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Speaker 1: All from Jonathan. Okay, Hello, Oh my goodness. I did

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Speaker 1: not expect to get out. How are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm doing good. What's your name?

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Speaker 3: John?

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Speaker 1: Jonathan?

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Speaker 2: Jonathan. Have have we ever spoken before? Jonathan?

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Speaker 3: No? We have not.

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Speaker 2: Well, Jonathan, what's up?

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Speaker 3: Man?

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Speaker 2: How can I get you today? What's what's uh? What's

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Speaker 2: what's what's happening?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's Saturday. I'm just hanging around my house here.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about alcohol.

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Speaker 2: Go go ahead, man.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very nerve wrecking to be on the call.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, so I think I texted you a while

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Speaker 1: ago talking about like alcohol consumption. So I think I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna spill my brain now. So it's something that's

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Speaker 1: kind of so. I've been drinking age for about seven

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Speaker 1: eight years. You know, I never really ran before the

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Speaker 1: age of twenty one, you know, like I know people

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Speaker 1: did it in high school and everything, but I kind

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Speaker 1: of had the upbringing where I didn't really know people

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Speaker 1: were actually doing that. So the first few times I

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Speaker 1: did actually drink, you know, I got super like nervous.

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Speaker 1: But eventually I kind of start using it as like

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Speaker 1: an escape mechanism, you know what I mean, Like, oh,

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Speaker 1: like because before if I got like super if I

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Speaker 1: would get super stressed, for example, I was pretty good

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Speaker 1: at like just dealing with it and internally. But I

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Speaker 1: think what I noticed over the years is I kind

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Speaker 1: of used it as a stress response. I know that's

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Speaker 1: like not the best thing to do, but it's hard

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Speaker 1: not to. I think, like I'm not at the point

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Speaker 1: of getting sick or anything or like being an alcoholic,

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Speaker 1: so part of it is just like it's not that bad.

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Speaker 1: I yeah, but you know what I mean, you don't

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Speaker 1: have to go to AA meetings. But I think there

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Speaker 1: are like you know, like if I'm like way stressed out,

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Speaker 1: it's an option, where like I think part of it

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Speaker 1: might be like it wasn't an option before, so because

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Speaker 1: it's like a very's a quick and easy way to

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Speaker 1: get something off your plate and kind of like get

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Speaker 1: out of your get out of your head for a bit.

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Speaker 1: So I think that is so I know that sounds

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Speaker 1: really standard and everything, but I think the main thing

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Speaker 1: about it was it feels like I'm going down to

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Speaker 1: pass and like I spent kind of half today kind

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Speaker 1: of self talking to myself, like, oh, because I have

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Speaker 1: no alcohol in the house right now, and whenever I

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Speaker 1: have no alcohol in the house, I kind of think,

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Speaker 1: all right, it's up to you to not given to

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Speaker 1: buy more or you know what I mean, because if

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Speaker 1: I do have it in the house, I just just

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Speaker 1: keep drinking it and not really be self aware about like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you have worked tomorrow, you probably should calm down.

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Speaker 2: You know, what are what are some of your triggers

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Speaker 2: to drink alcohol? What are some things you notice are

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Speaker 2: going on before you drink?

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Speaker 1: I would say boredom is a big one, or like

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Speaker 1: because I don't have a lot of friends, you know,

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Speaker 1: so boredom or oh I'm kind of lonely, let me

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Speaker 1: just do this, so like get out of my own

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Speaker 1: head about it. Yeah, So I would say those two things,

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Speaker 1: and I know, like like saying that like stress response,

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Speaker 1: like if there's like a stressful situation. I also do

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Speaker 1: some work. That's not really as much. It's more boredom.

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Speaker 1: I would say, like I've actually have work I have

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Speaker 1: to do. That's a good distraction, which is kind of weird.

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Speaker 1: It's more like on weekend, I don't have anything to do.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, how am I gonna spend you know, It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I have limited free time?

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Speaker 2: What's that? What's that. I think I've said it before.

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Speaker 2: What's that phrase, idle hands belonged to the devil? It's true?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I definitely.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I you know, I'll talk to you about

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Speaker 2: this for a little bit. I don't want to talk

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Speaker 2: too much, only because I'm not a a.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's a well trodden topic, addiction. But I

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Speaker 2: guess he's like, yeah, yeah, I've been there before, where

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Speaker 2: like you're just very lonely and so you have nothing

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Speaker 2: to do, so why not just drink? Damn it. I

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Speaker 2: had a thought in my head that I that I

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Speaker 2: fucked up. All right, what's stopping you from from London

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Speaker 2: to go to AA because I feel like it's a

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Speaker 2: good place for you to find a community and just

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Speaker 2: like help, you know, find other people who uh deal

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Speaker 2: with the same issue.

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Speaker 4: That's a good question.

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Speaker 1: Is that bad?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Maybe? I guess maybe in my mind I'm thinking like

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Speaker 1: it has to act like I have to get fired.

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Speaker 1: I have to like, you know, get fired from my

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Speaker 1: job because of alcohol.

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Speaker 2: Well, question of well, I don't like it's a question

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Speaker 2: of whether or not it's that bad. It's really just

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Speaker 2: a question of do you notice that it's a problem

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Speaker 2: in your life, like, is is your Is it something

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Speaker 2: you're worried about? It's something that's bothering you?

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Speaker 1: And if it is, yeah, no it is bothering me,

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Speaker 1: it's really you.

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Speaker 2: Then it's something. If it's bothering you, then it's something

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Speaker 2: that I think is worth you know, deal with.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's interesting, I guess, like because in my mind

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking, like, it's not that bad yet, so I

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Speaker 1: would be like wasting resources, you know what I mean

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Speaker 1: if I actually did do that.

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Speaker 2: No, you know, I don't think you're wasting resources. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because because I guess.

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Speaker 3: You just.

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Speaker 2: I mean bad or not bad. It's like it's something

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Speaker 2: that you're trying to stop doing. And if it's something

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Speaker 2: you're trying to stop doing, then I think it's important

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Speaker 2: to look at the different triggers for it, right, like boredom,

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Speaker 2: loneliness and go, Okay, how can I attack my boredom

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Speaker 2: and my loneliness in such a way that gets me

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Speaker 2: to stop drinking?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 2: I mean I feel you, man, I have the same

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Speaker 2: thing when it comes to eating or getting higher or

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Speaker 2: a lot of these other things. And it's really hard.

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Speaker 2: I'm I guys, sit here and say it's as easy

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Speaker 2: as fixing your loneliness issue, because it's a hard fucking

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Speaker 2: issue to fix. But I mean I would have you,

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Speaker 2: have you what what sort of steps have you taken

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Speaker 2: to try to you know, rain in your boredom and

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Speaker 2: your loneliness.

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Speaker 1: I guess I just try to keep myself occupied, like

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Speaker 1: with brainless hobby, so I end up like watching a

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Speaker 1: lot of YouTube videos and crap, like play video games.

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Speaker 1: Onliness is something that I haven't actually made very big

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Speaker 1: attempts to like get over. And I think with that,

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Speaker 1: like that, like loneliness, I was not normally during college,

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Speaker 1: for example, because there are things to do in places

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Speaker 1: to meet people. So as an adult, I think I

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Speaker 1: just haven't found like a social group or something to

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Speaker 1: like actually go out and do that. So I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm also getting up in my age, so I

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Speaker 1: would feel kind of weird because I live in a

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Speaker 1: college town, so I would feel a little bit weird

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Speaker 1: trying to go to places. And then there's people who

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Speaker 1: are like eight years younger than me, and here's the

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Speaker 1: weird old coming to try to make friends with you,

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Speaker 1: you know, So I think part of that is like

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Speaker 1: I'm afraid of clean up creepy in that regard, And

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Speaker 1: I know that's like an unreasonable like to say that loud.

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Speaker 1: It sounds ridiculous, you know what I mean. But I

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Speaker 1: think it's an excuse I tell myself for whatever reason.

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Speaker 1: But I think that's like, yeah, I guess maybe it's

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Speaker 1: just a lot of excuses and I'm not trying to

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Speaker 1: have like a whate is me kind of bit. You know,

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Speaker 1: there's that Norm McDonald joke where it's like, oh, you

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Speaker 1: have these bad diseases. My disease is that I drink

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Speaker 1: a lot. I'm an alcoholic, you know. So, so I

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Speaker 1: guess like that goes back to like that oh, it's

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Speaker 1: not a real problem yet kind of thing. But I

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Speaker 1: guess you mentioning, hey, man, you should friend support, I guess.

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Speaker 3: But like.

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Speaker 1: I guess like when you do seek support, maybe it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're you're not bad enough to get support. I guess

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Speaker 1: have you ever felt that before? Yeah, of course, how

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Speaker 1: do you like, how do you get over that?

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Speaker 3: Cause?

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Speaker 2: But yeah, I think that's I think that actually is

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Speaker 2: a common thing. But it's kind of interesting because like

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Speaker 2: you'll go to you know whatever, Maybe you go to

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Speaker 2: a meeting and you're like Okay, well I'm not as

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Speaker 2: bad as these folks, and maybe maybe that's helpful in

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Speaker 2: some way, but I just don't wait. I think the

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Speaker 2: idea of like let me wait until things are horrible

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Speaker 2: to address the issue is it is bad, you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean, like, and as you're aware of it,

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Speaker 2: like I mean, try try your best to to mitigate it.

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Speaker 2: And I just sincerely, man, I wish I could be

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Speaker 2: of more help to you right now. This is a

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Speaker 2: problem I'm having doing this podcast lately. Is like, dude,

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Speaker 2: like deal like making friends as an adult and uh,

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Speaker 2: dealing with loneliness and boredom to not do your negative behaviors.

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Speaker 2: Like I I I fucking don't know, bro, It's it's

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Speaker 2: really hard. It's really goddamn hard.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah it is. It's really hard. But you gotta

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Speaker 2: I don't this. I can't just I can't sit here

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Speaker 2: and lecture you on how to do it because I

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Speaker 2: don't fucking know how. But like it's just it's just

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Speaker 2: what you gotta you gotta do.

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Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, I guess like drawing parallels between like

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Speaker 1: other types of behavior, yeah, you know, it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're not the only one feeling crazy. I guess that's

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Speaker 1: I guess that's.

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Speaker 2: No, you're not dealing. Life is in. Life is crazy.

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Speaker 2: Everyone around you is feeling crazy and it's your I guess.

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Speaker 2: Just like thing you gotta figure out, you know. So yeah, dude,

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Speaker 2: like best of luck, Like whatever it is that you

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Speaker 2: can find that keeps you occupied so that you're not

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Speaker 2: getting drunk all the time, Like never, never give up

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Speaker 2: trying to find it, Like go do eight million different

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Speaker 2: things until you find it. Go take a fucking archery

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Speaker 2: glass and be like, all right instead of getting drunk,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna shoot a bow and arrow, like just anything

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Speaker 2: that you can do to be out of your house

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Speaker 2: around other people and not getting fucked up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, maybe that's maybe, Like because I don't really

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Speaker 1: have a reason to leave my house because I don't

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Speaker 1: do anything right, you know, I don't have any like

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Speaker 1: concrete hobbyists or anything.

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Speaker 2: So right, just leave your house, man, Like I mean,

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Speaker 2: what day?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 2: Today's Saturday?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: What are you doing? What time is it where you are?

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Speaker 1: It's almost six six?

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Speaker 2: What's going on on a Saturday? Dude? Just any I

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Speaker 2: swear to God, just anything, like go for a walk

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Speaker 2: around your neighbor, what city you live in.

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Speaker 1: I live in Columbus, Ohio.

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Speaker 2: You live in Columbus, Ohio. You just had to make

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Speaker 2: this more difficult.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing to do here. Yeah, I guess I

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Speaker 1: could walk outside. And that's actually you could walk outside.

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Speaker 2: You could walk outside. It sounds crazy, no, because here's

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Speaker 2: the thing is, it's it kind of even comes back

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Speaker 2: to this thing of like, well, it's not that bad,

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Speaker 2: so I shouldn't get help, right are you? You're you know,

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Speaker 2: you're like you'll discount just walking outside. You could walk

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Speaker 2: even in goddamn Columbus, Ohio. You could just go take

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Speaker 2: an hour walk around your fucking neighborhood and that's better.

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Speaker 2: Even though it's like, oh, that's not even really anything,

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Speaker 2: it's like it is something. It's better than you're outside

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Speaker 2: of your house, you're looking at stuff you're not getting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know that's good. I guess like with walking,

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Speaker 1: that's like a something. I have tried walking before, and

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Speaker 1: I think, just to put it out loud to make

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Speaker 1: myself more self aware. Sometimes I do something that's healthy

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Speaker 1: and then I'm like, wow, I did something healthy. Time

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Speaker 1: to reward myself, you know, So I guess that's something

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Speaker 1: I have to be self aware about just to say

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Speaker 1: that out loud. Sure, but hey, let's maybe I just

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Speaker 1: gotta do that, you know.

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Speaker 2: Sure, well I guess, like I.

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Speaker 1: Don't know, just talking about it is helpful to be honest,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I dude, I really would just like go

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Speaker 2: make just like sit down on your notesap or something,

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Speaker 2: make a list of like as many things as you

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Speaker 2: can possibly think of. That would be nice and good

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Speaker 2: to do. I don't know, Man, they got they got,

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Speaker 2: they got pickleball leagues in Columbus, Ohio. They have concerts

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Speaker 2: in Columbus, Ohio. They have I know, you can meme

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Speaker 2: on Columbus, Ohio endlessly, but they have, they have stuff,

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Speaker 2: they have people doing things. Just come up with a

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Speaker 2: list of like as many things as possible and just

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Speaker 2: don't stop trying to get out of the house, and

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Speaker 2: then let me know if that works.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, that's a good idea, making a list. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because just saying I need to do something isn't very helpful.

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Speaker 1: I need to get concrete about it. Yeah yeah, m

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Speaker 1: h yeah, good advice.

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Speaker 2: And this is good. This is good that you're at

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Speaker 2: least trying to work on this and instead of I

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Speaker 2: think the Yeah, I just the idea of let me

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Speaker 2: wait until my life is in complete ruins to It's like,

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Speaker 2: look if it's like it's like it's like the gas

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Speaker 2: light is on in your car and you're saying, well,

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Speaker 2: let me wait until the car completely runs out of

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Speaker 2: gas and I'm stranded on the highway for me to

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Speaker 2: you know, fill my tank up with Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that's really good. I think the

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Speaker 1: softwareness is good. I think sometimes they do get into like,

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Speaker 1: oh you know, oh fuck it, I'm gonna die anyway,

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Speaker 1: I might as well just do things. You know, there's

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Speaker 1: a whole there's a whole attitude that sometimes yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I don't have I really like I wish

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Speaker 2: I had. I wish I had an answer for to

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Speaker 2: you for that, because I mean, goddamn, yesterday I was

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Speaker 2: eating I mean, yeah, dude, I really wish i'd answer

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Speaker 2: this because goddamn, like yesterday, I'm eating a whole pizza

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Speaker 2: and going crazy because I'm like, yeah, the same thing

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Speaker 2: you're talking about, like why does anything matter? I'm getting

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Speaker 2: existential about things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I.

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Speaker 2: Like why I should you give a ship about not

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Speaker 2: getting drunk and why should you try to do things

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Speaker 2: with your life.

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah, but like that does happen?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean yes, but you have like it's it's

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Speaker 2: your I guess it's your like responsibility as a human

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Speaker 2: being to like come up with your own answer to

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Speaker 2: that question.

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Speaker 1: That's true. Yeah, yeah, And if.

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Speaker 2: You think hard enough about it, as I'm in this

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Speaker 2: moment optimistic for you, you'll come up with something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah, I think she's optimism.

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Speaker 2: Even I'm optimistic for you, even though you live in Columbus, Ohio.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your what's your name again, Jonathan? Jonathan? Is

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Speaker 2: is there anything else you want to say about any

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Speaker 2: of this or say at all before it before we go?

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Speaker 1: Thank you for doing the show. Seriously, A lot of

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Speaker 1: people are big fans.

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Speaker 2: Thanks ma.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna come to your life show eventually, but seriously,

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Speaker 1: thank you for doing the show. It's a great comfort.

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Speaker 1: Thanks man, and thanks for taking the call. I really

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Speaker 1: did not expect you.

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Speaker 2: To pick up go join a fucking laser tag. I

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Speaker 2: bet they have. I bet there's a laser I'm serious,

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Speaker 2: I bet there's a Laser Tag league like dumb shit

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Speaker 2: like dude, I'm talking like dumb ass ship where You're like,

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Speaker 2: there's no way something like that exists, and then you

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Speaker 2: go online and it exists. Like, go join a fucking

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Speaker 2: laser tag league in Columbus, Ohio. Somebody listening to this

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Speaker 2: podcast right now is in a laser tag league in Columbus, Ohio,

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Speaker 2: or knows somebody in a laser tag league. So I

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Speaker 2: bet that exists. I swap. Please go on Google and

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Speaker 2: search for laser tag League Columbus. Just like dumb fucking shit,

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Speaker 2: just anything, you know, just anything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, no, okay, I think I'll take

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Speaker 1: a look into that. Oh man, cool. Well, thank you

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Speaker 1: so much, Lyle.

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Speaker 2: Take care of jo and good luck, good luck, Thank

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Speaker 2: you so much. By I like that guy. I'm I'm

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Speaker 2: with him, dude, I'm with him. I get it. I

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Speaker 2: mean I am. So you know, I'm touring a lot lately,

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Speaker 2: and I've been touring a lot for the past like

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Speaker 2: year and a half two years, and it's been really

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Speaker 2: great because it keeps me uh out out of the

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Speaker 2: house and occupied and not idle. And then what happens

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Speaker 2: is I'll go I'll have like a week or two

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Speaker 2: weeks or three weeks or a month or so off

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Speaker 2: of doing my shows, and I'll be at home and

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Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh no, now I have nothing to do,

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Speaker 2: and I'm I'm kind of paralyzed. And that's kind of when,

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Speaker 2: you know, for me, the the existential thoughts come in

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Speaker 2: of like, well, why the fuck should I not you know, uh,

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Speaker 2: do X y Z destructive behavior? Because I'm gonna die anyway,

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Speaker 2: and who gives a shit? Why should I care about

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Speaker 2: making my life better? Why should I care about this

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Speaker 2: and that? And you know that's why I that's why

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Speaker 2: for me it was hard to talk to Jonathan just

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Speaker 2: now because I have those same thoughts and I haven't

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Speaker 2: figured out exactly I have. I have like in theory

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Speaker 2: how I'm gonna deal with those thoughts, but I don't

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Speaker 2: have in concrete like practice of how to fucking deal

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Speaker 2: with them. But but in that theory, it's it's those things.

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Speaker 2: It's like, well don't I just you know, join a

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Speaker 2: laser tag league or some other things like why don't

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Speaker 2: I just keep trying to figure out different ways to

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Speaker 2: get out of my house and go do things so

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Speaker 2: that I'm not going insane and eating horridbo sour gummy

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Speaker 2: Cola bottles, which are the best candy. So yeah, good luck, Jonathan.

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Speaker 2: Let me know if you figure something out, and I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna do I'm gonna search that up. I live in

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Speaker 2: a major city. I bet they have laser tag leagues. Also,

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Speaker 2: leaving your house costs a lot of money. I guess

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Speaker 2: that's why walking is good, right, because it's free to

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Speaker 2: just walk around and it's good. And I met what

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Speaker 2: I said to Jonathan because I was having these existential

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Speaker 2: crazy thoughts last night, and what I do. I just

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Speaker 2: walked for two hours. You can do that, isn't that crazy?

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Speaker 2: You can just if you if you ever look like

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Speaker 2: next time you're on the internet and you see a

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Speaker 2: tweet that pisces you off or something like that, or

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00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 2: a real or you can if at any time, you

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00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 2: can just put your phone on, fucking power it off

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Speaker 2: and just go outside and walk for two hours. You

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Speaker 2: can just do that. Any thought's available to you. It's

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Speaker 2: free to just do that, and it's nice. It's really nice.

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Speaker 2: I don't know I'm rambling right now, but uh yeah,

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Speaker 2: that that that call it made me emotional because it

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Speaker 2: taps into you know, ship that that feels very real.

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Speaker 2: So I hope we get a callback from Jonathan uh

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Speaker 2: where he's the He's the king of the Ohio laser

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Speaker 2: tags scene. All right, thanks for calling attention listeners of

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Speaker 2: the Therapy Gecko podcast. I have new tour dates on

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00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 2: sale right now at therapy geckotour dot com. If you're

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Speaker 2: a regular listener of this podcast but you haven't been

381
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,000
Speaker 2: to one of my live shows before, you should come out.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 2: It's it's a fun time. The format of the show

384
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 2: is essentially a group Gecko therapy session, where members of

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00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 2: the audience come on stage to share stuff from their lives,

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00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:02,159
Speaker 2: just like they do on the podcast, except instead of

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00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 2: anonymously over the phone, it's the complete opposite. It's anonymously

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00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 2: whatever the opposite of anonymous is. It's publicly in front

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00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,399
Speaker 2: of a few hundred people, which is a really cool

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00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 2: and interesting thing to experience. And it's also mixed in

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00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 2: with some presentations and material from me about my life,

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00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: and I think that those presentations have been very fun

393
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 2: and cool, So you should come. Tickets are on sale

394
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 2: right now at therapy geckotour dot com for the following

395
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 2: cities Nashville, Tennessee, Huntsville, Alabama, Chicago, Illinois, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan,

396
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 2: Grand Rapids, Michigan, San Jose, California, San Francisco, California, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Washington,

397
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 2: New York City, Philadelphia, Washington, d C. Austin, Texas, Houston, Texas, Dallas, Texas, Greenville,

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00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 2: South Carolina, Charlotte, North Carolina, Greensboro, North Carolina, Atlanta, Georgia, Pittsburgh, PA, Buffalo,

399
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 2: New York, Toronto, Canada, Los Angeles, California, and Minneapolis, Minnesota.

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00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:17,479
Speaker 2: Once again, that's therapy. Geckotour dot com for tickets. I

401
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,679
Speaker 2: hope you come to the show so that I can

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00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,640
Speaker 2: keep doing these shows every year because they are very

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Speaker 2: fun and sick. All right, thanks all from Richard.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Oh my god?

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Speaker 3: Is this Lyle?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Who is this?

407
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,119
Speaker 3: You can call me Richard, Richard.

408
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 2: What's up?

409
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Speaker 4: Man?

410
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Speaker 2: How's life?

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Speaker 3: You know? My life is pretty good? But I'm having

412
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 3: some problems? Well, hitman, Well, i think I've developed an

413
00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 3: addiction to pornography pretty bad.

414
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Speaker 2: Huh okay, what uh? Hit me with it?

415
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 3: Well? I find myself looking at videos very frequently, and

416
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Speaker 3: I found it very hard to control myself and it

417
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Speaker 3: makes me feel very very ashamed.

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Speaker 2: Hm hmm. How often are we are we looking at videos?

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Speaker 3: Uh, well, it depends. I've recently been trying to quit.

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Speaker 3: I've been. I went for about a about ten days

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00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:33,199
Speaker 3: and then I relapsed. Uh what type of videos do

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Speaker 3: I watch?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 2: I mean, I guess how. I didn't ask that, I

425
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 2: said I did. I didn't ask that. But it sounds

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00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 2: like you want to talk about it. So I mean,

427
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Speaker 2: if you do, go go for it.

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Speaker 3: Uh. Well, it's again, it's not a very uh pleasant subject.

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Speaker 3: I find it very embarrassing. Uh, I've been very dissensitized

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Speaker 3: to it. But I believe I started pornography when I

431
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 3: about fourteen. My parents in let the museum and a

432
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Speaker 3: lot as a kid, and so I never really built

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Speaker 3: up the tolerance to it.

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Speaker 2: How old are you now? I am twenty mm, so

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Speaker 2: I don't even know if you answer this. How often

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00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 2: are you are you looking at born?

437
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 3: About once a day? Okay, but I am you know,

438
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 3: I'm a young male, so I'm able to go for

439
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 3: quite a while.

440
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 2: Okay, So you're looking at it once a day, but

441
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 2: you're like for a long time, You're going like you know, it's.

442
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,200
Speaker 3: For an exceptional amount of time.

443
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, all right, And I mean let me ask

444
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 2: you this, what are you? Where does the shame come from?

445
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 2: Is it like, oh, I could have been doing something

446
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 2: else with my time? Is it like a weird religious thing?

447
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 2: Is that oh this is gross thing? Like what's what's

448
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 2: going on inside of that shame?

449
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 3: Well? I see it as it's a wasted my time obviously,

450
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 3: but it's also a what am I doing with my

451
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 3: life here? Why am I sitting here watching these figures

452
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 3: when I could be out doing something? And that really

453
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 3: eats at me because I feel like a loser.

454
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 2: M It's weird, man, because look throughout my entire life

455
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 2: and to this day, I've been you know, a crazy

456
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 2: jack or offer, big jack or offer, big big porn guy.

457
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 2: Not so much on the porn recently, but big jack

458
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 2: or offer. And here's the thing, And this is something

459
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 2: I don't think about that often. Is that, like I

460
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 2: think in life, it's like ideally and this isn't this

461
00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:58,880
Speaker 2: is not I don't want to preach about this because

462
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,479
Speaker 2: this is not how I actually live. This is how

463
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 2: I'd like to live in theory. But like in theory,

464
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 2: ideally you do things with your time that you either

465
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 2: a are fully enjoying with no shame or b compound

466
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:18,120
Speaker 2: into things that like make your life better in the future.

467
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 2: And you know, orgasm is a weird thing because it's

468
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 2: like you enjoy it in the moment sort of, but

469
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 2: not if but like if you're ashamed of it. It's

470
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 2: like you're doing this thing that you didn't even really

471
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 2: fully enjoy in the moment because you were ashamed of it.

472
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:40,359
Speaker 2: And you know, it's not like you know, when you

473
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 2: are having sex in a relationship, where it's like, Okay,

474
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 2: this is actually a thing I'm investing in that is compounding,

475
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 2: you know, in my relationship. So it's get I get

476
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 2: why you see it as a big fucking waste of time.

477
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 2: And I look back at a lot of the time

478
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 2: that I've spent doing that as a big fucking waste

479
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 2: of time I had. I I mean, just a few

480
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:07,439
Speaker 2: days ago, dick in hand, I was watching porn and

481
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 2: I was like, what am I doing with my life?

482
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 2: So that's it is a tough uh, a toughie hmmm.

483
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, it seems like another part of me

484
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 3: takes over right, and I can rationalize it and I

485
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 3: can think what am I doing right now? And yet

486
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,679
Speaker 3: I still do it? And that's a big problem for

487
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 3: me because I I can't tell if I'm a bad

488
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 3: person for it. I'm not intentionally.

489
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 2: Okay, what what do you mean by a bad person?

490
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 3: Uh, for consuming this pornography as opposed to going out

491
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 3: there and meeting people and doing good in society.

492
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 2: Well, I would, I mean the whole thing of like

493
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 2: bad I had a person good person like you're talking

494
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 2: about like morally, I.

495
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 3: Suppose morally, Yeah.

496
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 2: I don't know if I would. I don't know if

497
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 2: I would be sitting here. Look, i don't know if

498
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 2: I would be sitting here, you know, casting negative moral

499
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 2: judgment upon you for you know, jacking off when you

500
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 2: could be planting trees and volunteering and soup kitchens. But

501
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 2: let's talk about just in the scope of like what's

502
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 2: going to make your life more enjoyable, right, as opposed

503
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 2: to like what's morally good and what's morally bad? I mean,

504
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 2: what do you want to be doing with your life

505
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 2: and with yourself?

506
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 3: Well, I'm thinking I might want to become a welder.

507
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,239
Speaker 3: I mean, the pay is pretty good, and there's all

508
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 3: these different types and it's it's a very interesting prospect.

509
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 3: I'm not sure though, I'm I'm trying to figure out

510
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 3: what I want to do with my life.

511
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: Well, hey, you're getting better at polishing swords, of course,

512
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 2: all right, you didn't think that was funny, but and

513
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 2: it wasn't no funny, but but I mean, what could

514
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 2: you what else would you be doing with your time now?

515
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 3: I don't I don't know. I have like no prospects.

516
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 3: I mean, I said the welding thing, but I don't

517
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 3: have a direction in my life. And I've I've tried

518
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 3: all the time. I've gone to people I've talked to,

519
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,720
Speaker 3: like counselors to try and get me into a subject,

520
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 3: but I'm just I have a hard time figuring stuff out.

521
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 2: What do the counselors tell you?

522
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 3: The ones that I've gone to and I've talked to,

523
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 3: I'm talking about like college counselors. I'm trying to figure

524
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 3: out classes, and they I've tried. I've like set a

525
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 3: subject like I'm interested in technology, but I also think

526
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 3: that I think a technical job is going to be

527
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 3: outclassed by AI in a few years, and so I'm

528
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 3: not sure if that's what I wants to come too.

529
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 3: But i know welding is a thing are going to

530
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 3: be forever.

531
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 2: You know, do you have any friends, Like, are you

532
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 2: how's your social life?

533
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 3: My social life is pretty it's pretty destitute. I mean

534
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 3: I have I'm a pretty isolated person. I live pretty

535
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 3: far out of town and I talk to people in

536
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 3: high school, but I didn't like stay after class and

537
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,959
Speaker 3: do activities. And I haven't really had a lot of

538
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 3: friends per se. I've had online friends, but that's the

539
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 3: whole o their story, but not like physical like in

540
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 3: person friends. They're more like acquaintances.

541
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 2: M yeah, man, I think a lot of this stuff

542
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 2: is just like symptom Like a lot of this stuff

543
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 2: is just symptoms of other areas in life being like

544
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 2: kind of lackluster. And it's a tall order to go, okay, well,

545
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 2: go build a social life and go find a vocation

546
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 2: and uh, you know, get your shit together right. It's

547
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 2: a tall order that you never even really quite fill.

548
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 2: This is a process. It's like a leaky bucket. I mean, okay,

549
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 2: let's do that. Have you been to a real therapist

550
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 2: to talk about any of this.

551
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 3: No, I haven't, And I think that it would. I

552
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 3: know it's stupid to think this way, but I think

553
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 3: it would make me weaker as a person that because

554
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 3: of admitting that I can't handle this on my own.

555
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 4: M h.

556
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 3: M hmm. I know that's illogical. Obviously, I'm not a

557
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 3: weaker person for asking for help, but that's what I feel.

558
00:32:54,960 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 2: M yeah, I'm uh, I'm I'm I'm stuck.

559
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 4: Man.

560
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 2: I mean, I can't. I can't sit here and tell

561
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 2: you I haven't felt the same.

562
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 3: I mean, COVID made everything worse. Man, it was my

563
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 3: last two years of high school, and then I didn't

564
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 3: get to see anybody for two years solid. I just

565
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 3: made everything worse, sentuated the whole situation.

566
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 2: Why don't you, I mean, I'll tell you the same

567
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 2: thing I told the last guy. Man, It's like, why

568
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 2: didn't you just do things that get you out of

569
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 2: your house? Do you live in a in a college camp?

570
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 2: Do you live in a college place? Do you live

571
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 2: are you in school?

572
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 3: No, I'm I'm living at my parents' house. Okay, that's

573
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 3: that was That's fun to admit there's.

574
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 2: Something wrong with that. What is what can you do

575
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 2: to get yourself out of the house and with other people?

576
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 3: Well, I've been going to the gym. I've been talk

577
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 3: with people there. I met an old guy there taught

578
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 3: me how to do some workout stuff. I mean, I

579
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 3: was overweight for most of my childhood, so I was

580
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:13,439
Speaker 3: very socially stunned. I felt like I wasn't deserving of love.

581
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:20,839
Speaker 3: I suppose, m. Well, I'm therapizing myself. Here.

582
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 2: Are you learning anything as you're therapizing yourself?

583
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 3: I think so. I think that experiences make the person,

584
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:36,240
Speaker 3: and I think that I need to get out probably

585
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:42,000
Speaker 3: more and meet more people and build my brain to

586
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 3: tolerate people more as opposed to just retreating into my

587
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 3: savor space because I think that it's probably a comfort

588
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 3: thing right where I do it because I'm stressed and

589
00:34:56,680 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 3: I feel like this is the only way to unstress myself.

590
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, dude, it fucking goes. It really fucking

591
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,719
Speaker 2: goes back to what we were just talking about, of

592
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 2: like you retreating to your comfort zone because you get

593
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 2: those existential thoughts of like, well, what's the point of

594
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,760
Speaker 2: like building my life or making it better? And everyone

595
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 2: has their own way of getting past those existential thoughts.

596
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 2: Some people go through life lucky enough to never have

597
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 2: any of that shit pop into their brain just because

598
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 2: of things magically worked out, and other people struggle with

599
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 2: it immensely and never figure it out. But uh, I mean,

600
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 2: you just gotta find your own reason to do it.

601
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 2: And you're so young. It's like just to leave your

602
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 2: house just for the sake of leaving your house. I mean,

603
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,439
Speaker 2: you give a shit enough to call me and want

604
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 2: to talk about this stuff, right, So.

605
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, but like my life should be improving. I've lost

606
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,800
Speaker 3: sixty pounds, I feel better, and yet I don't feel better.

607
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 2: I don't know, man, I don't know either. God damn it,

608
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 2: I don't know either. This is this is uh a

609
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 2: struggle today because I I It's like, I don't I

610
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:37,240
Speaker 2: feel right now. It's like, bro, fuck man, fuck, just

611
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 2: just uh just get out of the house. Man, just

612
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 2: get out of the house. However, you can just go

613
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 2: for a walk.

614
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 3: Go for a walk. Well that does That supposedly makes

615
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:53,360
Speaker 3: you happy, according to the Internet, So maybe that's the solution.

616
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,760
Speaker 3: Just get out there and walk more. Just be trailed

617
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 3: through my house.

618
00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 2: Fail it up, dude, can I I'm gonna drop something

619
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 2: here real quick, just for the listeners for and people have.

620
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 2: This might be a controversial thing to say, but I've

621
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,839
Speaker 2: actually been getting a lot This is real, Like I've

622
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:15,399
Speaker 2: actually been getting like a lot of mileage off of

623
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,759
Speaker 2: typing my problems into chat GPT. Chat GPT is like

624
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 2: a crazy good therapist if you ever I don't know

625
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 2: if you've ever given that a shot, but uh, it

626
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 2: actually does come up with like pretty fucking if you

627
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 2: can't afford therapy, or like you just need something right

628
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 2: fucking now, it actually and I've done this, this is

629
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 2: kind of just what I do now. It actually gives

630
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 2: you pretty good objective logical feedback if you need just

631
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:45,720
Speaker 2: a little something in the moment.

632
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 3: Well, let's how it's its system works. It just takes

633
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:53,279
Speaker 3: information from the Internet and compiles into a coherent answer.

634
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 2: Right, something like that. I don't know how any of

635
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 2: this shit works, but that's the that's the therapy. Gecko saying,

636
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 2: have you tried asking chat GPT instead?

637
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 3: That is so DYSTOPI and asking an AI about your problems.

638
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,359
Speaker 2: Bro, It's so weird because it were weird, because it's

639
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 2: so weird because the AI, I mean, you're talking to

640
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 2: me right now, and it's like the AI works better

641
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 2: than a human sometimes.

642
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 3: Well it doesn't have that that human element is just

643
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 3: purely logical, so maybe it would be slightly better stuff.

644
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 3: But that's kind of that's a dark road to go

645
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 3: down thinking about like that, because we need humans for

646
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 3: a lot of stuff. That's that's what the companies are thinking.

647
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 3: They where they do those robocalls things or you call

648
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 3: them up and you need to talk to somebody, but

649
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,240
Speaker 3: it just a robot.

650
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure people are gonna get mad at

651
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 2: me and be like, well, you're telling people to put

652
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:54,320
Speaker 2: their I'm just literally saying this is my personal anecdote

653
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:59,359
Speaker 2: of this ship. But anyway, I mean, well, all right,

654
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 2: let me before I kick you out of here. I mean,

655
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 2: is there any other way that this phone call can

656
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 2: be helpful to you before we go anything else that

657
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 2: that maybe I can try to help you with.

658
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 3: No, But I do have one more thing to say. Yeah,

659
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 3: I don't know if you're interested in losing weight. It

660
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 3: all a while. I don't think you are. But if

661
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,280
Speaker 3: you are, or you just want to feel better about yourself, Okay,

662
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 3: I'm not doing like an ad rate here or anything.

663
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 3: I was doing an Yeah, well, this is just my

664
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,919
Speaker 3: experience what happened to me. I tried the carnivore diet

665
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 3: where you just like eat and eat and you only

666
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 3: eat salt and butter, and I lost sixty pounds and

667
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 3: I didn't even really work out, and then I started

668
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 3: to work out because I felt.

669
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's the ketogenic diet. I am. I

670
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 2: really don't want to talk about this shit on here

671
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 2: because I do not know what I am talking about

672
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 2: in even in the mental health realm, let alone in

673
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,399
Speaker 2: the physical health health realm. But I mean, yeah, when

674
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 2: you eat just protein, ye, I mean yeah, when you

675
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 2: eat when you when you eat no, I mean yeah,

676
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,439
Speaker 2: when you eat all protein and no carbs, you will

677
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:12,359
Speaker 2: definitely lose weight.

678
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

679
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was good. It's like regardless, I thank you

680
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,719
Speaker 3: for talking to me, Kyle or not Kyle Lyle, I

681
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,040
Speaker 3: really appreciate it. I sure someone to talk to good.

682
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 2: I hope this was this was helpful because I I

683
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 2: really I've said this a thousand times, but I really

684
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 2: am having a hard time with like these advice how

685
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 2: do I deal with the woes of life calls? Because

686
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 2: I really, uh struggle with it all myself and I

687
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 2: don't know. But I hope this commiseration was helpful in

688
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 2: any way, shape or form. What's your name again?

689
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 3: You can call me Richard or rich.

690
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:55,319
Speaker 2: Rich Thanks for calling rich good.

691
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 3: Luck, Thanks man, I appreciate it.

692
00:40:58,360 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 1: Take care.

693
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, it's it's hard because I really do, I

694
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:10,479
Speaker 2: try to. I think of this podcast not really as

695
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:14,720
Speaker 2: like a advice show, Like I look at it more

696
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:21,439
Speaker 2: as like a human interest story show, because I'm more

697
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:23,360
Speaker 2: interested in having people come on here and I'm like

698
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 2: kind of learning about their lives and like what's going

699
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 2: on with them, and you know, like experiencing the world

700
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:38,520
Speaker 2: through these quasi anonymous just accounts of life. Like I

701
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 2: think that's interesting. That's more interesting to me than like,

702
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,879
Speaker 2: here's advice from a guy who fucking has no idea

703
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 2: what he's doing. But I mean, you know, I try,

704
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 2: I'll try my best. I'll try my best and uh

705
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 2: just you know, ruin people's lives by telling them to

706
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 2: take the advice of an AI computer. But uh yeah whatever, man,

707
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 2: thanks for calling. I hope everything works out.

708
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:18,799
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, how's.

709
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 2: It going good? So this is just real quick. I'm

710
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,280
Speaker 2: gonna give some context. So this is I don't usually

711
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:29,200
Speaker 2: do this. In fact, I've never done this, but I'm

712
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 2: gonna do this right now. So this is this is

713
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:37,880
Speaker 2: mave right. Yes, so we're gonna this is my first

714
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 2: I have four years of doing this show. This is

715
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:44,360
Speaker 2: my first intentional follow up call with a previous caller.

716
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 2: May if you're the caller who a few weeks ago

717
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 2: talked about wanting how you were thinking about whether or

718
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 2: not you're going to date this felon right?

719
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 3: Yes?

720
00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 2: Okay, and how how did that go for you?

721
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:03,360
Speaker 5: Okay?

722
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 6: So we were talking on FaceTime, this is one of

723
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 6: the first times we really face timed, and he had

724
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 6: his shirt off and out of nowhere on his shoulder,

725
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 6: I see a goddamn swastika tattoo, and so obviously I

726
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 6: was like, hey, is that what I think it is?

727
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 6: And he was like, yeah, I did it to myself

728
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 6: in prison. And I was like, okay, I can't do this,

729
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:35,359
Speaker 6: and he tried to say, no, it's it's not what

730
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:40,399
Speaker 6: you think it means. It's a Norse mythology symbol that

731
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 6: the meaning was taken away, but it means brotherhood and

732
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,359
Speaker 6: all of this stuff. And I was like, no, no,

733
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 6: I'm not I don't care what you think it means.

734
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 6: That's just not okay.

735
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 2: That's almost as bad as the monster energy tattoo. It is.

736
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 4: I agree with that. It's close.

737
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 2: So real quick, are you going to keep dating him?

738
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 6: No? No, of course I blocked him on everything absolutely.

739
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 2: Well, May thanks for giving us an update. I hope

740
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 2: that you find somebody with like final to find a

741
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 2: guy with a nice like Mickey mouse tattoo or something.

742
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 6: I agree with that. Thanks for following up.

743
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 2: All right, take care of MeV you too.

744
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 6: Bye bye.

745
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 4: Hello?

746
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 2: Hello? What is your name?

747
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 4: Name's Amy?

748
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 2: Amy? What's going on? Amy? How How can I be

749
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:48,879
Speaker 2: a lizard on the phone for you today?

750
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:49,760
Speaker 6: Okay?

751
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 4: I'm really excited because I didn't think that you were

752
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 4: going to answer. So I'm very nervous.

753
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,840
Speaker 2: Nah, don't be nervous. It's just we're just too uh

754
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 2: human beings. Well, I guess I'm with You're a human

755
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 2: being and I'm a lizard. But we're just we're just

756
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:06,399
Speaker 2: talking on the phone. Man, what's up?

757
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 4: Okay? All right? So I wanted to talk to you

758
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 4: about something because I kind of wanted a little bit

759
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 4: of advice.

760
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 3: Okay.

761
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 4: So well, okay, so you had gotten what I had

762
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 4: texted you, right.

763
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 2: No, I have, I have, I have no context. Let's

764
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 2: start from from nothing.

765
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:29,800
Speaker 1: Okay.

766
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 4: So I feel like I have a little bit of

767
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 4: an issue, and my issue is this. Okay, So I

768
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 4: feel like I've been through a lot in my life. Okay,

769
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 4: Like I've kind of had a little bit of a

770
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 4: hard upbringing, very difficult upbringing, and I feel like because

771
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 4: of that, the way that I behave in my relationship

772
00:45:53,920 --> 00:46:00,879
Speaker 4: dynamic is really detrimental to the possible like excess of

773
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 4: this relationship. I just I feel like I sabotage things sometimes,

774
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 4: and I kind of like self diagnosed myself with like

775
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:13,080
Speaker 4: a potential mental disorder of like a plethora of them.

776
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 4: But obviously, you know, I haven't went to like an

777
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 4: actual professional, so I don't know if you know my

778
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 4: diagnoses are correct. I'd assume they're probably not. But I

779
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 4: guess my question is, like, how could I be less

780
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 4: problematic in my relationship dynamic so that I can have

781
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:43,760
Speaker 4: one that is healthy? Because when I get in moments

782
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,280
Speaker 4: where I feel like I'm being overly emotional about something,

783
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 4: it's hard for me to like like rationalize like actually

784
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:55,320
Speaker 4: approaching a situation in a healthy way, and I usually

785
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 4: just take the the negative road.

786
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:03,959
Speaker 2: And so listen, So I'm I'm I'm happy to talk

787
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:08,439
Speaker 2: to you about this just uh as a as a

788
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 2: random stranger on the internet. But but before I do

789
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 2: talk to you about this, you know, within that context

790
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 2: we have you you know, you say that you've like

791
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 2: self diagnosed yourself with a like a mental disorder, Like

792
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 2: is this something that you've talked to like actual like

793
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 2: therapists and psychiatrists about.

794
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 4: So I have went to a therapist once before, and

795
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 4: he was not like he was pretty terrible, like we

796
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 4: just didn't really Like I was trying to explain to him,

797
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 4: like all of these destructive behaviorisms that I have, and

798
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:50,560
Speaker 4: he was just not he was like not acknowledging them,

799
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 4: and it made me feel like like he kept like,

800
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 4: how do I explain this? Like he kept making it

801
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 4: seem like the things I was bringing up were things

802
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 4: that were like, no, not a big deal, but like

803
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 4: in my head, I was like, dude, like you don't understand,

804
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 4: Like I feel like I'm not being the best partner

805
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 4: and I'm very much so aware of that, and he's

806
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, And it was kind of

807
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:14,239
Speaker 4: like brushed off, like now so.

808
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 2: You know what, Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm down to

809
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 2: talk to you about it, but I just wanted to

810
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 2: make sure that you know you you uh, I am

811
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:27,840
Speaker 2: not the first line of defense. Oh totally okay. So

812
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 2: I mean what are these behaviors that you say are

813
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 2: destructive to your relationships?

814
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:41,359
Speaker 4: I feel like I feel like sometimes when I have

815
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 4: a situation where we are like not seeing eye to eye,

816
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,879
Speaker 4: I feel like I've become like overtly emotional about it,

817
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:53,759
Speaker 4: and instead of me understanding like his perspective, I feel

818
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 4: like I'm being very vague. Instead of me understanding his perspective,

819
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 4: I like kind of create things in my mind that

820
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 4: he would is potentially doing towards me, but I don't.

821
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 4: It's like, it's not that he actually is. It's just

822
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 4: I'm so overtly emotional that I'm jumping to a bunch

823
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 4: of conclusions in my head and then those you know

824
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 4: what I mean, yes, and then those conclusions seem like

825
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 4: real mhm you know.

826
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 2: So the reason why you should talk to a real

827
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 2: therapist at all, like we can talk about but the

828
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 2: reason why she sharked a real therapist is because, like

829
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:35,360
Speaker 2: a real therapist will probably be able to tell you like, Okay,

830
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 2: you probably feel this way because of this thing that happened.

831
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,800
Speaker 2: I've seen this one hundred times. Here's what you should

832
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 2: do based on the research that I have on this

833
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. So you should do that, but I mean,

834
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 2: from my dumb ass perspective, it's like, uh, if you're

835
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:59,879
Speaker 2: jumping into conclusions of what you just you just can't

836
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 2: conclude what another person might be thinking or feeling or

837
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 2: planning or any of that stuff. All you can do

838
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 2: is talk to them, and if you want to choose

839
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 2: not to believe them or to believe them, it's like,

840
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 2: I mean, all you can do is communicate with this person, right,

841
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 2: So if you think that this go ahead, what are

842
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:34,319
Speaker 2: you gonna say?

843
00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 4: Do you think that? Like? Okay, so like how you

844
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 4: had just said, like if you don't believe them, right, like,

845
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 4: you ask them and they're like, I'm not doing that,

846
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 4: and you're like in your head, you're like, yeah you are.

847
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:49,360
Speaker 4: Is that like kind of a little that's like a

848
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 4: little weird, right, because like you should be able to

849
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 4: like how am I going to be able to tell

850
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 4: someone else if they're being honest or transparent? It's not

851
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 4: like I'm a reader, so like, why would I assume

852
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,839
Speaker 4: that they're just lying to me? I?

853
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 2: Do you know what? That's actually that's an interesting thing

854
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:16,719
Speaker 2: to think about. I kind of think a working theory

855
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 2: with this is like, look, because it's all on you, right,

856
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 2: I mean, you're not. You can't control other people, whether

857
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 2: or not other people are gonna lie to you or not.

858
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 2: But you can. But you can. You can be like.

859
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 5: Look, I'm going to decide for myself that I'm gonna

860
00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:42,240
Speaker 5: believe what this person is telling me at face value.

861
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 2: And if I find out later that this person was

862
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 2: lying to me, I accept that as a risk of

863
00:51:51,719 --> 00:52:00,359
Speaker 2: my decision. And I'm making this decision because I think

864
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:05,600
Speaker 2: it'll make my life better and because I know what

865
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:09,320
Speaker 2: it's like in the past to have been walking around

866
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 2: not trusting anyone, being super paranoid and not being able

867
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 2: to not being able to trust anyone, and I don't

868
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 2: like how that made me feel, and I don't like

869
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 2: that lifestyle. So I'm gonna decide to be less like that.

870
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 2: And if, again, if I find out later that it

871
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 2: I was wrong, I accept that as a risk that

872
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:38,400
Speaker 2: I'm willing to take because I want to be less

873
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:42,799
Speaker 2: paranoid and I want to be happier and have less anxiety.

874
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 2: That's just a theory that I have. And I don't

875
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:47,799
Speaker 2: know if that I don't know if what I said

876
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 2: just resonated. I don't know if what I said resonates

877
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:51,920
Speaker 2: with you. But if it does, that's that's you know

878
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 2: kind of how I think about it.

879
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:59,279
Speaker 4: Yes, that actually does. That was perfect because the reason

880
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,120
Speaker 4: why I feel like he said was like spot on,

881
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 4: because this morning I tried to start some bullshit, right, So,

882
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:06,960
Speaker 4: like we got into an argument last night and I

883
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,760
Speaker 4: wanted to roll it over into like the next day

884
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 4: and like kind of like start where we left off

885
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 4: in a way and continue on the bullshit. And so

886
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 4: what he had said to me was, Okay, like you're

887
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 4: like essentially like you're going to start You're starting this

888
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:24,919
Speaker 4: day off already shitty, Like you're choosing to start this day.

889
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:27,239
Speaker 2: Can I can I interject for like a second, so

890
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 2: like when you like very very briefly tell me what

891
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:33,240
Speaker 2: was the argument about.

892
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:40,839
Speaker 4: It's so stupid. Okay, So it's so fucking stupid, all right.

893
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 4: So basically, we had moved into a neighborhood and I

894
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:48,800
Speaker 4: have social anxiety, and so I kind of wanted to

895
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 4: like meet my neighbors and stuff like that. But I

896
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:54,839
Speaker 4: kind of had a plan on how I wanted to

897
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 4: introduce myself, and it was like an inclusion with him,

898
00:53:57,640 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 4: Like I was like, oh, maybe we can get some

899
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 4: cup and like bring them over and say like, Hi,

900
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:04,440
Speaker 4: my name is this, my name is that whatever, and

901
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 4: like we can form a bond. Right. So basically what

902
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:10,919
Speaker 4: had happened is he had met the neighbors like without me, right,

903
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:14,479
Speaker 4: And so my feelings were hurt because now I felt like, oh,

904
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:18,400
Speaker 4: he has cultivated a relationship with these people, and instead

905
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:21,200
Speaker 4: of us going with my idea, he took it upon

906
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 4: himself to go and like introduce himself and meet these

907
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 4: people without me, And so I kind of felt a

908
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:29,319
Speaker 4: little bit slighted. My feelings were hurt. And so like

909
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 4: yesterday specifically, he was like outside like doing yard stuff,

910
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:36,120
Speaker 4: just like normal shit, and the neighbor he was like

911
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 4: talking to him and stuff like that, and they were

912
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 4: all like you know, going back and forth and talking,

913
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 4: and I felt really left out, Like I heard them talking,

914
00:54:42,719 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 4: and I like hurt my feelings and it brought up

915
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 4: the same anger that I had the day I found

916
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:51,839
Speaker 4: out that he like went introduced himself without me, and

917
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:53,919
Speaker 4: I don't know, dude, Like I was like sitting there

918
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 4: and I was like feeling how I felt right, and

919
00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 4: I like got all I was getting hot and like

920
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 4: my heart was beating all fast, and I felt really

921
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:02,600
Speaker 4: angry and I didn't know why, Like I felt like

922
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:04,879
Speaker 4: maybe this is like a trauma response from like when

923
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:07,920
Speaker 4: I was younger, maybe feeling like left out or like included,

924
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 4: or like being alone, and so like I'm kind of

925
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 4: trying to like navigate that share right now because that's

926
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 4: what I feel like is being heard. So I know

927
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 4: it's stupid.

928
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:21,839
Speaker 2: So I have a couple thoughts on this. It's like

929
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:25,240
Speaker 2: one when so when you're when you made that decision,

930
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:28,200
Speaker 2: you Okay, I'm gonna roll over. This argument is like

931
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 2: I think anytime anytime you're like in an argument, like

932
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 2: if I were you, I would think to myself, like

933
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,000
Speaker 2: what am I? What am I trying to serve right now?

934
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:43,400
Speaker 2: Because like if you're in an argument and you're screaming

935
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,799
Speaker 2: at somebody and you're like, let me bring this up,

936
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:47,359
Speaker 2: Let me bring that up, Let me bring that up,

937
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:50,080
Speaker 2: like a lot of times, like if you really examine it,

938
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 2: you're serving your anger. You're just serving like vindication and anger,

939
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:03,880
Speaker 2: which is not actually helpful to you and your goals

940
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:07,520
Speaker 2: because really you're I mean, in this situation specifically, your

941
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 2: goal is to like you want to overcome your social

942
00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 2: anxiety because you know it'll make your life better. And

943
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 2: I do think.

944
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 4: You know.

945
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:25,680
Speaker 2: This thing of like your husband like introduced himself to

946
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:29,879
Speaker 2: the neighbors without you, and like you know, you're sitting,

947
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:31,839
Speaker 2: you're in You're in your and I feel for you

948
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 2: because in your head you recognize you're like this is ridiculous.

949
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 2: Why do I feel this way? I feel bad that

950
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:40,759
Speaker 2: I even feel this way, And I think that's a

951
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,840
Speaker 2: good thing to recognize. And on top of that, just

952
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 2: recognize that, like, Okay, my journey to overcoming my social

953
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:58,279
Speaker 2: anxiety is my own responsibility and it's not my husband's fault,

954
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:02,360
Speaker 2: Like it's it's on me to be like, Okay, I

955
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 2: gotta summon the thing of like let me just go

956
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:09,920
Speaker 2: over there and say what's up to my neighbors, like

957
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 2: and my and my husband is not in between me

958
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:19,480
Speaker 2: and summoning the courage to go do that. And so

959
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 2: I think just breaking every fucking thing down into what

960
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 2: is my goal and what's going to help me get there,

961
00:57:28,240 --> 00:57:32,560
Speaker 2: and everything else is complete fucking bullshit, you know, everything

962
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:35,360
Speaker 2: else is Everything else is really what's in the way.

963
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 2: It's not my husband, it's in the way. It's like

964
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 2: me trying to serve anger and vindication and all these

965
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 2: things by like yelling or bringing arguments up, it's doesn't

966
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 2: actually serve my real goal, which is to overcome my

967
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:55,440
Speaker 2: social anxiety, to make my relationships better and to be happier.

968
00:57:56,080 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 2: And when you and when you, when you frame it

969
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 2: and you're talking to your husband and you're saying these

970
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:04,880
Speaker 2: things like, Okay, what's actually gonna make my life better?

971
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 2: And what's gonna make my life better is figuring out

972
00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:10,960
Speaker 2: how am I going to summon the courage that's needed

973
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:16,320
Speaker 2: to go next door and say what's up to my neighbors?

974
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:19,360
Speaker 2: And then and when you're sitting there like yelling at

975
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:25,680
Speaker 2: your husband's because he went and you know, introduce himself

976
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:29,040
Speaker 2: to the neighbors without you, it's like you're kinda you're

977
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:33,560
Speaker 2: so far off from where you actually want to be

978
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 2: to serve your goals? Does that make sense? Does that?

979
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:41,520
Speaker 2: Is that fair? Does that resonate? Yeah?

980
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:54,240
Speaker 4: That's fair. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah that makes sense. That's interesting.

981
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 4: I feel like an asshole?

982
00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 2: Well, look, I mean does feeling like, I mean, even

983
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 2: right now, like, does feeling like an asshole serve your goals?

984
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:08,640
Speaker 2: Or is it just going to be you beating yourself

985
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 2: up further, which will get you further into your emotions

986
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:16,160
Speaker 2: and then you'll further you know, go into vindictiveness, like

987
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Like that's just like like

988
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 2: like beating yourself up, just beating yourself up serve your

989
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:27,520
Speaker 2: goals of improving your relationships, being happier, and overcoming your

990
00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:31,440
Speaker 2: social anxiety. And if you, I think the answer is no,

991
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 2: So yeah, I would just every every step you take

992
00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:39,320
Speaker 2: moving forward, be like, Okay, how is this going to

993
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 2: serve my underlying goals? You know?

994
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 4: Yeah that actually that's that's yeah. That was really good advice. Actually, yeah, well.

995
01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,840
Speaker 2: Is there is there? That was cool. I was actually

996
01:00:03,840 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 2: one of the first times in a while I felt

997
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:09,919
Speaker 2: like I gave good advice on this podcast. So I'm

998
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 2: stoked at that.

999
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,200
Speaker 4: You know, I listened to you all the time. You

1000
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:17,959
Speaker 4: give great advice. I had no idea what this call

1001
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 4: was going to be. I didn't have any expectations. I

1002
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 4: didn't even know if you were going to call me.

1003
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:25,120
Speaker 4: But that was great advice. Yeah, you do a really

1004
01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 4: good job just in general. But like this is very

1005
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:27,880
Speaker 4: helpful to me.

1006
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 2: Thanks man, I'm trying. I felt lot. I felt pretty

1007
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 2: locked in just now, Yeah.

1008
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 4: You were locked in. Yeah you are pretty locked in.

1009
01:00:34,560 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 2: I felt pretty all right, cool, this was this was

1010
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:39,080
Speaker 2: actually almost I think this is actually even more helpful

1011
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,440
Speaker 2: to me than to you. So thank you for calling me.

1012
01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the

1013
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:45,840
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go?

1014
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 4: No, I don't really have I don't have much to provide.

1015
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:52,880
Speaker 4: I just think that I don't know. If I were

1016
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:55,240
Speaker 4: to give anything, it would be like, I don't know.

1017
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 4: Just don't let your negative thoughts consume you. I guess

1018
01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:03,640
Speaker 4: sometimes we're really far off, like the reality of the situation. Yeah,

1019
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:05,400
Speaker 4: that's what I think.

1020
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 2: Well, take care and uh good, good luck talking to

1021
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:10,720
Speaker 2: the neighbors.

1022
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 4: Thanks all right, take care man, you too. Bye. Never

1023
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:21,680
Speaker 4: Bed goes on the line taking your phone calls.

1024
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 5: Every night, Never goes to his side.

1025
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:28,160
Speaker 2: He's teaching you cloud of your life, but he's not ready.

1026
01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:29,120
Speaker 5: An expert