1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,920 Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on time. We gotta put you here. 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:06,240 Speaker 1: It in the Strawberry LA. Thank you, Tommy bad Steve 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: subject forty seven years old and never been tested. Good morning, 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I am here in Vegas alone and there 5 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: is something weighing on my heart. So I decided to 6 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: write in. I've been talking to a man for about 7 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:24,600 Speaker 1: a month. I really like this guy, and we connected immediately. 8 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: I am fifty three and he is forty seven. The 9 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 1: getting to know us phase has turned up some issues, 10 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: but since they won't harm or hurt me, I can compromise. 11 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 1: The thing that brought us to a halt is his 12 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:43,240 Speaker 1: refusal to be tested for HIV. He says he never 13 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: has and never will. How are some of us still 14 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: stuck on stupid and afraid of being tested? Really? I 15 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: have tried everything to help him see that this is 16 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 1: something he should do for himself. We're in Georgia, and 17 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: I don't know if it makes a difference, being in 18 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: the Bible belt and all, but it breaks my heart 19 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:07,960 Speaker 1: because this is a deal breaker for me. Do you 20 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: think there is anything I can do to urge him 21 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 1: to get tested? Thanks in advance for any advice, even 22 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: though it's only been a month, it is painful pulling 23 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 1: away from him, real painful. I think this is a 24 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 1: lot after only a month. Uh so much other stuff, um, 25 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,640 Speaker 1: you know, to talk about after only a month of dating. 26 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: But since we're talking about it, I'll say this to you. 27 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 1: Sorry that you should have to, but you can get 28 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:39,759 Speaker 1: over the pain. You say. It's going to be really 29 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: painful pulling away from him. Time. It takes time, and 30 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,119 Speaker 1: time will heal all those wounds? And because since this 31 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: is a deal breaker for you, this relationship after only 32 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,240 Speaker 1: a month is apparently has apparently run its course, I 33 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: would say again, I still think it's a bit early 34 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: for all of this. But UM, if you've asked him, 35 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: if you've told him how important it is to you, 36 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: how it would make you feel if he did it, 37 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: If you've made it a requirement, as Steve so often says, 38 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: and he still refuses to get tested, then stick to 39 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: your guns. Um. You have every right to want what 40 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: you want, um and get it. Um. You like him, 41 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,800 Speaker 1: But if he's uncompromising. You've mentioned in your letter that 42 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,639 Speaker 1: you've compromised on some things that won't harm or hurt you, 43 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: and he's uncompromising on this. If he won't take an 44 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: HIV test, uh, something that will make you happy and 45 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: secure about his health, then you have to be with 46 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,079 Speaker 1: someone who will. To me, it's just that simple. Again, 47 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: I'll say this. I still think it's a bit early 48 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,200 Speaker 1: to even have that discussion. Uh, not that you shouldn't 49 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: have it, but I think it's a little early, Steve, Okay, 50 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: charl I'm sorry I have to disagree with you one 51 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,959 Speaker 1: per cent on this. I don't think it's too early 52 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: at all. I think this is a very important conversation. 53 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 1: I think they have to have this conversation now. It's 54 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,359 Speaker 1: been thirty days. She's really liking this guy, and this 55 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,920 Speaker 1: is obviously trying to goodin made a move in another direction. 56 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: This is a real simple conversation. This ain't a conversation 57 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: about marriage or none, which they should be having that 58 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: conversation too. Because you're fifty three years old, he's forty seven. 59 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: You ain't got time for no games. Do you would 60 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: look for us to move forward? Are you willing to 61 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: get tested? Now? Never? Have? Never will? That's ignorance at 62 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:27,639 Speaker 1: its highest level. This is about education, This is about 63 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 1: knowing your status. This is about staying healthy. Staying alive. 64 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: This is about your life. This is about the risk 65 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:39,119 Speaker 1: and safety of everyone involved other than yourself. What you're 66 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: meeting now is a man who doesn't care what you 67 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 1: think or want, and it's only concerned about his own self. 68 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: I never have, I never will. That's an amazing statement 69 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: for anybody to make. And God bless you for having 70 00:03:55,080 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: this conversation so early, because this conversation is needed by more. 71 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 1: Are people before they have sex, then to wait until 72 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: after they have sex, And that's the problem in a 73 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: lot of communities. We don't want to talk about it. 74 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 1: We don't want to know. Well. I own the hand, 75 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: on the other hand, would love to know if there 76 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 1: was something wrong with me so I could address the issues. 77 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: If you've met a man who doesn't want to know 78 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: what's wrong with him, then he doesn't care about what's 79 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:31,039 Speaker 1: wrong with you, very good, Very good, And I'll be 80 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 1: and the fronty bone is in there. I'm not saying 81 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,360 Speaker 1: that she should never have the discussion. I never said that. 82 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,359 Speaker 1: I just think you know, it's a little earlier you 83 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 1: have ninety days. Just my opinion, this is the conversation 84 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: that they have to have now. This is about HIV testing, absolutely. 85 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: I agree with you, just you don't want to have 86 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: a conversation at you. It's thirty. You got another thirty, 87 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,279 Speaker 1: You got another thirty. You can you can mix it 88 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: in there. We gotta go, all right, Steve, come on 89 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:06,599 Speaker 1: with part two of your response to today's Strawberry letter. 90 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: What you got forty seven years old and never been tested? Steve, 91 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: this fifty three year old woman meant this wonderful man 92 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: who's forty seven. Uh, you know, they've getting to know 93 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 1: each other. Turned up a couple of issues. But the 94 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 1: thing that brought him to a halt is his refusal 95 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: to be tested for HIV. He says he never has 96 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 1: and he never will. Uh. The ladies really stuck on 97 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,040 Speaker 1: this because she's going, how in two thousand twelve are 98 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,320 Speaker 1: we still stuck on stupid and afraid of being tested? Really? 99 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,600 Speaker 1: I've tried to get him to see this, uh what 100 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,280 Speaker 1: she says. We're in Georgia, and I don't know if 101 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:44,160 Speaker 1: that makes a difference being in the Bible Belt at all. No, No, 102 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: ignorance is everywhere. Ignorance is up north out west. No, 103 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with the Bible Belt. It's 104 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 1: just some people are just like you say, stuck on stupid. 105 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 1: Do you think there's anything I can do to urge 106 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: him to get tested? Okay, here's all I can think of. 107 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: If you want to continue to see me, if you 108 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: want to ever be with me, then we have to 109 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 1: go get tested. Period. That's all it is to it. 110 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 1: There is no other way to get resolved in this matter. 111 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: And I want you to understand, ladies, that will work 112 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: in most cases if the man is really feeling you. Now, 113 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: after man ain't feeling you, he can't get tested, and 114 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: he don't get whether you stay or go. But if 115 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 1: he really wants you to stay, he gonna do everything 116 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 1: and it's power to prevent you from going. So even 117 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: though it's only been a month, it's painful pulling away 118 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 1: from him, real painful. I got that. I got that. 119 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,280 Speaker 1: But let me tell you what to hurt even more. 120 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 1: If you go to the doctor and the doctor tells 121 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 1: you you've now tested positive, I can assure you that 122 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 1: will hurt you far more than the pulling away part 123 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 1: from him. Right now, you cannot afford to play with 124 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 1: this issue. This is a serious issue. Take a swab. 125 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: Stop it, Tom, don't blame the stupidity. Ont now Steve, 126 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: we gotta go. You can email us or Instagram what's 127 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter at my Girl surely, 128 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 1: and please do not forget that this Thursday we will 129 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 1: be live with the Strawberry Letter Live after show on Facebook. 130 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 1: Okay on Facebook, meet me there, one thirty pm Eastern Time. Alright, 131 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 1: you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.