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Speaker 1: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome back to the Bob Left Sets podcast.

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Speaker 1: My guest today is Taylor Momson of The Pretty Reckless Taylor,

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Speaker 1: good to have you here. Thanks for having me. It's

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Speaker 1: good to be here. Okay, you spent the last couple

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Speaker 1: of years in Maine. How did you end up in Maine.

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Speaker 1: A lot of the band is from New England, so

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Speaker 1: we spent a lot of time over the past decade

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Speaker 1: rehearsing up there, and I used to crash on couches

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Speaker 1: or stay at hotels, and after ten years I kind

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Speaker 1: of got old, so I finally got a place there

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Speaker 1: and uh and uh. We actually made the last record there,

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Speaker 1: so it was that that became my second home, and um,

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Speaker 1: I love it. It's great. Okay, means a big state

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to know the exact address, but

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Speaker 1: do you live like close to Boston near Portland's up

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Speaker 1: in the Boonies. We're in Maine area. I live about

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Speaker 1: forty five minutes from Portland, but it's on an island,

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Speaker 1: so it's very much it's very Stephen king Esk in

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Speaker 1: the middle of nowhere, very Horrorville, which I love. It's

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Speaker 1: it's right on the water, which is awesome. Um, very beautiful,

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Speaker 1: but very very isolated, which is it's kind of perfect

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Speaker 1: because I split my time between New York City and Maine,

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Speaker 1: so it's it's the exact opposite of New York City,

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Speaker 1: which is is great for writing when you need to

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Speaker 1: kind of get inside your own head and you know,

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Speaker 1: check out from the rest of the world. It's perfect.

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Speaker 1: And how do you get to the island. You drive,

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Speaker 1: it's not it's like there's a bridge, but it's a

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Speaker 1: very tiny little island with like ten houses and is

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Speaker 1: your house on the water? It is on the water.

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Speaker 1: It's actually on stilts in the water, which in the

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Speaker 1: winter can be a bit scary. Uh. There's always a

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Speaker 1: quick chance that it might collapse into the ocean, and

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Speaker 1: that can be a little nerve wracking when those gusts

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Speaker 1: are coming through. But uh, but no, it's it's very

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Speaker 1: cool and very very key to have found a very

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Speaker 1: unique place like that. Okay, and electricity internet cable is

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Speaker 1: all regular speed or you know, you have the curse

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Speaker 1: of the boonies. Nah, there's a bit of a curse.

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Speaker 1: The internet, you know, kind of goes in and out

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Speaker 1: the waters island water, so it's kind of crappy. Um,

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Speaker 1: but but it's it's also you know, it's still a

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Speaker 1: modern house too. I mean it's actually was built a

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Speaker 1: very long time ago. It was built in like the nine,

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Speaker 1: but but it's been modernized since. And are you a

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Speaker 1: loner or is this just a good place to be?

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Speaker 1: I'm I think it kind of depends on the month.

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Speaker 1: I mean we're on tour. I'm certainly not a loner,

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Speaker 1: but uh, I know I'm kind of a I would

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Speaker 1: say I'm a loner. I have very few friends, and

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Speaker 1: you know, very close friends, but very few. And I

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Speaker 1: very much appreciate my my alone time and my privacy,

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Speaker 1: just me and my dog hanging out and writing music.

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Speaker 1: And how far away are your bandmates? I'm not too far.

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Speaker 1: I mean the couple of our new hand sure guitar

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Speaker 1: player Ben's also in Maine and New York. He splits

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Speaker 1: his time as well like I do. Um, so not

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Speaker 1: not too far. But we rehearsed in Maine. I we

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Speaker 1: have rehearsal space right down the street from me, which

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Speaker 1: is awesome. We finally put that together and it's it's

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Speaker 1: very good. It's in an old armory, which is very cool. Um,

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Speaker 1: very grungy, and uh, I don't know rustic, I guess,

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Speaker 1: for lack of a better word, but it's it's it's awesome.

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Speaker 1: You can just make noise all the time. And we

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Speaker 1: finally set that up, which took about ten years to

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Speaker 1: get an actual official rehearsal space for us. So it's, uh,

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Speaker 1: I've been a long time coming. And what's a typical

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Speaker 1: day for you when you're not rehearsing. What's a typical

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Speaker 1: day look like in Maine? Um? Pretty boring, honestly. Uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, wake up, feed the dog, have some coffee. Uh,

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Speaker 1: check the weather, go for a walk, work out a

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Speaker 1: little bit, um, play music, write songs. Kind of. I

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Speaker 1: kind of stay in my house a lot of the time. Um.

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Speaker 1: Of course, when it's beautiful in the summer, I love

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Speaker 1: to swim, um in kayak. But I'm a big, big swimmer.

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Speaker 1: I do you know, lapse of for hours in the ocean. Um,

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Speaker 1: so that's kind of that's my main hobby. I guess that.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, wait a second, at this time of year

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Speaker 1: in June, the water is really cold. It's really cold.

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Speaker 1: It's it's even cold in August, like even in peak

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Speaker 1: swimming time. It's freezing never and we don't get that

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Speaker 1: nice California water. So you just jump in and then

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Speaker 1: endure the shock and wait till you adjust pretty much. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and and you know, swim until I can't feel my

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Speaker 1: hands and feed me more. That's always a good time

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Speaker 1: to get out when you go numb. Okay, You're band

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Speaker 1: members are older than you? Correct? How much older are they? Um?

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Speaker 1: I mean that's a good question. I don't even know

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Speaker 1: their actual ages. Um, I just just a number, Bob,

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Speaker 1: You know this, it's all about kindred spirits and that's

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Speaker 1: how I look at it. But they're they're like ten

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Speaker 1: years older than me. Does had you know, affect frame

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Speaker 1: of references or any positive or negative to them being

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Speaker 1: older than you? No? Um, I think you know. When

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Speaker 1: we formed the band, it was they were seasoned musicians,

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Speaker 1: which was wonderful for me. Um. They they actually the

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Speaker 1: band came about quite organically. We um. The three of them, Mark,

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Speaker 1: Ben and Jamie were actually in a band together for

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Speaker 1: many years. And I met I was a singer songwriter,

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Speaker 1: and I was kind of doing the rounds of working

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Speaker 1: with different producers and meeting different people, and I had

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Speaker 1: always wanted to be in a band. That was always

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Speaker 1: my goal and I had had like, you know, middle

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Speaker 1: school bands and things like that, but nothing serious. And uh.

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Speaker 1: I met our producer Cato while doing the rounds of

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Speaker 1: meeting everyone, and we hit it off immediately, and he

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Speaker 1: introduced me to Ben, our guitar player, and threw bound

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Speaker 1: I'm at the rest of the band, and I essentially

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Speaker 1: heard their band and went, well, I just want I

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Speaker 1: want to be in your band, but I want to

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Speaker 1: write the songs and I want to be a singer.

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Speaker 1: And so that's pretty much what happened. Um. We kind

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Speaker 1: of just come comborn combined forces and the pretty recklessness.

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Speaker 1: So how do you write the songs? Um? I get

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Speaker 1: asked this so much and I wish that there was

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Speaker 1: a let me ask you a different question before. Do

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Speaker 1: you write them alone or in concert with the other

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Speaker 1: band members? Uh? Well, Ben and I are the two

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Speaker 1: song writers of the band, so the two of us

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Speaker 1: are the only writers, um, and we have a really

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Speaker 1: good thing going. I it's there's no formula, and that

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Speaker 1: that you know that presents challenges. I wish there was.

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Speaker 1: I wish there was a way too. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: know how to write in a formula, but that's just

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Speaker 1: I don't find that pleasurable. That's not that's not why

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Speaker 1: I make music. I make music to express myself and

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Speaker 1: when I have something to say, say it, and um,

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Speaker 1: you know, music writing music was always this outlet for me,

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Speaker 1: uh that it's where I could really be myself and

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Speaker 1: really say what I felt and what I thought. And

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Speaker 1: it was kind of this this way that I could

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Speaker 1: process my emotions and my my thoughts and my brain

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Speaker 1: and kind of control the world around me. I guess,

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Speaker 1: or let or let let go of the control of

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Speaker 1: the world around me. I don't really. It was just

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Speaker 1: this place where I could be very honest. Um. And

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Speaker 1: so I fell in love with songwriting at a very

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Speaker 1: young age. And when I met Ben, he had a

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Speaker 1: very similar ethic to me in writing, and it just

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Speaker 1: was this kind of seamless transition as to writing together.

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Speaker 1: And and there is no formula. That's what makes the challenging.

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Speaker 1: There is no it starts with the guitar starts here.

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Speaker 1: It just the simple answer is it just it starts

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Speaker 1: with an idea and that can come from anywhere, and

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Speaker 1: that's that's what makes it tortuous, as you never know

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Speaker 1: where it's going to come from or if it's going

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Speaker 1: to come and and that can be a very scary

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Speaker 1: um time period, especially when you're trying to you know,

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Speaker 1: write in a new record and you don't know, you

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Speaker 1: don't know where to begin, um. And so it's a

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Speaker 1: lot of waiting around. Honestly, it's a lot of waiting

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Speaker 1: around for inspiration and something to strike you and that

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Speaker 1: turns into a song. And does he always do the music,

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Speaker 1: you always do the lyrics? Or do you share those?

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Speaker 1: Now we share everything. It's you know, each song is

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Speaker 1: done very differently. Um, Like I said, kind of the

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Speaker 1: only common thing is that it starts with an idea

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Speaker 1: and that can be a lyric, that could be a chord,

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Speaker 1: that could be a the sky looks pretty today, like

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Speaker 1: it get start at any from any place. Sometimes songs

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Speaker 1: come in five minutes. Sometimes they take five years, you know.

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Speaker 1: So it's um, it's it's it's interesting. I like I said,

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Speaker 1: I always might. I have this stupid joke that I

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Speaker 1: always say, and I always say, if I knew where

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Speaker 1: inspiration came from, I'd move there. It would make my

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Speaker 1: job a whole lot easier. But unfortunately I don't, So

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Speaker 1: you just have to kind of wait around for something

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Speaker 1: to strike you. And I mean, and there's there's a process,

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Speaker 1: I guess, not a process, but a way of doing that,

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Speaker 1: which is when I'm when I'm looking to write something, um,

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Speaker 1: when I get that itch if I haven't done it

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Speaker 1: in a while, or when I'm trying starting to write

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Speaker 1: a new record, I surround myself with art and from

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Speaker 1: you know, reading books and watching great films and uh,

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Speaker 1: listening to great records, and you know, taking long walks

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Speaker 1: and looking at great going to museums, looking at great art,

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Speaker 1: anything that's anything that could spark some sort of an idea.

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Speaker 1: And by listening and looking at the greats that have

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Speaker 1: come before me that I always find that very inspiring.

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Speaker 1: It just kind of puts my mind in a in

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Speaker 1: a place, in a settled place to begin, I guess,

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Speaker 1: let's go step by step in the nuts and bolts.

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Speaker 1: And I know every story is different. Do you write

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Speaker 1: in the same room, do you either he or he

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Speaker 1: gets an idea, then you get in the same room.

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Speaker 1: Do you send things back and forth? I know where

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Speaker 1: there's no road way to do it, but generally, how

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Speaker 1: does it go? All of the above? I mean, I've

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Speaker 1: lived in the same apartment in New York for at

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Speaker 1: right now, for over ten years now, and so this place,

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Speaker 1: I think this place has some giju in it. Um.

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Speaker 1: I've written pretty much all of all of our songs

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Speaker 1: here except for the ones that I wrote in Maine. Um.

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Speaker 1: The only kind of constant is its I tend to

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Speaker 1: need isolation to write, at least at least to really

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Speaker 1: get to the core of it. Like I'm I'm always

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Speaker 1: jotting down ideas and and things, but to really kind

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Speaker 1: of hone in on what I'm trying to say and

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Speaker 1: really focus it into a song that takes That takes isolation,

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Speaker 1: that takes away, that takes being away from people like so,

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Speaker 1: I tend to not write complete songs very often on

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Speaker 1: the road, um, just because it's the whole. It's a

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Speaker 1: whole whirlwind of you know, a different kind of lifestyle

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Speaker 1: that I hear You're very focused on that, and so

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Speaker 1: I it I need that kind of divide and step

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Speaker 1: back from life almost to be able to kind of

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Speaker 1: put my brain in the right mindset. And if that

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Speaker 1: makes it okay, Let's say you have an album you

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Speaker 1: want to do, you need material. How long do you

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Speaker 1: have to be in isolation to get there. Oh man again,

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Speaker 1: I wish I knew. I mean, I think that's probably

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Speaker 1: why there's a we have some space in between our albums.

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Speaker 1: I mean this last record, Uh, I wrote over the

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Speaker 1: course of probably two years, three years. Um. So it's

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Speaker 1: it's I don't know. I don't. I don't do it

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Speaker 1: like that. I don't write. I don't. I guess I said,

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Speaker 1: I sit down to write a record, but it's it's

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Speaker 1: not like that. It's not like, Okay, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: write an album in the next two months or whatever.

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Speaker 1: It's more I'm I'm always writing songs, and once I

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Speaker 1: have a collection of songs that are succinct and I'm

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Speaker 1: proud of and fit under the umbrella of a record

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Speaker 1: that tell this kind of complete story. Um, and I

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Speaker 1: feel like that chapter is complete, then then you make

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Speaker 1: an album. If that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely so you

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Speaker 1: said earlier, this is where you can be honest, this

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Speaker 1: is where you can be free. What is the message

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Speaker 1: you want to get across. It's a very good question.

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know that I have a message

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Speaker 1: like that. I think, Um, I think, I just I

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Speaker 1: write music to express myself and it makes me feel

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Speaker 1: good and it makes me feel better about life. UM.

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Speaker 1: And I think that, you know, it's it's where I

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Speaker 1: can deal with my problems. It's where I can uh.

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Speaker 1: But like at this this last album for example, like

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Speaker 1: I don't know that there's a message per se. I

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Speaker 1: think by the time the album was finished and I

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Speaker 1: could take a step back from it, um and listen

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Speaker 1: to it almost from an outside perspective, I realized that

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Speaker 1: it was actually a very hopeful record. And I think

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Speaker 1: that that's kind of what the message became. UM that

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Speaker 1: after all this turmoil and very we went through a

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Speaker 1: lot of trauma and tragedy in the past few years. Well,

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Speaker 1: I was before I was writing the album, or while

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Speaker 1: I was writing the album, and uh, and I think

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Speaker 1: when I took a step back from that, you know,

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Speaker 1: the writing of it and the making of the album

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Speaker 1: was me processing and dealing with everything I had gone through,

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Speaker 1: and it was kind of almost like my therapy. Um.

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Speaker 1: And then when I got to the other side of

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Speaker 1: it and actually listened to the record it, I saw

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Speaker 1: that it was this very hopeful album. And so I

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Speaker 1: think that became the message of death by rock and roll,

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Speaker 1: of there is light at the end. Of the tunnel

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Speaker 1: if you want to see it. And you know, even

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Speaker 1: when things seem very bleak and bad, things do get better.

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Speaker 1: And and I think that that's you know, that's kind

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Speaker 1: of what that album became. So I don't think I

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Speaker 1: have one general message that I'm trying to convey to

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Speaker 1: the world or in part other than rock and roll

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Speaker 1: is awesome and I'm playing guitars school and writing music

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Speaker 1: is super fun. Well, you know, let me let me

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Speaker 1: there's a conundrum at the heart of some of the

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Speaker 1: greatest artists. They channel their individualism and it resonates with everybody,

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Speaker 1: but they're one step removed. They feel like they're in

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Speaker 1: their own space or they're alone, or like, you know,

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Speaker 1: so you certainly had a lot of success being around

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Speaker 1: other people, and certainly if you listen to the earlier material,

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Speaker 1: it seems like a reaction to that. So, you know,

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Speaker 1: do you feel like you're in your own world and

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Speaker 1: therefore you can only just uh, just tell your truth

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Speaker 1: in the songs or you're a pretty active social person

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Speaker 1: and then you get to be yourself, but you write

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Speaker 1: songs too. No, I kind of feel like it's the

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Speaker 1: first one. I mean, I definitely feel like like I said,

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Speaker 1: music is where I can be myself. Music is where

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Speaker 1: I can process my life. Um and and and you know,

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Speaker 1: and you can only write. You can only write what

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Speaker 1: you know. You can only write your experience as your life.

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Speaker 1: And you know, sometimes if you're if you're daring, you

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Speaker 1: can delve into things that you see and people that

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Speaker 1: are around you and then you can write about that.

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Speaker 1: But it's it's a very personal thing because there is

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Speaker 1: you can You're limited to only what you know and

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Speaker 1: what you feel. And that's so that's that's what I do.

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Speaker 1: That's that's how I I don't know, it's just it's

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Speaker 1: how I think. Like writing songs make sense to me.

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Speaker 1: Music has always made sense to me. It's just the

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Speaker 1: language that I understand, um and never really was taught.

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Speaker 1: It just was. It always spoke to me in a

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Speaker 1: way that nothing else did. And so getting to create

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Speaker 1: something from nothing and and purely express yourself is such

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Speaker 1: a gift. But it's also it can be very lonely

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Speaker 1: because you know, even even if people connect to it

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Speaker 1: and understand it, they never will connect to it and

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Speaker 1: understand it on the level that I do or I feel.

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Speaker 1: If that that makes sense, Okay, the band is going

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Speaker 1: on the road. Uh, is that something you like to do?

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Speaker 1: I do? Especially now. Well, it's it's a catch twenty

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Speaker 1: two now because COVID is still going on, but especially now,

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Speaker 1: it's been a long time, like uh, because we lost

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Speaker 1: a lot of people very close to us. I kind

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Speaker 1: of went into isolation. We made the record, so it

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Speaker 1: was about five years until since we had toured UM

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Speaker 1: and so to finally be able to play the new

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Speaker 1: songs off the new record and be back out on

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Speaker 1: the road in front of the fans, it's such a

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Speaker 1: breath of fresh air after a five year long break,

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Speaker 1: which was not intentional, um, but it is. It is

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Speaker 1: still challenging with COVID though, Like you have to be

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Speaker 1: very very safe, so it's uh, you kind of you

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Speaker 1: live in a bubble, so it's it makes it a

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Speaker 1: little less fun, but in one way, it makes the

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Speaker 1: shows even more rewarding because that's really your that's where

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Speaker 1: you get to um have all the fun because everything

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Speaker 1: else is really boring. Right, So what works in terms

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Speaker 1: of performance? How do you make the audience connect with

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Speaker 1: you beyond the songs themselves. That's a very good question. Um,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't, I don't,

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Speaker 1: I've never I'm not one to super analyze what I

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Speaker 1: do because I think if I start to do that,

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Speaker 1: then I'll get too in my head about it. Um.

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Speaker 1: So as far as performing goes, I just try to

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Speaker 1: sing as well as I can and and perform as

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Speaker 1: honestly as I can, and really think about what I'm

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Speaker 1: saying and what I'm singing, and and try to connect

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Speaker 1: to the audience that way, and and just by being

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Speaker 1: very honest. And then there's also a you know, an

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Speaker 1: element of showmanship of course, when you're on a stage

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Speaker 1: that you know, there's lights and there's just makeup, and

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Speaker 1: there's you know a bit of extra you know, moving

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Speaker 1: around that you don't do in the recording studio and

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Speaker 1: things like that. But uh, you know that that makes

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Speaker 1: for a fun show. But honestly, I think the the

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Speaker 1: most fun and the connection comes from the fans being

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Speaker 1: so into it, if that makes sense. And so you

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Speaker 1: can really it's this it's a it's a drug that

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Speaker 1: you can't really get anywhere else playing live because you

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Speaker 1: create this kind of symbiotic relationship with the fans where

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Speaker 1: you essentially become one in this in this nightly experience

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Speaker 1: that only lasts for one night and then you move

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Speaker 1: on to the next town, and it's it's the same

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Speaker 1: experience but completely different. And so that it's it's always

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Speaker 1: it's like groundhog Day, but never the same. So it's

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Speaker 1: it's very cool, it's a very it's it's difficult to

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Speaker 1: call it a job. Um, it's it's super super fun.

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Speaker 1: The job is the travel, the draw, The job is

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Speaker 1: everything around touring, but playing is simply a pleasure. Okay,

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Speaker 1: do you have a set list you use every night

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Speaker 1: or does the set list change? The set list is

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Speaker 1: always ever of all vena. This is this is the first,

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Speaker 1: and I won't say the first, but close to the

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Speaker 1: first time that we've actually had an issue putting a

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Speaker 1: set list together because we finally have we have so

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Speaker 1: much material now that we don't know how to hone

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Speaker 1: it down. Um, but you know, so we we put

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Speaker 1: together kind of a roundabout set lists depending on what

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Speaker 1: the shows are for. If it's an opening slot you

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Speaker 1: have x amount of time, a festivality of x amount

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Speaker 1: of time, and a headline show, you have obviously much

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Speaker 1: more leeway to kind of play with um and do

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Speaker 1: what you want. But so we have kind of three

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Speaker 1: set lists based on times that we work with and

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Speaker 1: then depending on the night, depending on how I'm feeling

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Speaker 1: and how the guys are feeling, we we alternate a

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Speaker 1: few songs and um, switch it up and and and

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Speaker 1: that's making it that's making tour and excuse me, that's

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Speaker 1: making touring very fun this time around two is that

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Speaker 1: it's not the same show every night, so it doesn't

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Speaker 1: get monotonous. It doesn't become this kind of your board

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Speaker 1: of the material by the third week. You know. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's assume you are the opening band, which you certainly

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Speaker 1: have been a number of times in your career. Even worse,

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Speaker 1: you might even be playing in daylight and it's it's

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Speaker 1: really the headliners audience and you play. How do you

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Speaker 1: win over the audience? Mm hmmm, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: wish I again, I wish I had a good answer.

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Speaker 1: I wish there was some little trick that you could

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Speaker 1: do that it would just magically make everyone love you.

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Speaker 1: But unfortunately that's not how the world works. So we

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Speaker 1: really just I, you know, I try to treat opening

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Speaker 1: shows or any show like it's our own show. And

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Speaker 1: that's how that's how I approach it like, we put

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Speaker 1: on the best show we possibly can, you know, play

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Speaker 1: the hell out of the songs, and and hope that

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Speaker 1: people like it and hope that they respond to it.

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Speaker 1: And you can't expect everyone in the in the world

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Speaker 1: to love you like that's just an unrealistic goal. So, um,

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Speaker 1: I think our our goal is to put on a

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Speaker 1: show that we're proud of, that we like because I

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Speaker 1: love playing in a band. Because I love playing in

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Speaker 1: a band. So if I'm having fun, you know, pathetically,

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Speaker 1: you should be having fun too. I hope that that translates. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so every act needs fans to survive, but the fans

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Speaker 1: want a lot. What is your personal relationship with fances, Like,

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Speaker 1: you know, are there twenty people you know by face,

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Speaker 1: you know by name? Do you want to keep everybody

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Speaker 1: at arm's length? What's the situation? Um? Well, social media

399
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Speaker 1: has certainly changed the relationship with fans drastically, um because

400
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Speaker 1: when we started a social media was around, but it

401
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Speaker 1: was certainly not what it is today. Um. So I

402
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Speaker 1: think that, you know, it's a bit of both. I

403
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Speaker 1: think there's there's some super fans that come to every

404
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Speaker 1: show and follow us around the country. And I, you know,

405
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Speaker 1: follow them on Twitter and we'll chat, and I see

406
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Speaker 1: their faces everywhere and know who they are. And then

407
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Speaker 1: there's the kind of the mass, the masses of where

408
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Speaker 1: I don't know you individually, but I'm very appreciative of

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Speaker 1: of your support because I can't do this without them,

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Speaker 1: And you know, I can still write songs and I'd

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Speaker 1: probably still be making records, but you know, no one

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Speaker 1: would hear them if I didn't have any fans. So it's, uh,

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Speaker 1: it's I feel very fortunate to have fans. And it's

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Speaker 1: a it's a fine line of because I'm a very

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Speaker 1: I'm a very private person and so I kind of

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Speaker 1: struggle writing that line with social media of how much

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Speaker 1: of my life do I share and how much do

418
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Speaker 1: I keep private? And I think that it's a it's

419
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Speaker 1: a balance and a kind of teetering act that I'm

420
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Speaker 1: always playing with and trying to get more comfortable with

421
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Speaker 1: sharing more of myself, but at the same time, um

422
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Speaker 1: keeping myself protected to a degree to where I can

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Speaker 1: still be myself. And that's not that's not for every

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Speaker 1: you know, that's not for everyone. Not everything about me

425
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Speaker 1: is for everyone. Everything everything that I put into the

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Speaker 1: music and that I put forth into the world is

427
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 1: for everybody. But the you know, I still have my

428
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 1: private life that I keep just for myself as a

429
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 1: human beings. So it's this fine balance that I'm always

430
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:07,159
Speaker 1: kind of toying with, and I still haven't quite figured

431
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,880
Speaker 1: it out. I think, well, if you had any personal

432
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 1: bad experience this result of fans, you know, one in

433
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 1: ten fans is literally certifiably insane. It's just you don't

434
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 1: know which one it is. We have certainly had some

435
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:25,919
Speaker 1: some crazy experiences with fans, some that have gotten a

436
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 1: bit out of hand, um, more physical. I mean, well, no,

437
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 1: it's but there's been both. I mean, I don't I

438
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 1: can't get into it. But we've had stalker issues with

439
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 1: where literally the FBI has been called and been deposed

440
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:42,199
Speaker 1: and and you know, very serious issues that I'm not

441
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,119
Speaker 1: actually really allowed to talk to talk about. Um. So

442
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 1: there's that side of things, which is super fun and

443
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 1: totally totally not scary at all. Um. But then there's

444
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 1: you know, the crazy encounters that shows and things where

445
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 1: like we I used to bring I used to bring

446
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 1: fans up on stage during a song called going Down.

447
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,159
Speaker 1: That was this very fun moment in the show, and

448
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 1: I did that for years, and we went to We're

449
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,920
Speaker 1: playing in China, and I brought fans up and the

450
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 1: chaos that ensued on stage, the the aggression and mayhem

451
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 1: where it just it got a little out of hand

452
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 1: and we didn't have security and it got dangerous where

453
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,160
Speaker 1: my hair was ripped out of my head a girl.

454
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 1: The groping became very um unmanageable where I couldn't defend myself,

455
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 1: and so we had to stop doing that. So there's,

456
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 1: you know, certain antics we had to kind of tone

457
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 1: down just for personal safety, physical safety and things like that.

458
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,640
Speaker 1: But but in general, I think fans are just they're

459
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 1: just enthusiasts. You know, I'm a fan. I'm a fan

460
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 1: of music. So it's it's getting to see your artists.

461
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,679
Speaker 1: You want to let loose and have fun, but you know,

462
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 1: just just don't go just don't go too far. Okay,

463
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 1: you started off with theme from television. Was that a

464
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 1: good thing or a bad thing for your musical career?

465
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 1: I think it was a catch twenty two. I think

466
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 1: I think that in in one way it was. It

467
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 1: was great because I had, you know, I had some

468
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: name recognition, and so when we put out the first album,

469
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 1: there was an immediate kind of there's an immediate attention

470
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 1: put on it where you know, it was put out

471
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 1: in a in a real way where you know, we

472
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 1: could play a show and people would show up. Um.

473
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 1: But in the grand scheme of things, I think that

474
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:34,439
Speaker 1: it was actually quite detrimental because it was a It

475
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:38,719
Speaker 1: was an extremely hard thing to overcome people's perception of

476
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 1: me and that you know, people saw me as this

477
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 1: character that they watched on TV every week. And I

478
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: fully understand that. I fully understand watching your favorite TV

479
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: show and seeing that actor as the character that you

480
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 1: see on television. They're not a real person, they're that character.

481
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: And so to kind of to disassociate myself from that

482
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 1: character and have people see me as myself and as

483
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:04,479
Speaker 1: a musician and and as everything that I truly was

484
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 1: inside was was challenging. And to kind of gain you know,

485
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 1: there was a hurdle to kind of overcome, to gain credibility,

486
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 1: where I think a lot of people saw this as

487
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 1: like some sort of vanity project or this fleeing thing, like, oh, well,

488
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 1: she's putting on a record because she can and whatever.

489
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,640
Speaker 1: When and when in reality, it was music is everything.

490
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 1: That I am and everything that I have to give,

491
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 1: and I was trying to share that with the world

492
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: and getting kind of hit from me from multiple sides

493
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,160
Speaker 1: of it's hard to it's hard to prove yourself and

494
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,400
Speaker 1: and because there's no real way to do it, there's

495
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 1: no good way to do it. You can't sit there

496
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 1: and tell someone no, I'm this, and they're going to no,

497
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,199
Speaker 1: you're this, and that arguing about it doesn't do anything.

498
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 1: So it really just took time. It took to doing

499
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 1: this for ten years and continuing to put out music

500
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: and continuing to tour to have people kind of have

501
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 1: that shift happened where people see me as Taylor Mompson

502
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 1: and not this character I played, And so that was

503
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,160
Speaker 1: a bit of a challenge, but it's it feels good

504
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,440
Speaker 1: to be on the other side of it finally. Okay,

505
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,639
Speaker 1: when you made this transition, talking about the insight, you know,

506
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 1: you have an age and maybe you have a manager,

507
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 1: you have an attorney, you have people are making money

508
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 1: from you. Okay, what did they say when you wanted

509
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: to be a musician? Oh man, they were not well

510
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 1: when I when I said that I wanted to pursue music,

511
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 1: they were all for that when I said I wanted

512
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 1: to quit everything else to pursue music, and that was that.

513
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 1: Gods of phone calls. People were not happy about that, um,

514
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 1: because it was actually it was a big fight of mine. Um.

515
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 1: You know, I was on the show gossip Girl and

516
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: it was doing extremely well. And I became as I

517
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 1: was getting older. You know, I started acting when I

518
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 1: was two years old. I was put into it with

519
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:48,199
Speaker 1: my family. Um. You know, no no resentment there or anything.

520
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,719
Speaker 1: You know. I think all those stories kind of got

521
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 1: blown out of proportion. When I was younger, I said

522
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 1: some crazy things and they got taken out of context.

523
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 1: But you know, I started acting when I was very young.

524
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,879
Speaker 1: But it was never this. It was never something that

525
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 1: I chose for myself. It was something that I just

526
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: always did and I didn't really know any differently. And

527
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 1: when I started to get a little older in my

528
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 1: teenage years, I had this kind of revelation where I realized, oh,

529
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 1: I don't I don't have to do this, Like this

530
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 1: is a job that I can quit. And it was

531
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:21,040
Speaker 1: like this, you know, lightning one off in my mind

532
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:22,639
Speaker 1: where it was like, oh, this is so simple. I

533
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: can just play in a band. I can just write

534
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 1: songs and do what I love. I don't have to

535
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 1: do this other thing amazing woman to do that. And

536
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 1: so when I made that decision in my head and

537
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 1: then proceeded to tell everyone that, that's when I got

538
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: a bit of, you know, a bit of a reaction,

539
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 1: but a bit of backlash. And it was it was

540
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,119
Speaker 1: actually quite challenging to leave the show because I was

541
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,879
Speaker 1: under contract. So it turns out quitting was not that easy. Um,

542
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 1: And so it was that it was a very long

543
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: process of me trying to get out of out of

544
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 1: the show. And I really came down to I had

545
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 1: to call. I called Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage, the

546
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,399
Speaker 1: Cree leaders and writers, and begged them. I just begged them.

547
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,920
Speaker 1: I want this is making This isn't making me happy anymore.

548
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: This is this is this is not what I want

549
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 1: to be doing with my life. I'm very thankful for

550
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 1: everything you've given me and the platform that you've put

551
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 1: me on, and this has all been a great experience.

552
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:17,679
Speaker 1: But I'm as a person and as a as a

553
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: growing woman, I need to go explore what I really

554
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 1: want to do. And they because cw the head of

555
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: Warren brothers had a c W. He was not uh,

556
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 1: he was not going to let me out of my contract.

557
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 1: So there was no way to get out of it.

558
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: And so thankfully Stephanie and Josh, actually they want, we

559
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 1: can't let you out of your deal, but what we

560
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: can do is we can write your character out. Um.

561
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 1: So that's what they did, and so they slowly kind

562
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 1: of transition my character out of by writing it that

563
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: way and allowed for me to go on tour and

564
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 1: and really pursue my passion. And for that, I'm just

565
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: forever grateful and indebted because they just they didn't have

566
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 1: to do that, and I wouldn't be where I am

567
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: now if they hadn't. So I'm just can't say thank

568
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 1: you to them enough. Okay, if you're working on a

569
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 1: TV show until you're on hiatus, the hours are unbelievably long,

570
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: you know, and you almost can't live a life. So

571
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,400
Speaker 1: you can look at your bank account. You're getting paid,

572
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: but you're not really spending any money, not thinking about it.

573
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 1: And certainly once the show was picked up, it gets

574
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: relatively lucrative. Generally speaking, music doesn't pay that well, especially

575
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 1: not at the beginning. So once you got to the

576
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 1: other side, you're extricated, you make a record. Whatever did

577
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 1: you ever think, holy funk, what did I do? Or

578
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 1: did you say, wait a second, this isn't what I

579
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 1: thought it was going to be. Well, first of all,

580
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: I was making to speak about long hours for a second,

581
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: because yeah, they're long hours. I mean, I was making

582
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 1: the first album Light Me Up while I was still

583
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 1: on the show. So I was going to work at

584
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 1: four in the morning, working until about seven at night,

585
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 1: and then going straight to the studio and king in

586
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: the studio toel I don't know, two in the morning,

587
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 1: sleeping about two hours a night, and going right back

588
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 1: to work. So I was burning the candle at both ends.

589
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 1: And I think that was part of my decision to

590
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 1: leave the show as well as It's just like I

591
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 1: can't physically do both these things and one of them

592
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: I love and can't not do um, So that was

593
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: that was a challenge, and it's I get well now,

594
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 1: I just kind of lost my train of thought because

595
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 1: what was your question. I'm sorry, Bob. You know, once

596
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: you finally extricate yourself and you are a musician, did

597
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 1: you have any second thoughts and did you ultimately confront

598
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: money issues? Like, Wow, this is gonna be hard. I'm

599
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 1: gonna have to adjust things. Well. Money issues, of course,

600
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: money issues is always a I think that's something that

601
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 1: no matter what level of life you've reached, you're always

602
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 1: you know, I think even the biggest actors in the world,

603
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: you know, they still have money issues, right, Like doesn't everyone,

604
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 1: So you know that's but that's something that's something you

605
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:56,479
Speaker 1: figure out as you go. Um as far as thinking

606
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 1: did I make the right decision or or asking anything

607
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:01,959
Speaker 1: like that, that was that was never a question. As

608
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 1: soon as I left and was just doing music full time,

609
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 1: I finally felt free. I finally felt happy in a

610
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 1: way that I'd never I never really felt in my

611
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 1: life before. And then that's you know, that's the feeling

612
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't trade anything for. You know, I'll be broken.

613
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: I'd rather be broken happy than rich and and unhappy.

614
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 1: You know. Okay, you grow up in Seeing Louis, how

615
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 1: do you end up in show business? It's a good question.

616
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 1: I again, none of this is from my memory, but

617
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 1: the story goes uh that I my mom had some

618
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,719
Speaker 1: photographer friends who took some photos of me when I

619
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: was like one and two. They somehow got sent to

620
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: a modeling agency. Um, I got so, I got it

621
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 1: started with I got signed to Ford Modeling when I

622
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 1: was two and somewhere and going on calls for modeling gigs.

623
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 1: I I guess I was very chatty. I'm not I'm

624
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 1: not sure. I remember myself being a very shy kid,

625
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: but I guess I was very talkative when I was little.

626
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: And uh, my modeling agents said, you know, she should

627
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 1: go on auditions, and so that was kind of the

628
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 1: quick transition and to suddenly I was going on acting auditions.

629
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 1: And I actually booked my first audition, which was for

630
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 1: a commercial for Shake and Bake, and so that was

631
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 1: kind of, you know, the opening of the doors, I guess.

632
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: And from that it was just my my family, Mom

633
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 1: and I would travel and go on auditions. We'd spend

634
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: summers in New York. Um, and just go back and forth.

635
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 1: I was kind of in and out of school and um, yeah,

636
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,719
Speaker 1: and then that's kind of how that happened. Okay, so

637
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 1: how many kids in the family, Just me and my

638
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 1: younger sister. Okay, the younger sister followed this path at all.

639
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 1: She she went on some auditions when she was younger,

640
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 1: but she didn't. It wasn't the same thing as it

641
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 1: was with me. So she did a couple of small

642
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 1: roles when she was younger, and then that was it.

643
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 1: And what did your father do when you and your

644
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 1: mother were out working? He worked. He was a full

645
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: time a full time job. I still never really understood

646
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 1: what he did, but when he does. He he worked

647
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: with electronics. He worked for a company called gp X. UM.

648
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember that he designed the

649
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 1: discman like he before computers and stuff. He would draw

650
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 1: the actual like what the new walkman and stuff would

651
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 1: look like. Um. So he was on the creative side

652
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: of of physical uh music players, which was actually quite cool.

653
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: And then uh, and now he works for now he's

654
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 1: works for another company. And I probably shouldn't go into

655
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 1: what he does because I don't know if he'd like that.

656
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 1: But but he was. He was at home working, and

657
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 1: my mom and I would travel. And with your mom

658
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: when you're two years old, that's fun. At some point,

659
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: he gets old. At some point. I don't know that

660
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: the travel ever got old. I loved going to different places.

661
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 1: I loved New York City because that's where it started.

662
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 1: Is we would we would go to New York in

663
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: the summers when I was out of school and uh,

664
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 1: you know, kind of rent a place for a couple

665
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: of months and I'd go on auditions and and do

666
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 1: that thing there, and I fell in love with the city.

667
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: Was so it makes it makes a lot of sense

668
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 1: that I still live here. Um. I love the energy

669
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 1: of it. And so the traveling I think was actually

670
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 1: quite fun. But the constantly not really being in school

671
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:17,760
Speaker 1: and not really having a a traditional childhood, I guess

672
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: certainly kind of took its toll on me in certain

673
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,840
Speaker 1: ways where I became very introverted because I didn't have

674
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 1: a lot of friends. I didn't know how to connect

675
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 1: to normal kids my age, I guess because I was

676
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: living in this very different life than they were, and

677
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 1: so it put me in this very kind of isolated

678
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: internal bubble, which is honestly when I turned to writing music,

679
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 1: I started writing music before I even really knew what

680
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 1: I was doing. I guess I started writing songs and

681
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,439
Speaker 1: you know, just how I was feeling, and I write

682
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 1: it down and I put it to melody and little

683
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 1: poems and things as as a kid like, you know,

684
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,759
Speaker 1: terrible songs, but songs nonetheless, and that's kind of where

685
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: I fell in love with it. Of this, of this

686
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 1: this world that I could create inside my own head,

687
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 1: that nobody he could touch, and it was just mine.

688
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: And um, it made me feel safe, I guess. So

689
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,240
Speaker 1: what was it like going to school? And then eventually

690
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: when you get on a series, you're not in regular

691
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 1: school at all? No? Um, well in I mean elementary

692
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: school was in then out of school a lot uh where.

693
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 1: But I was still in school. I was in Catholic school.

694
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: And so when I would go do a role or something,

695
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 1: um and be gone for a couple of months, the

696
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: school would give me my work and I would do

697
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 1: it on set with a tutor. Um. So I was

698
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: technically still enrolled in a school. And then when I

699
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 1: moved to New York when I booked Gossip Girl, I

700
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: moved here when I was twelve or thirteen. Um, officially,

701
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 1: I spent about it. I spent my freshman year of

702
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 1: high school trying to go to a school, trying to

703
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: go to a public school here in the city. Um,

704
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 1: and just the work hours are so nuts that I

705
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,840
Speaker 1: gave up on that. I gave up on that and

706
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 1: left and and just homeschooled and ended up graduating high

707
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,919
Speaker 1: school when I was like sixteen. Um, just by doing

708
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 1: it on set with the tutor and just knock on

709
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 1: the workout. Do you have any regrets you didn't go

710
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 1: to college. No, I don't, but I thought about it.

711
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 1: I wanted to go for like for writing or something,

712
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: you know, something language arts or something like that. But

713
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:21,280
Speaker 1: I also think that college is something that you can

714
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: always go back to. UM. And I'm I wouldn't say that.

715
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: I never would do that either, if you know, if

716
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 1: I wanted to learn a different skill, because I think

717
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 1: it's always good to better yourself, but you can do

718
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 1: that at any age. UM. But no, I joined a

719
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,399
Speaker 1: rock and roll band. There's no regrets. What sixteen year

720
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 1: old doesn't want to fift I'm sorry, fifteen year old

721
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:39,839
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be in a rock and roll band

722
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 1: and tour of the country. I got to do that

723
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:45,400
Speaker 1: and it's awesome. Okay, so you're on a TV show.

724
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: What's it like having all that attention? Um? It was.

725
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: It was definitely different than what I was used to

726
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,240
Speaker 1: because I had been you know, I had been acting

727
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 1: my whole life, and I've been in lots of roles

728
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 1: and you know, some more high profile than other but

729
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 1: never involved in the tabloid aspect of things. And Gossip

730
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 1: Girl was a that was a transition to get in,

731
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 1: an adjustment, to get used to where suddenly and you

732
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 1: walked out of your house there was you know, paparazzi

733
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 1: on the street and they're following you around and uh,

734
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 1: and suddenly your personal life became public literally being photographed

735
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 1: and put into into for public consumption. And so that

736
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,440
Speaker 1: was that was different. That was strange, um because it

737
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: happened overnight too. It was very There was no like

738
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 1: slowly getting more and more famous. It was no one

739
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 1: knows who you are, and the next day there's thirty

740
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 1: people outside your house. And so it was very shocking,

741
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: I think at first. But I think I've adapted quickly

742
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 1: to it and and kind of got used to it.

743
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 1: And you know, I think Liam is Liam Gallagher. I

744
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 1: think Liam Gallagher said, He's like, you know, fame is

745
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 1: this kind of thing that you just keep keep kicking

746
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 1: over your shoulder. It's this this this nuisance. It's there,

747
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:01,839
Speaker 1: but it's you know, it's not what it's about. It's

748
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 1: it's very fleeting, and it's just this thing that is

749
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 1: around and you just learn to manage it. Okay, A

750
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 1: lot of people who are very famous at that age

751
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 1: grow up very fast. They drink, they do drugs, they

752
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 1: have sex. What was your experience, Well, um, I think

753
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 1: if you listen to my albums, it's probably some indication

754
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: of what my life is like. Um But no, I

755
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 1: mean I I certainly grew up very quickly. Um. I

756
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: you know I've never had friends at my own age

757
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 1: that all my friends are older than me, even when

758
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: I was like a kid. Um but I think that's

759
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 1: just that's just subject to my surroundings. You know, That's

760
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: not that wasn't necessarily by choice. It's just the people

761
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 1: that I could identify with and communicate with and and

762
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 1: felt a kindred you know, spirit with or whatever just

763
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 1: happened to always be older, just due to the my

764
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 1: life circumstances. Um. So, I certainly you know I grew

765
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 1: up quickly, and I've I've now mellowed out in my

766
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 1: old age of eight. So you're writing songs from a

767
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 1: young age. At what point do you say to yourself,

768
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 1: wait a second, I can do this. I want to

769
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 1: do it. I think I always knew that, and it

770
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 1: was always something that I was pursuing, um, just the differences.

771
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 1: When you're you know, a led ten eleven years old.

772
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,399
Speaker 1: You can have an acting career, but I don't think

773
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 1: anyone wants to listen to what a ten year old

774
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 1: has to say in music, at least I hope not. UM.

775
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 1: So you know, I had to get to an age

776
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 1: where I had enough life experience and I had enough

777
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 1: um enough, I had enough things to say that we're

778
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,799
Speaker 1: you know, important and relevant and and get to and also,

779
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 1: you write a lot of bad songs before you write

780
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 1: good ones. It's just you know, how it goes. And

781
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,919
Speaker 1: so I had to get to a place where I

782
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: actually wrote a record's worth of material that I genuinely

783
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 1: wanted the world to hear in and I was super

784
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 1: proud of and wanted to put out in a public way. Um.

785
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 1: And so that's really all it was. It was just

786
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 1: a lot of practice and when I finally met the

787
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 1: right people, formed the band, you know, wrote records worth

788
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: of songs that I was really proud of. It all

789
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,279
Speaker 1: just kind of came together very seamlessly, um, in this

790
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 1: very chismic kind of magical way that you know, it's

791
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 1: very lucky in in this world. I think like it.

792
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:29,240
Speaker 1: You know, finding finding musical partners and like minded people

793
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 1: is a challenge. And the fact that it kind of

794
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: all just everything just kind of fell into place at once,

795
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:37,239
Speaker 1: that that's kind of that's the best way to say it.

796
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 1: We're just all kind of clicked and it was just

797
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 1: it flowed like water. You listen to your music, it's

798
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 1: what we call active rock today. Maybe I would think

799
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,399
Speaker 1: that'd be the best description. And although you talk about

800
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 1: your influences online, the first thing I hear is a

801
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 1: C d C. This is very different from when a

802
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 1: C d C was really happening in late seventies and

803
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 1: early eighties, where everything mixed together. One could say that

804
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 1: hard rock is its own ghetto. Most people who have

805
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 1: fame in other areas going to pop okay, stuff that

806
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 1: Spotify Top fifty, work with producers, etcetera. How did you

807
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,280
Speaker 1: decide to go? I'm sure the music led you there,

808
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 1: but you're a smart person. You must have realized where

809
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 1: you were going. I did. I didn't. I didn't. I

810
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was that calculated. I wasn't because

811
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 1: I wasn't doing I wasn't making music for fame and

812
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 1: success like that was never my goal. I already had

813
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 1: that to a degree with something else, so I knew,

814
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: I had experienced that. I knew what that was, and

815
00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 1: that was never a goal of mine. It was something

816
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 1: that it just was. It was. It wasn't necessarily interesting

817
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,319
Speaker 1: to me. I you know, I really got into music

818
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 1: because I wanted to express myself, and rock and roll

819
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 1: was always just what I loved, you know, It's what

820
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 1: I grew up with. That's what I grew up with

821
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: listening to and fell in love with. And you know,

822
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 1: the depth of the music from you know, they started

823
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:14,320
Speaker 1: they started with the Beatles, which is you know, not uncommon,

824
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: I would say, but I fell in love with the Beatles,

825
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:20,240
Speaker 1: and then Led Zeppelin and the Who and Pink Floyd

826
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 1: and A. C. D. C. And Neil Young and uh,

827
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 1: when I got a little older, it was you know,

828
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: Jimmy Hendrix, and then all the nineties stuff with Sound

829
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:33,439
Speaker 1: Garden and Nirvana and Oasis and Pearl Jam and and

830
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: and just every every band and artist that I loved

831
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,279
Speaker 1: was under the genre of rock and roll where it

832
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,759
Speaker 1: was just this kind of pure, the purest form of

833
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: self expression and an aggression and vulnerability and and it

834
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 1: was smart. Um you know, it had depth and it

835
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,480
Speaker 1: had layers to it, and it wasn't this kind of fleeting,

836
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 1: you can bop your head to it music. It was

837
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 1: something that you could really sit with and and and

838
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 1: escape into and go somewhere else. And that's that's the

839
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: kind of music that I always um loved and and

840
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 1: still love and and that's the kind of music that

841
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 1: I wanted to make. Um that and I also just

842
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: love electric guitars because they're super fun. So okay, so

843
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 1: you've had I think five number one you know, rock tracks,

844
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 1: But you can have a number one rock track and

845
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,439
Speaker 1: of America doesn't even know who you are, never mind

846
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 1: heard the track. Is that frustrating? I think that it's

847
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: a good question. I don't I don't know that I've

848
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 1: ever looked at it in a way of frustration. I

849
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 1: think that I think that there's music that deserves to

850
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 1: be I think that there's you know, rock and roll

851
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,879
Speaker 1: has become this very niche market. I don't think that

852
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 1: that's a you know, a surprise to anyone, and I

853
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 1: don't think that that's necessarily deserved. Um. I think that

854
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 1: how do I want to say this? And you know,

855
00:43:57,880 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 1: to meet Rocket, you have to remember that rock and

856
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 1: rolls alway has been on the outskirts. You know, it's

857
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:06,320
Speaker 1: it's never really been at the forefront of pop culture

858
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:09,479
Speaker 1: except for in the moments where it takes over. And

859
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 1: and to me, music is very cyclical, like it's you know,

860
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:14,800
Speaker 1: if you look at the history of music over time,

861
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 1: like starting with say, starting with like the fifties, the fifties,

862
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 1: it was very single bass, very pop um, and you know,

863
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 1: then the sixties and seventies came in where there was

864
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,759
Speaker 1: this kind of renaissance of artists and musicians that overtook

865
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 1: the formula that was um did the uh the industry,

866
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: and you know, it overtook the industry this pure expression

867
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 1: where it was just undeniably great, and rock and roll

868
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 1: had this you know, renaissance and resurgence. And then the

869
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 1: eighties came in and I think everyone tried to kind

870
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: of emulate something and everything started to kind of lean

871
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 1: a little bit more towards the pop vein of um.

872
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 1: You know, there's a bit of a lack of depth

873
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 1: in my opinion. And then the nineties came and there

874
00:44:57,280 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 1: was your next resurgence with grunge and Nirvana and song

875
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 1: ern and prol Jam and where and everyone Else and

876
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:05,279
Speaker 1: chains YadA YadA, where it just it over. It was

877
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 1: so raw and so honest and so just the purest

878
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 1: form of expression that it was undeniably great and it

879
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: moved everybody. And that's the kind of music that I

880
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: strive to make. And I think that that's the kind

881
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 1: of music that every artist strive to make, necessarily in

882
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: that genre, but music that is so passionate that it

883
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 1: touches people whether you want it to or not. And

884
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 1: I think that that, you know, and then after the nineties,

885
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 1: it's hard to find musicians like that, in bands that

886
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 1: are that great. You know, there they're anomalies. And that's

887
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,720
Speaker 1: why it's an unn you know, from an industry standpoint,

888
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 1: you can't manufacture that. You can't constantly make that. And

889
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 1: I think that's why pop always ends up coming and

890
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 1: rising to the surface again. And so I think right

891
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 1: now we're just in the process of waiting for the

892
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 1: next rock and roll resurgence where it comes back because

893
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: it can't die. It's too primal. That's what rock and

894
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 1: roll is to me. It's it's it's so primal, it's

895
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: the ultimate freedom. And when when you hit the nail

896
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 1: on the head. It's it's undeniable, and I think that

897
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:08,959
Speaker 1: we're just waiting for that next moment, and I hope that,

898
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,920
Speaker 1: you know, we could be a part of that that resurgence.

899
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 1: And it's never it's never gonna look like what you

900
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 1: think it's gonna look like either, um, and so you know,

901
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 1: always keeping my eyes peeled, I guess, Okay, Pretty Reckless

902
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: has been on four different labels. How come? Um, Well,

903
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 1: it's ah, every album we've been on a different record label. UM.

904
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 1: Partially partially because I'm very I like to maintain creative control, UM.

905
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 1: And so I don't like having people in my ear,

906
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 1: especially from an industry side of things, telling me what

907
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: I can and can't say, or can't you can't write,

908
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: or I don't like having and only having people in

909
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 1: the studio. I don't like A and R, I don't

910
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:54,359
Speaker 1: like I don't like people telling me what to make

911
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 1: and so I I found that for me it works

912
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 1: best to kind of create, create what I want to make,

913
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:03,879
Speaker 1: make the album, and create this finished product and then

914
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 1: pass it around to the people and let them listen

915
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:10,080
Speaker 1: and and then find the best partner for that record

916
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:13,359
Speaker 1: and see who's the most enthused, and who's the who

917
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 1: makes the most sense, Who's who's really behind it and

918
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 1: gets what I'm trying to say and what we're trying

919
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 1: to go, what we're going for, and and who can

920
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,439
Speaker 1: help put that out into the world in the best

921
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 1: way possible. So that's what That's kind of what's happened

922
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,440
Speaker 1: with every album is I've licensed the records, I make them,

923
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 1: and then I licensed them to who. Okay, but usually

924
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 1: they want a longer commitment to go into business with you.

925
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:39,800
Speaker 1: So ay, when you were with Interscope, a traditional major label,

926
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 1: did they want you to do things? Did they want

927
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:44,799
Speaker 1: to get it involved creatively or marking and the way

928
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 1: you didn't like it? And did you have to negotiate

929
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,560
Speaker 1: a split or did they only have one record or

930
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 1: did they say we're done? Um? Interscope was well, they

931
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:58,360
Speaker 1: certainly they certainly wanted to push me into more of

932
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 1: a pop vein which I fully understand um, and I

933
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 1: was very resistant against that and very definitive in in

934
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:12,359
Speaker 1: the music that I was making and was not going

935
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:17,839
Speaker 1: to bend uh. And so that relationship kind of kind

936
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 1: of just we hit a point where it just we

937
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 1: were both going in different directions and it just wasn't working.

938
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 1: And I also, I thankfully have had very good management,

939
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 1: so who helped me kind of get out of that

940
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 1: out of that deal. Um. But it's basically what I've

941
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 1: done is I've I've tried to create a very good

942
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 1: team of people around me that are in my core

943
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 1: unit that I've selected myself over the course of um

944
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 1: a decade or so, and that's who I trust with,

945
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,720
Speaker 1: and that's you know, that's where the the grand plan

946
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 1: you know, I wish there was one, but the grand

947
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 1: plans formulated and then the labels become this kind of um,

948
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:59,880
Speaker 1: you know, addition that we add to the team on

949
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 1: each album based on where we're at as a unit. Okay,

950
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:06,919
Speaker 1: so they got a Razor and Tie. Razor and Tie

951
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:10,160
Speaker 1: is basically known at the time. It's now part of Concorde,

952
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 1: but it was independent then, primarily known for kids bop

953
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:17,800
Speaker 1: catalog releases. They didn't have a ton of success with

954
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 1: their new music label. What was it like being on

955
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 1: Razor and Tie as opposed to Interscope. It was, that's

956
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 1: a good question. It was very in one way very

957
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:32,400
Speaker 1: similar and one way very different. Um. You know, I

958
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:37,399
Speaker 1: think the first thing is that we we made. They

959
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:39,360
Speaker 1: knew what they were getting. Razor Time knew what they

960
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 1: were getting with us. They knew, you know, they had

961
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:45,240
Speaker 1: heard the album. They knew what they what the product product.

962
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:46,840
Speaker 1: I hate being called the product, but it is. It

963
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,279
Speaker 1: is at the end of the day, they knew what

964
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 1: the product was. They knew what they were trying to sell.

965
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,799
Speaker 1: And so you know when we met with them, UM

966
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,320
Speaker 1: and Cliff the president at the time, he was just

967
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 1: he was very he was a music lover. He seemed

968
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 1: to very he seemed to stand the record UM on

969
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:05,799
Speaker 1: a on a very deep level, which I appreciated. UM

970
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:09,800
Speaker 1: and it and they had a it just it I

971
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 1: don't know, you know how you know how industry is.

972
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 1: It just kind of all clicked and it made sense.

973
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 1: It made sense at the time. And uh and I

974
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 1: think we did. You know, they did a great job

975
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:20,239
Speaker 1: with it. Like we had our first number one on

976
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 1: that record. So it was, you know, we weren't under

977
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:26,160
Speaker 1: the major label umbrella, but I had all the freedom

978
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 1: in the world to to to do and be who

979
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 1: and how I wanted to be. And and that's that's

980
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,799
Speaker 1: what I'm going for, is is you know, I've I've

981
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 1: played the character. I've done the game, and I just

982
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 1: want to I want the music and the art to

983
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 1: speak for itself and I want that to which I

984
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 1: know is sometimes an unrealistic goal, but I want that

985
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: to be at the forefront and I want and I

986
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 1: want it to be my way or not do it

987
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:54,560
Speaker 1: at all, because I just don't see the point if

988
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:56,799
Speaker 1: it's not my way. And so that's kind of where

989
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:00,280
Speaker 1: the licensing of albums seemed to make the most answer

990
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:03,520
Speaker 1: for me and has until this point and still does so,

991
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:06,440
Speaker 1: where I just I really don't have to give anything away.

992
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 1: I can. I can maintain all the artistic control, and

993
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: that's the most important thing to me. Okay, I must say,

994
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: as you talk, you give the impression that everything's hunky dory,

995
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:21,879
Speaker 1: everything's great, the label's great, got out of your TV deal,

996
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 1: you've got a good management, whatever. But those of us

997
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,880
Speaker 1: on the inside, no, it's never that way. There's a

998
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 1: lot of frustration, a lot of angst. So can you

999
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:35,960
Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about that. Even the most

1000
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 1: successful acts. Oh, I mean there's tons of there's tons

1001
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 1: of frustration and challenges and angst and everything that comes

1002
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:45,359
Speaker 1: up all the time. But you know, honestly, right now,

1003
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: I'm there's not really too many issues, which I haven't

1004
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 1: been able to say for a long time because there's

1005
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: been a lot of personal issues and everything is kind

1006
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 1: of hunky dorry for lack of a better term, right now,

1007
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 1: and it and it feels good to be in that place.

1008
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:01,479
Speaker 1: I mean, if I was going to go down memory lane,

1009
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: which I could do, but I would honestly have to

1010
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:05,680
Speaker 1: get the band and help in here just to remember

1011
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:09,000
Speaker 1: everything because it's you know, it moves quickly, and there's

1012
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 1: a there's a lot of a lot of stuff has

1013
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:14,800
Speaker 1: happened that to even remember all the little details. But

1014
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 1: but no, I mean getting off the television show that

1015
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 1: was not easy. That was extremely hard. That was tons

1016
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 1: of fighting and arguing and back and forth and uh,

1017
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 1: you know, and it eventually ended in a place that

1018
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 1: that was pleasing to both parties. Um, it's you know,

1019
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:31,279
Speaker 1: same thing with Endoscope get you know, getting out of

1020
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:35,280
Speaker 1: a deal that didn't fit what I you know, didn't

1021
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:38,360
Speaker 1: fit the picture of what I wanted my career to

1022
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:41,840
Speaker 1: look like was super challenging. You know. So there's a

1023
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:44,200
Speaker 1: lot there's been lots of challenges and lots of fighting

1024
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 1: throughout the years, but at the end of the day,

1025
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 1: I you gotta let all that go because if it's

1026
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 1: not currently happening, then what's the point of hanging onto it.

1027
00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 1: Like life's too hard as it is, you gotta move.

1028
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:57,320
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit of a hippie in that way, like,

1029
00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:06,320
Speaker 1: move on, next thing. Okay, So today it is you know,

1030
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:10,239
Speaker 1: you're at the center, You're in the universe. You get

1031
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 1: to pray, depressed taking anti depressants? Are you always upbeat too?

1032
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 1: Your active? You know, what's your inner life like? Um?

1033
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:24,040
Speaker 1: I certainly struggle with ups and downs. Um. I think

1034
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 1: that I always have and and I went through a

1035
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 1: very bad bout with depression over the past few years

1036
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:33,359
Speaker 1: while making this album. Um, we lost many people close

1037
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 1: to us, and that took me down a very dark

1038
00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 1: path of depression and substance abuse and and everything that

1039
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:44,240
Speaker 1: comes along with loss. Um that I wasn't equipped to handle.

1040
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,439
Speaker 1: And it's, you know, to make a long story short,

1041
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:49,520
Speaker 1: that's that's where Death by Rock and Roll came from.

1042
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 1: It was it was me pretty much at my lowest

1043
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 1: and using trying to use music to to pull myself

1044
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:58,120
Speaker 1: out of this hole that I didn't know how to

1045
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:02,319
Speaker 1: get out of and it. And now I'm at now

1046
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:04,800
Speaker 1: you know, I've made that record, I've I've grown a

1047
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 1: lot in the past few years, and now I'm just

1048
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 1: trying to get back to life. I guess if that

1049
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 1: makes sense. I mean, we you know, I spent so

1050
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: long in isolation and then COVID obviously you know everyone did,

1051
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 1: but that just extended this the sentence that I had

1052
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 1: put on myself another two years. And so now I'm

1053
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:23,840
Speaker 1: just trying to kind of get back into the world

1054
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:26,719
Speaker 1: again and see how that feels and try you know,

1055
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:30,479
Speaker 1: try those try those shoes on, because it's been a minute,

1056
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,120
Speaker 1: and you know, get back out there and tour and

1057
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:36,400
Speaker 1: play and and see the fans and um, and just

1058
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 1: try to live. I guess a little bit um and that,

1059
00:54:40,600 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 1: you know when I still struggle with ups and downs

1060
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,800
Speaker 1: and and of course like everyone does, and um, you know,

1061
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 1: some are more severe than others. And I don't really

1062
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:49,680
Speaker 1: have a good answer to get out of it. Uh,

1063
00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 1: I wish I did. I tend to always turn to music,

1064
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 1: as cliche as it sounds, That's that's where my head goes,

1065
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 1: because it's it's somewhere that I can escape and somewhere

1066
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 1: that I can also feel secure, and um, you know,

1067
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 1: it's it's kind of like a I don't know, there's

1068
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:08,800
Speaker 1: there's music for every emotion and and and you know

1069
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,800
Speaker 1: when you scroll through when I scroll through my records,

1070
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 1: I can always find a song for what I for

1071
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 1: what I need. And and that's kind of what I

1072
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 1: try to turn to because turning the drugs and alcohol

1073
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 1: just that wasn't working for me anymore. That was going

1074
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,960
Speaker 1: to kill me. So you know, so now that's that's

1075
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,040
Speaker 1: what my life looks like. I'm just trying to stay

1076
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 1: on the positive side of things and and get out

1077
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:32,839
Speaker 1: there and um live. So what a couple of year

1078
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:37,360
Speaker 1: go to records coaching records? Well, every Beatles record is

1079
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 1: a mainstay. Wait, wait, what's your favorite Beatles album? I

1080
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 1: can't pick one. I know that's because you can't pick one.

1081
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:50,799
Speaker 1: It's the whole. You know, I have one now, it's

1082
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,200
Speaker 1: changed from what it was earlier, So give me your

1083
00:55:53,320 --> 00:56:01,879
Speaker 1: general sensibility. Um, it's it's always different. I mean, okay,

1084
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 1: well right now I'm listening to the anthology a lot,

1085
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 1: just because it has all of the all of the

1086
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 1: different demos and all the versions of songs, which I

1087
00:56:08,719 --> 00:56:11,359
Speaker 1: think is very cool to listen to and explore. Um.

1088
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 1: I also have been why I still haven't finished it.

1089
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 1: I think it's it's amazing. I haven't finished Get Back yet,

1090
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,800
Speaker 1: which I is the I think the greatest thing to

1091
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 1: happen to cinema and ever. Um, I'm so fascinated by it.

1092
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:27,440
Speaker 1: I'm so in love with it. But it's taking me

1093
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:29,320
Speaker 1: forever to get through because I have to pose it

1094
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:31,759
Speaker 1: every two seconds and rewind it and just make sure

1095
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 1: I soaked in every little moment of it. Okay, let's stop.

1096
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:39,000
Speaker 1: Where are you? I'm still I'm still about halfway through

1097
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:41,799
Speaker 1: the first one, and it's taken me about how when

1098
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:45,120
Speaker 1: did it come out? Three months? Are watching the first one?

1099
00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:48,120
Speaker 1: All I can say is I find the three episodes

1100
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 1: quite different. They that's what I've heard. But I'm again,

1101
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:53,880
Speaker 1: I'm only on the first one. But I'm waiting for

1102
00:56:54,880 --> 00:57:00,359
Speaker 1: what did you take from what you actually saw? First

1103
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:02,800
Speaker 1: of all, just how genius it is, but but I

1104
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:05,759
Speaker 1: already knew that, but also just getting to see kind

1105
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 1: of the full extensions. It's like the unedited version of

1106
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:11,239
Speaker 1: everything I've been watching my whole life, you know, to

1107
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,880
Speaker 1: see this footage that's existed and I've never seen before

1108
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 1: is mind blowing. But I think that I'm taking a

1109
00:57:17,920 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 1: lot of things from it. I think one, it's it's

1110
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,600
Speaker 1: amazing to see the similarities. I mean, not that I'm

1111
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: ever trying to compare myself to the greatness of the Beatles,

1112
00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 1: but to see the similarities of of what it's like

1113
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:29,920
Speaker 1: to be in a band and to to be a

1114
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:34,080
Speaker 1: writer and to be, you know, in working with three

1115
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 1: other people and and have that kind of camaraderie, and

1116
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:39,160
Speaker 1: that the arguments and the banter and the just the

1117
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:43,160
Speaker 1: their overall kind of demeanor is very similar to us

1118
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:46,680
Speaker 1: in a lot of ways. Um, which is very cool

1119
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 1: to see that. You know, artists such as you know,

1120
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:52,480
Speaker 1: the greats like the Beatles are at the end of

1121
00:57:52,600 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 1: the day, you know, they're human too, and and there's

1122
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 1: and so I'm I'm just fascinated by it. Aspect you're

1123
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 1: being is in a room or studio, what do you

1124
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:05,720
Speaker 1: argue over? Oh my god, the like everything. I mean,

1125
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:08,760
Speaker 1: there was one fight that I'll never forget where it was.

1126
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:10,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I thought it was going to come to

1127
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 1: blows and it was just over how loud the high

1128
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:15,720
Speaker 1: hat should be like it was. It was intense. It

1129
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:19,000
Speaker 1: was a good twenty minute screaming match back and forth

1130
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 1: between me, Ben and Kato and it it was and

1131
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:27,440
Speaker 1: we're not fighters, were not physical fighters, but it got close.

1132
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,240
Speaker 1: So that's just one example. It's we fight over the arc.

1133
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:32,160
Speaker 1: It's you know, it's a it's a let's go back

1134
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:34,680
Speaker 1: to the high hat. What did everybody? What did you want?

1135
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:37,400
Speaker 1: I don't even remember at this point on So this

1136
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 1: is the first record, Um, this was light me up.

1137
00:58:39,720 --> 00:58:41,920
Speaker 1: I don't remember what I actually what I wanted or

1138
00:58:41,960 --> 00:58:43,920
Speaker 1: what I don't remember if we might have all been

1139
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 1: even saying the same thing, but we just weren't listening

1140
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 1: to each other, Like I don't think any of us

1141
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 1: actually knew by the end of the argument, but we

1142
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 1: were so adamant about whatever it was. I knew it

1143
00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:56,160
Speaker 1: was a high hat, that it was just it got

1144
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,880
Speaker 1: very heated very quickly, and ever wanted to walk out

1145
00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 1: of the room and cool off and come back. And

1146
00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 1: then it was probably just like turn it down a

1147
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 1: quarter of a dB and we're all happy. It's probably

1148
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 1: something that careful. There's a theme of you wanting to

1149
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 1: do it your way, So are you the ultimate arbiter

1150
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 1: in the act. Yeah, well, if it's I mean, if

1151
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:18,360
Speaker 1: I would say Ben and I are Ben and I

1152
00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 1: because we write the songs, and so if they're if

1153
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:25,720
Speaker 1: they don't, you know, if the recording doesn't capture what

1154
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:29,720
Speaker 1: our intent was, or doesn't do the song justice to

1155
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:34,600
Speaker 1: its fullest potential or whatever it Uh, we're immensely unhappy.

1156
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:38,320
Speaker 1: And it's and it's like you're destroying our children. Um.

1157
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 1: So it's it's this very you know, it's this very

1158
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:44,800
Speaker 1: tumultuous thing where it's like if you like working with

1159
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:47,280
Speaker 1: different producer, we always worked with Kata. That's why it

1160
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 1: was is a very beatle like relationship where we worked

1161
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:52,920
Speaker 1: with the same person George Martin beatles us and Kato

1162
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 1: because we build upon that. We built upon that relationship

1163
00:59:55,840 --> 00:59:59,080
Speaker 1: and so um, you know, in a musical partnership where

1164
00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 1: it became symbiotic and so are our minds just kind

1165
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:08,640
Speaker 1: of intuitively worked together and we all had the same goal. Um.

1166
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 1: And so losing him and having him pass was a huge,

1167
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:15,439
Speaker 1: huge impact. I mean, not only was he my best friend,

1168
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,840
Speaker 1: but he was the fifth member of the band. He

1169
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 1: was this very integral part in the making of our records.

1170
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 1: And so losing that was extraordinarily difficult, and trying to

1171
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:29,480
Speaker 1: replace that it was nearly impossible. And so um, and

1172
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:32,560
Speaker 1: where was I going with us? Sorry um and so

1173
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:35,640
Speaker 1: too to find that again. I don't know that we'll

1174
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:37,680
Speaker 1: ever find that again. And so that's what that's what

1175
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:40,440
Speaker 1: made this album Death by Rock and Roll very different

1176
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:42,480
Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, is that it was us

1177
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:46,440
Speaker 1: kind of figuring out how to us figuring out how

1178
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:49,520
Speaker 1: to make records without Kato, which seemed like an impossible

1179
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 1: task I think when we started, um and luckily we

1180
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 1: we we knew one other guy named Jonathan Wyman who

1181
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 1: was an old, dear friend of ours who's just a

1182
01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 1: great engineer, and so we called him up. And that's

1183
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: how we didn't made this together where we actually been

1184
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:07,600
Speaker 1: and I actually co produced it because we were so

1185
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:11,920
Speaker 1: involved within controlling about these songs that were so precious

1186
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:16,200
Speaker 1: and so dear that there was no um, there's no

1187
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:18,960
Speaker 1: other way around it. So I don't remember where I

1188
01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:20,560
Speaker 1: started with this. I had if I had a full

1189
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:27,200
Speaker 1: circle moment, but I forgot what your question was. And

1190
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:30,960
Speaker 1: so yes, So my point, my point being, so we're

1191
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:33,200
Speaker 1: very involved in the recording and all of it where

1192
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 1: there is no So the buck stops with with me

1193
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 1: and Benet. It has to it has to reach a

1194
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:42,680
Speaker 1: certain level and hit a certain point in place where

1195
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:45,240
Speaker 1: we can both go, that's great the way it is,

1196
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:49,040
Speaker 1: and don't don't mess with that anymore. And so yes,

1197
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,120
Speaker 1: the buck stops with the buck stops with the two

1198
01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:52,840
Speaker 1: of us. And I think that we're always on the

1199
01:01:52,880 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 1: same page that we've never really gotten in an argument

1200
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:57,320
Speaker 1: about what about all the other stuff? When to go

1201
01:01:57,440 --> 01:01:59,960
Speaker 1: on tour with the artwork is and all that stuff,

1202
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 1: there's you know, well that's where the team that I've

1203
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:08,280
Speaker 1: put in place comes in to play. Um like that, Okay,

1204
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:10,640
Speaker 1: it's I know the friend who's the manager will not

1205
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:15,360
Speaker 1: manage X, will only me A not manage bands because

1206
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 1: there's so many issues between the band. No, no, no,

1207
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:20,560
Speaker 1: we don't have that. I know what you're saying, that

1208
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:24,080
Speaker 1: we don't have that kind of um dynamic in our band.

1209
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:29,000
Speaker 1: It's because when you sign a record deal, are all

1210
01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:32,440
Speaker 1: four band members on that deal are just you? No,

1211
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:37,960
Speaker 1: it's just me, it's just you? Wait? Is it just me? Honestly,

1212
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:43,439
Speaker 1: I don't even know and I should know that. Um, well,

1213
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:47,160
Speaker 1: I'm the soul it's it's it's split because it's not me,

1214
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 1: it's not signed under Taylor Momson. So it's it's I

1215
01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 1: am the owner of the Pretty Reckless. So the license

1216
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:57,120
Speaker 1: the title that you know at the copyright, I own that.

1217
01:02:57,320 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 1: So that's you're signing the pretty Reckless, but I am

1218
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:03,160
Speaker 1: the sole proprietor of the Pretty Reckless. Of that Okay.

1219
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 1: So there's an advance or there are hypothetically royalties which

1220
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:15,840
Speaker 1: never seemed to show up. Everybody get uh, we don't

1221
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 1: split it like that, but everyone does get equal shares

1222
01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:21,480
Speaker 1: at the end. But it's not But like with an

1223
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:23,960
Speaker 1: advance or whatever, especially with license in the albums, it's

1224
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 1: not that's it's not that cut and drive like here's Europe,

1225
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:28,480
Speaker 1: because it's not a three sixty major label deal, like

1226
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:30,200
Speaker 1: here's your money and we'll take care of everything. The

1227
01:03:30,280 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 1: advance goes to making the art and goes back into

1228
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 1: the business. So it's the deals like that go into funding.

1229
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:43,360
Speaker 1: But let's just assume you're in business and after ten

1230
01:03:43,480 --> 01:03:45,400
Speaker 1: years you have to be making some money otherwise you

1231
01:03:45,440 --> 01:03:48,440
Speaker 1: would stop, so you wouldn't be able to afford going

1232
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:50,520
Speaker 1: on the road. So at the end of the day,

1233
01:03:50,600 --> 01:03:53,400
Speaker 1: if there's a hundred dollars, do you get fifty and

1234
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:56,680
Speaker 1: the other three with the other forget publishing, totally different things.

1235
01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 1: But on these men for the band, okay, do you

1236
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 1: split or is it split differently? It's a case by

1237
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:13,080
Speaker 1: case basis. It's not. It's not across the board blanketed

1238
01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:17,240
Speaker 1: set a deal like that. It's it depends on the

1239
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,640
Speaker 1: situation and where where the money is coming from and

1240
01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:22,440
Speaker 1: what it's for and where it's going, and like it's

1241
01:04:22,520 --> 01:04:26,760
Speaker 1: it's not. It's not as a standard deal. Like you

1242
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:31,280
Speaker 1: go on the road, you perform, forget sponsorship for you know,

1243
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:34,840
Speaker 1: just you're performing and it's merch. How is that split up?

1244
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:39,600
Speaker 1: It's it's not split by percentages like that. It's it's

1245
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:42,840
Speaker 1: it goes into the business and then whatever is left

1246
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 1: over is split. But if they get paid, they get

1247
01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:48,600
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know this well enough to really

1248
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 1: discuss it properly. But they don't they get paid, and

1249
01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:56,640
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. It's one final question.

1250
01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:59,920
Speaker 1: But do they get paid a salary? Did you get

1251
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:04,560
Speaker 1: eight a salary? But it's but it's a consistent Yes,

1252
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,960
Speaker 1: they get paid a salary, yes, but but it's it's

1253
01:05:08,120 --> 01:05:15,520
Speaker 1: constantly changing based on the incomes of the organization. Okay,

1254
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:17,800
Speaker 1: so other than the Beatles, what are a couple of

1255
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:23,040
Speaker 1: your other go to factor something easier? Uh? Well, sound

1256
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:24,800
Speaker 1: Garden is my other go to band, like my two

1257
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:27,040
Speaker 1: favorite bands on the planet of the Beatles and Sound Guarden.

1258
01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 1: So sound Garden is. But you were on the road.

1259
01:05:31,400 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 1: You were on the road with sound Garden. Yeah, when

1260
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:38,360
Speaker 1: Chris Cornell committed suicide, What the hell was how'd you

1261
01:05:38,440 --> 01:05:42,240
Speaker 1: find out? It's well, that was the start of my demise.

1262
01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:45,520
Speaker 1: I guess um or my very downward spiral was the

1263
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:47,880
Speaker 1: passing of him, because that was to be on tour

1264
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:49,920
Speaker 1: with Sound Garden. When we got that phone call that

1265
01:05:50,040 --> 01:05:53,240
Speaker 1: we were going to open for them, my mind was blown,

1266
01:05:53,320 --> 01:05:56,040
Speaker 1: like I couldn't even I couldn't process. I was so

1267
01:05:56,440 --> 01:06:01,000
Speaker 1: happy I was. That was the pinnacle moment of my

1268
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 1: career that I could not believe we were opening for

1269
01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:06,120
Speaker 1: Sound Garden. Um, I felt like I was in a

1270
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:08,600
Speaker 1: dream and and getting to play those shows with them

1271
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:10,600
Speaker 1: and be on the road with them and getting to

1272
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:13,080
Speaker 1: know them personally. It was just the whole experience was

1273
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:18,560
Speaker 1: absolutely amazing and super surreal. And we played that last

1274
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:20,680
Speaker 1: show with them in Detroit, and the next morning I

1275
01:06:20,760 --> 01:06:23,000
Speaker 1: woke up to the news and it just it was

1276
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:27,760
Speaker 1: so shocking and so devastating. I couldn't wrap my mind

1277
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:31,200
Speaker 1: around it. It crushed me in a way that I

1278
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:37,640
Speaker 1: was not expecting or prepared for or could even understand. Um.

1279
01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:40,040
Speaker 1: And we were still you know, we were still in

1280
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:42,080
Speaker 1: the middle of tour at that at that time, and

1281
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:44,920
Speaker 1: I we played a few shows after that, but I

1282
01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:48,240
Speaker 1: quickly came to the realization and the and the point

1283
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:51,800
Speaker 1: where I was like, I'm not in a good headspace

1284
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:53,880
Speaker 1: to be on tour. I can't do this. I can't

1285
01:06:53,880 --> 01:06:57,560
Speaker 1: get on stage in fain excitement and happiness every night,

1286
01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:59,480
Speaker 1: Like this is just it's unfair to the fans, it's

1287
01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:02,000
Speaker 1: unfair to me. Like I need I need a break.

1288
01:07:02,040 --> 01:07:05,080
Speaker 1: I need some time to go home and grieve and

1289
01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:09,280
Speaker 1: be a person. Um and and and and I did.

1290
01:07:09,360 --> 01:07:11,760
Speaker 1: I canceled everything. I went home, and as soon as

1291
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:14,040
Speaker 1: I started to kind of get my feedback on the

1292
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:19,680
Speaker 1: ground and process the passing of Chris Um, I turned

1293
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 1: to music. I started writing. And that's because that's what

1294
01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:24,080
Speaker 1: I always do. It's this is where my mind goes.

1295
01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:26,840
Speaker 1: And I was calling Kato or producer going, I've got

1296
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,360
Speaker 1: some songs we gotta get in the studio because it

1297
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:32,280
Speaker 1: hit all of us extraordinarily hard. I mean, one of

1298
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:35,800
Speaker 1: the reasons this band formed and why it's you know,

1299
01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:39,479
Speaker 1: has the members that it does is was our deep

1300
01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:42,880
Speaker 1: passionate love of sound garden Um. It was one of

1301
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:45,000
Speaker 1: the things that we connected on right away. Did you

1302
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:49,360
Speaker 1: play black hole soun on rock band? I didn't play

1303
01:07:49,480 --> 01:07:53,480
Speaker 1: rock bands, but I wasn't. No, I never played any

1304
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:55,800
Speaker 1: of that. I played guitar. Was it was black hole

1305
01:07:55,800 --> 01:07:57,760
Speaker 1: son on on guitar? Hero or rock band? Was one

1306
01:07:57,760 --> 01:08:04,440
Speaker 1: of the famous songs from rock You're processing. Yes, I've

1307
01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:07,920
Speaker 1: written some songs and like we all of us were

1308
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:10,960
Speaker 1: in this kind of depression and this funk from from

1309
01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:14,200
Speaker 1: Christ's passing, and when we got to get out of this,

1310
01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:17,000
Speaker 1: let's get in the studio, let's record. I don't know

1311
01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:19,080
Speaker 1: what these songs are for, but I've got some stuff

1312
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:21,880
Speaker 1: like let's just move forward. We've got to try to

1313
01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:24,240
Speaker 1: get out of this. And as soon as we were

1314
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:26,160
Speaker 1: starting to put those plans in motion, I got the

1315
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:28,639
Speaker 1: phone called that Kato had died in a motorcycle accident

1316
01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:32,800
Speaker 1: and that that was the just that was the nail

1317
01:08:32,840 --> 01:08:35,400
Speaker 1: in the coffin for me, that was that was the

1318
01:08:35,560 --> 01:08:38,400
Speaker 1: beginning of what I was sure was going to be

1319
01:08:38,479 --> 01:08:41,599
Speaker 1: the end. Like where I just I sunk so fast

1320
01:08:42,439 --> 01:08:46,439
Speaker 1: into this whole of depression and substance abuse and just

1321
01:08:48,040 --> 01:08:52,479
Speaker 1: this place of utter darkness and sadness that I couldn't

1322
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:54,920
Speaker 1: get out of and I didn't see a way out of.

1323
01:08:55,080 --> 01:08:57,920
Speaker 1: And I just and I think the biggest problem was

1324
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:01,280
Speaker 1: that I didn't care, Like I was very content being

1325
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:07,080
Speaker 1: living there and and essentially fading into nothing, and and

1326
01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:10,599
Speaker 1: I just I saw that as that's where my life

1327
01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:12,560
Speaker 1: was going to go, and that's where I live, and

1328
01:09:12,640 --> 01:09:15,519
Speaker 1: that's where I die. And that was that. And it

1329
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:20,400
Speaker 1: took you know years UM's, you know, writing this album

1330
01:09:20,479 --> 01:09:22,640
Speaker 1: and stuff of me trying to pull myself out of

1331
01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:26,799
Speaker 1: that hole. Because and that's why I say music saved

1332
01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:30,519
Speaker 1: my life and saves my life continually, is because I

1333
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:34,320
Speaker 1: hit that point where I it was so lonely and

1334
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:37,720
Speaker 1: so low that I needed music. I needed something. And

1335
01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:40,880
Speaker 1: you know, the drugs and the alcohol it wasn't filling.

1336
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:45,280
Speaker 1: It wasn't even numbing that that whole anymore, wasn't numbing

1337
01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:49,280
Speaker 1: that pain. It was just exacerbating it and it and

1338
01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:52,080
Speaker 1: it didn't. I wasn't doing what I needed and it

1339
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:55,200
Speaker 1: wasn't doing what I needed it too, um And so

1340
01:09:55,360 --> 01:09:57,720
Speaker 1: I turned to music and it and it was this

1341
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,760
Speaker 1: essentially just really learned everything. I tried to kind of

1342
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:06,320
Speaker 1: ask myself, like, what, like everything I love is dead,

1343
01:10:06,560 --> 01:10:10,880
Speaker 1: what's the point? And there had to have been a

1344
01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:12,720
Speaker 1: point to all of this. There had to have been,

1345
01:10:12,800 --> 01:10:16,080
Speaker 1: and that the point was always music. So I started

1346
01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:19,280
Speaker 1: I tried to I essentially regressed into being a child

1347
01:10:19,439 --> 01:10:21,200
Speaker 1: where I just I listened to the albums that I

1348
01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:23,800
Speaker 1: grew up loving and and tried to find my love

1349
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:28,920
Speaker 1: of something. And from an innocent and organic perspective, I

1350
01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:30,800
Speaker 1: guess of of like you do when you're a child,

1351
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:32,840
Speaker 1: when you just you don't even know why you love something,

1352
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:35,160
Speaker 1: you just do. And that's what I did with music.

1353
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:39,080
Speaker 1: I started to kind of listen to the starting with

1354
01:10:39,160 --> 01:10:43,000
Speaker 1: the Beatles records and just going through, um, all the

1355
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:46,320
Speaker 1: albums I grew up loving and love to this day,

1356
01:10:46,360 --> 01:10:48,639
Speaker 1: and eventually getting to a place where I could listen

1357
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:52,480
Speaker 1: to Sound Garden and have it bring me some happiness

1358
01:10:52,600 --> 01:10:56,200
Speaker 1: and not just immense pain and sadness and that was

1359
01:10:56,280 --> 01:10:58,000
Speaker 1: kind of a that was a turning point for me

1360
01:10:58,080 --> 01:11:00,760
Speaker 1: where I could listen to those records and and there

1361
01:11:00,880 --> 01:11:04,439
Speaker 1: was a spark there um and I started to feel

1362
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:06,800
Speaker 1: like I used to a little bit, just a little

1363
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:11,639
Speaker 1: bit moments, glimmering moments, and that that, you know, led

1364
01:11:11,680 --> 01:11:15,280
Speaker 1: to me picking up a guitar and and playing music.

1365
01:11:15,479 --> 01:11:18,120
Speaker 1: And because I was also all by myself, I didn't

1366
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:20,200
Speaker 1: didn't have anything to do, and that's so I was.

1367
01:11:20,760 --> 01:11:22,600
Speaker 1: This was a long period of time, so I just

1368
01:11:22,720 --> 01:11:26,080
Speaker 1: I turned to music and playing guitar and singing songs

1369
01:11:26,520 --> 01:11:28,640
Speaker 1: by myself in my bedroom like I did when I

1370
01:11:28,760 --> 01:11:32,559
Speaker 1: was a kid. Brought back, you know, all those feelings

1371
01:11:32,600 --> 01:11:35,880
Speaker 1: that I felt when I was a child of writing music.

1372
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:39,840
Speaker 1: And that's then then this album turned into this very

1373
01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:46,360
Speaker 1: free flowing form of expression where I just just once

1374
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:50,400
Speaker 1: I kind of let myself, let my mind go there

1375
01:11:50,680 --> 01:11:55,559
Speaker 1: and and say out loud everything that I had been

1376
01:11:55,600 --> 01:12:00,240
Speaker 1: trying to shove down and repress. Um. The floodgates opened,

1377
01:12:00,280 --> 01:12:03,160
Speaker 1: and this album essentially just it kind of wrote itself.

1378
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:06,600
Speaker 1: It was just this very pure form of inspiration that

1379
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:09,680
Speaker 1: I said that it's it's it almost feels like the

1380
01:12:09,760 --> 01:12:11,800
Speaker 1: first album in that way where it's just this this

1381
01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:16,719
Speaker 1: uncontrollable source, Like you're always looking for the source of something,

1382
01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:19,360
Speaker 1: and in this case, it was like the universe of gone.

1383
01:12:19,439 --> 01:12:21,879
Speaker 1: You wanted something to write about, Taylor, here I smacked

1384
01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:23,160
Speaker 1: you in the face with it. What are you gonna

1385
01:12:23,200 --> 01:12:27,200
Speaker 1: do with it? And by that's how this album was

1386
01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:30,400
Speaker 1: was made and written and and by doing that and

1387
01:12:30,479 --> 01:12:34,000
Speaker 1: by letting it all out through songs and in songs,

1388
01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:38,320
Speaker 1: it it started to heal me and you know, heal

1389
01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:41,760
Speaker 1: my soul in a way that I desperately needed. And

1390
01:12:41,880 --> 01:12:43,560
Speaker 1: it was not overnight like when you know, you know,

1391
01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:46,320
Speaker 1: when I sum it up in this little, nice, nice

1392
01:12:46,360 --> 01:12:48,479
Speaker 1: little package, it sounds like it was easy. It was

1393
01:12:48,560 --> 01:12:51,920
Speaker 1: not easy. It was it took a very long time.

1394
01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:53,160
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, That's why I

1395
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:54,560
Speaker 1: say this album Death by Rock and Roll is a

1396
01:12:54,640 --> 01:12:57,720
Speaker 1: very hopeful record because it it kind of covers this

1397
01:12:58,640 --> 01:13:01,880
Speaker 1: spectrum of of everything that I was going through at

1398
01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:06,880
Speaker 1: the time and in this very real way, um and

1399
01:13:07,120 --> 01:13:10,120
Speaker 1: and it and there's no there was no hiding, there's

1400
01:13:10,160 --> 01:13:12,000
Speaker 1: no hiding from it. There was no I couldn't I

1401
01:13:12,080 --> 01:13:14,759
Speaker 1: couldn't fake it even if I wanted to. I passed

1402
01:13:14,840 --> 01:13:17,639
Speaker 1: that point where I was I was unable to fake

1403
01:13:18,320 --> 01:13:21,040
Speaker 1: living anymore, and so it just it. It came out

1404
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:23,599
Speaker 1: in the music and that's what eventually got me back

1405
01:13:23,680 --> 01:13:29,280
Speaker 1: to a place of uh being here. I don't I

1406
01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:31,439
Speaker 1: just got very heavy with that and I don't know

1407
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:34,519
Speaker 1: it entirely made sense. Yes it did. So what did

1408
01:13:34,560 --> 01:13:39,880
Speaker 1: it look like doing drinking and doing drugs? It looked

1409
01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:41,800
Speaker 1: like it looks like a train wreck. What do you

1410
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:43,320
Speaker 1: think it looked like? It was something there are people

1411
01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:46,160
Speaker 1: say doing drugs. I smoked a lot of dope. Other

1412
01:13:46,200 --> 01:13:49,200
Speaker 1: people said I was it was injecting heroin. I mean

1413
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:53,320
Speaker 1: there's different. So people who were drunk seven people will

1414
01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:58,080
Speaker 1: get wasted two times a week. Um. You know again,

1415
01:13:58,120 --> 01:13:59,960
Speaker 1: I think that that's something that I'm not quite read

1416
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:02,599
Speaker 1: you to share with the world. It I'll just leave

1417
01:14:02,640 --> 01:14:07,840
Speaker 1: it it. It was. It was bad. That was very bad. Um,

1418
01:14:08,479 --> 01:14:11,800
Speaker 1: and I did hit. Uh. There was a moment where

1419
01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:14,040
Speaker 1: it was I had to make a conscious decision of

1420
01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:17,200
Speaker 1: this is gonna kill me or so his death or

1421
01:14:17,240 --> 01:14:20,200
Speaker 1: moved forward? Um, And there was a there was a

1422
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:23,519
Speaker 1: defining moment of that. But that's that's something that I

1423
01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:27,000
Speaker 1: don't think I'm quite ready to talk about in depth, okay,

1424
01:14:27,120 --> 01:14:31,479
Speaker 1: But the defining moment was an internal or external. It

1425
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:38,000
Speaker 1: was external and it was a very physical decision. Okay.

1426
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:42,840
Speaker 1: And during this process, were you getting professional help? Mm hmm,

1427
01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:48,479
Speaker 1: not really. I mean I I had spoken to different therapists.

1428
01:14:48,520 --> 01:14:53,280
Speaker 1: I saw it help, um, but I hadn't found you know,

1429
01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:56,040
Speaker 1: I think therapy therapists it's such a challenge to find

1430
01:14:56,080 --> 01:14:59,519
Speaker 1: a therapist that works for you. And I was moving

1431
01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:03,960
Speaker 1: from the a therapist and never really found, um, the

1432
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:07,599
Speaker 1: right person for me. If so that that was kind

1433
01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:09,280
Speaker 1: of a dead end for me, and not not for

1434
01:15:09,439 --> 01:15:12,599
Speaker 1: lack of trying. I think at the end of the day,

1435
01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:16,240
Speaker 1: I knew that it was outside help was you know,

1436
01:15:16,320 --> 01:15:18,040
Speaker 1: there's only so much that I was hade. Help can do,

1437
01:15:18,240 --> 01:15:22,479
Speaker 1: and then support from friends and family can do. I

1438
01:15:22,680 --> 01:15:24,960
Speaker 1: had to want to change, I had to want to

1439
01:15:25,040 --> 01:15:29,160
Speaker 1: make that choice to move on with life and continue

1440
01:15:29,200 --> 01:15:33,160
Speaker 1: to live and and and that's a hard decision to make.

1441
01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:35,519
Speaker 1: But if it had to come from me, it wasn't

1442
01:15:35,520 --> 01:15:38,519
Speaker 1: going to come from anyone else. Um. And I think

1443
01:15:38,600 --> 01:15:40,880
Speaker 1: that you know, it's like with anything like trying to

1444
01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:45,080
Speaker 1: motivate to exercise, Like you can have a trainer and

1445
01:15:45,280 --> 01:15:47,000
Speaker 1: all your friends tell you to do it, but at

1446
01:15:47,040 --> 01:15:48,240
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you have to get up

1447
01:15:48,280 --> 01:15:50,599
Speaker 1: and do it. And I think that that's I had

1448
01:15:50,680 --> 01:15:54,080
Speaker 1: to reach a point that hit hit something that that

1449
01:15:54,240 --> 01:16:04,400
Speaker 1: scared me enough to change, and I did. Ye you're

1450
01:16:04,400 --> 01:16:09,200
Speaker 1: talking about this defining moment. Uh, once you hit the

1451
01:16:09,280 --> 01:16:12,840
Speaker 1: other side of it, was it totally of course you

1452
01:16:12,920 --> 01:16:14,559
Speaker 1: had to have of your head in the right place.

1453
01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:17,840
Speaker 1: But was there a third party who called you every

1454
01:16:17,920 --> 01:16:20,559
Speaker 1: day or came by every day to aid you till

1455
01:16:20,640 --> 01:16:23,280
Speaker 1: you finally got traction? Or was it something you did

1456
01:16:23,360 --> 01:16:29,400
Speaker 1: solely yourself? Um? No, I had help. The band helped

1457
01:16:29,439 --> 01:16:33,160
Speaker 1: a lot um. You know. They they were relentless and

1458
01:16:33,400 --> 01:16:36,720
Speaker 1: checking out on me. Um and you know, making sure

1459
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:42,479
Speaker 1: I was doing all right. Um not dead yet? Uh No,

1460
01:16:42,680 --> 01:16:44,600
Speaker 1: So I had, I had, I had help in in

1461
01:16:44,720 --> 01:16:47,200
Speaker 1: that sent in that regard where I had, I had

1462
01:16:47,360 --> 01:16:50,599
Speaker 1: very close people in my life that it cared about

1463
01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:53,320
Speaker 1: me um and that, you know, I'm very thankful for

1464
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:56,240
Speaker 1: and very lucky to have, because not everyone has that,

1465
01:16:56,479 --> 01:16:59,200
Speaker 1: UM And so you know, I think that's that's kind

1466
01:16:59,200 --> 01:17:04,000
Speaker 1: of supports us them certainly does not. It's not unappreciated

1467
01:17:04,360 --> 01:17:06,160
Speaker 1: by any means, and I think that it is an

1468
01:17:06,200 --> 01:17:08,000
Speaker 1: immense help. But like I said, at the end of

1469
01:17:08,000 --> 01:17:09,280
Speaker 1: the day, if you want to change, it has to

1470
01:17:09,360 --> 01:17:11,880
Speaker 1: come from within you, like people yelling at you or

1471
01:17:12,840 --> 01:17:16,400
Speaker 1: telling you to trying to motivate you or whatever. You know,

1472
01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:20,920
Speaker 1: however that might look, um isn't going to be the

1473
01:17:21,000 --> 01:17:22,240
Speaker 1: thing that does it. At the end of the day,

1474
01:17:22,240 --> 01:17:26,439
Speaker 1: it's just encouragement. Okay. There's a famous book by William Styrone.

1475
01:17:26,479 --> 01:17:30,479
Speaker 1: The author called Darkness Visible about his time being depressed

1476
01:17:30,520 --> 01:17:34,599
Speaker 1: and ultimately even going into an institution, and he said

1477
01:17:35,160 --> 01:17:38,120
Speaker 1: he couldn't listen to music he was so bad. And

1478
01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:40,800
Speaker 1: I've certainly been in that space. But when he could

1479
01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:43,000
Speaker 1: listen to music, then he knew he was on the

1480
01:17:43,200 --> 01:17:47,400
Speaker 1: road to recovery. Was there any time it that the

1481
01:17:47,479 --> 01:17:50,840
Speaker 1: music didn't work before it did? That's exactly what happened.

1482
01:17:50,840 --> 01:17:52,400
Speaker 1: And I'm not familiar with this book, but now I

1483
01:17:52,439 --> 01:17:54,840
Speaker 1: want to read it. It's an easy book to read.

1484
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:57,040
Speaker 1: You should definitely read. Yeah, no, I would love to.

1485
01:17:57,320 --> 01:17:59,800
Speaker 1: That's that's because that's verbatim what happened. When I was

1486
01:18:00,080 --> 01:18:05,519
Speaker 1: my lowest. There was no Everything brought sadness, especially music,

1487
01:18:05,560 --> 01:18:09,040
Speaker 1: because music with my whole life, and so anything I

1488
01:18:09,160 --> 01:18:11,400
Speaker 1: put on or listened to just brought back a painful

1489
01:18:11,439 --> 01:18:14,840
Speaker 1: memory or but I just hated it, or like it

1490
01:18:14,960 --> 01:18:17,759
Speaker 1: brought back so many had so many different emotions attached

1491
01:18:17,800 --> 01:18:21,160
Speaker 1: to it that none of which were good emotions. And

1492
01:18:21,320 --> 01:18:24,960
Speaker 1: and then and they would vary on a minutely basis. Um.

1493
01:18:25,360 --> 01:18:27,240
Speaker 1: But so I just I shut it out, like it

1494
01:18:27,439 --> 01:18:31,519
Speaker 1: was it brought back something that I couldn't deal with yet,

1495
01:18:31,560 --> 01:18:33,760
Speaker 1: and it just it was not pleasurable to me. And

1496
01:18:33,840 --> 01:18:37,920
Speaker 1: it was not creating comfort. It was creating pain and

1497
01:18:38,200 --> 01:18:41,679
Speaker 1: anger and anxiety and all you know, all the negative

1498
01:18:41,720 --> 01:18:44,680
Speaker 1: sides of the spectrum of the wheel of emotions and

1499
01:18:44,960 --> 01:18:47,360
Speaker 1: uh and so yeah, it was. There was a period

1500
01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:49,400
Speaker 1: where I couldn't listen to music at all, and I

1501
01:18:49,479 --> 01:18:51,840
Speaker 1: think that that was probably my darkest period because I

1502
01:18:51,880 --> 01:18:54,240
Speaker 1: had never gone in a day in my life without

1503
01:18:54,280 --> 01:18:59,200
Speaker 1: listening to music. It's just a part of my daily routine. Um.

1504
01:19:00,120 --> 01:19:03,000
Speaker 1: And I think that that's like you said when when

1505
01:19:03,040 --> 01:19:07,200
Speaker 1: you when I I hit a place where I found

1506
01:19:07,280 --> 01:19:10,479
Speaker 1: myself needing it. I needed music and I had been

1507
01:19:10,560 --> 01:19:13,719
Speaker 1: depriving myself of it almost unconsciously, though like I didn't

1508
01:19:13,760 --> 01:19:15,880
Speaker 1: It wasn't this conscious thing where I went, I'm not

1509
01:19:15,920 --> 01:19:17,680
Speaker 1: going to listen to music because it makes me feel bad.

1510
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:20,439
Speaker 1: It was just like I just didn't do it. It

1511
01:19:20,640 --> 01:19:22,679
Speaker 1: just hurt and I didn't do it. And I finally

1512
01:19:22,760 --> 01:19:25,599
Speaker 1: hit a point where I I felt like I needed

1513
01:19:25,720 --> 01:19:30,240
Speaker 1: music like I need water and oxygen and it and

1514
01:19:31,240 --> 01:19:35,200
Speaker 1: I don't know, then this primal un there was no

1515
01:19:35,360 --> 01:19:37,760
Speaker 1: thought process to any of this. That just it just was.

1516
01:19:37,920 --> 01:19:40,920
Speaker 1: And that's where that that's where I kind of I

1517
01:19:41,040 --> 01:19:42,960
Speaker 1: started from the beginning again and I went, Okay, well,

1518
01:19:43,000 --> 01:19:46,800
Speaker 1: let's start with something easy to digest. Let's start with

1519
01:19:46,840 --> 01:19:49,400
Speaker 1: the Beatles, you know. And that's where it. That's where

1520
01:19:49,439 --> 01:19:53,040
Speaker 1: that kind of transitioning and introducing music back into my

1521
01:19:53,200 --> 01:19:56,920
Speaker 1: life through in the order of how I fell in

1522
01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:59,479
Speaker 1: love with it as a child, became this kind of

1523
01:19:59,600 --> 01:20:02,320
Speaker 1: very theory compeutic process to me. And and the end

1524
01:20:02,360 --> 01:20:03,840
Speaker 1: of that looked like being able to listen to the

1525
01:20:03,880 --> 01:20:06,400
Speaker 1: Sound Garden. And by the time I hit that point,

1526
01:20:06,479 --> 01:20:09,160
Speaker 1: that allowed me to then get to the next stage,

1527
01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:12,439
Speaker 1: which was playing music and writing music. And so that

1528
01:20:12,720 --> 01:20:15,519
Speaker 1: was so I think I noticed it as as I

1529
01:20:15,680 --> 01:20:17,680
Speaker 1: was listening to albums again that it was starting to

1530
01:20:17,760 --> 01:20:21,040
Speaker 1: help me in a way, But I don't think I

1531
01:20:21,120 --> 01:20:24,679
Speaker 1: really noticed any of it until I until I completed

1532
01:20:24,720 --> 01:20:26,639
Speaker 1: the album and then took a step back and went, oh,

1533
01:20:27,160 --> 01:20:29,559
Speaker 1: ship that was. That was a lot over the past

1534
01:20:29,600 --> 01:20:32,519
Speaker 1: few years. I don't even know what just happened, um

1535
01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:35,600
Speaker 1: because you can't see it when you're in it. But

1536
01:20:35,760 --> 01:20:39,320
Speaker 1: generally speaking, or your glass half empty, glass half full person,

1537
01:20:40,920 --> 01:20:45,200
Speaker 1: mm hmmm, I think it depends on the month. I

1538
01:20:45,320 --> 01:20:51,640
Speaker 1: don't after having having this terrific experience. Okay in the

1539
01:20:51,760 --> 01:20:56,679
Speaker 1: bathroom mind, I think you said, well, it could happen again. Yeah,

1540
01:20:57,200 --> 01:20:58,880
Speaker 1: in the back of my mind spoke could happen again.

1541
01:20:58,920 --> 01:21:01,439
Speaker 1: But I think be because of all of that. I think,

1542
01:21:01,520 --> 01:21:04,880
Speaker 1: because everything I went through and all that darkness, I

1543
01:21:04,960 --> 01:21:08,760
Speaker 1: am now probably more on the glass glass half full

1544
01:21:08,840 --> 01:21:12,000
Speaker 1: side of things in the sense that I I look

1545
01:21:12,080 --> 01:21:15,679
Speaker 1: at everything with a sense of it's not that important.

1546
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:18,640
Speaker 1: Like you know, once the once death impacks you in

1547
01:21:18,720 --> 01:21:22,000
Speaker 1: a real way, it changes your perspective of everything else,

1548
01:21:22,400 --> 01:21:25,920
Speaker 1: and so anything goes wrong or anything that's bad now

1549
01:21:26,080 --> 01:21:28,639
Speaker 1: it's kind of like, well, it's not that bad. Um.

1550
01:21:29,080 --> 01:21:31,400
Speaker 1: So so if that's what my new motto is, just

1551
01:21:31,520 --> 01:21:34,200
Speaker 1: it's eway like is what it is? Man Like Oh,

1552
01:21:34,240 --> 01:21:36,400
Speaker 1: it's a bad show. That sucks. I'm pissed. I'm gonna

1553
01:21:36,439 --> 01:21:39,839
Speaker 1: fire everybody, you know whatever. But eway, there's another one tomorrow.

1554
01:21:40,200 --> 01:21:42,120
Speaker 1: Like it's that's how you have to That's how I

1555
01:21:42,240 --> 01:21:45,800
Speaker 1: kind of look at life now in in general and

1556
01:21:46,160 --> 01:21:49,840
Speaker 1: until something, you know, hopefully nothing that's serious will happen again,

1557
01:21:49,880 --> 01:21:52,840
Speaker 1: at least for not a lot time. But go back

1558
01:21:52,880 --> 01:21:56,439
Speaker 1: to Chris Cornell for a second. I unfortunately that friends

1559
01:21:56,479 --> 01:22:00,599
Speaker 1: have committed suicide, and I find the old only way

1560
01:22:00,720 --> 01:22:04,280
Speaker 1: to ultimately move far forward if you put it in

1561
01:22:04,360 --> 01:22:07,880
Speaker 1: a mental box, you come out with some reasoning of

1562
01:22:07,960 --> 01:22:10,360
Speaker 1: what you thought was going on there. So how did

1563
01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:12,560
Speaker 1: you do that with Chris? And what did that look like?

1564
01:22:14,600 --> 01:22:19,320
Speaker 1: That's a good question, I think, And to think about

1565
01:22:19,360 --> 01:22:24,960
Speaker 1: that for a minute. I don't. I don't. I don't know.

1566
01:22:25,160 --> 01:22:27,519
Speaker 1: I haven't. I haven't dissected that one. That's a very

1567
01:22:27,560 --> 01:22:29,920
Speaker 1: good question, Bob. I don't know that I have a

1568
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:32,400
Speaker 1: good answer to that, because I don't. I don't think

1569
01:22:32,439 --> 01:22:35,320
Speaker 1: I've thought back on it like that in that way.

1570
01:22:35,479 --> 01:22:42,080
Speaker 1: I think that I think that once honestly, Chris passing

1571
01:22:42,560 --> 01:22:46,439
Speaker 1: was extraordinarily devastating and the start of a spiral for me.

1572
01:22:47,160 --> 01:22:50,840
Speaker 1: But so shortly after Chris, we lost Cato, and that

1573
01:22:51,560 --> 01:22:54,160
Speaker 1: that hit me in a in a way that like

1574
01:22:54,240 --> 01:22:55,680
Speaker 1: I thought, Chris hit me in a way that I

1575
01:22:56,000 --> 01:22:58,840
Speaker 1: didn't know, you know, hit me into the gut and

1576
01:22:58,920 --> 01:23:00,920
Speaker 1: the gut that I didn't know I had. And then

1577
01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:04,880
Speaker 1: but then with Kato passing, that was so so close

1578
01:23:04,920 --> 01:23:08,160
Speaker 1: to home. It's so personal and so you know, such

1579
01:23:08,240 --> 01:23:10,200
Speaker 1: a huge part of my life. It's such a huge

1580
01:23:10,280 --> 01:23:13,800
Speaker 1: part of my life that that overtook everything. And so

1581
01:23:13,960 --> 01:23:16,519
Speaker 1: I think that Chris, you know, became a part of

1582
01:23:17,040 --> 01:23:22,559
Speaker 1: this whole umbrella that was loss and death and grief

1583
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:24,640
Speaker 1: and and and and it just it all kind of

1584
01:23:24,720 --> 01:23:27,920
Speaker 1: lumped together in this giant everything I love is dead.

1585
01:23:28,040 --> 01:23:30,360
Speaker 1: I don't see the point of life. And so it

1586
01:23:30,720 --> 01:23:33,599
Speaker 1: wasn't so specifically I didn't have the time to get over,

1587
01:23:34,320 --> 01:23:35,880
Speaker 1: not get over, but I didn't have the time to

1588
01:23:36,600 --> 01:23:42,080
Speaker 1: fully process and cart cart compartmentalized Chris's death because Kato's

1589
01:23:42,080 --> 01:23:45,080
Speaker 1: death happened so quickly after Chris' is so it all

1590
01:23:45,200 --> 01:23:51,320
Speaker 1: just became this one lump of hell. Not if that

1591
01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:53,160
Speaker 1: if that makes any sense. I don't mean to like

1592
01:23:53,439 --> 01:23:57,000
Speaker 1: belittle or or say they're not different, but it was

1593
01:23:57,080 --> 01:24:00,680
Speaker 1: so clear, were so quick next to you, so quickly, um,

1594
01:24:01,040 --> 01:24:03,599
Speaker 1: one after the other, that it was just this one

1595
01:24:03,680 --> 01:24:07,120
Speaker 1: to punch of pain and it all it all hurt.

1596
01:24:07,400 --> 01:24:10,360
Speaker 1: There was no going like, oh my arm hurts today

1597
01:24:10,439 --> 01:24:13,040
Speaker 1: and my leg hurts tomorrow. Is my whope, everything hurts

1598
01:24:13,680 --> 01:24:16,960
Speaker 1: all at once. Okay, let's go and do you go

1599
01:24:17,040 --> 01:24:19,040
Speaker 1: on the road now. And you've been on the road before.

1600
01:24:19,240 --> 01:24:22,920
Speaker 1: Anybody who's been there knows. It is a man's world.

1601
01:24:23,680 --> 01:24:27,840
Speaker 1: There's an occasional woman in the crew, and it's a

1602
01:24:27,920 --> 01:24:31,360
Speaker 1: real down and dirty lifestyle. And men can really be

1603
01:24:31,560 --> 01:24:35,639
Speaker 1: down in dirty when it comes to clothing, hygiene, going

1604
01:24:35,720 --> 01:24:39,600
Speaker 1: out drinking. Are you one of the guys? Are you

1605
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:44,280
Speaker 1: really separate? How do you interact? And I'm definitely one

1606
01:24:44,320 --> 01:24:48,000
Speaker 1: of the guys. Um, you know, I've aside from the

1607
01:24:48,080 --> 01:24:52,400
Speaker 1: fact that I have dresses. Uh, I'm one of the guys.

1608
01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:56,560
Speaker 1: I think. Um, we actually looked out quite or I

1609
01:24:56,560 --> 01:25:00,280
Speaker 1: don't know if we looked out, but we're a clean band. Um.

1610
01:25:00,360 --> 01:25:03,080
Speaker 1: We all appreciate hygiene in this group, so we never

1611
01:25:03,160 --> 01:25:05,439
Speaker 1: had to worry about that that kind of problem, um,

1612
01:25:05,479 --> 01:25:08,120
Speaker 1: which I think would have been my my biggest complaint.

1613
01:25:08,200 --> 01:25:10,560
Speaker 1: But no, as far as like traveling and touring and

1614
01:25:10,720 --> 01:25:14,439
Speaker 1: living and um just being together. It's it, we're all

1615
01:25:14,920 --> 01:25:17,160
Speaker 1: we're all very like minded. It's it's it's so just

1616
01:25:17,320 --> 01:25:20,800
Speaker 1: it's very easy. It's very it's one, you know, big

1617
01:25:21,000 --> 01:25:24,120
Speaker 1: family for even as cliche as that sounds, it really is.

1618
01:25:24,240 --> 01:25:27,679
Speaker 1: And I think that, you know, just the longer every

1619
01:25:27,800 --> 01:25:30,040
Speaker 1: year that goes by, the closer our bondas and the

1620
01:25:30,280 --> 01:25:33,640
Speaker 1: and the the easier everything gets. And it's just it's

1621
01:25:33,720 --> 01:25:35,720
Speaker 1: it's only gotten easier as time has gone on, which

1622
01:25:35,760 --> 01:25:39,040
Speaker 1: I think probably isn't the case for every band. Okay,

1623
01:25:39,120 --> 01:25:41,759
Speaker 1: so you talked about this hole you're win with drugs

1624
01:25:41,800 --> 01:25:44,840
Speaker 1: and alcohol. Are you sober or do you still drink something?

1625
01:25:45,960 --> 01:25:50,160
Speaker 1: I'm mostly sober, Um, I'm I never got into you know,

1626
01:25:50,360 --> 01:25:54,840
Speaker 1: the programs um that just to teach their own um.

1627
01:25:55,000 --> 01:26:02,000
Speaker 1: But I and I mean I occasionally all occasionally. First

1628
01:26:02,080 --> 01:26:05,240
Speaker 1: I smoked weed, Um, so I smoked lots of weed.

1629
01:26:05,640 --> 01:26:08,479
Speaker 1: But but no, I don't. I'm I'm mostly sober, like

1630
01:26:09,560 --> 01:26:12,000
Speaker 1: very Okay, So you don't. I haven't had a drink

1631
01:26:12,040 --> 01:26:14,320
Speaker 1: in two years. Okay, so a year and a half

1632
01:26:14,439 --> 01:26:16,519
Speaker 1: or whatever. Well let's talk a little bit before that,

1633
01:26:16,680 --> 01:26:19,719
Speaker 1: before all these tragedies. You play a gig, you're staying

1634
01:26:19,720 --> 01:26:21,840
Speaker 1: in a hotel. One of the band members says, I'm

1635
01:26:21,880 --> 01:26:23,880
Speaker 1: gonna go hang out at the bar. Are you gonna

1636
01:26:23,920 --> 01:26:28,519
Speaker 1: go hang out at the bar? Oh? It's first of all,

1637
01:26:28,600 --> 01:26:31,120
Speaker 1: the party. It's a really fun party until the party

1638
01:26:31,160 --> 01:26:34,720
Speaker 1: takes its toll. You know, there's there's your way to

1639
01:26:34,720 --> 01:26:36,760
Speaker 1: say it. Oh yeah, No, it was a blast in

1640
01:26:36,760 --> 01:26:39,280
Speaker 1: the beginning, but you know, like anything, and it turns

1641
01:26:39,320 --> 01:26:44,920
Speaker 1: on you. Okay, needless to say. Uh. Prior to cell

1642
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:48,680
Speaker 1: phone cameras, a lot of guys got into rock and

1643
01:26:48,880 --> 01:26:54,320
Speaker 1: roll for the sexual opportunities, and they are legion. What's

1644
01:26:54,360 --> 01:26:59,800
Speaker 1: your experience being on the road. Um, well, that's not

1645
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:03,560
Speaker 1: why I got into it, so it's probably different, you know,

1646
01:27:03,680 --> 01:27:09,479
Speaker 1: different priorities. Um, I mean it's I don't know, it's

1647
01:27:09,520 --> 01:27:14,400
Speaker 1: been pretty It's very isolated in one way, like touring is.

1648
01:27:14,479 --> 01:27:17,160
Speaker 1: It's it's so his bubble and we're so focused on

1649
01:27:17,240 --> 01:27:23,960
Speaker 1: the show itself that um hm, it's not like that.

1650
01:27:24,080 --> 01:27:26,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't like do I don't ask a

1651
01:27:26,760 --> 01:27:29,439
Speaker 1: more specific question because I don't really know you have

1652
01:27:29,520 --> 01:27:34,839
Speaker 1: a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Um, I'll leave you a guessing.

1653
01:27:35,680 --> 01:27:39,320
Speaker 1: I don't know one, but let me ask generally, I

1654
01:27:39,400 --> 01:27:42,240
Speaker 1: just don't like to looking for gossip here. Are you

1655
01:27:42,479 --> 01:27:45,320
Speaker 1: someone who tends to go from a relationship to relationship

1656
01:27:45,760 --> 01:27:48,200
Speaker 1: or someone who tends not to have a relationship, or

1657
01:27:48,240 --> 01:27:53,360
Speaker 1: someone who has long spells in between? Um, I'm either No,

1658
01:27:53,479 --> 01:27:56,120
Speaker 1: I'm certainly not a relationship to relationship person. I'm not

1659
01:27:56,400 --> 01:27:58,839
Speaker 1: like I don't jump around. I'm a I'm a loyalist.

1660
01:27:58,880 --> 01:28:01,559
Speaker 1: I'm a loyal person heart um, loyal with the people

1661
01:28:01,600 --> 01:28:03,880
Speaker 1: I work with them, loyal with my personal relationships and

1662
01:28:04,040 --> 01:28:07,320
Speaker 1: nuts um because I find you know, when you find

1663
01:28:07,360 --> 01:28:10,240
Speaker 1: someone you can trust and truly be yourself around in

1664
01:28:10,280 --> 01:28:13,880
Speaker 1: any capacity, whether that's romantic or business, you hang onto

1665
01:28:13,960 --> 01:28:16,920
Speaker 1: that for dear life. So that's that's kind of how

1666
01:28:16,960 --> 01:28:20,000
Speaker 1: I've always lived my life with very few people in

1667
01:28:20,120 --> 01:28:24,800
Speaker 1: my life, but very close people. So what's more sexist

1668
01:28:25,040 --> 01:28:31,320
Speaker 1: rock and roll or the TV business? Oh? Interesting question.

1669
01:28:37,280 --> 01:28:39,880
Speaker 1: I don't know, they're probably like probably equal. I think

1670
01:28:39,920 --> 01:28:44,600
Speaker 1: it depends on what you're talking about specifically. I mean, like,

1671
01:28:44,680 --> 01:28:47,360
Speaker 1: there's there's definitely more women on television than there are

1672
01:28:47,439 --> 01:28:49,080
Speaker 1: in rock and roll, But I don't know that that's

1673
01:28:50,040 --> 01:28:52,080
Speaker 1: is that sexism or is that just that there's less

1674
01:28:52,080 --> 01:28:53,600
Speaker 1: women in rock and roll because if you look at

1675
01:28:53,640 --> 01:28:55,880
Speaker 1: the pop charts, it's all women. So I don't you

1676
01:28:55,920 --> 01:28:58,560
Speaker 1: know women in music or I think I think the

1677
01:28:58,680 --> 01:29:00,880
Speaker 1: sexism side of you if you listen to like Joan

1678
01:29:01,000 --> 01:29:03,320
Speaker 1: Jet or someone who's um, you know, been doing this

1679
01:29:03,439 --> 01:29:06,080
Speaker 1: for a very long time. I think that the the

1680
01:29:06,200 --> 01:29:10,519
Speaker 1: sexist side of things has certainly changed over time. Like

1681
01:29:10,600 --> 01:29:14,360
Speaker 1: I've never felt I've I've felt moments of sexism in

1682
01:29:15,240 --> 01:29:17,920
Speaker 1: in music, but not to the degree that I think,

1683
01:29:18,600 --> 01:29:20,479
Speaker 1: you know, women like Joan and stuff had to deal

1684
01:29:20,560 --> 01:29:25,559
Speaker 1: with UM. It's much more I don't want to say inclusive.

1685
01:29:25,560 --> 01:29:27,280
Speaker 1: But I also just I don't look at it like that,

1686
01:29:27,400 --> 01:29:31,000
Speaker 1: Like I don't see myself as a a chicken a band.

1687
01:29:31,080 --> 01:29:33,640
Speaker 1: I see myself as like I'm a I do what

1688
01:29:33,880 --> 01:29:36,040
Speaker 1: you do. I see my as what all the guys do.

1689
01:29:36,160 --> 01:29:38,680
Speaker 1: I don't see I don't see gender like that. And

1690
01:29:38,760 --> 01:29:41,240
Speaker 1: you know, and I don't. All of my idols have

1691
01:29:41,320 --> 01:29:43,320
Speaker 1: always been men, and it's not because they're men. It's

1692
01:29:43,320 --> 01:29:45,960
Speaker 1: because I love their records, you know. It's it's not

1693
01:29:46,439 --> 01:29:49,120
Speaker 1: so I've never looked at genders this kind of divide,

1694
01:29:49,200 --> 01:29:51,320
Speaker 1: And maybe that's naive of me. But I just see

1695
01:29:51,360 --> 01:29:53,280
Speaker 1: it as the best songs, the best song with the

1696
01:29:53,320 --> 01:29:55,600
Speaker 1: best artis of the best artist. I want to be

1697
01:29:55,760 --> 01:29:57,560
Speaker 1: like them. I want to be like that. And so

1698
01:29:57,720 --> 01:30:01,920
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like to put the and only

1699
01:30:02,040 --> 01:30:04,360
Speaker 1: to focus on that. And and so because I think

1700
01:30:04,439 --> 01:30:06,840
Speaker 1: I don't focus on it, maybe I don't even notice

1701
01:30:06,880 --> 01:30:09,800
Speaker 1: it when it's happening, if that makes sense. That makes sense.

1702
01:30:09,880 --> 01:30:12,000
Speaker 1: But let's broaden it a little bit, just more of

1703
01:30:12,040 --> 01:30:16,200
Speaker 1: a me too thing. Uh. Any woman, never mind, a

1704
01:30:16,720 --> 01:30:20,599
Speaker 1: very attractive woman like yourself, has men hitting on them

1705
01:30:20,760 --> 01:30:25,320
Speaker 1: all the time. Okay, and if you have a profile

1706
01:30:25,800 --> 01:30:29,800
Speaker 1: first on a TV show, in a band, okay, that

1707
01:30:30,080 --> 01:30:36,479
Speaker 1: is amplified. So almost everybody in those walks of life

1708
01:30:36,880 --> 01:30:39,920
Speaker 1: has me two stories? Do you have? Me? Two stories?

1709
01:30:41,840 --> 01:30:47,880
Speaker 1: I have? I have? I have uncouth and un Yeah,

1710
01:30:48,000 --> 01:30:51,519
Speaker 1: I have uncouth encounters with with men, um of course.

1711
01:30:51,720 --> 01:30:54,479
Speaker 1: But I also think that every it's unfortunate and it's

1712
01:30:54,560 --> 01:30:56,920
Speaker 1: very sad. But I think that any woman of a

1713
01:30:57,000 --> 01:31:02,960
Speaker 1: certain age has been very uncomfortable sexual situations and at

1714
01:31:03,040 --> 01:31:06,840
Speaker 1: some point in their life. Um, probably most people have. Honestly, UM,

1715
01:31:06,960 --> 01:31:09,200
Speaker 1: So I don't I again, I don't want to get

1716
01:31:09,200 --> 01:31:11,840
Speaker 1: too into that. But of course, of course I've had

1717
01:31:12,080 --> 01:31:15,599
Speaker 1: uncomfortable situations that you know, in inappropriate situations of things

1718
01:31:15,680 --> 01:31:18,120
Speaker 1: that shouldn't have happened the way that they did. But

1719
01:31:18,320 --> 01:31:20,680
Speaker 1: on as far as the like getting hit on and things,

1720
01:31:20,720 --> 01:31:22,640
Speaker 1: I actually find it funny. I don't get hit on

1721
01:31:22,800 --> 01:31:24,600
Speaker 1: very much at all, and I don't I don't know

1722
01:31:24,720 --> 01:31:26,400
Speaker 1: if that's I think a part of that is because

1723
01:31:26,400 --> 01:31:30,200
Speaker 1: I built this, like there's this protection around. I roll

1724
01:31:30,280 --> 01:31:33,439
Speaker 1: around with four giant men with me all the time.

1725
01:31:33,479 --> 01:31:36,720
Speaker 1: That's very intimidating, Like I have this force with by

1726
01:31:36,800 --> 01:31:38,800
Speaker 1: being in a band of this of this crew of

1727
01:31:38,920 --> 01:31:40,720
Speaker 1: people that I roll with all the time. So I'm

1728
01:31:40,760 --> 01:31:46,320
Speaker 1: never I'm very protected in in this. Um. I don't

1729
01:31:46,320 --> 01:31:49,200
Speaker 1: know what we're kind of imposing. I guess when we

1730
01:31:49,320 --> 01:31:51,599
Speaker 1: were a force when we when we walk in together,

1731
01:31:51,640 --> 01:31:54,639
Speaker 1: and I'm never really boy myself, so um it would

1732
01:31:54,680 --> 01:31:57,760
Speaker 1: be so I just I don't think I experienced that

1733
01:31:57,880 --> 01:32:01,640
Speaker 1: in the same way that maybe some people do. Thought, well,

1734
01:32:01,680 --> 01:32:04,920
Speaker 1: what about everyday life. You're in New York City. I'm

1735
01:32:04,960 --> 01:32:07,640
Speaker 1: in New York, but I'm I don't know, like I

1736
01:32:07,760 --> 01:32:09,519
Speaker 1: love New York because it's you're in the middle of

1737
01:32:09,720 --> 01:32:12,960
Speaker 1: a billion people, but you can also completely hide. Um

1738
01:32:13,320 --> 01:32:15,320
Speaker 1: you know, it's in New York can be whatever you

1739
01:32:15,400 --> 01:32:18,400
Speaker 1: wanted to be based on the minute. And that's why

1740
01:32:18,479 --> 01:32:20,240
Speaker 1: I think it's so amazing that you can walk, you know,

1741
01:32:20,360 --> 01:32:22,840
Speaker 1: one corner and walk one block and you're in the

1742
01:32:22,920 --> 01:32:24,720
Speaker 1: heart of it all and turn another corner and you're

1743
01:32:24,720 --> 01:32:26,760
Speaker 1: in the middle of nowhere. And I think that that's

1744
01:32:26,800 --> 01:32:28,560
Speaker 1: so cool. And so it's it's very easy for me

1745
01:32:28,640 --> 01:32:32,919
Speaker 1: to kind of hide and and live very normal normally

1746
01:32:33,120 --> 01:32:36,559
Speaker 1: in in New York. And I don't know, especially with COVID,

1747
01:32:36,600 --> 01:32:38,400
Speaker 1: I don't go out, I don't do anything. I'm a

1748
01:32:38,479 --> 01:32:43,120
Speaker 1: homebody and very boring. Um so I'm yeah, it's I

1749
01:32:43,400 --> 01:32:45,439
Speaker 1: go for long walks and you know, who are you

1750
01:32:45,520 --> 01:32:49,240
Speaker 1: meeting on a walk? Would you ever say to yourself, Oh,

1751
01:32:49,520 --> 01:32:52,080
Speaker 1: you know, I need food, but I'm not gonna go

1752
01:32:52,200 --> 01:32:53,920
Speaker 1: to the market at this hour because I'm gonna have

1753
01:32:53,960 --> 01:32:56,360
Speaker 1: to deal with the public there and people gonna you know,

1754
01:32:56,840 --> 01:32:59,479
Speaker 1: try to hit on me or talk to me or whatever.

1755
01:33:00,280 --> 01:33:03,759
Speaker 1: Um yeah, I mean, not the market. But there's certain

1756
01:33:03,880 --> 01:33:05,439
Speaker 1: areas in New York, like if you don't want to

1757
01:33:05,479 --> 01:33:07,519
Speaker 1: be photographed or you don't want to be bothered by

1758
01:33:07,840 --> 01:33:11,600
Speaker 1: you know, paparazzi or ebayers or people like that, or

1759
01:33:12,120 --> 01:33:14,320
Speaker 1: people who might notice you you don't go to soho

1760
01:33:14,479 --> 01:33:17,000
Speaker 1: on a Saturday, like you know, there's there's areas where

1761
01:33:17,080 --> 01:33:21,040
Speaker 1: you just you know, to avoid um. So, yes, there's

1762
01:33:21,080 --> 01:33:23,960
Speaker 1: there's certainly times when you when you think that to yourself.

1763
01:33:24,000 --> 01:33:26,000
Speaker 1: But as far as just like going to the grocery store, like,

1764
01:33:26,320 --> 01:33:28,200
Speaker 1: I'm just a person will go to the grocery store.

1765
01:33:28,200 --> 01:33:31,760
Speaker 1: I'm not that I'm not that fussy. Okay, how about

1766
01:33:31,840 --> 01:33:33,920
Speaker 1: if you leave the house. You know, I was at

1767
01:33:33,960 --> 01:33:39,040
Speaker 1: a private situation with a household name and who came

1768
01:33:39,479 --> 01:33:41,760
Speaker 1: looking like she just walked out of, you know, a

1769
01:33:41,840 --> 01:33:45,200
Speaker 1: movie set. And I said, this is a sentence. She's

1770
01:33:45,240 --> 01:33:47,360
Speaker 1: known as a beauty. She has to leave her house

1771
01:33:47,479 --> 01:33:50,880
Speaker 1: every day and make herself up by the same token.

1772
01:33:50,880 --> 01:33:53,439
Speaker 1: I have another friend who was on television, went to

1773
01:33:53,520 --> 01:33:55,880
Speaker 1: pick up food and somebody came up to said, aren't

1774
01:33:55,880 --> 01:33:58,960
Speaker 1: you so and so said yeah, he said the person said,

1775
01:33:58,960 --> 01:34:03,200
Speaker 1: you look like shit. So do you feel that pressure? God,

1776
01:34:03,280 --> 01:34:05,400
Speaker 1: if I'm leaving the house, I gotta put my look on.

1777
01:34:06,640 --> 01:34:10,040
Speaker 1: I certainly did when I was on television, when I

1778
01:34:10,120 --> 01:34:12,120
Speaker 1: was on Gossip girl. I felt like I could. I

1779
01:34:12,560 --> 01:34:14,600
Speaker 1: hated leaving I didn't leave the house with makeup. I

1780
01:34:14,640 --> 01:34:17,400
Speaker 1: always had an output, an outfit together. Part of that,

1781
01:34:17,520 --> 01:34:20,200
Speaker 1: I think was that I was young and I actually

1782
01:34:20,240 --> 01:34:24,200
Speaker 1: really enjoyed expressing myself through fashion and makeup and things

1783
01:34:24,280 --> 01:34:27,840
Speaker 1: like that from the visual standpoint. Um. But also I

1784
01:34:27,920 --> 01:34:29,560
Speaker 1: knew it as my picture was gonna be taken and

1785
01:34:29,600 --> 01:34:31,760
Speaker 1: when I walked outside, So who wants to look like

1786
01:34:31,800 --> 01:34:35,120
Speaker 1: shit and photos? Um? But I think as I've gotten older,

1787
01:34:35,200 --> 01:34:38,360
Speaker 1: I've become much more relaxed in general about image and

1788
01:34:39,120 --> 01:34:42,519
Speaker 1: how I'm perceived and walking around New York and stuff.

1789
01:34:42,560 --> 01:34:46,080
Speaker 1: I don't I don't care, I don't like. I mean again,

1790
01:34:46,120 --> 01:34:47,680
Speaker 1: like I'm not going to go to one of the

1791
01:34:47,840 --> 01:34:50,679
Speaker 1: areas of New York that there's always paparazzi hanging around

1792
01:34:50,720 --> 01:34:53,160
Speaker 1: looking like crap, just because why would you do that

1793
01:34:53,280 --> 01:34:55,360
Speaker 1: to yourself? But just like leaving my house in the

1794
01:34:55,560 --> 01:34:59,639
Speaker 1: in the daytime, like I'll leave the house and looking

1795
01:35:00,040 --> 01:35:04,840
Speaker 1: quite normal and very average. Okay, So if you're a homebody,

1796
01:35:05,280 --> 01:35:09,880
Speaker 1: how you spending the time? You're watching television? You're reading books? Yeah?

1797
01:35:09,960 --> 01:35:13,040
Speaker 1: Watching tv? I mean we uh, we haven't been home

1798
01:35:13,080 --> 01:35:15,320
Speaker 1: from tour. Too long. So it's I'm actually just kind

1799
01:35:15,360 --> 01:35:17,439
Speaker 1: of I've got a lot of errands and chores and

1800
01:35:17,479 --> 01:35:19,320
Speaker 1: things that we're getting ready to leave again here soon.

1801
01:35:19,439 --> 01:35:22,200
Speaker 1: So it's a lot of like unpacking and repacking and

1802
01:35:23,040 --> 01:35:27,519
Speaker 1: things like that. Um, but yeah, I watched television playing music. Um.

1803
01:35:28,560 --> 01:35:30,320
Speaker 1: I walk a lot. That's the other thing I do

1804
01:35:30,400 --> 01:35:33,280
Speaker 1: in New York. I go for a mile long walks

1805
01:35:33,320 --> 01:35:37,160
Speaker 1: every day and just um people watch and and enjoy

1806
01:35:37,280 --> 01:35:40,320
Speaker 1: the city and the the energy that is that is

1807
01:35:40,400 --> 01:35:42,559
Speaker 1: New York. That there. You know, I've literally been around

1808
01:35:42,560 --> 01:35:45,559
Speaker 1: the world and there's no other place that even comes

1809
01:35:45,640 --> 01:35:47,519
Speaker 1: close to it. Like I love New York so much.

1810
01:35:47,600 --> 01:35:51,200
Speaker 1: It's so special and so different and so exciting and

1811
01:35:51,360 --> 01:35:56,160
Speaker 1: so it's it's the best. And so I'm never bored

1812
01:35:56,240 --> 01:35:58,320
Speaker 1: in the city because you can even if you're doing

1813
01:35:58,439 --> 01:36:00,880
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing, just all you have to do is walk

1814
01:36:00,920 --> 01:36:05,559
Speaker 1: outside and you you're watching a movie. Like is true.

1815
01:36:05,640 --> 01:36:07,080
Speaker 1: But you know, living in I grew up in the

1816
01:36:07,120 --> 01:36:09,880
Speaker 1: East Coast, fifty miles from New York City. But you know,

1817
01:36:10,120 --> 01:36:13,000
Speaker 1: the East New Yorker comes to l a looks around us.

1818
01:36:13,040 --> 01:36:15,599
Speaker 1: I don't get it. You know, you gotta use your car.

1819
01:36:15,680 --> 01:36:18,600
Speaker 1: There's not this that New York City greatest city in

1820
01:36:18,640 --> 01:36:23,240
Speaker 1: the world. In the world, buddy, Angelina would say, New

1821
01:36:23,320 --> 01:36:25,800
Speaker 1: York City, greatest city in the world, but I'd rather

1822
01:36:25,880 --> 01:36:29,400
Speaker 1: live in Los Angeles. Well, see, that's where I was

1823
01:36:29,479 --> 01:36:32,439
Speaker 1: talking to Margaret before we started talking, and then I

1824
01:36:32,560 --> 01:36:36,200
Speaker 1: was saying, Los Angeles is like that. I've all pretty

1825
01:36:36,280 --> 01:36:37,720
Speaker 1: much all of my friends who used to live in

1826
01:36:37,760 --> 01:36:40,000
Speaker 1: New York now live in l A. And they love it,

1827
01:36:40,080 --> 01:36:42,200
Speaker 1: and they're constantly trying to convince me to move there.

1828
01:36:42,240 --> 01:36:45,200
Speaker 1: They're going, you're crazy, you're missing out. It's beautiful, the weather.

1829
01:36:45,479 --> 01:36:47,519
Speaker 1: And I go to Los Angeles. I stay there for

1830
01:36:47,560 --> 01:36:49,959
Speaker 1: about a week. The first week, I'm going, this is amazing.

1831
01:36:50,280 --> 01:36:52,519
Speaker 1: It's sunny every day. I know exactly. I don't need

1832
01:36:52,600 --> 01:36:56,200
Speaker 1: to wear a jacket. I gotta it's awesome. The energy,

1833
01:36:56,360 --> 01:37:00,360
Speaker 1: the vibe that's so positive and great. After about two weeks,

1834
01:37:00,800 --> 01:37:03,360
Speaker 1: I'm so done and so ready to be Like for

1835
01:37:03,400 --> 01:37:05,479
Speaker 1: the first two weeks, I'm ready to move there. By

1836
01:37:05,520 --> 01:37:07,479
Speaker 1: the time third week comes around, I'm like, if you

1837
01:37:07,520 --> 01:37:09,280
Speaker 1: don't get me back to New York City, I'm gonna

1838
01:37:09,280 --> 01:37:12,719
Speaker 1: go absolutely crazy. I need the grit. I need the grime,

1839
01:37:12,840 --> 01:37:14,439
Speaker 1: I need the I don't want to feel like I

1840
01:37:14,479 --> 01:37:17,280
Speaker 1: have to wipe my feet when I walk outside to

1841
01:37:17,320 --> 01:37:19,479
Speaker 1: make sure my shoes are clean for your sidewalks, like

1842
01:37:19,920 --> 01:37:22,439
Speaker 1: I want, you know what I mean? I don't know.

1843
01:37:22,479 --> 01:37:25,160
Speaker 1: There's just something about New York that I can't I'm

1844
01:37:25,439 --> 01:37:26,920
Speaker 1: I fell in love with it when I was young,

1845
01:37:27,000 --> 01:37:28,800
Speaker 1: and I just don't think i'll ever look I feel

1846
01:37:29,040 --> 01:37:31,160
Speaker 1: about New York exactly about you know, you go to

1847
01:37:31,160 --> 01:37:32,960
Speaker 1: the East Coast. God, why am I living in l

1848
01:37:33,040 --> 01:37:35,320
Speaker 1: A blah blah blah. But after a period of time,

1849
01:37:35,600 --> 01:37:38,800
Speaker 1: I can't wait to get back to l A. I

1850
01:37:38,880 --> 01:37:42,920
Speaker 1: get it. Maybe one day, maybe one day, Los Angeles

1851
01:37:42,960 --> 01:37:45,320
Speaker 1: will become my new home, but not yet. I also,

1852
01:37:45,479 --> 01:37:48,439
Speaker 1: after spending five years in Maine um in the complete

1853
01:37:48,439 --> 01:37:52,439
Speaker 1: and utter isolation, I think the the mayhem of New

1854
01:37:52,520 --> 01:37:57,680
Speaker 1: York City is very refreshing. I was New York only

1855
01:37:57,760 --> 01:38:00,719
Speaker 1: works if you can get out. Mhm. If you're an artist,

1856
01:38:00,720 --> 01:38:03,000
Speaker 1: you don't have that much money, you're there seven week

1857
01:38:03,080 --> 01:38:06,760
Speaker 1: after week, it becomes oppressive. Yeah, it certainly can if

1858
01:38:06,800 --> 01:38:09,840
Speaker 1: you can get to Maine whatever. Okay, so whish. On

1859
01:38:09,960 --> 01:38:12,120
Speaker 1: the other side, if you're spenting twenty hours a day,

1860
01:38:12,120 --> 01:38:14,599
Speaker 1: I would see I would say. The opposite is spending

1861
01:38:14,600 --> 01:38:17,400
Speaker 1: twenty hours a day in Maine became extraordinarily oppressive. Where

1862
01:38:17,479 --> 01:38:19,640
Speaker 1: it was, it was torturous to be that one of

1863
01:38:19,680 --> 01:38:22,479
Speaker 1: the few people's lived in the country. Now, granted I

1864
01:38:22,600 --> 01:38:26,360
Speaker 1: lived in the country prior to Amazon, the Internet, I

1865
01:38:26,400 --> 01:38:29,840
Speaker 1: mean FedEx, so you're living in the boonies. And then

1866
01:38:30,040 --> 01:38:32,080
Speaker 1: the other thing I don't like about living in the countries,

1867
01:38:32,160 --> 01:38:36,800
Speaker 1: everybody knows your name. I like the anonymity. Everybody you

1868
01:38:36,840 --> 01:38:38,880
Speaker 1: don't know who I am. You don't know what I'm

1869
01:38:38,960 --> 01:38:42,080
Speaker 1: up to. It's really you know, and you don't have

1870
01:38:42,160 --> 01:38:44,200
Speaker 1: to say hi to the same person without talking to

1871
01:38:44,320 --> 01:38:47,840
Speaker 1: him for twenty years. There's no small talk in the city.

1872
01:38:47,880 --> 01:38:51,920
Speaker 1: It's the best, right right, Yeah. On the New York place,

1873
01:38:52,000 --> 01:38:56,000
Speaker 1: it's oh yeah, good to see you. Okay, bye. So

1874
01:38:56,240 --> 01:38:59,840
Speaker 1: you're in New York. Are your parents still in St. Louis? No, No,

1875
01:39:00,160 --> 01:39:03,880
Speaker 1: my family we moved to uh we moved from St.

1876
01:39:03,920 --> 01:39:07,840
Speaker 1: Louis when I was nine or ten ten um to

1877
01:39:07,960 --> 01:39:11,920
Speaker 1: Maryland because my dad switched companies or jobs, and so

1878
01:39:12,240 --> 01:39:14,479
Speaker 1: I lived in Maryland. Because my family still in Maryland,

1879
01:39:15,200 --> 01:39:19,200
Speaker 1: I have to make that I don't know what what

1880
01:39:19,280 --> 01:39:25,040
Speaker 1: does your she well she's very private and we'll let

1881
01:39:25,080 --> 01:39:29,240
Speaker 1: me talk about her. Um, but she is doing Wait,

1882
01:39:29,320 --> 01:39:32,160
Speaker 1: she she went to college. She's very smart, she's very

1883
01:39:32,600 --> 01:39:37,600
Speaker 1: uh driven, she's very beautiful and sweet and wonderful, and

1884
01:39:37,840 --> 01:39:41,639
Speaker 1: she's uh, she's currently in living life and figuring out

1885
01:39:41,680 --> 01:39:43,479
Speaker 1: what she wants to do with it. Um but I

1886
01:39:44,080 --> 01:39:46,280
Speaker 1: but she will literally kill me if I say anything

1887
01:39:46,360 --> 01:39:48,960
Speaker 1: more than that. But she's doing great and she's on

1888
01:39:49,080 --> 01:39:51,880
Speaker 1: her Okay. So, someone who spent all that time with

1889
01:39:52,040 --> 01:39:55,760
Speaker 1: your mother and absent from your father, what's your relationship

1890
01:39:55,840 --> 01:40:00,439
Speaker 1: with your parents now, both in quality and frequency. Um.

1891
01:40:01,000 --> 01:40:04,320
Speaker 1: I don't see my family very often. Um, you know,

1892
01:40:04,439 --> 01:40:07,559
Speaker 1: we have kind of a texting relationship. I guess. Uh,

1893
01:40:09,080 --> 01:40:12,200
Speaker 1: they you know, have always been very supportive of what

1894
01:40:12,320 --> 01:40:15,120
Speaker 1: I do. But I think that are you know, as I,

1895
01:40:15,439 --> 01:40:18,760
Speaker 1: as I got older and kind of moved into my

1896
01:40:18,840 --> 01:40:24,480
Speaker 1: own world of creation, Um, that they weren't really integral

1897
01:40:24,600 --> 01:40:27,160
Speaker 1: in and a part of you know, we certainly drifted apart.

1898
01:40:27,400 --> 01:40:30,240
Speaker 1: And so you know, I think our relationship is it's

1899
01:40:30,280 --> 01:40:32,840
Speaker 1: all right, it's good, you know, it's it's fine, but

1900
01:40:33,000 --> 01:40:45,840
Speaker 1: it's it's not super involved. You've had this career other

1901
01:40:45,920 --> 01:40:48,479
Speaker 1: than Jared Leto and you may have more number ones.

1902
01:40:48,960 --> 01:40:51,600
Speaker 1: You're the only person who really made success of the

1903
01:40:51,720 --> 01:40:55,920
Speaker 1: last couple of decades was first on television, So you've

1904
01:40:56,000 --> 01:40:58,840
Speaker 1: proved it. Yeah, staying party of that success. What do

1905
01:40:58,920 --> 01:41:02,800
Speaker 1: you want now? Oh man, that's a really good question.

1906
01:41:02,840 --> 01:41:05,880
Speaker 1: I should probably think about that more often. Uh, you

1907
01:41:06,000 --> 01:41:10,320
Speaker 1: know what I want now? Um? I want to have

1908
01:41:10,439 --> 01:41:13,800
Speaker 1: a good time all the time. That's what I want.

1909
01:41:15,320 --> 01:41:17,559
Speaker 1: So that's that affairs. I want a good time all

1910
01:41:17,640 --> 01:41:21,000
Speaker 1: the time. UM. I used to say the same thing

1911
01:41:21,040 --> 01:41:23,559
Speaker 1: in my life at one point. I feel like it's

1912
01:41:23,640 --> 01:41:27,960
Speaker 1: usually after the traumas hard. It's been some hard years

1913
01:41:28,000 --> 01:41:30,439
Speaker 1: and I just want things to be easy and fun

1914
01:41:30,720 --> 01:41:33,800
Speaker 1: and good and I want to have a good time, um,

1915
01:41:34,080 --> 01:41:36,000
Speaker 1: which is why I and I mean that. And I'm

1916
01:41:36,080 --> 01:41:38,640
Speaker 1: looking forward to the next couple of months because the

1917
01:41:38,760 --> 01:41:41,160
Speaker 1: touring is a good time and I hope it remains

1918
01:41:41,200 --> 01:41:44,040
Speaker 1: a good time before it's it's We're very excited to

1919
01:41:44,080 --> 01:41:46,519
Speaker 1: get back out on the road and go to Europe again.

1920
01:41:46,560 --> 01:41:48,720
Speaker 1: We haven't been to Europe and years and we're doing

1921
01:41:48,760 --> 01:41:52,080
Speaker 1: that in October. And finally we're starting to transition into

1922
01:41:52,720 --> 01:41:55,160
Speaker 1: becoming an arena band. We're playing our headlining our first

1923
01:41:55,200 --> 01:41:58,000
Speaker 1: arenas in Europe, which is very exciting. So just I

1924
01:41:58,040 --> 01:42:00,439
Speaker 1: just want everything to keep kind of growing and aggressing

1925
01:42:00,520 --> 01:42:05,160
Speaker 1: and and moving forward in a in a positive good way.

1926
01:42:05,360 --> 01:42:07,840
Speaker 1: And I and then I want to get back in

1927
01:42:07,920 --> 01:42:09,600
Speaker 1: the studio and I want to make more music. I

1928
01:42:09,640 --> 01:42:12,880
Speaker 1: want to make another record, and I want to, you know,

1929
01:42:13,040 --> 01:42:16,680
Speaker 1: kind of not close this chapter, but um, you know,

1930
01:42:16,760 --> 01:42:18,680
Speaker 1: but take a step forward from it, and I think

1931
01:42:18,760 --> 01:42:22,120
Speaker 1: and and and just see where life's gonna take me.

1932
01:42:22,240 --> 01:42:24,280
Speaker 1: I don't I mean, I don't. I don't know. I haven't.

1933
01:42:24,320 --> 01:42:27,280
Speaker 1: I don't have it all planned out. But um but

1934
01:42:27,400 --> 01:42:30,000
Speaker 1: I would like to continue to make music, and I

1935
01:42:30,040 --> 01:42:32,519
Speaker 1: would like to continue to better myself as an as

1936
01:42:32,560 --> 01:42:35,439
Speaker 1: an artist and as a person and and do that

1937
01:42:35,600 --> 01:42:40,360
Speaker 1: on a you know, minutely and daily basis. What do

1938
01:42:40,439 --> 01:42:42,799
Speaker 1: you think about the game, Because a lot of artists,

1939
01:42:43,000 --> 01:42:47,600
Speaker 1: especially in rock, bitch about the game, the streaming, Spotify,

1940
01:42:47,800 --> 01:42:54,720
Speaker 1: the playlist, the payments, the radio. But um, well, I

1941
01:42:54,800 --> 01:42:58,559
Speaker 1: read your letters on it all the time. I think

1942
01:42:58,720 --> 01:43:03,960
Speaker 1: that I think that I haven't gotten to involved in it.

1943
01:43:04,120 --> 01:43:07,280
Speaker 1: And that might sound stupid, but I think that I

1944
01:43:07,400 --> 01:43:11,720
Speaker 1: just try to. I think that I think that you've

1945
01:43:11,760 --> 01:43:13,920
Speaker 1: got to make I don't know what I think. I

1946
01:43:13,960 --> 01:43:15,599
Speaker 1: don't think. I don't think I'm smart enough to talk

1947
01:43:15,600 --> 01:43:18,600
Speaker 1: about this one to you. That's what I think. I

1948
01:43:18,680 --> 01:43:20,719
Speaker 1: think that I don't know enough, even though I should

1949
01:43:20,720 --> 01:43:22,559
Speaker 1: because I've been doing this a long time. I don't

1950
01:43:22,560 --> 01:43:27,000
Speaker 1: think I know enough to speak in a in a

1951
01:43:27,120 --> 01:43:30,800
Speaker 1: in a conversation. But is it something that bothers you?

1952
01:43:34,760 --> 01:43:37,040
Speaker 1: Yes and no, But I don't know that it bothers

1953
01:43:37,120 --> 01:43:41,920
Speaker 1: me on a on a specifically, I bought streaming. Is

1954
01:43:41,960 --> 01:43:44,280
Speaker 1: this weird thing? I have this love hate relationship with

1955
01:43:44,360 --> 01:43:46,680
Speaker 1: streaming where, you know, in one way, I think it's

1956
01:43:46,800 --> 01:43:50,880
Speaker 1: wonderful that everyone has immediate access to here music and

1957
01:43:51,200 --> 01:43:54,800
Speaker 1: you know, I you streaming. I listened to it. I'm guilty, um,

1958
01:43:55,080 --> 01:43:58,160
Speaker 1: you know, because it's so accessible, it's right there, um.

1959
01:43:58,240 --> 01:44:00,280
Speaker 1: And I think that that's wonderful because music should be

1960
01:44:00,320 --> 01:44:03,560
Speaker 1: shared and appreciated and listened to at nauseam. On the

1961
01:44:03,680 --> 01:44:06,479
Speaker 1: other hand, I am, you know, call me old school.

1962
01:44:06,520 --> 01:44:09,200
Speaker 1: I really appreciate the album, and I you know, that's

1963
01:44:09,240 --> 01:44:10,960
Speaker 1: what I grew up with. That's what I love where

1964
01:44:11,000 --> 01:44:13,679
Speaker 1: you really kind of delve into the art in this deeper,

1965
01:44:14,360 --> 01:44:17,000
Speaker 1: more meaningful way when you listen to records and it's

1966
01:44:17,080 --> 01:44:19,960
Speaker 1: and it's not this fleeting, quick little thing. It's it's

1967
01:44:20,000 --> 01:44:24,639
Speaker 1: something that's important and it has value um past past

1968
01:44:24,720 --> 01:44:26,880
Speaker 1: just a fiscal value, but like it has it has

1969
01:44:26,880 --> 01:44:29,439
Speaker 1: actual value, has physical weight when you're holding your hands.

1970
01:44:29,479 --> 01:44:32,960
Speaker 1: It has importance and and it's you know, it's it's

1971
01:44:33,000 --> 01:44:36,320
Speaker 1: like a it's a film, like it's it's it's worth something,

1972
01:44:36,360 --> 01:44:39,120
Speaker 1: and it's it's soulful and there's something to that that

1973
01:44:39,400 --> 01:44:41,719
Speaker 1: I feel like it's getting lost in the modern paradigm

1974
01:44:41,800 --> 01:44:46,200
Speaker 1: of music where you're you're missing this it's it's so

1975
01:44:46,880 --> 01:44:49,240
Speaker 1: it's so much, it's so much all the time that

1976
01:44:49,400 --> 01:44:53,320
Speaker 1: I think that the importance of what music can be

1977
01:44:53,880 --> 01:44:57,679
Speaker 1: is getting lost to a degree, or can get lost

1978
01:44:57,800 --> 01:45:00,920
Speaker 1: in a in an easier way. Um, whereas the you know,

1979
01:45:01,040 --> 01:45:05,360
Speaker 1: the album was something that encapsulates a time period in

1980
01:45:05,400 --> 01:45:08,040
Speaker 1: a moment in life, and you know of that artist

1981
01:45:08,120 --> 01:45:10,560
Speaker 1: where you can really get inside the artist's mind and

1982
01:45:11,240 --> 01:45:15,160
Speaker 1: and understand them, and by understanding them, you you understand

1983
01:45:15,200 --> 01:45:17,680
Speaker 1: yourself more. And you know, it's that whole symbiotic relationship

1984
01:45:17,760 --> 01:45:20,680
Speaker 1: with music and being a listener that I think is

1985
01:45:21,640 --> 01:45:24,440
Speaker 1: starting to get kind of dolled down because the importance

1986
01:45:24,560 --> 01:45:30,040
Speaker 1: of records and albums. With streaming, importance of music itself

1987
01:45:30,240 --> 01:45:32,960
Speaker 1: is becoming, so there's so much of it, I think.

1988
01:45:33,080 --> 01:45:34,880
Speaker 1: But I think it's the same thing with television too,

1989
01:45:35,000 --> 01:45:37,439
Speaker 1: Like there's just there's so much accessibility and there's so

1990
01:45:37,600 --> 01:45:41,400
Speaker 1: much product that it's overwhelming, and it's hard to find

1991
01:45:41,640 --> 01:45:45,920
Speaker 1: the real gems that that can change you as a person. Instead,

1992
01:45:46,000 --> 01:45:50,439
Speaker 1: you're you're infiltrated with, you know, a flux of tons

1993
01:45:50,520 --> 01:45:53,640
Speaker 1: of stuff that that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I

1994
01:45:53,680 --> 01:45:55,679
Speaker 1: don't I don't know. I I know that I still,

1995
01:45:56,080 --> 01:45:58,479
Speaker 1: even though I'm guilty of using streaming, and I still

1996
01:45:58,560 --> 01:46:00,640
Speaker 1: use streaming to listen to the records that I that

1997
01:46:00,760 --> 01:46:03,800
Speaker 1: I've always listened to. So I don't know. I don't

1998
01:46:03,840 --> 01:46:05,240
Speaker 1: really know what I think of it. I think that

1999
01:46:06,120 --> 01:46:07,640
Speaker 1: I think it depends on what you grew up with

2000
01:46:07,720 --> 01:46:10,040
Speaker 1: and how you how you use it, because I also

2001
01:46:10,080 --> 01:46:13,000
Speaker 1: think everyone uses streaming differently, so it's I don't think

2002
01:46:13,040 --> 01:46:16,040
Speaker 1: that you can put a blanket um some up with

2003
01:46:16,120 --> 01:46:18,320
Speaker 1: streaming good or streaming bad. I think it depends on

2004
01:46:18,439 --> 01:46:22,400
Speaker 1: the on the person and specifically what you know artist

2005
01:46:22,560 --> 01:46:26,439
Speaker 1: or moment or thing that you're talking about Okay, so

2006
01:46:26,680 --> 01:46:29,840
Speaker 1: there's a great queen song which doesn't get that much airplay,

2007
01:46:29,960 --> 01:46:32,320
Speaker 1: but I love it, which is I want it all,

2008
01:46:32,560 --> 01:46:34,920
Speaker 1: I want it all, I want it all, I want

2009
01:46:34,960 --> 01:46:39,000
Speaker 1: it all, I want it now. Okay, so I was

2010
01:46:39,200 --> 01:46:42,479
Speaker 1: literally listening to that like three days ago. I'm forgetting

2011
01:46:43,040 --> 01:46:49,040
Speaker 1: Traditionally musicians would sacrifice money to have more people other

2012
01:46:49,120 --> 01:46:52,559
Speaker 1: than Gene Simmons, but have more people listen to their music.

2013
01:46:54,040 --> 01:46:57,280
Speaker 1: Do you say, well, you know Spotify tip top fifty,

2014
01:46:57,920 --> 01:47:00,720
Speaker 1: it's hip hop and pop. But shure that's where I

2015
01:47:00,840 --> 01:47:05,120
Speaker 1: want to be. No, no, no, no, I I mean

2016
01:47:05,280 --> 01:47:09,360
Speaker 1: I no, because I don't fit on that list. Um,

2017
01:47:09,479 --> 01:47:11,600
Speaker 1: I make a different kind of music. I think that

2018
01:47:12,040 --> 01:47:15,160
Speaker 1: I would love for you know, our band The Pretty

2019
01:47:15,200 --> 01:47:20,320
Speaker 1: Reckless and you know rock and Roll two be at

2020
01:47:20,360 --> 01:47:22,760
Speaker 1: the forefront of those lists. Sure, I would love for

2021
01:47:23,120 --> 01:47:25,120
Speaker 1: you know, the whole world to think that rock and

2022
01:47:25,240 --> 01:47:26,640
Speaker 1: roll is the greatest thing in the world, because I

2023
01:47:26,720 --> 01:47:29,200
Speaker 1: think they should think that, um and have it be

2024
01:47:29,960 --> 01:47:32,719
Speaker 1: you know, the most played, most popular thing in the world.

2025
01:47:32,960 --> 01:47:35,880
Speaker 1: But you know, but I'm also understand that it's not

2026
01:47:36,000 --> 01:47:38,959
Speaker 1: always that. It's not that simple because it's not crafted

2027
01:47:39,040 --> 01:47:41,040
Speaker 1: for that. It's not meant for that, that's not what

2028
01:47:41,640 --> 01:47:44,280
Speaker 1: rock and roll is. Rock and roll is it's meant

2029
01:47:44,360 --> 01:47:46,880
Speaker 1: for the underdogs. It's meant for the you know, the

2030
01:47:47,320 --> 01:47:50,360
Speaker 1: the people are trying to find their place and you know,

2031
01:47:50,439 --> 01:47:53,720
Speaker 1: are a little more. Yeah, and I don't I don't

2032
01:47:53,760 --> 01:47:55,760
Speaker 1: like to sum everyone up in one thing. But you know,

2033
01:47:56,080 --> 01:47:59,960
Speaker 1: it's it's smart, it's thoughtful, it requires thoughts. It's meant

2034
01:48:00,040 --> 01:48:01,800
Speaker 1: to make you think. It's meant to make you feel

2035
01:48:01,840 --> 01:48:05,639
Speaker 1: in a real way. Um, and that's not what people

2036
01:48:05,760 --> 01:48:07,880
Speaker 1: want all the time, like which you know, it's that

2037
01:48:08,040 --> 01:48:11,080
Speaker 1: pop music is very accessible and you can put it

2038
01:48:11,160 --> 01:48:13,920
Speaker 1: on in the background. I'm not trying to make background music.

2039
01:48:14,400 --> 01:48:17,880
Speaker 1: It's just not what I do. Okay, going back to

2040
01:48:18,000 --> 01:48:22,559
Speaker 1: social media, we've established that you keep part of yourself

2041
01:48:22,640 --> 01:48:26,280
Speaker 1: removed from social media. But to what degree do you

2042
01:48:26,560 --> 01:48:30,640
Speaker 1: post which platforms? You do it yourself or you have

2043
01:48:30,760 --> 01:48:36,960
Speaker 1: a team, And then what are your thoughts about TikTok um? Well,

2044
01:48:37,080 --> 01:48:40,599
Speaker 1: I I run all my own socials. I'm pretty terrible

2045
01:48:40,680 --> 01:48:44,160
Speaker 1: at it. I still like but no, it's it's me

2046
01:48:44,400 --> 01:48:48,360
Speaker 1: like Instagram and Twitter and uh and Facebook is linked

2047
01:48:48,400 --> 01:48:52,040
Speaker 1: to Instagram and Twitter. Those are all me directly posting.

2048
01:48:52,640 --> 01:48:54,880
Speaker 1: Um and then the band sites are the four of

2049
01:48:55,000 --> 01:48:58,280
Speaker 1: us posting, so we all have logins to those. UM

2050
01:48:59,280 --> 01:49:03,720
Speaker 1: and TikTok is something that you know, everyone in the

2051
01:49:03,800 --> 01:49:06,000
Speaker 1: industry says you should be on and get on, jump

2052
01:49:06,040 --> 01:49:08,559
Speaker 1: on board with I have one I have at Taylor

2053
01:49:08,600 --> 01:49:11,240
Speaker 1: Momson on TikTok. I don't have a lot of posts

2054
01:49:11,280 --> 01:49:14,560
Speaker 1: because I haven't quite figured it out. And uh, but

2055
01:49:14,920 --> 01:49:18,280
Speaker 1: you know, I think it's it's just content, right, That's all.

2056
01:49:18,439 --> 01:49:22,479
Speaker 1: That's all anything is. It's just constantly posting something that's

2057
01:49:22,520 --> 01:49:23,760
Speaker 1: kind of how I see it. And so I just

2058
01:49:23,840 --> 01:49:27,160
Speaker 1: try to focus that on UM sharing a little bit

2059
01:49:27,200 --> 01:49:28,800
Speaker 1: of my life and what I'm doing, but you know,

2060
01:49:28,920 --> 01:49:31,439
Speaker 1: keeping it focused on on the art and the music

2061
01:49:31,560 --> 01:49:35,599
Speaker 1: and UM, you know that side of things, because that's

2062
01:49:35,840 --> 01:49:38,559
Speaker 1: that's what I want to share. But is there anybody

2063
01:49:38,600 --> 01:49:41,280
Speaker 1: on your team or yourself who says, oh, there's a

2064
01:49:41,400 --> 01:49:44,599
Speaker 1: track on this album and if I cut us ten

2065
01:49:44,720 --> 01:49:47,519
Speaker 1: second spot with this, there's a chance that'll catch on.

2066
01:49:48,760 --> 01:49:51,400
Speaker 1: Oh no, we're not that calculated. I probably should get

2067
01:49:51,439 --> 01:49:54,880
Speaker 1: someone on my team that things like that though. With

2068
01:49:55,000 --> 01:49:57,120
Speaker 1: the Internet is moving so quickly, I should probably get

2069
01:49:57,640 --> 01:50:01,880
Speaker 1: someone who's on it. Okay, Taylor, I think we've come

2070
01:50:01,960 --> 01:50:04,880
Speaker 1: to the end of the feeling we've known. I want

2071
01:50:04,920 --> 01:50:07,519
Speaker 1: to thank you so much for taking this time. I'm

2072
01:50:07,680 --> 01:50:12,400
Speaker 1: glad that you're back from your unfortunate hole in the world,

2073
01:50:12,600 --> 01:50:15,160
Speaker 1: but good to talk to you. It's great to talk

2074
01:50:15,160 --> 01:50:16,720
Speaker 1: to you. Thank you so much for doing this, Bob,

2075
01:50:16,800 --> 01:50:18,840
Speaker 1: It's it's I've been reading you for years and it's

2076
01:50:18,880 --> 01:50:22,920
Speaker 1: so nice to finally speak to you semi face to face.

2077
01:50:23,840 --> 01:50:28,040
Speaker 1: You bet Okay, until next time. This is Bob Left

2078
01:50:28,080 --> 01:50:28,400
Speaker 1: Sex