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Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast

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Speaker 1: Build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.

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Speaker 2: Welcome into Unbreakable, a mental wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.

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Speaker 2: I'm Jay Glazer. Got a great guess for you today.

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Speaker 2: You definitely heard him. You've seen him play football, He's

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Speaker 2: won Super Bowls. But before I get to him, if

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Speaker 2: you're like many people, you may be surprised to learn

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Speaker 2: that one in five adults in this country experienced mental

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Speaker 2: illness last year. You get far too many failed to

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Speaker 2: receive the support they need. Carolyn Behavioral Health is doing

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Speaker 2: something about it. They understand that behavioral health is a

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Speaker 2: key part of whole health, delivering compassionate care that treats physical, mental, emotional,

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Speaker 2: and social needs and tenem Carolyn behavioral health raising the

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Speaker 2: quality of life through empathy and action. With that, I

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Speaker 2: want to bring in how do I introduce them?

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Speaker 3: Error?

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Speaker 2: So two Tom Super Bowl champion Patriots. He was there

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Speaker 2: for the twenty eight three game, obviously for the Patriots

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Speaker 2: Philadelphia Eagles. Oh I got a great tattoo as a

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Speaker 2: result of that win. Uh second round pick of the

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Speaker 2: Saint Louis Rams, but also probably best accomplishment, Walter Payton

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Speaker 2: Man of the Year Award gave up his entire twenty

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Speaker 2: seventeen salary to charity and host of the green Light

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Speaker 2: podcast One and Only my nephew, Chris Long, How are you, brother?

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Speaker 3: Uncle Jay's.

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Speaker 2: People, don't you know? Sometimes it's funny we go back.

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Speaker 2: I've known you since you were like nine, I think, yeah,

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Speaker 2: had nine or eleven.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and even then you were taller than me. That's

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Speaker 3: what I was going to say. Yeah, yeah, we got

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Speaker 3: quite the history, man, you know. And we have one

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Speaker 3: close friend in common, Kyle Long. Yeah, yeah, Kyle Long.

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Speaker 2: And that other guy who looks like yeah, he looks

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Speaker 2: like look at Fred Getstad, at Herman Munster, all combined

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Speaker 2: obviously my brother Howry Long. So I call Chris my nephew.

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Speaker 2: So here's it. I want to dive in a few things.

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Speaker 2: But you know, your podcast wildly successful, and you know,

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Speaker 2: I work with a lot of these players of you know,

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Speaker 2: when they're retired how to handle transition. Had to handle retirement,

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Speaker 2: which is difficult for a lot of guys that jump

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Speaker 2: out to try to find the next thing. You lose

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Speaker 2: your your team, you lose your structure. More than anything

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Speaker 2: like your schedule for the first time in your life.

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Speaker 2: You don't know where to go, when to go, who

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Speaker 2: to go with, who to sit with, who to eat with.

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Speaker 2: How did the genesis or the crux of your podcast

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Speaker 2: come about? Because this was you started when there really

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Speaker 2: wasn't you know a lot of these players are now

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Speaker 2: following your lead. But it was like you and Pat

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Speaker 2: McAfee and that was really it. So how to tell

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Speaker 2: me that? I've never asked youesus, I've never dived in

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Speaker 2: to how the genesis of this started.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I never thought about it, like the thing you

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Speaker 3: just said with Pat and me and there's a couple

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Speaker 3: other guys. I'm sure there have been podcasts in a while, but.

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Speaker 2: You know, not like how you guys have blown it up. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, I mean like we've been lucky and more than anything,

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Speaker 3: we've just been consistent, you know, Like I mean there's

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Speaker 3: still days where I'm like, what the are we doing?

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Speaker 2: This is my podcast?

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Speaker 3: You know, what the fuck are we doing here? You know, like,

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Speaker 3: what the fuck am I doing here? You know, like

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Speaker 3: is this a purpose? Am I happy doing this? Does

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Speaker 3: this seem successful? Like? Is this success? Is this who

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Speaker 3: I want to be? Do I want to be a podcaster.

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Speaker 3: Like it's a weird thing to go from like a

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Speaker 3: gladiator to like a guy with a microphone that's supposed

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Speaker 3: to be intellectual and you know, have these thought provoking

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Speaker 3: conversations and overanalyzed stuff and sensationalized stuff. You know. The

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Speaker 3: media is what you make it, Jay, right. You know.

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Speaker 3: I think back in the day, it was like, hey,

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Speaker 3: the media is I used to talk to coaching about this,

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Speaker 3: Like the media, there's us and there's them, you know,

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Speaker 3: that whole thing. And I understand that b writers and

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Speaker 3: you know the history of people that have to get

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Speaker 3: a story out, and you know, twenty four hour news cycle,

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Speaker 3: you got ESPN, you got a mind for topics every day.

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Speaker 3: So there is this this kind of thought that like

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Speaker 3: the media is all one thing. But I think what

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Speaker 3: players have done is they've cut out the middleman. And

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Speaker 3: not that I'm saying the middleman's a bad guy. I

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Speaker 3: think the media is extremely important. We don't get paid

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Speaker 3: as much as we get paid. You look at that

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Speaker 3: new salary cap of north to two hundred and fifty

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Speaker 3: five million dollars in the NFL, Like these are huge numbers,

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Speaker 3: and TV deals matter. The media matters. So I'm appreciative

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Speaker 3: all of that, but we wanted to do things differently,

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Speaker 3: Like I wanted to do things on my terms and

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Speaker 3: be the boss. And long story short, I just I

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Speaker 3: started thinking about at the end of my career, and.

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Speaker 2: What at the end of your last year or like

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Speaker 2: two years or three years.

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Speaker 3: Or so, probably my last year because you know, like

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Speaker 3: backing up twenty seventeen, I ended up in Philly, got

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Speaker 3: very lucky, was a part of a super Bowl team.

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Speaker 3: You know, it was my second and two years very lucky,

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Speaker 3: just right place, right time. I liken it to like

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Speaker 3: picking a Super Bowl future as a player. You know,

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Speaker 3: we can't gamble, but that was my best long shot

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Speaker 3: odds bet on the Eagles, like to go there in

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Speaker 3: free agency to leave the Pats. We won a super

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Speaker 3: Bowl twenty eighteen, I wasn't as happy. I was real

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Speaker 3: happy in Philly. I love being an Eagle and all

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Speaker 3: that stuff, but you know, the realities of being a

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Speaker 3: vet in the NFL, and like the way people look

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Speaker 3: at you and count you out and your body and

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Speaker 3: all stuff. I was like, man, I'm about to be done,

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Speaker 3: Like at some point here I need to be done.

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Speaker 3: And I think it's always important. I think how you

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Speaker 3: leave the game so important to your psyche, Like you

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Speaker 3: where you run out of the league. Did you leave

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Speaker 3: on your own terms? How did you leave? Like there's

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Speaker 3: only a few ways you can leave, and most of

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Speaker 3: them aren't good.

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Speaker 2: So that's a forever memory, right, it's like your last memory, yeah,

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Speaker 2: instead of it's so hard for us to go back

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Speaker 2: and think, like I got to force myself to think

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Speaker 2: about the things I've done in the past instead of yesterday.

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Speaker 3: Yes, no, no, no question, And like whether you whether you're

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Speaker 3: dwelling on it or not, it dictates the way your

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Speaker 3: thought patterns go and the way you every day. When

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Speaker 3: I look at football, we all have regrets. We all

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Speaker 3: have things we wish we did. We all have maybe

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Speaker 3: some I mean, nobody leaves the game clean, right, you know,

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Speaker 3: we all. I won two Super Bowls at it in

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Speaker 3: my career. Couldn't have gone better. And I still have regrets.

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Speaker 3: I still dwell on the past. I'm still hard on myself.

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Speaker 3: And you know, I think going into that transition, it's

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Speaker 3: like you're a baby, dude, You're just you're learning to

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Speaker 3: walk again. It's a totally different reality, and it's hard

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Speaker 3: for anybody to anticipate, even me, who I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to plan this out. It's important to have

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Speaker 3: a plan for what you want to do before you finish.

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Speaker 3: And I kind of started planning a little bit preliminarily

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Speaker 3: in twenty eighteen, and then when I retired, I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I got this plan. I'm going to go and act it.

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Speaker 3: And of course your plans are shit. You realize as

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Speaker 3: you're getting going that you don't know anything, and so

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Speaker 3: you know, I think for me the media, making a

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Speaker 3: decision to have my own podcast was dictated by a

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Speaker 3: couple of things. I was afraid of retirement. I was

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Speaker 3: afraid of idle time. I do not I'm a grinder.

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Speaker 3: I like to work. I like to have a purpose.

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Speaker 3: I like to build something. I'm creative. So the creative

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Speaker 3: part excited me, but it was mostly about like, I'm

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Speaker 3: afraid of what I will will happen to me if

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Speaker 3: I don't have a job, Like straight up, like all

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Speaker 3: the horror stories you know, you hear and they can

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Speaker 3: kind of compound and it can be a self fulfilling

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Speaker 3: prophecy if you're like, well, that's just what's gonna happen

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Speaker 3: to me. I'm gonna lose my fucking mind. I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: have all this idle time. I'm gonna get a divorce.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna lose all my money, Like you know, all

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Speaker 3: the horror stories. I was like, if I can just

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Speaker 3: figure out a purpose, I'll be okay. And so through

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Speaker 3: that purpose, what I've realized over the last couple of

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Speaker 3: years is I didn't know anything too. I'm a workaholic

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Speaker 3: and I've needed to chill out on that because it's

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Speaker 3: almost like I got out and worked more than I

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Speaker 3: did when I played, which we got.

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Speaker 2: To learn how to excel.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a mistake, but it's one that I'm okay

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Speaker 3: with learning on the fly, you know, Like I'm I

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Speaker 3: think making mistakes is a really good way to learn.

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Speaker 2: And tell me why that's a mistake, because I want

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Speaker 2: players to use because I always Yeah, I talked to

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Speaker 2: a lot of guys and I'm like, listen, you you

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Speaker 2: spilt the blood, you put the foot out there. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you need to find something, but you also learn how

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Speaker 2: to you have to learn. Say, I put my body

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Speaker 2: throughout so I can excel, so I can enjoy. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: the next part of my life, So explain that a

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Speaker 2: little bit more.

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Speaker 3: Think it's a mistake to go write it. It's good

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Speaker 3: to have a plan, but in your plan there needs

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Speaker 3: to be a decompression period. You need to force yourself

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Speaker 3: to face your fear if you have a plan, If

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Speaker 3: you have a plan and you know that, hey, in

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Speaker 3: six to eight months, I'm going to get to work

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Speaker 3: on this business venture. I have it seeded. I'm doing

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Speaker 3: kind of like preliminary work. I've done the homework. I've

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Speaker 3: got this thing outlined out, but I need to sit

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Speaker 3: with my family for a couple months. I need to

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Speaker 3: figure myself out a little bit. I think in retirement

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Speaker 3: you learn so much about yourself that football has. Football

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Speaker 3: obscures all your problems. It's like a band aid. You know,

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Speaker 3: it can create problems and the stresses and the you know,

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Speaker 3: like the existential crisis of being a football player and

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Speaker 3: all that stuff and the transition. But more than anything,

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Speaker 3: like you don't work on yourself from you work on

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Speaker 3: your body, You work on your your mind. You work

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Speaker 3: on your football career from the time. If you're like me,

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Speaker 3: from sixteen to thirty eight, I was one thing. So

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Speaker 3: there's no room to work on yourself. There's no that

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Speaker 3: thing is obscuring your view. And as great as it is,

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Speaker 3: you got to you got to rip that band aid

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Speaker 3: off and you have to be supported socially. You have

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Speaker 3: to have friends. You have to have you know, if

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Speaker 3: you've got family, you have to have a home base.

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Speaker 3: I was lucky to have all those things, right, I

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Speaker 3: had a plan, But what I didn't give myself was

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Speaker 3: a fucking break, dude. You know, like I think I

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Speaker 3: went since I retired. I took my first week vacation

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Speaker 3: maybe like a year and a half ago, and now

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Speaker 3: we're retired, how long like four or five years. I'm

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Speaker 3: not saying this like I work, dude, that's just what

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Speaker 3: I like to do. I have to be in movement,

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Speaker 3: but there are other ways, Like I think you have

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Speaker 3: to get good at you know, this idle time, bro,

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Speaker 3: because that's what that's what sinks a lot of guys

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Speaker 3: if they don't know how to how to be bored.

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Speaker 3: You know, you've you've got to learn to be bored

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Speaker 3: a little bit. Because the NFL is like this, right,

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Speaker 3: We're really good at riding the wave and the loads

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Speaker 3: are tremendous and the highs are amazing, retirements more like this.

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Speaker 3: It's flatline and that is a really scary thing for me,

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Speaker 3: and it's a scary thing for a lot of guys.

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Speaker 3: Like I can handle the roller coaster ride. I live

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Speaker 3: for that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you live for chaos, the comp I always said,

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Speaker 2: I'm great chaos man. I sucking calm and that, yeah,

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Speaker 2: right in the com is when the roommates in your

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Speaker 2: head just don't get along. And you got to be

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Speaker 2: crazy to be on this level and your roommates don't

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Speaker 2: get along. That's the biggest journey I've had is trying

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Speaker 2: to get myself to have the roommates in my head

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Speaker 2: get along. In the calm where I don't you know,

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Speaker 2: I would cause chaos, and a lot of times bad

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Speaker 2: chaos because I felt better and bad chaos, any kind

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Speaker 2: of chaos than the colmn you're talking about.

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Speaker 3: Well, you used to. You're used to pushing yourself, used

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Speaker 3: to people pushing you really hard. So like if you're

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Speaker 3: an NFL player, every week it's a day, it's a

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Speaker 3: box of chocolate. It's like you don't know what you're

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Speaker 3: gonna get. It could be Monday morning, Sunday night, the

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Speaker 3: best night of your life. You know, Monday. Great day. People,

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Speaker 3: you're reading your press clip, ands people are patting you

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Speaker 3: on the back. It's a good vibe I've been in

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Speaker 3: the facility, or you see a Wednesday even better, or

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Speaker 3: it's I don't want to go to the grocery store,

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Speaker 3: like there's no food in my fridge because I don't

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Speaker 3: want to leave the house except for to go to

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Speaker 3: the facility because I am so embarrassed by the way

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Speaker 3: a defense played or I missed a tackle, or I

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Speaker 3: can't stop beating myself up over this thing. And it

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Speaker 3: continues into retirement, by the way, which is something that

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Speaker 3: like I still haven't figured that part out, but I

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Speaker 3: will tell you I'm getting a lot better at riding

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Speaker 3: the even keeled wave. And I think if I could

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Speaker 3: give any yeah, like advice, Yeah, everybody deserves it. But

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Speaker 3: my advice to a younger guy when you get out

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Speaker 3: is like, you got to get used to that still

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Speaker 3: waters thing. Man, You know, you you just it might

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Speaker 3: be the scariest thing in the world to you. Some

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Speaker 3: guys I play with are like they can't wait to

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Speaker 3: sit on the porch, you know. And I love time

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Speaker 3: to myself and I love doing nothing. But I'm talking

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Speaker 3: about not knowing what's ahead of you a week from

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Speaker 3: just hey, no structure for a little bit, take some time,

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Speaker 3: work on yourself. Do not lose the hunger to get

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Speaker 3: in the gym. Don't let your health kind of slip,

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Speaker 3: because I kind of did it. I was dealing with

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Speaker 3: pain and stuff and I couldn't do certain things physically,

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Speaker 3: Like my neck was really bad for you. I couldn't

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Speaker 3: like turn my neck like the way my dad turns

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Speaker 3: his neck. That's why I was turning my neck. So,

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Speaker 3: you know, I couldn't lift like so I was losing weight.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't healthy. I was staying up late, you know,

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Speaker 3: working till two three in the morning. I treated my

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Speaker 3: body like a temple for twenty two years.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I would go out and drink and have fun.

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Speaker 3: Like I'm not like some square, but I definitely I

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Speaker 3: invested in my health. I think when you get out

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Speaker 3: there's no roadmap that same thing that's terrifying in a

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Speaker 3: sense of like just you don't have anything to do.

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Speaker 3: The most terrifying part is you need some structure. And

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Speaker 3: I'm not talking about like you need a job immediately.

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Speaker 3: What I am saying is like if your downtime needs

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Speaker 3: to involve eating right, exercising, sleeping, social interaction, you know,

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Speaker 3: be around your friends and then build the rest of

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Speaker 3: your life out because if you start doing that that's

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Speaker 3: going to take You're gonna get consumed and whatever it is,

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Speaker 3: whether you're going up to New York to be in

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Speaker 3: finance or you're getting the media, you're coaching, Like, you

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Speaker 3: got to take care of yourself. Your body just went

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Speaker 3: through a lot of trauma, and I think your brain chemistry, Like, honestly,

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Speaker 3: since we do talk about mental health, mental wealth, whatever

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Speaker 3: you want to call it, like, we are chemically different

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Speaker 3: than other people because we needed that dopamine kick for

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Speaker 3: for so long. We needed we needed to push ourselves.

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Speaker 3: Do you think about how often I exercise an NFL player,

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Speaker 3: even in season where I didn't really consider it exercise.

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Speaker 3: You know, I'm on my feet ten hours a week,

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Speaker 3: not counting the game.

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Speaker 2: You know, you're and you're in sixty car accidents a day,

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Speaker 2: or when you used to be able to hit every day.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's like.

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Speaker 3: You got to get rid of those car accidents. But

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Speaker 3: you got to find something that pushes you that you know,

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Speaker 3: like and you got to do something physical so like

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Speaker 3: you got hey, professionally, give your head some time to

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Speaker 3: you know, like don't feel like you're under the gun.

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Speaker 3: But physically, mentally, and emotionally, you should attack retirement the

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Speaker 3: way you attack football. And that means like taking ownership

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Speaker 3: in your body, your diet, you know, the sleep you're getting.

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Speaker 3: It's taken me four or five years to find an

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Speaker 3: equil librum, and I'm still tweaking, you know, I'm still

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Speaker 3: like tweaking with little things in my in my health

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Speaker 3: or in my routine. And I got all these things

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Speaker 3: I want to do. It's a constant evolution. But if

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Speaker 3: you're not trying to evolve, you know, don't worry about destination.

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Speaker 3: You'll figure it out at some point. I haven't figured

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Speaker 3: it out yet, but like, if you're not walk in

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Speaker 3: that way, you're gonna get stuck and you're gonna feel like,

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Speaker 3: you know, what the fuck am I doing at this stage?

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Speaker 3: I mean, I've felt lost over the past couple years

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Speaker 3: at different times, and I was prepared.

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Speaker 2: Tell me where you're saying you were lost? Was it

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Speaker 2: mostly lost as far as Okay, I don't have that

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Speaker 2: daily structure, even though you're saying you did are you

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Speaker 2: new to put it in or were you lost because

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Speaker 2: you were still running on the hamster wheel.

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Speaker 3: Hampshire wheel, I think it was. I think it's hamster

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Speaker 3: wheel and that takes up all your time and you

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Speaker 3: can't work on yourself. You look up and you're like,

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Speaker 3: all right, I'm busting my ass to build this company,

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Speaker 3: and like you can justify it in all these ways. Hey,

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Speaker 3: it's gonna be good for my family, all this shit,

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Speaker 3: But like if I'm not seeing my kids as much,

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Speaker 3: like why did I retire right, you know? Or if

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Speaker 3: I'm even more stressed now, like my wife had to

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Speaker 3: talk to me a couple of times and been like,

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Speaker 3: you know, you're more stressed now than you were when

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Speaker 3: you played because of running a business. And you know,

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Speaker 3: like you have to have people around you to take

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Speaker 3: your temperature and and you know, come at you a

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Speaker 3: little bit and be honest with you. So you need

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Speaker 3: to surround yourself people that are going to tell you

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Speaker 3: if you're kind of falling by the wayside. So I think,

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Speaker 3: just you know, when I get focused on something, I

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Speaker 3: kind of obsess over it, and I got a little

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Speaker 3: too wrapped up and trying to build this company. I know,

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Speaker 3: anybody's built a company. That's the way. If you probably

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Speaker 3: talk to Pat McAfee or something, he'd probably say, fuck,

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Speaker 3: there was a minute there where, and that guy loves

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Speaker 3: to work, but I'm sure he had to take his

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Speaker 3: temperature at some point. And maybe it's happening now because

349
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Speaker 3: that guy's NonStop. But whoever you are, like, that'll get you.

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Speaker 3: I think also, like I'm just really hard on myself.

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Speaker 3: So I've always I think your career, whether you know

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Speaker 3: it or not, it's like a death. You kind of

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Speaker 3: mourn it in five stages, you know, and I don't

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Speaker 3: know if they're in order, you know, grief, finger, denial,

355
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Speaker 3: or whatever the fuck it is. But I went through

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Speaker 3: different stages with my career where there's like the bargaining.

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Speaker 3: There's like you try to rewrite chapters that you didn't

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Speaker 3: like in your head, like what could I have done differently?

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Speaker 3: What if I wasn't drafted here, bro, Like what if

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Speaker 3: I didn't have to deal with this at this difference? Well,

361
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Speaker 3: it's never going to change. And the thing I realize

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Speaker 3: is like for players that are still dwelling on shit

363
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Speaker 3: in the past is like nobody cares, dude, except you.

364
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Speaker 3: Like when you see me.

365
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Speaker 2: Big for you, but not for everybody else.

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Speaker 3: For everybody else's like, you know, when I see people,

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Speaker 3: I'm not like running through how their career went. You know,

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Speaker 3: there's some people you're starstruck by, you know. And I

369
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Speaker 3: had a great career. I had a lot of fun

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Speaker 3: and they got to win. And it's a perfect example

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Speaker 3: because I got friends that would be like, Dude, you

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Speaker 3: got to win two super Bowls, you played eleven years,

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Speaker 3: you had seventy sacks, You fucking did all this shit.

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Speaker 3: I didn't get do any of that. But it's all relative,

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Speaker 3: And I think that's why even like Hall of famers

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Speaker 3: can be hard on themselves, Like you know my dad, Yeah,

377
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,760
Speaker 3: like no doubt, guy's done everything. But we always talk

378
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Speaker 3: about deep talks at the end of on a Monday.

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Speaker 3: We're the same way where we're we could have three sacks,

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Speaker 3: but we're focused on the thing we didn't do.

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Speaker 2: So how do you teach yourself to have grace during this?

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Speaker 2: Like what are you doing to teach yourself to have

383
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Speaker 2: grace because that's the biggest thing. Again, you get caught

384
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Speaker 2: in the shamsur real Listen, I was the first minute

385
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Speaker 2: by minute breaking news guy in this country before there's

386
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Speaker 2: this NFL insider role. You know what, But when that

387
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,520
Speaker 2: internet thing first came out, I had two phones and

388
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Speaker 2: a BlackBerry and a fucking beeper. I think back there,

389
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 2: like it didn't stop right. It ruined every relationship I

390
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Speaker 2: ever had because it didn't stop, didn't stop, didn't stop,

391
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Speaker 2: didn't stop. And then I had to make a same

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Speaker 2: as you, like a concervative effort. Thank god. Fox said, Hey,

393
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Speaker 2: you're gonna die if you keep doing this. We just

394
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,800
Speaker 2: need to be great on Sundays. You're okay, Like you

395
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,680
Speaker 2: don't have to worry about this much anymore. Be a

396
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,720
Speaker 2: personality on this show, kick ass on Sundays, be better

397
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,119
Speaker 2: than everybody else. But that was hard for me to

398
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Speaker 2: shut it down. And now I still work on giving

399
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Speaker 2: myself grace because I don't do it the same way

400
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Speaker 2: I used to do it. How are you trying to

401
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,320
Speaker 2: give yourself grace? How are you learning? Where do you

402
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:20,960
Speaker 2: go to learn it?

403
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Speaker 3: Well, it's a fucked up catch twenty two, which is

404
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,960
Speaker 3: like a prerequisite of being great for a lot of

405
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:30,160
Speaker 3: people or accomplishing something is being their toughest critic, their

406
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Speaker 3: own toughest critic and listen I wouldn't have done it

407
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Speaker 3: any different. I'm glad I was the way I was,

408
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 3: because if I wasn't, I definitely would be working at

409
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Speaker 3: like Mencer's and charlottesvill or something, you know, enjoying my

410
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Speaker 3: dad's money or whatever. Like I had to have a

411
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,919
Speaker 3: little bit of a different you know, I had to

412
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Speaker 3: have a different standard for myself because the standard was

413
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,520
Speaker 3: so high, and the very thing that can make you

414
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Speaker 3: successful is the thing that can sink you in retirement

415
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Speaker 3: because it's a different game, dude, there's no gun to

416
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Speaker 3: your head. You know. What the gun is to your

417
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 3: head is like be a great dad, be a good husband,

418
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 3: be be a friend, you know, like fulfill things that

419
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 3: are important to you, like enjoy things like find hobbies

420
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Speaker 3: like this is the chapter of your life if you're

421
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:15,240
Speaker 3: financially secure, is like keep that ball rolling, feed your family.

422
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 3: But find some balance, dude. And there's no balance when

423
00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,479
Speaker 3: you're a football player. So I think, I think, how

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Speaker 3: are you.

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Speaker 2: Giving yourself grace? Like out because you're side You're right.

426
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Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna tell you I'm still figuring it out.

427
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Speaker 3: But because I'm the same way as a media member.

428
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 3: But I think that very thing that realization that like,

429
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,440
Speaker 3: once you realize you're even smaller than you thought you were,

430
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 3: it's like kind of like zooming out and you get

431
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 3: the planet, you have the solar system, you have the galaxy,

432
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,760
Speaker 3: and then there's like like a little spec That's the

433
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 3: way I think about things, like when I'm really when

434
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,840
Speaker 3: it's like, bro, this is so small, dude, I'm going

435
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,439
Speaker 3: to be I'm gonna be dead in forty fifty years.

436
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 3: Like it's just not it's not import You're gonna look

437
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 3: up and you spend your whole life being hard on

438
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 3: yourself and you're gonna waste it and nobody's gonna care

439
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 3: and there's not going to be a second chance at it.

440
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 3: So like you're the only person living in your reality

441
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:14,399
Speaker 3: between your ears, and like no one else cares. At

442
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,200
Speaker 3: night when you're ruminating over bullshit, nobody else is thinking

443
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,960
Speaker 3: about the play didn't make or the year you had

444
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:23,200
Speaker 3: when you got hurt or like whatever, Dude, no one

445
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 3: cares except for you. So you are not only wasting

446
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:30,720
Speaker 3: your time, you're also killing yourself, dude, because stress kills you.

447
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,919
Speaker 3: And and so I just look yeah, yeah, I just

448
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 3: look at things like I want to live a long time,

449
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,199
Speaker 3: and I want to be here for my family. And

450
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,160
Speaker 3: you know, we just had a daughter seven months ago,

451
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 3: and like all of a sudden, You're like, Okay, I

452
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:44,399
Speaker 3: got to take care of my health. I got to

453
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 3: take care of myself man, you know, like I'm thirty

454
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 3: eight years old, Like stress is part of it. And

455
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,960
Speaker 3: I think therapy, man, Like we've talked about this, but

456
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 3: I just had I just said enough was enough at

457
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 3: some point in retirement, and I just started. I've never

458
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,960
Speaker 3: had a problem with talking to somebody, but the person

459
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 3: that you trust, right, Like somebody that you can trust,

460
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 3: like that you hit it off with and you can trust.

461
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,640
Speaker 3: And and so for me, I've been seeing the same

462
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 3: therapists for maybe three years now.

463
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 2: They're coaching. For anybody out there who's listening to this

464
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,960
Speaker 2: view of therapists as a coach, like you go to

465
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 2: strength coach every single day, He's just start. These are

466
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 2: our feeling coaches, you know, like is there a heart,

467
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,720
Speaker 2: mind and soul coach? Don't because so many guys are

468
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 2: like I don't want to go to therapists. What if

469
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 2: they say something. I don't trust someone? How am I

470
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 2: going to find someone that one gets me? Crazy. How

471
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 2: am I gonna find someone? There's a million ways to

472
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,480
Speaker 2: find right and your heelp dot com and there's a

473
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 2: million things, but they're coaches. I I got something for

474
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,919
Speaker 2: you too, all right. This is something I do because

475
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:45,040
Speaker 2: we've got to train our souls. And what I started

476
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 2: doing is so now. I don't know if you meditate.

477
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 2: I meditate it now. In the morning, I'll basically put

478
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 2: on a song, right and for the first song, I

479
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:53,920
Speaker 2: just go over things I'm grateful for, and it could

480
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 2: be things yesterday, my whole life, whatever, I've got it

481
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 2: now down where Rosie and I write a gratitude list

482
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 2: of morning ten things were grateful for the day before,

483
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 2: or we do it at night ten things were grateful

484
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 2: for that day. So we go to sleep with some gratitude.

485
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 2: And it's hard at first because we don't give ourselves

486
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 2: like grace. So you got to teach yourself. And it

487
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 2: could be something like I'm grateful for Sammy, I'm grateful

488
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 2: for God. I'm grateful for the sun. I'm grateful for

489
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,200
Speaker 2: a fucking pair of shoes. Whatever it is that made

490
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 2: you happy that day, you put it. But the next song,

491
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 2: and this is the key. The next song, I meditate

492
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,119
Speaker 2: on things I'm proud of that I've done, so I

493
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 2: try and counteract all those things you're talking about, why

494
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 2: didn't I do this right? Why didn't I do that right?

495
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 2: Or you did this wrong, or you missed this play,

496
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 2: or you missed this jay, or you missed out or

497
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,120
Speaker 2: you missed that. So now it's a song of things

498
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 2: I'm proud of. And I had to train myself how

499
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 2: to be proud of myself, and man, Chris, it's made

500
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 2: such a huge difference in that grace that I'm talking about.

501
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 3: And I could try that, but I got to tell you,

502
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 3: I'm not really proud of much.

503
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,919
Speaker 2: Well, that's what you have to but you need to

504
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 2: be well the man of the year, all the wills

505
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 2: that you've built out, Yeah, you'll get that.

506
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,719
Speaker 3: That's what you've acquired.

507
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 2: What this Okay, the time you've put in, the sacrifice

508
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 2: you've made, That's what I'm saying. You got to learn

509
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,679
Speaker 2: how to be proud of yourself or you don't have

510
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 2: any equity to balance the fucking scale.

511
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 4: The scale is always going to be in the way

512
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,440
Speaker 4: that you said, you know what, I'm proud of honestly,

513
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 4: Like the football thing's different because you know, I come

514
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 4: from a different background than most guys, and most guys

515
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 4: have trouble with this thing.

516
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 3: I mean, imagine if you go home and what you

517
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 3: just did is an extraordinary at all, which I don't need.

518
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 3: I don't need that, you know, Like, but it's it's

519
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 3: the framing. The context with with which I went out

520
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 3: and embarked on my life journey is totally different than

521
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:46,439
Speaker 3: than most people. You know, Like, whatever you do is

522
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 3: going to be compared to something that quite frankly, everybody

523
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 3: who's wagging the finger at you like you didn't do that,

524
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:55,360
Speaker 3: they didn't do it either, right right the sideline motherfucker,

525
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 3: you know. And so so I don't need to be

526
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 3: proud of it. I am proud of myself.

527
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 2: But no, no, no, no here but here.

528
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 3: But I'll tell you what I'm proud of. I'll tell

529
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,120
Speaker 3: you what I'm proud of. Proud of being a great teammate,

530
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 3: proud proud of playing hurt, proud of you know. But

531
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 3: I don't get proud of accomplishments. You know what I'm saying,

532
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 3: because you need to.

533
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:14,160
Speaker 2: But but here's the thing.

534
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 3: This is proud of being a dad.

535
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 2: Okay, so every day but none of that, Chris, is

536
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 2: where I want you to dive in. Okay. So look

537
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,159
Speaker 2: when I first did this gratitude list, I was out

538
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 2: in Thailand. I'm my little yo fucking mental health journey,

539
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 2: my mom and body spirit journey. And these monks are

540
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 2: telling me that the price did you in one bite.

541
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 2: I was in the fucking jungle, out of water. I

542
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: was training in the jungle. Man.

543
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,880
Speaker 3: It was the greatest thing ever.

544
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 2: And but these monks are like I was dealing with

545
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,200
Speaker 2: these time monks. They were like, Hey, we need you

546
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 2: write a hundred things You're grateful for them? Like a

547
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 2: hundred things I'm grateful for? What do you just fucking

548
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,679
Speaker 2: kidd me? And I was the same way, and they

549
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 2: had to teach me. And like I said, they're like,

550
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,800
Speaker 2: who do you like mundane little things? Like I put

551
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 2: that down. So same thing with the pride thing, right,

552
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, I'm not proud of this, Chris, you

553
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 2: gotta go back. I can look at some plays that

554
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 2: did fucking energize you, like, I'm proud of this. I

555
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 2: want supposed to win on that day and I did that,

556
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,480
Speaker 2: So put that in the back, right, But it could

557
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 2: be days. Hey, I'm proud of I got one of

558
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 2: my kids to do this. Hey, I'm proud of one

559
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 2: day I had a conversation with my friend that did this. Hey,

560
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 2: I'm proud of this fucking set I did whatever it was. Hey,

561
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 2: I'm proud that I was able to have this long

562
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 2: career or I could buy this thing that I like.

563
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:27,879
Speaker 2: So I'm saying you got to train yourself instead of

564
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 2: saying because you're already poo pooing yourself. So instead of no, I'm.

565
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 3: Not poo pooing myself for something to draw pride, like

566
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,639
Speaker 3: self pride, Like there are things I'm proud of, Like

567
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 3: I'm proud of being a great dad, I'm proud of

568
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 3: being a great friend. Like my boys will tell you,

569
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 3: I don't change. I'm the same fucking guy. I'm proud

570
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 3: of my work ethic, I'm proud of what we build

571
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 3: a green light, I'm hopefully proud of the boss I am.

572
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 3: But with football, there's just something about it. You know,

573
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 3: it doesn't have to be football, just yeah, okay in

574
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 3: the morning. Yeah yeah, it's just.

575
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 2: Things you're fucking proud of. Because we're so used to

576
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 2: beating ourselves up. So if you start counterbalancing it and

577
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 2: start telling those fucking bad roommates, you know, having a

578
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 2: good room ways, say hey, fuck that we're in this town. Now,

579
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 2: we're fighting back here. Now, ain't just you guys talking

580
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,680
Speaker 2: in this head. Now it helps you out tremendously. It's work,

581
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 2: but you're talking about, Hey, how do we find grace?

582
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 2: This is a way everybody could find grace, but it's work,

583
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 2: so attack it that way.

584
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try, and like, you know,

585
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,439
Speaker 3: I just also say I don't know when it comes

586
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 3: to like retirement. One of the biggest breakthroughs for me

587
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 3: we talked about this recently, was like actually formally getting

588
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 3: diagnosed with ADHD, right, you know, like that was a

589
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,919
Speaker 3: big ah. And when we talked about therapy earlier, I

590
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 3: totally wish I had gone to see a sports cyc

591
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 3: while I played, because you know, like as good as

592
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,119
Speaker 3: I was, I would have been better if I had,

593
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 3: you know, Like I was talking to a teammate recently

594
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,200
Speaker 3: about it was Lane. Okay, Lane's one of my best buddies,

595
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 3: and he's been real open with me about the mental

596
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 3: health stuff before he kind of came out with it

597
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 3: and we we have like tough conversations and shit, and

598
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 3: then like this year, Lane Johnson right from me, Johnson, Yeah,

599
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,640
Speaker 3: Men of the Year nominee, And to me, all those

600
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 3: guys are winners, whether they win or not. But I

601
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 3: think one of the coolest things for me is like

602
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 3: a friendship like that where you know, I was coming

603
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 3: into Philly do inside the NFL this year. So every

604
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 3: Monday night I'd ride up in suv and sometimes I

605
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 3: leave a little earlier to go sit at Lane's house

606
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 3: and we'd watch Monday night football or something and just

607
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 3: kick it like we were still teammates, which is great

608
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 3: and of itself. But we sat on the back porch

609
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 3: and one night, you know, I had just recently talked

610
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 3: to my therapists about like formally making you know, attacking

611
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 3: the ADHD thing, and just to talk to somebody who

612
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 3: I identify as like me that talk me through you know, Hey,

613
00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,439
Speaker 3: this is what this I've heard about this drug, Like

614
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 3: maybe you could try this, this is a practice you

615
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 3: could like you can engage in, you know, just to

616
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 3: even because there's some people that you talk to, you

617
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 3: like that person doesn't understand me, you know, And I

618
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 3: think that's the hardest thing, whether the person does or not,

619
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:14,199
Speaker 3: whether it's fair or not. Lane, for instance, was somebody that,

620
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 3: like I wish I hadn't in my locker room when

621
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,439
Speaker 3: I played for most of my career, because it's not

622
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 3: that we didn't have deep conversations in that fucked up

623
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 3: d line room in Saint Louis, but we didn't know

624
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,360
Speaker 3: how to frame them.

625
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 2: And Lane had to be vulnerable back then.

626
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,199
Speaker 3: Well, no, we knew how to be vulnerable, but we

627
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 3: didn't know how to frame whatever we were feeling. In context.

628
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 3: It was nobody that had gone out seeking solutions or

629
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 3: talking about mental health issues like formerly it was more like,

630
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 3: hey man, I'm hurting right now, I'm sad, my life's

631
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 3: fucked up, you know. I just somebody died back home,

632
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 3: or like we were tired. Everybody would talk about whatever. Bro,

633
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 3: I've had deep conversations, but a guided deep conversation with

634
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 3: somebody who sought solutions. And I think with the thing

635
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 3: that Lane's doing, that's so great is there are going

636
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 3: to be more guys like that in the locker room.

637
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 3: And he changed my life having that conversation. Now, the

638
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 3: first medication I tried hasn't worked out, but what it is.

639
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 2: I told you about them one of the Super Bowl Calbury.

640
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 3: Yeah. And you know what, I gotta be honest with you.

641
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 3: I stopped the adderall bro good and I feel great,

642
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 3: And honestly, I feel better than I felt when I started,

643
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 3: because when I identified what the problem was, it was

644
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 3: illuminating to me. All the things that I've dealt with

645
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 3: for so many years. You know, they're not debilitating in

646
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 3: a sense of like I can't do my job or

647
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 3: do this job, but there are things that are like

648
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 3: what the fuck is wrong with me? And now that

649
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 3: you know what you deal with, you can read, you

650
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 3: can strategize, like there's all types of things that I

651
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 3: wasn't doing that are very controllable that can improve my condition.

652
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 2: Right.

653
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 3: But had I not had conversations Lane to encourage me

654
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 3: to go down that path formally, then I can't attack

655
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 3: the problem right, and so we might be vulnerable. We

656
00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 3: might be like, yeah, man, I'm at the bar, spilling

657
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 3: my guts my buddy or whatever. Year four or after

658
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 3: a game. It doesn't matter if you're not really working

659
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 3: actively to solve the problems and you don't know what

660
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 3: the problems are. And I think that's why therapy is important,

661
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 3: you know. I think that's really important. And anybody says like, oh,

662
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 3: I don't know who I can trust, like YadA, YadA, YadA.

663
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 3: Like bro, all right, you're gonna watch twenty years go by,

664
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 3: and you're gonna say there was a you in there

665
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 3: that was waiting to be out and live and in

666
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 3: peace or some improvement, you know, and your the way

667
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 3: you feel, and you're gonna you're gonna lose that time

668
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 3: Like that for me is what changes watching my kids

669
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 3: grow up and I'm like, hey, don't I want to

670
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 3: be as good as I can be upstairs? Like don't

671
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 3: I want to show up with the with the right

672
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 3: equipment on? And that to me was that window with

673
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 3: my kids where you only get it once. I watched

674
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 3: my kids grow up from like three to now whaling seven,

675
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 3: and it was it fucked me up. I was like, bro,

676
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 3: you better get your shit in order, like sooner than later,

677
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 3: because getting in order at sixty, like I want to

678
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 3: get in order right now so I can be present

679
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 3: and be my best self for these guys and now

680
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:10,959
Speaker 3: guys and gals.

681
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 2: And again I want you to offset it now with

682
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 2: saying oh man, I missed this with Whalen. But now

683
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 2: on while you start every morning, go I'm proud of

684
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 2: this I did with Whalen. Yeah, I mean that's what

685
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 2: I'm saying that we got to start working on that,

686
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 2: that other tool that's out there. I just want to

687
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 2: point on out. You know, you and I have this

688
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 2: ADHD talk like. I was the first one of the

689
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 2: first adults, not the first diagnosed with a built add

690
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 2: on the East coast of America. Princeton University. I got

691
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 2: taken into their their program in nineteen eighty nine. So

692
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 2: I went through riddle In and then they put me

693
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 2: on Naranton to offset the values of riddle In because

694
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 2: the peaks and valleys are bad. But yeah, I built

695
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 2: my brain chemistry over the years, and then I stopped that,

696
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 2: and then adderall came out, and then you know, I

697
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,959
Speaker 2: started getting this the brand name instead of the generic,

698
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 2: instead of the brand in. And then finally a doctor

699
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 2: said to me, or somebody said to me, I said,

700
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 2: why am I so fucking madic? What's going on? Well,

701
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 2: you know, when you get generic, they're not the same.

702
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 2: All of them are different. They're all gonna act differently.

703
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, what do you mean it's not just addroll.

704
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 2: It's just mixed differently. So I was like, holy fuck,

705
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 2: so I'm putting this poison into my BIY. That's getting

706
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 2: my mind so by manic beyond manic like Skyfall and

707
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 2: I had Look, I lived with Lane for five months.

708
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 2: He wasn't out at that point, right, he saw me

709
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 2: go through shit. He didn't say that. At least I had

710
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 2: your dad who said to me, hey, hey, hey, the

711
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 2: sky's not faull to it. What the fuck is going on?

712
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 2: What is happening with you? That's why I love this.

713
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 2: You know the drug Calberry that's a non stimulant. It's

714
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 2: helped me the stimulant part and getting the generic forms

715
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 2: of things. So I just want you to be careful.

716
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 2: All that is. It was a almost a life ender

717
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 2: for me, I would say, by taking some of those

718
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 2: generics where I would just act in a way like

719
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 2: this is not you. What is going on with you?

720
00:32:55,840 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 2: What is happening? I beat up myself during that time.

721
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 3: You're trying to you're trying to find out who the

722
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 3: real you is. But in the process, like the scary

723
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 3: part about just taking different drugs is like it can

724
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 3: fuck you up and I'm not saying like people shouldn't

725
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 3: try it, Like I'm not a doctor. But what I

726
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 3: am saying is, but.

727
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 2: Every but.

728
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 3: What you're doing, what I'm talking about, and what you're

729
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 3: talking about, I really do believe there's a lot of

730
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 3: people and I'm not trying to slight some people. Here's

731
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 3: what I am proud of, Jay, is that I will

732
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 3: fight to improve. I will fight like how to improve,

733
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 3: whether it was on the football field or in the

734
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 3: media or at my job. But also I think the

735
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 3: most important place to fight for improvement is in your head.

736
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 3: And like if guys aren't willing to because of not

737
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 3: wanting to be vulnerable, or like they're afraid to talk

738
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 3: to a therapist, or like you are leaving money on

739
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 3: the table. And I'm saying that. I'm not saying that

740
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 3: like from a business sense, like in your life, you

741
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 3: are leaving money on the table if you're not looking

742
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 3: to actively improve. But you've got to get a little muddy,

743
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 3: you got to get a little dirty, Like there's going

744
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 3: to be some trial and error, you know. Like it's

745
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 3: like I'm quitting so little thing. I was hammering these

746
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 3: zins like these nicotine man like like way too much. Okay,

747
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 3: you know, I dip my whole life basically, and I

748
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,320
Speaker 3: was like, well, I got to stop that because I

749
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 3: don't want to like I don't want to die, like

750
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 3: like I get kids now, you know, it's like, hey,

751
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 3: you know what, why'd you get mouth cancer? So I

752
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 3: switched to zin and then next thing, you know, I'm

753
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 3: like a nicotine addict. So right now I'm like trying

754
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 3: to cut down and you're doing all the trial and error, Like, hey,

755
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,839
Speaker 3: is this is this going to improve how I feel

756
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 3: day to day? Like it might be you know, you

757
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 3: might not be drinking enough water. It might not you know,

758
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 3: like there's all these obvious things that maybe are right

759
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 3: under your nose that like, but you just got to

760
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 3: be willing to to cut certain things out, add certain

761
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 3: things and like be honest with yourself. And like like

762
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 3: you said, I'm sure you take a journal or a diary,

763
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 3: but I try, like hell, even with my ADHD brain,

764
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 3: to keep a record of what I'm trying to do

765
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 3: to improve my life and see if it actually worked.

766
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 3: And so I just think it's like it's trial and error, man,

767
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 3: whether it's drugs or health or diet or sleep or

768
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 3: like it's all it's the biggest puzzle. Man, it's the

769
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 3: hardest thing. You got to really try to improve at it.

770
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 2: I love that, like always trying and improve it. I

771
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 2: think a lot of people forget it. That's that's always

772
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 2: gotta be the eye on the prost. And then again,

773
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,279
Speaker 2: give yourself grace. Hey I might have only done a

774
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 2: little today, or hey I might like every time someone

775
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 2: leaves them breakable, I tell her crew compliment that person

776
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 2: whatever the fuck they did, even if they think they

777
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 2: had a shitty day. Hey, you fought through a shitty day.

778
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 2: That's something to be proud of, real, real quick. You're

779
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:38,880
Speaker 2: also in the ADHD part when when I first got

780
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 2: diagnosed again, they tell me I have a learning disability.

781
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 2: Being in a Jersey shore with a learning disability ain't

782
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 2: fucking great. But I flipped the script on it. I

783
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 2: looked at this and not on a learning disability. I

784
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,839
Speaker 2: just don't learn the way y'all teach, right, right? So

785
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 2: where then I had to look at it and take

786
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 2: a step further. Where does my ADHD give me power?

787
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 2: Where is it my superpower? And I think the same

788
00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:04,760
Speaker 2: for you also, it's something to be proud of, is Yeah,

789
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:06,439
Speaker 2: I may not be able to sit there and listen

790
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:09,280
Speaker 2: to a fucking lecture for three minutes or three hours.

791
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 2: I could do six things at once. That allows us

792
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 2: to multitest, allows us to have six different things we're

793
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 2: going after. Allowed you to do all these different things

794
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 2: to become the Walter Payton Man of the Year, and

795
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,879
Speaker 2: so your ADHD ended up helping you and.

796
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 3: Being y Yeah in some ways. Yeah, No, I agree,

797
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 3: And that's why.

798
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 2: I feel it instead of the shame of it.

799
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, look at look at things from a positive standpoint,

800
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 3: Like I know, I'm probably better as a podcaster for

801
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 3: having it in some ways, you know. But it's about

802
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 3: identifying the areas where it hurts you and trying to

803
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:41,280
Speaker 3: make little improvements or strategize to cover those weaknesses.

804
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,360
Speaker 2: Up right, last two questions, I'd never talked to you

805
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 2: about this. I was obviously doing the game. Give me

806
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 2: something about the twenty eight to three, A game that

807
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,879
Speaker 2: we don't know that you saw out there, that you've

808
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 2: never said or just the rest of us don't know about.

809
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's funny because I've had to talk at length

810
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 3: about it.

811
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 2: What I'm talking about for people don't know.

812
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:00,879
Speaker 3: I mean definitely, I mean I was.

813
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 2: Down twenty eight to three to the Falcons in the

814
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 2: Super Bowl and his Patriots and Tom Brady come all

815
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 2: the way back and went go ahead.

816
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 3: I was going to retire for sure. I mean, like,

817
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 3: you know, like I think I might have told you

818
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 3: that before, but I said this. It was pretty open

819
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,120
Speaker 3: about that game. It's funny, like Dad, he'll tell you

820
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,800
Speaker 3: this all the time. He came down to Atlanta and

821
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 3: New England for me and free agency, and he had

822
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 3: said he had nudged me towards the Patriots, which yeah,

823
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 3: it was true, but sorry, Dad, like I wouldn't going

824
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 3: to Atlanta that Dan Quinn wanted me to play.

825
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 2: I was trying to nudg you to Dan Quinn.

826
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I love Dan. I love Dan, dude, but

827
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 3: he wanted me. I was like, I was like, I

828
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 3: went down there to Flowery Branch, sat in traffic for

829
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 3: a very long time, and then I was like, you know,

830
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 3: I met with Dan and Dan was like, hey, we

831
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:47,880
Speaker 3: want you to be like our Michael Bennett, and I'm like,

832
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 3: well that's a compliment and everything. But he played inside

833
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 3: a lot, so you know, I'm gonna go up to

834
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,120
Speaker 3: New England and play outside backer. We'll guess what ended

835
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 3: up happening. You end up playing inside free technique. Even Okay,

836
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 3: at least Dan was going to have me in a

837
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 3: fucking four eye. But the whole thing was, you know,

838
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 3: like at the half of that game, I just that

839
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 3: was one of the lowest points in my life because

840
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 3: not only was it like we're about to lose a

841
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 3: Super Bowl twenty eight three like everybody, but there were

842
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 3: a couple guys in that situation on every team. That's

843
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 3: a very unique deal where it's like this could be

844
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,800
Speaker 3: it for you. Maybe you spent eight years in Saint

845
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,400
Speaker 3: Louis and one in fifteen two and fourteen all that shit.

846
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 3: Like I was done, bro, I was like, there's no

847
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 3: way I'm going to keep doing this bullshit in another

848
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,839
Speaker 3: thirty minutes. Like when this game's over, I'm done. And

849
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 3: just when you think about the way your life turns out,

850
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 3: that's why you just got to have gratitude. You say

851
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:41,279
Speaker 3: gratitude and all, like, there's two totally different realities that

852
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,280
Speaker 3: I live in. If if Kyle Shanahan runs the ball

853
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 3: versus if he doesn't. If Dante had retired, I mean

854
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 3: I'd be retired and miserable. Wow, I don't know, maybe

855
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 3: I'd to figure out a way to overcome it, but

856
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,560
Speaker 3: the challenges would be totally different. I'd never I'd never

857
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 3: had those two years in Philly, which for me, like

858
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,200
Speaker 3: the first super Bowl was like weight off my chest.

859
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 3: The second one was like I didn't cry after the

860
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 3: first one. The second one, I cried like a baby.

861
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 3: It was like something happened where it was like it's

862
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 3: okay now, you know, like you can go. And of

863
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 3: course I was like, I went to it one more year,

864
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 3: You're about to make me cry, you know, But it

865
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,360
Speaker 3: was it was like I'll never forget being on the field,

866
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 3: and you know, you got to break through a lot

867
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 3: of bullshit to be satisfied in the NFL, right, like

868
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 3: evidenced by what I just told you, Like New England

869
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 3: was great, but it wasn't enough for me obviously. But

870
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 3: the release after that Philly super Bowl, I don't know

871
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 3: what it was, man, But I never get that. I

872
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 3: never get that that feeling. My life is so much different.

873
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 3: You think I would have had a podcast. I would

874
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,280
Speaker 3: have wanted to shut the fuck up and disappear forever

875
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 3: after twenty eight to three, if that's possible. So I

876
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 3: just it was such a big deal. The funny story

877
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 3: was before the game and we almost cursed it. Me

878
00:39:56,160 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 3: and Alan Branch if you remember him, big Yep. We

879
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 3: went to like the place was a zoo, like all

880
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 3: around the hotel there's a CBS or Walgreens, like a

881
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 3: block away in Houston, like day of the game, in

882
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 3: our Patriots sweatsuits. We went in there and we got

883
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 3: like a bunch of bottles of Andre and slipped them

884
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:14,759
Speaker 3: in our bag because we were like, we're going to

885
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,440
Speaker 3: do the thing that fucking Mahomes and them did this

886
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,760
Speaker 3: year with the baseball celebration. So we had a bunch

887
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 3: of Andre in our bags. I just cannot imagine how

888
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 3: stupid we would have felt had we lost that game.

889
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:30,360
Speaker 3: After the Champa sitting there, yeah, just like clinking around

890
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 3: on the bus and the way up we got back

891
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 3: there after the game. Evidently Andre doesn't fucking shoot out

892
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 3: like like Corbel or whatever. Everybody's waiting for us to

893
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 3: pop this champagne and it just looks like a like

894
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,839
Speaker 3: a bad volcano, and you know, just like that whole

895
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 3: week was crazy, the stories behind the scenes. If you

896
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 3: asked every guy in the roster, you'd hear so much

897
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 3: cool shit, Like the whole team was sick the year

898
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 3: we played the Patriots, Like we were standing the Mall

899
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,760
Speaker 3: of America. It was zero degrees out. Everybody's got ivy

900
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 3: backs like Friday night, you know, like the team's sick.

901
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 3: There's just so much going on. Funny story the Philly

902
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,280
Speaker 3: year when we were doing the walkthrough in the stadium.

903
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 3: You know, Saturday, you go do the walk through the stadium,

904
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 3: do pictures? Your family comes in. Well, in the walkthrough portion,

905
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,400
Speaker 3: we were running fake plays that we don't even have

906
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,880
Speaker 3: in the playbook because it was so nervous about Bill

907
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 3: or the Patriots, like Spygate two, they have somebody up

908
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,760
Speaker 3: in the luxury box. So there's so many untold stories

909
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 3: from Super Bowl weeks. Man, it's just such an experience.

910
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 2: Fucking incredible. All right, last question, I ask every one

911
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 2: of my guesses, give me an unbreakable moment. Give me

912
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 2: the moment that should have broken you anywhere in life,

913
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 2: could have but didn't, and as a result, you came

914
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 2: out of the other side stronger forever.

915
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 3: Probably the end of my Saint Louis deal. You know,

916
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 3: I had to climb a pretty big hill. Not as

917
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 3: a draft pick. I was a high draft pick. But

918
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 3: just like from a standpoint, a bad team, a lot

919
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 3: of expectations. You know, if you google my name my

920
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 3: rookie year, it would have been like Chris Long bust,

921
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 3: you know, and really through the first half of my

922
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,359
Speaker 3: second year because I couldn't get it going. But then

923
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,280
Speaker 3: the second half of my second year just started rolling.

924
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,480
Speaker 3: And then you know, like had forty over four years

925
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,440
Speaker 3: and I was one of the guys. But then then

926
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:19,840
Speaker 3: got hurt, you know, and tried to play hurt, you know,

927
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 3: played through a high ankle, shot it up all year,

928
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:26,320
Speaker 3: contract year, had thirteen, got paid, things were going well.

929
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 3: Broke my did something to my ankle, had surgery, decided

930
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 3: to come back. Looked awful, like awful, embarrassing. If I

931
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 3: look back at I wish I'd never played them. The

932
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 3: very next year came back, I felt like everybody thought

933
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 3: I was on the way out pretty much, and second

934
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 3: game broke my leg. So two years in a royard

935
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 3: and I'll never forget getting cut by the Rams and

936
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 3: like the last two years, like the team moves, you know,

937
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 3: I can remember the last night at the Dome. It

938
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 3: was the weirdest thing in the world. You're like I'm

939
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 3: getting cut in a couple of weeks. I've been here

940
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 3: eight years. I'm never gonna win, you know, I'm gonna

941
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 3: leave an embarrassment. I came in, you know, my first year,

942
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 3: I'm a bus my eighth year, I'm always hurt, you know.

943
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 3: And I thought my career was over at that point too.

944
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 3: And funny I talk about the Pats game and thinking

945
00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:19,400
Speaker 3: I was done. But I owe a lot to Bill,

946
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,799
Speaker 3: to Bill Belichick for giving me a shot, because I

947
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 3: did not want to go play for any old team

948
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 3: in twenty sixteen. I wanted to win, you know, like

949
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 3: otherwise I wouldn't have kept playing.

950
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 2: And a place to build good memories.

951
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, like yeah, see what that's like. Yeah, And so

952
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 3: I'll never forget. We just had our first son whaling,

953
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 3: and I'm in the hospital. I'm kind of feeling sorry

954
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,959
Speaker 3: for myself, even though the babies here, I'm just still

955
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 3: just dwelling on all this shit. I go to Harris

956
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,239
Speaker 3: here to grab a six pack or whatever, and my

957
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 3: phone rings, and I'm like, fuck, I better pick it up.

958
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:53,920
Speaker 3: And I like go to the front of the aisle

959
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 3: where the service is decent, and it's like gross. Bill

960
00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 3: Belichick you know, and his voice and I'm like, whoa, whoa,

961
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 3: and I'll just never forget, Like just the call he

962
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 3: took a guy who was like really downtrod and probably

963
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 3: ready to quit, and I was like, I have no

964
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 3: information on what it's going to be up there, but

965
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:18,799
Speaker 3: I'm ready to go, you know. And had he not

966
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 3: called and he said on the phone, he was like, hey, man,

967
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 3: you're a hell of a player. I don't know what

968
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 3: we're gonna do with you, Like, I don't know where

969
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,879
Speaker 3: you're gonna fit, but I'm gonna find a fit. And

970
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 3: that leap of faith on my end and the leap

971
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,279
Speaker 3: of faith on his end, which he takes them all

972
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 3: the time. This is been't a big deal for him,

973
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 3: but it was the biggest deal in the world for me.

974
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 3: And if it weren't for that, I probably would have broke.

975
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 3: So some of it's me pushing through. We had a

976
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 3: picture in our d line room. Mike Waffle was our

977
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 3: d line coach, who was the coach for the Giants,

978
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:53,399
Speaker 3: Old marine, fucking intense cat. But we had this great room.

979
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 3: Aaron Donald, Me, Robert Quinn, you know, like William Hayes,

980
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 3: Nick Fairley, Kenna Lank for like all first rounders, but

981
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 3: we never had success as a team. And we had

982
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 3: this picture on the wall, and I think this is

983
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,680
Speaker 3: true in life and it's true in football. There's this

984
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 3: diagram of these two guys with pickaxes and they're like

985
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 3: diamond mining. I'm pretty sure you've seen this. And one

986
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 3: of the guys is walking right to left, back towards

987
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 3: the entrance to the cave with his pickaxe over his shoulder,

988
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 3: and he's dejected sweating. On the other side of that

989
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:29,919
Speaker 3: wall to the right where he's walking away from, there's

990
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 3: a huge diamond like six inches through that wall, and

991
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 3: there's another dude on the bottom and he's just hammering away,

992
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 3: and it's just it's a very simple thing, but so

993
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:43,319
Speaker 3: many people give up before they get to realize what

994
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 3: they've been working for this whole time. And for me,

995
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:50,360
Speaker 3: that was a very clean incident that illustrates just that

996
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:52,640
Speaker 3: is like I was this close to saying, hey, fuck this,

997
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 3: and who knows what I'm doing right now, But my

998
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,319
Speaker 3: life is a lot better for having just just wake

999
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 3: up one more day, you know, just just put your

1000
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 3: shoes on one more day. Just keep fucking walking, dude,

1001
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 3: you know it doesn't have to be a sprint, but

1002
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:08,879
Speaker 3: just walk. And if you keep walking, eventually you get

1003
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 3: a break. And and that was for me, Bill calling

1004
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 3: me in a haristeater.

1005
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 2: I love that, dude. That is great, dude, You're a

1006
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:17,720
Speaker 2: lot of our lives are better because of you magic.

1007
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 3: You know. I appreciate you.

1008
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 2: Start tomorrow doing the pride thing.

1009
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 3: Right you start, I'll do it. I'll do it perfect.

1010
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:25,920
Speaker 2: Well, we'll be battle buddies. We'll check in. Dude. I

1011
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 2: love you, I appreciate you. I'm fucking proud of you.

1012
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 3: Man.

1013
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 2: Yeah and yeah, let's and again like this is the

1014
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,799
Speaker 2: best thing we got. People like this too. Where were

1015
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:37,320
Speaker 2: you and I could lean into each other throw ideas

1016
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 2: at each other. I've been through it now for a

1017
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,799
Speaker 2: long time. Man. So you got questions, call my answer

1018
00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 2: up and go, hey, man, if you try this, if

1019
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 2: you've done that, we've done that. I'll bounce it off

1020
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 2: of YouTube.

1021
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 3: All right, you got it, brother, Good to see you.

1022
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 2: I love you, buddy.

1023
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 3: Chris Locke