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Speaker 1: When things affect your friends who have turned family, it

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Speaker 1: hits different.

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Speaker 2: Stepping into my new reality now a twenty sentence, But

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Speaker 2: that's all I got, dead ass. Hey, I'm Kadeen and

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Speaker 2: I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's. You may know us

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Speaker 2: from posting funny videos with.

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Speaker 1: Our boys and reading each other publicly as.

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Speaker 2: A form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need therapy

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Speaker 2: most days.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

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Speaker 4: Yes, sir, we are.

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Speaker 2: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 2: Li's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to

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Speaker 2: talk about through the lens of a millennial married couple.

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Speaker 2: Dead ass is a term that we say every day.

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Speaker 2: So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts

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Speaker 2: one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but

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Speaker 2: the truth. We about to take philos off to our

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Speaker 2: whole new level.

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Speaker 1: Dead ass starts right now. Story time, all right now.

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Speaker 1: So it was a random I want to say, Monday morning,

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Speaker 1: got the kids off to school, went back to lay

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Speaker 1: down for a little bit, then got up to pee,

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Speaker 1: check my phone and I see a text message from Grace. Grace,

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Speaker 1: who is my makeup artist in Atlanta whose turned friend

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Speaker 1: turned family and Janelle, Janelle everyone knows is my hairstylist

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Speaker 1: that I've known for years. I mean, did my my

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Speaker 1: hair for my wedding, like all that, right, all the events,

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Speaker 1: all the events, and you know, it's not unusual for

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Speaker 1: us to have our group text where we're Kiki and

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Speaker 1: we chit chat and we share, you know, memes.

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Speaker 2: And we pray and we do all sorts of stuff together.

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Speaker 1: Right, But this particular morning, I you know, went to

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Speaker 1: use the bathroom and then I standing in front of

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Speaker 1: the mirror and I read this text message and it says, oh.

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Speaker 2: My god, you have to say you have the message.

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Speaker 1: Good morning ladies. And it's with the emoji with like

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Speaker 1: the too happy hands. So I'm like, hey, girl, like.

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Speaker 2: You know, hand hands.

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Speaker 1: It's on my heart to reach out to you both

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Speaker 1: and encourage you to schedule your mammograms if you haven't already.

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Speaker 1: I do not fit the bill, but sadly, I've been

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Speaker 1: diagnosed with stage two breast cancer. I'm fine mentally at peace.

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Speaker 1: Q tears okay.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm fine, I promise, I'm fine.

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Speaker 1: Tears Okay, So I gather myself, so I can see again,

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Speaker 1: because at this point I'm literally in tears. The original

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Speaker 1: medical professional told me that I wasn't that that I was.

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Speaker 1: What I was feeling wasn't cancer because according to the

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Speaker 1: book I it did not fit. I thank God for

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Speaker 1: di sermon and obedience. I question everyone for a reason.

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Speaker 1: She was annoyed by my questioning her authority and I

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Speaker 1: went to get a mammigrant against her recommendation. I have

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Speaker 1: a whole story to tell in due time. Treatment is

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Speaker 1: moving quickly, miseectomies are scheduled. Janelle, I'm still your model,

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Speaker 1: because Janelle had a class coming up. I love you both,

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Speaker 1: tell Sakari and everyone you know, every woman you care

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Speaker 1: about to do it continuing to listen to the inner

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Speaker 1: voice God has given us. For me, it was just

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Speaker 1: the casual way that Grace in this group chat just

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Speaker 1: dropped a bomb on us, so casually, without any kind

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Speaker 1: of warning, and like, hey, good morning, good morning, jazz hands.

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Speaker 1: It's Monday, and I'll never forget that moment and how

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Speaker 1: I felt.

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Speaker 2: And it's almost making me choke up now. Oh oh,

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Speaker 2: she's trying to make me cry. We need tissues. Yeah, yes,

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Speaker 2: So that's my story.

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Speaker 1: Time income the tissues with Matt.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, I tried it, indeed. So we're gonna take.

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Speaker 5: A quick break so I can gather myself, Lord, because

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Speaker 5: I'm having a feeling that this episode is, oh Lord,

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Speaker 5: one of those, but I think it's very necessary and

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Speaker 5: I'm so happy that you're here with me today.

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Speaker 2: Let's not do this.

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Speaker 4: And uh yeah, we're gonna get into karaoke town.

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Speaker 2: Let's brighten the mood.

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Speaker 1: You better have a good song today, Grace, because I

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Speaker 1: cannot cry this whole episode. So Lincoln Park, all right, Grace,

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Speaker 1: you got something good for me? Because the only song

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Speaker 1: that came to mind, of course, was Amazing Grace, but

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Speaker 1: that was just so somber and solemn, and I just can't.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we need something upbeat. Well, I mean

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Speaker 2: in the God, now that I think about it, in

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Speaker 2: the end, Lincoln Park, I mean it's upbeat sounding, Okay,

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Speaker 2: so we don't have to really listen to the words.

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Speaker 2: Go ahead now.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, I was telling her pre show, the

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Speaker 1: only Lincoln Park song I know is the one with

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Speaker 1: jay Z.

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Speaker 2: Do you want to or I can't? I can't And

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Speaker 2: she's like, yeah, all the black people know. That's what

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Speaker 2: I'm like. Yeah, that's me. Okay, we might have to

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Speaker 2: skip the Lincoln Park. I was just thinking about the lyrics.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, the lyrics don't work. I mean, we're gonna cry. Oh,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna cry. Yeah. Those songs are quite heavy. Are

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Speaker 2: they heavy?

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Speaker 1: But if it's on your heart, go ahead and do

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Speaker 1: your think.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we're gonna do it this way. Okay. I tried

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Speaker 2: so hard, but god, so far. Oh I do know

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Speaker 2: this song in the end, Yes, it doesn't really matter,

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Speaker 2: I know, but it does matter. Yeah, it does matter.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, that's the song I want to sing.

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Speaker 1: You want to even say the lyrics. You can't even

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Speaker 1: say the lyrics. You don't even have to sing it. Girl,

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Speaker 1: that was my get right there, do it?

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Speaker 2: I already did it. Do it again, Okay, run it back,

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Speaker 2: because yeah, I tried so hard and got so far,

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Speaker 2: but in the end it didn't even matter. Okay I

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Speaker 2: had to fall to lose it all. But in the

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Speaker 2: end it doesn't even matter. Wow.

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Speaker 1: It's actually really deep when you think about you know,

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Speaker 1: and I'm thinking about the tempo of the song and

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Speaker 1: like the upbeatness of it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And I'm like, damn, that was pretty deep.

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Speaker 1: In the end, it didn't really matter. I'm fortunate because

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Speaker 1: he ended up committing suicide. He did, all right, guys,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Grace.

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Speaker 2: Can heard it too, as the hell with it?

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Speaker 1: Like that?

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Speaker 2: All right now, So even back to our text, like

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Speaker 2: that's how I deal with a bad situation, Yeah, throwing

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Speaker 2: dark humor. I noticed that.

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Speaker 1: I noticed that your career sarcasm is actually one of

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Speaker 1: the things I love about you.

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Speaker 4: So all right, let's take a break to recover from

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Speaker 4: that whole thing in the beginning of the show, and

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Speaker 4: we're gonna come back and we're gonna dive back into

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Speaker 4: story time and we're gonna talk more with Grace about

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Speaker 4: breast cancer awareness, how she found out, and what her

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Speaker 4: story is looking like right now.

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Speaker 2: So stick around, all right. So, as I passed tissue out.

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Speaker 1: We passed the it's almost like passing the offering plate.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna pass the tissue box around because I just

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Speaker 1: anticipate that as we aim to in this episode, bring awareness,

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Speaker 1: educate people, the people who don't.

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Speaker 2: Think like it can happen to me.

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Speaker 1: I'm still that actually, yeah, yeah, And I can imagine

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Speaker 1: I still look at you and I'm like, I can't

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Speaker 1: believe this is happening.

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Speaker 2: I saw you at Matt's wedding.

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Speaker 1: We had a moment, you know, we're bringing together with

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Speaker 1: every It was just It's just one of those situations.

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Speaker 1: Like I said in my sound by earlier, that when

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Speaker 1: it affects someone who you love, it literally affects you

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Speaker 1: as well too. So going back to story time where

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Speaker 1: you sent out this text message to Janelle, and I

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Speaker 1: take us back to the moment that you found out

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Speaker 1: what what's your story here? You know you felt a lump,

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Speaker 1: something didn't feel right, and God led you to am

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Speaker 1: my friend.

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Speaker 2: So I want to say back in November, I remember

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Speaker 2: laying in the bed at night and I tell my husband,

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Speaker 2: I said, Babe, I feel something and I feel everything.

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Speaker 2: But He's like, here we go, what now, hypochondriac? And

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Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I feel something in my breast. And

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Speaker 2: breasts are lumpy from you know.

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Speaker 1: Especially post breastfeeding like my I remember I had to

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Speaker 1: get a lump checked in my armpit right because my

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Speaker 1: lymph nodes got swolen after each baby, breastfeeding each so

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Speaker 1: it's hard to decipher what's what.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I remember feeling the lump, thinking okay, well,

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Speaker 2: it's a lump and it's soft, and it's like you

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Speaker 2: can move it, but again I don't. I don't do

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Speaker 2: that to other women. So I don't know what's there,

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Speaker 2: what's supposed to be there, what's not. So he feels

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Speaker 2: it too, and he's like, well, go to the hospital,

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Speaker 2: like you know, go to your doctor.

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Speaker 1: And you would say the size of a green grape.

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Speaker 2: The big one got you. And so go to bed.

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Speaker 2: The next day or so or whenever. A mutual friend

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Speaker 2: had passed from breast cancer and she's young kids, twin

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Speaker 2: boys and another I think all under five, and her

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Speaker 2: issue was she didn't it had come back. But long

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Speaker 2: story short, she passed and I remember texting my friend,

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Speaker 2: who is my gynecologist. I text her, I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: need a Mam Graham and she was like why you know,

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Speaker 2: because I'm the I'm the one that's like I need this.

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Speaker 2: I need an am. I right A pets can't I

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Speaker 2: need my sister?

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Speaker 1: And I now I'm like, oh, you're a nurse practitioner,

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Speaker 1: Now you got that right, Okay, sis, let me get

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Speaker 1: some ibuprof an eight hundred to stand by, you know,

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Speaker 1: And I just.

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Speaker 2: Like to check. I like to check things. And my

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Speaker 2: husband's like, you like to freak yourself out pretty much.

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Speaker 2: It's like, no, I like to know, low key control freak.

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Speaker 2: Same and I don't even know what's going on. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that way I can behead exactly. Yeah. And so I

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Speaker 2: text her. She's like, why you know at this time,

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Speaker 2: I'm thirty seven and I think the age people start

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Speaker 2: to check or they tell you to check. It's forty

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Speaker 2: forty one. Yeah, yeah, I'm I turned forty December fifth.

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Speaker 1: My annual was January fifth, and she was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you get to get your you to get your first man,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad she has my scheduled three weeks.

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Speaker 2: What they scheduled to out that far? Yeah, okay, we're

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Speaker 2: gonna talk about it, okay, right, So I text her

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Speaker 2: Texas Change I I think I did. I called the

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Speaker 2: office to get uh seen and because you know, I

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Speaker 2: just went to do everything, and she could not see

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Speaker 2: me because her mother was going through something. So she

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Speaker 2: went to be with her mom, rightfully, So I'm glad

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Speaker 2: she did. She ended up passing and so I expected

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Speaker 2: her to be out of office. So her pa saw

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Speaker 2: me instead and we were you know, black woman young.

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Speaker 2: We were talking Kei king and she feels she does

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Speaker 2: a physical and she's feeling and she feels what I

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Speaker 2: was telling her. And she's like, well, you know, asking

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Speaker 2: me the book questions because they do go by the

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Speaker 2: book and the questions, you know, is it painful? Is

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Speaker 2: it you know, does it move? So it moves? It

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Speaker 2: was moving, and it was a very dull pain. It

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Speaker 2: wasn't painful, but it was like a dull numb pain

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Speaker 2: if you will, that I would feel around my menstrel time.

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Speaker 1: It's like aching, like a throbbing or something very.

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Speaker 2: Very and so I had to let her know. She

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Speaker 2: was like, well, you know, cancer is not painful, so

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Speaker 2: you know, and I think she was excited that all

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Speaker 2: these things according to the book. You know, she was

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Speaker 2: happy that it's not cancer according to the book.

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Speaker 1: And also maybe trying to temper your your emotion, right,

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Speaker 1: because you feel something like that so naturally, especially being

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Speaker 1: a hypoconject, which I understand because I kind of share

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Speaker 1: the same sentiment.

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Speaker 2: That's where your mind goes, right, Yeah, So then I

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Speaker 2: get it, and that's why you know, I'm not upset

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Speaker 2: with her, Like I get what she was doing, but

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Speaker 2: something told me like, mmm, it keeps coming to me

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Speaker 2: breast cancer, breast cancer and now I'm not trying to

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Speaker 2: wish it all myself, but at the same time, I

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Speaker 2: like to pay attention. And so I told her, I said, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to check you know. She's like, well, you

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Speaker 2: don't need to. You know, you're under the age the

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Speaker 2: all the things checklists. According to the book, this is

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Speaker 2: it's probably like a site fibro at noma, you know,

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Speaker 2: some fibrous tissue or vibrus and arsistic And she's like,

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Speaker 2: you don't need to. And I was like, well, I'm

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Speaker 2: still going to and I know, medical professor, y'all go

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Speaker 2: to school.

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Speaker 1: You read the book. Some of y'all go to school longer.

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Speaker 1: But she was a little annoyed by my persistence. Yes,

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Speaker 1: she was like questioning, questioning authority. Yeah, and she was like,

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Speaker 1: well you can you know, schedule one and we don't

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Speaker 1: do it here or something like that. But she was like,

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Speaker 1: do use this, yeah, basically right, get lost. So so

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Speaker 1: at that point, you again are just getting all of

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Speaker 1: these feelings signs. You're feeling like God is saying to

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Speaker 1: you like this is something more, this is something more,

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Speaker 1: And so you schedule the mammogramage. You're in the mammogram.

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Speaker 2: How does that go?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 2: I schedule it Google where to Go because I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 2: what I'm I supposed to now? Google where to go?

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Speaker 2: This spot paid for a top spot on Google because

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Speaker 2: they popped up and I went to this imaging center.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna say their name went to this imaging imaging center.

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Speaker 2: Was not painful at all. She's mashed down, but it

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Speaker 2: wasn't painful. So I'm like, what are people tripping about? Right?

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Speaker 2: You know that it's painful. This was not painful. They

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Speaker 2: saw the lumps two and I only felt one, but

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Speaker 2: they saw two, so they said I needed a biopsy. Okay,

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Speaker 2: this place doesn't do their own biopsy. So long story short,

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Speaker 2: Maybe a month passed and my one of my really

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Speaker 2: good friends, she kept pushing me to call and get

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Speaker 2: this biopsy and I wouldn't. I was busy, and they

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Speaker 2: put in an order for biopsy, but they didn't do

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Speaker 2: it themselves. So again, I finally got around to calling

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Speaker 2: a place that did biopsies.

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Speaker 1: So pretty much, you're doing all the leg worksposed to

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Speaker 1: support it in the price once you told the PA

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Speaker 1: that you were gonna investigate further with the mammogram.

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Speaker 2: So I'm on my own googling a place again. This

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Speaker 2: place pops up first spot on Google and they put

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Speaker 2: in an order. I called around because now I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 2: well where am I supposed to go for that? And

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Speaker 2: they were like, well, you can google places to do biopsies.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, so you just.

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Speaker 1: Google and the random place it's gonna cut you open ink,

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Speaker 1: take out stuff.

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Speaker 2: This is crazy. Ends ended up north Side, going to

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Speaker 2: north Side and called them. They never got the images

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Speaker 2: from the place, and I'm like, what are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: So I'm fishing around looking for where this place is.

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Speaker 2: How come they haven't sent I need to come in

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Speaker 2: and sign a consent for him to release and I'm

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Speaker 2: like what, Okay, long story short, I had to do

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Speaker 2: another mammogram from north Side. Now this hurt and outside.

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Speaker 2: So it was a clear difference. First of all, like

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Speaker 2: they just did not like the other images, so they

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Speaker 2: did their own. They do biopsies as well. Schedule a

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Speaker 2: biopsy the next few days. Did that. Three days later,

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Speaker 2: my results came in and it went to my friend first,

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Speaker 2: who's my OB and she got it. First of all,

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Speaker 2: another doctor called me I hadn't even gotten the news.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: And she called me and she was like, I just

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Speaker 2: got your news. I'm so sorry. Do you want to

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Speaker 2: when do you want to come in? And I'm like,

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Speaker 2: what are you talking about? Broken to you? Yes, I'm

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Speaker 2: my lady yell. Didn't talk about my number?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 1: Was there?

305
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Speaker 2: Not like a way we're going to break this kind

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Speaker 2: of So she apologized she thought I had already gotten

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Speaker 2: the news. I'm like, no, ma'am, like I don't. First

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Speaker 2: of all, you're not gonna put that on me. I

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Speaker 2: don't have cancer, And turned out it did men do.

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Speaker 2: And so my friend ends up calling explaining what they found.

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Speaker 2: I automatically hit up my doctor. Actually, no, doctor didn't

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Speaker 2: like her vibe. I'm big on vibes and energy and

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Speaker 2: see another doctor loved instantly. And everything was happening so fast,

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Speaker 2: And I felt like it's because my husband got this

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Speaker 2: great ass insurance. Yes, like I've known such people in

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Speaker 2: situations where months out for an appointment for this, for this,

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Speaker 2: for that, and everything was like back to back day

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Speaker 2: after another.

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Speaker 1: So that's an addedly yes to the story, or to

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Speaker 1: just the healthcare system that is all of that existing

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Speaker 1: in America. So you see the hierarchy in Oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're treated based off of the type of insurance you have.

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Speaker 2: I have been sharingty you have, I mean knocking everything

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Speaker 2: out like in days where people are like that's so rare,

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Speaker 2: like they're seeing you like this, and I'm like, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember talking to you when you were like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm getting this doneline by Monday, this by tesday, Friday,

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Speaker 1: and you're done.

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Speaker 2: Even my MRI, which they don't usually do in my

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Speaker 2: rides on Sundays, I have a Sunday appointment. Not that happened. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 2: I'll take it. But it made me realize. I know

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Speaker 2: people who get pushed out weeks months and cancer depending

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Speaker 2: on how aggressive it's spreading fast right so by you know,

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Speaker 2: they could have been stage zero, one or two by

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Speaker 2: the time everything gets situated and seen, their stage three,

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Speaker 2: you know, or four, depending on how aggressive it is,

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Speaker 2: how aggressive it is. And that's another topic. This healthcare system.

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Speaker 2: We're not gonna go I know, layered, very LAPI theorists.

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00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:09,119
Speaker 2: I mean, its like, but so saw everything breast doctor,

340
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 2: first MRI, second genetics test. They did the highest testing,

341
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Speaker 2: which is eighty five genes all negative for mutations, So

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Speaker 2: it's like where did this cancer come from? Right? And

343
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Speaker 2: even seeing my reconstructive doctor, that took another month, or

344
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 2: was supposed to take another month to handle that. And

345
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Speaker 2: she came back in the room and she was like, well,

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Speaker 2: someone just canceled for the twenty fifth do you want it?

347
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Speaker 2: This was like the week before, like hell yeah, and

348
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Speaker 2: oh yeah, yeah, I'll you know.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So the course of action now is is what

350
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Speaker 1: you have stage two cancers in one.

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Speaker 2: Of it's in one. I was gonna cut both off

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Speaker 2: regardless because I wasn't gonna be uneven, right And after

353
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Speaker 2: the MRI, my breast doctor saw that I had a

354
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Speaker 2: six millimeter tumor in the left as well. Wow, and

355
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,159
Speaker 2: she was a good thing, you can cut them off,

356
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Speaker 2: because here we go, gotcha. It just made sense to

357
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Speaker 2: me because I'm like, if it's in one, it's possibly

358
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Speaker 2: could you know? And I know it's not always like that,

359
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Speaker 2: but to me, let's cut cut it out control, right, right?

360
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Speaker 1: So you get the news, of course, kind of rig

361
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 1: them around because someone called first, then your obguin calls.

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Speaker 1: How do you break the news to your family because

363
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Speaker 1: now this is a journey that you're on, not alone,

364
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Speaker 1: you have a husband, you have two children, a host

365
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Speaker 1: of family and friends. So in your mind, how do

366
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Speaker 1: do you brace to tell the family or in true

367
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 1: grace form, we kind of just like throw out their casualty.

368
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Speaker 1: What was your husband's feeling? I guess with you were

369
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Speaker 1: going into this when you finally got the.

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Speaker 2: News with you uh he instantly I could tell. And

371
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Speaker 2: men like to show that they are, you know, your rock,

372
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Speaker 2: which is great of course, put together, put together, always

373
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Speaker 2: under control. And I could see his body shift and

374
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,960
Speaker 2: his face was you know, putting on the front, but

375
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,400
Speaker 2: I could see his body shift. So he was hurt

376
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 2: and scared, and he was like, cut it out, cut

377
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 2: it out, you know, like cut off the breast, cut

378
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 2: everything off. And and I knew at that moment I

379
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:29,360
Speaker 2: wasn't gonna tell anyone else, and especially my family. Yeah,

380
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 2: because Nigerians, I mean all the native doctors were called

381
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Speaker 2: right right right. I don't know, I don't know about

382
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Speaker 2: Nigerian culture, but I'll listen ya know what it is,

383
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 2: right right? The native doctors were called and from over

384
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Speaker 2: across the sea, and my mom was like, don't cut

385
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 2: your breast off. The doctors have been called. They said

386
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 2: they can take the thing away, you'll never see it again.

387
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,640
Speaker 2: And I'm like, who, like you said, mommy, please don't

388
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 2: pay anybody else, Like, oh my goodness, giving people your

389
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 2: heart on money. Yes, I haven't even spoken to these people, like,

390
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 2: don't do it right, right, And I said, I'm cutting

391
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Speaker 2: them off, Like we've just talked about it already. At

392
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Speaker 2: that point.

393
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Speaker 1: It was just a hard decision that you made with you, well,

394
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 1: with you and your husband. Yeah, yeah, well first and

395
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 1: then of course letting your husband know what the plan was,

396
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:21,879
Speaker 1: what the.

397
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 2: Plan was, and I still hadn't told anyone.

398
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Speaker 1: So just jumping into some Saxon stats because we were

399
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: doing some just research and stuff, just to see what

400
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,439
Speaker 1: things are looking like now in twenty twenty four, because

401
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: you know, breast cancer of course has been around forever, right,

402
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 1: It's something that always unfortunately pops up. You know. October

403
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: is Breast cancer Awareness Month. Some stats we had recently

404
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 1: for twenty twenty four, The American Cancer Society estimates that

405
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 1: more than three hundred and ten thousand plus new cases

406
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 1: of invasive breast cancer and fifty six thousand new cases

407
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 1: of ductyl carcinoma in stage one breast cancer will be

408
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,879
Speaker 1: diagnosed in women in the US.

409
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 2: It's crazy, that's.

410
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,119
Speaker 1: Crazy, and we're just in may right, things to improve

411
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 1: therapies and early detection, breast cancer is increasingly treatable. Despite

412
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 1: these improvements, breast cancer is now the leading cause of

413
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:19,160
Speaker 1: cancer death among Black women, according to a new report

414
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 1: by the American Cancer Society, and black women are now

415
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 1: forty one percent more likely to die from breast cancer

416
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 1: than white women. Trying to take us out, despite but

417
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 1: despite the lower risk of being diagnosed for the disease.

418
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 2: Right.

419
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 1: This is partly because Black women are more likely to

420
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: be diagnosed with breast cancer at a later stage when

421
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,520
Speaker 1: it is harder to treat.

422
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,879
Speaker 2: Gee, I when do I Let's think about some of.

423
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 1: The things that account for these disparities, right, we have

424
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 1: Black women who are statistically.

425
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:51,199
Speaker 2: More likely serious topic And I'm laughing, no, And.

426
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: I know to anycent grace, it's okay, because I know, like,

427
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,040
Speaker 1: in a sense, it's how you deal, right, Yes, it's

428
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 1: how you deal. And I know that about you, yes,

429
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 1: And I've learned that about you right, right, And sometimes

430
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,600
Speaker 1: you have to laugh so that you don't cry exactly,

431
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 1: And I get it, trust me, I understand.

432
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 2: Don't worry here. Oh yeah, okay.

433
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:19,959
Speaker 1: Black women are statistically more likely to have diabetes, heart disease,

434
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 1: and obesity, and are less likely to breastfeed after childbirth birth,

435
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 1: which are all risk factors for breast cancer. Which is

436
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I hear it. That is because I

437
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: know every Black mam I know has don't know, I

438
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: probably know maybe one who hasn't who hasn't. Right, exactly

439
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 1: when I met Grace, Grace came into my makeup for

440
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 1: the first time when she was two weeks postpartum and

441
00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: made a commitment to me to come here.

442
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 2: And I said, girl, you had the baby how long ago?

443
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,520
Speaker 2: Seven days? I said, you better go sit down. You

444
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 2: know you're Nigeria. And mom would have been like, girl,

445
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 2: where are you going? But but yeah, so there.

446
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: And they're also more likely than there than white counterparts

447
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 1: to have with inadequate health insurance or access to health

448
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 1: care facilities, which may affect screening, follow up care, and

449
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: the completion of therapy, which is essentially what you were

450
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 1: experiencing in your journey to an extent on what saved

451
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 1: you was the fact that your husband did have really

452
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:20,159
Speaker 1: good insurance. Black women are also disproportionately affected more by

453
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 1: aggressive subtypes such as triple negative breast cancer and inflammatory

454
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 1: breast cancer, and they're more likely to be diagnosed at

455
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 1: younger ages and more advanced stages of cancer. I have

456
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 1: a cousin thirty years old diagnosed with a very aggressive

457
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 1: breast cancer again, had to have both breasts removed and

458
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,440
Speaker 1: at thirty. At thirty, we just celebrated her one year

459
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,120
Speaker 1: cancer free. Wow anniversaries, So shout out to my cousin

460
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 1: Shane for that. But it's just one of those things

461
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 1: where you just never think is going to be you.

462
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 1: So what were you feeling in that moment when you.

463
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 2: Got the call?

464
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 1: How did you sit in that after you received the

465
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 1: phone call from I guess the first doctor and then

466
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 1: eventually your friend who is your obgu I n Like,

467
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: What's what goes through your mind in that moment?

468
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 2: Is it like your life flashes before your eyes? Is

469
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 2: it I'm going to fight? What do you feel?

470
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 1: Because I'm sure there was a rollercoaster of emotions. Well,

471
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: when the first doctor called, I was upset because who

472
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 1: are you calling? R Like I don't know more angry? Yeah,

473
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:23,479
Speaker 1: and why would you speak that on me? That's how

474
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,640
Speaker 1: I felt. It was earlier in the day. By the way,

475
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 1: the same day and my friend, my friend ended up

476
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 1: texting me. She's like she text me, she said, hey,

477
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: what you doing. And I was like, oh shit, oh yeah.

478
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 2: And so she calls and she tells me and I'm

479
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,160
Speaker 2: like okay, and she's like, well, you're taking it well,

480
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:50,119
Speaker 2: and I said yeah. At that moment, I had no

481
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,120
Speaker 2: option not to, like, so you're more of a practical

482
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 2: like this is what it is. This is what it is,

483
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:01,680
Speaker 2: and emotions come after, gotcha, And and she was so shocked.

484
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 2: She was like and I was like, yeah, I mean

485
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 2: here we are, here, we are, So what's next, Like

486
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 2: what's the plan? And I think almost right then, I'm

487
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,879
Speaker 2: a bea cup. So if they did a lumpectomy, I

488
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,640
Speaker 2: will look crazy. So I knew automatically, like okay, I'm

489
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 2: cutting my breast off and I don't know. I'm not

490
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 2: tied to them, so it didn't I didn't feel anything

491
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 2: about it, and I later that's how my company, my

492
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 2: nonprofit came about, just because like, I'm not attached to beauty,

493
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 2: but I do know from what I do being a

494
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,880
Speaker 2: makeup artist, Like it's a thing like and it makes

495
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 2: people feel amazing, And in that moment, I automatically thought, Okay,

496
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 2: like if I at the time thinking of chemo and

497
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 2: all of that, if I need to do it, okay,

498
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 2: I'll put a wig on and draw my brows on,

499
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 2: like it's not a thing for me. So it just

500
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 2: didn't hit me in that moment, like, Okay, this is life.

501
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 1: Let's move So you're so it's interesting when I spoke

502
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 1: to you, you know a couple of times after that,

503
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 1: I don't remember if it was before or after your

504
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 1: cancer diagnosis, but you had called me and you said,

505
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: I feel like I need to do something, like there's

506
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: a business that's looming in my mind that I feel

507
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: like God is placing on my heart to do. And

508
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 1: what do you think about this? Was that before or after? That?

509
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,639
Speaker 2: Was the before that? That was different? So it was

510
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 2: a different business that we were talking about.

511
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,159
Speaker 1: And I thought about this as I knew you were

512
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 1: coming on, because I'm like, wow, I wonder when we

513
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 1: had that conversation and I was giving you some advice

514
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 1: about how I felt like you should approach that business,

515
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: and You're like, you know, God is just placing on

516
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: me to do this, and I just I think I

517
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 1: should start this business, and I'm like, girl, if you're

518
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: going to do it, do it.

519
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 2: And then cut to you get your.

520
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: Diagnosis, and then you said to me that business that

521
00:28:56,640 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 1: I think God wanted me to start, is that actually

522
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 1: a nonprofit where I would be working with women who

523
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 1: are cancers survivors are erecting or going through it to

524
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 1: make them feel like themselves again. So you can share

525
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: with me what that's looking like. So this is now propelled.

526
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 1: And the crazy part about this grace that I want

527
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 1: people to understand is that you're going through something where

528
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 1: it's so it's it's to so many people with it's devastating, right,

529
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 1: And I'm sure it is for you as you navigate

530
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 1: this and you're dealing with your emotions, but then you're

531
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 1: also thinking of how you can impact others through your

532
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: story and your journey that you're still so freshly going through.

533
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 2: Like you text me on April eighth, Yeah, surgery was

534
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 2: twenty fifth of April or was it of April? Right?

535
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 1: This is May now, so that you're literally fresh out

536
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: of surgery. I didn't even want to ask you to

537
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: come on to the show. Now. You were one of

538
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 1: the people who I eventually wanted to have on but

539
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 1: not like now, but nowcause you're a really in the

540
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 1: think of it. So I'm like, Grace is not going

541
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 1: to probably be in like a mental or emotional space

542
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: to want to talk about this now. But in the

543
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: process you're like, you know what, God, Like like God,

544
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: why me?

545
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 2: Why? Why me? Why now?

546
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: And it's just amazing to me that you're thinking of

547
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 1: everyone else as you're navigating such a devastating process.

548
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 2: I think that's the Aquarius humanitarian like like and I'm like,

549
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 2: what is that?

550
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 1: Like, w how does it what makes you feel like

551
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 1: this is the next step, like I need to do

552
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: this nonprofit and work with women simultaneously essentially right while

553
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 1: I'm going through this. I think that hits differently for

554
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 1: women who are survivors or going through the process. It's like,

555
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 1: here's someone who wants to help to make me feel

556
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 1: like myself again, even if it's just a surface level

557
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: a brow or you know, a lash or something. You

558
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: know what put that on your heart in that moment

559
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 1: to do this now.

560
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 2: I think it was maybe after a week or two

561
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 2: and it just hit me like a ton of bricks

562
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 2: that this is what I'm supposed to do. I've been

563
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 2: wanting to teach women how to do makeup masterclass style,

564
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 2: but it just seemed impersonal, having a large class, and

565
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 2: I just didn't do it. I didn't do it. That's

566
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 2: just I didn't feel like that was my mission. And

567
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 2: I remember shortly after the diagnosis and it hit me

568
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 2: that I'm fine. I think I'm fine in that moment.

569
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 2: I think I'm fine because I'm not tied to beauty

570
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 2: like what we know, cancer and the chemo and your

571
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 2: brows and your lashes and your hair goes away. And

572
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 2: in that moment, I thought, Okay, what's next. But that's

573
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 2: how I think. And it's because I can get up

574
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 2: and put a brow on or a lash easy. And

575
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 2: I thought about and I was like, wow, what about

576
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 2: the women who can't, like women who come to us

577
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 2: for the birthday parties and weddings because you're everyday girl. Yeah,

578
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 2: you can do it because you want to. You know,

579
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 2: you're a former makeup artist, like you can. We know

580
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 2: how to do things. So that's how Grace and I

581
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 2: also bonded. We were former Mac girl.

582
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 1: MA was like the makeup authority and they still are,

583
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: you know, low key low key we said it, but.

584
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 2: So I thought about them, and I'm like, wow, this

585
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 2: must be devastating, because I felt like I was supposed

586
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 2: to be devastated by it and I wasn't. But it

587
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 2: is a real thing. And I said, that's what I'm

588
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 2: supposed to do, and I'm supposed to teach women how

589
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 2: to just look like themselves again. And I reached out

590
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:46,239
Speaker 2: to some major brands, the big brands, and told them

591
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 2: my story and they were on board so to fill

592
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 2: you know, the goodie bags with And so you were

593
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 2: already like absolutely round running with business. It's not just

594
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 2: like places on my I'll figure it out, Like we

595
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 2: got goodie bags coming already. Girls. Okay, it's been improved

596
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 2: by the state, and like it's a thing.

597
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: Yet.

598
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, Survivor's Beauty, I love it dot org and you know,

599
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 2: hopefully by October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness month, will

600
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 2: we'll have our first masterclass Survivor's Beauty.

601
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: So that beauty, that's wow. Yeah, I'm proud of you, man,

602
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. I feel like if I

603
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: were in your shoes, I probably like you'd be picking

604
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: me up off the floor. You know, there's just so

605
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 1: many ways and right until it happens, you know, God

606
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 1: forbid when it happens to someone like you, just don't

607
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 1: know how you're going to really exist in that space

608
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 1: because I just knew it wasn't you know. But it's

609
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 1: also a testament to your your faith in God and

610
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 1: listening and being still and you know, thinking what the

611
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: higher purpose is here? What's the positivity in it? Looking

612
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 1: on the bright side, Like, that's something that I really

613
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 1: applaud you for. And I think a lot of people

614
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 1: can take a page from your book. When you're hit

615
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:02,480
Speaker 1: with something that completely can derail your entire life, how

616
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: do you maintain control of that? And like you said,

617
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: you're the person that likes the power and control. So

618
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 1: it's like, how do I this let cancer control me?

619
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 1: And that's how control this care You may cancer a bit.

620
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 1: She was like, listen, what you're not about to.

621
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,440
Speaker 2: Do, okay, is disrupt my world at all.

622
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: What you're gonna do is make me impact this world absolutely.

623
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 2: That's the kicker. I literally said, like whoever put that

624
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 2: out there, put that on me the devil miss like periods. Okay,

625
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 2: it happened, cut it out, gone goodbye, and a new org.

626
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:39,359
Speaker 1: That's it And it's only going to elevate your life,

627
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:43,439
Speaker 1: your profile, what you do for others, and then also

628
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,360
Speaker 1: elevate the lives of women who really really need that supporter,

629
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 1: because within that it's more than makeup. Right, Yeah, it's

630
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 1: going to be more than beauty. You have people who

631
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 1: can relate to a similar situation that you've been through,

632
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 1: that you're going through in itself. There's like a sisterhood,

633
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,080
Speaker 1: there's a bond, there's's families that will be connected the

634
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 1: whole community around it.

635
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:02,239
Speaker 2: And you have time.

636
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: I mean this is made by October. Oh my gosh,

637
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 1: I can't wait to help you spread the word and

638
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 1: get it out there.

639
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:08,320
Speaker 2: I'm excited.

640
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 1: So I'm excited for that. I'm excited for that phase

641
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 1: of your journey. How do you or what makes you

642
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 1: feel supported?

643
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:22,320
Speaker 2: Right now? Wow, everybody, I'm not gonna leave the tissues

644
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: on the floor, but I can pick them up now.

645
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:30,400
Speaker 2: It's all right when I say, you really don't know

646
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:34,919
Speaker 2: who your tribe is until not to say until bad

647
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 2: things happen, but people really show up, show up. Yeah,

648
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 2: and don't right, I was about to say, so what

649
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 2: makes me feel supported? Just people showing up? You know,

650
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 2: the text, the calls, the action, the actionable items. You know,

651
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 2: I couldn't be more grateful. So there's no one thing

652
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 2: that makes me feel supported. It's just that I feel it. Yeah,

653
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 2: from my community.

654
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you being your line of work, you work

655
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: for yourself.

656
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that's an added layer of potential stress, you know,

657
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,839
Speaker 2: not having not having income, being able to work.

658
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 1: I was about to come over there and beat you

659
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 1: down because I heard Grace was about to go do

660
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,879
Speaker 1: makeup at some point, like a week or two out

661
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 1: of surgery, and I was like, girl, it was down.

662
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 2: But at the surgery was the twenty fifth, the client

663
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 2: was the twenty eighth.

664
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 1: Going, now.

665
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 2: Tell me what you thought, Grace, I can tell you

666
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 2: what it was. It wasn't what it wasn't going to be.

667
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 2: I thought that, okay because I had I had two

668
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 2: C sections and was a you know, hop back up.

669
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 1: Well, oh shoot, I didn't even realize you had to

670
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 1: see sechon you.

671
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 2: Came to see me. Yeah. But that's the thing I

672
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 2: was able to do that sperience. Yeah, I was able

673
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 2: to move, and so I was like, I'm gonna be

674
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 2: able to move. And it was the first night I

675
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 2: was like, I'm fine. I didn't even let my client know.

676
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 2: Finally let her know, and she's like, absolutely not. And

677
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,240
Speaker 2: it's like, I'm going you won't have a makeup artists.

678
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it. Like I'm not gonna send anybody.

679
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 2: I'm coming to do it. And she was like, I

680
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 2: can't fight you, but I'm telling you no. I said, well,

681
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 2: I'm just going to show up. Oh my gosh, it's

682
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,359
Speaker 2: either that or you're not gonna have a makeup artist.

683
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 2: And Grace is a bully. Okay, she's a bully for

684
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 2: the people she loves. Absolutely, there we go and I

685
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:36,760
Speaker 2: was fine, but I was on morphine. No, I didn't

686
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 2: realize what was in your body what was in my body.

687
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 2: And that night morphine was starting to leave. And the

688
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 2: next morning I was burning and I was like I

689
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:49,840
Speaker 2: texted my client. I was like, I can't do it,

690
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 2: and she's like, it was the drugs. Liter said, it

691
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 2: was the drugs.

692
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:53,800
Speaker 1: I get it.

693
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 2: And I sent her my good colleague Cherie, and I

694
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 2: was like, what was I think? Yeah, wow, trying to

695
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:03,399
Speaker 2: show up. Wow.

696
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: But I understand because again, like you have you're in

697
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: a position now where I know you started to go

698
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 1: fund me page, and I know that took a lot

699
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 1: for you to do because you're like, I don't want

700
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 1: to have to ask for donations or anything like that's

701
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 1: just not And I feel the same way as an

702
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 1: entrepreneur when I was a makeup artist, and it's just

703
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:21,280
Speaker 1: like we were hustling, Like you pick up the client.

704
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 1: You have your weddings, you have your people scheduled, you

705
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,360
Speaker 1: have your everyday girls, you have your loyal clients. So

706
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 1: that's what you're accustomed to, and that's an added layer

707
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 1: that this cancer has affected for you. So I know

708
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 1: that you're aiming to get back into the space where

709
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:40,320
Speaker 1: you're doing what you love and that you're meeting with

710
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 1: your clients again and you're making them feel beautiful again.

711
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 2: Little by little. Yeah, Yeah, I'm glad that you have

712
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 2: realized that this is a little by little little, a

713
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 2: little by.

714
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 1: Little kind of thing. What do you other black women

715
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 1: or just women in general to know about breast's health.

716
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,759
Speaker 1: Now that you've been through this process.

717
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 2: It's real. Everything is is not real until it's real.

718
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 2: And now that I am on the it's real side,

719
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 2: Listen to your body. You may not know what something

720
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 2: is supposed to feel like, but go ask you know,

721
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,360
Speaker 2: and even when you ask going they tell you textbook

722
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,600
Speaker 2: why this may not be it. Listen to yourself. Listen

723
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 2: to yourself.

724
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 1: I always say people either say it's gut or God,

725
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 1: whatever you think it is, whatever, that that thing is

726
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,399
Speaker 1: real in that in your in your chest, you steel

727
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 1: right there in your stomach that that's what we've listened to.

728
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I'm so happy that you listened over and

729
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 2: over because it didn't just stop at checking. It was

730
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:40,839
Speaker 2: a follow up. It was the on my own calling biopsy.

731
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 1: Location, and it was all the doors literally all the

732
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 1: door yeah that you needed in that moment and quickly expeditiously.

733
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 2: Yeah.

734
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,799
Speaker 1: I mean it was like, I know, I'm on the bed,

735
00:39:50,200 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 1: I'm a surgery, I'm here, what's next?

736
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:56,440
Speaker 2: Sharing my story? Nonprofit? Like the chain reaction of things,

737
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 2: and that might be keeping me sane as well, like

738
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 2: not just sitting idle, yeah, but having my mind be occupied,

739
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 2: you know.

740
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 1: Shout out to you for being obedient to whatever your

741
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: purpose is or the purpose in this moment, because I

742
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 1: don't believe that this is the purpose for your life,

743
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 1: but in this space and in this moment, I am

744
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 1: grateful that you're listening to what God's placing in your

745
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 1: heart and just know that I'm here to support you

746
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: through this. I really wanted to share your story in

747
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 1: real time, and I'm grateful that you were willing to

748
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: do this in real time so people can just take

749
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 1: heed to it. If there's nothing that anyone takes away

750
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:37,919
Speaker 1: from this our listeners today, whether it's a man, a woman,

751
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:43,359
Speaker 1: somewhere in between, whoever you are, encourage someone you love

752
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 1: to go ahead and schedule.

753
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 2: That mammogram and they follow up of it.

754
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 1: Follow up and be diligent and listen to whatever God

755
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 1: is telling you to do or that gut feeling that

756
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,640
Speaker 1: you have, because it can be a lifesaver. Absolutely, it

757
00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 1: can be a lifesaver. All right, Grace, thank you for

758
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 1: sharing your story. Thank you to stick around a little

759
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 1: bit another portion of the show. We have this listener

760
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 1: letters so we can see what they're writing in about today,

761
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:10,839
Speaker 1: you know, can lighten the mood, give a little two

762
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,400
Speaker 1: cents depending on the story, child, because sometimes these stories

763
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 1: be moved.

764
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 2: They'll have you too, you know. But we're gonna take

765
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 2: a quick break.

766
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 1: We're gonna pay some bills, and then we're gonna get

767
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 1: back with Grace as we talk about more listener letters

768
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 1: and get into the end of the show with the

769
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 1: moment of truth.

770
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:25,359
Speaker 2: Stick around, y'all.

771
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,439
Speaker 1: All right, we're back and it's time for listener letters.

772
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: This is the moment where you know, we get into

773
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,800
Speaker 1: your business a little bit only because you shared though, Okay,

774
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:46,320
Speaker 1: because y'all wrote in weed in a I'm just kidding,

775
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 1: all right, first starters, I love you both.

776
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 2: I love the content and the podcast. Thank you so much.

777
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 1: I'll let de vou know. But we got grace today.

778
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,440
Speaker 1: So let's see what y'all talking about. This is in

779
00:41:56,520 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 1: reference to the April tenth episode They are, They're Your

780
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: sacrifice is not your kids.

781
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 2: Okay.

782
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,600
Speaker 1: I'm a thirty year old single mom. My daughter is thirteen.

783
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:10,720
Speaker 1: I've come to the realization, after several tear soaked pillow nights,

784
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: that we have reached a time in her life of

785
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,800
Speaker 1: transition from my sweet baby to this young lady who's

786
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: navigating what she knows and how she's influenced by her environment.

787
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm having a difficult time allowing her to make mistakes

788
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 1: and drawing the line of trying to protect her from

789
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 1: her choices that I know the outcome of. I get

790
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: extremely frustrated when I allow her room to be independent

791
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 1: and she comes back with disobedience or wrongdoing. I feel

792
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,840
Speaker 1: alone in parenting because her father isn't present and family

793
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: doesn't know how to respect the boundaries of my parenting

794
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 1: and do things how they've done with their children. What

795
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:51,400
Speaker 1: advice do you have to have better communication with my

796
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 1: daughter knowing when to step back or step up with discipline. Sincerely,

797
00:42:56,280 --> 00:43:00,479
Speaker 1: a mom who's mf and tied. She said, Dad, she's

798
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 1: an efantie. So for some backstory, Grace. We were talking

799
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: on an episode DEVALAINI about sacrifices and when our parents

800
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 1: and I say our parents meaning our generation of parents

801
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 1: will kind of hit us with the I've sacrificed so

802
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,360
Speaker 1: much for you and I've sacrificed so much. And it

803
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,919
Speaker 1: had hit me one day where I was like, man,

804
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to kind of weaponize sacrifices to my

805
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,479
Speaker 1: children because they wanted to be here, Right, they didn't

806
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 1: ask to be here. They didn't ask for these sacrifices, right,

807
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 1: they didn't ask for these sacrifices. This is these are

808
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 1: things that I want to do as a parent to

809
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,879
Speaker 1: be the best parent that I can be, to give

810
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 1: my children the opportunities that I want to afford them.

811
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 1: So this was an episode of val and I did.

812
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 1: So that's what she's talking in reference too. I don't

813
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 1: have a daughter. I've heard that, you know, the Good

814
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 1: Lord has saved me from teenage daughter years because he

815
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 1: knew that I probably didn't have the strength because I've

816
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 1: been beating her asked down. So that'd be said, a

817
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 1: thirty year old single mom daughter is thirteen. How does

818
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:07,280
Speaker 1: she tow the line between being the I guess disciplinarian

819
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 1: and also allowing her daughter to make mistakes?

820
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 2: Wow, I may not be I fed up, so I

821
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:21,359
Speaker 2: would say, let her f up, but as a teenage girl,

822
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:26,000
Speaker 2: you mean, yeah, and be there for her, be there

823
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:28,800
Speaker 2: for her when she does or if she does, or

824
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 2: you can I mean all you can do is pray. Yeah,

825
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 2: to be honest with you, especially in this twenty twenty

826
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 2: four where everything easily accessible, Yeah, we're really combating so

827
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 2: many things.

828
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 1: Like I know, our parents had their share of things

829
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: that they had to worry about, right, right, but everything

830
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:51,319
Speaker 1: is so much more complex now parenting in this day

831
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 1: and age. What I'm hoping is that you know, thirteen

832
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 1: kind of gets rocky because they're starting to come into

833
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: their own they like boys, you girls? Middle age transition? Yeah,

834
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:04,320
Speaker 1: boys or girls? You know what I'm saying, it's that

835
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 1: middle age transition where Deval had kind of equated it

836
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 1: to after working with all of his mentees for so

837
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 1: many years that those middle school ages. Yeah, Okay, we've

838
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: started those conversations for sure.

839
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, so she's going to have to do this thing. Yeah.

840
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 1: So it's like you reach that middle school ages where

841
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 1: you kids can either go left or right. And what

842
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that you are doing with your daughter is

843
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:31,320
Speaker 1: developing a relationship where there's a comfort level that she

844
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: has to talk to you about whatever it is.

845
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 2: But in that, like Grace said, kids are going to

846
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 2: make mistakes.

847
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,320
Speaker 1: They're going to try, Like I know who I was

848
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: as a teenager and having the overbearing parents where I'm

849
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:51,880
Speaker 1: just like, kids are going to find a way to

850
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,919
Speaker 1: do the things that they want to do. So I say, sis,

851
00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 1: keep fighting the good fights. I think it's just one

852
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 1: of those things where we have to have constant conversations

853
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 1: and making it a safe space for her and if

854
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 1: she does mess up, try to seat yes, give her

855
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:08,320
Speaker 1: grace and try to get her to see the lesson

856
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 1: in it, right, you know, not necessarily the punishment or

857
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: the disciplinary action, because that will tend to make her

858
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 1: want to close up more or not share, to hide

859
00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 1: or exactly. So that open line of communication is so necessary,

860
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,239
Speaker 1: and you really want to toll the line between being

861
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:30,400
Speaker 1: like that that friend confidant, but also allowing them to

862
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 1: make the mistakes that that may happen inevitable. So, yeah,

863
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:37,800
Speaker 1: Jackson turned thirteen and I just look at him and

864
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:40,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, first of all, probably by the end of

865
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: the summer, he's going to be taller than me.

866
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 2: Make sure I can't be that door off the hinges

867
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,840
Speaker 2: off the hinges. You know, phones will be charged on

868
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:52,359
Speaker 2: the charger at night, and the community family charger controls

869
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:53,800
Speaker 2: and tracking and all of that.

870
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,839
Speaker 1: I mean, there's just so many, so many different things.

871
00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:01,560
Speaker 1: Just the other day, I was scrolling on Instagram aimlessly

872
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:06,400
Speaker 1: and came across a video of a woman saying, you know,

873
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 1: three things to make sure that your children aren't doing

874
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 1: while they're having video game time or something like that.

875
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,439
Speaker 1: And one of those games, if it's Fortnite or something,

876
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 1: you can speak to people through the video games. And

877
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 1: she's like, make sure that that function is turned off,

878
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: So your children having conversations with a stranger. I'm just like,

879
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 1: wait in a second, they talk to people on Fortnite.

880
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 2: Too, like chat room.

881
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 1: Oh my true a well, chat rooms. I was definitely

882
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 1: doing that shit too, It's just a different version of it.

883
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,320
Speaker 1: So I instantly called Jackson to my room and he's like,

884
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:36,720
Speaker 1: what happened?

885
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:36,840
Speaker 5: Mom?

886
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 1: Man? I was like, the boy's talking to anybody on Fortnite?

887
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,239
Speaker 1: Can you make sure that you turn that function off?

888
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 1: And he's like, that's never been on, and I was like,

889
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 1: who do they talk to? And they were liked about Jackson,

890
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:47,760
Speaker 1: just like nobody. We don't even have Mike's for Fortnite.

891
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 2: We just play. I'm like, all right, and if you

892
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 2: ever get Mike's, let me know.

893
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 1: So to make sure that function is turned off because

894
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: they are praying on children left and right, and we

895
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 1: just have to be in our p's and q's and

896
00:47:58,120 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 1: as technologies continues to advance, always something else that we're

897
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: going to have to.

898
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 2: Track them there under that's inhumane. But I personally don't

899
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 2: have time to go to the news asking for my child. Sure,

900
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 2: I need to go to work to kill somebody.

901
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 1: We too cute for jail. You know what I'm saying,

902
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: look at me and raised. All right, we take a

903
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,879
Speaker 1: look at the camera. We're too cute for jail because

904
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:21,720
Speaker 1: I will kill somebody.

905
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 2: All right, good luck to you sis.

906
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for writing in and if you

907
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:29,400
Speaker 1: want to be featured as a future Listener letter, we

908
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 1: cannot wait to hear from y'all, so go ahead and

909
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:35,319
Speaker 1: email us at dead Ass Advice at gmail dot com.

910
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 1: All Right, we're rolling on to the moment of truth

911
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 1: now as we wrap things up, we're talking with my girl, Amazing,

912
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 1: Grace Amazing, and we are talking about her journey through

913
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:50,040
Speaker 1: discovering and uh treating.

914
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 2: And fighting and beating whooping ass that's a fact, and

915
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:58,800
Speaker 2: her new nonprofit called Beauty.

916
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 1: What do you want people to know? What's that takeaway?

917
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 1: What's that moment of truth you want to share with

918
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 1: us today? Wow, moment of truth my mind and what

919
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 1: should be everyone's is listening to yourself like that in

920
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 1: a lot of situations, in every scenario, whether it's a

921
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 1: restaurant you're supposed to go to or not, or taking

922
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 1: a visit to someone like that initial, that gut feeling

923
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:31,839
Speaker 1: that first person is there for a reason. It can

924
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,920
Speaker 1: save your life, it can save your family's lives, you know.

925
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:42,760
Speaker 1: So that's my truth is literally listening to that voice

926
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 1: God put in you. Therefore a reason can save your

927
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,720
Speaker 1: life and it can change so many lives in the process.

928
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 1: I guess my moment of truth as we wrap up

929
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 1: today is find out how you can be of support

930
00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: to people who are going through life altering things.

931
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:04,840
Speaker 2: Have grace for them in the moments that you know

932
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:05,760
Speaker 2: require grace.

933
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 1: Really just extend yourself in whatever capacity or whatever need

934
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,400
Speaker 1: they may need met in that moment. It doesn't have

935
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,840
Speaker 1: to be financial. It could be time, it could be

936
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:23,040
Speaker 1: a meal, it could be you know, what are some

937
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:24,840
Speaker 1: things that were helpful for you grace, just like.

938
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 2: Like my house, I have no self done with y'all.

939
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 1: I was just trying to think of, like in that

940
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,839
Speaker 1: moment when you feel so helpless, it's like, what can

941
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 1: I do? What can I take off of her plate?

942
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 2: Right now?

943
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,800
Speaker 1: I'm thinking grace, the wife, Grace, the mom, grace, the

944
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 1: the entrepreneur, Like how can I alleviate something from you?

945
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 2: And I'm thinking about.

946
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 1: I think of your husband, I'm thinking of your children, Like, okay,

947
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:52,800
Speaker 1: if I can help with like the I don't worry

948
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,279
Speaker 1: about dinner for like two three nights.

949
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, what's just something that'll help, you.

950
00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 1: Know, to just really think about how you can be

951
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 1: of help to people who are going through some really

952
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 1: life changing things.

953
00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 2: Memes, memes, help you know, and something so simple like

954
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 2: we you know, on Instagram and we're sharing memes and

955
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 2: things with people. And I have a I've never met

956
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:18,319
Speaker 2: her in real in person yet, but she's going through

957
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 2: a form of cancer and I asked her what can

958
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:27,240
Speaker 2: I do? And she's like, I like memes. I like reels, Okay, cool,

959
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 2: say less because that's what I do, send them off

960
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 2: and off. I think I said something recently to us,

961
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 2: like just in the informational like did you try this?

962
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 2: Did you think of that? I'm like, I have my

963
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 2: friend in Jamaica. She's like, sourcing sour stop leaves.

964
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, suddenly leave, send me that whatever you know,

965
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:47,360
Speaker 1: something back home those good back home remedies.

966
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:48,280
Speaker 2: I'm like anything.

967
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 1: At this point, it's like everyone's grasping and straws. But

968
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 1: to make sure we help. Everyone wants to help. And

969
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:56,360
Speaker 1: it's interesting.

970
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 2: And I did the Caring Bridge because it was easy

971
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,240
Speaker 2: for me to write everything in one spot, yes, versus

972
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:05,880
Speaker 2: a thousand people asking what can they do? And I

973
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:08,399
Speaker 2: get it. Everyone's coming from a place of love. Yes,

974
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 2: But in those moments it's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot.

975
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 2: We have to pace ourselves. Yes, and then's funny means right,

976
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 2: the informational things, it's great, But a lot of times

977
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 2: in that moment, we don't want to think about Yes, reality, yes,

978
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 2: you know, so something to take your mind off, which

979
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:33,240
Speaker 2: was great, the cooking, and people were sending me shows

980
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 2: to watch. I finally watched Bridgerton, which I get it,

981
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 2: I get the hype, you know, but you know, just

982
00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 2: things to take your mind off of that amazing in

983
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:48,719
Speaker 2: that moment. Amazing grace, my girl. What's something you're dead

984
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 2: ass about?

985
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 5: Oh?

986
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 2: Who I am as a person? I'm dead ass about. Yes,

987
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 2: I am dead ass about who I am as a person.

988
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 2: You never know. Be good, do good, because you never

989
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,800
Speaker 2: know when life hits you. I have learned, and I

990
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:09,080
Speaker 2: am learning in this moment. Everything that's happening is coming

991
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,319
Speaker 2: back because of who I am as a person. For sure,

992
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that, and I don't do things because

993
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:19,800
Speaker 2: of because of that. But people learned because doing this

994
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 2: and you were like, Grace, you don't realize what you

995
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 2: do for people. And I'm like, I'm just doing it

996
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:25,760
Speaker 2: because that's.

997
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 1: That's who you are, who I am, that's who you are,

998
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 1: and that's what connected me to you and drew me

999
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 1: to you.

1000
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,360
Speaker 2: And I was like, I need her in my life.

1001
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 2: I'm deads about the people who I love. There you

1002
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 2: go and you are one of them. Thank you, And

1003
00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 2: we're fighting together. Make sure you put the eye in

1004
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,839
Speaker 2: front of that and do love you. It's I love

1005
00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 2: you ownership.

1006
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 1: I love you your mine. I love you your mine,

1007
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:49,320
Speaker 1: your mind, and we're fighting this together.

1008
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 2: Grace, Like I did you know what I'm saying? You know,

1009
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:59,760
Speaker 2: I just figured it was appropriate. And I we're black because.

1010
00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 3: Only because I know once a mad girl, like I said,

1011
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 3: always a mag You're always dressed in black for you today,

1012
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:09,439
Speaker 3: but low key was swimming because I could fit them again. Great, thanks, Okay,

1013
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,359
Speaker 3: I dressed up for you today grades we were having

1014
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 3: a moment. I love it and I love you and

1015
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 3: thank you so much for being here today.

1016
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:17,360
Speaker 2: Thank you for having that. Absolutely if people want to

1017
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:20,239
Speaker 2: find you, where can they find you? Oh man, don't

1018
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 2: come to my house. Don't come to her house don't

1019
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:28,839
Speaker 2: come to mind either. A graceful artistry on Instagram that's

1020
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 2: my Makeup World and nonprofit Survivors Beauty dot Org.

1021
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:36,880
Speaker 1: Survivors Beauty dot Org. That's where you can find my

1022
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:38,759
Speaker 1: girl Grace. And you know where you can find us

1023
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 1: on Patreon of course if you're a subscriber, we're having

1024
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:44,800
Speaker 1: lots of fun over there. See exclusive dead Ass podcasts,

1025
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 1: video content as well as more Ellis family content, and

1026
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:50,279
Speaker 1: you can find us on social media at dead Ass

1027
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 1: the Podcast.

1028
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 2: You can find me at Kadeen I Am Don't forget

1029
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 2: to vow too.

1030
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 1: He's open there still, you know, on and off, but

1031
00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:58,719
Speaker 1: you can find them an Im Deval and if you're

1032
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: listening on Apple podcast, we still want you to rate,

1033
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 1: review and subscribe. Thank you so much for listening today,

1034
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 1: Spread the words, spread the awareness, and yeah dead adds.

1035
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 2: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and

1036
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 2: its produced by Donorapinya and Trible. Follow the podcast on

1037
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:21,560
Speaker 2: social media at dead Ass the Podcast and never miss

1038
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:21,839
Speaker 2: a Thing