Speaker 1: Speaks to the planet.
Speaker 2: I'll go by the name of Charlamagne the God and
Speaker 2: guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
Speaker 2: third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming
Speaker 2: back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poleman
Speaker 2: Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions Decisions,
Speaker 2: Mandy B and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and
Speaker 2: B Money podcast, were taking Jay Valentine. We got the
Speaker 2: Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got
Speaker 2: Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with
Speaker 2: her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast with
Speaker 2: more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
Speaker 2: We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses
Speaker 2: plus the food truck court to keep you fed.
Speaker 3: While you visit us.
Speaker 2: All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap
Speaker 2: in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect dot
Speaker 2: Com Flash Podcast.
Speaker 1: Festival, hoping to we talk back where we encourage you
Speaker 1: to hustle, hard, laugh, letter and always keep it cute.
Speaker 1: So grab your coffee, cocktail and crown because it's about
Speaker 1: to go down's talk talk.
Speaker 3: You're just too unapologetically black women with an opinion.
Speaker 1: He talks back, what's up, y'all, it's your girl a
Speaker 1: j holiday? What's up, tam Damn?
Speaker 3: Hey, y'all. I love y'all so much.
Speaker 1: Hey, I'm well, girls, stop light. These people love him.
Speaker 3: I love him so much. They love me too.
Speaker 1: Until you do some ship, they don't like, they're gonna
Speaker 1: be dragging and it's trying to come for you for
Speaker 1: look for sucking tubs.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 1: That's a lit ma noth until April. After April girls.
Speaker 3: Drop, my mama gonna come up to me, coming told
Speaker 3: for me yikes, and then walked off. I was like,
Speaker 3: oh wow, everybody got something to say. Ye a man
Speaker 3: foot in my mouth? Y'all put on a lot of
Speaker 3: technic tests. I never put him wonder his foot in
Speaker 3: my mouth? Shame Anyway, How was your weekend?
Speaker 1: My weekend was great? Did I do something this weekend? Oh?
Speaker 3: I did go outside?
Speaker 1: Not outside for real, I just did like a little.
Speaker 1: On Saturday, I went by one of my homegirl's house
Speaker 1: who I recently reconnected with, and just talk some shit
Speaker 1: for a couple hours over some crab bags. Me shout
Speaker 1: out to Courtney girl, she'd be in roger Wood sausage.
Speaker 1: When the last time you had a roger Wood sausage.
Speaker 3: Roger Woods all the time?
Speaker 1: Are you serious? Oh my god, First of all, on
Speaker 1: you sausage, and don't put that shit in my bag
Speaker 1: in my crab bag.
Speaker 3: I don't want that in my crab bag either, because
Speaker 3: it overpowers all the other food in there. But I
Speaker 3: was have a roger Wood fried up good on spicing
Speaker 3: bread with some must period.
Speaker 1: Shame. Now back in the day when we was kids, like,
Speaker 1: if you ain't having a roger Wood sausage in your house,
Speaker 1: you really ain't have no food. As long was we
Speaker 1: had a box of roger Wad sausage like we shit
Speaker 1: was lit.
Speaker 3: You eat and eggs and rama's straight.
Speaker 1: I probably had a roger Wood sausage in middle school.
Speaker 3: Damn. I had one a couple of days ago. So
Speaker 3: this weekend it was the Black College Invitational Championship in Charlotte.
Speaker 3: Is a new tournament. My friend Russy put it on y'all,
Speaker 3: we got to support this tournament, like this is the
Speaker 3: first year. He wants all our support, all the HBCUs.
Speaker 3: He wants this involved y'all. So everyone, we got to
Speaker 3: support this black basketball tournament in Charlotte, North Carolina, and
Speaker 3: it was I saw a lot of parties surrounded just
Speaker 3: like CI double A.
Speaker 1: It's supposed to be coming back, right, CI double A.
Speaker 3: I don't know, but this is about this one, this
Speaker 3: black one brought on by blacks, presented by black people
Speaker 3: for HBCUs. Y'all get involved intellect.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you attend any of the fescificity festivities?
Speaker 3: I actually didn't get to go out to the tournament.
Speaker 3: I did go to There's a new lounge in Charlotte
Speaker 3: called Taranga that opened up over the weekend too, and
Speaker 3: I popped out there and it was nice.
Speaker 1: It was Taranga, Topanga, Taranga whever it comes.
Speaker 3: From like that. I think it's called Tarango though, and
Speaker 3: it was cute in there. So that opened over the weekend.
Speaker 3: They're soft open, but that was soft about it. It
Speaker 3: was fully open. So I went there and that was it.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't get out too much these days,
Speaker 3: I mean in the house. M hm.
Speaker 1: Well that sounds fun.
Speaker 3: It was fun. It was a good time. Meet Jamaican
Speaker 3: and Raquel.
Speaker 1: With Ja Maka Jamaica honestae Jamaican, so damn long.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a good time. Shout out to Jamaica
Speaker 3: and Raquel, let's get in there now, what you got?
Speaker 1: What you I You know what?
Speaker 3: I keep seeing posts about a BBL smell. So this
Speaker 3: one woman got on there and said the bbl's is
Speaker 3: stinking and ain't nobody talking about it? That it spelled
Speaker 3: like she said, it smelled like a pot of broccoli
Speaker 3: that got to live on it and been sitting on
Speaker 3: the stove for two days. God damn, Now, listen, if
Speaker 3: you got a BBL, y'all, tell us do your shit
Speaker 3: smell like broccoli every now and then when you swear
Speaker 3: or something? And what causes that? So I looked up
Speaker 3: the BBL smell and apparently there's some truth to it.
Speaker 1: I've been hearing that for years, that the bbl's be leaking,
Speaker 1: that they be smelling, And I don't know if it
Speaker 1: has anything to do with that. Maybe, I don't know
Speaker 1: if the the fact that was transferred to it is
Speaker 1: like rotten. I don't know. I'm one of my little
Speaker 1: cousins that got a BBL one time and her shit
Speaker 1: went wrong. Tell me a motherfucker who ever got a
Speaker 1: BBL in Charleston, South Carolina. I don't know, but she did, okay,
Speaker 1: and they I remember going with her to an appointment
Speaker 1: and they had to put guds in that thing, like
Speaker 1: she had a whole back there because her body was
Speaker 1: actually rejecting her own fat in that area. So she
Speaker 1: got an infection. So I don't know if maybe because
Speaker 1: you know these girls, they be having to get that
Speaker 1: shit cut out now well wait wait, wait, let me
Speaker 1: back up. Yeah, so that was a fat transfer. That's
Speaker 1: different the bbls A lot of the women have, maybe
Speaker 1: like the saline. Yeah, it's like the foreign matter that
Speaker 1: they're putting into the body. It's not their own fat. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did see your titty, bitch you. This girl is
Speaker 1: such a whole like, yeah, I saw the nipple. But
Speaker 1: why you gotta put it in the audio. She just
Speaker 1: want everybody know her fucking pities is out your ass,
Speaker 1: crazy ass. But look, I did google BBL smell and
Speaker 1: it just said this is from South Shore Plastic Surgery,
Speaker 1: it says, identifying the BBL smell. The BBL smell is
Speaker 1: often described as musty or slightly sour, so that there
Speaker 1: goes that broccoli with the lid on. But it should
Speaker 1: not be overpowering. You may notice the order more prominently
Speaker 1: after sweating or sitting for extended periods. However, the smell
Speaker 1: is a company accompanied by other symptoms like redness, swelling,
Speaker 1: or fever. These could be signs of infection. So if
Speaker 1: the booty is smelling.
Speaker 3: So that must be like a new BBL. The old
Speaker 3: bbls can't be having this smell, right.
Speaker 1: I think people be having problems with the old bbls.
Speaker 1: They've had this thing sitting in their bodies for years rottening.
Speaker 3: It's crazy. Yeah, I don't know. If it can rotten
Speaker 3: your own fat, I don't know.
Speaker 1: And it says maintaining optimal hygiene after BBL can be challenging.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. Maybe because y'all put too much
Speaker 1: as back there, especially when using the restroom. Residual stool
Speaker 1: or urine on the skin can lead to bacterial growth
Speaker 1: and older development if not clean thoroughly. Be extra diligent
Speaker 1: about cleansing after bio movements and urination to prevent unwanted smells.
Speaker 3: But ain't that to everybody?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like that is not exclusive to booties, right.
Speaker 3: Wipe your head is a thing for everybody, you will
Speaker 3: think of your ass dirty, like what the hell?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I believe it's rottening though, I believe if it's
Speaker 1: not just like the BBL with the fat transfer, like
Speaker 1: using your own fat, which your body can also still
Speaker 1: reject that, right, But you do have a lot of
Speaker 1: women that were getting the asses added on before the
Speaker 1: BBL fat transfer. It's been around, but yeah, they were
Speaker 1: doing injections in the back of the club or in
Speaker 1: some basement in New York City, like yeah, and people
Speaker 1: were going to prison for performing these things. Fix a
Speaker 1: flat in the ass all type of shit and your
Speaker 1: ass is crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, nuts, Well that's proof I ain't had no BBM.
Speaker 3: My shit don't never smell like broccing now.
Speaker 1: And you know, just like with anything else, like you
Speaker 1: are the first person to smell these things. You should
Speaker 1: not be bunking that ass round the club knowing that
Speaker 1: this thing possibly be smelling like hot shit. Bunks that ass,
Speaker 1: like bunks that ass.
Speaker 3: You start experiencing that, you should probably go to a doctor,
Speaker 3: because it got to be something that you can do
Speaker 3: to help, you know, like combat the broccoli yell.
Speaker 1: So I saw online and look, and I you might
Speaker 1: think this is crazy. Personally, I don't think it is.
Speaker 1: I think it's very plausible. If I were an attorney
Speaker 1: and somebody brought this lawsuit to me, I'll be like,
Speaker 1: you know what, you might be onto something. So apparently
Speaker 1: a Russian man sued Apple for turning him gay. It
Speaker 1: says a Russian man, uh, his name is d Razommulov,
Speaker 1: fouled a lawsuit against Apple, claiming that the company's products
Speaker 1: turned him gay. This is one of the most bizarre
Speaker 1: legal cases in history, it says. It says he downloaded
Speaker 1: a crypto app onto his phone where he started receiving
Speaker 1: gay coin instead of bitcoin. The Apple apparently said, don't
Speaker 1: judge until you try. Inspiring Razummulov, whatever, how are you
Speaker 1: pronounce the last name? To begin having sex, to begin
Speaker 1: having same sex relationships, he ended up falling in love
Speaker 1: with another man, and now he is suing Apple because
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 3: About that the dumbest shit I ever heard. Didn't nobody
Speaker 3: to make you fuck a dude, You chose it.
Speaker 1: No, I think that, I really do think that there
Speaker 1: is subliminal messaging with this. It's direct messaging. Don't knock
Speaker 1: until you try it, you know what I'm saying? And
Speaker 1: he actually tried it. You know, I know I've said
Speaker 1: this on the show before. There's a lot of men
Speaker 1: that are probably gay in the mind before they are
Speaker 1: actually physically gay, right, or maybe some of them may
Speaker 1: never ever act on the urge right to have sex
Speaker 1: with it with the same sex, but they think about
Speaker 1: it a lot and they just haven't gotten like the
Speaker 1: opportune time or situation to do it. And now this
Speaker 1: thing has enticed him to do it. He might have
Speaker 1: a lawsuit.
Speaker 3: He gonna lose, bag.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Think about that.
Speaker 3: Accountability, Like Apple didn't make you go nowhere and fuck
Speaker 3: no man, like that was a firm decision.
Speaker 1: What if he can prove that Apple kept sending him
Speaker 1: this message to his phone, like it just kept popping
Speaker 1: up on his phone. Don't knock it to you tried.
Speaker 3: That is not that is but Erica keep sending me
Speaker 3: messages get broccoli soup. I ain't got none yet.
Speaker 1: But McDonald's has been sued for a subliminal messaging many
Speaker 1: times throughout history. Think about this young boy who just
Speaker 1: committed suicide because AI told him to come be with him.
Speaker 1: You see yeah this album, Yeah, like and if somebody I.
Speaker 3: Just don't think sexual acts count because you have to
Speaker 3: literally go do it, like you have to decide that
Speaker 3: you want to have sex with another the same sex.
Speaker 1: I think he got a lot of suit. We'll see.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna track it if you're win that.
Speaker 3: I'm suing everybody for every choice I've ever made in
Speaker 3: life that wasn't right, spending spending money on clothes. Y'all
Speaker 3: keep sending me messages about buying clothes, and I keep
Speaker 3: buying clothes and I ain't got no money. That's your fault.
Speaker 3: So I'm gonna sue y'all, and I better win this.
Speaker 3: Motherfucker win about it. Beat Apple. The Apple owe him
Speaker 3: some money for him deciding to suck some dick. That
Speaker 3: was a choice. If you want to suck some dick,
Speaker 3: it's okay, but don't don't. Don't put it on Apple.
Speaker 3: Apple ain't got nothing to do with it. It's okay, Eve.
Speaker 1: I feel like we could find some lawsuits where people
Speaker 1: probably suit him one for these things. They may not
Speaker 1: publicize them heavily because they don't want other people trying
Speaker 1: and shit, but you know, like all lawyers got to
Speaker 1: do is convince the jury.
Speaker 3: That's it.
Speaker 1: And I feel like he would be able to his
Speaker 1: attorney may be able to convince the jury that they.
Speaker 3: Got ain't no way. I don't know who else going
Speaker 3: to be able to win that kid, Me, that's who me.
Speaker 3: Look what else happened over the weekend? Oh did you
Speaker 3: see where Young Miami? She was on Shannon Shark m
Speaker 3: C Club and she explained that she'll give her significant
Speaker 3: other or four times to cheat before she calls it
Speaker 3: a rap. Four times to cheat. That number is very specific.
Speaker 1: I give my four times that I haven't watched a
Speaker 1: full interview yet. I only saw like the clips online,
Speaker 1: but I laughed my ass off where she said like
Speaker 1: four times, y'all Miami ass funny as hell without trying
Speaker 1: to be funny. She just right round the way girl,
Speaker 1: because you.
Speaker 3: Can't even you shouldn't even if that's the case, you
Speaker 3: shouldn't say it out loud. I feel like the nigga
Speaker 3: gonna be like shit, you said I had four times?
Speaker 3: I seen it a club shack shade girl.
Speaker 1: I have an ex boyfriend who always, like, at least
Speaker 1: once every two years, I might speak to this nigga,
Speaker 1: and he always complains about how I didn't give him second, third, fourth, chance.
Speaker 1: You give all these other niggas a chance, you ain't
Speaker 1: never get to fuck me over again. You mad because
Speaker 1: I gave another nigga a chance to fuck me over
Speaker 1: and not you. Right, that is beyond me. These people's thinking, Nah, nigga,
Speaker 1: I just didn't feel like you were worth all these
Speaker 1: extra chances, which he had a lot. So I'm trying
Speaker 1: to figure out what the fuck are you talking about? Like, yes,
Speaker 1: I'm definitely not about to give a nigga like okay,
Speaker 1: if you want to strike off one, you got three left.
Speaker 3: I'm like some people, cheating is an ultimate deal worker.
Speaker 3: It's the ultimate disrespect for the relationships. Some people, it ain't.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm a go ahead.
Speaker 3: I always have to weigh like, am I'm more happy
Speaker 3: than not? That's always an answer for me in every scenario.
Speaker 3: Am I smiling more or not smiling enough? Then I
Speaker 3: gotta go. It don't matter what the infraction is.
Speaker 1: Right or how many times. I mean, the more you
Speaker 1: do shit, I'm losing like respect for you, I'm losing trust.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. So even if you and
Speaker 1: then eventually you ain't gonna be able to trust me, nigga,
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna make you feel it, you know, So
Speaker 1: do you really want to be here after? You don't
Speaker 1: shoot on me? A lot of times I may not
Speaker 1: have left you, and that's a toxic trade of mine.
Speaker 1: I may not leave you right for cheating, but you're
Speaker 1: gonna feel my wrath and I'm not even I may
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say nothing, but you're gonna feel like
Speaker 1: something going on. Okay, So don't play with me because
Speaker 1: I do. I'm I am a one upper.
Speaker 3: My daddy said when he had cheated on my mom
Speaker 3: when they were young, and Mama took him back, but
Speaker 3: he said we had to eat out the same plate
Speaker 3: for like two months before he trusted the eating over
Speaker 3: here with your fork because we're not eating out a
Speaker 3: different bowl.
Speaker 1: He thought she was gonna poison him. Yep, why are
Speaker 1: you still with somebody you can't trust in that? I
Speaker 1: never understand why men stay with women they still eat
Speaker 1: food from. But you don't trust me?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Just be eating up this food, asking me what I'm cooking,
Speaker 1: asking me what we eating? But you but you scared?
Speaker 1: You ain't scared enough. You ain't scared, You are not
Speaker 1: scared enough? All right, y'all? So for this week's episode.
Speaker 1: Tell me when the last time you watched Wayne Takes Hell?
Speaker 1: The other day for realm So I have watched it
Speaker 1: as like a super adult because I feel like we
Speaker 1: would have been teenagers when it came out, right, Like
Speaker 1: I have watched it, Girl beat it. I wasn't born yet.
Speaker 1: I saw it last week. Girl Get out of Here.
Speaker 3: A vintage movie for me.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know if we were watching Wayne Takes
Speaker 1: Hell like when we actually got into these like serious relationships.
Speaker 1: When you have watched Waiting Takes Heil, And I do
Speaker 1: suggest y'all to go watch it now if you haven't
Speaker 1: in the last five years, six years, ten years, whatever
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 3: I the other day on the plane, right he has
Speaker 3: one of those movies.
Speaker 1: On the flight, Go watch it because I want to
Speaker 1: talk about it with you, but I also want to
Speaker 1: talk about it like with the listeners. What y'all think
Speaker 1: about Waiting Takes Heale as it pertains to like our
Speaker 1: life now and dating, did anything change? Is it the
Speaker 1: same shit we now experiencing what we saw them as
Speaker 1: you know, grown women, career women, mothers, single fine bitch,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, like, are we experiencing
Speaker 1: the same things.
Speaker 3: Let's get into it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll be right back, all right now, asorry from
Speaker 1: you know, just thinking about the characters on Waiting the
Speaker 1: Waiting Takes Hell. I actually came across this post and
Speaker 1: I sent it to Tamman. I just want to read
Speaker 1: a couple of parts of it, right, because it says,
Speaker 1: after watching excuse me, after we watching Waiting Takes Hell
Speaker 1: for the first time since I was younger, same shit, right,
Speaker 1: it felt to me. Excuse me, It left me with
Speaker 1: a lot to unpack. And here's a whole thread, right.
Speaker 1: So it begins with saying, like, so this movie is
Speaker 1: classically known for the infamous scene of Bernadine, that character
Speaker 1: that was played by Angela Angel Bassett, Yeah, setting her
Speaker 1: soon to be ex husband clothes on fire in his car.
Speaker 1: But that wasn't the only thing that exploded, right, So
Speaker 1: she's saying, like, mentally, now, let's just unpack that one
Speaker 1: part because I literally have that the scene where she
Speaker 1: walked up in the ballroom and slapped that white bitch.
Speaker 1: I got that shit saved on Instagram.
Speaker 3: I seen it one day, and I.
Speaker 1: Love that part of the movie. Bernardine.
Speaker 2: I'm in a meeting here.
Speaker 3: If you need something, I suggest, would.
Speaker 1: You mind terribly if I had a few words with
Speaker 1: my husband? Oh? What the hell are you doing? I've
Speaker 1: been to the bank. Thank you, thank you for thanking
Speaker 1: of your children. Everybody out, yes, out, you're comfort wife,
Speaker 1: and start throwing some tantrum because you can't finish what
Speaker 1: you started. What am I supposed to do for money?
Speaker 1: I gave you the house now, sun.
Speaker 3: I think we all enjoyed that part.
Speaker 1: That looked like it was a real slap.
Speaker 3: It was not.
Speaker 1: It looked really real, like they acted the shit out
Speaker 1: of that part.
Speaker 3: She's like, do you excuse me? Do you think I
Speaker 3: could talk to my husband for a second. She's like, sure,
Speaker 3: I didn't.
Speaker 1: So the next threat, the next party threat says, there's
Speaker 1: a heavy depiction of a loneliness and how women can
Speaker 1: consistently say yes to things that say no to them.
Speaker 1: That's true, right when you like kind of lonely?
Speaker 3: Mm hmm, this is definitely uh me, you be settled
Speaker 3: up for shit, right, entertaining old shit just because it's familiar,
Speaker 3: but it don't really align with what I really want
Speaker 3: or desire, honestly, and the loneliness get to you. Man
Speaker 3: that ship, I'll tell you, and your body will betray
Speaker 3: your mind every time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you asking asking different you asking a
Speaker 1: universe for one thing, right, but you're not doing your
Speaker 1: part because you're lonely. And I say this a lot.
Speaker 1: I remember when one of my friends, her daughter is
Speaker 1: my goddaughter. She she sent me a text message one
Speaker 1: day and asked me like to help her basically write
Speaker 1: a letter to my goddaughter graduating from high school. And
Speaker 1: one of the main things I said for her to
Speaker 1: put in this letters like get comfortable being alone, you know,
Speaker 1: be okay with yourself. You know. Yeah that And it's
Speaker 1: really not though, because I do like solitude. I do
Speaker 1: like being by myself.
Speaker 3: And you're ever seeing you be single. I've been you
Speaker 3: be like a man, you be like consistently with a
Speaker 3: new nigga.
Speaker 1: That's not true. See it's mental though, right. I might physically,
Speaker 1: but they don't God me, mentally.
Speaker 3: You got another nigga already. God damn, I can't have
Speaker 3: a nigga. I never have a nigga. This nigga have
Speaker 3: a new nigga every couple of months.
Speaker 1: It's the physical, not the mental anyway, girls, I'm telling
Speaker 1: my business like I want to be telling it. It
Speaker 1: is also revealed how sometimes single mothers put the responsibility
Speaker 1: on their sons to be the man of the house
Speaker 1: and absence of their fathers.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, So that's Bernardine Bernadine definitely, and I know women
Speaker 3: like not Bernardine.
Speaker 1: That's the character of that Gloria, Yeah, Gloria.
Speaker 3: Gloria does that, who was played by Loretta Devine. She
Speaker 3: definitely enmeshed her son like and just treated him like
Speaker 3: he was her man instead of her son, and didn't
Speaker 3: want him to go hang out with friends, want him
Speaker 3: to travel, didn't want him to experience because she had
Speaker 3: put that responsibility on her son to be her man. Yeah,
Speaker 3: she stopped doing that. It's a lot of y'all moms
Speaker 3: out here listening to us right now. Stop doing that
Speaker 3: to your son, not his responsibility.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so they lean on you know, when I
Speaker 1: checked into the hotel when I went to Dallas last week,
Speaker 1: I told the girl at the desk, like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: do a podcast, so you know, I sent it to
Speaker 1: her so she could listen to a young girl. And
Speaker 1: she was like, you know, y'all should do an episode
Speaker 1: on black women and their sons. And I didn't understand
Speaker 1: what she was talking about until she like explained more.
Speaker 1: Because she's the daughter, right, and she has a brother
Speaker 1: that the mom you know, puts you on this pedestal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I explained to her this is what it is,
Speaker 1: because she is using her son as a place filler
Speaker 1: for the man she doesn't have. So when I say
Speaker 1: I don't like men who got mamas, this is exactly
Speaker 1: why I need your mom to be in a healthy relationship.
Speaker 1: So she's not interfering in ours, right, That's it, you know.
Speaker 1: So it goes on to say, we see a normal
Speaker 1: We see a normality of women settling for temporary satisfaction
Speaker 1: with married men in exchange for a false reality of companionship.
Speaker 1: Reassurance can provide the comfort of a weighted blanket, even
Speaker 1: if it is an illusion.
Speaker 3: And now that's Savanna played by Whitney Houston.
Speaker 1: Yep, And they remember the scene where Bernadine met the
Speaker 1: guy played by Wesley Snipes.
Speaker 3: Oh, I think no. First of all, Bernadine Angela Bassett
Speaker 3: met Herbert. Who Herbert, he's harmless. Now he was married
Speaker 3: when she went and fucked him.
Speaker 1: And it's kind of like, all.
Speaker 3: Right, you upset about your husband leaving and then you
Speaker 3: went and fuck somebody else's husband. I've seen contradictory it is,
Speaker 3: And see that's why I beat bitches up because it
Speaker 3: would be the hypocrisy for me. How you smashing somebody
Speaker 3: else man, but you don't want nobody smashing your man.
Speaker 1: Like what goes around comes around.
Speaker 3: You're doing some shit you just got finished doing. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I ain't gonna sit up here on this
Speaker 1: goddamn what kind of Mike's Jesus? On the sure Mike
Speaker 1: and Lions say that I never have sex with or
Speaker 1: fucked with somebody else's man, I absolutely have. That's why
Speaker 1: I'm never surprised when it shit happens to me. It
Speaker 1: just you just can't be an habitual side bitch when
Speaker 1: it comes to me, Like you just can't always be
Speaker 1: trying to fuck on my man. It's a problem for me,
Speaker 1: right stothing a.
Speaker 3: Part time.
Speaker 1: You get four times to fuck my nigga, and on
Speaker 1: a full time I'm beating your ass cause the niggas
Speaker 1: for everybody.
Speaker 3: Listen, I ain't never been with nobody, uh.
Speaker 1: Girl, Come on, come on, okay, come on, never love.
Speaker 3: You next s lot.
Speaker 1: You make me made me click off my damn slides.
Speaker 1: Hold No one, we got a in this day, I
Speaker 1: why you're.
Speaker 3: Trying to find it? While grieving in the moment of
Speaker 3: love loss, one would settle for just being held to
Speaker 3: remind themselves that they too have some level of capacity.
Speaker 1: M hm. And that was the scene with her and
Speaker 1: I don't even know what his name was in the movie.
Speaker 3: Do you know you remember Wesley Snipes? No, I don't remember.
Speaker 1: I remember, but yeah, they didn't have sex. They just
Speaker 1: met at a bar in a hotel and they just
Speaker 1: spent the night together just for some intimacy.
Speaker 3: He's still cheated on his wife by doing that.
Speaker 1: Well, his wife was was terminally ill also, you know,
Speaker 1: so if I was a terminally ill wife, like please
Speaker 1: go live your life, I would not want somebody to
Speaker 1: be like just at my bedside.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I would want them at my bedsite.
Speaker 3: But I would understand if he was cuddling with somebody
Speaker 3: to be comforted in the mister my you know me dying?
Speaker 1: Do you remember? I can't remember her name though, This
Speaker 1: is just I have to find a story and tell
Speaker 1: you all about it. But it was a black woman.
Speaker 1: She was very famous, like on social media and stuff,
Speaker 1: and she had got like Parkinson. No, she had got dementia.
Speaker 1: I believe she came she was diagnosed with dementia and
Speaker 1: she was declining like so imagine like I don't know,
Speaker 1: Oprah renfree all of a sudden, and and her husband
Speaker 1: now has has her propped up with his new white
Speaker 1: bitch next to him, like there's still yeah, he's now
Speaker 1: moved his new woman in while he cares for his.
Speaker 3: Wait till my dad. I'm still living, God damn.
Speaker 1: And y'all on my page right the nerve.
Speaker 3: But some niggas will just leave you to feel for yourself.
Speaker 3: So I guess that's better than that. But it's don't
Speaker 3: bring that bitch, don't have, we don't need, We ain't
Speaker 3: in no throuble because I'm sick.
Speaker 1: And she just looking sitting there, looking out of place,
Speaker 1: just wondering, you know, herself anymore?
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right. The next line says, and how could
Speaker 3: we forget the fact that sometimes parents will project the
Speaker 3: areas of lacking their life and try to control your
Speaker 3: destiny based off of their fear.
Speaker 1: Been there barn mm hmm.
Speaker 3: So that mama was encouraging her to sleep with somebody
Speaker 3: else's husband and have and build a relationship with someone
Speaker 3: as a husband because she didn't want her to end
Speaker 3: up alone like her, he's a good man, Savannah. We
Speaker 3: shared that line so much, but he really wasn't. He
Speaker 3: wasn't good a good man at all.
Speaker 1: He was not good at all. And you know, I
Speaker 1: kind of had that issue with my mama man still
Speaker 1: talking to my ex fiance, like, get off the phone
Speaker 1: with that nigga. And it was only because that nigga
Speaker 1: could build shit from scratch and she didn't have that
Speaker 1: her own relationship, like somebody who was like hands on
Speaker 1: could do all the things that she likes to do
Speaker 1: and doing with her Like I'm being abused by this nigga.
Speaker 3: Some carpety.
Speaker 1: She like, keep talking to him so you can put
Speaker 1: this tile up in the kitchen. First break up that
Speaker 1: really happened in real life, Mama, hey girl, or the
Speaker 1: next one? So I said. The common theme in that
Speaker 1: the common theme is that black women are expected to
Speaker 1: settle and see wherever you land, even if it means
Speaker 1: sharing with someone else. A lot of the things, a
Speaker 1: lot of things can build up, but how does one
Speaker 1: release when these things get too heavy? And it says
Speaker 1: now again, I watched this as a kid and won't
Speaker 1: take away from it being a classic, But now as
Speaker 1: an adult, I question if the title Waiting to Exhale
Speaker 1: is a sign of foreshadowing that may never come. Y'all,
Speaker 1: let me know what y'all think and see. Thus now
Speaker 1: our conversation about these characters in the movie, because really,
Speaker 1: waiting takes hell. Were y'all really like they damn show
Speaker 1: was their damn show was waiting? Yeah? And I feel
Speaker 1: like these characters still exist today amongst the women and
Speaker 1: then the archaeotype, like these men also still exist. These
Speaker 1: same type of relationships still go on, and you just
Speaker 1: throw social media on tomics, right. Imagine if they had
Speaker 1: social media, then Bernardine would have been on Instagram blasting
Speaker 1: the shit out that white lady.
Speaker 3: Somebody would have took a video of her all up
Speaker 3: on Herbert in the club.
Speaker 1: Exactly. The slap would have been on the internet in
Speaker 1: real time. You know, if social media existed, somebody would
Speaker 1: have been in that office recording that shit. Like you
Speaker 1: really could get away with murder back in the day.
Speaker 1: Now not so much. Yeah, ye.
Speaker 3: The pool side, Yeah, we getting pictures of you ho exactly,
Speaker 3: So here's like the I guess like the character breakdowns.
Speaker 1: Right. So Savannah, which is played by Whitney Houston, she's
Speaker 1: a successful career woman searching for love. Okay, so that's
Speaker 1: a lot of women's stories. Like you know that you
Speaker 1: got the men out here, the Red pel community and
Speaker 1: other regular black men are saying, we don't give a
Speaker 1: shit about y'all degrees, jobs, y'all be acting nasty when
Speaker 1: you get them, and you know, we just want good women, right.
Speaker 1: But it is the more money you make, the more
Speaker 1: assets you acquire, sometimes it is hard to find love,
Speaker 1: you know, because who really loves you? Who's trying to
Speaker 1: use you? It's like we have to we have to
Speaker 1: really And then the successful men don't really want a
Speaker 1: woman that's as successful as them. It's like some maybe
Speaker 1: it's a subconscious thing for them. I don't know that they.
Speaker 3: Don't even realize a power thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you can't really control this woman in a way.
Speaker 1: Or maybe maybe women the more degrees you get, the
Speaker 1: more money you make, maybe you aren't culchable, Maybe you
Speaker 1: can't be led. You know, that's something to think about.
Speaker 3: What was a nigga name?
Speaker 1: Who?
Speaker 3: Uh? Who? She's like? I gave him twenty dollars. Gas
Speaker 3: came to seven dollars and he didn't even bring me
Speaker 3: my change and he was in here her tooth brush
Speaker 3: and shit, there was like.
Speaker 1: And it was over like a couple like thirtys That
Speaker 1: was the guy Robin was fucking with, right that Savannah?
Speaker 3: Really, Yeah, I'm gonna keep it at the zoo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know the damn movie orbat him nut.
Speaker 3: I noticed movie Girl and I just watched it over again.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so it says you. So she's trying to
Speaker 1: like maintain her Savannah's trying to maintain her self respect
Speaker 1: and recognize when a relationship isn't serving her right. So
Speaker 1: that's a lot of our stories, like being able to
Speaker 1: see when she's not working out and walk away earlyer.
Speaker 3: That's that be the part for me, mm hmm, because
Speaker 3: I'll be mad about something and be like, I'm done
Speaker 3: with this motherfucker, and then when I'm unmad, I let
Speaker 3: him come back.
Speaker 1: The thing is I don't never get unmad because I
Speaker 1: do hold grudges, right, So then what keeps happening is
Speaker 1: that I'm just adjusting. I'm just like living in like
Speaker 1: just adjusting. And you may not like who are to
Speaker 1: come after a while, I'm.
Speaker 3: Not mad no more. I had to make a video
Speaker 3: to myself. Look, I'm you're fucking stupid again.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't be like just mad, let's just consistently mad.
Speaker 1: But I I don't never forget you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So you think shit cool. I it's here and it
Speaker 1: ain't going nowhere. I may not act mad every single
Speaker 1: day because that's just not my I don't walk around mad.
Speaker 1: I'm just my normal setting is happy.
Speaker 3: So you don't let shit go.
Speaker 1: Not really, I just put a people either. I don't.
Speaker 1: It's not about not letting things go okay once Okay,
Speaker 1: I put a sticky note on you, right. I may
Speaker 1: not let that thing determine how I handle things with
Speaker 1: you in the future. But if there is, like uh,
Speaker 1: if I can tie this new thing to that thing,
Speaker 1: it still exists. It's not that I didn't forget about it.
Speaker 1: You're still doing the thing. Okay, you see what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: So that I won't say that. I just hold grudges
Speaker 1: and I'm just not fuck with you no more because
Speaker 1: obviously I've fucked with people who have done some super
Speaker 1: dirty shit to me, and I do give grace and
Speaker 1: room for people to grow the same way I need
Speaker 1: room to grow. But if the shit looked fucking routine,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna forget. I remember because I got it.
Speaker 1: I've been at a sticky note on your ass. I
Speaker 1: don't forget to the Bernardine character, which I think everybody
Speaker 1: loves her character, right, I feel like she has like
Speaker 1: had like the biggest, biggest part and the biggest storyline
Speaker 1: in the movie for the most part. So I mean
Speaker 1: her husband did the worst shit you could think of, right,
Speaker 1: you help this man build this company together, I mean
Speaker 1: build this company. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Now,
Speaker 1: he's just like discarding you. You got children for him,
Speaker 1: and he's like, I'll get them for the holidays, like
Speaker 1: just not leaving you with nothing, which I don't even
Speaker 1: understand how that can even happen. Like she put her
Speaker 1: whole life to the side for his dreams.
Speaker 3: She made him her whole life. She did. We should
Speaker 3: all take a lesson from that, because you'll fall in
Speaker 3: love and you know, want to be the most supportive
Speaker 3: partner and lose yourself and look up. And this nigga
Speaker 3: has all this money now and done all these things
Speaker 3: and if he don't love you anymore, now you just
Speaker 3: lost her. King was definitely lost after this, like cut
Speaker 3: my hair. If you don't come with a cut it,
Speaker 3: I'll cut the shit like she didn't even know, like
Speaker 3: you know, who she was was anymore without her.
Speaker 1: And then in today's time, Bernardine would be on social
Speaker 1: media and there would be men calling her washed up
Speaker 1: and baggage, baggage and all this shit because she gave
Speaker 1: a man her whole life. Yep, you know, and now
Speaker 1: they're acting like, Okay, you can't do any better. You know,
Speaker 1: nobody wants you now, which is bullshit.
Speaker 3: Niggas at the seven and eleventh the other night where
Speaker 3: the night got on the rollers in her head call
Speaker 3: I had to take my girlfriend home.
Speaker 1: Do you remember that, yeah, dean man, Like, so I
Speaker 1: am guilty of definitely losing myself in a relationship and
Speaker 1: looking at not doing my hair no more. Meanwhile, this
Speaker 1: nigga making jokes by how he looks younger than me,
Speaker 1: and shit, because you are literally stealing my life force, right,
Speaker 1: you know, because women we give a lot of ourselves
Speaker 1: a lot of times, you know what I'm saying to
Speaker 1: our partners. So I just don't know where the narrative
Speaker 1: comes from that black women don't build with black men.
Speaker 1: I just don't know where the fuck that came from.
Speaker 1: If there's a lot of women who stopped, Okay, we
Speaker 1: only concerned about ourselves now mm hmm, But there are
Speaker 1: a lot of women out here who still.
Speaker 3: I think it's okay. I you know, I'm definitely open
Speaker 3: to it. I would definitely want to build with a
Speaker 3: black man. I want to create legacy and build something.
Speaker 3: I just don't It has to be a healthy balance
Speaker 3: where I'm not lost in the sauce, you know, where
Speaker 3: I'm so overcome with your goals and dreams that I
Speaker 3: forget my own. That's what I'm afraid of. You know
Speaker 3: that also happens with women who become mothers. You know,
Speaker 3: they get so caught up in being a good mom
Speaker 3: that they forget themselves.
Speaker 1: I think what most women are looking for is just reciprocity.
Speaker 1: Like you know what I'm saying. We just wanted to
Speaker 1: be reciprocal. If I do a few, you do for me, Like,
Speaker 1: why can it not be like that? It's like a
Speaker 1: lot of men are looking for therapists and they're also
Speaker 1: looking for a secretary get somebody to do busy work
Speaker 1: for them, things that they don't feel like doing, even
Speaker 1: when you already have a whole plate full of shit
Speaker 1: as an adult to do, you know, because let's not
Speaker 1: forget we work also we do shit. And then now
Speaker 1: it comes to Robin played by Leila Rashwan. So she
Speaker 1: just has all these like casual relationships and shit. I
Speaker 1: think she has a problem like establishing what her self
Speaker 1: worth actually is and it comes out in promiscuity. Right,
Speaker 1: So I think nearing the end of the movie you
Speaker 1: kind of see where she just I'm done with this shit.
Speaker 1: I might to be by myself.
Speaker 3: She just wanted to be love and she was a
Speaker 3: bit naive too.
Speaker 1: You think he's sole about wallet, Yes, bitch, yes, it's
Speaker 1: like that bigga stole three to five dollars out my
Speaker 1: damn poker book while he was giving me some head,
Speaker 1: same shit.
Speaker 3: Enjoying their little life while you care, girlfriend. What a
Speaker 3: low life while you care girlfriend? And see it's the
Speaker 3: it's the characters like Robin.
Speaker 1: Right. She she actually, you know what, expressed how she
Speaker 1: wanted a relationship, how she wanted to be loved. Now
Speaker 1: we got the whole fucking nigga culture out here now.
Speaker 1: But y'all are having kids for these men, right, y'all
Speaker 1: too want to be loved. That's really what women want.
Speaker 1: So while you out here, yeah, so why are you
Speaker 1: out here saying? You know you're doing it for me?
Speaker 1: You fucking all these niggas for you? You sure?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Are you really sure? You know what I'm saying? Like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm all for a woman empowerment and you know, being
Speaker 1: able to do whatever you want to do with your huha.
Speaker 1: That is absolutely fine. But let's go back to earlier
Speaker 1: we talked back HOWE doesn't heal period?
Speaker 3: Okay, I listen everybody that I got, I take it
Speaker 3: back right now, every single one of us.
Speaker 1: You hear me. I feel like, who the fuck would
Speaker 1: I keep on the rgenda? Like nobody, nobody, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I don't feel like I missed out
Speaker 1: on anybody I ever been with, period, And I could
Speaker 1: still get the niggas back if I wanted.
Speaker 3: To listen and not saying that everybody was just awful
Speaker 3: human beings. It just was a waste of agenda. So
Speaker 3: waste of my agenda for my agenda. All right. Then
Speaker 3: there was Gloria Gloria was one of my favorite characters
Speaker 3: because such a mama. She's such a mama bear, not
Speaker 3: just to her son but to all of them. Seem
Speaker 3: like right, yeah, And.
Speaker 1: She liked the senior friend. I don't know if she
Speaker 1: was on the same age with them or not, but
Speaker 1: she just always seems so much older than any role
Speaker 1: she plays Loretta divine.
Speaker 3: But I think once you become a mama, sometimes happens
Speaker 3: to you. You already just that role happens where you
Speaker 3: just kind of calm down, become the mama bear for everybody.
Speaker 3: Sometimes you out here with kids.
Speaker 1: And she had the oldest well between her and Bernardine,
Speaker 1: I think they were only two with kids and her
Speaker 1: son was older. So that, you know, lead us to
Speaker 1: believe that she got probably married young, had the child,
Speaker 1: and now she's fine in love later on in.
Speaker 3: Life, right, And then having her ex, the person that
Speaker 3: she you know, looks too for Roman tell her that
Speaker 3: he's now gay. On that part, she was like, you
Speaker 3: don't have to pretend to be You don't got to
Speaker 3: do all of that, nigga. You know, I'm not joking,
Speaker 3: It's is serious. You know, I've been bisexual for a
Speaker 3: long time. And now fully gay.
Speaker 1: I forgot about that part, bitch. That is definitely some
Speaker 1: nowadays type shit.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. That is so current, that's very current. It
Speaker 3: was ahead of his time, actually.
Speaker 1: But at least he was honest, you know, That's that
Speaker 1: doesn't happen often nowadays. We find out in the clinic,
Speaker 1: we find out from the from the men.
Speaker 3: But you know, honestly, a lot of these women today,
Speaker 3: I won't say a lot, but some, especially younger women,
Speaker 3: are preferring that they man be bisexual or gay. What
Speaker 3: it was Doci saying, like a red flag is a
Speaker 3: straight man. She was being I hope she was being
Speaker 3: sarcastic and not. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But even in that case, right, even though you
Speaker 1: have women out here who are openly like accepting to
Speaker 1: that type of situation, you still have the men being
Speaker 1: deceitful because I think they get off on being sneaky.
Speaker 1: You know, they still go after the women who are
Speaker 1: okay with you. I'd be telling the truth, I'd be
Speaker 1: telling the truth. I'm not being hard on them. These
Speaker 1: are like the hard facts HIV and I'm listen, I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to put that stigma on gay men. But
Speaker 1: the statistic show. I saw some data that said seventy
Speaker 1: two of trans women have HIV. That is high.
Speaker 3: I need to see that. I don't know if that's true.
Speaker 1: I swear to God. I swear to God my vagina.
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, but I'm saying maybe the publication was reporting
Speaker 3: some some things that might be not factual to promote,
Speaker 3: like trans hate or something.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so. I think that ud. You
Speaker 1: read that book back in the day, the d O
Speaker 1: bro Dl brother.
Speaker 3: Did you read that book? Dog?
Speaker 1: That shit was so eye opening? Another other shit I
Speaker 1: should probably not have been reading in twelfth grade problem,
Speaker 1: I mean, why not? But was it that long ago?
Speaker 1: I might have been in college at the time when
Speaker 1: that book came out. But this is a supposed heterosexual
Speaker 1: man who's now out right, and then he's talking about
Speaker 1: that DL world Eric Jeron Dickie. I can't remember the guy.
Speaker 1: I can't remember the author who wrote it ball head,
Speaker 1: nice looking black man.
Speaker 3: I think it might be that, but I might be wrong.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but he he puts some stuff and now I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: this is fucking scary, you know, just like them not
Speaker 1: wanting to use condoms, because then they are consciously now
Speaker 1: you because you put that condom on, You're about to
Speaker 1: have sex with this man. You are consciously making a
Speaker 1: decision to have sex with a man. So they actually
Speaker 1: were not having sex with me, because then they can
Speaker 1: pretend like, I don't know, it's just like some old
Speaker 1: out of body shit like it wasn't me, it was
Speaker 1: the ship was deep. Okay, it was too deep, man.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, so who do you more? Who do
Speaker 1: you more?
Speaker 3: That's what I was about to ask you, Like which
Speaker 3: one of you? If I had to identify with a
Speaker 3: character most, I feel like I'm a hybrid. First of all,
Speaker 3: there's a little bit of me and every one of
Speaker 3: these characters can identify with all in certain ways. But
Speaker 3: if I had to, it's not for Gloria because we
Speaker 3: meant no kids for real. I guess no. But I
Speaker 3: can't identify with being selfish. She's selfish with her son.
Speaker 3: She wanted him to stay home, she didn't want him
Speaker 3: to go out for New Year's Eve. You know, she
Speaker 3: was always on him. You know, I can identify with
Speaker 3: that because I can be like that, you know. But
Speaker 3: I would have to say Robin and Savannah mostly being
Speaker 3: gold driven and you know, want in love and trying
Speaker 3: not to reconcile my career, my ambitions for a relationship,
Speaker 3: but still wanting those things. And then Robin sometimes being
Speaker 3: I know, I can be a hopeless romantic and be
Speaker 3: a bit naive and try to like see everything through
Speaker 3: rose colored glasses into instead of seeing things for what
Speaker 3: they really are sometimes because it's just better to like
Speaker 3: be in this fairy tale than to be in a reality.
Speaker 3: I definitely can identify with Robin with that now, with
Speaker 3: that stealing money out my purse. Oh no, that's where
Speaker 3: I dont lie. You know, I lost your minds them.
Speaker 1: I definitely think I'm a hybrid between Savannah and Robin
Speaker 1: as well, with a little dash of Bernardine because I
Speaker 1: won't help a nigga build some shit, right. I think
Speaker 1: I'm more Savannah when I'm in a relationship gun and
Speaker 1: I'm more Robbing when I'm single, because when I'm single,
Speaker 1: I give myself a mission to do all the things.
Speaker 1: But I am simultaneously looking for love, like I'm looking
Speaker 1: for another relationship. May not be consciously looking, and things
Speaker 1: might just happen, but I and I already kind of
Speaker 1: be knowing, like where I want to go at next too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I bet I know you.
Speaker 1: But look, this is the first time in life I'm
Speaker 1: really like, you know, if this current relationship doesn't work out,
Speaker 1: I'm cool. I swear. That's where I'm at, Like, I'm
Speaker 1: really cool on you know. If something happens, something happens.
Speaker 1: If it doesn't, it doesn't, I'm not actively This shit
Speaker 1: is not easy, dog, Okay, it's not easy.
Speaker 3: It's not so.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like this would be my last
Speaker 1: relationship honestly that I would like actively be trying to pursue.
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 3: I don't believe that.
Speaker 1: I swear to God, girl, you is the love of girl.
Speaker 3: The fuck you talk about?
Speaker 1: You know, life is this life, especially in America, it's
Speaker 1: just based off of double occupancy. You are not supposed
Speaker 1: to be out here trying to do it by yourself. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So I have always been
Speaker 1: looking for a teammate, a real life teammate, and I
Speaker 1: just never got that for real. Out of any of
Speaker 1: my partners. The closest I got to it was was
Speaker 1: the guy I was going to marry, but he was
Speaker 1: just not a good manager. You know, these niggas want
Speaker 1: to lead, like you, you are not a good manager.
Speaker 1: Your fucking employees be trying to get the fuck from
Speaker 1: around you too, Like you're just not a good manager.
Speaker 1: So I am somebody who could be led if you
Speaker 1: leading me in the right direction. And I also want
Speaker 1: somebody who can be led, like I want to be
Speaker 1: able to teach and be taught. That's what I would
Speaker 1: like in a relationship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fair. I definitely want somebody to steer the ship.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be in charge.
Speaker 1: You say that until it happens. Girl, That's exactly what
Speaker 1: I tell my mom, Like my stepdaddy is made for you. Okay,
Speaker 1: you think you want a strong man, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: be able to do the type of ship to them
Speaker 1: that you think.
Speaker 3: I don't want to do the type of ship. I
Speaker 3: want someone. I've been the captain of this ship for
Speaker 3: a long time. I want somebody to come and steer.
Speaker 3: I want someone that I could be like, I trust
Speaker 3: him to make good decisions. Now, I don't want like
Speaker 3: a dictator. I don't want to like.
Speaker 1: It's a thin line, like for real, Like it's just
Speaker 1: I just haven't been able to find that sweet spot,
Speaker 1: like the middle ground. Yeah, it's either they leaning on
Speaker 1: you too much or they bullying you. Like the fuck,
Speaker 1: where is the sweet spot?
Speaker 3: That's what I want, the sweet spot. Someone who can
Speaker 3: trust my counsel, but you know, has a good uh
Speaker 3: a good decision maker, you know. Yeah, yeah, that's what
Speaker 3: I would like. One thing I want to say is
Speaker 3: that I can appreciate from this movie is because they
Speaker 3: had some fucked up scenarios going on, but it wasn't
Speaker 3: no judgment amongst them. Like, there wasn't out there just
Speaker 3: harshly judging each other. And we didn't see them talking
Speaker 3: talking about each other behind their back and see none
Speaker 3: of that you ladies, y'all be doing that to y'all friends,
Speaker 3: y'all been a job.
Speaker 1: So let's just get into like that. Then let's just
Speaker 1: get into like how important, like the like just the
Speaker 1: power of female friendships are because you got a lot
Speaker 1: of women out here to be like I just got homeboys,
Speaker 1: like girl, get you're ugly.
Speaker 3: Right, female friends. That's a red flag for me because
Speaker 3: how you don't have no sisters. I love my girls,
Speaker 3: I love you. You know, I want us to be great.
Speaker 3: I I you know, I ain't gonna sit here a
Speaker 3: lot I have talked shit like I would be like.
Speaker 1: It ain't shit. You ain't gonna talk to them too,
Speaker 1: that you wouldn't talk to them?
Speaker 3: No, probably I already talked to them, and now I'm
Speaker 3: vitting to somebody else. Why we argue about the ship.
Speaker 3: I said, now one thing I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: say what I'm gonna say. Now, you know, I don't
Speaker 3: really like throw the rock and hote my hand type
Speaker 3: of girl. I'm gonna definitely say what I Yeah, I
Speaker 3: said that, Yeah, I said it. I said to you first,
Speaker 3: you know, like you know, so you don't have to
Speaker 3: question that, which is a gift and a curse too,
Speaker 3: because sometimes shit don't need to be said to them
Speaker 3: or nobody. You know.
Speaker 1: See you have a friend group where everybody is like
Speaker 1: a bunch of people in the friend group, right See,
Speaker 1: I don't really have that anymore. It's like it's splintered now.
Speaker 1: So I got like friends from high school. I got
Speaker 1: my best friend from high school, and then I have
Speaker 1: my couple friends from college who not like there was
Speaker 1: a group, right but some are gone and then some
Speaker 1: still here that I still communicate with. Where we don't
Speaker 1: communicate with the other people that's out the group, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So it's kind of splintered my
Speaker 1: friend my friend groups. But then I have like one
Speaker 1: off people like my homegirl Killer who I met when
Speaker 1: I lived in Saint Louis, Like she know everybody fucking business,
Speaker 1: but I don't necessarily tell people her business, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, because these people ain't gonna never
Speaker 1: meet no way. So if I'm vtting about some shit
Speaker 1: that a friend from this other friend group did, like
Speaker 1: there would be no reason for Kayla to ever give
Speaker 1: me this to this person. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I never like talking shit with roommate. Yes, I
Speaker 1: don't really have a friend group to talk shit about
Speaker 1: a friend then where everybody knows that person. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: see what I'm saying, And.
Speaker 3: That can become a problem. It can become a big
Speaker 3: problem when you have like a friend group and y'all
Speaker 3: vent to each other about shit with each other. I've
Speaker 3: seen that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so that is a that is a plus.
Speaker 1: That is the thing that we saw on the show
Speaker 1: where black women were really showing up for each other
Speaker 1: in her real way and not beating each other backs
Speaker 1: and on the lower because even need that.
Speaker 3: Even the scene when Gloria, Loretta Devine and Savannah Whitney
Speaker 3: Houston were on the ferris wheel and she was like,
Speaker 3: can I ask you a question? She was like, did
Speaker 3: you get with Herbert? She was like, I needed to
Speaker 3: get late, so I did. She's like, now he come
Speaker 3: into my house calling all times to night, like Herbert wanted.
Speaker 1: That pussy again bad.
Speaker 3: But Gloria definitely was disappointed in her, but she didn't
Speaker 3: treat her poorly or call her a hole or beat
Speaker 3: her down. Ask her friend, and y'all do that to
Speaker 3: each other. You gotta start.
Speaker 1: And I mean, as a woman, I just don't know
Speaker 1: how you get through life without like just some type
Speaker 1: of support system from other women. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: We all be going through some of the same similar shit.
Speaker 1: I remember my homegirl when I left my ex, like
Speaker 1: she had left hers first. She left her dude first, right,
Speaker 1: so it's like we were like bonding over these narks essentially, right,
Speaker 1: she left hers. I left mine for real and I
Speaker 1: was done. I was fucking done. But she went back.
Speaker 1: I'm like, bitch, wit you breaking the cold? What happened?
Speaker 1: You know? But I still supported her and going back,
Speaker 1: and I still you know when she had had still
Speaker 1: ongoing bullshit with this person that she was still because
Speaker 1: they were married, so it was a little bit different, right,
Speaker 1: I didn't get to the marriage stage. She was actually
Speaker 1: married to this person, right, so you know, I was
Speaker 1: still listening to her when she was going through all
Speaker 1: the things. Never judged her, none of that shit. Like, girl,
Speaker 1: I understand, I get it, I understand it. But in
Speaker 1: the back of my mind, I'm like, what the fuck
Speaker 1: did you go back? It wasn't gonna be any different.
Speaker 1: I really don't think people change much when you get
Speaker 1: to a certain age. So you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: if you change, it's not gonna be for you, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be for the next woman, right.
Speaker 3: Were the same person, they may not change. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So we want to know from y'all, like tell
Speaker 1: us the time, like where one of your homegirls like
Speaker 1: have helped you through a really tough time. They don't
Speaker 1: even have to be about relationships with a man or
Speaker 1: a woman whatever, because you know, y'all, y'all motherfuckers is gay.
Speaker 1: I know anything. I know it's fun. It's fun because
Speaker 1: I just be playing that's right. But yeah, so which
Speaker 1: friend do you think you are and your friend group?
Speaker 1: Based on these characters?
Speaker 3: Which friend do I think I am? Yeah, I'm definitely Gloria.
Speaker 3: As a friend, I'm definitely Gloria.
Speaker 1: Oh and I'm Robin because I'll be ready to like
Speaker 1: call this ain't John bitch.
Speaker 3: I'll be definitely the one on the phone. Cut some
Speaker 3: motherfucker out by my friend. Put me on the phone,
Speaker 3: give me the phone. I'm so I'm robbing in that way.
Speaker 3: But I'm definitely Gloria in the I can be like
Speaker 3: very nurturing and I get real motherly on my friends.
Speaker 3: Come lay on my shoulder. Here's my shoulder. We're gonna
Speaker 3: get through this together. I love you and I'm gonna
Speaker 3: support you hugely and you're gonna feel it. So I
Speaker 3: think i'm that too.
Speaker 1: I think I'm Bernardine and Robin. I just like how
Speaker 1: angry Bernardine was, Like that's high being when I get
Speaker 1: to level ten for real, like you said, as a friend, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, as I'm just thinking about, like, yeah, still
Speaker 1: bitch as a friend, but Bernadine got angry as a friend,
Speaker 1: I ain't see that. I will get angry and blow
Speaker 1: up my friend. Car up, I'm just playing you ain't bitch, No,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think that for whatever reason, I feel like I
Speaker 1: probably possess all these women, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: and some type of ways. As a friend, would I
Speaker 1: be asking Gloria like did you fuck that nigga? And
Speaker 1: absolutely I'm the friend that keeps tally of the niggas
Speaker 1: you've had sex with. So when you forget and act
Speaker 1: like you ain't ever cheat on your nigga, I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 1: you remember. See that's what I don't tell you all
Speaker 1: about whole facts right there? Girls, I'd be like I
Speaker 1: telling y'all listen, I got a home. Girl ass just
Speaker 1: be lying to me like, which, I know you our
Speaker 1: whole lives?
Speaker 3: Like, girl, shut up, I forgot.
Speaker 1: And here I am going through my notes on my
Speaker 1: phone up phone on January twenty nineteen, girl, and with
Speaker 1: my whole whole facts. I'm not friend, okay, In case
Speaker 1: you forgot, I'm your whole facts, your whole fact checker. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think I probably am. I'm probably all of them
Speaker 1: wrapped up in one. I'm gonna be nurturing you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like like Gloria is could be serious, like Savannah,
Speaker 1: I could be ditsy like a Robin, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, not knowing what the fuck is going on,
Speaker 1: but not so much.
Speaker 3: But ready to turn up. Robin be the one that's
Speaker 3: that's me. And but you like, don't do that, y'all,
Speaker 3: like it's not worth it. So I guess you know,
Speaker 3: it's a little bit of every character in us.
Speaker 1: All. Yeah, Bernadette a little sneaky, she'd be done. She
Speaker 1: didn't even tell her friends about it. And until somebody
Speaker 1: asked about that, shit, that's me.
Speaker 3: Who are gonna tell her that nobody heard? Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: me a little bit.
Speaker 1: So I don't know. Do you think any of them
Speaker 1: had like some who had the most red flags as
Speaker 1: a woman, like you would think Robin Robin had the
Speaker 1: most red flags?
Speaker 3: What do you mean like when you say red flags?
Speaker 3: Like was she the most toxic or was she yeah,
Speaker 3: the most toxic? Shit both?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Because you know, any I
Speaker 1: really feel like when you fuck with anybody, it's like
Speaker 1: a small aspect of who you are too. That's even
Speaker 1: with friends like me and you friends because there's a
Speaker 1: part of you that I'm like, you see what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So even with Robin fucking these dudes like that was
Speaker 1: still an aspect of her, Like however they were, was
Speaker 1: an aspect of her. You are who you beat basically.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I guess they all were equally
Speaker 3: toxic in their own way. I don't feel like anybody
Speaker 3: was more toxic than the other. And in terms of
Speaker 3: how they dealt with their situations, they were just women
Speaker 3: trying to figure it out. Man.
Speaker 1: So Robin, like she just always like was entertaining men
Speaker 1: that just weren't emotionally available.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Character what was his name.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Eric, the men the.
Speaker 3: Dark skinned one, she was like fat fuck.
Speaker 1: So. There was a Kenneth, there was a John, there
Speaker 1: was a Rustle, and there was a Troy.
Speaker 3: Troy, that's that's not Troy was the one Marvin have
Speaker 3: a fruit bowl, bitch.
Speaker 2: That was.
Speaker 1: A rebound disaster.
Speaker 3: It was the guy that worked with her that he
Speaker 3: was like, I own a house in Scottsdale. She's like,
Speaker 3: I want to go on vacations and dinner and you know,
Speaker 3: like I want to be happy. When she was in
Speaker 3: the bed with him. He was like, oh, coming him,
Speaker 3: what was his name? I don't remember. I don't know, yeah,
Speaker 3: I can't remember. But that was another time where Gloria
Speaker 3: was like, well, remember you broke up with him, so
Speaker 3: don't embarrass us and don't embarrass yourself. Just be a
Speaker 3: motherly yes, don't forget bitch, right, like the only one
Speaker 3: that was like stable and like could have taken her serious.
Speaker 1: But she didn't like him, you see, because she liked
Speaker 1: the emotionally unavailable men.
Speaker 3: So right, don't look at me, bitch.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 3: That's why I said her in so many ways only
Speaker 3: except for the money part, the nigga stealing from me
Speaker 3: because I hold lodallar so tight, the eagle scream on
Speaker 3: that bitch, do not play with me by my money.
Speaker 1: Shame. So let's just let's quickly go through like the
Speaker 1: different archetypes of these men, right quick, and wrap this
Speaker 1: shit the fuck up. So Kenneth was the married manipulator, okay, charming,
Speaker 1: emotionally manipulative, and full of all the fucking empty promises.
Speaker 1: He even convinced, go ahead.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, you went to so self righteous
Speaker 3: when you were fucking my brains out.
Speaker 1: So he convinced Savannah that that she's special while refusing
Speaker 1: to leave his wife. Right, so he just wanted her
Speaker 1: to wait to side. I mean, Whitney Houston had a
Speaker 1: whole song about it. How the song go, the sidebitch
Speaker 1: song with East.
Speaker 3: Oh, you're talking about the best side bitch anthem. First
Speaker 3: of all, I did not know that was a sidebach
Speaker 3: anthem until I got always knew. I always knew stolen moments.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you got your family and they need just.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what she may be in the sidebach sounds
Speaker 3: so beautiful.
Speaker 1: I know, it was so nice.
Speaker 3: We forgot.
Speaker 1: We didn't listen to the words. It's just sounding an
Speaker 1: angel singing about side bitch activity.
Speaker 3: About being in love with side digetivities.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so Kenneth was full of shit, Okay, but.
Speaker 3: The way I just feel like the way Savannah fans
Speaker 3: on him at the at the pool side, you ain't
Speaker 3: had to do all of that because you was complicit
Speaker 3: to this very moment, and now you so she wasn't. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but why are you not going to drink on him though?
Speaker 3: Just say you don't want to be involved no more
Speaker 3: and go, because you was complicit the whole time and
Speaker 3: he was okay with it, quiet while he on the
Speaker 3: phone with his bitch. Now you're mad, and now you're
Speaker 3: gonna throw a drink on him. I don't understand that.
Speaker 1: Part, because he was selling her a dream. Like you know,
Speaker 1: she probably initially started off being quiet, you know, while
Speaker 1: he on the phone, because he's supposed to eventually leave
Speaker 1: her for Savannah, leave his wife.
Speaker 3: Or then he said another baby on the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she just was aggravated and probably more mad at
Speaker 1: herself than him.
Speaker 3: That's that's who she should have been mad at, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so John John was like a He was like
Speaker 1: a selfish ass fucking narcissist right exactly, dismissive of his
Speaker 1: partner's sacrifices and financial financially controlling. Uh, And he.
Speaker 4: Leaves the motherfucking purple and fluid, and he leaves her,
Speaker 4: He leaves Bernandine for a younger woman with no remorse
Speaker 4: at all.
Speaker 1: He was cold as fuck, a younger white woman at that.
Speaker 1: But he would be dead today.
Speaker 3: To be better if you were black.
Speaker 1: Oh you know all the scenes, you are really in
Speaker 1: that job.
Speaker 3: I love I love movies, you know I love movies.
Speaker 1: Russell. He is the he's a bachelor, sing soccer, emotionally unavailable,
Speaker 1: commitment phobic. He uses this charm to get robbed in
Speaker 1: a psycle of hope and disappointment. Child, we don't need you,
Speaker 1: he was, and look, yeah, the modern equivalent to him
Speaker 1: would be like the person who avoids the labels. You know,
Speaker 1: I talked about a person before we started recording, okay,
Speaker 1: saying they're not ready for the relationship but still wants
Speaker 1: the benefits of one. Right, Yeah, that's who Russell is.
Speaker 1: So y'all a lot of y'all would Russell right the
Speaker 1: fuck now?
Speaker 3: Okay, a lot of y'all laying next to Russell right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And y'all really need to write Russell a letter
Speaker 1: like Elementary and say check yes or no so you
Speaker 1: can know what y'all got going on, because y'all just
Speaker 1: farmers right now, they got going on.
Speaker 3: They know.
Speaker 1: Women don't be okay, women, do they really be knowing?
Speaker 1: I feel like I be knowing right because I don't hallucinate.
Speaker 1: But sometimes people can get things confused with raw sex, trips,
Speaker 1: meeting families, meeting your children, all the things and the men,
Speaker 1: and I ask you, what are we doing? What are
Speaker 1: we It's like.
Speaker 3: Farmers, we just fucking around.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I do think women get confused because because
Speaker 1: why the man maybe like verbally saying one thing, he's
Speaker 1: physically doing something else. And then Toy is just like
Speaker 1: I said before, the rebound disaster. Okay, he's immature, he's reckless, disrespectful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Robin chaotic escape from her emotions, but it's not capable
Speaker 1: of providing true partnership. He's just so, he's just that
Speaker 1: nigga that he's the availability dick. Okay, you don't really
Speaker 1: want him, and the man you really want ain't available
Speaker 1: right now, so you're just settling for this bullshit and
Speaker 1: hopefully eventually you can get the fuck up out of there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was trying to get her to meet his
Speaker 3: mama and his son, and they had only been talking
Speaker 3: for three weeks or something like that. It wasn't even
Speaker 3: that long, yep.
Speaker 1: And then you got Gloria, right, Gloria has Marvin. They
Speaker 1: have him labeled as a genuine healer. Okay, he's supportive, patient,
Speaker 1: emotionally mature. He genuinely it cares for Gloria without manipulation
Speaker 1: or self selfish motives. So like a modern day equivalent
Speaker 1: to him would be just an emotionally secure partner who's
Speaker 1: ready for a committed relationship. And a lot of women
Speaker 1: ask for that. But I do also believe there's a
Speaker 1: lot of women, a lot of women ain't ready for it.
Speaker 1: A lot of women say they want a man that's
Speaker 1: emotionally intelligent. But he gonna call you fat. He's gonna
Speaker 1: tell you, baby, you need to work out, baby, he's
Speaker 1: going no, absolutely, he ain't gonna call you fat. He
Speaker 1: going come on, let's go to the gym, or or
Speaker 1: he's gonna tell you when you not showing up right
Speaker 1: completely for him.
Speaker 3: And I'm to receive it our part, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Are you able to receive an emotionally intelligent man? Because hey,
Speaker 1: you can't show up as an arc with him, right, okay?
Speaker 1: Because one thing about it, men are not dealing with
Speaker 1: the ship that we deal with as women. They're not
Speaker 1: doing it.
Speaker 3: And when Margaret told her the truth about how she
Speaker 3: was handling her son, she was mad. She could not
Speaker 3: handle it. She spassed out, she crashed out, leave, go
Speaker 3: get the fuck home, Go to your motherfucker house across
Speaker 3: the street, because my son about to leave it. You
Speaker 3: saying maybe he's not the one who needs to come
Speaker 3: to his census. She's like, bitch, get out. You remember
Speaker 3: that part m.
Speaker 1: Hm, and what she had to do. Go back and
Speaker 1: apologize that man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, who's this good man? Because you're trying to be
Speaker 3: attached to your son. Let that son go on mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Let him love because how you who's the man in
Speaker 1: the house. It's no room for me in here.
Speaker 3: Marvin was played by Damn. Name is on the tip
Speaker 3: of my tongue. He was a tap dancer. He's a
Speaker 3: very talented tap dancer in the eighties and nineties. Fuck
Speaker 3: that hurts my feelings. I don't know his name right now,
Speaker 3: and be on tip of my tongue anytime. Gregory Hines yep,
Speaker 3: mm hm, m hm, yep.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So we want to know which friend are you? Which,
Speaker 1: like just women are you in general when it comes
Speaker 1: to relationships? Out of these characters, what else we want
Speaker 1: to know?
Speaker 3: Okay, So, no, we got some homework for y'all this week.
Speaker 3: If y'all are journal girlies, even if you're not journal girlies,
Speaker 3: let's start all right, So get into your journal and
Speaker 3: right now, what's one toxic relationship pattern you're ready to
Speaker 3: exhale from?
Speaker 2: Mm?
Speaker 3: Write that shit down? For yourself, girlfriend, And what about
Speaker 3: writing down what would your waiting to exhale moment look
Speaker 3: like for you? And what's going on in your life
Speaker 3: and which character's journey inspires you the most? And why
Speaker 3: journal it? Bitch?
Speaker 1: I had that big town.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's get in. That's a good friend, thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yea, No, I'm gonna write my shit down. I
Speaker 1: got a lot of toxic traits, deflection, all types of shit,
Speaker 1: I know. But the thing is, i'd be consciously aware
Speaker 1: of the things I can. I can tell you what
Speaker 1: I did, And here's I actually like to tell people
Speaker 1: what I did wrong first, even like, let me tell
Speaker 1: you what I did first, and you tell me if
Speaker 1: I'm tripping it or not. That's when I really start
Speaker 1: with my shit, and then I'll tell you what else
Speaker 1: happened after that? Okay, what could have possibly what I
Speaker 1: could have possibly done to start the shit and maybe
Speaker 1: avoided the shit? Right, It's what I'm gonna start with
Speaker 1: most of the time.
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's getting on our journals, girlies, and let's
Speaker 3: write this shit down so we can be better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, better friends, better lovers, y'all like this?
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is fine, I know. Next week I want
Speaker 3: to do I really want to get into a thin
Speaker 3: line between eleve and hate. We need to talk about Brandy.
Speaker 3: Can we do it?
Speaker 1: We know of Brandy in real life too, same first
Speaker 1: and last name. Yeah, yeah, we want to let us
Speaker 1: know if y'all enjoyed this episode though, right, and we're
Speaker 1: gonna I want to do it. We could do like
Speaker 1: one more. We could break it down this ship, this
Speaker 1: is This was fun to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a lot of fun, all right, y'all.
Speaker 1: So if you enjoy this episode, y'all, tune in every
Speaker 1: Thursday and the Black Effect iHeart Radio app. Whoever the
Speaker 1: fuck you get your podcast that. This is your co
Speaker 1: host aj Holiday two point zero on Instagrams. We want
Speaker 1: to see them them journals all right, kick journal injuries.
Speaker 3: We want to see it and we want to read
Speaker 3: it and be nosy y'all. Is official tam Bam on Instagram.
Speaker 3: Please follow me. I love y'all so much. Thank y'all
Speaker 3: for tuning in. Remember speak now.
Speaker 1: And never hold your breath.
Speaker 3: Okay, never hold your breath. Breathe, bitch, breathe.
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