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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, is this Lyle? Yes? Who is this?

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Speaker 3: My name is Olivia.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe I made it on Olivia. What's going on?

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Speaker 2: How can I get you today?

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Speaker 4: Well?

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Speaker 1: I've texted him about a couple of things. What do

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Speaker 1: you want to hear about, Lyle?

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Speaker 2: Well, I guess what caught my eyes? Rather Sorry, you

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Speaker 2: can call me whatever. You can call me the wrong name.

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Speaker 2: I do it to people all the time. I couldn't complain.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you did text me a bunch of different things.

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Speaker 2: Let's go with the most recent one. You wanted to

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Speaker 2: talk about committing tax evasion.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, I've been doing that for a couple

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Speaker 1: of years now, and I've been dating somebody who is

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Speaker 1: a much more responsible person than me and was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: when it was the last time you did taxes? And

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Speaker 1: I was like, m that was a great question. So

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Speaker 1: he's making an appointment for us to all go get

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Speaker 1: our taxes done together. And I'm terrified because I don't

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Speaker 1: know if the IRS is going to be mad at

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Speaker 1: me about that shit. And frankly, I don't really understand

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Speaker 1: why I have to give the government a bunch of

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Speaker 1: money because they have so much more money than me.

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Speaker 1: And also like, at this point in my life, I

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Speaker 1: don't I don't do anything that, like like I don't

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Speaker 1: even own a car right now, So like why why taxes?

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Speaker 1: Why taxes?

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Speaker 5: Why?

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Speaker 2: I But okay, Helen, I have thoughts about you just said.

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Speaker 2: But just just to like just to say this, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna just list off everything that you texted me. You said,

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Speaker 2: my name is Olivia, I'm twenty two. I want to

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Speaker 2: talk about having three separate families, and then you said

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Speaker 2: we could also talk about how I am a pothead

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Speaker 2: who is dating a cop and I committed tax evasion.

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Speaker 2: So I mean, that's a lot of stuff. But anyway,

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Speaker 2: I agree with you. Look, here's the thing. I don't

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Speaker 2: you know what. I think we should be allowed to

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Speaker 2: not pay taxes as a form of protest against the government.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what. I don't I don't know what

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Speaker 2: I'm talking about. I don't know what im talking about.

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Speaker 2: I shouldn't have said that. I don't know what I'm

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Speaker 2: talking about. Everybody have five hundred comments.

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Speaker 1: No you're cooking.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, I'm not. I don't know what I'm

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Speaker 2: talking about. I'm stupid. Anyway, get the.

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Speaker 1: Ghak manifesto going no, no, nobody stopped paying your taxes?

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, I I took a walk in the

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Speaker 2: park today. I have to pay taxes.

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Speaker 1: Oh shit, See I didn't leave my house today. Should

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Speaker 1: I have to pay today's taxes?

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Speaker 2: Maybe not? Maybe should? Like the government, Well, here's what

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Speaker 2: is should they should keep just they should keep track

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Speaker 2: of how much public services you actually use and then

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Speaker 2: make your taxes based off of that.

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Speaker 1: Oh see, but now you have like, well, I guess

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Speaker 1: I don't know when we consider that, like is the

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Speaker 1: government watching? Is it? Like? Probably? And by it like,

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Speaker 1: do I mean some larger hypothetical entity that that doesn't

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Speaker 1: really exist, you know in a tangible, finite way. Of

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Speaker 1: course I do. Of course, that's what I mean. Do

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Speaker 1: you mean you said, damn?

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Speaker 2: Do you do you make any money?

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Speaker 1: I do make money? Yeah, no I do.

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Speaker 2: Sis Do you make a lot of money?

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Speaker 1: No? No, no no. See That's my other thing is

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Speaker 1: I don't get why they're like, like I don't over

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Speaker 1: here sweating about disappointment. You know, how much moneykaya jump

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Speaker 1: up my ass?

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Speaker 2: How long you how long have you gone without paying taxes?

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Speaker 1: Like three years? Four years? Maybe five?

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Speaker 4: All right?

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Speaker 2: Well, you're twenty two, so I mean you've only really

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Speaker 2: been in adults.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever paid taxes.

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Speaker 2: All right, how much money do you think you owe?

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Speaker 1: I've never made more than minimum wage, So my thing

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Speaker 1: is I probably would get money, but maybe not anymore

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Speaker 1: since I haven't been doing the taxes. Well, hold on,

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Speaker 1: I have in filing.

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Speaker 2: What do you do for a living?

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Speaker 1: I mean, like, I don't do anything in particular right now.

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Speaker 1: I used to work at restaurants. I do child care sometimes, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: fancy nothing like you know, impressive, make like apartment money

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Speaker 1: you know?

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Speaker 2: Okay, but they but if you work for a restaurant,

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Speaker 2: they they when they when the restaurant pays you, they

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Speaker 2: take the taxes out of your paycheck already, right, but.

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Speaker 1: You still have to file your taxes.

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Speaker 5: You actually you might get get a tax rechurch.

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Speaker 1: But my thing is, like do they get mad if

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Speaker 1: you don't file?

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Speaker 2: Why would they get mad? They don't that that they.

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Speaker 1: Get to like you should be. They want to know, basically,

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Speaker 1: they don't. They just want to know. As soon as

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Speaker 1: I make enough money to get taxed. Also, what if

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Speaker 1: I do what if this whole time I've been like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's the other thing is I So when I worked

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Speaker 1: at restaurants and stuff, right, you get a paycheck, you

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Speaker 1: get taxed on that. But if you work childcare and

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Speaker 1: you do weird things and odd jobs and get paid

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Speaker 1: them to the table a lot, you don't really get

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Speaker 1: taxed on that. But you still have to kind of

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Speaker 1: report at least some of that. Because that's my thing,

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Speaker 1: is like what if the irs is like start answering

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Speaker 1: questions about where your money comes from. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to answer those questions.

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Speaker 2: Did you get paid in cash?

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Speaker 1: Sometimes? So like that obviously that doesn't exist, that never happened.

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Speaker 1: But like a lot of people these days send a

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Speaker 1: lot of money through like Venmo and things like that,

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Speaker 1: and that's pretty easily trackable. So for example, if I

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Speaker 1: watch somebody's kid for a while and then they send

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Speaker 1: me payments through like Venmo, or even if they like

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Speaker 1: sent it through like my bank, you know, through the

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Speaker 1: zell or whatever, it still like exists. I arrest was

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Speaker 1: ever like this bitch doesn't pay taxes? Why and started

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Speaker 1: looking at things. I don't want that.

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Speaker 2: Listen, you are probably fine.

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Speaker 1: Probably okay. So when I go in and I tell

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Speaker 1: them that the gecko. Like, they're like, hey, why have

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Speaker 1: you done all of this? And I'm like the gecko said,

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Speaker 1: it's fine, Please stop yelling at me.

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Speaker 4: How do you have that fine?

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Speaker 2: How do you have three families?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: I've been adopted twice?

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Speaker 2: How does that work?

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Speaker 1: One family gave me back? No shit?

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Speaker 2: How old were you? Okay? All right, so you were

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Speaker 2: born and you were put up for adoption?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I was. I like had parents, you know,

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Speaker 1: like the ones that you know I had originally, and

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Speaker 1: my dad passed away when I was younger, and then

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Speaker 1: my mom, uh lost custody and I was in foster

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Speaker 1: care for a while, and then I got adopted and

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Speaker 1: then you know, my adopted parents basically when I turned

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Speaker 1: to eighteen, they were like, hmm, this doesn't work for

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Speaker 1: us and we don't like this. And I kind of

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Speaker 1: have like a second family. Who are some teachers that

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Speaker 1: both worked at my school when I was in high school,

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Speaker 1: and they were like, hey, what's going on? How's life?

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Speaker 1: And I was like not great, not great at all,

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Speaker 1: and they were kind of like, come to be a

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Speaker 1: part of our family. And so, you know, now I'm

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Speaker 1: a part of their family and we spend all of

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Speaker 1: the holidays together and all that kind of stuff. I

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Speaker 1: still talk to my first adopted family. They live in Hawaii, though,

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Speaker 1: and I live in New York, so that's a little

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Speaker 1: far away, kind of a long drive.

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Speaker 2: So all right, let me let me get this straight.

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Speaker 2: So you were put up for adoption when you were

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Speaker 2: seven years old.

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Speaker 1: More or less.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't adopted until I was twelve.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so you went into foster care. I so you

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Speaker 2: went into foster care when you were seven, and then

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Speaker 2: you were adopted. So you were in foster care for

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Speaker 2: five years, and then you were adopted by this family

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Speaker 2: when you were twelve. Yes, and then when you were

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Speaker 2: eighteen the family said why.

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Speaker 1: So it's gotten better and we talk now. But for

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Speaker 1: a little bit it was rough because they were kind

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Speaker 1: of like, you know, you don't exactly fit in with

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Speaker 1: this family, and we no longer have, say, like an

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Speaker 1: obligation to keep you. So good luck is what they said.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, that's asked. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: lie that was that was asked when I said that.

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Speaker 1: But you know, we've talked about things, and we talk sometimes.

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Speaker 1: I have a little sister and a niece, so it's

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Speaker 1: important to me to like still be in contact with.

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Speaker 2: Them, So you're still cool.

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Speaker 1: My new family is great life, not fully Jewish, and

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Speaker 1: they're like teaching me all of their stuff. And it's

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Speaker 1: really interesting because like I grew up Catholic and half

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Speaker 1: of their families Catholics, so it's like this crazy combination

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Speaker 1: of different religions that like we're just kind of like

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Speaker 1: fucking do whatever.

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Speaker 2: So you're still cool.

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Speaker 1: Enjoy a Like I still go to math.

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Speaker 2: Later, So you're still cool with the old family.

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Speaker 1: Uh Like kind of like I love them. They raised me,

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Speaker 1: they took me in and you know, all of that

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Speaker 1: good stuff. They're not like, you know, always my favorite people.

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Speaker 1: But I lived with them and their family and families,

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Speaker 1: you know, And now you.

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Speaker 2: Live with this nice Jewish family who's teaching you how

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Speaker 2: to be Jewish.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well I don't live with but I do live

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Speaker 1: like right next door to them. My apartment building is

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Speaker 1: like next to their house, which is kind of crazy.

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Speaker 2: And they and they like were you One of them

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Speaker 2: was like your teacher?

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah, they're both teachers. They're like super super cool people,

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Speaker 1: and I like had a bunch of classes with both

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Speaker 1: of them because they both do like history and like

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Speaker 1: the social studies kind of section, and I was really

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Speaker 1: into that in high school. Also, the husband, like the

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Speaker 1: I don't know new dad. He he ran a D

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Speaker 1: and D club with me when I was in high school,

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Speaker 1: when I was like an older student, so we already

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Speaker 1: spent a whole lot of time. They were kind of

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Speaker 1: familiar with my like adopted like my original adopted family,

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Speaker 1: being a little out there, a little different, little zany,

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Speaker 1: little intense.

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Speaker 2: So how did you meet this? Your your your boyfriend

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Speaker 2: who's teaching you how to do your text?

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Speaker 1: The cop boyfriend? Cop boyfriend, dating apps, dating app hinge. No,

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Speaker 1: actually I think it was bumble. Oh yeah, he's just

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Speaker 1: the cutest thing.

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Speaker 2: Is he cool? Is that good?

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Speaker 1: Oh he's I don't understand why he has the job

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Speaker 1: he has because he's very he's very cool about all

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Speaker 1: of the things. Yeah, No, it's really it's it's been interesting.

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Speaker 1: So actually I kind of live with him nowadays. I'm

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Speaker 1: mostly taking up space in his house most days. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Like I have an apartment, but I don't have to

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Speaker 1: fuck with that right now.

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Speaker 2: Wow, why don't you fuck with your apartment?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Just because like he's here, and so I'm here most

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Speaker 1: of the time, so I kind of just like locked

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Speaker 1: that ship up and like it's there, you know, in case,

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Speaker 1: because we're not like married or anything. So if he

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Speaker 1: dumps my ass, I gotta have a place to go.

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Speaker 2: Well, how long have you guys been together?

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Speaker 1: Over a year? Actually, we just recently had our anniversary

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Speaker 1: in January.

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Speaker 2: Very nice.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's been going super cool. And also both

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Speaker 1: of my adopted families think he's really cool, so that's cool.

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Speaker 1: So I might like him more than me.

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Speaker 2: So I mean that's pretty cool. It sounds like everything's

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Speaker 2: going well for you. I mean, look, I don't think

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Speaker 2: you're gonna get uh, I don't think you're gonna go

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Speaker 2: to jail for tax evasion. You have a boyfriend, you

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Speaker 2: like you have, you have two families, anything else.

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Speaker 1: Three families because the initial family.

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Speaker 2: Do you still talk to the initially adopted family?

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Speaker 1: Sort of? My mom, like some of my biological mom's

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Speaker 1: like a whole last crackhead. Like I hate to say

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Speaker 1: that because you know, but like she really is, Like

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Speaker 1: she's just take what you imagine crackhead to be and

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Speaker 1: really really that that's her. Yeah, but my biological sister

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Speaker 1: actually got adopted by the same family that adopted me,

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Speaker 1: like years later, years years years later, like when she

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Speaker 1: was like twenty six, they legally adopted her and my

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Speaker 1: niece and so like it was actually wild because I

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Speaker 1: lost contact with her since I got removed from my

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Speaker 1: initial family, my birth family, and she ended up in

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Speaker 1: jail for a long time just for like stupid shit.

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Speaker 1: She didn't like hurt anybody or anything, but yeah, she

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Speaker 1: ended up in jail for a long time. So I

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Speaker 1: just like didn't even know if she existed. And then

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Speaker 1: one day she you know, answered a Facebook message and whatever,

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Speaker 1: and she was going to have a baby, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I told my adopted parents about that, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna move to them to help her take care

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Speaker 1: of her baby, and they were like the fuck you are.

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Speaker 1: So they you know, moved her out to where I am,

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Speaker 1: and you know, after they saw the situation she was in,

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Speaker 1: they were like, oh, yeah, no, you're part of our family. Now.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of cool to be, like, oh, are all

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Speaker 1: of your sisters adopted? Yes, but that one's also related

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Speaker 1: to me, which to other people that's super normal. You know,

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Speaker 1: You're like, oh, yeah, of course my siblings are related

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Speaker 1: to me. In my world. That's that's abnormal. That's strange.

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Speaker 1: It's strange when people are related, like my boyfriend's family.

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Speaker 1: I don't like it. Why do they all look the same,

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Speaker 1: Why do they all sound the same? Like they're so

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Speaker 1: all visibly related. It's kind of gross. I'm like, why

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Speaker 1: do you all look like each other in like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the whole face.

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Speaker 2: Yeah no, no it is.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if other people have that experience.

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Speaker 2: Yeah no, no, it's weird. It's weird, like a whole A

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00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:52,120
Speaker 2: bunch of people who look together. Who a bunch of

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Speaker 2: people who look like each other living in the same

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Speaker 2: house is fucking weird.

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Speaker 1: No, because it gets wilder because I'm like, like the

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Speaker 1: whitest white bread, And so is my my adopted dad,

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Speaker 1: Like this is my you know, first adopted family, my

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00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:14,880
Speaker 1: adopted mother, she's dominicant like and she looks it. And

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Speaker 1: my adopted little sister is black, like just the whole

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Speaker 1: ass like black. And it's just funny because oh, my

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00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:25,360
Speaker 1: my biological sister obviously she's white, but my niece is

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Speaker 1: also black. So when we all go out together, not

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Speaker 1: only is everybody really weird ages and there's like a

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Speaker 1: child and a whole adult. But then there's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: obviously parents, but we're all different colors and we all

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00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,920
Speaker 1: like come from different backgrounds, and it's pretty funny. It's

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Speaker 1: pretty funny. And you see people like looking at my

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00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,680
Speaker 1: mom and my dad and looking at me and my

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Speaker 1: sister and trying to figure out who cheated on who,

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Speaker 1: and it's like, nope, we're just all adopted.

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Speaker 2: M hmm.

301
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,680
Speaker 1: It's crazy. I don't know if regular people get those

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00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,760
Speaker 1: reactions when they go out with their family, but ours

303
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,359
Speaker 1: looks different, so we get looks sometimes.

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Speaker 2: How many adopted siblings do you have in total?

305
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:07,480
Speaker 1: Just the just the well, Okay, so this is weird

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00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 1: because my niece is like obviously my niece, like my

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00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:14,040
Speaker 1: sister's daughter, but I think she might be adopted under

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00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,920
Speaker 1: my name too, like the same name I have. I'm

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00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,520
Speaker 1: pretty sure, So I don't know if she actually is

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00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,520
Speaker 1: Technically no, my sister's has custody. I don't know what

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00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,960
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Yeah, so I have I have the

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00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,920
Speaker 1: two and then my niece also has our family's last name.

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Speaker 2: Now, so so how many is that?

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00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:35,920
Speaker 4: So?

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00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,480
Speaker 1: Just two sisters and a niece? Okay, but the niece

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00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:43,800
Speaker 1: like lives with us, so, you know, and my sister's

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Speaker 1: like a whole ass adult. She kind of pisses me

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Speaker 1: off sometimes, but she like doesn't act like an adult

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Speaker 1: and kind of lets my parents raise her daughter and stuff.

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Speaker 1: So like that's kind of I think why my niece

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00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,640
Speaker 1: feels like more like a sister than my niece, you know,

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Speaker 1: because my parents kind of raise her.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,960
Speaker 1: It's one of those fun situations. But she went to

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00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,440
Speaker 1: school and like got a counseling degree and stuff and

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00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,040
Speaker 1: graduated college, so that's really good for her. She's doing better.

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Speaker 2: Now, what's your life dream, Olivia? What do you? What

329
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,919
Speaker 2: do you? What do you? What do you want to do?

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Speaker 2: What do you want for the future.

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Speaker 1: So I'm in school right now. I want to study well,

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00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:26,439
Speaker 1: I want to continue to study horticulture and botany, and

333
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:31,400
Speaker 1: I want to do urban planning farms like rooftop farms

334
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,120
Speaker 1: or in small spaces, or like the kind of thing

335
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 1: where people take lots and clear them out, like abandoned

336
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,880
Speaker 1: lots and clear them out and make community gardens and stuff.

337
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 1: I'm all about, like creative agriculture and symbiotic relationships between

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00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,160
Speaker 1: different like species and stuff.

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00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,280
Speaker 2: I want you to make askt my degree, I want

340
00:17:52,320 --> 00:18:00,160
Speaker 2: you to make a very very realistic version of Rainforest Cafe.

341
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,000
Speaker 2: I think that would be the best possible application of your.

342
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:08,000
Speaker 1: Degree the immersive experience. No, that's a great idea though, because,

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00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,320
Speaker 1: like I said, my adopted family they live in Hawaii

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00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,560
Speaker 1: these days, so when I do get to go visit them,

345
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,679
Speaker 1: that's like my favorite part is like just outside is

346
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,040
Speaker 1: like the kind of plants that, like, you know, stateside,

347
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,879
Speaker 1: you'd have to go somewhere really special to see plants

348
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,399
Speaker 1: like that, you know, like a like a greenhouse or

349
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,199
Speaker 1: a botanical garden or or or a like you know,

350
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,199
Speaker 1: some kind of display like what you're talking about, like

351
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 1: in a in a fancy restaurant or whatever. Does Rainforest

352
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:36,640
Speaker 1: Cafe found kunt As fancy?

353
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:42,400
Speaker 2: Is Rainforest Cafe fancy? I mean, I mean like if people.

354
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,320
Speaker 1: Look or to take kids there, I feel like you're

355
00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:45,440
Speaker 1: pretty set.

356
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 2: People people really only go there on very special occasions,

357
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,560
Speaker 2: So I would say that makes it fancy.

358
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Speaker 1: That's what I'm thinking. Wait, is that is that the

359
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,840
Speaker 1: place where like some locations they have like the people

360
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:01,879
Speaker 1: that do the the die being like the cliff jumping indoors.

361
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 2: No, you're thinking of, oh, that's the so you know.

362
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,800
Speaker 1: That that's the South Park thing, right, Yeah, that's South

363
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 1: Park Park, A big feel about it. Yeah, okay, Well

364
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,520
Speaker 1: when I lived out in Denver, we like went there

365
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,680
Speaker 1: on school trips.

366
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,680
Speaker 2: Like what that's it was? It was it cool?

367
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,920
Speaker 1: Was it like that originals fucking place? Trying to describe

368
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,119
Speaker 1: to people like as an adult that this place existed

369
00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 1: in my childhood and I went there. They all think

370
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,200
Speaker 1: I'm fucking insane. They think I'm lying. I'm like, no,

371
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 1: there was like, you know, a pirates thing and there

372
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,679
Speaker 1: was like a waterfall inside and all the food was

373
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,840
Speaker 1: Mexican food. And people were like, what the fuck are

374
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,160
Speaker 1: you talking about? And I'm like there were games everywhere,

375
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:42,840
Speaker 1: games everywhere, and they're like, you're insane person because you

376
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 1: don't like chuck e cheese or some shit.

377
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,679
Speaker 2: Olivia, I gotta say I I was feeling sorry for

378
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,160
Speaker 2: you because as a child you went through foster care.

379
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,280
Speaker 2: But now that I know that you went to Castle

380
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,919
Speaker 2: Benita as a kid, I don't. I don't feel bad

381
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 2: for you anymore.

382
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 1: No, you shouldn't. And that was that was before the

383
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,880
Speaker 1: foster you'd actually be surprised sometimes as a foster child, though,

384
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,200
Speaker 1: you get to go on like field trips because people

385
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 1: are like, oh, you sad little foster kid, do you

386
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,040
Speaker 1: want to go to the beach today?

387
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 2: Yeah?

388
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 1: And then you know, as a foster kid, you'd be

389
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,840
Speaker 1: surprised how many people are just like, yeah, sure, this

390
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,560
Speaker 1: child I'm responsible for, just like take her for the day.

391
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 1: That'd be nice. I need a break, I need to

392
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:21,960
Speaker 1: sit down for a minute. And then i'd be in

393
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,160
Speaker 1: a stranger's car, like going to the beach or going

394
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,480
Speaker 1: to cast a bonita. That's fine.

395
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,639
Speaker 2: I'm just kidding, by the way, because I feel like

396
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 2: people are going to be like, wow, that was so mean.

397
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:37,440
Speaker 2: Anyway anyway, No, no, no, no, anyway, no, because you're completely right.

398
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,880
Speaker 1: Feel bad for kids that didn't get adopted, feel bad

399
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,480
Speaker 1: for kids that didn't get to go to castle.

400
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,399
Speaker 2: It's true. The kids who did, it's true. I've like,

401
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,040
Speaker 2: you know, I feel bad for I feel bad for

402
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,400
Speaker 2: every kid who had like two parents that stayed together,

403
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,159
Speaker 2: that were that were in love with each other and

404
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 2: they live in a weird stupid house that and they

405
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:58,159
Speaker 2: look like their sister, and it's just that's just a

406
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,679
Speaker 2: weird kid with a weird fucking life, you know, and

407
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,440
Speaker 2: they never went to any of the cool restaurants. They

408
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 2: never got to go to Disney World.

409
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:09,159
Speaker 3: They just fucking no foster kid perks.

410
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 2: At all, No foster good perks at all.

411
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,360
Speaker 1: Oh, that's the thing. When you go through foster care,

412
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:16,960
Speaker 1: if you're in it for a certain amount of time.

413
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 1: In most states, if you and if you age out

414
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 1: of the system, you get scholarship opportunities after you get out.

415
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,280
Speaker 1: Oh my god, like higher education stipends and shit.

416
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

417
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,040
Speaker 1: So anyway, if anyone's listening and they went through foster care,

418
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 1: please look up your benefits in your state, because if

419
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 1: you were in foster care for like three five more years,

420
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,000
Speaker 1: three to five or more years, you've qualified for a

421
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 1: lot of help from the government because they feel very

422
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 1: bad about the childhood you had.

423
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:45,919
Speaker 2: You were going to make so many people listening to

424
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 2: this wish that their parents were dead.

425
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, well listen, some people just wish that already. I've

426
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 1: heard some of these calls. It's a wild time.

427
00:21:58,760 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 2: What's your name again?

428
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 1: Olivia?

429
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 2: Olivia, Olivia, Olivia.

430
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 1: Thanks for chat or something.

431
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,640
Speaker 2: Call me ben, I don't give a shit, call me whatever. Olivia.

432
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 2: Thanks for chatting with me about all this stuff. I'm glad,

433
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 2: I genuinely am. I'm glad to hear that things seem

434
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 2: like they're going well for you. You're probably not going

435
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 2: to go to jail for tax evasion, But don't quote

436
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 2: me on that. Is there anything else.

437
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 1: That you want to.

438
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 2: Say to the people of the computer or anything that

439
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 2: you wanted to say that we didn't get to, or

440
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 2: final thoughts, feelings, sentiments, questions, comments, concerns before before.

441
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 1: We go m okay, all right, okay, So how many

442
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,479
Speaker 1: skills do you think that they make a year? Oh?

443
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 2: My god, that's a great question. They must make at

444
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 2: least Holy.

445
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 1: Shit, I'm gonna be such a dick right now. I

446
00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,199
Speaker 1: don't have an answer prepared. I don't know what that

447
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 1: number is. I don't know if it's as many as

448
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 1: you think or more. But I'd like to leave you

449
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:03,719
Speaker 1: with that burning question.

450
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 2: Man, it's gonna be is it more or is it

451
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 2: over or under a billion?

452
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 1: I don't know. I haven't even looked it up. It

453
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 1: literally just said that shit. Because now you're gonna wonder

454
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 1: and you have like the whole exit of this podcast

455
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: to do, so I don't know what are you gonna

456
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 1: do about that stop your podcast to look it up.

457
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 2: Olivia, You've taken us on a ride this evening, and

458
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 2: for that, I greatly thank you.

459
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 1: Hey, well, thank you for your podcast. It's awesome. Everybody

460
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 1: fucking loves it and you're great. I hope your tour

461
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: goes well.

462
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 2: Thanks Olivia.

463
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: I appreciate that I might see you in Syracuse. That'd

464
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:45,400
Speaker 1: be fun.

465
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 2: Ah please, Oh my god. I don't know who's gonna

466
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 2: come in Syracuse. I think there's only about fifteen people

467
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 2: who live in that city, so I hope you do.

468
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 1: You know the Shilahboff song where at the end he

469
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 1: is just the only person in the theater clapping with it.

470
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:03,119
Speaker 2: Intensity is Well, that'll be you in Syracuse.

471
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: That'll be me and the fifteen people that live in Syracuse.

472
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 2: Well, greatly experience for you greatly. Look all right, well,

473
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,439
Speaker 2: thanks for calling, Olivey. I'm gonna look. I'm gonna google that.

474
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 2: I'm gonna google that fucking skittles thing.

475
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 1: Good luck. I hope you find your answers.

476
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 2: Thank you, Olivia. Have a good night you bye bye.

477
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:34,199
Speaker 2: All right, we're looking it up. How many skittles are

478
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 2: are made each day? WHOA? All right? I was wondering

479
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,880
Speaker 2: if it was over under a billion. According to Google,

480
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,920
Speaker 2: this comes straight from the mouth of Wrigley. They make

481
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 2: two hundred million skittles every day, which means seventy billion

482
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 2: skittles are produced every year. That's a piece of information

483
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 2: that is of no use to me or anyone ever.

484
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 2: But there's man, it's crazy right because it does make

485
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 2: you think, right, why is world hunger a thing when

486
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 2: enough skittles are made every year for everyone on Earth

487
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 2: to have at least ten skittles? Crazy world we live in. Hey, folks,

488
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 2: this is Lyle. I am very excited to announce that

489
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 2: I am going back on tour in twenty twenty four

490
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:42,479
Speaker 2: to do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country. If

491
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 2: you've never been to one of my live shows before,

492
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 2: they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a

493
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 2: mix of group Gecko therapy sessions as well as some

494
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 2: material and presentations from myself. And if you've been to

495
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 2: the show before, I have new presents and will of

496
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,679
Speaker 2: course be interviewing new people. If you're a fan of

497
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 2: the podcast, you're gonna have a great time at the

498
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 2: live show, So I hope to see you guys there.

499
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 2: Go to therapy geckotour dot com or check the link

500
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 2: in the episode description for a full list of cities

501
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 2: where tickets are available. Also, if you don't see your

502
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 2: city on the list of cities, please still click the

503
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 2: link and RSVP with your phone number so I can

504
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 2: contact you when tickets go on sale for your city,

505
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 2: because I'm going to announce a bunch more dates very soon.

506
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 2: Gek bless.

507
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 3: Hey is this the Gecko?

508
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:39,120
Speaker 4: Yeah?

509
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 2: Who is this?

510
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 1: Hi?

511
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 3: My name's Athena, Areena, Athena.

512
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 2: What's up? How's life? How can I get you today?

513
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 5: Pretty good?

514
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 2: Man.

515
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,919
Speaker 3: I don't know if you saw the text I sent you,

516
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 3: but we have a bit of a situation on our hands.

517
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 2: Situate me. What's happening?

518
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 3: All right? This actually happened a couple of years ago,

519
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 3: but I haven't talked to anybody about it since. And

520
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 3: it's like eating me alive. Okay. So I'm nineteen now, right.

521
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 3: This happened probably like four years ago. My parents got

522
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 3: married again. And I have two stepbrothers, okay. One of

523
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 3: them live in South Carolina, Carolina, and he visits occasionally, okay,

524
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 3: And and one time he was staying the night and

525
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 3: I think he caught me masturbating, which is insane, and

526
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,439
Speaker 3: I think our relationship has been strained ever since, and

527
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 3: I need help trying to patch it.

528
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,719
Speaker 2: Is it that is? Is it that insane to masturbate.

529
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 3: A little bit? I think the more insane part is

530
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,679
Speaker 3: the you know, it wasn't that bad. But in the

531
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:05,239
Speaker 3: morning after, he like told me, hey, I saw you.

532
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 2: Hey, wait, he said, he told you. What do you

533
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 2: mean wait? So it was like he walked in or

534
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 2: he like, fucking I didn't know.

535
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 3: He was like, I didn't know. He knew until the

536
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 3: next morning. So our rooms are like right across the

537
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 3: hall from each other, and he came up to me

538
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,399
Speaker 3: in the morning and he was like, hey, I I

539
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 3: heard you.

540
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:27,919
Speaker 5: I saw you.

541
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 3: And I went, oh, okay, And that was probably the

542
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 3: last thing I've said to him in the last five years.

543
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 2: All Right, let me can I give you my take?

544
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, give me my take?

545
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 2: Okay. This that's so that's so on him. That's so

546
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: on him. So on him, because if you catch your

547
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 2: stepsister masturbating, you don't fucking tell her over breakfast the

548
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 2: next morning, you just you just keep it to yourself.

549
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 3: That's on him.

550
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's on him. That's not like, uh, you don't like,

551
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 2: I don't think that's something you need to discuss necessarily,

552
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 2: you know, So I'm gonna say that's on him.

553
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: Okay.

554
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 3: I think the main part that was really like eating

555
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 3: me alive was the nonchalance I had in the morning.

556
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 3: It was I was terrified, but I played it off,

557
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 3: And I think that's what really.

558
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 2: Well, you didn't do anything wrong. It was him who

559
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 2: was who was like, let's talk about this. You know,

560
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 2: I don't think that needed to be talked.

561
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 3: About for sure.

562
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, when's the next time you're gonna when's the last

563
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 2: time you saw him?

564
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 3: Probably like a year ago.

565
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 2: Okay, we haven't.

566
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 3: Talked at all.

567
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 2: You didn't tell what was the situation where you guys met?

568
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 3: So he comes over occasionally for like Thanksgiving and like

569
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 3: birthdays and stuff. He only really comes over like twice

570
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 3: a year, though, and every time he does he cannot

571
00:29:59,400 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 3: look me in the.

572
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 2: So wait, So the conversation literally, what he said to you,

573
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 2: I saw you masturbating, Like what did he what did?

574
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 2: What were his words?

575
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 3: He said, I saw you, I heard you, and I

576
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 3: knew immediately what he was talking about because obviously he said,

577
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 3: I I saw you. I heard you last night, and

578
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 3: so I was like okay, and I said all right,

579
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 3: and then we went our separate ways. I mean like

580
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 3: he was still like in the house that time. It

581
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 3: was we more like wouldn't look at each other or

582
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 3: talk to each other because of how awkward it.

583
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 2: Was, you know, Okay, let me ask you this question.

584
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 2: Do you have any desire to have any form of

585
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 2: relationship with this person?

586
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 4: Oh?

587
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 2: No, no, not rocket not romantic relationship. I just mean no,

588
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 2: I wasn't asking you. You thought I was asking you

589
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 2: if you wanted to have sex with your stepbrother. I mean,

590
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 2: like you want to be have not a like just

591
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 2: a reallylationship, Like do you want to fucking be a

592
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 2: be familial?

593
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 3: I think though. I mean he's interesting. Actually, can I

594
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 3: tell you a little bit about him, because yeah, yeah,

595
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 3: thank you. He he's so. I'm Latina, my dad is

596
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 3: from Guatemala, my mom is from Mississippi. And he made

597
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 3: a bunch of racist comments last year about like, like

598
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 3: you know, like the whole like building the border, getting

599
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 3: immigrants out of the country and stuff. He talked a

600
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 3: lot about that and how he wanted to like beat

601
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 3: people that weren't white and he said like kind of

602
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 3: the same stuff about like people that were like queer.

603
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 3: So I mean, I like, I think our relationship before

604
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 3: the whole incident happened was great, an.

605
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 2: Interesting death definition of of of interesting.

606
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 3: Thanks man, But I mean I want our relationship to

607
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 3: go back to how it was before. But I don't

608
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 3: know if that's possible. Now.

609
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 2: How was it.

610
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 3: I think we were very casual. It was when he

611
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 3: would come over, we would like play video games together,

612
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 3: and he was he was a huge history buff. Okay,

613
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 3: he was like sailing all his other classes, but history

614
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 3: was like the one thing. And so I'd ask him

615
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 3: very specific questions. We'd sit in the basement and I'd

616
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 3: ask him, like, you know, different questions about like different wars,

617
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 3: and he answer, he.

618
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 2: Sounds like he's he sounds like he's interested in very

619
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 2: particular periods of history.

620
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, yep. But I I that's definitely changed

621
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:53,719
Speaker 3: because now he's getting into like drugs and and like

622
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 3: tobacco and stuff, and so you know, maybe I'm like

623
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 3: rasping onto past, you know, trying.

624
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 2: To like, do you do you like this guy? Not again,

625
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 2: not in a sexual way, do you like, like as

626
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 2: a human being? Do you want to be friends with him?

627
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 3: It's been so long since we talked. I don't know

628
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 3: really who he is anymore. So I can't give like

629
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 3: a yes or no because I haven't had like a

630
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 3: proper conversation with him.

631
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 4: The one.

632
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 2: Don't you talk once you talk to him?

633
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,640
Speaker 3: It's awkward, man, I don't. Hey, man, the anxiety is real.

634
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: Okay.

635
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 3: I don't know what to tell you.

636
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 2: Just what do you mean? You just next time he's

637
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 2: at dinner. It's very easy to have a conversation with

638
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 2: someone without working in the fact that he saw you masturbating,

639
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 2: you would actually you would have to go out of

640
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 2: your way to mention that.

641
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right, Okay. I think that time he comes

642
00:33:56,520 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 3: down is probably fourth of July. I might okay, thank

643
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 3: you man.

644
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 2: It sounds like he's going to be It sounds like

645
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 2: he's going to be in a good mood on that day.

646
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 2: I don't know why. Maybe maybe all right, is there

647
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 2: anything else you want to say to the people of

648
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 2: the computer before we go? Yeah?

649
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 3: Hey, man, I love your show. Everyone keep doing what

650
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 3: you're doing. You guys are amazing. Been watching the chat.

651
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 3: You guys are awesome. Thank you very much.

652
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 2: Have a good night you too. I once walked in

653
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 2: on I was going to tell a fake story, but

654
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 2: I decided not to. All right, let's move on all.

655
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 4: From Hey, It's Zach from Australia.

656
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 2: To accept press one to send a voicemail.

657
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 4: Hello, Hello, Lyle? How are you doing, Mama?

658
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 2: I'm doing all right? Is this Jack Zach? With a

659
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:53,359
Speaker 2: z oh?

660
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 3: Zach?

661
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 2: What's up? Zach? How can I get you today? How's life?

662
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,400
Speaker 4: No much, Lyle? I'm just the old give you the

663
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,879
Speaker 4: TLD here. I'm just out of a six year relationship

664
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 4: and I'm feeling really fucking lost. Man.

665
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 2: Why did it end? What happens?

666
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:16,839
Speaker 4: Basically, she accused me of cheating on her for two

667
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 4: years straight when it was completely false.

668
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 2: Why did she think you were cheating on her?

669
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:26,799
Speaker 4: We used to have like verbal arguments, and it was

670
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 4: our agreement that we were going to leave on a

671
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 4: like a rotation, like I would go for a walk

672
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 4: and then she would go for a walk. But wanded

673
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 4: up happening is she's a bit more of a homebody.

674
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 4: So I just said, fuck it, I'll go for walks,

675
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,200
Speaker 4: which turned into me just going over to my friend's

676
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 4: house for a while, and my friend is a weed guy.

677
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 4: So a bunch of people come over to his house

678
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:58,399
Speaker 4: all the time, some of those pretty girls, and that's

679
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,760
Speaker 4: where it comes from.

680
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:05,840
Speaker 2: Okay, So she thought, okay, you weren't cheating on her though, right, No.

681
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:08,879
Speaker 4: Love it a bit, still love it a bits?

682
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 2: Okay, I mean so are you are you say you

683
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:14,359
Speaker 2: still love her to bits?

684
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 4: Yeah? Man, I'm as what I said. Like, we were

685
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 4: together for six years and the last two years was

686
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 4: just accusations and arguments, and yeah, that just caused me

687
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 4: to move on.

688
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:32,319
Speaker 2: Two years was two full years of accusations and arguments.

689
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, like every second or third night if we would

690
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,280
Speaker 4: have an argument and I would go out or even

691
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 4: not even that, like you know, there were occasions where

692
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:42,320
Speaker 4: we'd be going out to get dinner and we'd be

693
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,479
Speaker 4: walking home and I'd be like looking at my phone

694
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 4: or something and she'd point to We'll go on the

695
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 4: street and be like were you looking at her? Just

696
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 4: really like insecure.

697
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 2: And yeah, yeah, you don't want to be dealing with that.

698
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 4: I really didn't. I really and I did want to

699
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 4: because I was, you know, four years into a relationship,

700
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 4: love this woman to bits. But at the end of

701
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 4: the day, like there's only so much I could put

702
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 4: up with.

703
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, well all right, but yeah, man, no, yeah, what

704
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 2: are you gonna do now?

705
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:17,720
Speaker 4: Well, I'm living in my place. I moved about twenty

706
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 4: minutes away, and I'm living in my new place, and

707
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 4: I'm basically just like doing my shift at work every day.

708
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 4: I do much like yourself. I do Twitch streaming. I'm

709
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 4: a much smaller streamer though, and yeah, I'm just doing that.

710
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 4: And then as soon as I clock off from the stream,

711
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,839
Speaker 4: I'm just lost, Like I just sit and stare at

712
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 4: the screen and I just can't. I'm I'm just sad, dude.

713
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 4: Like it's been like three months and I just can't

714
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 4: bring myself to do much.

715
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I'm sorry. I have no experience with ending

716
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 2: a Twitch stream and then staring at the ceiling feeling sad.

717
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:00,400
Speaker 2: So I really can't help you with that.

718
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 4: Relate to that one.

719
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 2: I can't can't can't relate to that at all. That stuff.

720
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 2: I've never experienced that before in my whole life. So

721
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:17,600
Speaker 2: unfortunately I can't help you. No, no problems. Oh god,

722
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:23,919
Speaker 2: uh let's see. Yeah, when that happens to me, Oh god,

723
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know what to do. I

724
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 2: don't know, man, what do you What do you do

725
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:30,320
Speaker 2: when you're not streaming?

726
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:37,360
Speaker 4: UHM? I do like sound engineering and stuff, A smoke, smoke,

727
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 4: a bit of weed, catch up with my friends. I've

728
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 4: been trying to lean into that. But I went around

729
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 4: to my friend's house recently and I just got like

730
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 4: a little bit like annoyed with him, and then immediately

731
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 4: apologized because I was like, you know, I'm just like

732
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 4: in a bad spot. So like now I've sort of

733
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,840
Speaker 4: shut myself on the foot because I got like a

734
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 4: little bit annoyed. You know, the friend's house that I

735
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:06,479
Speaker 4: go to to, he's already over it. It's all good,

736
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 4: Like I can go over there again. But I just

737
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:10,680
Speaker 4: don't trust myself. I just feel like I'm in such

738
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 4: a bad spot that I'm going to miss miss talk

739
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 4: and you know, just shit on one of my friends again.

740
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, how long have you been feeling like this?

741
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 4: Pretty much? Like I don't know. I like two out

742
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 4: of the three months we've been split it Up's split

743
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 4: it up? Split up?

744
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,359
Speaker 2: What do you think would get you out of it?

745
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 4: See? This is good because these are the questions I

746
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 4: don't ask myself what would get me out of this.

747
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 4: What would get me out of this? I guess I

748
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 4: just got to lean into trying to enjoy like the

749
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 4: normal things, like my normal routine that I used to have.

750
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 2: Well, what's your What do you mean used to have?

751
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 2: What's change? What's well? Tell me about the normal routine

752
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 2: that you used to have and then how it changed.

753
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 4: Well, basically, I'd wake up in the morning and go

754
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 4: for a walk, do exercise, get my coffee, be really

755
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 4: friendly to the people down the shops. You know, it's

756
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 4: all gentrified, and so I'm like, oh hey, and you know,

757
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 4: then I'd feel stoked from the small amount of interaction.

758
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 4: And then I'd hop on a stream stream from like

759
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 4: ten am to like two pm, get off stream, work

760
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 4: on music, work on mixes, and then just like you know,

761
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 4: nighttime comes around, smoke a little bit of weed and

762
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 4: call the friends, see what they're up to, see if

763
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 4: they want to hop on a discord as normally what

764
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 4: I would do.

765
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 2: Okay, what do you do now?

766
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 4: Finish stream, smoke weed straight away and just feel directionless

767
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:50,040
Speaker 4: and just procrastinate, try and do things in sale.

768
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:55,520
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, well, okay, I have a few thoughts and

769
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,840
Speaker 2: by the way, I don't know, like I mean you,

770
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,160
Speaker 2: I don't know how much you listened to me talk,

771
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 2: but like I don't. I'm also trying to figure out

772
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 2: how to not how to make life good you know, yeah, yeah, yeah,

773
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 2: So take it all with a grain of salt. But

774
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 2: I'm I've I've been thinking about this a lot because

775
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:24,800
Speaker 2: I've been thinking, like, oh, you know, if everything did,

776
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 2: if all my dreams did come true, right, like imagine

777
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 2: like like like like like the perfect relationship, the perfect career,

778
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 2: the perfect everything, it's still you to just you know

779
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 2: what I mean? Like, no, like, no matter what is

780
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 2: in front of you, you're gonna have to learn to

781
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:53,200
Speaker 2: be stoked about it kind of because absolutely, because if

782
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:56,839
Speaker 2: everything gets better, you're still gonna have to learn how

783
00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 2: to be stoked for the better things. Because if you

784
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,479
Speaker 2: never learn how to get stoked with what's in front

785
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,280
Speaker 2: of you, it doesn't matter what's in front of you,

786
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:05,919
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.

787
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:10,880
Speaker 4: So it's true, it's like, if you can't be happy

788
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 4: with what you've got, then what you want is probably

789
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 4: not going to happen because of that attitude.

790
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 2: No, that's not what I mean. A lot, if you

791
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 2: can't be happy with what's in front of you, then

792
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 2: what you want isn't even gonna make you happy.

793
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 4: Ah right, right, all right, yeah, fair, So.

794
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 2: I mean this morning, I mean, so look, go to

795
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 2: your coffee shop. Really fuel yourself there. Enjoy talking to

796
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 2: the to the lady who gives you the coffee, you know,

797
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,840
Speaker 2: Enjoy being on your stream, Enjoy talking to your friends.

798
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 2: Just like whatever you're doing, just enjoy it. I know

799
00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:01,879
Speaker 2: that doesn't make any fucking sense, but like, you gotta,

800
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 2: you gotta learn to be stoked at whatever you're doing.

801
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 4: Now, you're right, You're right, it's yeah, you gotta. You

802
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 4: gotta lean into just being really grateful for what's in

803
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:14,359
Speaker 4: front of you, because, like I'm well aware that, like

804
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 4: even though I'm poor on the general scale of things,

805
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 4: my life is way better than a lot of people's.

806
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 4: Oh and yeah, I need to remember that more often.

807
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 2: I was at Today's a Monday, and I was at

808
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 2: a coffee shop with my friend today at like one pm,

809
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 2: and him and I we were just talking about like

810
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 2: our life. We just always get together and we talk

811
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 2: about like our life goals and ship. And then I

812
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 2: first that we were both of us. We were like, dude,

813
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 2: we're sitting at a coffee shop, at one pm on

814
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 2: a Monday. Do you have people are working construct People

815
00:43:56,360 --> 00:44:00,879
Speaker 2: are working construction right now. People are typing in excels,

816
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:04,879
Speaker 2: spreadsheets and trying so hard not to kill themselves. And

817
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:09,240
Speaker 2: we're at a coffee shop on a Monday at one pm.

818
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 2: This like, we're sitting here, and we're sitting here talking

819
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 2: about how we're going to make our lives better. Dude,

820
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,760
Speaker 2: this is it. We're here, We're in a coffee shop

821
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,799
Speaker 2: at one pm on a Monday. We made it.

822
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:21,320
Speaker 4: We're in.

823
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 2: This is life already. You know, this is wed what

824
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 2: I don't know, what the fuck do we want?

825
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 4: It's It's honestly just a great point to really lean

826
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 4: into that gratitude. I don't know what you did or

827
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,919
Speaker 4: if you did anything before doing this is a job

828
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 4: get but I've had that exact experience of being locked

829
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 4: in a corporate job and wanting to kill myself being

830
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 4: very depressed about it. So the fact that I have

831
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 4: that experience and I'm still having trouble getting that gratitude

832
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:57,839
Speaker 4: really aggravates me as someone who should be better than that. Yeah,

833
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 4: as someone who's in the mid thirties, it really goons

834
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 4: me out. Now that you just said that that I

835
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,839
Speaker 4: couldn't just make that direct parallel. It's kind of an

836
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 4: I'll be honest, man, it's kind of embarrassing to like.

837
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 4: The older I get, the more I feel like I

838
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 4: should have my shit down pat and not be as

839
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 4: sad and be more in control. But I've got to

840
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 4: be honest. The only thing that can improve as I

841
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 4: get older is not my emotions they seem to get worse,

842
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 4: but my coping and control mechanisms. And I just feel

843
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:29,160
Speaker 4: guilty that by this age I haven't developed them as

844
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:30,280
Speaker 4: well as some other people.

845
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 2: How well do you?

846
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 4: I'm thirty six.

847
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:39,479
Speaker 2: Man, I you know what is like, I'm twenty six.

848
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 2: I really like in my brain, I'm like, I really

849
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 2: hope I'm not depressed when I'm thirty six, but I

850
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 2: know I'm going to be. But I think my life,

851
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:50,759
Speaker 2: I think my life's going to be good. I think

852
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 2: it's going to be way better than it is now.

853
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 2: And I think I'm still going to be depressed. I

854
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 2: think it's just a weird. I think it's just a

855
00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 2: weird constant. I think you just accept it is like

856
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 2: this is a constant of fucking life. Yeah, you know,

857
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 2: like this idea that's this idea you have that like

858
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 2: everything's going to be sick, like like eventually you're going

859
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 2: to get to a point where just everything's going to

860
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 2: be sick forever. Like I thought that when I was

861
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:18,440
Speaker 2: like six. I thought when I was sixteen, I was like,

862
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,879
Speaker 2: one day everything's going to be sick, And like ten

863
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 2: years later, I'm twenty six. Every externally everything's kind of sick.

864
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:30,399
Speaker 2: But uh, you know, I'm still getting the brak. It's

865
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 2: never and so ten more years are going to pass

866
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:35,279
Speaker 2: and no, you're we're just never gonna get that. We're

867
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 2: never going to reach fucking nirvana. You know, I don't

868
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 2: even know what that looks like.

869
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a it's a char it's a character mistic.

870
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:46,919
Speaker 4: I think, like hoping that you'll have less like internal

871
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:52,280
Speaker 4: work to do for me. Something I said to myself

872
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 4: the other day is if I don't do the work,

873
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:58,879
Speaker 4: nothing's going to change, right, And I need to find

874
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 4: it less harsh self talk, framing to speak to myself.

875
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 4: But I still believe that what's the work just staying

876
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 4: on like like all the stuff we've been talking about,

877
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,560
Speaker 4: how I like need to invest in gratitude. I need

878
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 4: to like be more understanding that I am lucky and

879
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 4: I do have a good life. Like all that sort

880
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,719
Speaker 4: of work, just reinforcing those those positive things that are

881
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:26,760
Speaker 4: real and are tangible and I need to pay attention

882
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 4: to them.

883
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, but it's it's a it's a muscle. It's

884
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:38,840
Speaker 2: like that, like trying to like be grateful and blissed

885
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 2: out and ship is a muscle because you can only

886
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 2: really like it's like doing planks, you know what I mean?

887
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 2: You know, like no, you know what I mean, Like you.

888
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 4: You can like the twenty and sixteen.

889
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 2: No, like the exercise, the exercise, Oh okay, you know

890
00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:01,799
Speaker 2: people will like plank for like like you know, people

891
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:05,800
Speaker 2: will like try to plank for like a minute or whatever,

892
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 2: and like you do it for ten seconds, and then

893
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 2: you can do it for twenty seconds, so then you

894
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,840
Speaker 2: can do it for thirty seconds. That's kind of like

895
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 2: gratefulness is like you can get yourself to a point

896
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 2: where you're like grateful and stoked for just the sun,

897
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 2: and you can get you can get yourself into that

898
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 2: mindset for like a minute a day, and then eventually

899
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 2: you know something's gonna piss you off or get you depressed.

900
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 2: You're gonna get out of it. But the more you

901
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 2: work the muscle, the more you'll be able to stay

902
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 2: in that mindset. You know. It's just like a muscle

903
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 2: you gotta work.

904
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 4: But actually, really yeah, I don't know why, dude, but

905
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 4: what you just said really struck a chord with me,

906
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,560
Speaker 4: Like you got to use that muscle. You gotta strengthen

907
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:47,280
Speaker 4: that muscle because I'm doing I got a foot issue

908
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,719
Speaker 4: and I'm doing physio at the moment, and it it

909
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 4: just really relates to me because the same concepts exist

910
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:57,879
Speaker 4: with healing, you know, your normal feet, muscles on muscles all. Yeah, exactly, Yeah,

911
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 4: that's yeah, that's actually you know, you said take it

912
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 4: with the grain of start of the cold, but uh,

913
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 4: I don't know. I think you did pretty well, came man.

914
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 2: Well I'm trying. I feel good. Well here's the thing, man,

915
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,640
Speaker 2: It's like I'm just I'm talking to you right now,

916
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 2: so I feel I feel good. But like tomorrow, at

917
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 2: like four pm, I'm gonna be anxious. You know what

918
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:22,839
Speaker 2: I'll do tomorrow at four pm when I'm anxious about something,

919
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 2: I'll just remember that I told you all this shit

920
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 2: and then I'll try it myself.

921
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 4: Dude, I was. I was just gonna try and and

922
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 4: try and say, dude, at four pm tomorrow, I'm thinking

923
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 4: about you. Stay strong, all.

924
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 2: Right, thanks man, all right, I'll uh, i'll maybe think

925
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:40,719
Speaker 2: of you too.

926
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 4: Oh look, you don't have to, buddy, no pressure. You

927
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 4: speak to a lot of people every day.

928
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:47,920
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that was I felt that I was. I'm

929
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 2: sorry for being a dick. I only did I only

930
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 2: did it because I thought I felt like you could

931
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,680
Speaker 2: take it, because I have respect for you.

932
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 4: Hey, it was funny. It was funny.

933
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 2: Sorry, I'm sorry. You're a cool guy. Man, That's cool

934
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 2: that Where in Australia are you?

935
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 4: I mean Brisbane? You've spoken to me twice?

936
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:07,280
Speaker 2: I have.

937
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 4: You have, dude? I thought i'd wait until the end

938
00:50:10,640 --> 00:50:12,839
Speaker 4: of the cold to tell you since you didn't recognize me.

939
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:19,200
Speaker 2: Well fucking all right? Well good. Did I speak with

940
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:19,880
Speaker 2: you in person?

941
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 4: No? No, no, no, just on the phone twice, once

942
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 4: before your Brisbane appearance and then once after when I

943
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 4: told you I missed you.

944
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:33,399
Speaker 2: Wait, so this is the third time I've talked to you.

945
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 4: This is I just wrote your your smiley face in

946
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:40,319
Speaker 4: chot but yeah, this is this is the first time that.

947
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:42,799
Speaker 2: Well I'm kicking you the fuck off the phone. Zach,

948
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:43,879
Speaker 2: have a good rest of the.

949
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 3: Night, have a lovely night, Lole you too.

950
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 2: Take care. Well. It's a good thing. All Australians sound

951
00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 2: the same.

952
00:50:53,239 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 5: All from Heather. Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, how are you?

953
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 2: I'm doing okay? How are you doing? What is your name?

954
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 3: I'm Heather.

955
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,840
Speaker 5: I am twenty three, so I am of legal age.

956
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:12,480
Speaker 5: I think I've called you at least like one hundred

957
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 5: times tonight.

958
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 2: We have we ever spoken before? Heather?

959
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:21,320
Speaker 5: No, I used to religiously listen to your podcast at

960
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:24,240
Speaker 5: like two years ago at one of my old jobs,

961
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:27,839
Speaker 5: and I left that job and stopped, and I just

962
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 5: it's my first time tuning in a while. So it's

963
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:30,720
Speaker 5: an honor.

964
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 2: Well, hell yeah, it's an honor to touch to you too, Heather.

965
00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:36,880
Speaker 5: So I feel like the last caller honestly touched on

966
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:38,840
Speaker 5: like some of the stuff that I want to talk about.

967
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 5: Because early this earlier this year, it was like January third,

968
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:47,799
Speaker 5: I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend of three

969
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:49,879
Speaker 5: and a half years, and then the next day I

970
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:54,719
Speaker 5: ended up losing my job. So I'm getting back on

971
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 5: my feet slowly but surely, but I'm struggling with a

972
00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 5: lot of like loneliness and stuff, and like, you know,

973
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 5: I live by myself, so it's like I don't have

974
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:07,000
Speaker 5: a lot of friends, so it's kind of just I

975
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:09,040
Speaker 5: don't know, it's it's been tough, but I don't know,

976
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,799
Speaker 5: I kind of just want advice about like well, but

977
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 5: I also feel like he gave that last last caller advice,

978
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 5: so I don't really know, but.

979
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:21,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Well, so when did you break up with

980
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 2: your boyfriend?

981
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 5: January third, after and a half.

982
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 2: Why did it end? What was the what was the

983
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:30,840
Speaker 2: impetus A lot?

984
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,680
Speaker 5: So I think I wanted the relationship to end, like

985
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 5: probably for the past year of it because it was

986
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 5: really toxic and I didn't realize it at the time.

987
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,279
Speaker 5: I started dating him when I was nineteen and that

988
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:48,919
Speaker 5: was like my first relationship, so yeah, it was. He

989
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 5: also accused me of cheating when you know, I'm at

990
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,800
Speaker 5: work all the time, and he ended up not working

991
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,400
Speaker 5: for most of the relationship, but he was still living

992
00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:00,719
Speaker 5: with me at my house, so it was just a

993
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 5: really like I don't know, I've joked to my friends,

994
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 5: but I feel like I have gpsc from it because

995
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 5: he ended up being a narcissist. And I found out

996
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:11,920
Speaker 5: like afterwards and like talked to like one of his

997
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:14,800
Speaker 5: friends that was like, you know, he's talking about you,

998
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 5: And I was like, Oh, what's up? Like what he

999
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 5: say and come and find out he was definitely a

1000
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 5: narcissist and stuff like that. So I'm like chill from

1001
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:24,359
Speaker 5: that now. But it is definitely, like I think, because

1002
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,640
Speaker 5: I'm not working full time, I'm only working part time now,

1003
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 5: I am very much struggling with just being in my

1004
00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:34,239
Speaker 5: house by myself all the time. If that makes sense.

1005
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:43,719
Speaker 2: Oh that makes a lot of sense. Hmmm, well, Heather, Uh,

1006
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:44,959
Speaker 2: what do you do for work?

1007
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 5: I work at Taco Bell right now?

1008
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 2: You work at Taco Bell.

1009
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just started like a month ago, a little

1010
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 5: bit of both. Honestly, it's it's so different. I'm used

1011
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,839
Speaker 5: to working like shitty jobs. Anyway, I'm sorry if I can,

1012
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 5: I think I can cuss on here.

1013
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:05,439
Speaker 2: I don't know, but it's always so I'm so sorry

1014
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:07,239
Speaker 2: to interrupt you. But it's always funny when people ask me,

1015
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:11,160
Speaker 2: Like if I was just gonna say, I feel like

1016
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,040
Speaker 2: if you've heard the podcast, you know that you could

1017
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:15,759
Speaker 2: say cut tits or what I eat? Whatever you want,

1018
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 2: but go ahead, go ahead. Sorry, no, you're good.

1019
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:20,680
Speaker 5: It's been a while since I've listened to a podcast,

1020
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:23,239
Speaker 5: so like it just yeah, I just I don't know, I.

1021
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:25,239
Speaker 2: Want to Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, it's right.

1022
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:29,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, I've worked a lot of shitty jobs. I work

1023
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 5: at Cheets, I worked at Duncan for two years and

1024
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 5: then but both of those places I can like kind

1025
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 5: of walk around more and roam around and like get

1026
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 5: my stubsence. But now I talk about it's like, you're

1027
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 5: just I'm not close claustrophobic, but it reminds me, like

1028
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,799
Speaker 5: I'm thankful I'm not claustrophobic, because if I was, I'd

1029
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 5: be having a panic attack every single every single day

1030
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 5: there because it's just standing in one spot and like

1031
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:55,359
Speaker 5: even if you have to walk somewhere, it's like ten

1032
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:58,280
Speaker 5: feet away, Like it's awful, Like but it's not horrible.

1033
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,880
Speaker 5: It's I mean, I'm making some money, so it's not horrible,

1034
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:03,919
Speaker 5: and I'm grateful, like I'm very grateful that I started there.

1035
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 5: But yeah, it's just rough. I'm trying to find a

1036
00:55:07,120 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 5: full time job because it's I need to pay my

1037
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 5: bills and everything. So but yeah, I don't know.

1038
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:14,319
Speaker 2: Do you have friends.

1039
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 5: Okay, so I was gonna say not really. One of

1040
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 5: my friends from out of state is actually coming into

1041
00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:26,840
Speaker 5: town this weekend or this week, I guess my weekend.

1042
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 5: So we're gonna be hanging out this week, and I'm

1043
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 5: really excited about it. But I'm not as excited as

1044
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,279
Speaker 5: I thought I would be, which is making me really

1045
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 5: bummed right now. She's coming into town tomorrow and we're

1046
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 5: gonna go hang out and go out and drink and everything,

1047
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:47,480
Speaker 5: but I'm not as excited. I think after the relationship

1048
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 5: and after leaving my last job, I kind of do

1049
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 5: feel like numb to a lot of stuff. And I

1050
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 5: think it's because I don't have like a lot of

1051
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:05,000
Speaker 5: structure from working hopefully, yeah, I guess so.

1052
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1053
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 2: I think having some kind of structure in your life

1054
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:13,560
Speaker 2: is important. If you could do anything, what would you do,

1055
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1056
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 5: But I like plants, so I thought about doing that.

1057
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:21,520
Speaker 5: Like last year, I was really into, like I could

1058
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:25,319
Speaker 5: start a plant business stuff like that. But also I

1059
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 5: feel like that's not realistic for me at this point

1060
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:30,920
Speaker 5: at least either, And I've really been struggling with the

1061
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,759
Speaker 5: motivation kind of stuff, Like I don't think I have

1062
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 5: the motivation or energy at least right now to do

1063
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 5: that because, like I said, I'm trying to get back

1064
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:41,800
Speaker 5: on my feet and everything from the past two months.

1065
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 5: So I don't know, I really don't know. I just

1066
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:51,400
Speaker 5: I just want to be financially financially stable and not

1067
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 5: have to worry about paying rent and bills and everything constantly.

1068
00:56:55,640 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 2: So do you do you live in like a high

1069
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:05,360
Speaker 2: cost of living place?

1070
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 5: Not really. My rent is eight fifty a month. I

1071
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 5: live in like the not really northern Virginia, but like

1072
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 5: the cheaper part of Virginia, I guess, so it's not bad.

1073
00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:21,479
Speaker 5: But it's like, you know, I never went to school

1074
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 5: or anything, so like I'm definitely like I'm just doing

1075
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:27,160
Speaker 5: like dead end jobs just to make ends meet.

1076
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 1: And I'm cool with it for the most part.

1077
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 5: But it's like, you know, I'm twenty three and I

1078
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 5: haven't been a manager anywhere, but I feel like I

1079
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:35,560
Speaker 5: have like I'm ready to be a manager. I'm ready

1080
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:41,280
Speaker 5: to make more money. But yeah, so yeah, I don't know.

1081
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:43,440
Speaker 5: It's just it's nice to errant though. It's nice event,

1082
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 5: so I really appreciate it, but it is, Yeah, it's

1083
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 5: been a struggle for sure.

1084
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, life is a little boring. No, I

1085
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 2: don't know. I don't know if that's true. I don't

1086
00:57:57,760 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 2: know if that's true.

1087
00:57:59,440 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 5: That's true.

1088
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:02,480
Speaker 2: It can it can be boring, But I also I

1089
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:04,920
Speaker 2: think it as well within one's agency to make it

1090
00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 2: uh exciting. I mean I always, I don't know. I

1091
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:16,439
Speaker 2: I get off on traveling around, running around, trying to

1092
00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:18,440
Speaker 2: fucking do stuff.

1093
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:21,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1094
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 2: I feel so useless right now because all I want

1095
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 2: to say to you is to go do stuff. But

1096
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:29,200
Speaker 2: I don't know what that means, but I sort of do.

1097
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:34,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's difficult when like, you know, like I gut

1098
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 5: Bay tomorrow. So like I'm not too worried about money,

1099
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:38,200
Speaker 5: but at the same time, I'm like behind on a

1100
00:58:38,200 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 5: bunch of bills. That's like, I you know, the financial stability.

1101
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 2: It's just like I feel like what builds your behind?

1102
00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 5: All of them.

1103
00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 2: Rents, rents, Okay, you have to pay rent.

1104
00:58:54,240 --> 00:58:58,800
Speaker 5: My car loan and my car insurance. My phone bill

1105
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:01,680
Speaker 5: is actually caught up okay, but like my gas mill,

1106
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:06,000
Speaker 5: water bill, probably electrical too. That's all the ones I

1107
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 5: can say out. But yeah, so it's like, but I still, like,

1108
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 5: you know, I'll like spend fifty dollars just to go

1109
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:16,080
Speaker 5: like out for a night and it's nice, it's fun.

1110
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 5: I forget about like my worries for a day or two,

1111
00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:21,000
Speaker 5: and then I'm like, oh shit, like I kind of

1112
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 5: should to just take FOD money.

1113
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 2: But yeah, where do you go at? Where does it

1114
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 2: cost fifty dollars to go out? You said you live

1115
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:27,640
Speaker 2: in Virginia.

1116
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, so we usually there's good bars in West Virginia

1117
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 5: and it's like thirty minutes away from me. And usually

1118
00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:38,919
Speaker 5: usually if I go with friends, they end up things

1119
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:42,560
Speaker 5: for my drink, but like to get in at twenty dollars.

1120
00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 2: And then, wait a minute, you told me you don't

1121
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 2: have any friends. That's a lie. You have friends.

1122
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:53,560
Speaker 5: Barely, Okay, friends I haven't seen in like six months probably,

1123
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 5: but it's.

1124
00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 2: Still friends, you don't you know? Don't You don't want

1125
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:57,760
Speaker 2: to go around saying you have my friends.

1126
00:59:57,800 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 5: You have friends, just not people I talk to like that,

1127
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 5: like I can really like openly.

1128
01:00:03,960 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 4: Talk to.

1129
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:06,840
Speaker 5: That should make sense.

1130
01:00:06,840 --> 01:00:07,439
Speaker 1: I hope it does.

1131
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,120
Speaker 2: But like you don't feel like you can open You

1132
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:11,280
Speaker 2: don't feel like you can openly talk to your friends

1133
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 2: who like the ones that you went.

1134
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:16,959
Speaker 5: Out for drinks with, well, we went out once, so

1135
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:20,640
Speaker 5: I'm not really okay. Yeah, So it's I don't have

1136
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 5: like a study group of friends.

1137
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 2: What would you want to openly talk to them about.

1138
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:29,400
Speaker 5: Honestly, like not to say my depression, but like because

1139
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,280
Speaker 5: I don't think I'm actually depressed.

1140
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:31,360
Speaker 2: But like.

1141
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:37,120
Speaker 5: Just you know, like the struggles of like being like

1142
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:40,040
Speaker 5: existing and stuff, I guess, and like trying to provide

1143
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:43,760
Speaker 5: for yourself and being independent, because it really is a struggle,

1144
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,920
Speaker 5: and it's I didn't realize like when I was sixteen,

1145
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:48,400
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm going to move out when I'm eighteen,

1146
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 5: I'm going to be like a baddie and independent and everything.

1147
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 5: And now that I'm doing it, it's like, holy shit,

1148
01:00:54,960 --> 01:01:02,200
Speaker 5: this is really fucking hard. Like I'm like, so, yeah, yeah,

1149
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:04,640
Speaker 5: it's just I don't know, it's just it's just crazy.

1150
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:06,800
Speaker 5: But I'm really honored, Like I said earlier, I'm really

1151
01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 5: honored that, like I got to talk to you, though, Oh.

1152
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:15,520
Speaker 2: Shit, thanks man. I feel well, I hope it was

1153
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 2: a good experience for you. So I almost feel like

1154
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 2: I had I I don't feel like I was able

1155
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:26,440
Speaker 2: to provide much on this phone call, but I'm I'm

1156
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 2: it's very sweet of you to say that. I hope

1157
01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 2: that you figure out uh the secrets and the meaning

1158
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:39,440
Speaker 2: of life, and if you do, report back, I'd love

1159
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 2: to hear it. Is there anything else you want to

1160
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:43,800
Speaker 2: say to the people of the computer before we go?

1161
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:48,480
Speaker 5: Heather, Uh, well, I'm drawing a blank, but just appreciate

1162
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:52,440
Speaker 5: what you do and honestly, you made my week. Thanks so,

1163
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:55,440
Speaker 5: But like you know, things do get better, like honestly,

1164
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,680
Speaker 5: and it's it's you know, like when you're going through

1165
01:01:57,720 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 5: the rest spots, it's really hard to see that, but

1166
01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:03,919
Speaker 5: it does get better. So you know, just keep keep

1167
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:07,600
Speaker 5: living it up kind of thing. But thank you again, Heather.

1168
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 2: Ghek bless and I'll uh, I'll cut you around the universe. Man,

1169
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 2: good good, good luck out there. Thanks for making tacos

1170
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:15,960
Speaker 2: for those who need them.

1171
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 5: Thank you, have a good night.

1172
01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:23,200
Speaker 2: You two, take care, Heather Guy. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here.

1173
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:26,919
Speaker 2: That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm

1174
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 2: releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire

1175
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 2: extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to

1176
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:40,080
Speaker 2: by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at

1177
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:45,000
Speaker 2: Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com Supercast subscribers get access

1178
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:48,920
Speaker 2: to bonus episodes, they get a completely ad free podcast

1179
01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:51,760
Speaker 2: feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my

1180
01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:55,480
Speaker 2: live shows, members only streams, and they help support my

1181
01:02:55,560 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 2: ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip

1182
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:03,600
Speaker 2: from this weeks members only bonus episode. I don't understand here,

1183
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:06,480
Speaker 2: So why are you? Why are you still seeing this woman?

1184
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:08,400
Speaker 4: I guess like.

1185
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 3: I'm kind of sad in a way of like, well,

1186
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,120
Speaker 3: I ever find someone like that again?

1187
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:16,360
Speaker 2: You know why where you just were just very attracted

1188
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 2: to her. Yeah, yeah, all right, that's it, right, m Yeah,

1189
01:03:26,120 --> 01:03:29,760
Speaker 2: that's so funny because that's if someone's hot enough, you'll

1190
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:36,000
Speaker 2: change religions for them. Yeah, of course, of course, I

1191
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,520
Speaker 2: mean I don't I don't blame you for that at all. Yeah,

1192
01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:42,320
Speaker 2: you know, if someone's hot enough. If someone's hot enough

1193
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 2: and they tell you to kill your uncle, people have

1194
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:49,320
Speaker 2: done that. If you want to hear this full conversation,

1195
01:03:49,440 --> 01:03:51,680
Speaker 2: you can sign up to become a premium member at

1196
01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:56,400
Speaker 2: therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find the link

1197
01:03:56,600 --> 01:04:02,120
Speaker 2: in the episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com.

1198
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:06,280
Speaker 2: All right, I have nothing else to say. The repy

1199
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:09,920
Speaker 2: Ken goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

1200
01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:12,200
Speaker 1: Therapy, Can goes doing his ride.

1201
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:14,440
Speaker 2: Who's teaching you how to the mod of your life?

1202
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,800
Speaker 2: Money's not really an expert.