Speaker 1: You're listening to a new segment of Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 2: Call it Couple's Counseling with Chelsea, where we do couple's
Speaker 2: counseling on all sorts of variations of friends, lovers, families.
Speaker 2: I'm here with my friends Jenny Mullen and Jason Biggs,
Speaker 2: and we are going to do.
Speaker 1: Some couples counseling.
Speaker 2: Welcome to my office, Welcome to Chelsea's Couple's Counseling.
Speaker 1: Or where's the beef? Where's your beef with Chelsea? Where's
Speaker 1: Chelsea's beef with you?
Speaker 2: I don't know what we're calling the segment yet, but
Speaker 2: these are many episodes, and I'm very delighted to say
Speaker 2: with two of my very old friends, Jason Biggs and
Speaker 2: his wife Jenny, which name are we using these days?
Speaker 1: Mullin Biggs Handler.
Speaker 2: Okay, Jenny and Jason if you're familiar with them online.
Speaker 2: Jenny is one hot mess and she loves loves to
Speaker 2: get into it with her husband, who also really loves
Speaker 2: to get into it with his wife.
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys, are I would call you codependent fighters?
Speaker 1: A real couple therapists would say that too.
Speaker 2: Yep, that you're codependent, very and does that have anything
Speaker 2: to do with your disagreements?
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, let's start with one.
Speaker 2: This is one that I actually I was As I
Speaker 2: was reading this, I thought, wow, this sounds a lot
Speaker 2: like me. So maybe I should be love making to
Speaker 2: Jason every night. Jason, you sleep with a lot of pillows, right,
Speaker 2: and you use pillows between your legs like you're like
Speaker 2: a pregnant woman.
Speaker 1: I do, yeah, and you And how many pillows does
Speaker 1: that leave you with? Jenny? A single pillow? Okay, and
Speaker 1: how many pillows are in the bed total?
Speaker 3: Well, twenty six. I can actually count this up for
Speaker 3: real and give you a real answer here. So I
Speaker 3: have three pillows that are propped up that my legs
Speaker 3: go on like that.
Speaker 1: It's because are you do you have a back issue.
Speaker 3: Or any these lower backs? So this kind of gets
Speaker 3: me in a nice position, you know, like in the.
Speaker 4: Movies the eighties where somebody's like in a full body
Speaker 4: cast and.
Speaker 3: Yeah, in the hospital. Tell you what if, Jason, if
Speaker 3: I could mount a like a wire from the ceiling,
Speaker 3: like a gurney type situation to put my strap my
Speaker 3: feet into.
Speaker 1: To alleviate the lower back, I would need to be.
Speaker 3: Up to here's the other. Yes, exactly, So I have
Speaker 3: those taking care of my legs, my lower back. I
Speaker 3: also have shoulder issues, so so on either side of
Speaker 3: my arms, I have both arms.
Speaker 2: Do you have shoulder issues for eating so much pussy?
Speaker 3: It's that's my doctor says, that's one reason of many.
Speaker 3: Also sucking a lot of dicky.
Speaker 1: So how's that? How does that work on your shoulders?
Speaker 1: Because on your face dick today?
Speaker 3: But I have so two arm pillows and then I've
Speaker 3: got two pillows.
Speaker 1: Behind, like an airplane pillow.
Speaker 3: Like no, but I've I've I've used an airplane pillow
Speaker 3: in bed before sometimes, but ultimately I abandoned that idea.
Speaker 3: I just go with two. But like I have, one
Speaker 3: of the pillows is like kind of a soft down.
Speaker 1: To those penis, like one of those airplanes.
Speaker 3: Props, dick, like a cockering cockering, and the and the
Speaker 3: second pillow is a temper pedic pillow. It's a whole situation.
Speaker 1: This sounds a lot like my situation.
Speaker 3: It's yeah, and that's the only him.
Speaker 1: Well, well, how do you have sex?
Speaker 2: Me?
Speaker 1: No, I don't. That's the thing. It's like a chastity wall.
Speaker 1: So how do you if you are in the mood.
Speaker 1: Are you in the mood?
Speaker 4: Well, I don't have sex with him at night. Oh,
Speaker 4: there's no way in it's a fortress.
Speaker 3: Because well but hold on, you're gonna put it. You're
Speaker 3: gonna point fingers at the pillows. For the reason that
Speaker 3: we're not having night sex, it's also the fact night sex.
Speaker 3: It's also the fact that night sweats and night sex.
Speaker 3: It's the fact that you fall asleep at seven pm,
Speaker 3: like after the kids got like or eight pm when
Speaker 3: the kids die first.
Speaker 1: All, I also love that bad time for myself.
Speaker 3: Well, by the way, me too, I'm not mad at this.
Speaker 3: Just don't put false don't make false accusations as to
Speaker 3: why we're not having night sex. We are both in
Speaker 3: agreement that after any.
Speaker 4: Person who wanted to have sex with you have sex
Speaker 4: with you when you're in that contraption.
Speaker 2: Well you could, if you, Jenny in his defense, if
Speaker 2: you really wanted to get after that body, you would
Speaker 2: make your way through those pillows.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you guys had just started dating and he
Speaker 1: was pulling that kind of janery, you would figure out
Speaker 1: a way around it. You would get in there and
Speaker 1: be like, I want to wake you up with another
Speaker 1: blow job love my life.
Speaker 3: You're right, soul made interesting fact. Jenny puts me to
Speaker 3: sleep with her blow jobs.
Speaker 1: That's how I love him to sleep.
Speaker 2: Yes, nice before a climax, before you even climax.
Speaker 3: Just everything falls asleep. She just puts her lips around
Speaker 3: my penis. I fall asleep first, then my penis falls asleep,
Speaker 3: and then I don't know. I wake up and Jenny's
Speaker 3: there somewhere underneath the pillow, sleeping, sleeping. Uh no, I
Speaker 3: it's a conversation that could happen. You're wearing the next pillow.
Speaker 2: Let's work on a plane, Jason, when you need all
Speaker 2: of these accouterments.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a whole situation.
Speaker 1: What do you do on a plane? Do you travel
Speaker 1: with a pillow?
Speaker 3: I will often do the neck pillow, even if I'm
Speaker 3: flying flat. Neck pillow helps, But you know, I generally
Speaker 3: ask for an extra pillow or I'm using a jacket.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's a thing.
Speaker 1: And did this start like what age? When you started?
Speaker 4: It was definitely when I introduced the pregnancy pillow Chang's Life.
Speaker 1: Oh that was I want one of those. I want
Speaker 1: one of those.
Speaker 3: The pregnancy pillow was incredible because it's interesting. So I
Speaker 3: start my night with arms propped up, legs propped.
Speaker 2: Up, like a paralyzed person or someone who's recovering from
Speaker 2: a massive injury.
Speaker 3: A massive whole body cast a motorcycle accident. Yes, in
Speaker 3: an eighties movie, in an eighties comedy, in an eighties comedy.
Speaker 1: Everything, do you have a straight jacket at the house?
Speaker 3: Only my eyes are showing and a hole for my
Speaker 3: penis so she can put me to bed. But eventually,
Speaker 3: at some point in the night I want to sleep
Speaker 3: on my side. It's very strange.
Speaker 1: I understand this. I'm just about to ask you what happened.
Speaker 3: So at some point in the night, and by the way,
Speaker 3: this is when I'm in that position, I'm above there's
Speaker 3: no nothing covering me, So I have the air on
Speaker 3: as low as I can get it, because she's wants
Speaker 3: it on one hundred degrees and I want it on
Speaker 3: fifty degrees, and so we try to compromise. But generally
Speaker 3: that involves me being very hot at night and having
Speaker 3: to sleep above the covers. At around above ground it's
Speaker 3: an above ground pool, and Jenny's swimming in the deep
Speaker 3: end of a nice inground beauty. At a certain point,
Speaker 3: I do get a little chilly. Finally, when I can
Speaker 3: she falls asleep. I'll turn the air down, I relax.
Speaker 3: Whatever my body cools down, I will need to go
Speaker 3: under the covers. But here's the move. I go on
Speaker 3: my side and one leg goes under the covers. This
Speaker 3: leg comes above the covers, so the covers are coming
Speaker 3: between my legs with the pillows, the aforementioned pillows that
Speaker 3: were form my legs here and then I'm on my
Speaker 3: side here one of my arm pillows comes over. Because
Speaker 3: if I sleep like this, my shoulders like off the
Speaker 3: cocked right. So I'm like this, it's a good thing
Speaker 3: you're taping this episode.
Speaker 1: It's just amazing that you're not Jewish. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean?
Speaker 2: It is amazing, Okay, Because so when I'm skiing, I
Speaker 2: always have back pain when I ski.
Speaker 1: So when I'm skiing, I sleep.
Speaker 2: With my legs up on a pillow because I always
Speaker 2: want my knee to like de swell from the night.
Speaker 1: And then when I turn over, it's the same thing.
Speaker 2: And what I really I put the pillows in between
Speaker 2: my legs and I turn over and I have one
Speaker 2: leg up. But what I realized was when you're on
Speaker 2: your side like that. That's not helpful for your back.
Speaker 2: That can irritate your back even more so I stop
Speaker 2: doing that now. I only have pillows only when I'm
Speaker 2: on my back.
Speaker 1: When I turn over it's flat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but so your knees are hitting.
Speaker 1: Well, No, I put one knee like I do, like a.
Speaker 3: Little like at this, like a this.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, especially a hot position.
Speaker 1: No, I think it could be a hot position for
Speaker 1: you as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean maybe. Yeah. It's not going to change
Speaker 3: our sex life, but it could be fun to just
Speaker 3: do it. But you don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you guys. What's curious to me is.
Speaker 2: If you guys aren't having sex at night, when are
Speaker 2: you having sex?
Speaker 3: And you're saying sex for us generally needs to be
Speaker 3: a conversation and a plan. It's generally not spontaneous. Occasionally
Speaker 3: it is what about where the kids go to see
Speaker 3: And it usually takes a few days of talking about
Speaker 3: it for it to happen. By the way, it's not
Speaker 3: like it's not like, hey, babe, should we you know,
Speaker 3: what are you doing in an hour? Are you freeing that?
Speaker 3: It's like who wha? It is not like we need
Speaker 3: to do it on plan for it on Friday's out
Speaker 3: of the shower with a direction. Yeah, and I'll be like, baby,
Speaker 3: you know what do you think She's like, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: And then that so that's so that's Tuesday. She's like,
Speaker 3: I can't. I'm not You're just gonna whip this out.
Speaker 3: I'm just not. I have to go to a thing
Speaker 3: in two hours. I'm like, so two hours. No, it's
Speaker 3: just I can't. I'm not in the okay. And then
Speaker 3: but don't act like you always want to have sex. No,
Speaker 3: but then hold on, baby, I'm not done. And then
Speaker 3: that's Tuesday Wednesday. She's like, remember yesterday when you, uh, well,
Speaker 3: I've got you know, do you want to I'm like,
Speaker 3: I sorry, I have to take a ship. Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3: So then I go ship and then you know that,
Speaker 3: and then that day is done. Well.
Speaker 4: The worst is when like will have sex and then
Speaker 4: he's like, I need a poop, and I'm like, you
Speaker 4: were holding poop in the whole time you're having sex.
Speaker 3: Just maybe if he's gonna stick your thumb up my
Speaker 3: asshole while we were having sex, you know that?
Speaker 1: You know that makes sure? Bathroom.
Speaker 2: I don't know if anyone here is done anal, but
Speaker 2: if you have, you understand that you get diarrhea for
Speaker 2: about three days afterward.
Speaker 1: I heard that from a very close friend. Really wait,
Speaker 1: I never get diarrhea.
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, it's better than a you have it,
Speaker 3: it's better than a collect Maybe.
Speaker 1: You're doing.
Speaker 4: My friend, ask your friends.
Speaker 3: Who are you having anal sex with?
Speaker 1: I mean, when I've had anal sucks.
Speaker 2: Okay, so there's no hand holding in bed, there's nothing
Speaker 2: like that. You guys are both going to your separate
Speaker 2: camps essentially every night when you go to bed, right, And.
Speaker 1: Do you ever go to bed angry?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, more than you go to be like with
Speaker 2: the ratio of like when you're having an issue, do
Speaker 2: you normally resolve it or do you go to bed angry? Like?
Speaker 1: Which which one is? We will go to.
Speaker 4: Bed sometimes like exhausted by each other.
Speaker 1: Do you ever sleep in separate rooms? No?
Speaker 4: No, you like, well, I mean if I fall asleep
Speaker 4: in Sid's bed or something like that, But I don't think.
Speaker 3: We're ever like I'm going to another she sleeps.
Speaker 1: With and she sleeps with.
Speaker 2: Listen, I had a friend, I have a friend. She'll
Speaker 2: go She'll remain nameless. Who slept with her daughter and
Speaker 2: her husband in their bed. They had their daughter until
Speaker 2: she was sixteen years old, and they're divorced.
Speaker 1: So that doesn't insane at all.
Speaker 2: They did not have sex for twelve years a couple
Speaker 2: that was staying together, that was married, Yes, tell.
Speaker 3: See, but again this hold on. I just go back
Speaker 3: to the sex part of this because nighttime, I like,
Speaker 3: I hear that and I don't go, well, their sex
Speaker 3: life is ruined because maybe it's because we don't have
Speaker 3: nine to fives, it's different, but like.
Speaker 4: We'll like it'll be like it's more often like it's
Speaker 4: daylight where like in the in the in the afternoon, yea.
Speaker 3: In the afternoon, you know, she's home, I'm home, Yeah,
Speaker 3: and nanny took the kids somewhere and it's like, hey,
Speaker 3: you know, and it finally aligned. Yeah, I don't have
Speaker 3: to shop and she's not doing something, and then we'll
Speaker 3: like do it. We're just like worked over.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And by the time, yeah, I understand because when
Speaker 2: you know, I'm always in the beginning of relationships now,
Speaker 2: like so it's always sex because I don't see them
Speaker 2: very often, so when I see them, it's not stop sex.
Speaker 1: And I want to night time. I want to fuck
Speaker 1: it out that way, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I don't want it to get to a point where
Speaker 2: I'm like, not tonight, I'm too tired. I want to
Speaker 2: be like it's to be a sexathon and then you
Speaker 2: leave and I don't see you.
Speaker 1: For two to two weeks to two months.
Speaker 4: You know, when you've been in relationships, like do you
Speaker 4: guys ever, Like does the sex ever migrate towards the day?
Speaker 2: Absolutely? Day, night, sex on morning, all time. They're there
Speaker 2: to fuck me, Like that's what we're doing.
Speaker 3: The priority is sex for us. It's a bonus.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you have a family.
Speaker 3: It's just like yeah, okay, well too many balls in
Speaker 3: the air, not enough balls in her mouth?
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, thank you for sharing your intimacy with us
Speaker 2: and our listeners.
Speaker 1: You're welcome. That turned everybody on. Yes, okay.
Speaker 2: So you can check out Jenny mull and substack The
Speaker 2: Best Friend Experience.
Speaker 1: And her new side hustle The Shirts Off My Back,
Speaker 1: where you can buy fabulous vintage clothes.
Speaker 2: And you can also check out Jenny and Jason and
Speaker 2: co hosting Dinner in a Movie on TBS, premiering tomorrow
Speaker 2: June first,