Speaker 1>I felt. It was earlier in the day. By the way,

0:26:26.080 --> 0:26:28.639
<v Speaker 1>the same day and my friend, my friend ended up

0:26:28.720 --> 0:26:31.160
<v Speaker 1>texting me. She's like she text me, she said, hey,

0:26:31.440 --> 0:26:35.720
<v Speaker 1>what you doing. And I was like, oh shit, oh yeah.

0:26:36.359 --> 0:26:41.160
<v Speaker 2>And so she calls and she tells me and I'm

0:26:41.240 --> 0:26:44.160
<v Speaker 2>like okay, and she's like, well, you're taking it well,

0:26:44.680 --> 0:26:50.119
<v Speaker 2>and I said yeah. At that moment, I had no

0:26:50.640 --> 0:26:54.120
<v Speaker 2>option not to, like, so you're more of a practical

0:26:54.359 --> 0:26:56.000
<v Speaker 2>like this is what it is. This is what it is,

0:26:56.440 --> 0:27:01.680
<v Speaker 2>and emotions come after, gotcha, And and she was so shocked.

0:27:01.720 --> 0:27:03.399
<v Speaker 2>She was like and I was like, yeah, I mean

0:27:03.960 --> 0:27:06.600
<v Speaker 2>here we are, here, we are, So what's next, Like

0:27:06.760 --> 0:27:12.960
<v Speaker 2>what's the plan? And I think almost right then, I'm

0:27:13.000 --> 0:27:15.879
<v Speaker 2>a bea cup. So if they did a lumpectomy, I

0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:18.640
<v Speaker 2>will look crazy. So I knew automatically, like okay, I'm

0:27:18.640 --> 0:27:23.000
<v Speaker 2>cutting my breast off and I don't know. I'm not

0:27:23.119 --> 0:27:26.480
<v Speaker 2>tied to them, so it didn't I didn't feel anything

0:27:26.480 --> 0:27:33.600
<v Speaker 2>about it, and I later that's how my company, my

0:27:33.960 --> 0:27:38.240
<v Speaker 2>nonprofit came about, just because like, I'm not attached to beauty,

0:27:38.320 --> 0:27:41.119
<v Speaker 2>but I do know from what I do being a

0:27:41.160 --> 0:27:43.880
<v Speaker 2>makeup artist, Like it's a thing like and it makes

0:27:43.920 --> 0:27:49.280
<v Speaker 2>people feel amazing, And in that moment, I automatically thought, Okay,

0:27:49.560 --> 0:27:52.920
<v Speaker 2>like if I at the time thinking of chemo and

0:27:52.960 --> 0:27:55.399
<v Speaker 2>all of that, if I need to do it, okay,

0:27:55.440 --> 0:27:58.080
<v Speaker 2>I'll put a wig on and draw my brows on,

0:27:58.440 --> 0:28:00.800
<v Speaker 2>like it's not a thing for me. So it just

0:28:00.880 --> 0:28:05.560
<v Speaker 2>didn't hit me in that moment, like, Okay, this is life.

0:28:05.760 --> 0:28:09.200
<v Speaker 1>Let's move So you're so it's interesting when I spoke

0:28:09.240 --> 0:28:11.080
<v Speaker 1>to you, you know a couple of times after that,

0:28:12.359 --> 0:28:14.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't remember if it was before or after your

0:28:14.119 --> 0:28:16.280
<v Speaker 1>cancer diagnosis, but you had called me and you said,

0:28:16.359 --> 0:28:19.280
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I need to do something, like there's

0:28:19.280 --> 0:28:23.560
<v Speaker 1>a business that's looming in my mind that I feel

0:28:23.600 --> 0:28:25.520
<v Speaker 1>like God is placing on my heart to do. And

0:28:25.680 --> 0:28:28.040
<v Speaker 1>what do you think about this? Was that before or after? That?

0:28:28.200 --> 0:28:30.639
<v Speaker 2>Was the before that? That was different? So it was

0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:32.400
<v Speaker 2>a different business that we were talking about.

0:28:32.880 --> 0:28:34.159
<v Speaker 1>And I thought about this as I knew you were

0:28:34.200 --> 0:28:36.000
<v Speaker 1>coming on, because I'm like, wow, I wonder when we

0:28:36.119 --> 0:28:38.160
<v Speaker 1>had that conversation and I was giving you some advice

0:28:38.240 --> 0:28:40.640
<v Speaker 1>about how I felt like you should approach that business,

0:28:41.400 --> 0:28:43.120
<v Speaker 1>and You're like, you know, God is just placing on

0:28:43.280 --> 0:28:45.320
<v Speaker 1>me to do this, and I just I think I

0:28:45.320 --> 0:28:47.840
<v Speaker 1>should start this business, and I'm like, girl, if you're

0:28:47.880 --> 0:28:48.560
<v Speaker 1>going to do it, do it.

0:28:49.560 --> 0:28:51.200
<v Speaker 2>And then cut to you get your.

0:28:51.120 --> 0:28:56.200
<v Speaker 1>Diagnosis, and then you said to me that business that

0:28:56.640 --> 0:29:00.320
<v Speaker 1>I think God wanted me to start, is that actually

0:29:00.480 --> 0:29:04.800
<v Speaker 1>a nonprofit where I would be working with women who

0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:08.360
<v Speaker 1>are cancers survivors are erecting or going through it to

0:29:08.640 --> 0:29:12.720
<v Speaker 1>make them feel like themselves again. So you can share

0:29:12.760 --> 0:29:15.280
<v Speaker 1>with me what that's looking like. So this is now propelled.

0:29:15.280 --> 0:29:17.200
<v Speaker 1>And the crazy part about this grace that I want

0:29:17.240 --> 0:29:21.320
<v Speaker 1>people to understand is that you're going through something where

0:29:22.280 --> 0:29:26.000
<v Speaker 1>it's so it's it's to so many people with it's devastating, right,

0:29:27.040 --> 0:29:29.560
<v Speaker 1>And I'm sure it is for you as you navigate

0:29:29.640 --> 0:29:32.280
<v Speaker 1>this and you're dealing with your emotions, but then you're

0:29:32.320 --> 0:29:34.880
<v Speaker 1>also thinking of how you can impact others through your

0:29:34.920 --> 0:29:37.880
<v Speaker 1>story and your journey that you're still so freshly going through.

0:29:38.040 --> 0:29:41.280
<v Speaker 2>Like you text me on April eighth, Yeah, surgery was

0:29:41.440 --> 0:29:44.840
<v Speaker 2>twenty fifth of April or was it of April? Right?

0:29:45.080 --> 0:29:47.800
<v Speaker 1>This is May now, so that you're literally fresh out

0:29:47.840 --> 0:29:50.080
<v Speaker 1>of surgery. I didn't even want to ask you to

0:29:50.160 --> 0:29:51.680
<v Speaker 1>come on to the show. Now. You were one of

0:29:51.720 --> 0:29:54.040
<v Speaker 1>the people who I eventually wanted to have on but

0:29:54.360 --> 0:29:57.080
<v Speaker 1>not like now, but nowcause you're a really in the

0:29:57.120 --> 0:29:59.040
<v Speaker 1>think of it. So I'm like, Grace is not going

0:29:59.080 --> 0:30:01.320
<v Speaker 1>to probably be in like a mental or emotional space

0:30:01.400 --> 0:30:04.600
<v Speaker 1>to want to talk about this now. But in the

0:30:04.720 --> 0:30:07.360
<v Speaker 1>process you're like, you know what, God, Like like God,

0:30:07.440 --> 0:30:07.760
<v Speaker 1>why me?

0:30:07.920 --> 0:30:09.800
<v Speaker 2>Why? Why me? Why now?

0:30:10.760 --> 0:30:14.520
<v Speaker 1>And it's just amazing to me that you're thinking of

0:30:14.600 --> 0:30:19.760
<v Speaker 1>everyone else as you're navigating such a devastating process.

0:30:20.160 --> 0:30:24.960
<v Speaker 2>I think that's the Aquarius humanitarian like like and I'm like,

0:30:25.120 --> 0:30:26.840
<v Speaker 2>what is that?

0:30:27.080 --> 0:30:29.320
<v Speaker 1>Like, w how does it what makes you feel like

0:30:29.520 --> 0:30:31.280
<v Speaker 1>this is the next step, like I need to do

0:30:31.400 --> 0:30:36.360
<v Speaker 1>this nonprofit and work with women simultaneously essentially right while

0:30:36.400 --> 0:30:39.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm going through this. I think that hits differently for

0:30:40.040 --> 0:30:42.840
<v Speaker 1>women who are survivors or going through the process. It's like,

0:30:42.880 --> 0:30:45.600
<v Speaker 1>here's someone who wants to help to make me feel

0:30:45.680 --> 0:30:49.120
<v Speaker 1>like myself again, even if it's just a surface level

0:30:49.280 --> 0:30:52.560
<v Speaker 1>a brow or you know, a lash or something. You

0:30:52.640 --> 0:30:54.680
<v Speaker 1>know what put that on your heart in that moment

0:30:54.760 --> 0:30:55.440
<v Speaker 1>to do this now.

0:30:56.480 --> 0:30:59.760
<v Speaker 2>I think it was maybe after a week or two

0:31:00.360 --> 0:31:02.360
<v Speaker 2>and it just hit me like a ton of bricks

0:31:02.480 --> 0:31:05.280
<v Speaker 2>that this is what I'm supposed to do. I've been

0:31:05.400 --> 0:31:10.800
<v Speaker 2>wanting to teach women how to do makeup masterclass style,

0:31:11.040 --> 0:31:15.400
<v Speaker 2>but it just seemed impersonal, having a large class, and

0:31:16.320 --> 0:31:18.120
<v Speaker 2>I just didn't do it. I didn't do it. That's

0:31:18.240 --> 0:31:21.840
<v Speaker 2>just I didn't feel like that was my mission. And

0:31:22.160 --> 0:31:26.120
<v Speaker 2>I remember shortly after the diagnosis and it hit me

0:31:26.200 --> 0:31:29.080
<v Speaker 2>that I'm fine. I think I'm fine in that moment.

0:31:29.560 --> 0:31:32.800
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm fine because I'm not tied to beauty

0:31:32.960 --> 0:31:36.560
<v Speaker 2>like what we know, cancer and the chemo and your

0:31:36.880 --> 0:31:39.760
<v Speaker 2>brows and your lashes and your hair goes away. And

0:31:39.840 --> 0:31:43.880
<v Speaker 2>in that moment, I thought, Okay, what's next. But that's

0:31:43.920 --> 0:31:46.280
<v Speaker 2>how I think. And it's because I can get up

0:31:46.320 --> 0:31:49.000
<v Speaker 2>and put a brow on or a lash easy. And

0:31:49.480 --> 0:31:51.840
<v Speaker 2>I thought about and I was like, wow, what about

0:31:51.840 --> 0:31:54.400
<v Speaker 2>the women who can't, like women who come to us

0:31:54.480 --> 0:31:57.720
<v Speaker 2>for the birthday parties and weddings because you're everyday girl. Yeah,

0:31:58.360 --> 0:32:01.440
<v Speaker 2>you can do it because you want to. You know,

0:32:01.520 --> 0:32:04.080
<v Speaker 2>you're a former makeup artist, like you can. We know

0:32:04.200 --> 0:32:06.040
<v Speaker 2>how to do things. So that's how Grace and I

0:32:06.160 --> 0:32:08.360
<v Speaker 2>also bonded. We were former Mac girl.

0:32:11.760 --> 0:32:14.000
<v Speaker 1>MA was like the makeup authority and they still are,

0:32:14.280 --> 0:32:20.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, low key low key we said it, but.

0:32:20.960 --> 0:32:24.400
<v Speaker 2>So I thought about them, and I'm like, wow, this

0:32:24.600 --> 0:32:27.560
<v Speaker 2>must be devastating, because I felt like I was supposed

0:32:27.600 --> 0:32:30.520
<v Speaker 2>to be devastated by it and I wasn't. But it

0:32:30.680 --> 0:32:33.600
<v Speaker 2>is a real thing. And I said, that's what I'm

0:32:33.640 --> 0:32:35.800
<v Speaker 2>supposed to do, and I'm supposed to teach women how

0:32:35.880 --> 0:32:39.640
<v Speaker 2>to just look like themselves again. And I reached out

0:32:39.720 --> 0:32:46.239
<v Speaker 2>to some major brands, the big brands, and told them

0:32:46.280 --> 0:32:48.560
<v Speaker 2>my story and they were on board so to fill

0:32:48.840 --> 0:32:52.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, the goodie bags with And so you were

0:32:52.040 --> 0:32:54.600
<v Speaker 2>already like absolutely round running with business. It's not just

0:32:54.760 --> 0:32:57.600
<v Speaker 2>like places on my I'll figure it out, Like we

0:32:57.680 --> 0:33:00.720
<v Speaker 2>got goodie bags coming already. Girls. Okay, it's been improved

0:33:00.760 --> 0:33:02.960
<v Speaker 2>by the state, and like it's a thing.

0:33:04.360 --> 0:33:04.520
<v Speaker 1>Yet.

0:33:04.760 --> 0:33:10.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Survivor's Beauty, I love it dot org and you know,

0:33:10.880 --> 0:33:14.760
<v Speaker 2>hopefully by October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness month, will

0:33:15.320 --> 0:33:18.200
<v Speaker 2>we'll have our first masterclass Survivor's Beauty.

0:33:18.280 --> 0:33:22.640
<v Speaker 1>So that beauty, that's wow. Yeah, I'm proud of you, man,

0:33:22.720 --> 0:33:26.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm so proud of you. I feel like if I

0:33:26.360 --> 0:33:28.360
<v Speaker 1>were in your shoes, I probably like you'd be picking

0:33:28.400 --> 0:33:30.320
<v Speaker 1>me up off the floor. You know, there's just so

0:33:30.400 --> 0:33:33.640
<v Speaker 1>many ways and right until it happens, you know, God

0:33:33.680 --> 0:33:36.120
<v Speaker 1>forbid when it happens to someone like you, just don't

0:33:36.160 --> 0:33:38.920
<v Speaker 1>know how you're going to really exist in that space

0:33:39.120 --> 0:33:40.920
<v Speaker 1>because I just knew it wasn't you know. But it's

0:33:40.920 --> 0:33:43.680
<v Speaker 1>also a testament to your your faith in God and

0:33:44.040 --> 0:33:47.560
<v Speaker 1>listening and being still and you know, thinking what the

0:33:48.240 --> 0:33:51.520
<v Speaker 1>higher purpose is here? What's the positivity in it? Looking

0:33:51.560 --> 0:33:54.240
<v Speaker 1>on the bright side, Like, that's something that I really

0:33:54.280 --> 0:33:56.440
<v Speaker 1>applaud you for. And I think a lot of people

0:33:56.520 --> 0:33:58.600
<v Speaker 1>can take a page from your book. When you're hit

0:33:58.680 --> 0:34:02.480
<v Speaker 1>with something that completely can derail your entire life, how

0:34:02.520 --> 0:34:04.920
<v Speaker 1>do you maintain control of that? And like you said,

0:34:04.960 --> 0:34:07.280
<v Speaker 1>you're the person that likes the power and control. So

0:34:07.360 --> 0:34:09.920
<v Speaker 1>it's like, how do I this let cancer control me?

0:34:10.360 --> 0:34:13.480
<v Speaker 1>And that's how control this care You may cancer a bit.

0:34:13.600 --> 0:34:16.640
<v Speaker 1>She was like, listen, what you're not about to.

0:34:16.719 --> 0:34:19.440
<v Speaker 2>Do, okay, is disrupt my world at all.

0:34:19.719 --> 0:34:22.680
<v Speaker 1>What you're gonna do is make me impact this world absolutely.

0:34:22.800 --> 0:34:26.560
<v Speaker 2>That's the kicker. I literally said, like whoever put that

0:34:26.680 --> 0:34:30.960
<v Speaker 2>out there, put that on me the devil miss like periods. Okay,

0:34:31.320 --> 0:34:35.279
<v Speaker 2>it happened, cut it out, gone goodbye, and a new org.

0:34:35.640 --> 0:34:39.359
<v Speaker 1>That's it And it's only going to elevate your life,

0:34:39.680 --> 0:34:43.439
<v Speaker 1>your profile, what you do for others, and then also

0:34:43.600 --> 0:34:46.360
<v Speaker 1>elevate the lives of women who really really need that supporter,

0:34:46.400 --> 0:34:48.960
<v Speaker 1>because within that it's more than makeup. Right, Yeah, it's

0:34:48.960 --> 0:34:50.960
<v Speaker 1>going to be more than beauty. You have people who

0:34:51.000 --> 0:34:53.440
<v Speaker 1>can relate to a similar situation that you've been through,

0:34:53.520 --> 0:34:56.920
<v Speaker 1>that you're going through in itself. There's like a sisterhood,

0:34:56.960 --> 0:35:00.080
<v Speaker 1>there's a bond, there's's families that will be connected the

0:35:00.120 --> 0:35:01.279
<v Speaker 1>whole community around it.

0:35:01.640 --> 0:35:02.239
<v Speaker 2>And you have time.

0:35:02.280 --> 0:35:04.520
<v Speaker 1>I mean this is made by October. Oh my gosh,

0:35:04.600 --> 0:35:06.759
<v Speaker 1>I can't wait to help you spread the word and

0:35:06.840 --> 0:35:07.480
<v Speaker 1>get it out there.

0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:08.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm excited.

0:35:08.600 --> 0:35:11.000
<v Speaker 1>So I'm excited for that. I'm excited for that phase

0:35:11.239 --> 0:35:14.560
<v Speaker 1>of your journey. How do you or what makes you

0:35:14.680 --> 0:35:15.520
<v Speaker 1>feel supported?

0:35:15.640 --> 0:35:22.320
<v Speaker 2>Right now? Wow, everybody, I'm not gonna leave the tissues

0:35:22.320 --> 0:35:25.680
<v Speaker 2>on the floor, but I can pick them up now.

0:35:26.320 --> 0:35:30.400
<v Speaker 2>It's all right when I say, you really don't know

0:35:31.080 --> 0:35:34.919
<v Speaker 2>who your tribe is until not to say until bad

0:35:34.960 --> 0:35:38.279
<v Speaker 2>things happen, but people really show up, show up. Yeah,

0:35:38.880 --> 0:35:43.480
<v Speaker 2>and don't right, I was about to say, so what

0:35:43.680 --> 0:35:48.440
<v Speaker 2>makes me feel supported? Just people showing up? You know,

0:35:48.560 --> 0:35:53.920
<v Speaker 2>the text, the calls, the action, the actionable items. You know,

0:35:55.880 --> 0:35:59.359
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't be more grateful. So there's no one thing

0:35:59.480 --> 0:36:02.719
<v Speaker 2>that makes me feel supported. It's just that I feel it. Yeah,

0:36:03.080 --> 0:36:03.920
<v Speaker 2>from my community.

0:36:04.160 --> 0:36:09.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you being your line of work, you work

0:36:09.120 --> 0:36:09.640
<v Speaker 1>for yourself.

0:36:10.160 --> 0:36:14.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so that's an added layer of potential stress, you know,

0:36:17.360 --> 0:36:20.839
<v Speaker 2>not having not having income, being able to work.

0:36:21.520 --> 0:36:23.040
<v Speaker 1>I was about to come over there and beat you

0:36:23.160 --> 0:36:26.120
<v Speaker 1>down because I heard Grace was about to go do

0:36:26.200 --> 0:36:27.879
<v Speaker 1>makeup at some point, like a week or two out

0:36:27.920 --> 0:36:30.799
<v Speaker 1>of surgery, and I was like, girl, it was down.

0:36:31.160 --> 0:36:33.560
<v Speaker 2>But at the surgery was the twenty fifth, the client

0:36:33.760 --> 0:36:34.640
<v Speaker 2>was the twenty eighth.

0:36:36.000 --> 0:36:36.560
<v Speaker 1>Going, now.

0:36:38.680 --> 0:36:40.120
<v Speaker 2>Tell me what you thought, Grace, I can tell you

0:36:40.200 --> 0:36:42.400
<v Speaker 2>what it was. It wasn't what it wasn't going to be.

0:36:42.640 --> 0:36:45.560
<v Speaker 2>I thought that, okay because I had I had two

0:36:45.600 --> 0:36:48.799
<v Speaker 2>C sections and was a you know, hop back up.

0:36:48.880 --> 0:36:50.200
<v Speaker 1>Well, oh shoot, I didn't even realize you had to

0:36:50.200 --> 0:36:50.880
<v Speaker 1>see sechon you.

0:36:50.880 --> 0:36:53.719
<v Speaker 2>Came to see me. Yeah. But that's the thing I

0:36:53.960 --> 0:36:56.680
<v Speaker 2>was able to do that sperience. Yeah, I was able

0:36:56.719 --> 0:36:58.680
<v Speaker 2>to move, and so I was like, I'm gonna be

0:36:58.719 --> 0:37:04.120
<v Speaker 2>able to move. And it was the first night I

0:37:04.239 --> 0:37:08.040
<v Speaker 2>was like, I'm fine. I didn't even let my client know.

0:37:08.840 --> 0:37:11.080
<v Speaker 2>Finally let her know, and she's like, absolutely not. And

0:37:11.200 --> 0:37:13.240
<v Speaker 2>it's like, I'm going you won't have a makeup artists.

0:37:13.680 --> 0:37:15.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna do it. Like I'm not gonna send anybody.

0:37:15.760 --> 0:37:17.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm coming to do it. And she was like, I

0:37:17.520 --> 0:37:21.279
<v Speaker 2>can't fight you, but I'm telling you no. I said, well,

0:37:21.320 --> 0:37:23.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm just going to show up. Oh my gosh, it's

0:37:23.440 --> 0:37:25.359
<v Speaker 2>either that or you're not gonna have a makeup artist.

0:37:26.080 --> 0:37:29.600
<v Speaker 2>And Grace is a bully. Okay, she's a bully for

0:37:29.640 --> 0:37:34.279
<v Speaker 2>the people she loves. Absolutely, there we go and I

0:37:34.440 --> 0:37:36.760
<v Speaker 2>was fine, but I was on morphine. No, I didn't

0:37:37.040 --> 0:37:39.600
<v Speaker 2>realize what was in your body what was in my body.

0:37:39.800 --> 0:37:44.560
<v Speaker 2>And that night morphine was starting to leave. And the

0:37:44.719 --> 0:37:47.719
<v Speaker 2>next morning I was burning and I was like I

0:37:47.800 --> 0:37:49.840
<v Speaker 2>texted my client. I was like, I can't do it,

0:37:50.600 --> 0:37:52.840
<v Speaker 2>and she's like, it was the drugs. Liter said, it

0:37:52.880 --> 0:37:53.360
<v Speaker 2>was the drugs.

0:37:53.440 --> 0:37:53.800
<v Speaker 1>I get it.

0:37:54.320 --> 0:37:59.000
<v Speaker 2>And I sent her my good colleague Cherie, and I

0:37:59.120 --> 0:38:02.680
<v Speaker 2>was like, what was I think? Yeah, wow, trying to

0:38:02.719 --> 0:38:03.399
<v Speaker 2>show up. Wow.

0:38:03.520 --> 0:38:07.040
<v Speaker 1>But I understand because again, like you have you're in

0:38:07.120 --> 0:38:08.680
<v Speaker 1>a position now where I know you started to go

0:38:08.800 --> 0:38:10.920
<v Speaker 1>fund me page, and I know that took a lot

0:38:10.960 --> 0:38:12.440
<v Speaker 1>for you to do because you're like, I don't want

0:38:12.480 --> 0:38:15.239
<v Speaker 1>to have to ask for donations or anything like that's

0:38:15.320 --> 0:38:16.759
<v Speaker 1>just not And I feel the same way as an

0:38:16.840 --> 0:38:18.680
<v Speaker 1>entrepreneur when I was a makeup artist, and it's just

0:38:18.800 --> 0:38:21.280
<v Speaker 1>like we were hustling, Like you pick up the client.

0:38:21.360 --> 0:38:23.520
<v Speaker 1>You have your weddings, you have your people scheduled, you

0:38:23.640 --> 0:38:26.360
<v Speaker 1>have your everyday girls, you have your loyal clients. So

0:38:26.880 --> 0:38:30.440
<v Speaker 1>that's what you're accustomed to, and that's an added layer

0:38:31.040 --> 0:38:34.440
<v Speaker 1>that this cancer has affected for you. So I know

0:38:34.520 --> 0:38:36.600
<v Speaker 1>that you're aiming to get back into the space where

0:38:36.640 --> 0:38:40.320
<v Speaker 1>you're doing what you love and that you're meeting with

0:38:40.400 --> 0:38:42.759
<v Speaker 1>your clients again and you're making them feel beautiful again.

0:38:43.080 --> 0:38:47.440
<v Speaker 2>Little by little. Yeah, Yeah, I'm glad that you have

0:38:47.760 --> 0:38:50.920
<v Speaker 2>realized that this is a little by little little, a

0:38:51.000 --> 0:38:51.480
<v Speaker 2>little by.

0:38:51.480 --> 0:38:54.680
<v Speaker 1>Little kind of thing. What do you other black women

0:38:54.800 --> 0:38:56.799
<v Speaker 1>or just women in general to know about breast's health.

0:38:56.960 --> 0:38:58.759
<v Speaker 1>Now that you've been through this process.

0:38:58.680 --> 0:39:02.160
<v Speaker 2>It's real. Everything is is not real until it's real.

0:39:02.840 --> 0:39:06.000
<v Speaker 2>And now that I am on the it's real side,

0:39:07.080 --> 0:39:10.440
<v Speaker 2>Listen to your body. You may not know what something

0:39:10.560 --> 0:39:14.000
<v Speaker 2>is supposed to feel like, but go ask you know,

0:39:14.239 --> 0:39:16.360
<v Speaker 2>and even when you ask going they tell you textbook

0:39:16.440 --> 0:39:19.600
<v Speaker 2>why this may not be it. Listen to yourself. Listen

0:39:19.600 --> 0:39:20.000
<v Speaker 2>to yourself.

0:39:20.000 --> 0:39:22.040
<v Speaker 1>I always say people either say it's gut or God,

0:39:22.120 --> 0:39:24.600
<v Speaker 1>whatever you think it is, whatever, that that thing is

0:39:24.719 --> 0:39:27.399
<v Speaker 1>real in that in your in your chest, you steel

0:39:27.440 --> 0:39:29.560
<v Speaker 1>right there in your stomach that that's what we've listened to.

0:39:29.800 --> 0:39:32.400
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, And I'm so happy that you listened over and

0:39:32.560 --> 0:39:36.160
<v Speaker 2>over because it didn't just stop at checking. It was

0:39:36.200 --> 0:39:40.839
<v Speaker 2>a follow up. It was the on my own calling biopsy.

0:39:40.560 --> 0:39:42.719
<v Speaker 1>Location, and it was all the doors literally all the

0:39:42.760 --> 0:39:47.000
<v Speaker 1>door yeah that you needed in that moment and quickly expeditiously.

0:39:47.080 --> 0:39:47.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:39:47.280 --> 0:39:49.799
<v Speaker 1>I mean it was like, I know, I'm on the bed,

0:39:50.200 --> 0:39:52.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm a surgery, I'm here, what's next?

0:39:52.800 --> 0:39:56.440
<v Speaker 2>Sharing my story? Nonprofit? Like the chain reaction of things,

0:39:56.719 --> 0:39:58.640
<v Speaker 2>and that might be keeping me sane as well, like

0:39:58.800 --> 0:40:03.880
<v Speaker 2>not just sitting idle, yeah, but having my mind be occupied,

0:40:04.440 --> 0:40:04.600
<v Speaker 2>you know.

0:40:05.040 --> 0:40:08.200
<v Speaker 1>Shout out to you for being obedient to whatever your

0:40:08.239 --> 0:40:10.640
<v Speaker 1>purpose is or the purpose in this moment, because I

0:40:10.640 --> 0:40:12.560
<v Speaker 1>don't believe that this is the purpose for your life,

0:40:13.160 --> 0:40:15.480
<v Speaker 1>but in this space and in this moment, I am

0:40:15.600 --> 0:40:19.480
<v Speaker 1>grateful that you're listening to what God's placing in your

0:40:19.520 --> 0:40:22.160
<v Speaker 1>heart and just know that I'm here to support you

0:40:22.239 --> 0:40:26.160
<v Speaker 1>through this. I really wanted to share your story in

0:40:26.320 --> 0:40:29.000
<v Speaker 1>real time, and I'm grateful that you were willing to

0:40:29.080 --> 0:40:31.600
<v Speaker 1>do this in real time so people can just take

0:40:31.640 --> 0:40:34.360
<v Speaker 1>heed to it. If there's nothing that anyone takes away

0:40:34.360 --> 0:40:37.919
<v Speaker 1>from this our listeners today, whether it's a man, a woman,

0:40:38.480 --> 0:40:43.359
<v Speaker 1>somewhere in between, whoever you are, encourage someone you love

0:40:43.640 --> 0:40:45.680
<v Speaker 1>to go ahead and schedule.

0:40:45.280 --> 0:40:47.120
<v Speaker 2>That mammogram and they follow up of it.

0:40:47.719 --> 0:40:51.560
<v Speaker 1>Follow up and be diligent and listen to whatever God

0:40:51.680 --> 0:40:53.880
<v Speaker 1>is telling you to do or that gut feeling that

0:40:54.000 --> 0:40:57.640
<v Speaker 1>you have, because it can be a lifesaver. Absolutely, it

0:40:57.719 --> 0:41:00.279
<v Speaker 1>can be a lifesaver. All right, Grace, thank you for

0:41:00.360 --> 0:41:03.080
<v Speaker 1>sharing your story. Thank you to stick around a little

0:41:03.080 --> 0:41:05.680
<v Speaker 1>bit another portion of the show. We have this listener

0:41:05.760 --> 0:41:08.440
<v Speaker 1>letters so we can see what they're writing in about today,

0:41:08.760 --> 0:41:10.839
<v Speaker 1>you know, can lighten the mood, give a little two

0:41:10.960 --> 0:41:13.400
<v Speaker 1>cents depending on the story, child, because sometimes these stories

0:41:13.440 --> 0:41:13.920
<v Speaker 1>be moved.

0:41:13.960 --> 0:41:16.120
<v Speaker 2>They'll have you too, you know. But we're gonna take

0:41:16.120 --> 0:41:16.640
<v Speaker 2>a quick break.

0:41:16.719 --> 0:41:18.960
<v Speaker 1>We're gonna pay some bills, and then we're gonna get

0:41:19.000 --> 0:41:22.160
<v Speaker 1>back with Grace as we talk about more listener letters

0:41:22.360 --> 0:41:23.680
<v Speaker 1>and get into the end of the show with the

0:41:23.760 --> 0:41:24.319
<v Speaker 1>moment of truth.

0:41:24.600 --> 0:41:25.359
<v Speaker 2>Stick around, y'all.

0:41:36.960 --> 0:41:39.439
<v Speaker 1>All right, we're back and it's time for listener letters.

0:41:39.520 --> 0:41:40.960
<v Speaker 1>This is the moment where you know, we get into

0:41:41.000 --> 0:41:43.800
<v Speaker 1>your business a little bit only because you shared though, Okay,

0:41:43.880 --> 0:41:46.320
<v Speaker 1>because y'all wrote in weed in a I'm just kidding,

0:41:46.520 --> 0:41:49.520
<v Speaker 1>all right, first starters, I love you both.

0:41:49.560 --> 0:41:52.200
<v Speaker 2>I love the content and the podcast. Thank you so much.

0:41:52.280 --> 0:41:54.279
<v Speaker 1>I'll let de vou know. But we got grace today.

0:41:54.440 --> 0:41:56.440
<v Speaker 1>So let's see what y'all talking about. This is in

0:41:56.520 --> 0:42:00.440
<v Speaker 1>reference to the April tenth episode They are, They're Your

0:42:00.560 --> 0:42:02.000
<v Speaker 1>sacrifice is not your kids.

0:42:02.120 --> 0:42:02.440
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:42:02.960 --> 0:42:05.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm a thirty year old single mom. My daughter is thirteen.

0:42:06.040 --> 0:42:10.720
<v Speaker 1>I've come to the realization, after several tear soaked pillow nights,

0:42:11.239 --> 0:42:12.960
<v Speaker 1>that we have reached a time in her life of

0:42:13.040 --> 0:42:15.800
<v Speaker 1>transition from my sweet baby to this young lady who's

0:42:15.880 --> 0:42:20.480
<v Speaker 1>navigating what she knows and how she's influenced by her environment.

0:42:21.160 --> 0:42:24.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm having a difficult time allowing her to make mistakes

0:42:24.160 --> 0:42:26.719
<v Speaker 1>and drawing the line of trying to protect her from

0:42:26.960 --> 0:42:30.719
<v Speaker 1>her choices that I know the outcome of. I get

0:42:30.760 --> 0:42:34.120
<v Speaker 1>extremely frustrated when I allow her room to be independent

0:42:34.239 --> 0:42:38.560
<v Speaker 1>and she comes back with disobedience or wrongdoing. I feel

0:42:38.600 --> 0:42:41.840
<v Speaker 1>alone in parenting because her father isn't present and family

0:42:41.920 --> 0:42:44.520
<v Speaker 1>doesn't know how to respect the boundaries of my parenting

0:42:44.640 --> 0:42:47.960
<v Speaker 1>and do things how they've done with their children. What

0:42:48.120 --> 0:42:51.400
<v Speaker 1>advice do you have to have better communication with my

0:42:51.560 --> 0:42:56.200
<v Speaker 1>daughter knowing when to step back or step up with discipline. Sincerely,

0:42:56.280 --> 0:43:00.479
<v Speaker 1>a mom who's mf and tied. She said, Dad, she's

0:43:00.560 --> 0:43:03.719
<v Speaker 1>an efantie. So for some backstory, Grace. We were talking

0:43:03.800 --> 0:43:08.600
<v Speaker 1>on an episode DEVALAINI about sacrifices and when our parents

0:43:08.640 --> 0:43:11.080
<v Speaker 1>and I say our parents meaning our generation of parents

0:43:11.480 --> 0:43:13.880
<v Speaker 1>will kind of hit us with the I've sacrificed so

0:43:14.040 --> 0:43:16.360
<v Speaker 1>much for you and I've sacrificed so much. And it

0:43:16.400 --> 0:43:18.919
<v Speaker 1>had hit me one day where I was like, man,

0:43:19.120 --> 0:43:23.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to kind of weaponize sacrifices to my

0:43:23.680 --> 0:43:27.479
<v Speaker 1>children because they wanted to be here, Right, they didn't

0:43:27.480 --> 0:43:30.680
<v Speaker 1>ask to be here. They didn't ask for these sacrifices, right,

0:43:30.960 --> 0:43:33.160
<v Speaker 1>they didn't ask for these sacrifices. This is these are

0:43:33.239 --> 0:43:35.680
<v Speaker 1>things that I want to do as a parent to

0:43:36.000 --> 0:43:37.879
<v Speaker 1>be the best parent that I can be, to give

0:43:37.960 --> 0:43:40.640
<v Speaker 1>my children the opportunities that I want to afford them.

0:43:41.160 --> 0:43:42.799
<v Speaker 1>So this was an episode of val and I did.

0:43:42.880 --> 0:43:45.960
<v Speaker 1>So that's what she's talking in reference too. I don't

0:43:46.000 --> 0:43:48.040
<v Speaker 1>have a daughter. I've heard that, you know, the Good

0:43:48.080 --> 0:43:52.880
<v Speaker 1>Lord has saved me from teenage daughter years because he

0:43:53.040 --> 0:43:54.880
<v Speaker 1>knew that I probably didn't have the strength because I've

0:43:54.920 --> 0:43:58.080
<v Speaker 1>been beating her asked down. So that'd be said, a

0:43:58.120 --> 0:44:02.319
<v Speaker 1>thirty year old single mom daughter is thirteen. How does

0:44:02.360 --> 0:44:07.280
<v Speaker 1>she tow the line between being the I guess disciplinarian

0:44:07.640 --> 0:44:10.520
<v Speaker 1>and also allowing her daughter to make mistakes?

0:44:11.440 --> 0:44:17.640
<v Speaker 2>Wow, I may not be I fed up, so I

0:44:17.640 --> 0:44:21.359
<v Speaker 2>would say, let her f up, but as a teenage girl,

0:44:21.520 --> 0:44:26.000
<v Speaker 2>you mean, yeah, and be there for her, be there

0:44:26.040 --> 0:44:28.800
<v Speaker 2>for her when she does or if she does, or

0:44:29.120 --> 0:44:32.799
<v Speaker 2>you can I mean all you can do is pray. Yeah,

0:44:32.960 --> 0:44:36.120
<v Speaker 2>to be honest with you, especially in this twenty twenty

0:44:36.160 --> 0:44:41.480
<v Speaker 2>four where everything easily accessible, Yeah, we're really combating so

0:44:41.600 --> 0:44:42.360
<v Speaker 2>many things.

0:44:42.520 --> 0:44:44.799
<v Speaker 1>Like I know, our parents had their share of things

0:44:44.840 --> 0:44:48.200
<v Speaker 1>that they had to worry about, right, right, but everything

0:44:48.320 --> 0:44:51.319
<v Speaker 1>is so much more complex now parenting in this day

0:44:51.360 --> 0:44:54.960
<v Speaker 1>and age. What I'm hoping is that you know, thirteen

0:44:55.320 --> 0:44:57.520
<v Speaker 1>kind of gets rocky because they're starting to come into

0:44:57.560 --> 0:45:02.680
<v Speaker 1>their own they like boys, you girls? Middle age transition? Yeah,

0:45:02.719 --> 0:45:04.320
<v Speaker 1>boys or girls? You know what I'm saying, it's that

0:45:04.440 --> 0:45:07.600
<v Speaker 1>middle age transition where Deval had kind of equated it

0:45:07.640 --> 0:45:09.840
<v Speaker 1>to after working with all of his mentees for so

0:45:09.960 --> 0:45:16.319
<v Speaker 1>many years that those middle school ages. Yeah, Okay, we've

0:45:16.360 --> 0:45:18.040
<v Speaker 1>started those conversations for sure.

0:45:18.200 --> 0:45:20.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so she's going to have to do this thing. Yeah.

0:45:20.360 --> 0:45:22.759
<v Speaker 1>So it's like you reach that middle school ages where

0:45:22.800 --> 0:45:25.960
<v Speaker 1>you kids can either go left or right. And what

0:45:26.160 --> 0:45:28.279
<v Speaker 1>I'm hoping that you are doing with your daughter is

0:45:28.360 --> 0:45:31.320
<v Speaker 1>developing a relationship where there's a comfort level that she

0:45:31.480 --> 0:45:35.040
<v Speaker 1>has to talk to you about whatever it is.

0:45:35.760 --> 0:45:39.520
<v Speaker 2>But in that, like Grace said, kids are going to

0:45:39.560 --> 0:45:40.160
<v Speaker 2>make mistakes.

0:45:40.200 --> 0:45:42.320
<v Speaker 1>They're going to try, Like I know who I was

0:45:42.520 --> 0:45:46.000
<v Speaker 1>as a teenager and having the overbearing parents where I'm

0:45:46.080 --> 0:45:51.880
<v Speaker 1>just like, kids are going to find a way to

0:45:52.000 --> 0:45:55.919
<v Speaker 1>do the things that they want to do. So I say, sis,

0:45:56.120 --> 0:45:59.040
<v Speaker 1>keep fighting the good fights. I think it's just one

0:45:59.040 --> 0:46:01.279
<v Speaker 1>of those things where we have to have constant conversations

0:46:01.280 --> 0:46:02.920
<v Speaker 1>and making it a safe space for her and if

0:46:02.960 --> 0:46:06.319
<v Speaker 1>she does mess up, try to seat yes, give her

0:46:06.400 --> 0:46:08.320
<v Speaker 1>grace and try to get her to see the lesson

0:46:08.400 --> 0:46:12.040
<v Speaker 1>in it, right, you know, not necessarily the punishment or

0:46:12.160 --> 0:46:15.160
<v Speaker 1>the disciplinary action, because that will tend to make her

0:46:15.239 --> 0:46:19.000
<v Speaker 1>want to close up more or not share, to hide

0:46:19.239 --> 0:46:23.239
<v Speaker 1>or exactly. So that open line of communication is so necessary,

0:46:24.120 --> 0:46:26.239
<v Speaker 1>and you really want to toll the line between being

0:46:26.480 --> 0:46:30.400
<v Speaker 1>like that that friend confidant, but also allowing them to

0:46:30.480 --> 0:46:35.080
<v Speaker 1>make the mistakes that that may happen inevitable. So, yeah,

0:46:35.760 --> 0:46:37.800
<v Speaker 1>Jackson turned thirteen and I just look at him and

0:46:37.840 --> 0:46:40.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, first of all, probably by the end of

0:46:40.320 --> 0:46:41.680
<v Speaker 1>the summer, he's going to be taller than me.

0:46:42.160 --> 0:46:45.160
<v Speaker 2>Make sure I can't be that door off the hinges

0:46:45.360 --> 0:46:47.840
<v Speaker 2>off the hinges. You know, phones will be charged on

0:46:47.920 --> 0:46:52.359
<v Speaker 2>the charger at night, and the community family charger controls

0:46:52.480 --> 0:46:53.800
<v Speaker 2>and tracking and all of that.

0:46:53.920 --> 0:46:56.839
<v Speaker 1>I mean, there's just so many, so many different things.

0:46:56.920 --> 0:47:01.560
<v Speaker 1>Just the other day, I was scrolling on Instagram aimlessly

0:47:02.080 --> 0:47:06.400
<v Speaker 1>and came across a video of a woman saying, you know,

0:47:06.800 --> 0:47:09.440
<v Speaker 1>three things to make sure that your children aren't doing

0:47:09.480 --> 0:47:11.800
<v Speaker 1>while they're having video game time or something like that.

0:47:12.400 --> 0:47:14.439
<v Speaker 1>And one of those games, if it's Fortnite or something,

0:47:14.520 --> 0:47:17.719
<v Speaker 1>you can speak to people through the video games. And

0:47:17.840 --> 0:47:20.040
<v Speaker 1>she's like, make sure that that function is turned off,

0:47:20.080 --> 0:47:23.000
<v Speaker 1>So your children having conversations with a stranger. I'm just like,

0:47:23.080 --> 0:47:25.080
<v Speaker 1>wait in a second, they talk to people on Fortnite.

0:47:24.719 --> 0:47:26.520
<v Speaker 2>Too, like chat room.

0:47:26.880 --> 0:47:29.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh my true a well, chat rooms. I was definitely

0:47:30.000 --> 0:47:32.880
<v Speaker 1>doing that shit too, It's just a different version of it.

0:47:34.120 --> 0:47:36.320
<v Speaker 1>So I instantly called Jackson to my room and he's like,

0:47:36.360 --> 0:47:36.720
<v Speaker 1>what happened?

0:47:36.760 --> 0:47:36.840
<v Speaker 5>Mom?

0:47:36.880 --> 0:47:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Man? I was like, the boy's talking to anybody on Fortnite?

0:47:39.600 --> 0:47:41.239
<v Speaker 1>Can you make sure that you turn that function off?

0:47:41.280 --> 0:47:43.480
<v Speaker 1>And he's like, that's never been on, and I was like,

0:47:43.800 --> 0:47:45.600
<v Speaker 1>who do they talk to? And they were liked about Jackson,

0:47:45.640 --> 0:47:47.760
<v Speaker 1>just like nobody. We don't even have Mike's for Fortnite.

0:47:47.760 --> 0:47:49.920
<v Speaker 2>We just play. I'm like, all right, and if you

0:47:49.960 --> 0:47:50.920
<v Speaker 2>ever get Mike's, let me know.

0:47:51.000 --> 0:47:53.840
<v Speaker 1>So to make sure that function is turned off because

0:47:53.880 --> 0:47:56.200
<v Speaker 1>they are praying on children left and right, and we

0:47:56.440 --> 0:47:58.040
<v Speaker 1>just have to be in our p's and q's and

0:47:58.120 --> 0:48:01.040
<v Speaker 1>as technologies continues to advance, always something else that we're

0:48:01.080 --> 0:48:01.560
<v Speaker 1>going to have to.

0:48:01.719 --> 0:48:10.160
<v Speaker 2>Track them there under that's inhumane. But I personally don't

0:48:10.200 --> 0:48:12.680
<v Speaker 2>have time to go to the news asking for my child. Sure,

0:48:12.880 --> 0:48:14.560
<v Speaker 2>I need to go to work to kill somebody.

0:48:14.840 --> 0:48:16.600
<v Speaker 1>We too cute for jail. You know what I'm saying,

0:48:16.600 --> 0:48:18.200
<v Speaker 1>look at me and raised. All right, we take a

0:48:18.239 --> 0:48:20.879
<v Speaker 1>look at the camera. We're too cute for jail because

0:48:20.920 --> 0:48:21.720
<v Speaker 1>I will kill somebody.

0:48:23.320 --> 0:48:24.480
<v Speaker 2>All right, good luck to you sis.

0:48:24.560 --> 0:48:26.480
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for writing in and if you

0:48:26.520 --> 0:48:29.400
<v Speaker 1>want to be featured as a future Listener letter, we

0:48:29.480 --> 0:48:31.719
<v Speaker 1>cannot wait to hear from y'all, so go ahead and

0:48:31.800 --> 0:48:35.319
<v Speaker 1>email us at dead Ass Advice at gmail dot com.

0:48:35.719 --> 0:48:37.560
<v Speaker 1>All Right, we're rolling on to the moment of truth

0:48:37.640 --> 0:48:42.400
<v Speaker 1>now as we wrap things up, we're talking with my girl, Amazing,

0:48:42.480 --> 0:48:47.279
<v Speaker 1>Grace Amazing, and we are talking about her journey through

0:48:47.320 --> 0:48:50.040
<v Speaker 1>discovering and uh treating.

0:48:50.160 --> 0:48:54.759
<v Speaker 2>And fighting and beating whooping ass that's a fact, and

0:48:54.840 --> 0:48:58.800
<v Speaker 2>her new nonprofit called Beauty.

0:48:59.719 --> 0:49:02.080
<v Speaker 1>What do you want people to know? What's that takeaway?

0:49:02.160 --> 0:49:03.759
<v Speaker 1>What's that moment of truth you want to share with

0:49:03.880 --> 0:49:08.840
<v Speaker 1>us today? Wow, moment of truth my mind and what

0:49:09.239 --> 0:49:17.560
<v Speaker 1>should be everyone's is listening to yourself like that in

0:49:18.280 --> 0:49:20.920
<v Speaker 1>a lot of situations, in every scenario, whether it's a

0:49:21.239 --> 0:49:24.400
<v Speaker 1>restaurant you're supposed to go to or not, or taking

0:49:24.520 --> 0:49:27.920
<v Speaker 1>a visit to someone like that initial, that gut feeling

0:49:28.080 --> 0:49:31.839
<v Speaker 1>that first person is there for a reason. It can

0:49:31.920 --> 0:49:34.920
<v Speaker 1>save your life, it can save your family's lives, you know.

0:49:35.719 --> 0:49:42.760
<v Speaker 1>So that's my truth is literally listening to that voice

0:49:42.800 --> 0:49:45.719
<v Speaker 1>God put in you. Therefore a reason can save your

0:49:45.760 --> 0:49:48.720
<v Speaker 1>life and it can change so many lives in the process.

0:49:49.600 --> 0:49:52.319
<v Speaker 1>I guess my moment of truth as we wrap up

0:49:52.360 --> 0:49:55.920
<v Speaker 1>today is find out how you can be of support

0:49:56.000 --> 0:49:59.520
<v Speaker 1>to people who are going through life altering things.

0:50:01.520 --> 0:50:04.840
<v Speaker 2>Have grace for them in the moments that you know

0:50:04.960 --> 0:50:05.760
<v Speaker 2>require grace.

0:50:08.800 --> 0:50:15.520
<v Speaker 1>Really just extend yourself in whatever capacity or whatever need

0:50:15.880 --> 0:50:18.400
<v Speaker 1>they may need met in that moment. It doesn't have

0:50:18.480 --> 0:50:20.840
<v Speaker 1>to be financial. It could be time, it could be

0:50:20.920 --> 0:50:23.040
<v Speaker 1>a meal, it could be you know, what are some

0:50:23.080 --> 0:50:24.840
<v Speaker 1>things that were helpful for you grace, just like.

0:50:26.760 --> 0:50:31.600
<v Speaker 2>Like my house, I have no self done with y'all.

0:50:31.880 --> 0:50:33.480
<v Speaker 1>I was just trying to think of, like in that

0:50:33.600 --> 0:50:35.839
<v Speaker 1>moment when you feel so helpless, it's like, what can

0:50:35.880 --> 0:50:37.799
<v Speaker 1>I do? What can I take off of her plate?

0:50:37.880 --> 0:50:38.160
<v Speaker 2>Right now?

0:50:38.200 --> 0:50:40.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm thinking grace, the wife, Grace, the mom, grace, the

0:50:41.080 --> 0:50:45.680
<v Speaker 1>the entrepreneur, Like how can I alleviate something from you?

0:50:45.880 --> 0:50:46.840
<v Speaker 2>And I'm thinking about.

0:50:48.680 --> 0:50:51.160
<v Speaker 1>I think of your husband, I'm thinking of your children, Like, okay,

0:50:51.239 --> 0:50:52.800
<v Speaker 1>if I can help with like the I don't worry

0:50:52.800 --> 0:50:54.279
<v Speaker 1>about dinner for like two three nights.

0:50:54.400 --> 0:50:57.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like, what's just something that'll help, you.

0:50:57.760 --> 0:50:59.680
<v Speaker 1>Know, to just really think about how you can be

0:51:00.080 --> 0:51:03.160
<v Speaker 1>of help to people who are going through some really

0:51:03.320 --> 0:51:04.560
<v Speaker 1>life changing things.

0:51:04.640 --> 0:51:08.480
<v Speaker 2>Memes, memes, help you know, and something so simple like

0:51:08.600 --> 0:51:11.160
<v Speaker 2>we you know, on Instagram and we're sharing memes and

0:51:11.680 --> 0:51:14.640
<v Speaker 2>things with people. And I have a I've never met

0:51:14.680 --> 0:51:18.319
<v Speaker 2>her in real in person yet, but she's going through

0:51:19.239 --> 0:51:22.239
<v Speaker 2>a form of cancer and I asked her what can

0:51:22.320 --> 0:51:27.240
<v Speaker 2>I do? And she's like, I like memes. I like reels, Okay, cool,

0:51:27.480 --> 0:51:30.239
<v Speaker 2>say less because that's what I do, send them off

0:51:30.320 --> 0:51:32.680
<v Speaker 2>and off. I think I said something recently to us,

0:51:33.080 --> 0:51:35.160
<v Speaker 2>like just in the informational like did you try this?

0:51:35.280 --> 0:51:37.400
<v Speaker 2>Did you think of that? I'm like, I have my

0:51:37.520 --> 0:51:40.000
<v Speaker 2>friend in Jamaica. She's like, sourcing sour stop leaves.

0:51:40.080 --> 0:51:42.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, suddenly leave, send me that whatever you know,

0:51:42.920 --> 0:51:47.360
<v Speaker 1>something back home those good back home remedies.

0:51:47.440 --> 0:51:48.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm like anything.

0:51:48.320 --> 0:51:51.239
<v Speaker 1>At this point, it's like everyone's grasping and straws. But

0:51:51.360 --> 0:51:54.239
<v Speaker 1>to make sure we help. Everyone wants to help. And

0:51:55.640 --> 0:51:56.360
<v Speaker 1>it's interesting.

0:51:56.520 --> 0:51:58.719
<v Speaker 2>And I did the Caring Bridge because it was easy

0:51:58.800 --> 0:52:02.240
<v Speaker 2>for me to write everything in one spot, yes, versus

0:52:02.320 --> 0:52:05.880
<v Speaker 2>a thousand people asking what can they do? And I

0:52:05.960 --> 0:52:08.399
<v Speaker 2>get it. Everyone's coming from a place of love. Yes,

0:52:09.160 --> 0:52:14.000
<v Speaker 2>But in those moments it's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot.

0:52:14.160 --> 0:52:17.520
<v Speaker 2>We have to pace ourselves. Yes, and then's funny means right,

0:52:17.960 --> 0:52:20.960
<v Speaker 2>the informational things, it's great, But a lot of times

0:52:21.520 --> 0:52:25.279
<v Speaker 2>in that moment, we don't want to think about Yes, reality, yes,

0:52:25.520 --> 0:52:28.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, so something to take your mind off, which

0:52:28.239 --> 0:52:33.240
<v Speaker 2>was great, the cooking, and people were sending me shows

0:52:33.320 --> 0:52:35.920
<v Speaker 2>to watch. I finally watched Bridgerton, which I get it,

0:52:37.000 --> 0:52:40.640
<v Speaker 2>I get the hype, you know, but you know, just

0:52:40.719 --> 0:52:44.520
<v Speaker 2>things to take your mind off of that amazing in

0:52:44.600 --> 0:52:48.719
<v Speaker 2>that moment. Amazing grace, my girl. What's something you're dead

0:52:48.760 --> 0:52:49.239
<v Speaker 2>ass about?

0:52:50.200 --> 0:52:50.359
<v Speaker 5>Oh?

0:52:52.200 --> 0:52:56.239
<v Speaker 2>Who I am as a person? I'm dead ass about. Yes,

0:52:56.400 --> 0:52:58.400
<v Speaker 2>I am dead ass about who I am as a person.

0:52:59.560 --> 0:53:03.160
<v Speaker 2>You never know. Be good, do good, because you never

0:53:03.280 --> 0:53:05.800
<v Speaker 2>know when life hits you. I have learned, and I

0:53:05.880 --> 0:53:09.080
<v Speaker 2>am learning in this moment. Everything that's happening is coming

0:53:09.160 --> 0:53:11.319
<v Speaker 2>back because of who I am as a person. For sure,

0:53:11.640 --> 0:53:14.000
<v Speaker 2>I didn't realize that, and I don't do things because

0:53:14.040 --> 0:53:19.800
<v Speaker 2>of because of that. But people learned because doing this

0:53:20.000 --> 0:53:23.480
<v Speaker 2>and you were like, Grace, you don't realize what you

0:53:23.600 --> 0:53:25.120
<v Speaker 2>do for people. And I'm like, I'm just doing it

0:53:25.200 --> 0:53:25.760
<v Speaker 2>because that's.

0:53:25.880 --> 0:53:27.440
<v Speaker 1>That's who you are, who I am, that's who you are,

0:53:27.440 --> 0:53:29.120
<v Speaker 1>and that's what connected me to you and drew me

0:53:29.239 --> 0:53:29.440
<v Speaker 1>to you.

0:53:29.760 --> 0:53:31.360
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, I need her in my life.

0:53:33.760 --> 0:53:36.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm deads about the people who I love. There you

0:53:36.200 --> 0:53:38.680
<v Speaker 2>go and you are one of them. Thank you, And

0:53:38.760 --> 0:53:41.080
<v Speaker 2>we're fighting together. Make sure you put the eye in

0:53:41.120 --> 0:53:43.839
<v Speaker 2>front of that and do love you. It's I love

0:53:43.880 --> 0:53:44.920
<v Speaker 2>you ownership.

0:53:45.040 --> 0:53:47.640
<v Speaker 1>I love you your mine. I love you your mine,

0:53:47.680 --> 0:53:49.320
<v Speaker 1>your mind, and we're fighting this together.

0:53:49.360 --> 0:53:55.440
<v Speaker 2>Grace, Like I did you know what I'm saying? You know,

0:53:56.160 --> 0:53:59.760
<v Speaker 2>I just figured it was appropriate. And I we're black because.

0:53:59.560 --> 0:54:02.200
<v Speaker 3>Only because I know once a mad girl, like I said,

0:54:02.200 --> 0:54:05.080
<v Speaker 3>always a mag You're always dressed in black for you today,

0:54:05.120 --> 0:54:09.439
<v Speaker 3>but low key was swimming because I could fit them again. Great, thanks, Okay,

0:54:09.560 --> 0:54:12.359
<v Speaker 3>I dressed up for you today grades we were having

0:54:12.400 --> 0:54:14.160
<v Speaker 3>a moment. I love it and I love you and

0:54:14.280 --> 0:54:15.640
<v Speaker 3>thank you so much for being here today.

0:54:15.640 --> 0:54:17.360
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for having that. Absolutely if people want to

0:54:17.360 --> 0:54:20.239
<v Speaker 2>find you, where can they find you? Oh man, don't

0:54:20.280 --> 0:54:22.120
<v Speaker 2>come to my house. Don't come to her house don't

0:54:22.160 --> 0:54:28.839
<v Speaker 2>come to mind either. A graceful artistry on Instagram that's

0:54:28.920 --> 0:54:34.680
<v Speaker 2>my Makeup World and nonprofit Survivors Beauty dot Org.

0:54:34.960 --> 0:54:36.880
<v Speaker 1>Survivors Beauty dot Org. That's where you can find my

0:54:36.960 --> 0:54:38.759
<v Speaker 1>girl Grace. And you know where you can find us

0:54:39.200 --> 0:54:42.239
<v Speaker 1>on Patreon of course if you're a subscriber, we're having

0:54:42.280 --> 0:54:44.800
<v Speaker 1>lots of fun over there. See exclusive dead Ass podcasts,

0:54:44.920 --> 0:54:47.560
<v Speaker 1>video content as well as more Ellis family content, and

0:54:47.680 --> 0:54:50.279
<v Speaker 1>you can find us on social media at dead Ass

0:54:50.360 --> 0:54:50.960
<v Speaker 1>the Podcast.

0:54:51.080 --> 0:54:53.000
<v Speaker 2>You can find me at Kadeen I Am Don't forget

0:54:53.040 --> 0:54:53.640
<v Speaker 2>to vow too.

0:54:53.920 --> 0:54:56.680
<v Speaker 1>He's open there still, you know, on and off, but

0:54:57.040 --> 0:54:58.719
<v Speaker 1>you can find them an Im Deval and if you're

0:54:58.719 --> 0:55:01.600
<v Speaker 1>listening on Apple podcast, we still want you to rate,

0:55:01.680 --> 0:55:04.520
<v Speaker 1>review and subscribe. Thank you so much for listening today,

0:55:05.120 --> 0:55:09.040
<v Speaker 1>Spread the words, spread the awareness, and yeah dead adds.

0:55:11.960 --> 0:55:15.040
<v Speaker 2>Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and

0:55:15.040 --> 0:55:18.759
<v Speaker 2>its produced by Donorapinya and Trible. Follow the podcast on

0:55:18.880 --> 0:55:21.560
<v Speaker 2>social media at dead Ass the Podcast and never miss

0:55:21.600 --> 0:55:21.839
<v Speaker 2>a Thing