1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: All right, guys, time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And 2 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:10,559 Speaker 1: if you need advice on relationships, on sex, on work, parenting, dating, 3 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,959 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 5 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,120 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're 6 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now. All right, 7 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,279 Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen, in his time for the Strawberry Letter 8 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: with my great friend Shirley Strawberry. Thank you, my good 9 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: friend junior. Subject does he still have feelings for her? 10 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen, Shirley, My husband and I have been together 11 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:41,279 Speaker 1: for almost twenty years. When we first started dating, there 12 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,519 Speaker 1: was a female friend quote unquote that was in his 13 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,360 Speaker 1: circle of friends. I don't think. I didn't think anything 14 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,919 Speaker 1: of it for a while, but there were red flags 15 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: that kept just popping up, and there was a certain 16 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: vibe that I kept picking up whenever they were in 17 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: the same space. Eventually, I asked him if they had 18 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: ever had any type of intimate relationship, and he denied 19 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 1: any dealings with her. He said they've always been just friends. 20 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: Years of the same type of vibes or energy between 21 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,959 Speaker 1: them made me ask again if anything ever went down 22 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: between them, and again he denied it. I know my husband, 23 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 1: and I could sense he was lying. I contacted a 24 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,160 Speaker 1: long time mutual friend of ours and asked him, in 25 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: a roundabout way, how well my husband knew this woman. 26 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: He connected a lot of dots from me without even 27 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: knowing he was spilling the tea. He said that my 28 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: husband and this woman had a sexual relationship first and 29 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: then tried to be in a monogamous relationship, but that 30 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: didn't work out, so they just became the best of friends. 31 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: I confronted my husband, but of course he stuck to 32 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: his lie and said I was being paranoid. I couldn't 33 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: tell him. I knew for a fact that he slept 34 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: with her. And the thing that bothers me the most 35 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:02,440 Speaker 1: is that even today, when she's around, he's constantly scanning 36 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: the room to see where she is. I've never been 37 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: paranoid a day in my life, and I know what 38 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,079 Speaker 1: I see and what my intuition is telling me. Does 39 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 1: he still have feelings for her? Is he still messing 40 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: with her? If they are messing around, can I beat 41 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 1: her tale for smiling in my face while stabbing me 42 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 1: in the back, Please? Help. Well, the answer to all 43 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: of your questions is probably yes. You know, it's been 44 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: twenty years and they used to mess around. He might 45 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: still have some feelings for her. One thing is for sure, 46 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: you're never going to get the truth from your husband. 47 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,639 Speaker 1: He's gonna take whatever he did to the grave. He's 48 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,839 Speaker 1: not answering you. And thank you. I got to say 49 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 1: thank you for paying attention to the red flags because 50 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: so many of us ignore the warning signs. You asked 51 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 1: him a few times about her, he just sticks to 52 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 1: that same lie. He's denying it. Nope, nope, nope. But 53 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 1: your intuition and a friend told you something different. So 54 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 1: at least now your feelings are validated. You feel like 55 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 1: there was something between them, They did something. As far 56 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: as what happened twenty years ago, that was before you. 57 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: You gotta let that go. Okay, you gotta let that go. 58 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 1: But if they're still going at it now, that's a 59 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: whole different situation. And here's a question. I mean, I 60 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: have this question. How is it that she's still around 61 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,959 Speaker 1: after twenty years and you've suspected this all this time? 62 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: Why are they still friends? Why? You know, since you're 63 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 1: asking a lot of questions, I have questions for you. 64 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 1: Why do you guys go where she is? You know, 65 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: why haven't you guys cut her off? If you think 66 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: all of this, Because if his eyes are still following 67 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: her around, yes, he has some kind of feelings for her, 68 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: and it sounds like he's acting on that feelings and 69 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 1: that's what you're feeling. So that's what you need to 70 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 1: deal with. Not twenty years ago, but what's going on 71 00:03:52,280 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: right now. Steve, Ah disagree this entire letter. I don't 72 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 1: know where you coming from, Sherley, with this mess you 73 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: said into you know, come on, I knew you were 74 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 1: with the husband and his life. What life? Come on? 75 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,839 Speaker 1: Come on, let's go through this letter step by step 76 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: and see what we have. My husband, I've been together 77 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: twenty years. First started dating. That was a female friend 78 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: that was in his circle of friends. I didn't think 79 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 1: anything of it for a while, but there were red 80 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: flags that kept popping up. Okay, let's talk about these 81 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: red flags. That was a certain vibe I kept picking 82 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: up on, whether on on whenever they were in the 83 00:04:54,920 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: same space. What vibe? Eventually I asked ask him if 84 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: they had ever had any type of intimated relationship, and 85 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 1: he denied any dealers with her. That could be true. 86 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 1: I'm just looking at the possibilities that could be true, 87 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:18,360 Speaker 1: he said, They've always been just friends. Years of the 88 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 1: same type of vibes of energy between them made me 89 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 1: ask again. Years of the same vibe made you ask again. 90 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna use this because since she's so vibrational, 91 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask you a question later on, since she's 92 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:42,839 Speaker 1: such a vibrational person. So it made her ask again 93 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 1: if anything ever went down for them. He denied it. 94 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,799 Speaker 1: I know my husband and I could since he was lying. 95 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 1: He was lying about what him and he said no, 96 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 1: and so she said, I know he lied. Then I 97 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: contacted a long time mutual friend of ours and asked him, 98 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,239 Speaker 1: in a roundabout way, how well my husband knew this woman? 99 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:16,840 Speaker 1: How how round about can you ask these questions that 100 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: she all of a sudden say she got answers too. 101 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,719 Speaker 1: He connected a lot of doubts from me without even 102 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,480 Speaker 1: knowing he was spilling the tea. What now you walk 103 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 1: away and say that you know this woman had this 104 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:32,039 Speaker 1: man had a sexual relationship, but you was asking what 105 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: in a roundabout way that he connected the dot. I 106 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: don't think she had hold, we'll be back of your response. Yeah, 107 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,559 Speaker 1: you got more, I know. At twenty three minutes after 108 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,400 Speaker 1: the hour, the subject does he still have feelings for her? 109 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: All right, we'll get back into it right after this. 110 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: You're listening morning show? All right, Come on, Steve, let's 111 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 1: recap today's strawberry letters. The subject does he still have 112 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:06,760 Speaker 1: feelings for her? What are you talking about? You say 113 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: that y'all been dating, y'all been together twenty years. First, 114 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 1: all the data was a female friend in his circle. 115 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: You ain't think none of it, didn't you say? Red 116 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: flags kept popping up because there was a certain vibe 117 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: that I kept picking up on when they were in 118 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 1: the same place. Remember this conversation about she's vibrational. Now, 119 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: eventually I asked him if they had any type of 120 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: term relations. He denied any dealings with her, said they're 121 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: just friend. Now. Listen to this. Years of the same 122 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: vibes or energy. Nothing, This is all her vibes and energy. Nothing, 123 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: no damn proof, just energy and vibes from miss vibrational, 124 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: Miss cleo it is who wrote this letter. So now 125 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 1: he said they were just friend, all right, And it 126 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: made you ask again if anything went down? He denied it. 127 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 1: Now you say you know your husband say he was lying. 128 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 1: So you contacted a mutual friend of yours a long 129 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: time and asked him, in a roundabout way, how well 130 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: my husband knew this woman. Now listen to the answer 131 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: she got in what she says was in a round 132 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 1: about way. He connected a lot of doubts from me 133 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 1: without even knowing he was spilling the tea. He said 134 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:37,079 Speaker 1: that my husband and this woman had a sexual relationship first, 135 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 1: then tried to be in a monogamous relationship, but that 136 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: didn't work out, so that just became the best of friends. 137 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: What a long time friend told us? And how did 138 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: you ask these questions? In around about way? What he 139 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,439 Speaker 1: didn't know? He was spilling it tea? How long is 140 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: he ten? That didn't know? How surely? How easily you 141 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:08,839 Speaker 1: don't see a woman pope and you just supposed to 142 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,559 Speaker 1: be your boy man? Get about it here, This man 143 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: cold all day long. Both of them asked what she thinks, 144 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:22,680 Speaker 1: and that's he's probably looking upside her head. He needs 145 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: to check his boy. I confronted my husband, but of 146 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: course he stuck to his lie and said I was 147 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: being paranoid. Yes, yes, she's paranoid. Now, yes, and he 148 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 1: stuck to his story. Why because it ain't no damn proof. 149 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 1: You talk, but surely you said it happened twenty years ago. 150 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,440 Speaker 1: It ought to stay in the past. What she drumming 151 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 1: this up for if it was? But that is no proof. 152 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 1: This is his say in court. This is his sake. 153 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:06,600 Speaker 1: His eyes are following her the room. Girl, We ain't 154 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 1: got to that part yet. So what his eyes is 155 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: following around the rule? So he wasn't following her around 156 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: the rule? He didn't follow her around the room. And 157 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 1: that don't mean they had an a fact. I couldn't 158 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 1: tell him. I knew for a fact that he slept 159 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,079 Speaker 1: with her. That's not a fact. It's called his say, Lady. 160 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 1: The thing that bothers me the most is that even today, 161 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 1: when she's around, he's constantly scanning the room to see 162 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,719 Speaker 1: where she is. Maybe he from the hood. He just look, 163 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 1: you know, look and see what's going on? Now, how 164 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 1: I am stop? I've never been paranoia the day in 165 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 1: my life. You are, now, Yes, she is. Surely this 166 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 1: has been going Shirley, This has been going on for years. 167 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: This woman has been on this same red flag tip 168 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 1: for years with no proof at all? Does he still 169 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 1: have feelers for Hub? Is he still messing with Hub? 170 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:16,320 Speaker 1: If you're so damn vibrational, what is this letther fall? 171 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,680 Speaker 1: You know you can vibe everything, you can vibe red 172 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 1: flags all this here, but you can't vibe that they 173 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: seeing each other, husband at home every night. He ain't 174 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 1: got no credit card bill showing up. You didn't write 175 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: in here a boy, no money missing out didn't count. 176 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 1: You didn't write in here about no unaccountable hours your man. 177 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,959 Speaker 1: You ain't wrote about no e liptick on, no collar. 178 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 1: That's all that's proof. And everdes you ain't got none 179 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: of that, none of that. And if they are messing around, 180 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 1: can I beat Hortail for smiling in my face while 181 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:55,599 Speaker 1: stabbing me in my back? What you're gonna jump on 182 00:11:55,640 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 1: this woman phone with no damn her husband? I can't 183 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 1: go girl. So what she knows? Yeah? And you know 184 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 1: how to water? Yeah, we have to and to be 185 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 1: friends so nice. So now this is something she's allowed 186 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 1: for twenty years, but now she got red flags about it. Yeah, 187 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,400 Speaker 1: but she's so vibrational, she don't know if they still 188 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:42,480 Speaker 1: messing rhyme, stop saying that that makes me sick. All 189 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:47,920 Speaker 1: these vibrational people got everything vibe you vibe everything but 190 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 1: the damn answer. All right, listen poster comments on today's 191 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: Strubberry find what you could probably find water on the 192 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 1: farm too. On Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARVFM, on 193 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,599 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on 194 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 1: de Man. They're coming up at forty six minutes after 195 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 1: the hour. We got Junior, what have we learned from 196 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 1: new story fellows Rajola? Exactly? All right, Junior, with sports 197 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:25,200 Speaker 1: coming up right after this. You're listening to the Stave 198 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:26,319 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.