Speaker 1: In my last relationship, and I talked about this last
Speaker 1: week too, Like I mentioned open, this is before we
Speaker 1: did this? Was this before we did the recording? I
Speaker 1: feel like it was you had his email and I
Speaker 1: saw he was still communicating with some bitches that I
Speaker 1: had actually forbid him. Like I would never like say
Speaker 1: you can't be friends with these people, but these particular
Speaker 1: two people, like they've vandalized ship, They've done dumb ship.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, and once we start elevating and these
Speaker 1: people are still in your life, like they see red
Speaker 1: when they don't get their fucking weight. So I don't
Speaker 1: ever want that type of person around me man or woman,
Speaker 1: And you should feel the same way. But he was
Speaker 1: still communicating with them, So I'm like, listen, you want
Speaker 1: an open relationship, Like that's how I started the conversation,
Speaker 1: Like do you? So, then that way you won't feel
Speaker 1: like you're having a sneak. You won't have to do
Speaker 1: this via email. You could just text them or call
Speaker 1: them on the phone in front of me if you
Speaker 1: wanted to, just as long as you know I'm on
Speaker 1: the same type of time. But that's not something that
Speaker 1: and maybe this is, uh, this is would you say
Speaker 1: that an open relationship, you see that more in the
Speaker 1: white community as opposed to black Like, how many people,
Speaker 1: how many black people beyond an open relationship? What the
Speaker 1: guy and girlfriend relationship? Big big lariously. I don't know.
Speaker 1: We have a ton of couples and open relationships. But
Speaker 1: I've met mostly white people. Yeah, mostly white people, like
Speaker 1: usually weird white people. But are they still together? I
Speaker 1: feel like this, this would be the um case study.
Speaker 1: Most of them are married, or that's what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: I feel like relationships like that may last longer because
Speaker 1: what do you have? You have nothing to hide. I
Speaker 1: think with regard to that, it starts that way if
Speaker 1: that any point later in the relationship you introduce it,
Speaker 1: not unless you're just very open with everything else like that.
Speaker 1: That was a conversation in my last relation because he
Speaker 1: he was like, you know, before we break up, maybe
Speaker 1: we should try and open relation. I'm like, no, because
Speaker 1: when we first met, you were doing you and I
Speaker 1: was doing me this much waiting on you, so you
Speaker 1: no longer have that opportunity. I would do something like
Speaker 1: that with a new person, where we set those ground
Speaker 1: rules one yeah, like that, I can't I can't do
Speaker 1: that because you've lost that grace. And then I would
Speaker 1: say to you, as you meet new people and men especially,
Speaker 1: it's like, maybe don't reveal everything, but like talk about
Speaker 1: that last relationship and how like this became a problem
Speaker 1: and like we maybe should have started at the beginning
Speaker 1: and then maybe it could have seen how it went
Speaker 1: versus like you literally see him still sneaking and you're like, yo,
Speaker 1: so do you want to open relationship for I can't
Speaker 1: see you like yes, like what the fun? And then
Speaker 1: just see his reaction too, because it's like you'll see
Speaker 1: like he'll either he'll either get insecure and be like
Speaker 1: want to protect his side, bitches, or he'll be like
Speaker 1: and not want you to do it, or he'll be like, hey,
Speaker 1: all right, I got three other people I'm already talking to,
Speaker 1: Like go ahead, you can talk to people and then
Speaker 1: we can see where this goes. Like but not to
Speaker 1: just but like as far as like what happens long term,
Speaker 1: it's like I haven't really been able to follow up
Speaker 1: like with people that I met like online or like
Speaker 1: that I talked to you that we're in open relationships.
Speaker 1: But it's like oftentimes it just seems like if it
Speaker 1: started that way, it's better and it has a long
Speaker 1: term potential versus like whenever it gets introduced later as
Speaker 1: a ditch effort to save the relationship. No, it's like
Speaker 1: having a kid to save your marriage. It's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's too your it's too gone, like you guys know,
Speaker 1: because I think it's another misconception, or maybe I said
Speaker 1: that before, but it's like people don't think that individuals
Speaker 1: and open relationships are committed to one another. Like y'all committed,
Speaker 1: y'all committed to whatever it is together, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: and yeah, that's that's an importance, And it just seems
Speaker 1: like a stronger a stronger relationship as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 1: That's the projection. That's the projection where they project in
Speaker 1: their ego what they would think. Oh, if I'm in
Speaker 1: that situation, then we're not committed to each other. Because
Speaker 1: my version of commitment is you do exactly what the
Speaker 1: funk I want you to do whenever the funk I
Speaker 1: want you to do it. That's insecurity. That's ego projecting.
Speaker 1: That should happen to me all the time. It literally
Speaker 1: it would hurt. It would hurt my heart though, because
Speaker 1: people would be coming at me straight up, don't even
Speaker 1: know me. They're like, and then they just straight up
Speaker 1: killing me, just like you are this, you are that,
Speaker 1: you need Jesus, you need this, you need that. You
Speaker 1: don't know it's this child. They're in fake ass monogamous
Speaker 1: relationships where where he's sucking a bunch of business and
Speaker 1: then one day you like, funk that I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: a nigger, Like that's just what happens, and it's just
Speaker 1: is And here's a lot to tell your stad was
Speaker 1: all about it. Yeah you okay. So I was saying
Speaker 1: something earlier and she just I think I got the
Speaker 1: indicator that she disagreed. I was talking about the long
Speaker 1: term thing, like if you start with it, it's good.
Speaker 1: If you try to introduce it later, it's bad. She
Speaker 1: had to rebuttal to that. I think. I'm just thinking
Speaker 1: about the people that we do know, and I don't
Speaker 1: think they I don't think any of them started out
Speaker 1: in an open relationship, like we're the only ones I
Speaker 1: know that have started that, But they did start with
Speaker 1: open communication and openness, so like they may not have
Speaker 1: been actively having sets with other people, but they were
Speaker 1: able to openly communicate about things that they wanted and
Speaker 1: what they just anything communication wise, if you're able to
Speaker 1: communicate with and be honest with your partner, then I
Speaker 1: feel like it's okay to introduced this idea, like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, we're both always horny, maybe we should other people?
Speaker 1: What do you think, you know, or whatever it might be.
Speaker 1: I think if you're able to openly communicate with your partner,
Speaker 1: then I don't think there'd be anything wrong about bringing
Speaker 1: up this idea. Yeah, that's probably a projection of mine too,
Speaker 1: because based on based on my experience with having its
Speaker 1: start and then it be you know, successful, So like
Speaker 1: that's probably just that's that's my subjective experience. I mean,
Speaker 1: like we were openly communicating. We weren't in an open
Speaker 1: relationship when we started dating. Was it was unspoken