WEBVTT - Second Date Update: Standup Funny Guy

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<v Speaker 1>Second date up to date. Over the years, we've had

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<v Speaker 1>people with all sorts of interesting professions call in for

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<v Speaker 1>a second date update. Oh yeah, for sure. And we've

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<v Speaker 1>had a few former pro athletes, a movie stunt man,

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<v Speaker 1>and one time we got a junior level auditor at

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<v Speaker 1>an accounting firm. I mean that was interesting to me.

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<v Speaker 1>Most numbers, well most because my parents do all my taxes,

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<v Speaker 1>so I don't know anything about that stuff. It's fascinating.

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<v Speaker 1>But today's phone call is pretty special because we have

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<v Speaker 1>someone on the line who says they have one of

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<v Speaker 1>our jobs. And that's a professional stand up comedian, just

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<v Speaker 1>like joke each other. His name is Harold, So please

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<v Speaker 1>welcome to the stage. Harold. How I'm going? Everybody? Is

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<v Speaker 1>that a fake accent? Is that part of your stick? Harold? Fake?

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<v Speaker 1>Ain't nothing fake about me but my finger nails I

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<v Speaker 1>got on? Okay, all right, I like this guy. Alright, Harold,

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<v Speaker 1>it's gonna take my job. Thanks for being with us. Man. So, um,

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<v Speaker 1>before we get into your date, first, tell us about

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<v Speaker 1>the girl that she met. What's her name? Oh? Her

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<v Speaker 1>name was Ashley? Okay, how'd you meet her? I met

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<v Speaker 1>her through this date nap, But you know that's a

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<v Speaker 1>whole another chick kaboodle. Yeah, you never know how boring

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<v Speaker 1>you are until you start feeling out that darn thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I tell you, seriously, I feel like this is a setup,

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<v Speaker 1>the whole thing for his next joke. I'm telling you though.

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<v Speaker 1>But you know what, as I was feeling it out,

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<v Speaker 1>I kid, you're not I realize. Hey, wait a minute,

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<v Speaker 1>there's millions. I'm talking billions of people out here who's

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<v Speaker 1>not dating me. What the heck is their problem? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>I feel you, man, I feel that way all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, how came I only have two thousand people

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<v Speaker 1>dating me? Where are my millions? So? Did she hit

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<v Speaker 1>you up? Is she the one that reached out to you?

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<v Speaker 1>The profile? Well? Yeah, I feel it. I mean, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to meet somebody nice. You get into

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<v Speaker 1>a relationship, YEA, a serious relationship. To me, it's like

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<v Speaker 1>freaking a marathon. It's all stupid. Huh. I thought you

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<v Speaker 1>wanted to be in a relationship. Well, I'm just saying

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't mind being in one, but for the most part,

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<v Speaker 1>you got to go through all this foolish Just okay,

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<v Speaker 1>can we just focus maybe a little bit. I'm really

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<v Speaker 1>enjoying your perspective on life, Harold. But can we can

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<v Speaker 1>we get to your date with with Ashley? Yeah? But

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<v Speaker 1>I just very you want to know how I came

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<v Speaker 1>about doing all of this? Well, okay, we get the idea.

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<v Speaker 1>You met her online, So yeah, exactly did you do

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<v Speaker 1>with her? I mean we went out to go e

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<v Speaker 1>Too this restaurant and Carol, how was the conversation between

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<v Speaker 1>you and Ashley? Because it's like this one. Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>may I may know why she's not calling you back day.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll tell ya. I's gonna make her smile and laugh

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<v Speaker 1>throughout this whole evening. Are you saying that you ran

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<v Speaker 1>a comedy bit on her? Yeah, well I'm not really

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<v Speaker 1>a comedy bit. I just told her through things that

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<v Speaker 1>I believe ben Like, for instance, I told her, I said,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what, Ashley? She said what, Harold? I said,

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<v Speaker 1>you know you're like a jellyfish? Yeah, jelly fish? And

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<v Speaker 1>I said, your body's rudimentally and I'm just I'm scared

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<v Speaker 1>to get near it. That was what they call a

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<v Speaker 1>Harroldism body. This is where did she laugh? She chuffled

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<v Speaker 1>out to all get out and then and then I

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<v Speaker 1>followed it up with. I said, you know what, Ashley?

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<v Speaker 1>She said, oh what, Harold? I said, you know, relationships

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<v Speaker 1>are the darkish thing. They're ninety percent of trying to

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<v Speaker 1>figure out where we're gonna go eat at. Harold isn't here.

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<v Speaker 1>I really I do appreciate, though you re enacting Ashley

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<v Speaker 1>answering your questions, because I really feel like I'm there.

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<v Speaker 1>Can we get back just to the date again? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>how do you think your chemistry was? Do you feel

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<v Speaker 1>a connection there? I did? I mean I was getting

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<v Speaker 1>ready to walk her up to her door after we

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<v Speaker 1>concluded a nice little dinner and walk around the lake.

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<v Speaker 1>But I was telling her what I thought about doing.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sort of glad I didn't. She was like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>what's that I told her? I said, I was going

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<v Speaker 1>to wear a parachute tonight. Are just hear me out?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why I was gonna wear it, but

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<v Speaker 1>I find that it was going to start off a conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait a minute, we didn't have a bunch of joke. Wait,

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<v Speaker 1>hold on for curveball and that you told me you

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<v Speaker 1>were gonna wear a parachute. And when she asked why,

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't have an answer? Right? I showed it here

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<v Speaker 1>in my trunk. I said, if I got here and

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't feel my mojo and I didn't feel like myself,

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<v Speaker 1>I was gonna craft on this here in parachute and

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<v Speaker 1>walk in this her restaurant. There was actually a parachute there. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>that's what he said. He said he on an actual

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<v Speaker 1>parachute in the back of his trump. I thought, it's

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<v Speaker 1>figuring parachute. You never know when a good parachute joke

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<v Speaker 1>it's gonna come up, so you but think about it.

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<v Speaker 1>Somebody was gonna have to ask me. She was going

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<v Speaker 1>to have to say, now, Harold, why are you wearing

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<v Speaker 1>this here parachute? But she didn't say that. Well, I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't wear but I'm telling you, I feel good about

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<v Speaker 1>myself and I had mymojo. Okay, Well, I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>I've gotten a pretty good idea. It sounds like you

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<v Speaker 1>guys had a lot of chemistry. Maybe let's pass forward

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<v Speaker 1>to the end of the day, how to the night

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<v Speaker 1>and with you and I'd like to get to the

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<v Speaker 1>very finish. What's the last thing that happened. I'll tell

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<v Speaker 1>you what now, and I'll be very forthright with you.

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<v Speaker 1>For the first time when I went there. I went

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<v Speaker 1>in for that they're little kiss and I was ready

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<v Speaker 1>embraced this, you know, like how they show on television,

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<v Speaker 1>just alone, drawn out, faint while you were warried. Mary short,

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<v Speaker 1>my god, is nothing happening? I mean, heck, but I

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<v Speaker 1>tell you, I mean. I said, thank you, ma'am, and

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<v Speaker 1>and I walked about four feet and I turned around

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<v Speaker 1>and I said, you know, if you want, you can

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<v Speaker 1>call me c beb bet. I said, yes, it stands

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<v Speaker 1>for coffee bean, and then she says coffee bean. And

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<v Speaker 1>I walked another two steps to my car and I

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<v Speaker 1>turned around and I did a thrust. I said, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>because not grind. So fine, there we go. I told her,

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<v Speaker 1>just like next of all, house, I'm good to the

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<v Speaker 1>last drop. Wow. Well, that sounds like a pretty great time, Jeff.

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<v Speaker 1>And in your in your mind when you look back

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<v Speaker 1>on the day, don't ask you don't think I should

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<v Speaker 1>moment that could have gone? Okay, All right, okay, let's

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<v Speaker 1>let's play a song and we'll come back and then

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<v Speaker 1>we'll try and get you your second date up date.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, CB, no good, I got a whole plethor

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<v Speaker 1>of a short you guys about all right? All right,

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna take a short intermission. We'll be back with

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<v Speaker 1>more of right after this second if you're just joining

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<v Speaker 1>us for the second date update. We've been talking with

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<v Speaker 1>one of our listeners named Harold about his first date

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<v Speaker 1>with a woman named Ashley. Now, Harold is a stand

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<v Speaker 1>up comedian, and he went into a lot of detail

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<v Speaker 1>about their night. But here are the main points that

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<v Speaker 1>I took away. Okay, they went to a restaurant, he

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<v Speaker 1>drove her home. Yes, he pulled a parachute out from

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<v Speaker 1>the trunk of his car, and he even got a

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<v Speaker 1>short peck at her doorstep, even though he was kind

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<v Speaker 1>of hoping for a longer, sloppier kiss. Yeah, you are

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<v Speaker 1>seeing the very end. What's the very end? The CBE

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<v Speaker 1>the coffee being Well, he has a nickname. He lets

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<v Speaker 1>to go by CBE, which is short for coffee bean

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<v Speaker 1>because he grinds so fine. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>he is a really important last end being shot of

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<v Speaker 1>his date. One thing was abundantly clear to me, though,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's that he had a really nice time with Ashley,

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<v Speaker 1>and he's bummed that she's not calling him back. Now, Harold,

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<v Speaker 1>about ready to make your phone call here? How you feeling.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just so approving of you guys doing this here

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<v Speaker 1>for me. I mean, I wouldn't job an the other

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<v Speaker 1>day and man, I saw this couple holding hands and

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<v Speaker 1>I just started thinking about this little filly, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh man, this makes me hopeful that one day I

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<v Speaker 1>can find the right person that hate that couple just

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<v Speaker 1>as bad as for me. Well, I'm just hoping it's

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be Ashley. That's what I was feeling for. You

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<v Speaker 1>can roast people together. I hope that for you too. Harold, Yeah, Harold,

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<v Speaker 1>we didn't hear. I mean, have you reached out to

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<v Speaker 1>Ashley and she hasn't called you back? Why? There are

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<v Speaker 1>a couple of Texas and I even called, but I

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<v Speaker 1>got nothing. Okay, So you reach out to her, okay, Texas. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe we'll have better luck here because I'm ready to

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<v Speaker 1>dial her number and we're gonna try and get your

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<v Speaker 1>second day up. Day. You ready to do this, man, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>let's go for it. Remember, I feel have to say this,

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<v Speaker 1>wait until it's your turn to talk, Jeffrey. I'll handle

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<v Speaker 1>it from a beginning. I'll call you in when I

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<v Speaker 1>think you should talk to her. Okay, I tell you guys.

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<v Speaker 1>That might be a little tough to do, because hell,

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<v Speaker 1>I've got a lot of haroldisms. I need to get

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<v Speaker 1>rid of it. Okay, trying to get you another date, Harold,

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<v Speaker 1>So just damp in the Haroldism a little bit. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>let me try and get some answers from her. Alright, alright, alrighty, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>here we go. I'm in a dollar number right now. Hello, Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm looking for Ashley. Who is this? Hi, ash My

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<v Speaker 1>name is jeff from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey

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<v Speaker 1>in the Morning. Who did you say this was the

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<v Speaker 1>on side? Okay, we're a morning radio show. Okay, We're

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<v Speaker 1>called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and we're reaching

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<v Speaker 1>out to you today because we heard that you love comedy.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, what is this about, though, I'm confused. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>we're a comedy radio show, and we have a friend

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<v Speaker 1>of our show who also does comedy than your friend.

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<v Speaker 1>I held it might be. I don't know. I'm okay,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you, hold on, hold on, I'm sorry. I am

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<v Speaker 1>fascinated to hear your side of the night. Like he

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<v Speaker 1>told us about your date and what we're doing here.

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<v Speaker 1>It's called a second date. Update. We're trying to help

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<v Speaker 1>Harold understand what went wrong during your first date, because,

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<v Speaker 1>believe it or not, he doesn't know. Yeah. Wow, that's

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<v Speaker 1>amazing that he doesn't. I'm yeah, yeah, so what is

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<v Speaker 1>your help? Yeah, because we all understand that Harold is

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<v Speaker 1>a one of a kind type of characters. Yeah, he

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<v Speaker 1>sure is. You know, so is there something about him

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<v Speaker 1>or about the date that was a problem for you? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, to be honest, um, some part of it

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<v Speaker 1>was fun because he's a comedians of his jokes or

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<v Speaker 1>even a little bit's fun. Okay, but some of them

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<v Speaker 1>I don't even have a punch. Fine, you know, like

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<v Speaker 1>I just I just looked at him. Yeah, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>he just talks a lot. Yeah, I'm not sure what

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<v Speaker 1>you mean. But I mean, did he ever take a

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<v Speaker 1>second to like ask you questions? No, that's the thing,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's the thing that made me kind of go like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>he's not going to work because for me, the number

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<v Speaker 1>one thing I need is a phenomenal lit Well. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes people talk a lot when they're really nervous because

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<v Speaker 1>they're out with someone that they like. Yeah, but that's okay, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I get it. Did a glass of water, you know, like,

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<v Speaker 1>take a second. I understand how you're feeling that. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you don't know if there's a bond there. But I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know if Harold would necessarily agree with you on everything.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, he probably would make a joke about it,

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<v Speaker 1>or trying to. I mean, there may not be a punchline.

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<v Speaker 1>Did he try? He sounds like a sweetheart in his

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<v Speaker 1>own way? Does he? How long can you last for that?

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<v Speaker 1>A day, a week? No, I wouldn't even give it

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<v Speaker 1>five minute. Maybe just give it five more minutes because

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<v Speaker 1>I need to let you know that Harold is on

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<v Speaker 1>the other line listening, and he does want to talk

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<v Speaker 1>to you right now. I'm here. He has not spoken

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<v Speaker 1>an entire one word this entire time. Harold, are you there?

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<v Speaker 1>It's been hard, I must say, Oh, but but I

0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:23.839
<v Speaker 1>just want to clearify something real quick, Ashley. I hope

0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:28.040
<v Speaker 1>you know when I talked about putting one arm around you,

0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:31.600
<v Speaker 1>getting my other arm putting it around you and squeezing

0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:35.640
<v Speaker 1>you tight and just tackling you, I'll be honest. I

0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:39.280
<v Speaker 1>was talking about relationships. Then my mind went to football

0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:44.520
<v Speaker 1>and I just went all that doesn't make any sense. Well,

0:13:44.520 --> 0:13:46.280
<v Speaker 1>that's what that's what happens when you're in love, Like

0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:49.520
<v Speaker 1>things don't make sense anymore, things start running together. Can

0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:51.840
<v Speaker 1>I can? I ask Ashley, was there any jokes that

0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.160
<v Speaker 1>made you laugh of Harold's and you said one of

0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:56.080
<v Speaker 1>about a pat on time to get I don't want

0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:59.400
<v Speaker 1>to think about that. I don't think. I don't think

0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.480
<v Speaker 1>we heard that. I can't discuss that one on the radio,

0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:06.920
<v Speaker 1>so that's a live one, okay. But I tell you,

0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:09.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean I would love to spend some more time

0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:11.280
<v Speaker 1>with you so we can go over a few that

0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.360
<v Speaker 1>was funny. No, no, no, no, Harold, you're missing the point, dude,

0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:17.000
<v Speaker 1>Are you not listening to her? I'm gonna make the

0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:21.160
<v Speaker 1>next all about her, That's what I'm trying to tell you. Now,

0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.480
<v Speaker 1>how Harold, how are you gonna make it all about her?

0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:27.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna just sit back, relax, putting my feet up,

0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:31.280
<v Speaker 1>have my get guitar, and just stick along while she's

0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:35.440
<v Speaker 1>stuffing away. Wait, guitar, that's not let's give a little

0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:37.960
<v Speaker 1>back background track her to talk over. That wouldn't be

0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:41.400
<v Speaker 1>able to hear the answers if you play the guitar, Harold, Yeah,

0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:43.640
<v Speaker 1>I mean, because you put me on the spot that

0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:46.080
<v Speaker 1>I talked so much. I'm not saying a thing. I'm

0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:49.280
<v Speaker 1>just gonna listen to you. No, that's not what she wants.

0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:51.600
<v Speaker 1>That's exactly what she wants. She wants a man who

0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:54.400
<v Speaker 1>is a very very deep listener. If you're not listening,

0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:59.720
<v Speaker 1>if you're playing guitar, you can play guitar and listen, Harold,

0:14:59.800 --> 0:15:03.680
<v Speaker 1>tell it's like a very multi talented person. To tell him, Ashley,

0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:06.200
<v Speaker 1>tell him exactly what you want right now, Like, just

0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:10.120
<v Speaker 1>listen to what I say. Ask me questions about me.

0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:14.240
<v Speaker 1>Don't make me feel like you're testing out the Dolts. Okay,

0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:15.880
<v Speaker 1>do you want to give it a try right now? Harold,

0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:17.680
<v Speaker 1>why don't you ask her a question about her that

0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:20.800
<v Speaker 1>has nothing to do with you. Let's practice. Do you

0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:34.640
<v Speaker 1>like Whipray, Ashley? I? Yes, I do? Okay, Now do

0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:40.200
<v Speaker 1>you like the little whip Whip. I'm just trying to

0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:44.560
<v Speaker 1>find out about her, guy. Okay, he's trying to find

0:15:44.600 --> 0:15:47.960
<v Speaker 1>out about what types of foods you like? Ask me questions.

0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:51.120
<v Speaker 1>Ask her real questions, like about what she likes, what

0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:55.080
<v Speaker 1>motivates her in life, what her pick it's like. Oh, now,

0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:58.680
<v Speaker 1>there's be specific questions. Okay, Okay, let me ask you

0:15:58.880 --> 0:16:04.880
<v Speaker 1>this motion question of them? All right, do you like

0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:10.840
<v Speaker 1>Nax after Dark or h LEO plus Okay? I like

0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:15.560
<v Speaker 1>cho plus Okay, Okay, Now we get in some way.

0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:20.960
<v Speaker 1>So are we getting to the end? That's what we

0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.200
<v Speaker 1>need to get to. Yeah, I'm gonna be honest with

0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:27.720
<v Speaker 1>you because I'm feeling some synergy here guys, and you

0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:30.120
<v Speaker 1>know what. That's why I would love to ask Ashley,

0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.160
<v Speaker 1>would you like to go out on one more date

0:16:32.200 --> 0:16:34.400
<v Speaker 1>with Harold? We will pay for it. Dinner is gonna

0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:38.240
<v Speaker 1>be free, and so are the jokes. Yea, the dinner

0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:40.520
<v Speaker 1>sounds great. But to be honest, I don't think I

0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.560
<v Speaker 1>can stand the heading of not being listened to that

0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:47.360
<v Speaker 1>real things for me, that's not shocked. You want me

0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.720
<v Speaker 1>to leave the guitar home, oh my godness? Or I

0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:53.000
<v Speaker 1>could put it in the Trump in patient change your

0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:58.320
<v Speaker 1>mind on the date with the parachute guitar together? Will

0:16:58.360 --> 0:17:02.600
<v Speaker 1>you bring your ears? Certainly? Will? I have no problem

0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:05.040
<v Speaker 1>with that. I just need to spend more time with you,

0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:10.879
<v Speaker 1>really sweet, Ashley. I mean, you're dr were funny some

0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:13.879
<v Speaker 1>of them, some of them me. I'm a be honest

0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:16.040
<v Speaker 1>with you. You know, if you just eat a peanut

0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:20.200
<v Speaker 1>butter sandwich. It's all good, but there is nothing like

0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:24.520
<v Speaker 1>peanut butter, jelly and banana. And actually you're that banana.

0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:32.240
<v Speaker 1>Oh and you're the peanut butter jelly. Where's the I

0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:34.439
<v Speaker 1>don't think. I don't think more romantic words have ever

0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:37.959
<v Speaker 1>been said. But are you actually changing your mind on this? Actually?

0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:41.800
<v Speaker 1>Are you actually turning? I don't know. I mean, oh,

0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:45.439
<v Speaker 1>oh god, this is working. I mean, boys and girls.

0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:51.200
<v Speaker 1>Do you hear that there's some synergy up and this

0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:56.639
<v Speaker 1>your error? I feel the synergy too. Okay, Actually, we're

0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:58.600
<v Speaker 1>sending you out one more time, even if you change

0:17:58.640 --> 0:18:03.720
<v Speaker 1>your mind. You're going out on one more date with Harold. Okay,

0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.359
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, you have to update us on this

0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:10.119
<v Speaker 1>because I need to do the second night when Harold.

0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.760
<v Speaker 1>Are you feeling happy right now? I'm a little spiceless.

0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:20.200
<v Speaker 1>I can't even felt keep with that le froaking Jeffrey

0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:20.760
<v Speaker 1>in the morning.