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Speaker 1: I am at the age at my big age.

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Speaker 2: You're not big age where it's big, Okay, all right,

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Speaker 2: at least my back am.

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Speaker 3: I'm at the big age where at forty being misunderstood

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Speaker 3: by people.

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Speaker 2: I don't really give a fluk.

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Speaker 1: I'm not there yet. You're not there yet. No, that's

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Speaker 1: all right.

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Speaker 2: I'm at a youthful age. I'm not saying big age.

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Speaker 2: I'm at a youthful age. Is youthful is ish? I'm

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Speaker 2: at a youthful is age where they look they're like,

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Speaker 2: stop lying and you can get it out if you

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Speaker 2: just say big age. You see what I'm saying. You

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Speaker 2: know what I'm not saying.

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Speaker 1: I am at a youthful ish age where.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes people's opinions about me affect me and I'm working

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Speaker 2: on that.

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Speaker 1: That's real. That's real, that assass.

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Speaker 2: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 1: You may know us.

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Speaker 4: From posting funny videos with our.

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Speaker 1: Voys and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.

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Speaker 2: Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.

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Speaker 1: Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married.

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Speaker 4: Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open

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Speaker 4: dialogue about some of Li's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 1: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 4: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 4: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 4: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred

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Speaker 4: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 1: We about to take philosof to our whole new level.

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Speaker 1: Dead ass starts right now. All right, story time, get

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Speaker 1: into the story time.

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Speaker 3: So since we're talking today about being misunderstood, I'll tell

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Speaker 3: you about this one time where I felt severely misunderstood and.

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Speaker 2: It really physically impacted me to the point where I

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Speaker 2: lost the baby. Oh my god, Yep, lost the baby

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Speaker 2: over it. It was stressed and.

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Speaker 3: It was stressed induced. I think I'm now in retrospect. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And I recently shared the story on another podcast and

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Speaker 3: Deval and I had gone viral. A clip of our

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Speaker 3: podcast had gone viral and we were talking about monogamy.

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Speaker 3: So naturally, when you talk about monogamy in general, people

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Speaker 3: are going to have their opinions.

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Speaker 1: About what that looks like.

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Speaker 3: But in the particular clip, which tends to happen where

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Speaker 3: you release a thirty forty five second clip out of

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Speaker 3: an hour long conversation and then people, you know this

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Speaker 3: is your world, baby, you know this is your world.

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Speaker 3: So this clip was released, and of course once you

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Speaker 3: do that and you put it out into the general public,

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Speaker 3: people are open to their own opinions about it, building

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Speaker 3: a story and a narrative around that clip. So within

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Speaker 3: the clip, Devout had talked about feeling. I gave him

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Speaker 3: an ultimatum when I told him, like, listen, I'm not

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Speaker 3: going to be a living girl girlfriend, not gonna be

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Speaker 3: your baby mama. It's either you're going ship and get

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Speaker 3: off the pot yep, or I can just go back

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Speaker 3: to New York. Because at the time I was living

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Speaker 3: with him in Detroit. He was playing ball, And I said,

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Speaker 3: you know, I could just go back to New York,

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Speaker 3: focus on myself, and when you figure things out, all

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Speaker 3: at me.

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Speaker 2: No hard feeling.

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Speaker 3: See if I'm Silvilia, We'll see how it goes, you know.

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Speaker 3: And in that moment, the conversation became, oh, like, you

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Speaker 3: gave me an ultimatum. You were putting my back against

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Speaker 3: the wall and forcing me to make a choice. And

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Speaker 3: I said, I wasn't forcing you to do anything. I

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Speaker 3: was just letting you know where I.

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Speaker 1: Stood options right, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Or what I was willing to put up with her not.

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Speaker 2: So of course there were mixed reviews.

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Speaker 3: Someone were like, yeah, shout out took it even for

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Speaker 3: standing her ground. And then it's like, oh, Devo didn't

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Speaker 3: really want to settle down because.

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Speaker 1: She forced him to.

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Speaker 3: And there were so many clips, so many comments. You

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Speaker 3: had people who were for Devour, people who were against me,

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Speaker 3: and then vice versa. But I realized that we were

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Speaker 3: new to the social media space. We were new to

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Speaker 3: the podcast space. And that was that first time when

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Speaker 3: I really like got into the comments section and felt like, well,

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Speaker 3: I have to defend my point.

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Speaker 1: Did you not listen to the hour long podcast?

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Speaker 3: And Deval was in a space where he was like, bucket,

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Speaker 3: I don't care what people have to say.

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Speaker 1: He didn't care.

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Speaker 2: He was just like, for real, didn't care because to him,

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Speaker 2: he was like, well, sometimes you know, bad press is

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Speaker 2: good press in a sense where you know, our podcast

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Speaker 2: was going viral, so it was sparking conversations, it was

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Speaker 2: bringing traction to the page. But I don't think he

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Speaker 2: or I in that moment, understood how physically it was

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Speaker 2: affecting me.

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Speaker 1: He was away filming.

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Speaker 3: I forget the show, but he was in Atlanta at

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Speaker 3: the time, and I found out I was pregnant that September.

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Speaker 3: This clip went viral, I want to say, maybe early October,

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Speaker 3: and everything was fine. You know, I was maybe about

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Speaker 3: seven eight weeks along pregnant, and I had just found

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Speaker 3: out a little before he left. So I stayed back

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Speaker 3: home with the kids, who were living in California at

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Speaker 3: the time, because you know, the whole pandemic situation was happening,

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Speaker 3: and they just started to film a little bit. We're

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Speaker 3: getting back to filming, and I remember feeling cramping.

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Speaker 1: I felt my stomach was off.

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Speaker 3: I had the pit in my stomach of anxiety because

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Speaker 3: I know I was in the comment section, but it

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Speaker 3: was hard to decipher what was triggering what right was

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Speaker 3: it just me being anxious about the whole thing, thinking,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, people are like all eyes on us,

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Speaker 3: and not realizing how that was affecting me internally with

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Speaker 3: this pregnancy. Ended up driving myself to the er, had

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Speaker 3: a sonogram done, heartbeat, viable, pregnancy, Everything's fine.

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Speaker 2: Hey, just take it easy. Doctor said, maybe do a

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Speaker 2: couple of days bed rests just to kind of put

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Speaker 2: yourself at ease, and then went home and within a

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Speaker 2: few hours, you know, lost that baby. And it was

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Speaker 2: a super, of course, traumatic moment because if I wasn't there,

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Speaker 2: I was by myself. I told the story in another

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Speaker 2: podcast about being in the bathroom and when I finally

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Speaker 2: realized that I had passed the pregnancy, I had the

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Speaker 2: FaceTime with Devel on the floor in the bathroom and

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Speaker 2: I pulled my pants underwear down in one hand.

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Speaker 3: It was just like blood everywhere. And then my kids

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Speaker 3: are knocking on the door, Mama, we want to make pizza. Mam,

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Speaker 3: are you gonna come make pizza? And I was like,

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Speaker 3: of course, sobbing, Devo sobbing on the phone and I'm like, mom,

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Speaker 3: will be right there, and I'm coming and I'm getting

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Speaker 3: myself together, I'm cleaning up, meet me downstairs in like

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Speaker 3: ten minutes. And what I just in that moment, everything

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Speaker 3: just started to flash in my mind about the chain

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Speaker 3: of events. And then a little bit after that, maybe

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Speaker 3: a week or two after it, dev I was.

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Speaker 2: Just like, yo, you think that you're stressed.

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Speaker 3: How you were just stressed in that moment and it

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Speaker 3: had to do with the spark of you just feeling

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Speaker 3: misunderstood in that moment and having to like defend yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that physically affected you. And from that moment on

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Speaker 2: and of course now at my big age of forty

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Speaker 2: for sure people's and being misunderstood, I do not care.

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Speaker 2: Wow wow, thank you for sharing that. No, thank you,

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Speaker 2: I'm so listen you went through that.

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Speaker 1: Thank you girl.

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Speaker 2: Wowowow.

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Speaker 1: So that was my story time child in a nutshell.

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Speaker 3: However, the blessing and that that moment I couldn't see

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Speaker 3: at the time.

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Speaker 1: But what we're gonna do.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna get into karaoke, take a break, and we'll

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Speaker 2: come back talk a little bit more about the story time.

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Speaker 2: All right, karaoke time, okay, sell me, MSB. You're trying

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Speaker 2: to figure out what to sing because neither of us.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to say. Singing is my forte.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I can hold a note, now, don't play.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't hold it if you placed it in the

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Speaker 2: palm of my hand.

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Speaker 1: Let's be for real. Okay, let's be for real.

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Speaker 3: But my audience, my dad asked, family, they give me

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Speaker 3: a safe space to who and.

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Speaker 2: Holler and howel.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so we can do this, and we can do

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Speaker 1: this together.

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Speaker 3: But since we're talking about being misunderstood, the song that

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Speaker 3: came to mind and I told you about it just

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Speaker 3: like that's actually the terfect one and it's giving a throwback.

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Speaker 3: It's giving throwback from one of my favorite grooves, Escape

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Speaker 3: shout out to Escape.

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Speaker 1: So ready, let's go five six?

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Speaker 2: Ready, And what I need from you is understand. Oh

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Speaker 2: we are off off, I hold. What what I need

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Speaker 2: from you is understand. I just jump on your can

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Speaker 2: we start?

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Speaker 1: I don't base why.

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Speaker 2: I need from you. I was trying to go fight candy.

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Speaker 2: Candy is a little bit lower registered. I start from

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Speaker 2: alto are you suprano? We started a little horsie. What

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Speaker 2: I need from you is understand. How can we communaka communicate?

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Speaker 2: That's it. When we went did that?

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Speaker 4: We did it?

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Speaker 1: Know the rest of the work maybe I had. That's

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Speaker 1: always the problem, we killing butchering people. So listen, our

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Speaker 1: heart's in the right place. Our heart's in the right place, okay,

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Speaker 1: And the.

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Speaker 3: Next place we need to be is paying these bills,

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Speaker 3: because that's, you know, very important. So we're gonna pay

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Speaker 3: some bills and we're gonna come right back and we're

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Speaker 3: gonna dive back into story time and talking about being misunderstood,

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Speaker 3: because what we need from you is undertaking understand Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that was.

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Speaker 1: Good, all right, so we're back.

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Speaker 3: By now you probably figured out who my beautiful guest

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Speaker 3: is here today. Be Simon, y'all, is a comedian, social

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Speaker 3: media personality, podcast hosts an entrepreneur.

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Speaker 1: Your podcast Let's try this again.

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Speaker 3: It takes a vulnerable look at what it takes to

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Speaker 3: be resilient, especially in the public eye. And she's currently

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Speaker 3: on tour, baby, so grab your tickets in your respective city,

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Speaker 3: and even if it's not in your respective city, it's giving.

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Speaker 1: Get a group of.

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Speaker 2: Girls together, a group of guys, make it a trip

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Speaker 2: so you can see her on tour performing stand up

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Speaker 2: comedy around the country.

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Speaker 3: And she's here to share some of herself with us today.

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Speaker 3: And we appreciate you being here today.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you for showing me so excited. When

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Speaker 2: I got invited, I was like, are you sure really

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Speaker 2: said Simone?

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Speaker 1: Give me somebody I heard.

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Speaker 3: Simone is like one of the very popular middle names

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Speaker 3: for women, like I forget where I saw it.

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Speaker 2: It might have been like a.

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Speaker 1: Lot of Simon's names, rais and all that.

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Speaker 3: So you fell into that category, girl, So it's funny.

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Speaker 3: I normally will give a little blurb about who the

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Speaker 3: guest is, but I always like to hear your take

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Speaker 3: on it.

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Speaker 1: Who is b Simone?

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Speaker 2: You know what I used to when people ask me

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Speaker 2: that question. I used to be like, I'm a stand

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Speaker 2: up coman, I'm an entrepreneur. It's like, that's what you do.

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Speaker 2: That is not who you are, Like who are you?

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Speaker 1: Interesting?

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Speaker 2: I am a daughter, I'm loving, I'm a friend. I

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Speaker 2: am hopeful, I'm optimistic. I walk in purpose like I

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Speaker 2: feel like that's more of who I am. And I'm

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Speaker 2: still finding myself. Like every time I find myself, I chan.

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Speaker 1: You see me baby.

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Speaker 2: Two days ago, I had hair. I was going to

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Speaker 2: get into that too, because when she pops out of

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Speaker 2: the vehicle, this.

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Speaker 1: Is my first and I love it too. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I love it for you like me. It's giving. You know,

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Speaker 1: a woman who cuts her hair is about to change

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Speaker 1: the world. But you be kind here all the time.

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Speaker 1: I got a sad I need.

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Speaker 2: I can't even worr new rag.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do nothing for this. You cannot wait, not

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Speaker 1: a thing, but I am. I'm going through a season.

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Speaker 2: I'm always going through something, and I feel like I

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Speaker 2: changed so often when you're trying to grow, you should

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Speaker 2: be changing rapidly as possible, you know, as certain things

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Speaker 2: evolve and shift. But I pure intent. I truly believe

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Speaker 2: my heart is so big. I love people, I love laughing,

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Speaker 2: I love being happy, and I'm like, all right, there's

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Speaker 2: egg shells in here.

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Speaker 1: Let's just sliving it up because you know, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: love I love.

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Speaker 2: What I do.

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Speaker 1: Who's brayling?

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Speaker 2: Because it's funny you mentioned B Simone and B Simone's

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Speaker 2: a it's to an extent, a persona that we see

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Speaker 2: on social media, and she is the person who's on stage,

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Speaker 2: she is the comedian, she is the podcast host.

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Speaker 1: But then who's braillant?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? And I think all the things I said, But

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Speaker 2: also like I'll give you an example, B Simone. Thankfully

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Speaker 2: I built a persona and a character around who I am,

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Speaker 2: so be Simone is part of Me's just not all

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Speaker 2: of me. I'm not walking around the airport at six

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Speaker 2: am when y'all be walking up to me trying to

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Speaker 2: take a picture. Baby, it's like it's five forty five.

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Speaker 1: I can relate to that, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: Right now? Or I don't feel good or I am tired,

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Speaker 2: or I did just get off the phone with a

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Speaker 2: family member and things aren't going well. I'm not always happy,

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Speaker 2: and I would say on the internet, I'm not always

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Speaker 2: happy either. I tried to show all of me because

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Speaker 2: that is what got me to this point, being vulnerable,

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Speaker 2: relatable and real. Yes, so b Simone isn't too far

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Speaker 2: from Braylin, you know, but she's just b Simone is

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Speaker 2: just a part of Braylin, not all of Braylin, gotcha.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, Brailen has a lot of depth and she

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Speaker 2: goes through a lot and I don't show every single.

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Speaker 3: Team, so it's not that they differ per se, but

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Speaker 3: it's more so one is a little bit more withheld. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: which is which is I think accurate because I think

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Speaker 3: about myself as too myself too.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: You see Kadeen, Kadeen the wife, Kadiah the mom, Kadeen

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Speaker 3: you know the podcasts, Kadeen the entrepreneur. But there's certain

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Speaker 3: parts of Kadeen that people haven't experienced, and I feel

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Speaker 3: like I need to for my own sanity, for my

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Speaker 3: own protection. There's certain parts of me that I just

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Speaker 3: feel like the public doesn't necessarily deserve do.

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Speaker 1: You have you ever been there?

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Speaker 2: Can you say parts?

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Speaker 4: Like what?

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Speaker 2: Can you say that? Or do you not? Like?

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Speaker 1: Can you say it?

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Speaker 2: Do you share those parts? It's also it's it's the

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Speaker 2: parts that people know about me already. It's the it's

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Speaker 2: the wife, it's the daughter, it's the podcast host. But

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Speaker 2: then there's like deeper layers to that that I just

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Speaker 2: feel like, you don't have to have all of that.

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Speaker 2: You can't see all of that, you can't be privy

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Speaker 2: to all of that, because then, like you said, people

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Speaker 2: always expect that of you. So I've just come to

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Speaker 2: a point now where I'm just like, I just don't

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Speaker 2: want to share everything, everything, everything. And the beauty of

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Speaker 2: social media in the space that we're in is that

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Speaker 2: we can curate our own content. We can let people

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Speaker 2: see what we want to want them to see. But

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Speaker 2: also too, you want to stay authentic and true to

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Speaker 2: who yourself really is.

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Speaker 3: So it's not a matter of you know, not being

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Speaker 3: who you are, but it's about protecting the pieces of

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Speaker 3: you that you feel like are sacred.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know what, because I'm so vulnerable and transparent,

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Speaker 2: I share a lot and if I'm not sharing a

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Speaker 2: part of that it's because sharing that will affect other people,

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Speaker 2: not because I don't want to share it. So I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I actually want to share my family and my upbringing

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Speaker 2: and my childhood trauma and a lot of that in detail,

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Speaker 2: but it would affect to any people, gotcha. So I'm

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Speaker 2: actually always in protective mode of other people's feelings and

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Speaker 2: how they're perceived, but I actually want to share.

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Speaker 3: This stuff because they didn't sign up for it, right, right,

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Speaker 3: We're even protective now of just sharing our siblings to

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Speaker 3: an extent, niece's nephew's family, because you just know how

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Speaker 3: that couldn't have a dominant effect and effect peopleho didn't

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Speaker 3: sign up for this public life. So going back to

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Speaker 3: my story time, you know, talking about a moment where

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Speaker 3: I was misunderstood and it really affected me.

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Speaker 1: Did you have a moment where you felt like, damn,

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Speaker 1: that did not land well.

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Speaker 3: People did not to be able to not get what

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Speaker 3: I was trying to give and that was completely chopped

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Speaker 3: and screwed and misunderstood.

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Speaker 1: Girl, do you have you had a story like that

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Speaker 1: that you can share and how you kind of worked

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Speaker 1: through that.

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Speaker 2: Mine was kind of like yours, Like my biggest hit

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Speaker 2: was like my first public like boom.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god.

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Speaker 2: I went from everybody liking me and the internet funny

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Speaker 2: black girl and the viral girl too she's a play dress.

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Speaker 2: I was like, okay, that was one of my first

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Speaker 2: big like HiT's. Oh my god, this is a mind boggling,

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Speaker 2: you know. Like I went through a whole thing where

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Speaker 2: I put out a book and some pages in the

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Speaker 2: book were actually taking off Pinterest through my graphic designer. Right,

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Speaker 2: so I look through the book and once again, y'all,

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Speaker 2: if you're starting a business rushing, do not rush. Know

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Speaker 2: who you're hiring, have contracts. I had to learn this

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Speaker 2: the hard way, like, all right, if anything happens, it's

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Speaker 2: not on me, it's on whoever put it together or whatever.

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Speaker 2: But once again, I took the hit because I'm the

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Speaker 2: face of the brand.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So the day the world found out was the day

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Speaker 2: I found out.

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Speaker 1: I was like, y'all, I didn't know it either.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm calling my lawyer, I'm calling it, you know.

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Speaker 2: So but that really affected me because it wasn't my intent,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So when you go through

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Speaker 2: the comments, you want to stick.

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Speaker 1: Up for yourself. Of course, that's that's natural.

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Speaker 3: That's not what I'm natural, especially when it attacks your

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Speaker 3: character and your integrity.

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Speaker 2: I don't care if you think I'm not funny. I

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Speaker 2: don't care if you don't like my ballad. I don't

365
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,440
Speaker 2: care if you don't like my gap. I got baby teeth,

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Speaker 2: don't care. It could have been had ven ears. Don't

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Speaker 2: want them, I don't want them. I don't care if

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Speaker 2: you think my ass is flat. I don't care if

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00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,639
Speaker 2: you think when you question my character that bothers me.

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Speaker 2: For sure, it bothers me. But I'm learning, like Braylan,

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Speaker 2: why why do you need validation so much from man?

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Speaker 2: Why do you need to be liked so much? The

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Speaker 2: why is important now, So now I'm digging back the

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Speaker 2: layers and trying to heal that so it truly doesn't matter.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting better, but it's not totally gone, And I

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Speaker 2: think it's important to get to a point where it's like,

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Speaker 2: I really don't f it, I don't care. I think

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00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,520
Speaker 2: that is so important because at this point I have

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Speaker 2: an audience of one. I have an audience one who's

380
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,399
Speaker 2: making all the moves, Who's making all the moves all

381
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Speaker 2: the who who is telling me how to move. If

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Speaker 2: I focus on him, I can't be focused on what

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Speaker 2: millions of people think.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I've also learned everyone is not for you, yes, yes.

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Speaker 2: Okay, focused on the people that love you, that's okay.

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Speaker 3: Yes, you know, right before I went on to our tour,

387
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,320
Speaker 3: our live show again this past uh go around in February.

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Speaker 3: You know, naturally, before you get on stage and you

389
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Speaker 3: have a tour, you just have these feelings where you're just.

390
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,800
Speaker 2: Like, oh my god, don't don't make it's nerves.

391
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,280
Speaker 1: It's natural.

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Speaker 2: And I think it's healthy to have that, because if

393
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,719
Speaker 2: I wasn't nervous and didn't care, then I like already

394
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:24,359
Speaker 2: bought their tickets.

395
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Speaker 1: But I was just like, I kind of just like

396
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Speaker 1: you know, in my head, and usually do that.

397
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Speaker 2: Has some time to talk me off the ledge half

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Speaker 2: the time, and I was on the phone with Crystal,

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00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:34,119
Speaker 2: Crystal reinine Taste, Yes, good friend of ours. We just

400
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 2: had a game together actually, and Christial was like, Okay,

401
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 2: just know that everybody there is for you. Everybody who's

402
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,720
Speaker 2: there that bought a ticket that wants to do the

403
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,200
Speaker 2: meet and greet, they want to see you, They want

404
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,080
Speaker 2: to see you succeed. They don't need you don't have

405
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,840
Speaker 2: that right exactly.

406
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Speaker 1: I mean I didn't do a split baby.

407
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Speaker 2: Now she was out there, I was like, wow.

408
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,879
Speaker 3: Now ask me if I did a split since then,

409
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 3: because this one a little the left hip was acting

410
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Speaker 3: up on me.

411
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Speaker 2: You know, you're just healing hep.

412
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,160
Speaker 1: We're healing the HEP.

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Speaker 2: But no, in that moment, she just made me realize

414
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,280
Speaker 2: that they were there for me. And that was like

415
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 2: a really like big thing in that moment, and I

416
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 2: had to kind of tell myself that who's there, They

417
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,679
Speaker 2: love you want to be there for me. These are

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00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,959
Speaker 2: the people in the people who are the random passions by,

419
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,200
Speaker 2: the random comments that have something negative to say.

420
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Speaker 3: Chances are they not following me. It's just some random

421
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 3: passer by through your page. But staying true and authentic

422
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 3: to who you are for those people is important. How

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00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,399
Speaker 3: do you maintain that because a lot of what we

424
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 3: were talking about, like I said, this season is perception

425
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:40,320
Speaker 3: and reality.

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Speaker 2: So how do you or how is your reality affected

427
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Speaker 2: by people's perception of you? How do you differentiate the two? Yeah,

428
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:56,200
Speaker 2: you know, I'm so scared of being caught and being

429
00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 2: fake or fraud that I'm almost overly think that is

430
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Speaker 2: like also a gift of mine.

431
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,200
Speaker 1: But I'm so vulnerable, so open. Like if you go

432
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Speaker 1: back on my YouTube, y'all see me.

433
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Speaker 2: Pulling up in a Honda, three hubcaps, roll down windows.

434
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Speaker 1: I'm like, we all been there?

435
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,719
Speaker 2: What you mean? And I think that comes with comedy too,

436
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 2: like laughing at your pain or laughing at your situation.

437
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,360
Speaker 2: It's like I tell you before you say it. It's

438
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 2: like I've already said that, be someone driva toyota. I've

439
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,640
Speaker 2: already said that, yes, be someone against me. I hate

440
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 2: you guys, you cuse you have sex before marriage, but

441
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,120
Speaker 2: you say you love Lord. I already said that. I'm

442
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,000
Speaker 2: telling you all my journey, and I'm taking y'all on

443
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,880
Speaker 2: the journey with me. There's nothing you can say about

444
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,959
Speaker 2: me that I haven't already said about myself.

445
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:35,679
Speaker 1: That's powerful.

446
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 2: So that is a person like that. It's hard to

447
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:44,000
Speaker 2: f with I am. There's nothing I'm hiding. This is

448
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 2: who I am. And if there's something I don't like

449
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,800
Speaker 2: about myself, I'm working hard to change it. And the

450
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,600
Speaker 2: things I can't change, I'm trying to embrace those things, right,

451
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 2: you know. So I think it's important just to put

452
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 2: put it out there, and I make it a joke

453
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 2: because I'm a comedian. So I think that helps me

454
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:01,160
Speaker 2: with my gift. I'm like even recently when we said

455
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,160
Speaker 2: I was walking through the mall handing out right, I'm

456
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 2: promoting my own show six millions, that this show ain't

457
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 2: sold out, right, So guess what I'm gonna be this

458
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 2: that's the truth in this moment.

459
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 1: I thought I would have sold out this show a

460
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago.

461
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 2: It's not sold out.

462
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 1: You got back to the grassroots, back to the truth.

463
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 2: Of fat on the ground, but instead of got sold out, No,

464
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 2: we ain't sold out. I don't know what's going on,

465
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 2: but marketing got to step up absolutely putting the truth

466
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,760
Speaker 2: out there and getting ahead of the truth and just

467
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 2: living in it. That's the truth, you know. So I

468
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 2: think that's a gift of mine. And I love that

469
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:43,199
Speaker 2: feeling of authenticity because not being authentic is you.

470
00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,200
Speaker 3: Got to keep that up, that facade, man, And you

471
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 3: cannot use against me what I've already spoken about divine

472
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:53,159
Speaker 3: the same thing with us Super Transparent, since our the

473
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 3: inception of the Elysis or even the Dead Ass podcast,

474
00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 3: we talk about this being almost like therapy for us.

475
00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:59,679
Speaker 1: People literally be in our business.

476
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 3: Like in the conversations, we've had moments of revelation here

477
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 3: a huge major whether it's individual revelations, marital revelations, parents,

478
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 3: and revelations that it's happen right here.

479
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 1: Oh for sure, that's happened. For sure.

480
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 3: Absolutely we have. And if you've had an argument before,

481
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 3: were going to tell you what we argued about, you know,

482
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,680
Speaker 3: and then naturally you have people like I saw with Kadeen,

483
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 3: I can relate to. But we are telling you what's happening,

484
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,959
Speaker 3: so you in real time. Even in the beginning when

485
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,680
Speaker 3: we talked, we spoke about like an infidelity or something

486
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 3: like early on in the relationship, when we're dating, whatever.

487
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 3: Nobody could pop up and say nothing, yeah, because it's.

488
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 2: All already said.

489
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 1: We already said it, been there, done that.

490
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,480
Speaker 3: I love that you mentioned your comedy because I was

491
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,680
Speaker 3: wondering now that B is evolving, because I think the

492
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 3: we're talking about, of course, perception, reality, misunderstanding. However, the

493
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 3: evolution of B what informs your stand up now that

494
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,639
Speaker 3: you are a comedian, because I think that's at the

495
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 3: forefront of what you're doing now. You know, the live

496
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 3: show comedy mixed with podcasting, which is a nice twist

497
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 3: on a live show. So what informs your standard?

498
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 2: Uh truly me on that stage? And what is crazy

499
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 2: that you said that? I have jokes that I've had

500
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 2: for forty years, five years. They grow the joke could

501
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,399
Speaker 2: have been thirty seconds, now it's two minutes. I've stretched

502
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:14,119
Speaker 2: it and I've growed it. Yeah, growed it. I'm grooted it.

503
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 2: I've rode it.

504
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

505
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 2: So those jokes, it's like sometimes I get on stage

506
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 2: and say it and I'm like, I'm actually acting now

507
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 2: because this isn't me anymore. So I've gotten off stage

508
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,360
Speaker 2: and been like, I need to rewrite that. Okay, I shouldn't.

509
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 2: That's not even me anymore. I've had to adjust so

510
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 2: many things I have, Like are you'll all growing here?

511
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 2: I almost went super left field.

512
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 1: Go go God, God, God say it, say it. You

513
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 1: know this is no holds barred.

514
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 2: Because I'm working on my mouth. Thank you. I'm gonna

515
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,280
Speaker 2: keep your dead ass. I have a given head joke.

516
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 1: You've forgot my husband give hands you?

517
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 2: Oh right, a great talk about I have a given

518
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 2: head joke. But I gave head in eighteen months because

519
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 2: why I'm.

520
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 1: Celebant, right and there is an evolution of the head game.

521
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 2: So it's like it could be it's like I changed

522
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 2: that joke up to be like when I used to okay,

523
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 2: or I tell my celibacy journey, right, tell my journey.

524
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,919
Speaker 2: I intertwine all the truths. But it's like I did

525
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 2: have to adjust my comedy because as a stand up comic,

526
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 2: hits your life and your truth on that stage. And

527
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 2: I hadn't been doing so many jokes for so long

528
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 2: and got repetitive. I'm like, this joke isn't me anymore right? Right?

529
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 4: Yea?

530
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 3: Or do you curtail it to audience? I know that

531
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 3: getting up on stage doing comedy is not easy. Have

532
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 3: you found yourself being like shit that didn't fall or

533
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 3: land the way I.

534
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: Thought it was for me? Like re rework that because

535
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 1: they didn't they didn't pick up what I was dripping.

536
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 2: That was funny in the bathroom when I was at

537
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 2: the house by myself in the shower, I was really giggling.

538
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 2: Y'all was quiet, right, keep talking, just keep talking any birthday.

539
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,919
Speaker 2: Stop making fun of the people on the front row.

540
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 2: That's what you do.

541
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, brother, how you doing? What's improv right? No,

542
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 1: for sure, for sure.

543
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's how you work the stage the comedy

544
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 2: clubs is like working out in the gym. You don't

545
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 2: know if it works until you do it in front

546
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 2: of a crowd. So you have to practice in front

547
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 2: of people, you know, So that stand up is not

548
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,440
Speaker 2: your mama, not your brother, not your friends. Well then again,

549
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 2: you may have those friends that are brutally honest with you.

550
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 4: You know.

551
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,160
Speaker 1: Listen, girl, now to rewrite that one.

552
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 2: Re wrote it.

553
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,880
Speaker 1: Go back in the chamber, get back in the lab,

554
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:22,639
Speaker 1: rewrote it.

555
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 2: What are some things that you feel like you've had

556
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 2: to sacrifice to get to where you are today that

557
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 2: you wish you hadn't because how many? How many years

558
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 2: have you been in the game. I want to say

559
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,159
Speaker 2: from like the exception of like your YouTube's all that, Like.

560
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 1: Right over a decade, I started my Space what is it?

561
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,400
Speaker 2: My Space days, my Space interests, like I was going

562
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,639
Speaker 2: not I mean, I guess back then it was. My

563
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 2: pictures were everywhere on my Space and Facebook. So over

564
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:55,680
Speaker 2: fifteen years, man, but you know I did. It's even

565
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 2: before that because in elementary school, middle school, I wasn't dance.

566
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 2: I was in art when I was fifteen, I was

567
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:02,200
Speaker 2: in my first girl group.

568
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,959
Speaker 1: Did you get on your report card? Talks to too

569
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 1: much in class? Were you that person every time?

570
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 2: Every time you're always talking? You always the people you like?

571
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, you was talking to this one in classic one.

572
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 2: My teachers loved me though. I got most likely to succeed,

573
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:19,199
Speaker 2: most likely to be famous. Yeah, I got to living up.

574
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 1: Listen, that's how you got to speak life into them.

575
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 1: Kids from not like my Caz. My third son just

576
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 1: came home with like the Remarkable Reader Award, and I'm

577
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 1: just like, bro, that's great, that's so good.

578
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 3: You're just super smart, like you know, And I could

579
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,879
Speaker 3: just see him being a little student lawyer, yeah, checking everybody,

580
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:34,880
Speaker 3: because he'd be checking my ass.

581
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 2: But I definitely didn't get reader.

582
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 1: I didn't when you know, when the teacher going around

583
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 1: and it come to you, I was like the dog

584
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 1: and the you know what I used to do. I

585
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 1: used to because I used to hate reading aloud. I

586
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 1: still kind of hate reading aloud to this day, quiet

587
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 1: as it's kept.

588
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 2: But I used to like, look at who was before me,

589
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 2: and I'm like, if they're reading like two paragraphs and

590
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 2: that's like four paragraphs.

591
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,160
Speaker 1: Eight Okay, so somebody get excited and read the extra.

592
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, you done read my part son. I literally

593
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: was practicing all of the big words. I had a flow,

594
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: and now I read Cole read co read cold. I

595
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 1: definitely wasn't that, but I was. I've been doing it forever.

596
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 2: To answer your question, and I think something that I

597
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 2: sacrificed was being intentional with love, like over as intentional

598
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 2: as I am with my business and my purpose and

599
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 2: the fulfillment I get from podcasting and acting and being

600
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 2: on set.

601
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 1: And I love what I do.

602
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 2: I wouldn't change it for the world. And I know

603
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 2: God called me to it. God called me to this

604
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 2: industry for a reason. He's molding me and shifting me

605
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 2: right in front of the industry's eyes. And he planted

606
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 2: me in this industry to be a light, which is

607
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 2: so difficult.

608
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 3: That's trying to grow personally, trying to grow publicly, and

609
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:46,880
Speaker 3: like you said, if you've been in a fifteen years,

610
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 3: that puts you to being like a teenager growing publicly.

611
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: They're like, you know, Jesus, you're still cussing, bitch. Look now,

612
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 2: I've been cussing for twenty years, and I gave my

613
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,520
Speaker 2: life to Christ eleven months ago. Give me a second,

614
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 2: give me a minute. I'm getting better. Y'all are just

615
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 2: watching my transition on camera. Nobody's recording.

616
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: You transition.

617
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:10,680
Speaker 2: Who knows, who knows?

618
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 1: Who knows?

619
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 2: But I'm being open with mine, you know. And I

620
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 2: said that to say, intentional with love and intentional with

621
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 2: family because I left my which I still I'm still like,

622
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 2: all right, I will leave anybody behind for my purpose

623
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 2: and what God has called me to do. A mother,

624
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 2: a granny, a friend, a sister. If God is calling

625
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 2: me to this and you can't support me, you want

626
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,159
Speaker 2: me to choose. If He is telling me to do this,

627
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 2: I will be obedient to him and leave my family.

628
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 2: I will do that. But I wish that I made

629
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 2: more intentional time for family time, which I'm starting to

630
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 2: do now that I'm a little more established and financially

631
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 2: free and i can.

632
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 1: Travel wherever I want and do it in real time.

633
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 2: But I would say those two things, intentional with family

634
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 2: and intend to know with love because I believe whatever

635
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 2: you're intentional with it's going to flourish and growth. Right,

636
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 2: So I'm like, that's why I've been able to reach

637
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 2: a certain level of success because I'm so intentional with

638
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 2: what I do, so intentional, but with love and family.

639
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 1: I'm starting to work love. I'm actually not not let

640
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 1: me not. I have not started working on you.

641
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 2: I haven't.

642
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, but family, Yes.

643
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 2: And my sister moved to Atlanta, more time with her,

644
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 2: trying to be more intentional with my relationship with my mom,

645
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 2: seeing my grandmother more, just little things like that, see Grandma,

646
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 2: go see Grandma.

647
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 1: I know, I know, thank you for sharing that.

648
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 2: I love that podcast episode when you share that you

649
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 2: go and see Grandma. I you only got one one

650
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 2: maybe too? Maybe? Yeah?

651
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes.

652
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 2: So I guess my next question to you is gonna

653
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 2: be what's most important to you right now in your

654
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 2: life in this space? And you said family, career of course, yeah,

655
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 2: what else? Anything else that You're like this, everything else

656
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 2: needs to take a back seat because I've had to

657
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 2: sacrifice for two I wouldn't say a back seat. But

658
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 2: my relationship with God has grown so much over the

659
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 2: past year. I'm trying so hard to incorporate him more.

660
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 2: I'm still breaking habits, yep, not waking up and grabbing

661
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 2: my phone, praying, talking to him more, praise and worship

662
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 2: more fasting more, doing all the things that I know

663
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 2: have worked and got me out of a dark place

664
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 2: and allowed me to have encounters with him. I have

665
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 2: had an encounter with Jesus Christ. You, guys, I'm gonna

666
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 2: look right at y'all. I'm telling you. I am telling you.

667
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 2: He is the Way, the truth in the life. And

668
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 2: if you give him a chance Jeremiah twenty nine thirteen,

669
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 2: seek me and you will find me when you seek

670
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 2: me with all of your heart. If you do that

671
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 2: with all of your heart, you will find him. And

672
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 2: I know that from experience. I don't know all the scriptures,

673
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: I don't know the Bible from the beginning to end.

674
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 2: I know my experience. So to answer your question once again,

675
00:30:56,040 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 2: my goal is to incorporate Him in everything more just

676
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 2: in seasons. Yes, I feel like it's like going to

677
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 2: the gym, like a working out for two months.

678
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 1: It works, and it it's like, oh I.

679
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 2: Took a month off. I feel like that's the same

680
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 2: with my spirituality. Okay, I'm trying to make it a

681
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,959
Speaker 2: lifestyle and not just okay, let me do this these

682
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 2: two months, let me spend time with God. No, it

683
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,880
Speaker 2: should be my lifestyle. So I'm battling with that.

684
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: I see you. I do the same.

685
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 3: I have the same battle, and I also battle with

686
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 3: how much I want to share. So again going back

687
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 3: to the things that I don't necessarily let people know about,

688
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 3: that's one of those things because I feel like it's

689
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 3: very super personal and I don't need to be the

690
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,080
Speaker 3: person that's quoting every like you said, every scripture or

691
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 3: in church every day, or singing every hymn or knowing

692
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,320
Speaker 3: everything to quote. But it's a personal journey and a

693
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 3: personal relationship. And you said that you've experienced Christ. Yeah, personally.

694
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

695
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 3: Is that enough for you to know that you've done

696
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: that or do you feel like you need to convince

697
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 3: others of that encounter.

698
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 2: I don't think my responsibility is to convince. I think

699
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 2: God allowed me through it to testify, to let people

700
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 2: know my experience and plant whether it's planting the seed

701
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 2: or whether it's encouraging somebody to have a relationship with him.

702
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 2: I do believe God. From twenty sixteen, from the moment

703
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 2: I went viral to now almost a decade later, I

704
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 2: am a total different person. Like I go back and

705
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,479
Speaker 2: watch my videos, I'm like, you put that on the internet.

706
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 2: You dumb young guy can relate to that so much.

707
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: Deval I was just talking about.

708
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 2: They said, Man, if we listen to some of these

709
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 2: old podcast episodes, the way you spoke, your mindsets, the

710
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 2: way you felt about certain topics, and it's it's unfortunate

711
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 2: in a way because the Internet is so forgiven, unforgiving,

712
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 2: and you can just pull anything up at any random.

713
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 3: Time time and it just lives there in this ambyss forever.

714
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 3: And it's just like, man, I hope that, you know,

715
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 3: ten years from now, people are not going to hold

716
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 3: me to.

717
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 1: The interview that we did now for example exactly, and

718
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: we would hope not.

719
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 3: And it's unfortunate that I feel like the public in

720
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 3: general just can't embrace change or even respect evolution, respect

721
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 3: the fact that people have the courage to publicly show

722
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 3: their evolution. You know, have you ever had moments where

723
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 3: you're like, you know what, I'm not doing this some more.

724
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:11,760
Speaker 1: Like this is just not for me.

725
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 2: Hmmm. I don't think I was ever like I'm not

726
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 2: doing this because I know this is my purpose. But

727
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 2: I've definitely been like felt myself getting into that bitter, angry, hurt, sad, unforgiving,

728
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 2: not like all of those things that I had never

729
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 2: felt before. I'm like, I've never felt this, Like, I've

730
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 2: never felt these emotions in this space where you're normally happy,

731
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 2: mean yeah, yeah, like or I would look at somebody

732
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 2: and be like, girl, you're beautiful. How are you not confident?

733
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,239
Speaker 2: I don't understand how beautiful women can't be confident. Then

734
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 2: I had a moment where I was like, oh, shoot,

735
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 2: I'm not confident in this season. So having more empathy

736
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 2: and understanding emotions flow depending on what you're going through.

737
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 2: So I've had a moment where I'm like, you know what,

738
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 2: I'm gonna watch what I say. I'm scared to say anything.

739
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 2: I'm scared to give my opinion and be myself on

740
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 2: the internet because every time I myself it's twisted up,

741
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 2: or it's somebody got an opinion, or I'm like, like

742
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 2: you said take thirty seconds. I'm like, that's not what

743
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 2: I said. I did not say fuck all the fruit.

744
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 2: I did.

745
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,839
Speaker 1: I like apples. I said I like apples, and now.

746
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,360
Speaker 2: You're right because I don't. I didn't say I like oranges.

747
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 2: All I did was say I like apples. I didn't

748
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:22,400
Speaker 2: say fuck oranges.

749
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 1: Right for sure? Just trust me.

750
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 2: But I'm like, oh, I literally have this conversation with

751
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,800
Speaker 2: God recently, Like I'm like, you told me to do this,

752
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:33,719
Speaker 2: you told me to do that, You told me to

753
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 2: do this, and I did it. I've been obedient. Where

754
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 2: are you at? Like I feel like I'm getting attacked

755
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,359
Speaker 2: for my obedience. He's like, you're not going through anything

756
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 2: I haven't been through. Relax. He literally was like, relax.

757
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 2: Everything you are going through that you think is so major,

758
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 2: that's so minute, is not anything they haven't done to me.

759
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 2: So be quiet, relax. So I'm just like I remember

760
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 2: that in those times. I'm like, this is the cross

761
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,359
Speaker 2: I was meant to carry. Anything you're going through. God

762
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 2: puts you in this seat for a reason. God puts

763
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,719
Speaker 2: you with your husband, with those boys that y'all are

764
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 2: raising for an exact, not even a reason, for a purpose.

765
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:11,840
Speaker 2: See and be.

766
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:14,919
Speaker 1: I mean people have asked me all the time, what's

767
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 1: your purpose? What's your purpose?

768
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 3: And I'm just like, man, don't I don't know what

769
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,279
Speaker 3: it is? And this was me I mean as recent

770
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,839
Speaker 3: as maybe two three years ago, Like I just don't

771
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 3: feel fulfilled. I feel like I'm doing the things I'm

772
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 3: supposed to do. But not the things I was purposely

773
00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 3: supposed to do, if that makes sense. Wow, and like

774
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 3: finding what that purpose is?

775
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 2: I always been you're saying this in real time, in

776
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 2: real time, Well, now I know, okay, Okay, I'm walking

777
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,280
Speaker 2: in my purpose. I didn't realize that it was simultaneously happening.

778
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 2: I thought I was going to have this like major

779
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 2: revelation at some point, or that you know, people who

780
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,399
Speaker 2: grow up or you say, you know, you've known since

781
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 2: you were a kid, that this was my purpose. I

782
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,239
Speaker 2: was going to be famous, I was going to be

783
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 2: in entertainment. I didn't always necessarily feel that. Did I

784
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 2: want that? Yes?

785
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,320
Speaker 1: But the only thing I knew for sure that I

786
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 1: wanted was to be a wife and mom. That was

787
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: that was that knew that, and I knew that.

788
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 2: Wow. And that's why for a while I felt guilty,

789
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,320
Speaker 2: felt feeling like my purpose can't just be being a

790
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 2: wife and mom. Yes, my purpose has to be something great, Okay,

791
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 2: But then I look at my family and I'm just like,

792
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 2: what's greater than my husband and my four boys raising

793
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 2: amazing black men? Purpose? Baby had? I had to like

794
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,919
Speaker 2: really sit there and be like, oh God, I see

795
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 2: what you did here, I see what you did here,

796
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,359
Speaker 2: And then also having a revelation on stage one time

797
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 2: in a live show when someone was asking me, what's

798
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:38,280
Speaker 2: next for you, Kadeen, What's next for you, Kadeen?

799
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 3: And I'm like, what is next for me? And I'm like,

800
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 3: wait a second, Why am I always looking to be

801
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 3: to see what's next? Maybe I'm walking literally in my purpose?

802
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 3: And do you know how many people come to deval

803
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 3: and I at random times and say, you have saved

804
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 3: my marriage. You have opened my eyes to a relationship

805
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 3: with my mother or my father I didn't know could exist.

806
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,480
Speaker 2: You have made me change the way I parent my

807
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 2: son or Dady. You have helped There's so many testimonies

808
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 2: and stories that we get on a day to day basis,

809
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh God, I see that's the prope

810
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 2: go through all that, the fidelity of whatever all y'all

811
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 2: talked at, all that, everything that we spurred that one

812
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 2: person to share that story to plant that it was

813
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 2: worth it.

814
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 1: It made sense.

815
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 2: It's purpose because it's not about us, It's about whatever

816
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,319
Speaker 2: God has called us to do to do, And it's

817
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,400
Speaker 2: just it's crazy how after a while you try to

818
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,320
Speaker 2: fight those things and you try to like you're in

819
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 2: your own mind about what it looks like when God

820
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 2: is literally like I'm showing.

821
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 3: You the way, like you're walking in your purpose and

822
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,839
Speaker 3: what I have destined for you. Wow, it's crazy when

823
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 3: you said that. The emotions that you feel. You know,

824
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 3: sometimes when I asked about everyone to just give this up,

825
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 3: feelings of just like bitterness and doubt and fear. Feeling

826
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:51,760
Speaker 3: misunderstood can have many different emotional and psychological effects. Typically,

827
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:53,800
Speaker 3: we talk about some facts and staffs to kind of

828
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 3: back up our conversation on the.

829
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 4: Show, So.

830
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 2: Over the okay.

831
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:01,720
Speaker 1: Emotional responses.

832
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 3: Feeling misunderstood can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, annoyance, discomfort, insecurity, sadness,

833
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:13,320
Speaker 3: failure incompleteness, and disinterest. It can also make people feel unsettled, unheard, unseen,

834
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 3: and can lead to heightened emotional.

835
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: Responses, Oh I know, girl, girl, Okay, all.

836
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,480
Speaker 3: The things that we've experienced at some point, and I'm

837
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 3: sure our listeners can relate to just just feeling like that,

838
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 3: like damn, that's not how it was supposed to be,

839
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 3: That's not how I intended it. But here I am

840
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 3: self doubt feeling misunderstood can make people doubt their own choices,

841
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 3: their actions, their words, which can then lead to even

842
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:40,280
Speaker 3: more frustration. And it can also compromise your sense of worth,

843
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 3: your sense of empowerment. How have you pulled yourself out

844
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 3: of spaces where you felt unworthy and and like you've

845
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,319
Speaker 3: lotched your power because I know that, like you said,

846
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 3: God has really been a driving force.

847
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:56,959
Speaker 1: Staple better, girl, It's okay space. You can cry.

848
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 3: Our eyes do cry sometimes, but you know, I know

849
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 3: that you're rooted in your faith. And how do you

850
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,359
Speaker 3: pull yourself out of moments where you just don't feel

851
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,320
Speaker 3: like you're worthy, whether it's a good moment or a

852
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 3: bad I'm not worthy of this or I feel powerless

853
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 3: in this sense? Because I know that people listening have

854
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 3: been in spaces maybe not publicly, but they're fighting their

855
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 3: own private battles where I'm just like, I can't get.

856
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 1: Out of this.

857
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 2: It's that mind, y'all, the battle feel of the mind.

858
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 2: Vienna got me on that book I started reading. I

859
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 2: haven't even finished it, but pretty v my girl, your mind.

860
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 2: Most of this stuff is in your mind, and it

861
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 2: starts with the mind. Then it turns into action or

862
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 2: a thought or a word. Or your thoughts turn into

863
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 2: everything and it becomes manifested, good or bad. You have

864
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 2: to take those thoughts like you have to shift it.

865
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 2: It starts with your mind. That's what I've been working

866
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 2: on so so hard, shifting. And I say it out loud. Now,

867
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 2: if I start having bad thoughts, I have to start speaking,

868
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 2: declaring and like, that is real. You have to shift

869
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,319
Speaker 2: your perspective. I said this on my podcast. We can

870
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 2: both look at a glass and see, oh, this is

871
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 2: almost gone. I'm like, well, no. An abundant mindset is

872
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 2: like we almost to the top. Period, It's not almost gone.

873
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 2: We almost to How we're gonna get more? And how

874
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,400
Speaker 2: are we gonna get more? Right? How are we going

875
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 2: to overflow it? And a lack of mindset is like,

876
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, this is almost gone. We're about to

877
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 2: run out. We're not gonna have nothing. That's the mind

878
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 2: And once again backing up with a stat I don't

879
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't know the the full statistic, but

880
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 2: I know this is a scientific fact, okay, because scientific's

881
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 2: funny scientific facts that don't be scientific facts.

882
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 1: So just so you know, for the record, this is

883
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:37,399
Speaker 1: an actual fact. This is actual scientific fact.

884
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,600
Speaker 2: I follow up preacher who is a psychologist on Instagram.

885
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 2: I gotta find the page. But just saying that thoughts,

886
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 2: negative thoughts positive or negative are building like bridges in

887
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 2: your mind. If it's negative, it's building like negativity. The

888
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 2: positive thoughts take those down and then starts building positive

889
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,759
Speaker 2: over here. It's scientifical, okay, but it's something there. I'm

890
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 2: trying to envision the least boy Mom.

891
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 1: Look at the legos and ship. How which way they go?

892
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 2: Imagine all those negative thoughts. You have to build the

893
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 2: muscle to break them down. It's just a muscle.

894
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 1: It's like working out.

895
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 2: It's a practice. So I'm telling you all this thing

896
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 2: you're looking, how do I become confident? How do I?

897
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,720
Speaker 2: It starts in your mind because most of the stuff

898
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:25,880
Speaker 2: we think is in fact or truth anyway, I'm ugly, okay, perception,

899
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,720
Speaker 2: reception or who or I'm not worthy?

900
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 1: Well, God, biblically God tells us are worth. You were this,

901
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 1: you are this, You were this, you are this.

902
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 2: So that's that's a lie anyway, anyway. But thinking lies

903
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 2: all day, so you have to combat it with the truth.

904
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:41,879
Speaker 1: I love that being in the mind.

905
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 3: You know what came to mind for me as you

906
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:46,839
Speaker 3: were talking to who you surround yourself with in those

907
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:50,280
Speaker 3: moments of feeling unworthy or feeling powerless, or feeling defeated,

908
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 3: you're feeling misunderstood the people around you. You either rise

909
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 3: to the occasion of the people around you or you

910
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:58,320
Speaker 3: stay staggering where they are. And one thing town, I

911
00:41:58,400 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 3: really make sure that we do or just meet and.

912
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 2: General, I'm surrounding myself with people who can pour into me,

913
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 2: who can elevate my thoughts, who can teach me something new,

914
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 2: who can speak.

915
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 5: Life and positive people. I don't want to be like

916
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 5: I'm around wives with folkids. She got to the door,

917
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 5: she was just like, oh okay, I said, Oh y'all

918
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 5: got money, Oh my god, beautiful.

919
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 3: Family running around, just abundance love, And I pray that

920
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 3: when people walk into our space and into they can

921
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 3: feel that energy and that life and it's in effective.

922
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 1: Yes, it was like inspectious, yes.

923
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, but being around people who do that and

924
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 2: making sure that the people who you're around as well

925
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 2: want to grow with you. Not necessarily trying to get

926
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 2: into the circles of people who have already attained, but

927
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 2: people who are working on the same things as you

928
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 2: and build with you and build together and not just

929
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 2: trying to get to the top quickly, because everything.

930
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:50,760
Speaker 1: Is a process, right.

931
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 2: Child.

932
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 3: Physical and psychological impact. Feeling misunderstood can lead to higher

933
00:42:56,080 --> 00:43:00,280
Speaker 3: perceived stress, lower life satisfaction and motivation and health, healthy

934
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 3: cortisol slopes, belly fat, Oh this.

935
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 2: I got had a six pack?

936
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:11,360
Speaker 1: Emma, I'm still working on farm over here.

937
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:13,960
Speaker 3: Trying to be given what they said they said, I'm

938
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 3: trying to be giving BBL allegations and tell me took

939
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:17,760
Speaker 3: allegations all summer.

940
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 1: Come on, all, could they already be like, hey, can

941
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: he have a tappy sack? She don't got no stretch.

942
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 3: First of all, it's okay if my mother had three

943
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,319
Speaker 3: kids in that one stretch mark on her body, not one.

944
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 3: She had a big old table top booty, well not

945
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,239
Speaker 3: now because she's lost a little bit away, but she

946
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 3: had a little booty on her and flat stomach and

947
00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 3: ads and everything. I'm like listening y'all, y'all about to

948
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 3: stress me out, but my cortisol let us through the

949
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,399
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying that it's gonna be foop

950
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 3: of forever. What to do when you're feeling misunderstood avoiding

951
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 3: jealous people. While jealousy is largely normal, it will not

952
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 3: serve you if the people around your resent your life.

953
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 3: Have you had to eradicate your life of people who

954
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 3: you felt like necessarily want the best for you?

955
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 1: Absolutely?

956
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 2: Absolutely?

957
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:04,879
Speaker 1: And what do you do at that point?

958
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 3: Because I normally just pray for discernment to know or

959
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 3: just forgot to remove those people from my life for

960
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 3: whatever reason. And there's some people who aren't around when

961
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,840
Speaker 3: I look around and like, what happened to And you

962
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 3: started to internalize it because you think it's you. I

963
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 3: was like, did I do something wrong? So I've actually

964
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 3: had a friend of mine who was like, I mean,

965
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 3: really good close friend for years, and eventually she just

966
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,319
Speaker 3: kind of stopped communicating with me. And I went through

967
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:31,720
Speaker 3: this phase of you know, okay, dialing back, what happened?

968
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: What did I do? What could I've said?

969
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 2: What I have done?

970
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 3: And then realizing after speaking to like a couple of

971
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 3: her family members and friends, they were like, no, she's

972
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:40,400
Speaker 3: just on a different walk right now.

973
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,400
Speaker 1: And I'm like, all right, well I had to respect that,

974
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: you know, And it was it was hard for me.

975
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,839
Speaker 3: It was almost like grieving this loss of a friend,

976
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 3: a sister almost and I was like, man, I don't

977
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:51,960
Speaker 3: know what I did to deserve that.

978
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:53,839
Speaker 2: And I was like, you know what, God, you knew,

979
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,919
Speaker 2: I almost remember what you prayed for. You just prayed

980
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 2: for discernments and to remove people places, absolutely things.

981
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 3: At the same happen where you've have aid to say.

982
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 3: You know, I can't just I can't be in communication

983
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 3: with this person or absolutely.

984
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:09,759
Speaker 2: You know, family, friends, business partners that I'm gone in

985
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,879
Speaker 2: a business with like this, we don't want the same thing.

986
00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 2: You're chasing money, right, I know the money's gonna come.

987
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,320
Speaker 2: I am chasing purpose and I do this because I

988
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 2: love it. I'm not chasing a dollar. I can't say

989
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 2: yes to everything that has a dollar sign on it,

990
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,320
Speaker 2: you know. So I've definitely experienced.

991
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:24,439
Speaker 1: That for sure.

992
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:28,479
Speaker 3: And trusting your instincts, right that gut that God people

993
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 3: say guts, so people say God, but paying attention to

994
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 3: what your gut or God says because it pays off

995
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 3: and it will avoid wasting time. Yeah, in certain circles

996
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:41,279
Speaker 3: that okay, that part, and surrounding yourself with people who

997
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 3: don't judge you, like we said, the people who you

998
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,240
Speaker 3: hang around your circle it's natural to have an opinion

999
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 3: or preference, but truly loving people who don't judge, they

1000
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:52,800
Speaker 3: fully know that normal hypocrisy is intrinsic to being human

1001
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 3: and seek.

1002
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 1: The love with what they can. So thank you for

1003
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 1: the fact. Since that's triple.

1004
00:45:57,880 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 3: Devow says, triples name a certain kind of way, and

1005
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,280
Speaker 3: I can say it right. Who's trouble our producer?

1006
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 2: I said, who is a website?

1007
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 1: Listen that that's what's sound like the website for sure?

1008
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is a great chat B. This

1009
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:16,720
Speaker 1: is a great Chatski's coming.

1010
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 2: To an end. Get the house.

1011
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:21,719
Speaker 1: It's all good. Let me tell you. People come here

1012
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 1: and they never want to leave.

1013
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,959
Speaker 2: Ay, I know they never want to They.

1014
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 1: Never want to leave. But as you round out the

1015
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 1: this portion of the conversation is we actually have listener letters.

1016
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 2: I want you to stick around and just answer one

1017
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 2: or two, just give some tips, advice, our two cents

1018
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:41,319
Speaker 2: and whatever the situation is. But as we round out

1019
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 2: the conversation about the evolution of B, is there anything

1020
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 2: you want to leave our people with knowing what's to

1021
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 2: look forward to as BE continues to evolve, Resilience, the Internet, people, things, addictions, habits.

1022
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 2: Negativity is gonna knock me down, and I'm gonna get

1023
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 2: up every time. And that's why I started the podcast.

1024
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 2: Let's try this again, resilient pivoting, figuring it out. You guys,

1025
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 2: be resilient, get up. Fight. Usually where you are lacking

1026
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 2: and where you're struggling and where the enemy is attacking

1027
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 2: you is where God is trying to use you. So

1028
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 2: fight got fight through that season. I will never stop.

1029
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 2: I don't care what the Internet says about me perceives

1030
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 2: me to be. I will go through those moments where

1031
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:24,839
Speaker 2: I have to self reflect and I might be sad,

1032
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 2: I might be like, why are baby, I'm gonna get

1033
00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 2: back up. I'm gonna keep fighting. So I just want

1034
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,360
Speaker 2: y'all to know that and all the people that do

1035
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 2: support me and love me. I ain't going nowhere.

1036
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:40,919
Speaker 1: Here on the way. That's a fact. That's a fact.

1037
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 3: Speak about being in the road devels, you know, filming,

1038
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 3: and he's you know, here and there and everywhere. So

1039
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 3: we're gonna have more moments like this where I'm sitting

1040
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 3: at with some of my favorite girls and guys and

1041
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:50,360
Speaker 3: we're gonna be having some chats.

1042
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: But back to yes, I think we should.

1043
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 2: Y'all tell her, y'all want her to bring me back.

1044
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 2: There's so many things to talk about. We've only scratched

1045
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 2: the surface of the conversation. I'm looking forward to some

1046
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,040
Speaker 2: more girl chat and live in the future. But we'll

1047
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 2: girl chat over some listening letters. Let's go pay some

1048
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:06,719
Speaker 2: bills and we.

1049
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 3: Will be right back with more be some know brailliant darling.

1050
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:22,719
Speaker 3: All right, and now we're back listening at the time,

1051
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,359
Speaker 3: I'm gonna dive right in. We're gonna see what these

1052
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:25,239
Speaker 3: people talking about today.

1053
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 1: We're supposed to give them advice, yeah, or you can

1054
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 1: just give your two cents on the story. It's not advice.

1055
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:34,280
Speaker 1: Don't listen to me. I'm just gonna tell you my experience.

1056
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, Because typically they write in for dival and

1057
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 2: I okay, it's not like a dude like, YO, what

1058
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 2: should I do?

1059
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 1: Sis, We're going to defer to the well, we'll have

1060
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:45,399
Speaker 1: to call on the phone a friend. All right, Hello

1061
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:45,919
Speaker 1: to you both.

1062
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 3: I want to say that this platform you both have

1063
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 3: created has been a benefit to so many and I

1064
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 3: hope you continue a bigger realm such as the talk

1065
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:53,359
Speaker 3: show Wink Wink.

1066
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,800
Speaker 1: I received that in the name of Jesus, thank you

1067
00:48:58,840 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 1: so much.

1068
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 2: Why I can't hit shout out to treble, I said

1069
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 2: that better At this time, I'm a thirty six year

1070
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 2: old black mail. See there's a brother ricer like I said,

1071
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,719
Speaker 2: I'm a thirty six year old black male who's looking

1072
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 2: to branch out on his own. I lived with my

1073
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 2: grandmother for fifteen years and I wanted to get away

1074
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 2: from under her wing. Well, in the midst of that,

1075
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 2: I've had three relationships which have failed and it caused

1076
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,680
Speaker 2: me to move back with her. My income has decreased

1077
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 2: due to the heavy child support I pay, and now

1078
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 2: it's hard to afford a place to live.

1079
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:29,760
Speaker 1: There's the kicker.

1080
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 3: I finally decided that I want to branch out on

1081
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:34,880
Speaker 3: my own and live my own life. And when that happened,

1082
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 3: my grandmother passed. Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to

1083
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 3: hear that.

1084
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:40,320
Speaker 2: I know the feeling.

1085
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was left with almost thirty K, but it

1086
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 3: was all taken away due to my grandmother's signing a

1087
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 3: vehicle loan for me right before she passed, and it

1088
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 3: was done to offset the loan. Yikes, my credit is

1089
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 3: terrible and there's no one to co sign on the

1090
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 3: loan for me. I'm left with eight K from the

1091
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 3: sale of her home now right a whole lot that's

1092
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 3: with a k from the sale of her home, But

1093
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,320
Speaker 3: I do have kids in a car loan, I have

1094
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:11,680
Speaker 3: to still continue to pay and try to get refinanced.

1095
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 3: I'm confused because I don't know what to do and

1096
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 3: I don't want to fall back into my old patterns,

1097
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 3: which could be possible because there are women who constantly

1098
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:22,919
Speaker 3: want to date me and want me to be with them.

1099
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 3: I'm making a conscious decision to say no, but when

1100
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 3: they extend help, I fall victim to.

1101
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 1: Help to the help that they provide.

1102
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 2: Because I have nowhere in caps to go and so

1103
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 2: little to take care of myself. I just want to

1104
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,280
Speaker 2: create my own independence and create better and healthier habits

1105
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:42,320
Speaker 2: and mindset. Please give me advice on where to go

1106
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 2: from here. I know you can't help everyone, but the

1107
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 2: advice is extremely appreciated.

1108
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh brother. This was a question for Develment

1109
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 1: because the loans and cars and this and that and

1110
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:54,759
Speaker 1: what to do.

1111
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 3: But I can understand how he feels just being stuck,

1112
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 3: just being completely still up. So first off, I understand

1113
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:06,280
Speaker 3: with the income coming in and then having heavy child support.

1114
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 3: Like I know a couple of people personally who this

1115
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:13,000
Speaker 3: has just literally been the biggest setback for them, is

1116
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 3: having to every month shell out money for their children

1117
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,040
Speaker 3: and then having nothing to themselves after that. And then

1118
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:22,880
Speaker 3: you have grandma who passed away. This is such a loaded,

1119
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,960
Speaker 3: loaded thing. Loaded, And then you don't want to be

1120
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 3: the guy right who is starting to like talk to

1121
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 3: women and date women. And then you know you're just

1122
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 3: the person that's there to receive whatever they're giving you,

1123
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 3: and not have you ever been in a situation where

1124
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 3: you were the person the kind of having to like

1125
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 3: take care of a guy or he was in a

1126
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 3: situation where he couldn't fend for himself.

1127
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 1: I flew a boy out one time, don't he got

1128
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 1: flewed out?

1129
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 2: It was so stupid. What No, I'm sorry, let's focus

1130
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 2: on this man.

1131
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:53,759
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.

1132
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 2: I triggered.

1133
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 1: I was triggered, all right, y'all to just say, you know,

1134
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 1: future man, make her mic. She's flewing people out.

1135
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 2: I think instead of focusing on the women that could

1136
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:07,800
Speaker 2: help him, he just needs to take this time and

1137
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:11,359
Speaker 2: focus vertically on God. I think he should fast because

1138
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:13,120
Speaker 2: God will tell him what to do next. I truly

1139
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:15,399
Speaker 2: believe in that. Okay, I think he should fast. What's

1140
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:16,720
Speaker 2: the benefits you've seen from fasting?

1141
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 4: Oh?

1142
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:22,800
Speaker 2: Personally, I never lived a fasted lifestyle until last summer.

1143
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:23,240
Speaker 1: Okay.

1144
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:27,759
Speaker 2: In every single time I fast, which have been four

1145
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:32,839
Speaker 2: times in the past, well three times for five times

1146
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 2: within the past year, God has told me exactly what

1147
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:37,520
Speaker 2: to do next. So if you don't know what to

1148
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:39,440
Speaker 2: do next, just do the last thing he told you

1149
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:43,279
Speaker 2: to do. Right, So I would fast, give up something.

1150
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 2: It doesn't always have to be food. I mean, biblical

1151
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 2: fasts are usually food. Yeah, because we create, we eat

1152
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,800
Speaker 2: so much all day every day. Right, But I fasted

1153
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 2: social media. I mean that was an addiction for me,

1154
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,320
Speaker 2: just scrolling and looking at the comments and liking and

1155
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:58,799
Speaker 2: so whatever you feel like is consuming most of your time,

1156
00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:02,360
Speaker 2: your time, your life, Yeah, your lifestyle. Yes, be specific

1157
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 2: in your fast. Brother, I'm telling you, like, ask guys

1158
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 2: specific questions and just fast. And I'm telling you, either

1159
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,399
Speaker 2: he'll speak through a person, he'll speak through a knowing,

1160
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 2: they'll speak through an idea, something might just That's how

1161
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:15,320
Speaker 2: I came up with my podcast.

1162
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 1: I was fascining.

1163
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 2: So I mean he'll he'll I truly believe if he fast,

1164
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 2: God will give him the next step.

1165
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, like you said, take it vertically.

1166
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:28,640
Speaker 3: Sometimes it's not even about the people around you, the

1167
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:31,200
Speaker 3: situations around you, because at first I was just like, shoot,

1168
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,239
Speaker 3: maybe you need to like get a part time gig.

1169
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:34,880
Speaker 3: I don't know what kind of money he's bringing in.

1170
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 3: You know, sometimes that's not even enough because you end

1171
00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:40,040
Speaker 3: up in this rat race of just trying to make

1172
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:42,600
Speaker 3: money you can't do nothing else. Yeah, yeah, I've been there.

1173
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 2: I've been that.

1174
00:53:43,480 --> 00:53:46,359
Speaker 1: Take it vertically, brother, take it or showing your God

1175
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 1: will tell you what to do next.

1176
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:50,440
Speaker 2: But now, when he tell you your job is to

1177
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 2: be obedient, it ain't always what you want to hear.

1178
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 1: You might have to cut somebody off right and have

1179
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 1: to walk away. You might have to leave a girl alone.

1180
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 1: You might have to He might say quit this job.

1181
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:02,320
Speaker 2: You don't even know why, right, But if he tells

1182
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:04,239
Speaker 2: you do it, I'm telling you whatever's on the other

1183
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:06,360
Speaker 2: side of that is beautiful. Love that.

1184
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, awesome advice. Thank you, Thank you.

1185
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:10,759
Speaker 3: And to round out our listening letters, we have one

1186
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 3: more for the road. What's the word Kadina de Belle Well,

1187
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:15,840
Speaker 3: could he ea be today? I just started listening to

1188
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 3: the podcast from January to present, and I've damn near

1189
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 3: watched majority of the episodes. I was introduced to you

1190
00:54:21,640 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 3: guys when I bought the book. Just want to say

1191
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 3: I appreciate all platforms.

1192
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 1: Thank you so much.

1193
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 2: So cool.

1194
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:28,160
Speaker 1: I'm twenty four and my girlfriend is twenty but we

1195
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: have two brothers writing and today. Or it could be

1196
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 1: a girl.

1197
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:33,280
Speaker 3: We don't know, because sometimes we have a girl, girlfriends

1198
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:35,920
Speaker 3: and girlfriends. I'm twenty four, my girlfriend is twenty three.

1199
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:39,239
Speaker 3: We've been together for seven years since high school. We

1200
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,720
Speaker 3: went long distance for three of those years and eventually

1201
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:44,360
Speaker 3: reunited and bought a house together. I say that to

1202
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 3: say I feel like we've always found ourselves back to

1203
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:50,000
Speaker 3: each other because I know that she loves me, But

1204
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 3: damn I do not feel like I get the respect

1205
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 3: I deserve. Almost a year ago, I got into a shootout. Jesus, wait,

1206
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 3: what an actual you say? Okay, got into a shootout

1207
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 3: trying to protect her from an altercation, and I ended

1208
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 3: up getting shot six times, baby, get shot six times

1209
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:14,879
Speaker 3: and losing my car in the process. Crazy part is yes,

1210
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 3: that you're living to tell the story. Crazy part is

1211
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,360
Speaker 3: I am not from Houston where this happened, and I

1212
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:25,279
Speaker 3: have no enemies. I'm from Chicago and I served in

1213
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 3: the Army for four years. It's ironic to me, loo crazy.

1214
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:33,880
Speaker 3: The war zone in our cities are more dangerous than overseas,

1215
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 3: but that's not the topic. But knowing my girl was

1216
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 3: in the middle of a shootout, Jesus, I just went

1217
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:42,359
Speaker 3: into protect mode. I woke up in the hospital seeing

1218
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 3: her with not a scratch on her. It made me

1219
00:55:44,719 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 3: very happy and relieved. I did not care how badly

1220
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 3: my body was damaged. I was just concerned about her.

1221
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 3: I know she loves me, and she wouldn't leave my

1222
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 3: side in the hospital, even when my family offered to

1223
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,400
Speaker 3: watch over me so she could take a break and

1224
00:55:56,480 --> 00:56:00,840
Speaker 3: she refused. I always had respect for her, but seeing

1225
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 3: that side made me develop more.

1226
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 2: I don't feel like it's the same for her. When

1227
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 2: I speak my mind, I feel like it's met with

1228
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 2: her being reactive to what I say. I've attempted to

1229
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:13,640
Speaker 2: change the way I speak to her several times with

1230
00:56:13,719 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 2: the same outcome. It feels like if I have an

1231
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:19,680
Speaker 2: opinion that she automatically is labeled as sensitive or if

1232
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,200
Speaker 2: I have an opinion, I'm labeled as sensitive. She gets

1233
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:25,799
Speaker 2: upset as if she feels like I'm trying to attack her.

1234
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 2: I truly don't understand.

1235
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 3: Not gonna lie hurts because I feel like we both

1236
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 3: should be in a point where a mutual respect is

1237
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:36,320
Speaker 3: considering what we've both been through. I kind of expect

1238
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 3: her to see how much I loved her after what happened,

1239
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,239
Speaker 3: since it seemed like that she doesn't understand how much

1240
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:43,840
Speaker 3: I care about her, but it does not seem like

1241
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:44,319
Speaker 3: she does.

1242
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:45,280
Speaker 1: I hate arguing.

1243
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 3: I'm very logical and I don't like to hold onto stuff,

1244
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 3: especially going through the experience almost losing my life without

1245
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:54,799
Speaker 3: saying goodbye. I don't want to take it for granted. Oh,

1246
00:56:54,880 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 3: this is a good one for devout. Devout as a man,

1247
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:59,480
Speaker 3: what's your thoughts at this point? I want to just

1248
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 3: close off option my opinions to her and just deal

1249
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:03,920
Speaker 3: with it on my own CD as a woman, what

1250
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,840
Speaker 3: do you think any experience with being reactive or defensive

1251
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,919
Speaker 3: and how it changed? Appreciate y'all and please don't stop

1252
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:13,280
Speaker 3: spreading y'all wisdom and love to the world. You answer

1253
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 3: that one, so first off, brother, I'm so sorry to

1254
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:20,880
Speaker 3: hear that this even happened, that you were in a

1255
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 3: situation like this. It's funny because as much as they

1256
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:26,680
Speaker 3: give us sometimes be it's like there's a backstory there.

1257
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:29,320
Speaker 3: So we want to know, like, how did this altercation

1258
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 3: need to come to be? How did she end up

1259
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 3: in this shoe out? Like that's just not like a

1260
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 3: random argument. You didn't say a fistfight, No, exactly.

1261
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,880
Speaker 1: It wasn't like an argument. This was like a full on,

1262
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:40,920
Speaker 1: like could you have lost your life? Situation?

1263
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 3: So I'm curious to know, first off, how we even

1264
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 3: got there, you know, but I have been in situation

1265
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:50,760
Speaker 3: to answer his question about as a woman, you know,

1266
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:53,560
Speaker 3: being closed off to his opinions. For example, when Deval

1267
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:55,680
Speaker 3: and I have discussions and he tells me how he feels.

1268
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 3: One thing I did have to learn was that I

1269
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 3: don't necessarily need to be defensive when he is expressing to.

1270
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 2: Me how he feels. How he feels is how he

1271
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,160
Speaker 2: feels how he feels. And far too often we have.

1272
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 3: Not encouraged our men, particularly black men, to be open

1273
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 3: and vulnerable and say how they feel.

1274
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 1: It's like, you want the.

1275
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:19,400
Speaker 3: Communication, but when they start to communicate, then we label

1276
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:21,800
Speaker 3: them as sensitive. And Deval kind of got on me

1277
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 3: one time when he was saying how he felt about something,

1278
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:27,240
Speaker 3: and I was just like, yo, I just don't want

1279
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:29,760
Speaker 3: to hear you bitching and moaning about it, Jesus, And

1280
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 3: he was like, oh, so now I'm bitching and moaning.

1281
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:34,600
Speaker 3: So you asked me to express how I feel, and

1282
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 3: I'm telling you how I feel, but now you're labeling

1283
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 3: it as bitching and moanings.

1284
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:41,000
Speaker 1: What that does is it takes away from now you're guarded.

1285
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, he's guarded now, but it also takes away

1286
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:45,560
Speaker 3: from his point and what he was trying to say.

1287
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 3: And I think that as women we need to create

1288
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,080
Speaker 3: safe spaces or as partners or spouses in general and

1289
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:53,560
Speaker 3: be when you get into a relationship, creating safe spaces

1290
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 3: for our significant others to really express how they feel

1291
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,840
Speaker 3: without feeling like it's an attack necessary. And I think

1292
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 3: that that's what she's not doing for him in this space.

1293
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:07,400
Speaker 3: Not sure how they communicate because also too, are they

1294
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:09,400
Speaker 3: arguing with each other? Are they biggering?

1295
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:12,440
Speaker 2: Are they just sitting down and having an actual conversation?

1296
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 2: Are we talking with the intent to get our point across,

1297
00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:18,480
Speaker 2: or are we talking with the intent to actually listen

1298
00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:21,000
Speaker 2: and understand. Like, there's just so many different working parts,

1299
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:24,760
Speaker 2: especially within a relationship when you think about communication and

1300
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 2: considering someone else's feelings. So what I would encourage this

1301
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 2: young man to do is to first off, make sure

1302
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 2: that the approach that he's taken with this girl, because

1303
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 2: she may come across is feeling attacked or sensitive. To

1304
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:38,440
Speaker 2: let her know that my intention is not to attack

1305
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 2: you ex or to diminish how you feel, or to

1306
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 2: make it seem like you've necessarily done something wrong. But

1307
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:46,640
Speaker 2: these chain of events had led me to feel the

1308
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 2: way I feel, and the way I feel is the

1309
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 2: way I feel. That's not up for discussion because you

1310
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:53,720
Speaker 2: can't talk me out of feeling the way I feel.

1311
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:55,960
Speaker 2: What we can talk about is what you did that

1312
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:58,480
Speaker 2: maybe got me there. But it's important to create a

1313
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 2: safe space where he can even just rest that. So

1314
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:03,600
Speaker 2: my advice to you, brother, I'm not sure what Deval

1315
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:05,560
Speaker 2: would say to you in this circumstance, but from and

1316
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:09,680
Speaker 2: from me is to make it a space where she

1317
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,720
Speaker 2: feels comfortable to say how she feels and encourage her

1318
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 2: to do the same for you and let her know

1319
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:15,880
Speaker 2: that I did.

1320
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:19,240
Speaker 1: I've been shot six times fore sis, I'm still here.

1321
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:21,200
Speaker 2: Right and I'm still here.

1322
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 3: I am still here, So I'm still here and if

1323
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:29,520
Speaker 3: you want me to continue to be here, we need

1324
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 3: to find a better way to communicate, and you not

1325
01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 3: take things personally. Because you did something that made me

1326
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 3: feel away doesn't necessarily mean that you're a bad person.

1327
01:00:37,560 --> 01:00:40,000
Speaker 1: But we have to also talk about how we got here.

1328
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, so good luck to y'all on that one, man,

1329
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 3: because that is a rough situation to come back from,

1330
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 3: a rough situation to come back. I feel like we

1331
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:50,800
Speaker 3: might almost I have to talk to de Val about

1332
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:52,320
Speaker 3: this one too, when we might have a follow up,

1333
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 3: you know, on a future episode.

1334
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 1: Where he can give his two sets of both of

1335
01:00:56,720 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 1: these listener letters.

1336
01:00:57,600 --> 01:00:59,200
Speaker 2: Yet, because these were both there, I think you would

1337
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:02,840
Speaker 2: have some great on Yeah really, I didn't know ya.

1338
01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 2: We get letters like let me tell you, I was

1339
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 2: like somezing chuckle, and then some were just like whoa,

1340
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:14,120
Speaker 2: people are over here, man, it's people be going through stuff.

1341
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:16,960
Speaker 2: And if you're still going through stuff, be sure to

1342
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 2: write us at dead as Advice at gmail dot com.

1343
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:21,520
Speaker 1: We want to hear from you. As a listener letter

1344
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:24,640
Speaker 1: that's d E A d A S S A d

1345
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:27,400
Speaker 1: V I C E at gmail dot com.

1346
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:30,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. All right, So to round out the show before

1347
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 2: we let you go, we had this segment called the

1348
01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 2: Moment of Truth, and it's pretty much just in summary,

1349
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:40,720
Speaker 2: a recap of what you've gathered from this conversation, something

1350
01:01:40,760 --> 01:01:43,640
Speaker 2: you want to leave people with a quick takeaway.

1351
01:01:43,960 --> 01:01:46,320
Speaker 3: So it's almost like the sound bite in the beginning

1352
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,240
Speaker 3: and then what we're doing at the end to wrap

1353
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:49,920
Speaker 3: it up. So your sound bye in the beginning has

1354
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:53,000
Speaker 3: something to do with being misunderstood. Still makes you kind

1355
01:01:53,040 --> 01:01:55,760
Speaker 3: of feel away sometimes and you're working through that. So

1356
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,320
Speaker 3: after the conversation, it could be anything that we spoke about.

1357
01:01:58,360 --> 01:01:59,240
Speaker 3: What's your moment of truth?

1358
01:01:59,320 --> 01:01:59,560
Speaker 5: You know what?

1359
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:01,520
Speaker 2: With the truth, I am.

1360
01:02:01,600 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 1: Committing to not giving up. Yes, I'm committing to that.

1361
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 2: I do it every single day day, admit to day

1362
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:13,640
Speaker 2: and that it didn't didn't bother me either.

1363
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't care. I don't care it.

1364
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 1: Don't even read it.

1365
01:02:18,280 --> 01:02:20,600
Speaker 2: I know, I don't. You just post it, don't even

1366
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 2: read I post, and just.

1367
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:22,400
Speaker 1: Don't even read.

1368
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:24,240
Speaker 3: I may in the very beginning, like look through a

1369
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:26,560
Speaker 3: couple of comments just to like engage really quick. But

1370
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:28,120
Speaker 3: then I'm on to the next thing because I feel

1371
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:31,120
Speaker 3: like when I post, I'm posting not for the way

1372
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:33,600
Speaker 3: people are going to receive it, per se. I'm posting

1373
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:35,080
Speaker 3: because I wanted to post that in that moment. I

1374
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:36,320
Speaker 3: wanted to get that out, and I want to get

1375
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:37,640
Speaker 3: that out and take.

1376
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:39,440
Speaker 2: What you want from it. Leave it if you want

1377
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:41,560
Speaker 2: to leave up negative comments, if you're not going through it,

1378
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:45,960
Speaker 2: lead them. Wow, I leave it because usually shout out

1379
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 2: to my people who rock with me, they'll swarm and

1380
01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:51,080
Speaker 2: then before you know where that negative comment is going

1381
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:53,840
Speaker 2: because it was probably something stupid and valid anyway to

1382
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:54,240
Speaker 2: begin with.

1383
01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:56,360
Speaker 1: So I let my people handle up. It's like, you know,

1384
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:58,080
Speaker 1: I got my people behind me.

1385
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:00,439
Speaker 2: That no deal.

1386
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 3: They know my heart, they know my intentions, they know

1387
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,840
Speaker 3: that we're fully transparent in so many aspects that it's

1388
01:03:05,960 --> 01:03:07,920
Speaker 3: like you can say the negative comment.

1389
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:09,040
Speaker 1: But just know you're gonna be dealt with.

1390
01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, you'll be dealt with.

1391
01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:12,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm committing to this. I love that.

1392
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 3: I love that my moment of truth is to continue

1393
01:03:15,600 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 3: to stand in my truth, which is being unapologetic of

1394
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:22,560
Speaker 3: who about who I am. If I am misunderstood, caring

1395
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:24,680
Speaker 3: a lot less about that because just knowing that if

1396
01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:27,200
Speaker 3: I lead with authenticity, if I lead with being who

1397
01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 3: I am, that it leaves room for people who want

1398
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:34,400
Speaker 3: to believe otherwise to do that on their own time. Yeah,

1399
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:37,280
Speaker 3: not on mind, Yeah, not on my wife. Yeah, period,

1400
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 3: I love. Okay, what's one thing you're dead ass about?

1401
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:43,360
Speaker 1: It is like a new thing. I'm putting a pot

1402
01:03:43,480 --> 01:03:45,160
Speaker 1: when I have my people in sound a day with

1403
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 1: K I am dead ass about. I'm dead ass about

1404
01:03:49,920 --> 01:03:50,600
Speaker 1: loving myself.

1405
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:55,040
Speaker 2: Yes, Like, look that's real because I'm realizing I have

1406
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:57,560
Speaker 2: to work on self worth. But I've always had self love,

1407
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:01,080
Speaker 2: like love, patient, kind about to I'm all of those

1408
01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:01,760
Speaker 2: things to myself.

1409
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 1: But I am working on self worth, self worth and

1410
01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:06,880
Speaker 1: self I've always had self love, but not self.

1411
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:09,120
Speaker 2: Worth worth because if I knew my words, I wouldn't

1412
01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:10,360
Speaker 2: put myself in certain situations.

1413
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:12,080
Speaker 1: That's a good one, that's all.

1414
01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:12,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1415
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:13,840
Speaker 1: I'm dead ass about my self.

1416
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:16,120
Speaker 3: Love and seeing this moment right now, I am dead

1417
01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 3: ass about I'm dead that's about my joy.

1418
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 2: That's good.

1419
01:04:19,680 --> 01:04:21,800
Speaker 3: I'm dead ass about doing the things that make me happy.

1420
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:23,680
Speaker 3: If it means that I'm gonna.

1421
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:26,320
Speaker 1: Be in my bed for the day, for the day.

1422
01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:28,960
Speaker 1: May you find me there. I told my kids that yesterday.

1423
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, we got y'all, we got the food.

1424
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:33,480
Speaker 2: Y'all done ate.

1425
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:37,440
Speaker 3: I took y'all to get Italian icys. The semi finals

1426
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 3: are on for the NBA whatever. This is where I'm

1427
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:41,840
Speaker 3: gonna be at. And what happened All four of them

1428
01:04:41,960 --> 01:04:42,560
Speaker 3: was in the bed with me.

1429
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,680
Speaker 1: And that's my joy. Yeah, that's my joy. I am

1430
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 1: deadass about my joy.

1431
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:47,040
Speaker 2: I love that.

1432
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:48,520
Speaker 1: I love it all right, be telling them where they

1433
01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:50,400
Speaker 1: can find you. Baby Official.

1434
01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:55,440
Speaker 2: For all tour dates you guys, the b simone on Instagram,

1435
01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 2: all platforms. And let's try this again podcast all about Rezili.

1436
01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,000
Speaker 2: It's growing. We have fun on there. You'll see my

1437
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:03,760
Speaker 2: goofy side on there. Then you're gonna get my deep

1438
01:05:03,800 --> 01:05:05,520
Speaker 2: side because I still like to laugh and have fun.

1439
01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:06,960
Speaker 1: Oh for sure. We like a cohesion.

1440
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 2: You like a little bit of everything, a little bit

1441
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:11,880
Speaker 2: of everything exactly. And y'all know where to find us Patreon,

1442
01:05:11,960 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 2: Ganggang shout out to y'all, Thank you so much. That's

1443
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:17,160
Speaker 2: where you get exclusive dead ass podcast content. You also

1444
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:20,400
Speaker 2: get a day with k content all day k ellis

1445
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:23,560
Speaker 2: family content is lit over on Patreon, So if you

1446
01:05:23,640 --> 01:05:25,760
Speaker 2: haven't subscribed, subscribe so you.

1447
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:26,240
Speaker 1: Can catch up.

1448
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:28,439
Speaker 3: And you can find us on social media dead Ass

1449
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:30,560
Speaker 3: the Podcast. You can find me at Kadeen I am,

1450
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 3: and you can find hubby even though he's busy filming

1451
01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:35,400
Speaker 3: and doing all the things being a whole ass actor.

1452
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:38,920
Speaker 3: Come on, Leading Mail, Come on, my husband's leading Mail.

1453
01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:40,360
Speaker 3: I'll wait in for them to figure that out because

1454
01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:43,840
Speaker 3: I already know. I already know leading Mail. Okay, find

1455
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:45,760
Speaker 3: him at I am Zavale. And if you're listening on

1456
01:05:45,840 --> 01:05:50,560
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe. Dead Ass,

1457
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 3: y'all would be simone.

1458
01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:52,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1459
01:05:53,320 --> 01:05:56,400
Speaker 4: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and

1460
01:05:56,440 --> 01:06:00,200
Speaker 4: its produced by Donorpina and Triple. Follow the podcast on

1461
01:06:00,280 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 4: social media at dead Ass the Podcast and never miss

1462
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:03,240
Speaker 4: a Thing