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Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to Act

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Speaker 1: Casual on the Velvet's Edge podcast. This week, Chip Doorsh

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Speaker 1: and I are breaking down the toilet paper shortage that

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Speaker 1: has happened due to the coronavirus pandemic and the fact

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Speaker 1: that we all must come to the acceptance that well,

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Speaker 1: everybody poops obviously within this isolation, Chip and I have

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Speaker 1: been recording separately and we had a couple of tiny

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Speaker 1: sound glitches within this episode. I can assure you guys

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Speaker 1: that we are working on it, and I think now

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Speaker 1: we have our new system figured out. Thank you, guys

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Speaker 1: for your support as we navigate this new lifestyle, and

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Speaker 1: thanks for continuing to listen. Here's this week's episode of

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Speaker 1: Act Casual on velvets Edge. So how's your toilet paper situation?

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Speaker 1: I'm stopped? How are y'all doing down in the cabin?

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Speaker 1: Thank god all the My Boyaren did order one role

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Speaker 1: like or no. He was at the grocery and there

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Speaker 1: was a loan loan straggler or whatever, lone ranger on

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Speaker 1: the aisle of the roughest toilet paper. It's literally it

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Speaker 1: might it might as well not even be real toilet paper.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know what it is. It's so thin

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Speaker 1: you have to get so any strips of it to

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Speaker 1: be able to actually use it, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's like the kind that like the mall, yeah,

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Speaker 1: or like jail. That's what I would airplane toilet paper. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's like in an in an actual airplane bathroom. It's

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Speaker 1: the same kind of toilet paper? Is that so luckily?

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Speaker 1: I had some at my house? What do they even

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Speaker 1: give you toilet paper too? I don't know, A great

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Speaker 1: question in front of your roommate. It's like, oh, that

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Speaker 1: would be terrible speaking of poop. Isn't it so funny

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Speaker 1: that the thing that we're all freaking out about the

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Speaker 1: most is not having toilet paper, And so all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, the conversation is so open about poop. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like a little bit. I mean, no one's actually saying it.

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Speaker 1: But isn't that where we're all freaking out about? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people are talking about

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Speaker 1: poop now, like the days are like all the rage

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Speaker 1: people are talking about the days that, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: surprised me that they can even read the word um.

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Speaker 1: Don't you where did you all come from like who

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Speaker 1: started the rum that toilet paper was gold. I was

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Speaker 1: researching a little bit because I was thinking that, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: why is this the thing that everyone freaked out about, Like,

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Speaker 1: of all the things that we could be worried about

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Speaker 1: a shortage of why was it toilet paper? And I

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Speaker 1: truly believe that it was just for some reason that

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Speaker 1: became the thing, and then there did become a shortage,

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Speaker 1: like we created it ourselves. It seems like, right, and

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Speaker 1: now it's just the thing that if you see it

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Speaker 1: on the shelf, even if it's shitty toilet paper, you're like,

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Speaker 1: I gotta grab it, grab this panic. I mean legitimately,

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Speaker 1: we were having a conversation the other day too, and

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Speaker 1: he's like I heard that at the bye ride on

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Speaker 1: Belmont that the delivery is at eight am. Like everyone's

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Speaker 1: like talking about when the toilet paper gets delivered the drop. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's like gonna be a line. We're all going to

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Speaker 1: get coronavirus standing in line for toilet paper. Does this

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Speaker 1: does this shine a light on the fact that like

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Speaker 1: we like I've never am like, oh, I'm down to

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Speaker 1: one roll of toilet paper, like you know what I mean, Like, no,

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Speaker 1: I always have like a decent amount. I'm not like

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Speaker 1: hoarding toilet paper, but I'm never like down to that

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Speaker 1: last role in my house, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: That's a dangerous place to be. But like it makes

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Speaker 1: me think, like, was everyone down to like the last

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Speaker 1: role in their house? Is that the case? Like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: maybe I live on the edge. I don't know, but

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Speaker 1: sometimes I get down to the last role. Really, I

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Speaker 1: think it's just you get busy and for me, I

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Speaker 1: don't realize. And so then I opened my cabin to

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Speaker 1: refill the toilet paper and you're like, oh, ship, I'm

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Speaker 1: almost out. But once I started hearing that there was

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Speaker 1: a toilet paper shortage everywhere. This is before we even

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Speaker 1: got isolated, I was like, well, I guess I'll just

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Speaker 1: grab a little extra, which is exactly what happened. Everyone

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Speaker 1: did that. It's almost it's insane, But I think it's

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Speaker 1: so funny because truly, before this would you have ever imagined,

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Speaker 1: Like I feel like people are so weird about the

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Speaker 1: conversation of poop. Well, everyone poops. Everyone don't talk about it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: no one gets up and it's like, hey, guys, I'll

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Speaker 1: be right back. I gotta poop. But people would be

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Speaker 1: like I gotta pe you know what I mean, Like

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Speaker 1: no one's afraid about Like, right, why is why is

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Speaker 1: peing acceptable to talk about? I don't know, And it

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Speaker 1: clearly it starts from a very young age because you know,

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Speaker 1: there's that really popular children's book Everyone Poops exactly, So like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know where the like I guess it's shame

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Speaker 1: is the word where definitely shame comes from. Because it's like,

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Speaker 1: if you're gonna eat, you're gonna poop, right, it's healthy

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Speaker 1: digestion actually, and if you're not doing that, you should

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Speaker 1: probably see a doctor, would be the truth, right, But

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Speaker 1: the toilet paper craze has really really blow my mind.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, Like it's a conversation at our

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Speaker 1: house pretty frequently, pretty much every day, like how did

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Speaker 1: this happen? Why did this happen? And I do think

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Speaker 1: it's kind of what you said, Like I was reading

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Speaker 1: this article on Time magazine dot com. I think it's

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Speaker 1: just Time dot com actually, but it's Time magazine. And

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Speaker 1: you know, this is a basic need, right, like we

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Speaker 1: have to go to the bathroom. So it's like the

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Speaker 1: idea of running out of something that could help us

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Speaker 1: or that helps us in that situation just is so

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Speaker 1: scary to us. And like you said, I think there's

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Speaker 1: so much shame around it, like what if you don't

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Speaker 1: have toilet paper? Oh my gosh, Like you're that gross

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Speaker 1: person that doesn't wipe their ass. I guess, like what right?

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Speaker 1: So there's there is all of this stuff said about it,

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Speaker 1: but it's like, in reality, there are alternatives, which we'll

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Speaker 1: get to it a little bit, but there act. I

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Speaker 1: think the big fear for everyone has just become how

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Speaker 1: will I clean myself well? And the irony in it,

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Speaker 1: and some of the things that I've been seeing is

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Speaker 1: like the truth about toilet paper is you're not really

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Speaker 1: cleaning yourself that well. And the first example that I

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Speaker 1: saw with some comedian I can't even remember who it

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Speaker 1: is to credit it. I tried to find it today,

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Speaker 1: but some comedian on Instagram was like, all right, pick

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Speaker 1: up some poop, rub it in your hands. Now, go

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Speaker 1: grab a paper towel from your sink and wipe your

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Speaker 1: hands off. Are they clean? Because that's what you're doing

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Speaker 1: to your ass every time you wipe the toilet. It's

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Speaker 1: so true. You're basically like you're basically like packing it

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Speaker 1: in there more like it's not smearing it on yourself

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Speaker 1: and a little like less gross. Example is like if

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Speaker 1: you were gardening all day and you had your hands

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Speaker 1: in dirt, like when you come in and wash them

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Speaker 1: off with water and the thing, You're not just going

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Speaker 1: to use a driveack now and be like my hands

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Speaker 1: are clean, Like, oh, you wouldn't feel clean at all? Right,

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Speaker 1: what an interesting concept? Like whoever invented this idea of

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Speaker 1: toilet paper? No wonder they're like million, I mean multi

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Speaker 1: billion is probably at this point, But like, why did

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Speaker 1: it work? Because it really doesn't clean you that well, right,

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Speaker 1: it didn't. You say there was another comedian you're listening

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Speaker 1: to that's that talked about what he does on first dates. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I love this so much. I'm pretty sure it was

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Speaker 1: Dave Chappelle. Um, he's so funny, so funny. He basically was,

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Speaker 1: like he said, what he goes on with a girl,

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Speaker 1: like the first thing he does before hooking up with him,

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Speaker 1: Like he like goes into the bathroom and he looks

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Speaker 1: and he's like, if I don't see whites, I ain't

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Speaker 1: fucking hercau He's like, told they were don't do the trick,

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Speaker 1: so she didn't have true. Yeah, so I gotta keep

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Speaker 1: it clean, y'all. Well, I'm a proponent of like I

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Speaker 1: don't have a bid day, but I'm I think I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna get one. Um, but I'm a propon toilet paper

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Speaker 1: plus white finished with a wipe. Oh so you you

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Speaker 1: you know, start breaking ground with a toilet paper and

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Speaker 1: then you move to a white that's if you only

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Speaker 1: like wipes are actually I think pretty bad for septic tanks.

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Speaker 1: I think they're getting better, but a lot of wipes

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Speaker 1: are not septic safe and stuff. Um, so if you're

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Speaker 1: only using one wipe each time, it's better. So that

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Speaker 1: should be sort of like you're clean finish. I see

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Speaker 1: what you're saying. However, Um, I was researching a lot

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Speaker 1: about this because I think that the big argument here

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Speaker 1: that we're both trying to make is that there are

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Speaker 1: alternatives to toilet paper, and I think that wipes are

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Speaker 1: a great alternative. In fact, I went on Amazon because

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Speaker 1: there's such a toilet paper shortage. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: surely wives are out. Wipes are fully stopped. Wives are

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Speaker 1: fully stocked right now, so I mean they're not going

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Speaker 1: to be after people listen to this podcast, but you're

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Speaker 1: welcome to really Clark. Who's that Really Clark is like

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Speaker 1: a maker of toilet paper and wipe. Oh that's what

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Speaker 1: I got, Cottonell. And actually there was a video that

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Speaker 1: featured what happens to a wipe and what happens to

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Speaker 1: toilet paper within the pipes of your toilet and the

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Speaker 1: wife actually dissolved better than total, So you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: you don't need to do the wipe too. I mean,

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Speaker 1: the toilet paper to white good to know, might just

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Speaker 1: be able to go white. So maybe I should go

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Speaker 1: out and sell all my toilet paper and buy wipes. Hey,

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Speaker 1: you could billions. Probably everyone's like that much. How did

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Speaker 1: you survive quarantine? You're like thriving your best living in

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Speaker 1: my mansion, my toilet riper mansion. I'm surprised it's not

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Speaker 1: like illegal to hoard toilet paper at this point. It

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Speaker 1: seems like it would be. Well they were when you know,

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Speaker 1: the ship was the ship was hit in the fan. Really,

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Speaker 1: I went to because I've gotten toilet paper that had

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Speaker 1: I had ordered off of Amazon, and it was like

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize that I ordered like a commercial amount,

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Speaker 1: so I had a ton, but I was like, well, ship,

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Speaker 1: maybe I should just order more if it's going to

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Speaker 1: be that bad. And the time that I had ordered it,

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Speaker 1: it was like twenty two bucks for like this big,

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Speaker 1: huge box of toilet paper. When I went to order

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Speaker 1: it again, it was seventy eight dollars. Wow. So basically

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Speaker 1: you're the reason there's a shortage. Is also on that statement,

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Speaker 1: but I would clear things up. This was pre coronavirus.

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Speaker 1: This was in fact, it was the end of last year,

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Speaker 1: like it was just an accident. I did the same

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Speaker 1: thing with paper. How much toilet paper do you have?

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Speaker 1: Probably you haven't bought it since the end of last year,

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Speaker 1: and I probably I think I counted the other day

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Speaker 1: forty seven rolls or something. Oh my god, you yeah, wow,

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Speaker 1: well we can. Maybe I should send some to a

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Speaker 1: couple of lucky listeners. We're doing a giveaway. Um, it's

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Speaker 1: like the most pathetic, sad giveaway ever, like what has

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Speaker 1: our world comes? You get one roll of toilet paper

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Speaker 1: in this magical giveaway. You're welcome your horror stories, your

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Speaker 1: horror stories for toilet paper. I mean the truth is

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Speaker 1: because like, guys don't use toilet paper when I pee.

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Speaker 1: Girls technically could drip dry if you really need to,

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Speaker 1: will drip drop and or use a white But then

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Speaker 1: like so the other the other things can be solved

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Speaker 1: by wipes. Like everybody could check out wipes and let's all,

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Speaker 1: you know, chill out about this. Um. Also, let's talk

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Speaker 1: about bidats a little bit because while doing research for this,

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Speaker 1: you know, I've always kind of been like a days, like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want water shooting up my ass. That does

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Speaker 1: not sound I've never used one, so it seems like

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Speaker 1: it would be messy. Well, there's that one restaurant in Nashville,

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Speaker 1: I think it's the Green Pheasant, and they have bidets

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Speaker 1: in their bathroom their public bidays. They they seat their

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Speaker 1: toilet seats heat. You have different options of like hard

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Speaker 1: or like light. Like there's all these different kinds of

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Speaker 1: the ways that it shoots out that you can there's

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Speaker 1: all those different like filters. I don't even know what

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Speaker 1: you call that, but day filter, I don't know, but

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Speaker 1: they have it. Yeah, so I tried it because I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm just curious. I've never tried it. I

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Speaker 1: think I've screamed out loud in a public bathroom, but

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Speaker 1: I did feel clean, So you know, there They're like,

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Speaker 1: there's something going on in this bathroom. No, it was

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Speaker 1: just the day. But anyway, I started researching the days,

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Speaker 1: and there's a lot of myths about this. One is

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Speaker 1: that you know, a lot of people think the days

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Speaker 1: are more for women because just during like your minstrel cycle,

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Speaker 1: like these reasons would be a great reason to have

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Speaker 1: it a day. But obviously we know they're for men

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Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, for their busy booties. Busy booties. Um. Also,

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Speaker 1: there was the fact that people say that toilet paper

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Speaker 1: toilet paper is cheaper than a bi day, and in fact,

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Speaker 1: in this statement they say the multi tute of toilet

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Speaker 1: paper options available for purchase or staggering. On average, one

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Speaker 1: roll of toilet paper costs three dollars, which is obviously

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Speaker 1: way higher right now, and most Americans use approximate Oh no,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Americans in general use approximately thirty four million

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Speaker 1: rolls of toilet paper a day, which means that we said, yes,

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Speaker 1: we spend a shocking one hundred and two million dollars

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Speaker 1: a day just on toilet paper. This blew my mind, insane. Yea.

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Speaker 1: And so if you purchase a bidat seat or a

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Speaker 1: biday attachment, when they have so many different options. It

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Speaker 1: can easily cut your toilet paper spending down by seventy

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Speaker 1: or more. They say, yeah, And they do also mention

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Speaker 1: what you said earlier is that toilet paper and flashable

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Speaker 1: wipes are becoming a detriment to the sewer system. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean it's certainly a more ecological way of doing

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Speaker 1: doing your business. So I have a question if you

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Speaker 1: use it a day, you don't wipe it all. Now,

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Speaker 1: I think you have to like at least wipe and

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Speaker 1: dry and then you do the bi day. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. To be honest, I would love to I

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Speaker 1: would love to hear from any listeners that like, are

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Speaker 1: probe the day to users. Well, I'm gonna tell you,

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Speaker 1: after reading a lot of this stuff, I sort of

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Speaker 1: started to one of a day, I think I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: order one, Like I've just read so many benefits um

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Speaker 1: to them, and I don't know, I always felt like

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Speaker 1: that it would actually cause more of a mess than

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Speaker 1: a clean up. But like now that people are openly

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Speaker 1: talking about their biday use, I feel a little bit

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Speaker 1: more comfortable about it, right, And also like people, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like what you're saying that just being messy. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think it's a common misconception that a day is

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Speaker 1: kind of unsanitary for that reason. Like it's just you know,

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Speaker 1: like do you have to clean them a day? Most

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Speaker 1: of them apparently are self cleaning, which I didn't realize. Um,

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Speaker 1: and they say that, you know, is the question here

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Speaker 1: was that was posed with is water more hygienic than

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Speaker 1: toilet paper? And it says, well, the answer is washing

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Speaker 1: the water through the use of washing with water, through

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Speaker 1: the use of the day or of a day's seat,

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Speaker 1: instead of constantly wiping and irritating your undercarriage allows you

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Speaker 1: to get an overallall overall clean feeling faster and more

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Speaker 1: effectively than toilet paper alone. Water is more sanitary because

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Speaker 1: it gently cleanses the area without the smearing of toilet

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Speaker 1: with with toilet paper, Like you said, that's smearing. That

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Speaker 1: actually discuss me. Yeah it's gross. Yeah, it's pretty terrible.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm contemplating of a day after all of

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Speaker 1: this toilet paper scare while I am on Hello Tussi

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Speaker 1: dot com right now? Wow, is that a site? Hello

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Speaker 1: Tussie dot Yeah, the brand is Tussy. What's the price

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Speaker 1: point on that A day? Well, they're on sale right

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Speaker 1: now that the SPA one that has that will heat

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Speaker 1: it um is on sale for one oh nine. They're

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Speaker 1: not ship They're not shipping until Wow, they must be

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Speaker 1: in high demand. There's a couple of companies that, through

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Speaker 1: this UM isolation, I really feel are just the coronavirus stuff.

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Speaker 1: In general, it's like these random companies are probably doing

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Speaker 1: the best business that they've ever done. For example, zoom

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Speaker 1: what you're using exactly zoom any sort of hand sanitizer,

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Speaker 1: toilet paper, but todays all of it wipes are going

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Speaker 1: to be like huge the new toilet paper for sure,

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Speaker 1: they really are. Like if you're still using toilet paper,

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Speaker 1: I don't even know if we should be friends. Well,

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Speaker 1: toilet paper is so pre COVID, so pre COVID. It's

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Speaker 1: at BC before COVID before. I think we're going to

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Speaker 1: find that. There's a lot of things in life that

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Speaker 1: are BC and and a C. Really what else do

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Speaker 1: you think? I don't know, like the need for real

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Speaker 1: meetings and ship like that. Oh yeah, I'm never going

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Speaker 1: to a meeting again. Only zooms for me. Yeah, you know.

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Speaker 1: And if worse comes to worse with this toilet paper situation,

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Speaker 1: or you can't get it a a day in time, there's

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Speaker 1: always a shower. It's actually disgusting though, I mean, in fact,

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Speaker 1: I haven't showered today, so it's an excuse to shower. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I don't remember the last time I showered, so touche. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna wash my hair while I'm at it. Oh wow,

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Speaker 1: I should probably do that too. Well. I wish people

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Speaker 1: would stop freaking out about toilet paper. There are alternatives.

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Speaker 1: I'm really glad that we're actually just accepting the facts

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Speaker 1: that everyone poops. Everybody poops, even the prettiest person on

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Speaker 1: your street. Oh wow, even the beauty queens just like me.

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Speaker 1: Right now, I'm really glad I already have a boyfriend

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Speaker 1: or really bad for my dating life thing. It's so

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Speaker 1: fucked up, though, because girls are not supposed to talk

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Speaker 1: about on it and guys just go around parting all

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Speaker 1: the time. Right there, let's level the playing field. Girls

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Speaker 1: start farting. Everybody farts to next week on act casual.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, we're getting off into some really awkward tangents.

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Speaker 1: So I think this is just one more reminder to

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Speaker 1: casual by guys