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Speaker 1: and enter my code Rose. Hi guys, it's art and
Speaker 1: I'm in my hotel in Atlanta, and um, it's going
Speaker 1: to be sort of an abbreviated podcast today because I
Speaker 1: have been shooting every day, which is very exciting. Um,
Speaker 1: but that means it's been hard to actually do the podcast.
Speaker 1: But I did a short one today with Sarah Kelowna
Speaker 1: who's on my show with me. We did it in
Speaker 1: her dressing room and it got caught off at the end,
Speaker 1: so my apologies. But the good news is, um, we
Speaker 1: will be going over anything that was missed this weekend
Speaker 1: at sketch Fest San Francisco. Sketch Fest this Sunday of
Speaker 1: four pm at Cobb's Comedy Club. I will be with
Speaker 1: my girl Aaron, with Secretary of State Pageck Brewster, with
Speaker 1: creepy uncle Steve Heiner. I will be with Bachelor of
Speaker 1: the Year Robert Benedict. Anna will be there. I think
Speaker 1: Katie will be there. But then we will have the hotties.
Speaker 1: Russian accountant in ever towhere, teenage ladies, leggings alex We
Speaker 1: will have the hilarious Dolphin Um the Dolphin slash Shark Alexis,
Speaker 1: and we have the sexy Sassy Jasmine. Will all be
Speaker 1: joining us this Sunday, four pm Cobs Comedy Club as
Speaker 1: part of San Francisco Sketch Fest. You can get tickets
Speaker 1: on our Facebook page. And at the very end, I
Speaker 1: will read the I will read the tweets that got
Speaker 1: cut off in a couple of emails. So thank you
Speaker 1: for listening. I know it's a shorty today, but we will.
Speaker 1: We will work it all out this Sunday and the
Speaker 1: that podcast will be going up live I believe next Monday. Okay, goodbye,
Speaker 1: no entering Stockholm. Oh lover, you're coming from the cat
Speaker 1: yarn O today, from the trailer of a lover friend
Speaker 1: You accept this room? Hello girl, No, I get it.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that's the kind of role realness again.
Speaker 1: You just you just heard the audio in the most
Speaker 1: important same song known to man. Hello, my name is
Speaker 1: Art very welcome to a very special episode of Will
Speaker 1: You Accept This Rose. I am here in Atlanta, Georgia,
Speaker 1: basically on the set. I am in the trailer with
Speaker 1: will you accept this Rose Podcast favorite she's been on?
Speaker 1: No I like it. It's so fucking cold out. Um.
Speaker 1: You might recognize that sultry dulcet tones from Chelsea Lately,
Speaker 1: but you will soon this August recognize her from the
Speaker 1: cast of the most important television show next to The
Speaker 1: Sopranos that has ever happened, The Insatiables, Miss Sarah Colanna
Speaker 1: Sarah arst hi for. We really spent a weekend together.
Speaker 1: We did. We did because we're working on this show together.
Speaker 1: We went to a drag club to a drag show together,
Speaker 1: which was amazing. We went to a drag show. We
Speaker 1: went to a drag show, and we watched football together.
Speaker 1: We did two very different things. I will say the
Speaker 1: drag show we got to go with our lovely coworker,
Speaker 1: Lissa Milana. Turns out every drag queen is named Alyssa
Speaker 1: after Alyssa Milana. That's right, That's right. They did say
Speaker 1: it was after She was a pretty good sport about it,
Speaker 1: but after the fifteenth I think she was like, all right,
Speaker 1: I yes, I get it, you're the ball and it
Speaker 1: was like time to go. When Tony Danza came out
Speaker 1: in full face contour was Jansen. It was time, because
Speaker 1: it's time, It's time. And then and then I got
Speaker 1: to go watch at our co star Dallas Roberts. He
Speaker 1: hosted gouss So the first football game. Aaron Foley would
Speaker 1: be so proud. I can't believe you went this long
Speaker 1: in life without watching a football game. I've napped to
Speaker 1: a few football games. I like this roar of the girl.
Speaker 1: I like to think I'm killing it. My my dad
Speaker 1: used to watch a lot of sports, but football was
Speaker 1: the one game that I never understood. So like I
Speaker 1: can kind of follow tennis, or I could follow soccer
Speaker 1: or best like, I just don't get the rules. Like
Speaker 1: we're not a sporty family. Yeah, the rules are confusing.
Speaker 1: The rules, but it was so exciting to watch with
Speaker 1: you and John Ryan, your husband who is the captain
Speaker 1: of the c L Seahawks. And he let me wear
Speaker 1: a super Bowl. Let you take a picture with it
Speaker 1: and wear it as long as you want it. Has
Speaker 1: he ever worn that? Like early on? Like we wear
Speaker 1: that well, we make sweet, so we love. Have you
Speaker 1: made love with the super Bowl right now? I think
Speaker 1: I have. It's too bulky, both you you don't want
Speaker 1: that coming to your another region that there's a lot
Speaker 1: of there's a lot of metal in there. The first
Speaker 1: night he got it, I do remember that I passed
Speaker 1: out with it on because I was like, oh, let
Speaker 1: me wear it for a minute, and then I fall aslate.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I I liked in my mind you
Speaker 1: were so psyched to have it on that you wanted
Speaker 1: some weird vendor, and then you woke up, You passed out,
Speaker 1: and you're like, what happened next? He knew you were
Speaker 1: like deep but almost in Mexico. You only got got
Speaker 1: past San Diego, but not quite over the border, not
Speaker 1: quiet just to Tijuana. You were trying to got to Tijuana.
Speaker 1: You got involved in some shady ship and in Tacoma
Speaker 1: doing a show. So it was like it wasn't even excited.
Speaker 1: Are you guys like royalty in Washington State? We uh,
Speaker 1: you know we are that we were voted the third
Speaker 1: most powerful couple in UM sports, after Wilson his wife Sierra,
Speaker 1: and then someone else. But we got like three good
Speaker 1: and it was in a newspaper and I was like,
Speaker 1: that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. I want to
Speaker 1: tell you my best thing I ever got I can't
Speaker 1: even believe I got three percent. I got three percent.
Speaker 1: Once on who Woren't better? It was addressed like here's
Speaker 1: what I realized. You want to make it into magazine
Speaker 1: hour like Getty Images. Look find an outfit that some
Speaker 1: much more famous, like some very famous person has worn
Speaker 1: that you'll clearly look worse it right, and then by
Speaker 1: like by or like by the outfit so you can
Speaker 1: take the hit and like in touch when they're like,
Speaker 1: who were it better? Like Olivia Wilde, or we're like,
Speaker 1: I'll always look worse. And I got like one percent
Speaker 1: of the vote, which was like a pity, but I
Speaker 1: wish I would have seen that. You know what it
Speaker 1: was me and Hayden Pantier and I got like three
Speaker 1: pcent of the vote and it was one of the
Speaker 1: best day. And I was like, this is genius. If
Speaker 1: I could afford the same dresses that these girls get
Speaker 1: the time, I would get the hit all the time.
Speaker 1: I would look worse than everyone. Thank you so much. Well, okay,
Speaker 1: so you we don't we have somewhat of a we
Speaker 1: have to sort of be briefed today because we're actually filming,
Speaker 1: But this is how important it was to us. In
Speaker 1: America needed to break down the movies. Now, I think
Speaker 1: Nick season was more boring, but this is very boring
Speaker 1: in a different way. Now, your husband got you into this,
Speaker 1: and he liked Ari until last night. Is that correct?
Speaker 1: I think he still likes him. He wasn't as offended
Speaker 1: by him as I am. Yes, you got mad. I
Speaker 1: found him a little creepy last night he watching it.
Speaker 1: My overall impression was because I because I hosted the
Speaker 1: Batchelor podcast, I did my research, and I've never seen
Speaker 1: Emily Maynard season. So I watched it this fall and
Speaker 1: I actually found that I didn't want to, but I
Speaker 1: liked Ari. But then watching it now I'm like, he's
Speaker 1: been on the vine too long, and now I watched him.
Speaker 1: He's disgusting. He doesn't ask one question. He's a dumb
Speaker 1: dumb and I think he's a sex addict. I like
Speaker 1: that you came up with sex addict. I think I
Speaker 1: don't know where that exactly, Like you just read like
Speaker 1: his work. I just felt like all he is is
Speaker 1: like in my mind, the guys. I know that, And
Speaker 1: again I don't really know. I know nothing about actual
Speaker 1: sex detiction, but I feel like it feels like he's
Speaker 1: he's just he's almost dangerous because he does seem sincere
Speaker 1: and it's almost a narciss cistic way, just at he's
Speaker 1: not going to ask a question, but he's going to
Speaker 1: seem like a nice guy and somewhat dopey, but he
Speaker 1: just wants to fuck everything. He doesn't. He doesn't ask
Speaker 1: anyone a question about He makes out with all of them,
Speaker 1: and then I, I don't care about an age difference
Speaker 1: as long as it's legal, and it's fine. I don't
Speaker 1: care either. But something about him with the nanny last
Speaker 1: night gave me the fucking creeps. I agree with you.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it was. He was like it
Speaker 1: was the way he was talking to her, and it
Speaker 1: was like it seemed so like he was so aware
Speaker 1: of how young she is, and he was like still
Speaker 1: he was still so yes, yeah, and there's only on
Speaker 1: to be on TV. She's like Instagram followers where she
Speaker 1: like makes the jokes about herself and so she's just
Speaker 1: trying to be which is fine, like whatever half of
Speaker 1: them are, but she's not into Ari. No, what's weird
Speaker 1: about it. He's too dumb and they're really great to care.
Speaker 1: They're really playing up like he's the same age Nick
Speaker 1: was last year. But they're really playing up like Grandpa Moses,
Speaker 1: like the fucking Cardigans and like the kids. Like he's
Speaker 1: like he's like he's they're playing up. How old, Like
Speaker 1: like he's basically like, I'm really boring. I'm really old.
Speaker 1: I just like to go to bed. I'm also just
Speaker 1: an overall I'm like, dude, Yeah, I mean when I'm
Speaker 1: thirty six, I hope that I still have some pep
Speaker 1: in my step. I'm so saited I can finally drive
Speaker 1: a car and when I rented, But I feel like
Speaker 1: I was also watching just my overall impression of him,
Speaker 1: like when they go to like Tahome, we'll get there.
Speaker 1: It's like, this is a guy who has no he
Speaker 1: has no curiosity about any of the world, like aside
Speaker 1: from other people. He's like, traveling is good because traveling
Speaker 1: has trees and boats and people, and then you get
Speaker 1: to people in a different town, like that's all. There's
Speaker 1: no curiosity. So I have to also say normally, I'm
Speaker 1: such a freak. When I hosted this and I pause
Speaker 1: it and I can write down everything verbatim, but I'm
Speaker 1: staying in a hotel and so I can't pause it,
Speaker 1: and so like this is it's also like the handwriting
Speaker 1: is the insane scribbling a real time. So it was
Speaker 1: a it was really featuring. I went to The main
Speaker 1: players were Crystal, who's give me Banas? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: here's the first tie with an odd voice. It's like
Speaker 1: as a Knight went on. She was barely audible by
Speaker 1: the end. It's like, yeah, I don't like if you
Speaker 1: if you can't help your voice, you can't help your voice.
Speaker 1: That that's not real. That's not real. It's not real.
Speaker 1: So it's definitely not real. She's so fucked up. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go. She's real crazy. So we start out
Speaker 1: and and there's a preview of the episode and she says,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, but it's gonna
Speaker 1: be flawless, like the do she a statement ever made.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to like, if I were her, I
Speaker 1: would have wished I could have like disengaged my hands
Speaker 1: string enough to reach up and kick myself in the
Speaker 1: teeth in the face. I said that. Um So, then
Speaker 1: there's a whole thing out in the pool. There's young
Speaker 1: Becca swimming like a little like she's she's just fun.
Speaker 1: Just care for she's a fun man. He's just swim
Speaker 1: with your kids before she fox your husband. That's fun.
Speaker 1: I'm a good sport like horseback right always with like
Speaker 1: some sort of shrug off her shoulders, like put your
Speaker 1: fucking coat up. Yeah, what did she saying? I can't
Speaker 1: I always have to be in first. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: her first, Like, dude, doesn't make you mysterious, It just
Speaker 1: means you shop it forever. Nothing wrong with that. Um
Speaker 1: so then we so there's everybody's just like realizing that
Speaker 1: she's a real threat. She's swimming by the pool and
Speaker 1: everybody's talking about the age difference. Does you know, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Like they're sitting up the big age difference
Speaker 1: and like and they're all like for sure when already
Speaker 1: finds out she's gone, and like noun, not only is
Speaker 1: she not gone, it's going to be a YEA was
Speaker 1: like watching the monument. You can see him get so
Speaker 1: erect when she said she was two and thumb at
Speaker 1: the bottom of the chail and that's what crashing out
Speaker 1: of his dick like, And that's what I was done
Speaker 1: with him, because I was like, if you're only turned
Speaker 1: on because she's younger. Then you're creeping me out. He
Speaker 1: was like, I thought you were twenty six, but you're
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're barely laying. Oh you know, he's
Speaker 1: so turned. I'm playori. Uh so they so they're swimming
Speaker 1: and somebody and then Crystal goes, this is a man
Speaker 1: who knows what he wants, and I'll be the voice
Speaker 1: of reason and that voice of reality. And then they
Speaker 1: wheel out, but you shouldn't say anything about voice. I'm
Speaker 1: my girl, you should. And then they reel out the
Speaker 1: corpse of Chris Harrison, who's like, ladies, like an animatronic.
Speaker 1: He's like, ladies, it's time to pack your already's already left.
Speaker 1: And they have to pretend like they care. Nobody wants
Speaker 1: to funk are. They wanted to suck Peter, but Peter
Speaker 1: wasn't available, so they're like, pack your bags. You're going
Speaker 1: on a world tour. First stop, self like talkout what
Speaker 1: the fund is? Self Like, I don't know what that means?
Speaker 1: What is self like tall because it's where they can film. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know. Maybe regularly somebody somebody treated
Speaker 1: at us and it was like the first place we
Speaker 1: got a group on was selth Light. Have you ever
Speaker 1: been to Lake Tahoe? I have not. It actually like
Speaker 1: pretty it is, it's supposed to be great. I have
Speaker 1: a friend that just Chris friend Joe, he just performed
Speaker 1: at Late Tahoe the improv and he says, we should
Speaker 1: all if you're listening South Like Tahoe improv Sarah Cloona
Speaker 1: and I want to do a tech in. Did you
Speaker 1: do you get as uncomfortable as I do when they
Speaker 1: have to run through like Marriott's and stuff and seem
Speaker 1: excited about like the lodge and they're like it's like
Speaker 1: Tahoe and the binocular thing, Like yeah, I get really
Speaker 1: uncomfortable when they have to act excited about anything any
Speaker 1: like when you see and particularly when it's like the
Speaker 1: Bachelorette and you see like grown men having to jump
Speaker 1: on beds like here we are and like Malmo sweeded
Speaker 1: like feather like pillow fights, like grown men having pillow fights.
Speaker 1: So they go up to South Lake Tahoe. He checks
Speaker 1: into the hard rock the girls check into like the
Speaker 1: lodge from smoking the Bear or something or like it
Speaker 1: just feels like it's from like some cartoon child cartoon,
Speaker 1: and and he goes, I think when you travel and
Speaker 1: do new things, it just helps to strengthen a bond.
Speaker 1: That's what he fucking said. Why do you hate him?
Speaker 1: Don't because he gets on my nerves. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, because, well, because he
Speaker 1: doesn't care about what anyone says. He doesn't have any
Speaker 1: interest in them, Like how about forced a bond by
Speaker 1: like or how about get a bond by like asking
Speaker 1: people about anybody anything anything? Well, in some ways, like
Speaker 1: when you look at the women that he actually does
Speaker 1: seem to have a connection with, like Becca, the girl
Speaker 1: that he just like, I just want to spoil you from,
Speaker 1: like the one, the long haired one from the first day,
Speaker 1: which was so uncomfortable, but like she actually like it's
Speaker 1: a smart, grounded woman and actually talk to him like yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought they had like a thing. And then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, it seems like she's like on the
Speaker 1: back burner. My I know, my theory last week was
Speaker 1: that she was going to win, But now I feel
Speaker 1: like might be surely sure? Hair, I think I do
Speaker 1: you think he's going to make everybody angry and pick
Speaker 1: this Chary? I think at some point he no, because
Speaker 1: she doesn't want to be with him, and he knows it,
Speaker 1: like that's the fact. It is, like she is, she
Speaker 1: just wants to be on TV. She's got some Instagram followers,
Speaker 1: she does some fun things. She's cute and funny. So
Speaker 1: she doesn't want to be with Ari. No, not remotely.
Speaker 1: She's so young. She should be with like Dean Um.
Speaker 1: So then she's so young that he was able to
Speaker 1: put his entire hand through her hoop earring last night.
Speaker 1: She was wearing such a big hoop aaron that he
Speaker 1: actually put I was like, so, I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, he's gonna move his hand and rip out
Speaker 1: her earing. His entire hand went through the hoop. So
Speaker 1: I don't know if he has tiny hands or if
Speaker 1: she just wears the God, I hope he has tiny
Speaker 1: whole He was like holding his whole hand was through.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. That's so good. So then so then
Speaker 1: she shows up and so they go and they have
Speaker 1: the one on one Cianne, who's way too good for her,
Speaker 1: get the one on one date and crystals, Like Cianne
Speaker 1: has a one on one day to day and she's
Speaker 1: probably going home tonight and that makes me so happy.
Speaker 1: Good luck. It's like fuck, you you are the word.
Speaker 1: She's so mean. I don't like her. She's so mean. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then and like even on the first thing, she
Speaker 1: kept interrupting and she's like, let's get advice bad at me.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's just like she's like it was
Speaker 1: like she's like, I just feel bad, Like we just
Speaker 1: have such a connection like that, you should get your
Speaker 1: time that it's hard because we have a connection. It's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we get it. You had if we went to his
Speaker 1: fucking house, you met his dog, Like I get it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that was weird. That was so that was
Speaker 1: so weird. Feels like his mom. Why did they decide
Speaker 1: to bring she did? Why did they decide to bring
Speaker 1: date two on? To meet parents like the woman who
Speaker 1: looked just like his mom, to meet his mom who
Speaker 1: loved her? The mom the only woman in America who
Speaker 1: loved Crystal is Alreadys mom, which I think said something
Speaker 1: about why I always walked up Yeah that's true. Um.
Speaker 1: So then they go this date, she's so sweet and
Speaker 1: they go parasailing, the lowest parasailing I've gone parasailing, parasailing
Speaker 1: in Mexico, in Mexico, and was like and then I ate, uh,
Speaker 1: some spare ribs at Carlos and Charlie's because I know, guys,
Speaker 1: if you go to Mexico and you're like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go off roading and eat a rack or ribs,
Speaker 1: I don't you might want to do that in the States.
Speaker 1: I threw up thirteen times on one night. Yeah, racker
Speaker 1: ribs in Mexico at a most and Charlie seems like
Speaker 1: an odd twice. It seems like your parents weren't paying attention.
Speaker 1: Oh you know what, and that's how you're going to comment,
Speaker 1: like good luck in Mexico. I'll be at the swim
Speaker 1: up bar moz Tequila porpa works. Um. So they go,
Speaker 1: they go in the little school with parasailing date and
Speaker 1: and she's just like and then they go on this
Speaker 1: day on the beach and he didn't ask that, just
Speaker 1: the silence. He's like, well we've or not. It's just
Speaker 1: like yo, you know, he goes waves are awesome like this,
Speaker 1: see's awesome. I love the sea. That's the other thing
Speaker 1: about him is I and I understand that I say
Speaker 1: it at times too. I try to be aware of it.
Speaker 1: The amount of times everyone says like on the back
Speaker 1: short makes me want to, but he thirty six year
Speaker 1: old man, he does, and he says it more than
Speaker 1: all the girls. I haven't noticed that because I know
Speaker 1: I started noticing it last night when I started getting
Speaker 1: angry with him, when he had his little tiny hand
Speaker 1: through its tiny like the Christian wage character that he's got,
Speaker 1: like a micro penis and tiny hands. So just waves
Speaker 1: are awesome and using the word like every other sentence,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is your You know? I became aware
Speaker 1: watching him because I feel like I do this and
Speaker 1: now I really hope I never do it again. He
Speaker 1: keeps referring to them as girls and not women like
Speaker 1: you girls, and I'm aware. I'm like, I guess, I
Speaker 1: don't know, like in this climate, right, there's something about
Speaker 1: me it's like, and I know I do that too.
Speaker 1: But if you're not a man dating fifteen women and
Speaker 1: I'm forty eight year old, uh race car driver slash
Speaker 1: like fucking century twenty one employee, that's like just fingering
Speaker 1: my way through every like unemployed actress in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: But I hope to be one day. I can't wait.
Speaker 1: So they go, and so she's like really feeling vulnerable.
Speaker 1: She really got rab by her parents at the age
Speaker 1: of fourteen. It was like, love isn't safe. I can't like,
Speaker 1: I just learned like it was a lot of love
Speaker 1: isn't safe and and but I did like the there
Speaker 1: are other girls who this love story looks like it's
Speaker 1: more appropriate for them, like and I like, I thought
Speaker 1: I liked her pointing that out that you know, you
Speaker 1: always see it was always the white girl on the end.
Speaker 1: It's always like that. She just didn't grow up with
Speaker 1: that image. And then what kind of bum me out
Speaker 1: was like at some point he was like, maybe this
Speaker 1: is the beginning of like our loves And I just thought,
Speaker 1: you're not going to pick her? Man, like, don't funk
Speaker 1: with this lovely, brilliant, Harvard educated young lady. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just like she's so beautiful and cool. He didn't
Speaker 1: ask her any questions, No, he doesn't hasn't asked anyone
Speaker 1: any questions. He just says things about the water. And
Speaker 1: he likes the trashiest white girls. He likes trashy white
Speaker 1: girls like blonde. He likes like except for Becca that
Speaker 1: is not trashy. The ones he wants to bone. It's
Speaker 1: like Crystal and the single mom a little bit. No,
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened to back the other backgup.
Speaker 1: I really thought she was going to be a front
Speaker 1: runner and I did too, And maybe they're just trying
Speaker 1: to steer us off. I feel like they knew that
Speaker 1: he had to think. My gun feeling is the producers
Speaker 1: know that he's got like a little bit of a
Speaker 1: taste for summer, sort of like just like a little more,
Speaker 1: and so they made him pick a very sort of
Speaker 1: very presentable. It's very Kate Middleton elegant like that first
Speaker 1: Becca was very sort of presentable and elegant, and it
Speaker 1: made him seem like a thoughtful, good guy. Yea, And
Speaker 1: even though all he did was like buy her dresses
Speaker 1: and the grossest lubes that have ever been Yeah, well
Speaker 1: I and I those were so ugly. And then I
Speaker 1: love that they put all those dresses and then all
Speaker 1: that jewelry on her right. And then he was like,
Speaker 1: and you get to keep the ear rings. It has
Speaker 1: to be like, don't try to think that you're keeping
Speaker 1: it the tiniest little rings that are in your ears.
Speaker 1: And she says, it's like, guys, like I live in Minnesota,
Speaker 1: Where am I going to wear? Where am I going
Speaker 1: to wear any like unless Prince was still alive? Like,
Speaker 1: I like going to go to like Paisley Park, where
Speaker 1: am I ever? Like it's the wrong vibe for the
Speaker 1: wrong lady, Like now you're ready, You're ready for You're
Speaker 1: gonna be the hottest lady in Minnesota. Now I dressed
Speaker 1: you up for me exactly. And he's like, I want
Speaker 1: to spoil you. You need to be like she She's
Speaker 1: also like, you're not spoiling her. ABC is spoiling her.
Speaker 1: And Rachel's was spoiling her. You didn't go out and
Speaker 1: buy all this ship for her. I actually like I
Speaker 1: liked I liked all the dresses more than I wanted to.
Speaker 1: I liked them. I like Rachel's. Did I like that
Speaker 1: when they were all like all of them, they were all?
Speaker 1: I was like, that's it actually made me want to
Speaker 1: go on Shop Bop and look up Rachel's. I was like,
Speaker 1: those are really cute dresses. Instead, just catch you another
Speaker 1: Pam and respect. Oh my god, these are the best.
Speaker 1: This is this Christmas. I can't believe I don't have
Speaker 1: a pair on. I gotta tell you, I saw them
Speaker 1: and I knew that I needed them in my life.
Speaker 1: And let me tell you, if you've got a big
Speaker 1: event coming up, the most overpriseder, SWEPPI the bougie is
Speaker 1: what I asked for for Christmas. I got a bougie
Speaker 1: Pears there the Southern song. They're so Monroe. Maybe the
Speaker 1: smallest means we'll send us a pair of booty shorts
Speaker 1: or something, Munroe, please wear them to work, because like
Speaker 1: you come usually you're working at like five in the
Speaker 1: morning or whatever late at night, so like, and we
Speaker 1: have obviously we got dressed here. So yeah, they're the perfect,
Speaker 1: They're the perfect. Oh my god, and they're a and
Speaker 1: then me also, oh my god, please, friends are both
Speaker 1: of us, both of us we need it. So then
Speaker 1: she he was like, from the night he stepped out,
Speaker 1: I feel like I knew you. And and then they
Speaker 1: they had to go out, and then they had to
Speaker 1: go dance, which and then they go and they have
Speaker 1: to dance, and the doors open and there is fucking
Speaker 1: blanco blanco whango. I think that was the best. And
Speaker 1: it's always my most uncomfortable watching people. Actually, if I
Speaker 1: hadn't tend to recognize somebody on stage, well that and
Speaker 1: then having to slow dance, I'm actually more uncomfortable when
Speaker 1: no one is in the crowd, like when it's just
Speaker 1: you haven't just slowed this in front of like a
Speaker 1: violinist like on the show. I guess I'd rather do this,
Speaker 1: like getting snapchatted by strangers, but like having to be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, Blanco is here. This was the best
Speaker 1: name ever, Blanco. I when you were texting me because
Speaker 1: we were watching it but I hadn't want turned it
Speaker 1: on yet and you were like, oh my god, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know that is, But then
Speaker 1: I do know that song really well, and I actually
Speaker 1: love that song. So oh my Gods are like a
Speaker 1: real band. They're real band, and they were just that
Speaker 1: song was I heard this story the other day. Apparently,
Speaker 1: um there's a show. Maybe it's Ashton Kutcher. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: that show. Okay, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah
Speaker 1: yeah the Dealer, Right, it might be that show, or
Speaker 1: maybe it's the other show. But one of those shows
Speaker 1: found that song and it's like made them huge because
Speaker 1: oh like so I was actually again it was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like so you would have actually been
Speaker 1: psyched if you were getting grind and I real her.
Speaker 1: But that's the only song I know by them. That's
Speaker 1: the only song that they've ever written. I think it's
Speaker 1: the only one thing that they do a concept. They
Speaker 1: display that song. Yeah, and everyone's like so psyched. That
Speaker 1: is lanko. Um, he kissed her because that's what he does.
Speaker 1: But then he did the white guy wedding dance dance
Speaker 1: the prets sol he fully. It made me so uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Every guy just knows that one move. Guys learn how
Speaker 1: to dance. Can I just say a guy that can
Speaker 1: actually dance a little just dances a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the white guy pressl made me spin with like the
Speaker 1: dip and like sometimes like a slide, like I us
Speaker 1: get one more move. Even if you just break apart
Speaker 1: and you just started breaking into the running man, I
Speaker 1: would respond so much more. I would sucking. It actually
Speaker 1: would make him interested that I would appreciate. So then, um,
Speaker 1: they find out the one on one is happening and
Speaker 1: it's Becca is going on the one on one and
Speaker 1: it's a fourteen year age difference. Oh you know what. Wait,
Speaker 1: hold on, I feel like I missed one thing because
Speaker 1: it's all over the place, because I couldn't cause it
Speaker 1: m hmm. It wasn't even interesting. Never mind never mind,
Speaker 1: Um the girls were not happy about the one on. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: so so the girls were not happy. And there's the
Speaker 1: group date first and they go into the woods and
Speaker 1: they bring out a green break combat commander. Um, which
Speaker 1: was maybe the best thing ever watching the girls be
Speaker 1: willing to drink their own being on television. I mean,
Speaker 1: that might have been one of my highlights. Sees, it's
Speaker 1: not something I was expecting. I didn't under stand what
Speaker 1: those like recyclable containers. I didn't know what there were.
Speaker 1: Timeout was recycling. I didn't understand that they were supposed
Speaker 1: to pay in the jar. But then then you know,
Speaker 1: they all went and pete in the bot. That's hard
Speaker 1: as a female to pe in a bottle. And then
Speaker 1: one of them was having at it. She was like psyched. Yea. Oh.
Speaker 1: And by the way, in the interim at Sweet Mickel
Speaker 1: that we I really thought because they featured her early
Speaker 1: on in the packages, the wedding photographer from Utah who
Speaker 1: hasn't done anything. Um, I hope she comes back, but
Speaker 1: her grandpa died so she had to leave. That was
Speaker 1: that was sad. I felt bad for her. Um. So
Speaker 1: then they so they go in the woods, they tried
Speaker 1: to pee in a bottle, and Jenna, the one who
Speaker 1: was in the white dress at the end of like
Speaker 1: the last episode, who was like basically fucking him on
Speaker 1: the couch when they were both ship faces very and
Speaker 1: she was like, I will drink my pe for ari.
Speaker 1: I've eaten bugs before. Like it's like she's so deviant
Speaker 1: that she just wants to fucking she wants to drink. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: one She's like, just asked me to drink. Just dare
Speaker 1: me so I can be the person to drink my
Speaker 1: p On The Bachelor, she was bummed that they cut
Speaker 1: him off before she got to drink her peer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: why can't. I was thinking about this last night and
Speaker 1: I probably have said this every remember watched The Bachelor,
Speaker 1: But how come nobody is ever like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm just not feeling it? You know what I actually
Speaker 1: worked with? Well, this happened twice. I have. There was
Speaker 1: once in me when it was Caitlin in the beginning
Speaker 1: and that other girl that got kicked off, and then
Speaker 1: that super gay guy that was like I need to
Speaker 1: go find that other girl, and then they had this
Speaker 1: side relationships. But he was so gay and then at
Speaker 1: the end, she's like, we're just going to be the
Speaker 1: best of friends. I'm like, he was like a singer
Speaker 1: songwriter that what he knew if he followed her, that
Speaker 1: he would stay on, but that he would get publicity.
Speaker 1: And then I actually um in the Scooby Doo movie
Speaker 1: that I did the bad guy love interest Brooks was
Speaker 1: on some season I didn't watch, but I guess he
Speaker 1: made it to the final three, and then he tucked
Speaker 1: out like right before, like he was final three and
Speaker 1: then was like, I'm not into this. I guess in
Speaker 1: some ways Peter kind of did that kind of yeah,
Speaker 1: but I mean, I'm just like, even now at the beginning,
Speaker 1: like yeah, you would think, why do they all act
Speaker 1: either like they're obsessed with him or heartbroken if he
Speaker 1: doesn't like them, Like, why can't one just be like
Speaker 1: it's fine. I barely got to know him. I don't
Speaker 1: I didn't find him that interesting and peace out. Thanks
Speaker 1: for the screen time, MAYBC. I wonder if you're so
Speaker 1: starved for any kind of um, does any kind of
Speaker 1: like stimulus that you get just caught in the competition
Speaker 1: and wanting to win, and you're just there for one
Speaker 1: purpose and you don't do and you just sit. There's
Speaker 1: no music, there's no magazines, there's no like, you can't
Speaker 1: work out. You're just stuck in a house trying to
Speaker 1: funk a realtor. Right, and so you're like, the only
Speaker 1: way to get me out of this happen. I took
Speaker 1: my way out through southern music. I don't know, she
Speaker 1: doesn't like me enough, and I'm going to have to
Speaker 1: keep going on group dates with all these girls and
Speaker 1: I hate them. Also, I just have to fall in
Speaker 1: love with him and try to get the one on
Speaker 1: ones all the time. And I also feel like now
Speaker 1: the game has changed so much. I feel like the
Speaker 1: more I've gotten to know some of these people, because
Speaker 1: I actually I feel like a lot of them are
Speaker 1: just trying to get to Paradise because they pay them
Speaker 1: in Paradise. They actually earn a living in Paradise and
Speaker 1: not they make money in Paradise. And like, I think
Speaker 1: you get your a lot of them because they're all
Speaker 1: so young. Like if you get enough Instagram followers, Oh
Speaker 1: you know, the nanny's going to Paradise. Oh yeah, she
Speaker 1: is going to Paradise, Yes she is. She. I want
Speaker 1: to look up her and do you know her last name, no,
Speaker 1: but I know that Debbie's been going. We got our coworker,
Speaker 1: Debbie Ryan to start watching and she's deeper. She's going
Speaker 1: to do a podcast later this season because it's like, um,
Speaker 1: it's I remember someone was telling me that you have
Speaker 1: to like look up her because it's like her Instagram.
Speaker 1: Debbie showed it to me. It's just like professional photo
Speaker 1: shoot after professional photo shoot for like the last five years,
Speaker 1: with like and like a lot of them, with almost
Speaker 1: her tips showing like holding like a little like pineapple
Speaker 1: in front of her tit. And then I think beck
Speaker 1: a case the other one, and then like I think
Speaker 1: she's Becca with a K, and then I guess Becca
Speaker 1: Nanny Bachelor Instagram. I'm just gonna put in Becca Bachelor.
Speaker 1: People will know who it is, so I'm gonna keep
Speaker 1: So they go on this Oh that's quite all right.
Speaker 1: So then they're on this group date there in the woods.
Speaker 1: They have to like go on these teams and then
Speaker 1: Marik is using her she's brushing her hair and her compass,
Speaker 1: which comes up later in the Greatest Tag Ever. And
Speaker 1: then they find he brings off into these teams and
Speaker 1: he crystals pouting because she's not on one on one
Speaker 1: and then they go into a hot tub. He sticks
Speaker 1: her arm around her and she's so which was weird.
Speaker 1: And then that was weird, and then the other girls
Speaker 1: were like kind of making fun of and then she's like,
Speaker 1: I'm almost thirty and she freaks out and she that's
Speaker 1: when she says, I don't know what I'm gonna do,
Speaker 1: but whatever I do, I have a feeling is going
Speaker 1: to be perfect. And it's like she can't handle. And
Speaker 1: they're all in the group date, like in the hot tip,
Speaker 1: pretending to be excited about this guy, pretending pretending because
Speaker 1: he's he's like a wet noodle. Yeah, when was the
Speaker 1: last When was the last exciting bachelor? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean Nick was so and Ben Higgins was so boring.
Speaker 1: I've never seen a good bachelor that one girl. Also, yesterday,
Speaker 1: there's a girl that looks just like Jojo. It's freaking
Speaker 1: me out. She's like got long brown hair, and every
Speaker 1: time they play I'm like, oh my god, wait, it's
Speaker 1: like Jack. She realized to Big Jordan Roger and he's
Speaker 1: actually doesn't want to fuck her and like he Oh god,
Speaker 1: that was an odd parent. Okay, so then they go
Speaker 1: on the group date. She's freaking out and um he
Speaker 1: pulls aside the little young blonde Lauren who was nervous,
Speaker 1: and she and then she says to him, what are
Speaker 1: you looking for? I know you're looking for a flexible schedule.
Speaker 1: That's the only thing you learned about him. That's it,
Speaker 1: That's all you know. And then he's and she's like,
Speaker 1: I want to be grow He didn't even answer anything,
Speaker 1: and she's like, I want to be old and gross
Speaker 1: looking and still spanking each other. And he goes, I
Speaker 1: like that, yeah, just like like waves are awesome, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: he gives like zero, gives zero insight into like what
Speaker 1: life would be like with him, except for that it
Speaker 1: would probably be pretty boring. He does. Let you know,
Speaker 1: it'll be boring, Like you nothing else, you've been four warmed,
Speaker 1: It's gonna be boring. Yeah, that's basically all he I
Speaker 1: think he was a real rich kid who's like hot
Speaker 1: enough that like he didn't have to dive. I think
Speaker 1: he's really rich and his parents are rich and he
Speaker 1: didn't have to develop a personality. Yeah, when we got
Speaker 1: when we went to his house that first would or
Speaker 1: whatever episode that was, I was like, oh, it seems
Speaker 1: like his family has a ton of money. John was
Speaker 1: saying that his family has like fifteen million dollars and
Speaker 1: our arias like four, but like that's a lot of money. Um.
Speaker 1: So then Kendall's site because she's always wanted to eat
Speaker 1: a bunch of bugs. And then and then so she
Speaker 1: kiss she kisses him and she want to eat a
Speaker 1: bunch of bugs and drink her Yeah, she goes, I
Speaker 1: was and he goes, that was gross. He's dumb. I
Speaker 1: like that water is awesome. That was gross. And then
Speaker 1: she said I brought Ping Ping my penguin, and then um,
Speaker 1: and then he goes, how does one travel with perk taxidermy?
Speaker 1: And she said, Ping Ping's actually the best traveler I've
Speaker 1: ever seen. And he actually did say one funny line,
Speaker 1: which was because he's not alive, that's when I wrote
Speaker 1: down sex, the first son of sex. And then he's
Speaker 1: still tongue kissed her after hearing about Ping Ping. When
Speaker 1: you hear about ping pain, like my penguin that's been
Speaker 1: on my shoulder, that's when you travel with. Then that's
Speaker 1: where you go, you know what, maybe I will let
Speaker 1: you see the door. And instead he was like I
Speaker 1: am going to try and dry hump you right here,
Speaker 1: like well, because he also figures if she's lonely enough
Speaker 1: to travel with a dead penguin, that she's definitely going
Speaker 1: to be interested in him, and like everything's open, nothing's
Speaker 1: off limits, like she's down for back door and that's
Speaker 1: let's dud. There's no part that is off ping paincad
Speaker 1: get involved, pain paink W should fully get involved. So
Speaker 1: then Crystal says, I felt a really challenge to pass
Speaker 1: a large group date, Like I just feel like the
Speaker 1: other girls don't have a sense of self identity. Like
Speaker 1: everything she said would make I would not want to
Speaker 1: take the bait, but I would still take the bait
Speaker 1: I want. I would be hard not to because she's
Speaker 1: so um like demeaning to everybody else, like she thinks
Speaker 1: like you try not like good. You have a nice
Speaker 1: body and you live in San Diego. It's good for you.
Speaker 1: And so Tia and Caroline just start to be like,
Speaker 1: shut the funk up. I love Tia. At first, I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, you know they wanted to give you
Speaker 1: like a substitute Raven, but this is Clayven. It's Tia. Like,
Speaker 1: but I have to say it. She's fun and she's cool,
Speaker 1: and she's cute. She's cute, she's cool and she's a
Speaker 1: real lady. And then um, she goes every time she
Speaker 1: was talking about Crystal, every time her mouth opens, my
Speaker 1: face goes. What I was like, that's right, and then
Speaker 1: Crystal goes, I'm a mix of emotions. I gotta target
Speaker 1: on my back for having my one on once so early.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, that's not why, because you're full second
Speaker 1: you mean, and that's why there's a target. Becca got
Speaker 1: all those lue Buchan and those she didn't have a
Speaker 1: target on her bathe her. Nobody even knows that she's
Speaker 1: part of the show. She literally disappeared, and then um,
Speaker 1: somebody says, where the funk is she now? And then
Speaker 1: somebody said kissing his asked was that about Ari? I
Speaker 1: think it was. I think because she had gone off
Speaker 1: to Oh she pulled him aside, and then she says
Speaker 1: to him people feel threatened. I really, I just feel
Speaker 1: like I'm coming from a place of love and like
Speaker 1: I just feel like people feel so hurt that people
Speaker 1: just judge me. And then and then Tia came up
Speaker 1: and she goes, will you ask for him, and then
Speaker 1: he was like, can I have a minute, and then
Speaker 1: he's like, she goes, I'm so above this and I'm
Speaker 1: so beyond this, and it was just like, I she's
Speaker 1: so condescending, like you're not above it, you're on the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: like you're you're you're not above it, you're exactly at it,
Speaker 1: Like you're at that same level. Well you're you're not
Speaker 1: only you're not above that, you were like one of
Speaker 1: the largest villains they've ever had. I hate her more
Speaker 1: than I hated Olivia. With her mouth open, I was
Speaker 1: about to say that she reminded me of Olivia and
Speaker 1: we all thought the mom was going to be Olivia,
Speaker 1: but it's Crystal. Yeah. Um. So then Tia and Caroline,
Speaker 1: so she went tattled ri t t and Caroline come
Speaker 1: over and was like, did you spend your time talking
Speaker 1: to him about us? And and can you believe it?
Speaker 1: That is where we got caught off. I actually did
Speaker 1: a tweet of the week, but I'm thinking I'm may
Speaker 1: save the tweets because there was a lot of funny
Speaker 1: ones and you can keep tweeting at me all week
Speaker 1: and I will do them live at sketch Fest this weekend.
Speaker 1: I will read them and we will pick the one
Speaker 1: from this week at our marine A R D E
Speaker 1: N M y R I N hashtag w y A
Speaker 1: t R and we will pick the live tweet of
Speaker 1: the week on stage at Cobb's Comedy Club. And oh
Speaker 1: my god, there was so many funny you guys were
Speaker 1: on fire. Please like us on iTunes and uh on Facebook.
Speaker 1: We had a lot of really great comments. And I
Speaker 1: don't know if you were called, but I got called.
Speaker 1: That was a political call, a political podcast, and the
Speaker 1: host sounded like hyena that had been um getting dunked
Speaker 1: in scalding lava. And I think my favorite uh ituned
Speaker 1: review was this week. By the way I've been, I've
Speaker 1: done like two hours of sleeping, like three days. That's
Speaker 1: where I sound like a lunatic. Five stars. Highly recommend
Speaker 1: Noel Rose Rights one of the best political hyena in law,
Speaker 1: one of the best political hyena in lava podcasts out there.
Speaker 1: I like that it's only one of the best. I
Speaker 1: like that there's more happening out there. Um. We also
Speaker 1: got another call. We got another one my Oasis on
Speaker 1: Grief Island. Five stars from wing Cupid. Unfortunately, I've been
Speaker 1: on Grief Island. I'm so sorry, girl, what a way
Speaker 1: to start. But this podcast has been my oasis every week.
Speaker 1: I've been listening every day since day one. Thank you
Speaker 1: and funny enough, this was my first season of watching
Speaker 1: The Bachelor as well. Oh that was the I wish
Speaker 1: you've been listening since dayble, but you never watched the show.
Speaker 1: I don't know how you just watched the show without
Speaker 1: the relief of this podcast. Never stop and Arden. I'm
Speaker 1: a fan of the dentist X ray blanket too. Again
Speaker 1: if you get the way to blanket. I have a
Speaker 1: twenty five pounder. Apparently you're supposed to get one that's
Speaker 1: ten percent of your body weight, and so I'm trying
Speaker 1: to bulk up two fifty pounds to balance out my
Speaker 1: my my blanket. And I will just read. We got
Speaker 1: some cool emails. Let's see, I'll read one of the emails.
Speaker 1: Man okay Rose podcast at gmail dot com. You can
Speaker 1: email us, and here is some of the emails. It's coming.
Speaker 1: I don't want to brag, but I have really slow
Speaker 1: hotel internet. Um oh okay. Laura Nickerson sent us a
Speaker 1: link to the air streams uh caravan outpost. It's in Oha.
Speaker 1: Thank you for sending us that we have another person.
Speaker 1: Christy Bone sent us the caravans. I've stayed at the
Speaker 1: Caravan Post before, and it's so cool. It's an OHI
Speaker 1: and I would love to go to a live show
Speaker 1: hosted there bonus that OHI. Humane Society is literally right
Speaker 1: down the street. I'm just hoping they hose down the
Speaker 1: caravans after ari Ari dry humped everyone. Thanks for doing
Speaker 1: the lord's work, Christie. Well, thank you for emailing us guys.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry it was so rushed and abbreviated today, but
Speaker 1: I actually had to go earn a living. I know
Speaker 1: Paget isn't the only one. I have to go buy
Speaker 1: my own one piece bathing suits and songs much in
Speaker 1: a while. But I will be with my queen this
Speaker 1: weekend it sketch Fest and there will be a special
Speaker 1: podcast up next week. Okay, bye, Oh my god? Do
Speaker 1: I now have to figure out how to play the
Speaker 1: song out? Am I gonna be alone in a hotel
Speaker 1: right now? Playing Yes I Am? This is what's happening.
Speaker 1: This is happening alone in Atlanta? Oh Atlanta. Oh you
Speaker 1: going out tonight Atlanta? Well, maybe there's something new in
Speaker 1: the A t L. Yeah, that's right, you except this
Speaker 1: bones type girl. I like your card again, Twitter, I'm
Speaker 1: seventy eight years old and rumor has it you're almost eighteen.
Speaker 1: I'm a realtor, slash car enthusiast. Water's neat. I like that. Bye,
Speaker 1: now leaving nurtice dot com