1 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:20,159 Speaker 1: Hey there, folks, this is I Do Part two. You 2 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: got in love right the first time around, you need 3 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:24,160 Speaker 1: to go ahead and get out of this podcast because 4 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 1: it ain't the one for you. This is for folks 5 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: who didn't get loved right the first time and maybe 6 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: gave it a second, to third, or even fourth to try. 7 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,400 Speaker 1: Including mister Gary Turner. Yeah, you know him as the 8 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:37,279 Speaker 1: Golden Bachelorette. But he has a new book out and 9 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: we had a great conversation with him about the new book. 10 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: It's called Golden Years What I've Learned from Love, Loss 11 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:45,639 Speaker 1: and Reality TV. We're going to pick it up now 12 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: with part two of our conversation with the Golden Bachelor. 13 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,839 Speaker 2: May I ask how long your marriage was to your 14 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 2: late wife? 15 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 3: Forty three years? 16 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 2: That's what I thought you said, forty three I wanted 17 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 2: to make sure that that is remarkable. Do you think 18 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 2: the experience you had? And of course there's no such 19 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 2: thing as a perfect marriage, but it sounds like it 20 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 2: was a loving marriage. It was a beautiful marriage. How 21 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 2: much of that helped you make the decision you needed 22 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 2: to make a to divorce Theresa and b to propose 23 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:14,680 Speaker 2: to Lanta. 24 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 3: Well, that's a there's a lot to process. 25 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,400 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, but I'm just curious the influence and the 26 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 2: impact your first marriage had on all of those decisions 27 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 2: in the perspective it gave you. 28 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,760 Speaker 3: Well, I think forty three years number one proves that 29 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 3: I'm trainable more than anything else. But when you you know, 30 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:35,279 Speaker 3: you marry your childhood sweetheart and you grow up together 31 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 3: and you grow these values and all that, you know 32 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 3: what's important. You know what it takes to have a 33 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 3: successful marriage. You know that there's going to be tough times. 34 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 3: I mean it's just a given. No matter how much 35 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 3: effort you put into it and how perfect you think 36 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 3: things are, there's going to be tough times. So yeah, 37 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 3: the lessons out of a forty three year marriage are 38 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 3: definitely applicable to my situation with Teresa. The things that 39 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 3: I found rewarding and fulfilling in that long term marriage 40 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 3: weren't there. And recognizing that, you know, I tried to 41 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,600 Speaker 3: verbalize that, you know, Teresa, we need to develop some 42 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 3: shared experiences, We need to develop memories together, things that block, 43 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,919 Speaker 3: you know, building blocks that we grow with, and those 44 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 3: things just became impossible. I mean, in our duration of marriage, 45 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 3: we were together, like I don't know, thirteen days or 46 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,240 Speaker 3: something like that. You know, I went to Jersey for 47 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 3: five days and she came to Indiana for four and 48 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 3: then there was a two days after the wedding and 49 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 3: that was it. You can't build a relationship that way. 50 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 3: It's it's simply not possible. 51 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,000 Speaker 2: You write about the fact that when you did come 52 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 2: to see Teresa, she made you sleep on the couch. 53 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's an embarrassing moment for me, and I'm 54 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,080 Speaker 4: sure sure you know it's probably doesn't make her feel 55 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:03,919 Speaker 4: real good either. 56 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 5: But yeah, that's where you were. 57 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm old and I'm mature 58 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,320 Speaker 3: enough to realize that a honeymoon at the age of 59 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 3: seventy something is different than twenty something. But by the 60 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 3: same token, you know, I've mentioned the need that I 61 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 3: have for intimacy and sharing. That's not just physical intimacy. 62 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 3: There are so many levels of that, some of which 63 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,359 Speaker 3: I've learned to be better at, even more recently. But 64 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 3: when I get there and it's like time to, you know, 65 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 3: make the bed and plan our day tomorrow, and she 66 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 3: pulls out the sheets and throws them on the sofa 67 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 3: and says, you know, I have a long work day tomorrow. 68 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 3: I think it'd be better if you slept out here 69 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 3: on the sofa. Okay, I would be understood. You're cracking up. 70 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:55,000 Speaker 1: You'd only known each other thirteen days. I mean, I'm 71 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: trying to find a way to make sense of what 72 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: she was suggesting. That's what I'm doing. 73 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 3: I think the bigger question is this the first night. 74 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 3: Had that been a legitimate thing? Okay, I got a 75 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 3: big day tomorrow, I got a lot of important work 76 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 3: to I tell you. Okay, that's a that's a concession 77 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 3: I make. But when it was the next night, and 78 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 3: the next night and the next night, that's what got me. 79 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:26,160 Speaker 1: It's like it was a busy work week for her. 80 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:32,080 Speaker 2: Can I ask you this without seeming to just overt 81 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 2: I guess. 82 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: But do you do. 83 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,479 Speaker 2: You regret marrying Teresa? 84 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 3: I do, and and you know I I regret all 85 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:48,479 Speaker 3: the pain and agony to the people that surround me 86 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 3: as much as to her and her kids. You know, 87 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 3: it was a tumultuous time for everyone involved. And yeah, 88 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 3: I should have been smarter and she should have been smarter. 89 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 3: But yeah, if I had it to do over, I wouldn't 90 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 3: do it, absolutely not. 91 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: But if you had done it, differently, she might not 92 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 1: be sitting in the room with us right now, right exactly. 93 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: So it all works out exactly the way of supposed 94 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: to do, did it not? How has it been on 95 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: this tour? And again I invited your fiance into the 96 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 1: room here. I said, no, I don't sit out here, 97 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: come hang with us. She said, oh, I just want 98 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 1: to stay out of the way. But then we sit 99 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 1: here and we're talking about your past relationships. We're talking 100 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 1: about what I mean. I know she saw you on 101 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: TV and she know how it all went down. But 102 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: you're in the midst of this media tour with the 103 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:41,040 Speaker 1: book to where you are having to repeatedly talk about it. 104 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: Is it difficult? 105 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 3: Awkward? 106 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 1: How has it been having to have public conversations about 107 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: your past relationships with your love seeing being very close by. 108 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:54,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a good question. Early on in the relationship, 109 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 3: we're probably sixty days into it, maybe a little bit more. 110 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 3: I sent Landa the transcript and I said, listen, you 111 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 3: need to know what's going to be in this book. 112 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 3: You saw what was on the show. I don't want 113 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,719 Speaker 3: you to be caught off guard with something. 114 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: She read it. 115 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,040 Speaker 3: I remember a couple of days of silence, look at 116 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 3: her face, figure on her and she she came back 117 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 3: and she and you know, so, I'm I'm on needles 118 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 3: and pins because I knew early on this was the 119 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,919 Speaker 3: woman for me. And I said, so, what do you think? 120 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:34,280 Speaker 3: And in her most diplomatic way, she goes, well, I 121 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 3: needed a little time to process some of this stuff. 122 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 5: What do you think? Or did she tell you what 123 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 5: the hardest part for her was? 124 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:48,040 Speaker 3: No, but my indicators are the things that she's asked 125 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 3: follow up questions about. So yeah, that was that was 126 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 3: the That was the spot for me. I go, oh, 127 00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 3: we need to talk about this a little bit more, 128 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,480 Speaker 3: or that a little bit more. 129 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 2: Did you have anyone else who was a part of 130 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 2: the Golden Bachelor, including Theresa herself? Did you give anyone 131 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 2: else any advanced copy or any opportunity to weigh in 132 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 2: on what you had written? 133 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 1: No? 134 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 3: I didn't. The only other person that saw the manuscript 135 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 3: was my two daughters, and I would ask them, am 136 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 3: I too harsh? Here? You know? I do I appear insensitive? 137 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 3: I wanted to be honest. I wanted to be forthright, 138 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 3: but I didn't want to be cruel. I didn't want 139 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 3: to you know, so yeah. They twice. They sent it back. 140 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 3: They said, yeah, yeah, you need to tone this down, 141 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 3: and you need to tone that down. 142 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 2: And os mid Westerners tend to be were nice, but 143 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 2: we tend to be unvarnished in the sense that we 144 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 2: don't sugarcoat a lot. Sometimes I have noticed that as 145 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 2: part of we're nice, but we're honest to a fault sometimes. 146 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's probably pretty well said. 147 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 1: You know, what were the areas that you wanted your 148 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 1: daughters to you know, I check this part. Let me 149 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:19,440 Speaker 1: know if I was too harsh. What were some of 150 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 1: those sections that you thought were a little much. 151 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 3: Well, all right, I'll answer that in general terms. All right, 152 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 3: there were areas where I talked about some of the 153 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 3: problems disagreements that I had with Teresa, her perspective on 154 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:41,959 Speaker 3: those things and my perspective on those things. And they said, 155 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 3: h you've gone over the line here. You need to 156 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:50,439 Speaker 3: tone that back. And I trusted my daughters because they 157 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 3: had seen every minute of the show and the aftermath 158 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,319 Speaker 3: and all of it play out. I mean, they were 159 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 3: first person players in it, and so consequently and the 160 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 3: two of them with two different perspectives, this is the 161 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 3: perfect spot. And they gave me good advice. They gave 162 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 3: me good advice. 163 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 5: That's amazing. Daughters will do that. And how old are 164 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 5: your girls now? I'm not you can give a decade 165 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,560 Speaker 5: like decade. 166 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 3: But they're older in forty three, fifty. 167 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's amazing. That is so hard to believe 168 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 2: that you have thought, but that's remarkable. What did they 169 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 2: think of your time on the Golden Bachelor? Did they 170 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,680 Speaker 2: enjoy it? Were they were? 171 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 4: They? 172 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 2: Was it hard for them to deal with watching their 173 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 2: dad in that position? 174 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,320 Speaker 3: They were over the moon happy about it. They were thrilled. 175 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 3: They did repeatedly say Dad, we hated it at every 176 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 3: Rose ceremony when you felt the separation coming and the 177 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 3: rejection what I thought was rejection of friends. So they 178 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,560 Speaker 3: were very empathetic about that part. But man, I mean 179 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 3: they had a ball with this whole process. They were 180 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 3: in it one hundred percent. 181 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:08,199 Speaker 5: Very cool. 182 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 2: All right, So how about wedding plans? Do you all 183 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 2: have any? What are what are the next steps? 184 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, we need to get to that. We haven't gotten 185 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 3: there yet. Quite honestly, being engaged is like way fun. 186 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,679 Speaker 5: Beyonce is fun, right, Yeah. 187 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 3: I was really thrilled about you know, the proposal and 188 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 3: putting it out there that hey, we're officially a couple, 189 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 3: but that basking in that has really overridden and some 190 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 3: of the practical things of life, you know, traveling and 191 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 3: so forth. So we haven't really gotten to the point 192 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 3: where we've talked about it yet. 193 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:53,079 Speaker 1: How about this, Why you all could be together, continue 194 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 1: to be together the rest of your lives. You know 195 00:10:55,200 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 1: each other eight nine months? Why make the decision to pose? 196 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 1: Help people get insight into that you didn't have to 197 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 1: do it this fast, You didn't have to do it 198 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 1: at all, really and still be committed to each other. 199 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: Why was it important? And I'm really curious about your 200 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:15,559 Speaker 1: answer here, Why did you want to get married again? 201 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 3: So number one, when I was one hundred percent certain 202 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 3: that she was the right person, I was at ease 203 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 3: at making that decision. So that was the first threshold 204 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 3: to get past. Number two. I really wanted to puff 205 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 3: my chest out and show the world that I had 206 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 3: the best thing I could possibly have. It was a 207 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:47,719 Speaker 3: pride thing, not an avarice thing. I was. I am 208 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,840 Speaker 3: so proud of her sitting here. She makes me a 209 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 3: better person, And that was one of the most difficult 210 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 3: things on my checklist when I was looking for a 211 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 3: partner making me a better person, and she does. 212 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,120 Speaker 1: What are the other things? What was it cooking? What 213 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 1: was the thing that came up? There were food issues. 214 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 5: Here, food issues with Theresa. 215 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,560 Speaker 1: I'm not comparing your the two, but there were some 216 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: issues that you spoke of and it it got our 217 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,680 Speaker 1: attention because it had to do with us. She doesn't 218 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,360 Speaker 1: eat carbs, right, we're keto by the way. 219 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 5: Well, at least we are together that we can annoy 220 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 5: one another. 221 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: Strange, we annoy other people with our collective diets. 222 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,720 Speaker 2: But it is important that you can have a dinner 223 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,080 Speaker 2: with somebody, make dinner together and have it work. 224 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:38,319 Speaker 3: Yes, and so a good example is she will knock 225 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 3: me over to get to dessert first. Both love dessert. 226 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,080 Speaker 3: It's like we don't have very many restrictions and that's 227 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 3: probably not the most healthy, but it is joyful. Yes, yeah, 228 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 3: and you know she yanked sugar out of my hand 229 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 3: because the doctor said, you know, that's something I need 230 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 3: to cut back on. But we pick and choose what 231 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 3: we want to enjoy. Last night we had we split 232 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 3: a terra masou rather than each of us having one 233 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,199 Speaker 3: or more. So you know, we've really learned to cut back, 234 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 3: but the joy of all of life is pretty great. 235 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 2: You right in your book that you felt empty when 236 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:20,760 Speaker 2: you were proposing to Teresa. What did you feel like 237 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 2: when you were proposing to Lana? 238 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 3: Overjoyed? You know, the the energy in my chest was 239 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 3: just about to burst, and it was I don't know. 240 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 3: I mean, there's a lot of little side stories with it. 241 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 3: Lenna and I have started this alter ego thing where 242 00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:41,480 Speaker 3: she's Darlene and I'm Randy and we give each other, 243 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 3: you know, fuck, I'll say, damn it. 244 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:48,080 Speaker 1: Darlene, Why Darlene and Randy? Who did you come up 245 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: with that? 246 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 6: You know, there's sort of stereotypical Arkansas names. 247 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 3: So when I proposed, we were in Asheville. I've never 248 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 3: told this story, but it's freaking hilarious. It'd be funnier 249 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 3: if you were actually there. But it's missing. We pull 250 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,320 Speaker 3: into the hotel and it's misty, and we get our 251 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 3: luggage in. She goes, oh, I forgot my jacket. Will 252 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,559 Speaker 3: you go out and get my jacket. I go out 253 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 3: and get the jacket. I come back in. There's some 254 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 3: highway workers walking by the lobby, and I go. 255 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 6: Damn it Darlene, and she goes and don't start with me, Randy, 256 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 6: and the guy that was on the highway crew looked 257 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 6: and he laughed. 258 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 3: His ass off all the way down the hall. It 259 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 3: was hilarious. So this joy, this fun, all this energy 260 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 3: goes up to the hotel room and that's where I 261 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 3: proposed to her. I mean, it wasn't probably as glamorous 262 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 3: as as many proposals could be, but I did a 263 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 3: little magic trick, a little sleight of hand and revealed 264 00:14:52,720 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 3: the ring and we had a frigging ball. 265 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 2: We've heard this from so many people who are experts 266 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,080 Speaker 2: in relationships. If you can have fun with each other, 267 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 2: have fun, even at each other's expense, tease joke like 268 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 2: that is the sign of actual real compatibility, companionship something 269 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 2: that relationships that can last are built on fun. 270 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,840 Speaker 3: It is. It absolutely is. One of the characteristics that 271 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:30,320 Speaker 3: I think we both enjoy is slightly giving the other 272 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 3: person a little grief about something, you know, a little 273 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 3: bit making fun of them. 274 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:34,600 Speaker 6: We do. 275 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 3: But yeah, when you can both laugh at it, that's 276 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 3: the joy that sounds. 277 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 1: Like friendship to me. And this is something we were 278 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 1: friends for eight years before we ever started dating. And 279 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 1: we always say you have to have a foundation of friendship. 280 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: Every issue you ever had with Teresa, if you all 281 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:56,440 Speaker 1: had years of friendship already established, she would know you're 282 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 1: eating habits, you would know hers, and you're nobody. That 283 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: would be a compromise, right. It's a different feel and dynamic, 284 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 1: and it sounds like eight or nine months. Where are 285 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 1: you all? You and Lanta on friendship right now? How 286 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 1: do you where? Would you say that is? 287 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:15,440 Speaker 3: I think we say you're my best buddy, you're my 288 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 3: best buddy, and in the mornings we say every day 289 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 3: because we have to choose each other every day. So 290 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 3: the friendship part, I think has been very natural, coming, 291 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:37,080 Speaker 3: very easy. Some of the levels of things that we do, revelations. Oddly, 292 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,760 Speaker 3: I've never been embarrassed in front of her, and I 293 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 3: don't think she's been embarrassed in front of me at anything. 294 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 3: And we sort of joke about some of our friends 295 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:53,560 Speaker 3: and their level of things they do. It's it's just fun, 296 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 3: but that's what friends do. 297 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, it's so true. 298 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 2: I love the fact that for every one listening, you know, 299 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 2: I think everyone wherever they are in their life, thinks, 300 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,440 Speaker 2: oh I'm too old. I won't be able to do 301 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 2: this again. I won't be able to find that again 302 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 2: and to see your joy and to see all the 303 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,920 Speaker 2: things you have to look forward to at seventy four. 304 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 2: It's truly, it's it's inspirational and it's infectious, and it 305 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 2: just it's a reminder to people that it's never too late, 306 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,200 Speaker 2: and you're an example of that, and I just love 307 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 2: it's so it is so contagious being in the. 308 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:30,199 Speaker 5: Room with you right now. 309 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 3: Oh, thanks, because it is never too late. You just 310 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 3: it's work. You have to put in the effort, you 311 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 3: have to do all the things that put you in 312 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,920 Speaker 3: the right situations to find people and all of that. 313 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 3: But it's rewarding. You know. I think we're designed to 314 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 3: be a couple, you know, I don't think we're supposed 315 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:53,640 Speaker 3: to be by ourselves. So when you find the right person, man, 316 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 3: it is so easy though, it is so fun. 317 00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 1: Yes, Darlen is a good one. 318 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:02,119 Speaker 3: Darlen is a damn that I loved darling. 319 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 1: Oh, that good old Arlene, I'll tell you, even with 320 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 1: all her problems, you know, what do you have? You 321 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,600 Speaker 1: know what I hate to I'm not gonna end on 322 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:14,120 Speaker 1: him on a red flag note, well, let me ask, 323 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,639 Speaker 1: because it almost it sounds like incense and candles right 324 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 1: now to everybody. But I'm sure you've had a moment 325 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 1: at least after proposal, getting ready to propose, or maybe 326 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,800 Speaker 1: somebody was in your ear when you had a beat. 327 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:28,400 Speaker 1: So maybe I shouldn't because of blank? Was there ever 328 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,040 Speaker 1: a blank? Well, because she lives here, I do this 329 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 1: and she likes this, or or our families are that. 330 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: Was there any little bit of a maybe I. 331 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:41,120 Speaker 3: Shouldn't because blank? What would the reason have been if 332 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 3: they're in If there was, I don't remember it gotcha. 333 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:50,160 Speaker 3: You know, the the backgrounds that we had of being 334 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 3: in the Midwest, and you know she grew up close 335 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 3: to where I lived, and the family characteristics that we 336 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,400 Speaker 3: both share and all those things. I just I really 337 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 3: don't remember any of those times when I had to 338 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,160 Speaker 3: check up and go ooh, Do I need to think 339 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:10,639 Speaker 3: about this a little bit more than I am. There wasn't. 340 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,000 Speaker 3: I haven't had that moment. 341 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,159 Speaker 5: It's so interesting. I'm curious. 342 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,880 Speaker 2: Do you think that, having had the I don't want 343 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,159 Speaker 2: to put words in your mouth that it was a 344 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,639 Speaker 2: bad experience, but it sounds like it wasn't a positive 345 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,800 Speaker 2: experience your relationship with Teresa. Do you think that that 346 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:30,239 Speaker 2: created more of a like you trusted how good it 347 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 2: was with Lanna because you had just recognized or experienced 348 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 2: how bad it could get or how bad it could 349 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 2: be with someone else. 350 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 3: So yeah, I would more say it like this, your 351 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:45,439 Speaker 3: radar is way up. You're really you're guarding yourself a 352 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 3: little bit. You're going, Okay, the next person that I 353 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,879 Speaker 3: think is a possibility for a life partner has to 354 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 3: be a little bit better than just maybe what my 355 00:19:54,680 --> 00:20:00,440 Speaker 3: threshold was six months ago. And yeah, so she blew 356 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 3: their way, She blew. 357 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 5: The roof off a bit. 358 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:07,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, a couple of people saw it ahead of time. 359 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,720 Speaker 1: Last thing for me about the book, and certainly the 360 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,640 Speaker 1: last thing I'm mentioning Teresa. Did she see the book 361 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,840 Speaker 1: ahead of time? No, talk to her ahead of time? 362 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:17,240 Speaker 3: She sent me a text wanted to know what was 363 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 3: in the book that I had written about her, and 364 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:20,840 Speaker 3: I kind of dodged that. 365 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,000 Speaker 1: Okay, a book written about her, it's not. She's in 366 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: there a lot, but we couldn't classify this as the 367 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,239 Speaker 1: book about just that marriage about her. 368 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,119 Speaker 3: I mean, you know, the story starts back when you 369 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,960 Speaker 3: know I was in high school, and it tell us 370 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 3: about how I proposed to Tony, you know, my very 371 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:40,400 Speaker 3: first wife of forty three years, and about my kids 372 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,639 Speaker 3: in the life we had together, and and on and on. 373 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 3: I mean, it's I don't want to call it a memoir. 374 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,119 Speaker 3: I don't want to, you know, I'd like to think 375 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:49,199 Speaker 3: there's no label for it. 376 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the biggest takeaway you'd like people to leave 377 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 2: with after they read your book? What do you want 378 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 2: them to leave with? 379 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 3: There's a story towards the end of the book and 380 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 3: I'm not going to talk about it here. I want 381 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 3: people to actually read it and see the build up. 382 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 3: But I think the lesson to be learned is that 383 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,120 Speaker 3: no matter what life throws at you, that you can 384 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 3: come out on top if you keep positive. If you 385 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,440 Speaker 3: let yourself get down on a long term basis, yeah, 386 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 3: you're going to become a couch potato. You're done. You're 387 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,080 Speaker 3: not going to have value to bring to a community. 388 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 3: And if you bring that value and you keep yourself 389 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:37,399 Speaker 3: positive and alert and alive, and and you're the person 390 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,920 Speaker 3: that you want to hang out with, you're going to 391 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 3: be fine. 392 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,119 Speaker 2: I love that you're the person you want to hang 393 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 2: out with That's that's something I think we skip over 394 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 2: sometimes we don't recognize what I want to be friends 395 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:50,879 Speaker 2: with me. 396 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,560 Speaker 1: That sounds like something me and my ego sit up 397 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 1: and do all the time. 398 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 3: Like. 399 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:00,680 Speaker 1: I'm the coolest and I know. 400 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:07,679 Speaker 2: Gary, Gary Turner, it was so lovely to actually get 401 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 2: down personal with you and speak with you and not 402 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,440 Speaker 2: just have you be the person who's the golden Bachelor, 403 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,800 Speaker 2: and so much was written, so much was said. We 404 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,919 Speaker 2: so recognize what that feels like, and so thank you 405 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,600 Speaker 2: for being willing to set the record straight, tell your 406 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:27,119 Speaker 2: side of things, on your terms with your book. 407 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,920 Speaker 5: That is that is the way to set the record straight. 408 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, it is, And we do want everybody 409 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 1: to know that the book is out now. You can 410 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 1: get it everywhere that books are sold. It is Golden 411 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,119 Speaker 1: Years what I've learned from Love Loss and reality TV. 412 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: We want to say thank you, Gary, but also Lana. 413 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:46,640 Speaker 1: She does not have a microphone in front of her. However, 414 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,200 Speaker 1: she has been sitting in this room the entire time 415 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,639 Speaker 1: and giving us very good feedback. We can tell if 416 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,679 Speaker 1: we're on the right track with our conversation based on 417 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:58,359 Speaker 1: her expressions. So I took the conversation a different direction 418 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: when she frowned a little bit, Yeah, she did not 419 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:02,719 Speaker 1: at all. I'm teasing, folks. 420 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 2: So thank you Gary, and we wish you the best 421 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,920 Speaker 2: of luck and so excited I want to hear all about. 422 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 5: The wedding when you do have those details. 423 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 3: Thank you. You guys were a joy to talk to 424 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,280 Speaker 3: you this morning. This is awesome. 425 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,760 Speaker 1: It had everything to do with you. I'm not kidding. 426 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 1: We did not get that that world that we were 427 00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,919 Speaker 1: up very late last night. I did not get a 428 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,679 Speaker 1: lot of sleep. You change the day. I am not kidding. 429 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 1: The two of you have changed our day. This is enlightning. 430 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 1: So really, thank you both for being here and we 431 00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:30,760 Speaker 1: will follow you and see you soon. 432 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 3: All right, brother, thank you. 433 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 5: Thanks, all right everyone. Gary's book Golden Years is out now. 434 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 2: And if you are listening and you're thinking, hey, I 435 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,760 Speaker 2: need some advice when it comes to my love life, 436 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,040 Speaker 2: well then you can call us or you can email us. 437 00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 5: All the info is in the show notes. 438 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,000 Speaker 2: We are here to help follow us on socials and 439 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 2: make sure to rate and review the podcast. I Do 440 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 2: Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is 441 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 2: the main objective.