1
00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:05,600
Speaker 1: This is John, this is them Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

2
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:09,840
Speaker 1: and we have some good stories coming up for you.

3
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,000
Speaker 1: That's right. But before that, we have a little more

4
00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:13,800
Speaker 1: sol of a two minute ad break from the sponsors

5
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,360
Speaker 1: keeping the show delicious.

6
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,840
Speaker 2: My best friend accused her husband of having an affair

7
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:20,759
Speaker 2: with me.

8
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,720
Speaker 1: Oh, that doesn't sound like a best friend.

9
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,520
Speaker 2: And this actually comes straight from the r slash okay

10
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:33,320
Speaker 2: storytime Supreddit wo. I thirty six female, have been friends

11
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,000
Speaker 2: with Amy thirty six females since we were seventeen.

12
00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,160
Speaker 3: We have been very much like sisters with matching.

13
00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,600
Speaker 2: Tattoos, and although we are not as close as we

14
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,400
Speaker 2: were in college, I thought.

15
00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:44,440
Speaker 3: We still saw each other that way.

16
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,519
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Fabulous Soft twenty three

17
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,400
Speaker 2: oh six, and if you want to submit your own stories,

18
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,840
Speaker 2: go to the r slash okay storytime Supread it so now.

19
00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:55,840
Speaker 2: Both Amy and I have come from traumatic backgrounds and

20
00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,720
Speaker 2: it always drew us closer. We were definitely toxic af

21
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,840
Speaker 2: in our younger years. Both were crazy partiers back then

22
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,320
Speaker 2: and used to do stupid stuff together. When she got

23
00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:06,959
Speaker 2: her first serious boyfriend, he cheated with several of our

24
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,600
Speaker 2: friends and I got into it with him. Over how

25
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,639
Speaker 2: he treated her and how harmful he was. Now Amy

26
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,080
Speaker 2: herself was super toxic. She cheated back as revenge. She

27
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,679
Speaker 2: hit back, but generally speaking, her ex was worse, and

28
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,000
Speaker 2: they brought out the worst in one another. Amy and

29
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,440
Speaker 2: I have opposite tastes in men. Our crushes or love

30
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,919
Speaker 2: lives have never overlapped, and she finds everyone I like gross,

31
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,200
Speaker 2: and I find the same over hers, and in that

32
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,360
Speaker 2: it built more trust. When we were around twenty, one

33
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,120
Speaker 2: of our friends introduced us to a new guy, Smith, Yeah,

34
00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,319
Speaker 2: who's now at forty mail. Both Amy and I were

35
00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:41,800
Speaker 2: in relationships. Smith seemed to shoot a shot with me,

36
00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:44,039
Speaker 2: and for the next six years or so, messaged me

37
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,760
Speaker 2: constantly with openers and compliments and the occasional shot of

38
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:51,920
Speaker 2: his muscles or something. Sometimes I did talk conversational type stuff.

39
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,080
Speaker 2: I outright told him several times that I had no

40
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:59,240
Speaker 2: interest in him spicily or romantically, so whenever he got

41
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,320
Speaker 2: weird or flew, I would leave him on red to

42
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,880
Speaker 2: enforce that. But he was still in our social group

43
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,560
Speaker 2: and I stayed civil otherwise. All of our friends were

44
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,000
Speaker 2: aware that Smith would send these messages and joked about

45
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,600
Speaker 2: it being sort of sad and weird. When Amy and

46
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,919
Speaker 2: I were in our late twenties, she was divorced with kids.

47
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,320
Speaker 2: She ended up hooking up with Smith at a party.

48
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,720
Speaker 2: Our friends were a bit weirded out given his weird

49
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,800
Speaker 2: message thing, but she told us that he was just

50
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,959
Speaker 2: an f buddy and she needed a rebound. Fast forward

51
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,800
Speaker 2: several years later, Smith and Amy have been married for

52
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:28,320
Speaker 2: some time.

53
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:28,800
Speaker 1: Wow.

54
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,959
Speaker 2: I stood in their wedding, and truthfully, it was never

55
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,960
Speaker 2: a grand romantic love story. Days before their wedding, when

56
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,080
Speaker 2: I was doing wedding speech stuff with them, they had

57
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,720
Speaker 2: a cruel argument in front of me where they both

58
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,840
Speaker 2: put each other down. After Smith and Amy got married,

59
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,280
Speaker 2: my husband became good friends with Smith and started playing

60
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,959
Speaker 2: music together as a hobby. Amy and I were busy

61
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,320
Speaker 2: with life and kids, so we mostly stayed connected through

62
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:54,560
Speaker 2: socials or the occasional hangout after work, but we could

63
00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:58,280
Speaker 2: go weeks without chattings. Smith still did message randomly, but

64
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,840
Speaker 2: it was usually about my husband and him, or mental

65
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,560
Speaker 2: health stuff. My profession is in mental health and trauma rehab.

66
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,520
Speaker 2: Both Amy and I work in health and both work shifts.

67
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,240
Speaker 2: One night after work, about two ish years ago, my

68
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,440
Speaker 2: husband asked if I could drop by Smith's to pick

69
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,600
Speaker 2: up his music bag with his stuff in it that

70
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,320
Speaker 2: he needed for tomorrow. And it was late, like eleven

71
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,720
Speaker 2: thirty pmish. Smith was awake and had been texting that

72
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,720
Speaker 2: it was fine. I asked if Amy was home and

73
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,280
Speaker 2: he said yeah, but she's just off work and.

74
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:26,440
Speaker 3: Mad at Smith.

75
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,520
Speaker 2: I was starving, so I grabbed some Chinese takeout, Amy's

76
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,000
Speaker 2: favorite and brought it over to get the stuff. Amy

77
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,040
Speaker 2: must have just fallen asleep. When I came by with

78
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,480
Speaker 2: the treats. She gave me a big hug but said

79
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,440
Speaker 2: that her back was in pain. I gave her a

80
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,040
Speaker 2: back passage till she slept, and then went to the

81
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,360
Speaker 2: man cave to eat food with Smith before heading home.

82
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,880
Speaker 2: We had my husband on speakerphone as we ate and

83
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,720
Speaker 2: talked about the boys music. I left around oneish in

84
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,400
Speaker 2: the morning. Since then, my husband has gone over there

85
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,560
Speaker 2: every few weeks, depending on how busy work is, and

86
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,840
Speaker 2: played music and texts Smith regularly.

87
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,400
Speaker 3: I get hey, how are you for him?

88
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,720
Speaker 2: But I am not good at answering texts, so I

89
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,120
Speaker 2: mostly leave him on red. I have shown up a

90
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,040
Speaker 2: few times to their place to drop off Birthday and

91
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,680
Speaker 2: Christmas gifts or buy tickets for the kids stuff, but

92
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,200
Speaker 2: I haven't spent much time there. So yesterday I was

93
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:15,040
Speaker 2: celebrating my anniversary and my husband had a major project

94
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,880
Speaker 2: at work. Smith is messaging him a lot, saying that

95
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,599
Speaker 2: he really needs a friend right now.

96
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:20,760
Speaker 3: He's going through a lot.

97
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,200
Speaker 2: My husband feels horrible, but he's got a deadline. I

98
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,119
Speaker 2: offered to go hang out with Smith, as I'm friends

99
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,520
Speaker 2: with him too and have the mental health training, and

100
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,360
Speaker 2: he says, yeah, please, that would be great.

101
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,719
Speaker 1: Stop see stopping?

102
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,960
Speaker 4: How do we not we see where this is going?

103
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,479
Speaker 1: I guess on paper it's way easier to see this

104
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,840
Speaker 1: with all the context written out. Yeah, but in the moment,

105
00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:47,920
Speaker 1: maybe you're like, Okay, Smith is reset himself. Yeah, he's right,

106
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,719
Speaker 1: he's married to Hey, he's got to be reset.

107
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,400
Speaker 3: He hasn't said any of those weird things in a

108
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:53,120
Speaker 3: long time.

109
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:58,880
Speaker 1: But he said he sent them to you for six years, yeah,

110
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:02,080
Speaker 1: straight with out any like, and you were like, hey,

111
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm not interested in you, and he kept sending it right.

112
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,560
Speaker 2: Smith's grandfather passed away a few weeks ago, and I

113
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,320
Speaker 2: figured that it was something like that. When I met Smith,

114
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:16,440
Speaker 2: he is looking bad, smelling bad, just the picture of struggling.

115
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,960
Speaker 2: I take him out and get him talking and fed.

116
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,760
Speaker 2: He tells me Amy left him, Okay, talk to me

117
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,160
Speaker 2: about that and how you feel about it. He outlines

118
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:28,520
Speaker 2: all the things that are not good from my perspective.

119
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:29,599
Speaker 1: They've truly never.

120
00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,039
Speaker 2: Had a good, loving relationship, but I keep that to myself.

121
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,960
Speaker 2: He talks about how she disappeared and took the vehicle

122
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,560
Speaker 2: and bank guards to leave him stranded. But maybe you know,

123
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,680
Speaker 2: there is hope. He tells me she's living with another friend,

124
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,680
Speaker 2: one I don't know from work, because she's done. I

125
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,200
Speaker 2: try and validate his feelings, asking open ended questions to

126
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,400
Speaker 2: tease out what he needs and wants to move forward

127
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,960
Speaker 2: with either the marriage or divorce.

128
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,560
Speaker 3: Smith drops the bomb on me.

129
00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:58,360
Speaker 2: Amy told him when she was leaving that she believes

130
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:02,400
Speaker 2: that Smith and I were here being spicy the night

131
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:06,000
Speaker 2: that I brought over takeout, you know, over two years ago,

132
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,479
Speaker 2: and she said that she knows that she has no

133
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,800
Speaker 2: interest because she truly didn't care then and she doesn't

134
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,360
Speaker 2: care now. He claims that she referred to me as

135
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:19,320
Speaker 2: a salute and in an oar during this accusation, afterwards,

136
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,320
Speaker 2: saying that she's done with him and she wants him gone.

137
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,560
Speaker 2: I pushed aside the offense to it. Smith said that

138
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,880
Speaker 2: he felt bad for me because it's pretty low opinion

139
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,560
Speaker 2: to have of me. But I stopped him and said

140
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,039
Speaker 2: that although I'm offended, it didn't happen, and so I

141
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,400
Speaker 2: don't feel that defensive about her saying it. We've had

142
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,520
Speaker 2: friends sleep with her exits, so I kind of get

143
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:37,080
Speaker 2: the concern.

144
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,080
Speaker 3: But that sucks, and I can't believe that she didn't

145
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:39,600
Speaker 3: tell me this.

146
00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,039
Speaker 2: I have seen her several times since bringing food and

147
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,159
Speaker 2: she never mentioned anything at all about it. Also, she's

148
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,960
Speaker 2: the type of person to be extremely confrontational, so it

149
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,120
Speaker 2: isn't like her to not say something if she really

150
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:51,680
Speaker 2: believed it.

151
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:52,760
Speaker 3: Smith also dropped the.

152
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,360
Speaker 2: Bomb that about ten years ago, Amy called in false

153
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,200
Speaker 2: workplace pesterman claims on my ex that led to him

154
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,479
Speaker 2: getting terminated and screwing me and him financially for a

155
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,920
Speaker 2: long time, and the reason was that she was mad

156
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,560
Speaker 2: at me after her and I had an argument over

157
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,240
Speaker 2: my relationship without X. She wanted me to dump him

158
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,280
Speaker 2: because he is an a hole, and I wouldn't listen

159
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:15,400
Speaker 2: at the time. That's crazy that because OP wouldn't listen.

160
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,840
Speaker 2: Amy was like, Okay, so I'm gonna get your boyfriend fired.

161
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,200
Speaker 1: Then I think if OP has a problem, it's that

162
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,520
Speaker 1: they might be a little too tolerant possible. I think

163
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:30,280
Speaker 1: OP should have known for ten years that Amy Amy

164
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,240
Speaker 1: pulled some some sketch crap on you with that. Yeah,

165
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:38,920
Speaker 1: false allegations, messing with the money, yeah, messing with your lives.

166
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,560
Speaker 1: I have friends where I'm like, I don't like who

167
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,680
Speaker 1: you're dating. Yeah, I'm not gonna like, I'm not gonna

168
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,880
Speaker 1: go do and do that because it's your life, right,

169
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:48,680
Speaker 1: you know.

170
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I feel like at the beginning she was

171
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,480
Speaker 2: like yeah, I mean Amy was always like toxic too,

172
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,120
Speaker 2: but it sounds pretty toxic. It's like, yeah, maybe, Like

173
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:04,320
Speaker 2: I feel like theer and having toxic friendships is that

174
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,800
Speaker 2: you can tolerate it when it's not involving you, and

175
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,600
Speaker 2: you'd be like, it's just something that they need to

176
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:10,239
Speaker 2: figure out.

177
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,360
Speaker 3: It's not something that I like can have any control over.

178
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:17,800
Speaker 2: But then eventually it concerns you and it all gets

179
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,400
Speaker 2: pointed right back at you and you get involved and

180
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,520
Speaker 2: it's like, Okay, we don't want to be friends with

181
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:26,360
Speaker 2: these people that are cheating on these people back just

182
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,760
Speaker 2: because the ex was worse, like she said earlier in

183
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,880
Speaker 2: the story, or like, you know that one X in

184
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,840
Speaker 2: high school doesn't mean that Amy's fine.

185
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,800
Speaker 3: You know, we might not want to be friends with

186
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,760
Speaker 3: Amy if she wants to do all this stuff correct.

187
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:40,160
Speaker 2: But there is a little bit more to this story.

188
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,160
Speaker 2: So now I'm sitting here reeling and honestly wanting to

189
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,960
Speaker 2: cut the two of them out of my life. I

190
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,880
Speaker 2: had a very toxic and dramatic youth when I was

191
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,880
Speaker 2: closer to Amy, and I feel like this whole mess

192
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,199
Speaker 2: is pulling me back when I just want to grow

193
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,720
Speaker 2: and heal away from that sort of stuff. My husband

194
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,480
Speaker 2: is deeply offended that she said that I had an

195
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,600
Speaker 2: affair with Smith, and also pissed that I am not madder.

196
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,840
Speaker 2: I am mostly mad about the work Pesterman call, because

197
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,640
Speaker 2: that ruined a lot of stuff and had me absolutely

198
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,959
Speaker 2: struggling and crying. I literally cried on her shoulder, hyperventilating

199
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,160
Speaker 2: over all the fallout from the false claims. Part of

200
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,800
Speaker 2: me was suspicious because she could get so spiteful and

201
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,240
Speaker 2: she hated my ex then, but I really didn't think

202
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,120
Speaker 2: that she would hurt me that way. I was I'm

203
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,720
Speaker 2: just getting it off my chest nineteen years down the drain.

204
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,240
Speaker 2: There are some comments downvound in comments says mental health

205
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,559
Speaker 2: field or not. You shouldn't be hanging out with someone's

206
00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:33,559
Speaker 2: husband until one am. That would have avoided this entire situation.

207
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,120
Speaker 2: It sounds like, no matter what, they would have split

208
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,560
Speaker 2: up since they didn't have a good relationship. It's good

209
00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:40,040
Speaker 2: that your husband is supportive of you.

210
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:43,440
Speaker 1: I don't agree with that, but I also do agree.

211
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,320
Speaker 1: I don't agree with that as a blanket statement, but

212
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:46,959
Speaker 1: I do agree with that with the context that we

213
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,920
Speaker 1: have that this guy had been sending you all those messages. Yeah,

214
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:53,360
Speaker 1: It's like, clearly there had been an established dynamic where

215
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:58,320
Speaker 1: this guy was very, very pursuant pursuant of you, right,

216
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,360
Speaker 1: and so once he's married to someone else, you really

217
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:05,960
Speaker 1: should not, Yeah, go and be that guy who talks

218
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:06,880
Speaker 1: to him until one in the morning.

219
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:07,480
Speaker 2: You just shouldn't.

220
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:08,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get that.

221
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,400
Speaker 2: I think it would for me depend on what happened

222
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:16,360
Speaker 2: in between, like all those messages and like what happened

223
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,040
Speaker 2: in the marriage, Like just was there any other weird

224
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,320
Speaker 2: moments that he was doing or like, I don't know,

225
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,000
Speaker 2: was there any suspicious behavior from him, but it seems like,

226
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,960
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, the husband was on the phone

227
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,800
Speaker 2: and stuff. It seemed like it wasn't that bad, you know,

228
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,800
Speaker 2: OPI responds. I went over there to get my husband's things.

229
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,400
Speaker 2: Amy Smith and my husband all knew this and the

230
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:37,079
Speaker 2: hour I also gave Amy a message because her back

231
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,640
Speaker 2: hurt and she left us to hang out to go

232
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,360
Speaker 2: to bed, so I finished the food that I brought

233
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,600
Speaker 2: for her because she was in a bad mood. I

234
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,760
Speaker 2: only hung out with him recently because my partner was

235
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,040
Speaker 2: busy and he was struggling with his mental health, which

236
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,640
Speaker 2: I thought was over grief, not his marriage. The cheating

237
00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,720
Speaker 2: accusation was bizarre and never brought up before yesterday, even

238
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,000
Speaker 2: though the claim of the incident was over two years prior,

239
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,080
Speaker 2: which is weird. But yeah, not ideal hanging out with

240
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,520
Speaker 2: your friend's partner after hours. It more ended up that

241
00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,400
Speaker 2: way when she left, rather than it being a planned hangout.

242
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,320
Speaker 3: My girlfriend is upset that I cried over a video game.

243
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,120
Speaker 4: Well, she should support you showing your emotions.

244
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,840
Speaker 2: As a young adult growing up during the Quarantine era,

245
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,400
Speaker 2: I male twenty three, got really into video games, as

246
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,839
Speaker 2: did most of the people that I hung out with

247
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,920
Speaker 2: at the time, I got used to playing video games

248
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,880
Speaker 2: as a way to relax and connect with other people

249
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,080
Speaker 2: during my downtime. Only recently did I start playing single

250
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,200
Speaker 2: player games as a means of entertainment, well past the

251
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,839
Speaker 2: prime years for gaming. By the way, this comes from

252
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:37,000
Speaker 2: a throwaway opinion gatherer and from opinion Gatherer seven eighty nine.

253
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,480
Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

254
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,120
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay, storytime separated.

255
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:44,360
Speaker 3: We're getting two people on this right now. Exciting stuff.

256
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,960
Speaker 4: I liked when that happens.

257
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,800
Speaker 2: My girlfriend, female twenty three, is really chill. She is

258
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,080
Speaker 2: super down to earth, and for the most part, she's

259
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,360
Speaker 2: always put a lot of effort into understanding me. I'm

260
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,680
Speaker 2: a pretty social person who dealt with putting up masks

261
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,560
Speaker 2: to get a quick laugh from people, and so I

262
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,000
Speaker 2: felt really isolated for a while when I met my girlfriend,

263
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,720
Speaker 2: and she really put in a lot of effort to

264
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,760
Speaker 2: get past those walls and see me for who I

265
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,160
Speaker 2: truly was cut to three years later, and this is

266
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,200
Speaker 2: the biggest fight I think we've ever had.

267
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,680
Speaker 3: I recently finished Final Fantasy Sevin.

268
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:15,200
Speaker 2: Rebirth at play through the remake just a few months ago.

269
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,280
Speaker 2: I won't spoil it for anyone here, but that game

270
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,200
Speaker 2: gets really emotional towards the latter half. Now, I've never

271
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,200
Speaker 2: been a sappy person or when a cry at movies,

272
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,040
Speaker 2: and I think this is the biggest reason my girlfriend

273
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,920
Speaker 2: has been having issues with my quote behavior. I was

274
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,480
Speaker 2: cooking dinner for the two of us when the main theme,

275
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,760
Speaker 2: a Sector seventh theme from the first game for those

276
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:32,960
Speaker 2: who are curious, came on.

277
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:33,320
Speaker 4: Now.

278
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,640
Speaker 2: This is a relatively slow song with a lot of

279
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,440
Speaker 2: strings and feelings woven into the melodies, or at least

280
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,160
Speaker 2: for me it is. I really don't know what came

281
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,360
Speaker 2: over me, but I started to get teary eyed while

282
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,480
Speaker 2: listening to it, thinking about some of the characters and

283
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:45,360
Speaker 2: the events of the game.

284
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,080
Speaker 3: I don't think there's really been a piece.

285
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,839
Speaker 2: Of media that has affected me in this kind of way,

286
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,640
Speaker 2: but I found myself particularly saddened at that moment by

287
00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:54,760
Speaker 2: the narrative of the game. So my girlfriend obviously noticed

288
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,800
Speaker 2: this and realized that I was crying and immediately grew concerned.

289
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,840
Speaker 2: When I told her it was nothing, she kept pushing.

290
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,400
Speaker 2: I thought the reason I was crying was pretty stupid too,

291
00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:05,200
Speaker 2: so I kind of lied. In hopes of diverting the subject,

292
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,000
Speaker 2: I just told her that it was from the onions

293
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:07,840
Speaker 2: I was cutting earlier.

294
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,200
Speaker 4: They He's like, by.

295
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:14,800
Speaker 2: They were shallottes, but close enough, and I left it

296
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,240
Speaker 2: at that. Well, apparently I was very quietly sobbing or something,

297
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,960
Speaker 2: because she called bas a few minutes later, dude, this

298
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:21,800
Speaker 2: is so funny.

299
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,520
Speaker 4: They're playing Final Fantasy Rebirth and like crying, yeah, and

300
00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:28,120
Speaker 4: she's like, what's going on. He's like, this just the

301
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:32,000
Speaker 4: onions I was cunning earlier, and she was like okay.

302
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,360
Speaker 1: And then he's like.

303
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 4: And she's like, dude, the onions are nowhere to be found, right.

304
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:39,959
Speaker 3: They have to be in front of you to make

305
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:46,240
Speaker 3: you cry. Yeah, very onion.

306
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,920
Speaker 2: So a few minutes later she started getting upset, thinking

307
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,679
Speaker 2: that I had done something like be unfaithful to her,

308
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,360
Speaker 2: and so rather than be caught another lie, I just

309
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:59,199
Speaker 2: told her the truth. Unfortunately, this just made her more upset.

310
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,640
Speaker 4: What she saw you crying, and she jumped too. You

311
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:03,480
Speaker 4: cheated on me.

312
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,839
Speaker 3: That's crazy talk, that's insane.

313
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:10,520
Speaker 4: Why is that the first thing you jumped to? That's projection? Actually,

314
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,200
Speaker 4: so projection honestly.

315
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,920
Speaker 3: I mean, if it's that out of left field, then

316
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:14,640
Speaker 3: it probably.

317
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,840
Speaker 4: She's like, I've never seen you crab before. You must

318
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:17,480
Speaker 4: be cheating on me.

319
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,880
Speaker 2: He must just be like so overflowed with guilt. You're

320
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:22,920
Speaker 2: so chelty crying and you're liking to me about it

321
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,600
Speaker 2: and I don't know it. She was going on and

322
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,640
Speaker 2: on about how I was so immature for letting a

323
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,760
Speaker 2: video game girl remain in my thoughts for weeks after

324
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,840
Speaker 2: I finished playing the game, she said that she was

325
00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,640
Speaker 2: upset that I was replacing my quote mental headspace with

326
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,360
Speaker 2: a quote misogynistic dream girl that she thinks I believe

327
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:39,440
Speaker 2: it is a better version of her.

328
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:48,880
Speaker 4: Wow, wow, oh my gosh, so crazy. Oh my gosh.

329
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:50,080
Speaker 1: She's gonna have a hard time when GTA six dropped.

330
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,800
Speaker 4: Dude. So dude, see, oh my god.

331
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,600
Speaker 2: Girl from the game does look very similar to my girlfriend,

332
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,520
Speaker 2: I must admit. But that just shows you how pretty

333
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 2: my girlfriend it is. Regardless, I tried telling her that

334
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,960
Speaker 2: the actual narrative of the game was frankly ingenious and

335
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,760
Speaker 2: how the song was just a trigger. It's not the

336
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,360
Speaker 2: girl herself that's making me cry, it's the narrative that

337
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:13,040
Speaker 2: she's involved in. Also, it's an emotional song, like without

338
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,760
Speaker 2: knowing what happens in the game, I feel like I

339
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,040
Speaker 2: could be sad to a song like this. Anyways, she

340
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,760
Speaker 2: wasn't having it, and she made me sleep on the

341
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,400
Speaker 2: couch that night and the night after that. I'm starting

342
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 2: to get really mad, and I admit I was getting

343
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:26,160
Speaker 2: frustrated with her that she was treating me poorly because I.

344
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,720
Speaker 3: Became emotional over a game.

345
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,280
Speaker 2: I'm frustrated that I discovered something that moved me like

346
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,480
Speaker 2: no other game or movie has ever done before, and

347
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,240
Speaker 2: for some reason, I'm being punished for showing my emotions

348
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,640
Speaker 2: in front of my own partner. I asked my mom

349
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,680
Speaker 2: for some advice since I'm thinking of breaking up with

350
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,840
Speaker 2: her for treating me like this or some little disagreement,

351
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:45,040
Speaker 2: but after explaining the situation from both sides, she sided

352
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:45,960
Speaker 2: with my girlfriend.

353
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,560
Speaker 4: What's going on now?

354
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,200
Speaker 2: I have my direct family calling me childish, and all

355
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,200
Speaker 2: my friends are making fun of me for being into

356
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,160
Speaker 2: two D girls.

357
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,760
Speaker 3: I'm literally not into her.

358
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,360
Speaker 2: By the way, if you played this game, you would

359
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,160
Speaker 2: understand what I'm talking about. Since nobody in my community

360
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,600
Speaker 2: has really played player games, I feel like I'm talking

361
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,200
Speaker 2: to a bunch of people who just aren't going to

362
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,560
Speaker 2: understand what I'm saying here. I'm getting a lot of

363
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:10,760
Speaker 2: anime wife wu comments from my girlfriend's friends, not even anime. Yeah,

364
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,520
Speaker 2: and overall, I'm becoming more and more done with this situation.

365
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,920
Speaker 2: I really love my girlfriend like a lot, but this

366
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,200
Speaker 2: simple misunderstanding is tearing our relationship apart. I'm trying to

367
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,720
Speaker 2: communicate not only my own feelings, but also how she

368
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,920
Speaker 2: might be taking this situation a bit farther than it

369
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,960
Speaker 2: reasonably needs to. So, Reddit, I need your advice. Do

370
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,840
Speaker 2: I cut my losses and break it off over something

371
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,840
Speaker 2: as stupid as this? I kind of don't want to

372
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,280
Speaker 2: let a fake girl tear my relationship apart. That just

373
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,520
Speaker 2: feels dumb. Am I being immature? I want her to understand,

374
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,400
Speaker 2: but I feel as though she's not listening to me.

375
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,400
Speaker 2: If I don't break it off, how do you think

376
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:43,560
Speaker 2: I go about amending this? I just want some honest advice.

377
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,800
Speaker 2: And here's to hoping my girlfriend and her friends don't

378
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,800
Speaker 2: find this story and make even more fun of me.

379
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,240
Speaker 2: There are some relevant comments, but I want to hear yours.

380
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,240
Speaker 4: Okay, I am the best solution?

381
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 3: What is it?

382
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:54,280
Speaker 4: You make her play? Final?

383
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,160
Speaker 3: Oooh, there you go?

384
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,920
Speaker 4: You just say, okay, you know what you're not getting me,

385
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,040
Speaker 4: and you just sit down, play it all the way

386
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,560
Speaker 4: through and then we'll talk.

387
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, I think that would be good.

388
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,080
Speaker 2: Like I have like played a few video games, but

389
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,520
Speaker 2: I'm not a huge video game person. My brother really is,

390
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,840
Speaker 2: and like, I didn't really understand this stuff. I think

391
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,719
Speaker 2: at first, if he didn't tell me about it, like

392
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,119
Speaker 2: any of these video games being emotional, I'd probably be like, oh,

393
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,120
Speaker 2: that's like weird, like.

394
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:19,640
Speaker 3: Whi's going on there?

395
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,560
Speaker 2: But after learning about some of these games, man and

396
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,719
Speaker 2: I played one of his and I totally cried at

397
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,440
Speaker 2: the end, totally.

398
00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,440
Speaker 4: And also just talk to her and say like, well, okay,

399
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:33,000
Speaker 4: some people are more emotional. Some people cry never, some

400
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 4: people cry at the drop of the hat. Some people

401
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,680
Speaker 4: cry a lot, maybe not the drop of that, but

402
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:38,840
Speaker 4: fairly often. And that's me.

403
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's the hat type.

404
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,000
Speaker 4: That's me. I cry fairly often.

405
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:49,080
Speaker 2: And that's okay, Okay, okay, it's okay, too, like to

406
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,440
Speaker 2: be a man and do that.

407
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:50,920
Speaker 1: It is.

408
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:54,000
Speaker 4: I think if you have little boys that you're raising

409
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,800
Speaker 4: your children, not just little boys that you found, little

410
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,560
Speaker 4: boys that you're raising chosen if.

411
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,480
Speaker 2: You found somebody you can gather up and tell them

412
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:02,880
Speaker 2: that is well.

413
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,440
Speaker 3: Cry if they're.

414
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,720
Speaker 4: Crying, don't say oh you're a big boy, don't cry.

415
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 4: It's like, Okay, you're feeling this emotion, let's work through exactly.

416
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,199
Speaker 3: It's just an emotion. Guys, men have all of these

417
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,040
Speaker 3: same emotions.

418
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:15,560
Speaker 4: Just water from your eyes.

419
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,600
Speaker 2: Not the big of a deal, but there are some

420
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:23,400
Speaker 2: relevant but emments. Dada beaten Nick. What that's a crazy name, Dad,

421
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,320
Speaker 2: I've beaten Nick. Look if I was reading a novel

422
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,040
Speaker 2: and it I cried, I don't think anyone would criticize me.

423
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 2: Gloomy a ruminant says, I'd never think anything of someone

424
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,560
Speaker 2: crying while reading. But if I walked into the kitchen

425
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 2: and found my husband's sobbing over a book he read

426
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,600
Speaker 2: days ago, I would be pretty taken aback and would

427
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,520
Speaker 2: start to worry that maybe something else was going on

428
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,200
Speaker 2: with him that I wasn't seeing. However, the girlfriend's subsequent

429
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,880
Speaker 2: reaction is unhinged, and I'll be response, I think that's

430
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,880
Speaker 2: what was freaking her out the most. I'm not usually

431
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,920
Speaker 2: an emotional person. I think I've cried in front of

432
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,760
Speaker 2: my girlfriend like twice. I think She's suspecting that more

433
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,600
Speaker 2: is going on than what I am telling her, because

434
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,359
Speaker 2: in her eyes, this is out of character for me.

435
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,960
Speaker 3: But in reality, I just haven't experienced stuff like this before.

436
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,040
Speaker 3: Sovereign Niven, not only did your.

437
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 2: Girlfriend read the situation with extreme bad faith and lack

438
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,200
Speaker 2: of empathy, she turned to her friends to make fun

439
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,439
Speaker 2: of you and shame you. That is not what a

440
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 2: loving and respecting person does in a disagreement. Is that

441
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 2: something that you are okay with in a relationship. You

442
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 2: are not having issues because of two d girls. You

443
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,199
Speaker 2: are having issues because of her behavior. She build her

444
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,200
Speaker 2: own narrative and is refusing to see your point of

445
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,840
Speaker 2: view over something completely harmless and low states what happens

446
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,200
Speaker 2: when you build your future together and have to discuss

447
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:28,919
Speaker 2: heavier things.

448
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,439
Speaker 3: Also, I know that despite the popularity.

449
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,000
Speaker 2: Of gaming, there still exists a lot of people who

450
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 2: do not understand the medium. But our stories not a

451
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,200
Speaker 2: universal concept.

452
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,959
Speaker 4: Stories are the oldest thing in the world.

453
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:40,880
Speaker 3: That's all there is.

454
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,760
Speaker 1: I mean, if you look as.

455
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 4: Stories are like how we build culture, stories are how

456
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 4: we build relationship.

457
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 2: Right, I mean, if you look at any single art form,

458
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,119
Speaker 2: any art form, it's about telling a story.

459
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 4: I mean before we had books of you know that

460
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 4: recorded everything. We had oral history, yeah, which is how

461
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 4: we passed down culture and family and you know like

462
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,640
Speaker 4: that that was how things were talked about. What we've got,

463
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 4: the story has changed and developed.

464
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 2: That's how you converse with people, like, it's just how

465
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:14,879
Speaker 2: you connect.

466
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 4: So I feel very electria. I feel very lucky to

467
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,920
Speaker 4: be an actor and to be capable of creating emotion

468
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000
Speaker 4: in people. Yeah, because it's one of the you know,

469
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,440
Speaker 4: it's a very old art form, right.

470
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 2: Absolutely, do they not experience TV series, movies and books

471
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,639
Speaker 2: and empathize with the characters in their journey? Does no

472
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,520
Speaker 2: one in your or your girlfriend's circles play video games?

473
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:39,119
Speaker 2: Sounds incredibly weird. Oh, he says she doesn't have any

474
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,840
Speaker 2: guy friends since to her, guys and girls just can't

475
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 2: be friends or whatever. Redo huge red flag book. There's

476
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 2: one friend who is on my side, though, keeps telling

477
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,400
Speaker 2: me that I have to show her that games are

478
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,639
Speaker 2: just as powerful as the movies. Unfortunately, this friend is

479
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 2: also really into anime and cosplaying, which for some unexplainable

480
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 2: reason puts her beneath everyone else in her friend group's eyes.

481
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 3: And the dodgy he walks, says.

482
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 1: Also, the first one I think was dad AI beat Nick,

483
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:13,800
Speaker 1: not dada I beat Nick, I beat yea beat Nick.

484
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 3: I thought it was like a I beat you. Now

485
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 3: I thought it was like a book.

486
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,879
Speaker 4: I'm a Beatnick now I'm.

487
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 2: There's one more comment before we get into our update,

488
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 2: and none of these behaviors read it chilling down to Earth,

489
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:28,640
Speaker 2: by the way.

490
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 3: Oh and that's it, and now we have got her

491
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 3: update update. Yeah, update. I really hope that he breaks.

492
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,120
Speaker 4: Up with her.

493
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 5: Break break with her, break.

494
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 3: Up with her updates.

495
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,119
Speaker 2: I didn't get much sleep last night, mostly due to

496
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 2: the third night on the couch, and we're all being

497
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 2: really frustrated with how I've been treated the past couple

498
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 2: of days. But when my girlfriend got up this morning,

499
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 2: she had a different energy. It was much earlier than

500
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 2: she needed to be up, and she invited me back

501
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,360
Speaker 2: into the bedroom to rest and we could talk later

502
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,159
Speaker 2: if I was up for it. I just told her

503
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 2: that we should talk now, since the rest would be

504
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 2: hard with this heavy burden on my mind.

505
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 3: Well, she apologized immediately.

506
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 2: She told me how awful she felt for treating me

507
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,439
Speaker 2: like a cheating boyfriend, and that she had been acting

508
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,360
Speaker 2: rash and childish out of the fear that I had

509
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,560
Speaker 2: been falling out of love with her. I was still

510
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 2: a little peeved, but I put my anger aside for

511
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 2: a while and told her that, yes, she totally had

512
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 2: been treating me unfairly for the past couple of days.

513
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 2: She didn't defend herself very much, and she started explaining

514
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,400
Speaker 2: her sudden change of heart. This silly argument has been

515
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 2: going on since Wednesday night, and in all the free

516
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 2: time she's been having away from me, she had naturally

517
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 2: been telling her friends and family. My girlfriend is very

518
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 2: close with my mother, so she gave her a lot

519
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,680
Speaker 2: of detail about the whole situation, including the details about

520
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 2: the fake girl.

521
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 3: That had supposedly quote captured my eye.

522
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,639
Speaker 4: That's not cool. Well, sorry, she went and blabbed everyone

523
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,159
Speaker 4: about Yeah, literally crying.

524
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 2: I'm really scared that OPI's just making excuses like, well, naturally,

525
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 2: like she told everyone, because that's natural.

526
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 3: You know, she was awh with people.

527
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 4: When I had like things I was like unsure about

528
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 4: with my ex, I would talk to like Sam, Yeah,

529
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 4: you know, I talk to like one or two people

530
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,719
Speaker 4: like my clothes, close friends who had write ask for advice.

531
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 4: But it wasn't like slamming on them.

532
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, It's like I get like wanting to talk to people,

533
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 2: and like sometimes multiple people helps, like for some of

534
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 2: like getting different perspectives and stuff, but not just like,

535
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 2: oh my god, can.

536
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 4: You believe that this cried? It should be like, hey,

537
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 4: like this happened the other day and I'm you know, yeah,

538
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 4: I don't know how to really help him, how to

539
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 4: approach it. That should be where you're coming from, if

540
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 4: you are in a healthy relationship, exactly shouldn't be slam

541
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 4: duncan on your partner.

542
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

543
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 2: Well, her mother told the rest of her family, including

544
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 2: my girlfriend's father and most importantly, her younger brother. Now,

545
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 2: as I've noticed from the comments on my previous post,

546
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,360
Speaker 2: my reaction to this song and this character are far

547
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 2: from unusual, and it seems to be much more common

548
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 2: experience amongst the gamers who have experienced Final Fantasy seven.

549
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 2: Her brother, quickly catching on to the situation at hand,

550
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 2: quickly called my girlfriend and started explaining the situation to her.

551
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 2: While I was writing my previous post, her younger brother

552
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 2: had been coming to Batford. Yeah, trying to justify that

553
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,159
Speaker 2: it truly was just the narrative that had brought me

554
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,920
Speaker 2: to tears by the way, I wasn't bawling my eyes out,

555
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 2: my eyes were watery, and then there were a few

556
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 2: tears and a couple sniffles. Seems like some people thought

557
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,560
Speaker 2: it had sent me into a weird episode. Regardless, my

558
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 2: girlfriends started to doubt herself and did some research online. Well,

559
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 2: fans of Final Fantasy seven are quite prolific, so much

560
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 2: online discourse talking about this one game had proven my

561
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 2: feelings valid enough for my girlfriend, and she had a

562
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 2: change of heart.

563
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 3: Sometime overnight. I asked her if there.

564
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 2: Was something that I had done to make her souch

565
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 2: scared about our relationship, as some commentaries suggested, but she

566
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 2: brushed it off and told me that she was just

567
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 2: anxious because many of her friends were getting cheated on recently,

568
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 2: and she was.

569
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 3: Worried that I was growing distant.

570
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 2: After a bit of talking, we came to an understanding

571
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,639
Speaker 2: that I was simply getting more comfortable, and as the

572
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 2: time between my lovey dovey moments were increasing, she was

573
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 2: worried that I was drifting away or possibly falling for

574
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 2: another woman. I'm quite glad that this conversation is happening

575
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,880
Speaker 2: now rather than later, and I now think that we've

576
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 2: moved past it. Courtney Electra says she has friends, surprising shock,

577
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:56,920
Speaker 2: but I'll like.

578
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,960
Speaker 4: The friends who are like, oh, he plays the videot games.

579
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because that's so it can probably like make

580
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 2: fun of the cosplaying.

581
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 4: The cosplayer that's like, I bet she's shot like a freak.

582
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 3: That's to think, is cool?

583
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 4: Cool.

584
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 2: I don't cosplay, that's what could even though, like I

585
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 2: make clothes and stuff like that, that's not my thing.

586
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,880
Speaker 2: But I'm obsessed with watching cosplaying people. I think it's

587
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 2: so satisfying. And that one girl that makes the wigs,

588
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 2: oh yeah, there's our taglies.

589
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:34,120
Speaker 3: She's hot. She really calmed down. Jinks had her hair black.

590
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 3: It's muted. But there is a little bit more to

591
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,719
Speaker 3: this story. I still hope that they break up. Not

592
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 3: gonna lie.

593
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,120
Speaker 2: So we compromised, and she promised that if she ever

594
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 2: had a problem with my behavior again, she would communicate

595
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 2: more directly with me, as well as treat me more

596
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 2: like a human being. She also said that she wouldn't

597
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 2: mind trying playing a video game with me, as she

598
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 2: was interested in what she read earlier about one final

599
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 2: Fantasy vin game. It seems the comments have also left

600
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,440
Speaker 2: many congestions for games to try out.

601
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:02,200
Speaker 3: That's very nice.

602
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 2: I appreciate all your messages, and perhaps both myself and

603
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 2: the commentars were being harsh last night. I think this

604
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,159
Speaker 2: is the best things could have turned out. Also, she

605
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 2: brought me a basket full of different yellow flowers with

606
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,680
Speaker 2: takeout tonight, and I almost cried again.

607
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 5: Huh.

608
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 2: Anyways, perhaps that wasn't the ending you guys were rooting for,

609
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 2: but I'm glad that this is finally over and my

610
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,400
Speaker 2: relationship with my girlfriend is still solid and I have

611
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 2: a bed to sleep in tonight. Thank you all for

612
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 2: your advice. I appreciate it all.

613
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,719
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to this episode,

614
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break with aswer more sponsors.

615
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 4: My boyfriend's friend is in love with him, but he

616
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 4: can't see.

617
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, he's blind.

618
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 4: I twenty seven female, met my boyfriend Daniel, twenty five male,

619
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 4: through mutual friends. The attraction was instant, and I knew

620
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,840
Speaker 4: he was something special. Our first dates were amazing. I

621
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 4: traveled ninety percent of the time for work, and he

622
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 4: was in his last semester of college at the time.

623
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,360
Speaker 4: He was very involved and had many friends. By the way,

624
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,919
Speaker 4: this comes from cute requirement two seven to two on

625
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 4: the Too Hot Take subreddit, and if you want to

626
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

627
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 4: story time. Separate it. So one group I nicknamed his

628
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 4: harem Carrie, Emma, Hannah and Brian. Our school was a

629
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 4: fourth ratio that many girls in one group was wild.

630
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 4: They went on long school road trips together and were

631
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 4: overall very close. I tried to meet them, but I

632
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 4: had to travel and missed all their graduation parties. I

633
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 4: finally got to meet Carrie and Brian at his graduation party.

634
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 4: I was excited to meet his friends he always spoke of,

635
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 4: and nervous to meet his family for the first time

636
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 4: until I met Carrie. He was showing us his parents'

637
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,720
Speaker 4: house and childhood bedroom, laughing and poking fun. She picks

638
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,719
Speaker 4: up a photo of him in his high school football

639
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 4: uniform and goes, wow, you were so hot. What happened

640
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 4: a little weird, but I assumed it was a joke.

641
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,919
Speaker 4: His sister came down and we were all hanging in

642
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 4: the basement. I tried to bond with her over books

643
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,600
Speaker 4: and she made a big deal about smut books and

644
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 4: how their group needs to start book club and read

645
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 4: them together. He's uncomfortable about these books. It's an easy jab,

646
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 4: but weird to do. After the party, we all wandered

647
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 4: Ikea to pass time before we went to a bar.

648
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 4: Everything is going well until we go through checkout. She

649
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 4: picked up a candy bar and went to Brian, you're

650
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 4: my caramel chocolate, and looks at Daniel and goes, you're

651
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,159
Speaker 4: my milk chocolate.

652
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 5: Eh.

653
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 4: Tone was noticeably different between the two. That made everyone uncomfortable.

654
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 4: We went to the bar. It was a large place

655
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 4: with games. Everything was good until the boys were facing

656
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 4: off at ping pong. We were casually chatting and the

657
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 4: conversation turns to how we're both blonde. She goes, doesn't

658
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 4: it fact that your children will never look like you?

659
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 3: Yikes?

660
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 4: He is first generation Indian. Ooh, so the chocolate comments

661
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 4: about color? Yeah, I thought she was just talking about chalk.

662
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 4: I thought maybe it was, but now we have confirmation.

663
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 3: Oh nos, race for hip.

664
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 4: Yikes? Who brings that up and phrases it like that?

665
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 4: I respond with, I care about the person not preserving

666
00:28:56,560 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 4: genetics because she's not a eugenicist. The whole night. It

667
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 4: was so weird, and I started paying attention. He talked

668
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 4: about how they went on a school research trip. Emma,

669
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 4: Carrie and others were in the car. They knew the

670
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 4: books made him uncomfortable. Carrie pushed to read the schmesy

671
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 4: parts of the smut books out loud to be funny.

672
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 4: The three of them played video games on Mondays. I

673
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 4: was invited to join once. I don't want to intrude

674
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 4: on their friend time, but also I do want to

675
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 4: get to know his friends. Carrie flat out ignored me.

676
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,719
Speaker 4: I felt so uncomfortable. Daniel said, I was quiet, but

677
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 4: Brian could hear me just fine. The second time I

678
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 4: met her, she came in town New Year's weekend. Brian,

679
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 4: his cousin Daniel, Carry and I all went to a

680
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 4: place to watch the hockey game and catch up. I

681
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 4: creeped on her for some conversation topics. I asked about

682
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 4: how her family trip went. She just came back from.

683
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 4: She gave me a one liner, pulls out her phone

684
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,719
Speaker 4: and only shows Brian and Daniel the photos and chatters

685
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 4: about her trip. Daniel tells her to show me the

686
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 4: phone to try to bring me back in. She flashed

687
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 4: the phone so I could briefly see and goes back

688
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 4: into leaving me out. He said, come on, like you

689
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 4: show a peep anyway, Kerrie, you saw it.

690
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 2: That's the kind of thing where it's like it's such

691
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 2: a small Yeah it should I shouldn't let it bother

692
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 2: me that much. But that's the thing that like pisses

693
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 2: me off way more than like medium things, you.

694
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 4: Know what I mean. It's the little jabs.

695
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 3: It's just like, are you a child? Yeah, Like that's

696
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 3: it's so childish.

697
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 4: No, I really don't understand passive aggressiveness.

698
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 3: It's stupid.

699
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 2: It's like, if you want to be mean and have

700
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 2: like an effect on people, just be mean.

701
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're not doing anything with this.

702
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 3: You're just looking stupid.

703
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 4: We go to Twisted Ranch because she's always wanted to

704
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 4: go and try all the ranch flavors. I am on

705
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 4: one end, Daniel's next to me, Brian and his cousin

706
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 4: across and carries at the head of the table. We

707
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 4: order and she makes a big deal of trying them

708
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 4: all with Daniel, to the point it's awkward for Brian

709
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 4: and me. We make a game out of it. Blindfold

710
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 4: guess the flavor she notices we're having a good time

711
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 4: and does the same with just the two of them.

712
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 4: The next day or so, it was New Year's bash

713
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 4: at a bar. We all brought our friends and it

714
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 4: was a huge group, the entire ham included. At the

715
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,480
Speaker 4: end of the night, everyone was enjoying the open bar.

716
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 4: I had a blast until I noticed Carrie was hanging

717
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 4: all over him. He did hold her back and was

718
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 4: being respectful. I didn't love it, so stepped in and

719
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 4: asked what they were talking about to reroute the situation.

720
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 4: It was too loud. It was and it was nothing

721
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 4: like she was trying to ask them, and they were like, oh,

722
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 4: it's too loud, it's nothing. Later that night, she turns

723
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 4: to me dramatically fake crying, asking if I liked her.

724
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 4: What do I say to that? Hey, I think you're great.

725
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 4: I love how you're always rude to me and hit

726
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 4: on my boyfriend in front of me. I do say

727
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 4: I like her back, because what else do you do?

728
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 4: She then goes, you make him really happy, and I

729
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 4: think he's gonna propose to you soon. I can't tell

730
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 4: if she like spoiled the proposal or if there's like

731
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 4: if she's.

732
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 3: Just like me. Yeah, I feel like she's just making

733
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 3: it up.

734
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 4: The face was fake happy sobs, huge smile, The tone

735
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 4: was stress and hurt. The three of them were planning

736
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 4: a trip. Daniel invited me along as well, eleven nights

737
00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 4: camping and Glacier and Banff. I'm very outdoor. I've done

738
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 4: camping trips since I was little. Daniel was a boy scout.

739
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 4: Brian's first time camping was recent, but he enjoyed it.

740
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 4: I wasn't thrilled with eleven days with Carrie, but these

741
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 4: friends were important to him. Then I found out she's

742
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 4: never really hiked and has never been camping. Daniel's response is,

743
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 4: it's okay, I'll make her like it. Maybe your experience

744
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 4: is different than mine. Boys suck it up when they're uncomfortable.

745
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 4: Girls make the trip miserable when they're not happy. Brian

746
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,959
Speaker 4: just got a girlfriend and wanted to invite her. Carrie

747
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 4: made it a big deal. How she it's heir to Daniel. Privately,

748
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 4: she hasn't even met her.

749
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 1: If I may really quickly just that comment about like,

750
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: I think that's different between boys and girls. It's not

751
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 1: it's about the kind of person it is.

752
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 4: It's just about the yeah. I was about to say,

753
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 4: I yeah, yeah. I think that's a generalization. That's a generalization.

754
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 4: Anyone can make a trip bed.

755
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: The worst person I've ever known to do that is

756
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 1: a guy.

757
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, just putting it out there. Okay, it's all,

758
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 4: and I appreciate that. Dakota nice. You better, Dakota supports women.

759
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 4: You better, impart dad friend, she hasn't even met her.

760
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 4: I pushed Daniel to invite his other close friends Emma

761
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 4: and Hannah and Brian's girlfriend along with my friend. Make it,

762
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 4: make it a big thing. Change it to Colorado so

763
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 4: there are airbnbs and we can hike and see national parks.

764
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 4: That's my dream.

765
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 3: Sounds great.

766
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 4: My dream is for anyone who's like, let's go camping

767
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 4: to change their mind and take me to an Airbnb

768
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,959
Speaker 4: so we can hike and see national parks. There you go,

769
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 4: don't take me camping, please. It's cheaper, inclusive, and a

770
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 4: good test run. I'll have time with the rest of

771
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 4: his friends, and the girlfriend can come along. I selfishly

772
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 4: would also have more of a buffer from Carrie. Later,

773
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 4: Daniel and I argued over driving logistics for the trip.

774
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 4: Carrie refused to carpool with Brian and his girlfriend to

775
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:47,240
Speaker 4: Colorado because she couldn't stand her. Well, honestly, probably better

776
00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,719
Speaker 4: off for that girl. She sounds like she sucks. Yeah,

777
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 4: she still had never met her. Daniel said he could

778
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 4: drive her. I asked him why frontiers cheap flights. We

779
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 4: could both get in early and have some alone time

780
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 4: before everyone arrives. It's an extra four hour detour to

781
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 4: get her. She's twenty five. Can she not drive seven

782
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 4: hours by herself or have Brian driver because she's literally

783
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 4: on his route. His response was she's a bad driver

784
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 4: and would be uncomfortable driving with his girlfriend. Oh, he's

785
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:14,399
Speaker 4: uncomfortable with you driving with her?

786
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 1: Slash.

787
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 4: Also, I'm not sure if he's implying that they're all

788
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:17,840
Speaker 4: going to drive together.

789
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 2: So this is Daniel, right, Yeah, Daniel's op Daniel or

790
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 2: he's boyfriend?

791
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 4: Yes?

792
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 3: And so who is he saying would be uncomfortable with?

793
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 4: So Daniel saying that Carrie, who's the worst one she sucks,

794
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:33,919
Speaker 4: is uncomfortable driving with Brian and his new girlfriend because

795
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 4: she hates his new girlfriend even though she's never met her.

796
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 3: So stupid and.

797
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 4: He so Daniel saying, oh, well, all driver, And I

798
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,839
Speaker 4: don't know if he's implying that OP is to drive

799
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:46,239
Speaker 4: alone or if they're all driving together, yeah Carrie either way.

800
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 4: Oh P does not want to do that, So like,

801
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 4: why do Carrie's needs come before your girlfriends? Yeah, then

802
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 4: f and fly over and get over yourself. He responded.

803
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 4: If you don't want me to do it, just tell me.

804
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,720
Speaker 4: I don't want to have to tell him to choose

805
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 4: me over another girl. Spend extra time with me, choose me,

806
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 4: love me. He suggested, we all carpool together. I have

807
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 4: been openly telling him everything that's happened during our interactions,

808
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 4: how she's rude and makes me uncomfortable, the breaking points.

809
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:19,319
Speaker 4: I was driving home one day and we're chatting about

810
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,319
Speaker 4: life and schedules. He says he wanted to go on

811
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 4: a camping trip with just Brian and Carrie to test

812
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,759
Speaker 4: them for the Glacier trip next year. At first I

813
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 4: thought it would be fun. Then my mind's spun. I

814
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 4: could imagine her pretending to be scared and trying to

815
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,720
Speaker 4: cuddle up next to him. I gave myself an anxiety attack.

816
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 4: I called him back and asked if I could go too.

817
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 4: He said, I'm always invited, but he wanted this one

818
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,439
Speaker 4: to be just the three of them. The image spun

819
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 4: in my brain. I told him i'd call him back.

820
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:48,240
Speaker 4: I calmed down and gathered my thoughts and sanity, checked

821
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 4: my anxieties with Megan to make sure I was not

822
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 4: blowing this out of proportion. I called him back and

823
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 4: started the conversation about how caught up is he with

824
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 4: a podcast? I make him listen. We talk about the

825
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 4: creepy Valentine's Day box girl and others, and get to

826
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 4: the one with the work wife. He goes, WHOA, I

827
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 4: can't believe he didn't believe his wife after all that.

828
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 4: I responded with, right, I really related to that one.

829
00:36:10,719 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 4: You know the way Carrie hits ONNYA. But that's just

830
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 4: who she is. I told him I can't do this

831
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,960
Speaker 4: if things don't change. That time he listened. We had

832
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 4: a long conversation going over everything. I don't ever want

833
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 4: to be that girl that makes him not talk to

834
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 4: his friends. I don't like it, but don't mind if

835
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 4: she comes to group things. I'm uncomfortable with just the

836
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 4: three of them hanging out. We set boundaries. He needs

837
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 4: to stop her advances, he needs to step in when

838
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 4: she's being openly rude, if she was such a good friend,

839
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 4: she would try to get to know me. I don't

840
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 4: know about you, but I don't read smut with my

841
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 4: guy friends. I don't lean all over them when I

842
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 4: talk to them, call them hot under the guise of

843
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 4: a joke. There are many more subtle things, but I'm

844
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 4: trying to make this detailed and not too long. I

845
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 4: trust him wholeheartedly. I do believe he views her as

846
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 4: a friend. I do think she is manipulative. I've been

847
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 4: told I need to have more self worth. I should

848
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 4: be a priority. I shouldn't have to tell him what

849
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 4: to do. My friends think I'm justified. I'm anxious that

850
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 4: maybe I'm reading the situation wrong. I have good friends

851
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 4: of three plus years cut me out of their life

852
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 4: when they get girlfriends, and I know how much it sucks.

853
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 4: I hate how fixated I get when she's around. I

854
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:17,839
Speaker 4: like all of his friends. They have all made an

855
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 4: effort to get to know me. There's other details. I

856
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 4: do call out every instance after each interaction. I'm very

857
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 4: direct with them. The hair moved to different states when

858
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 4: they graduated. They stay connected with the book club. Carrie

859
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 4: picks out smet books, but everyone else picked normal ones.

860
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 4: They don't just read smunt only the three play games together.

861
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,760
Speaker 4: We have been dating for roughly a year and a half,

862
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 4: and there is an update, folks, But what do you think.

863
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 4: I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

864
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be honest with you. Yeah, I don't like

865
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 4: it one bit. I don't like it one bit. But

866
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:51,280
Speaker 4: I do appreciate that he has seemingly taken this seriously now,

867
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 4: frustrating that it took her being like, hey, Carrie's making

868
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 4: me uncomfortable. Yeah, HER's making me uncomfortable.

869
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 3: But we haven't seen what he's done about it yet,

870
00:37:58,719 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 3: have we.

871
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,800
Speaker 4: He's just no, she just said. But I think before

872
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 4: he was like, that's just how shy. Now he's like, Okay,

873
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 4: I understand this is a problem. Yeah, which is frustrating

874
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,879
Speaker 4: that it took this long, But you know, at least

875
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 4: we're finally here.

876
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 2: Right, because it's like, you can make jokes like that

877
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:19,280
Speaker 2: and like it's okay to make you know, teasing jokes

878
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,839
Speaker 2: are kind of like funny, spicy jokes with friends if

879
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 2: you want to.

880
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 4: I think are this whole household does that? Yeah?

881
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 3: Absolutely? Yeah.

882
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 4: Update. He spoke with three of his friends for advice.

883
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,799
Speaker 4: Ryan believes that's just who she is. She's only rude

884
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,879
Speaker 4: because she's awkward and doesn't mean it. I don't think

885
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 4: that's a good enough excuse. She ignores me because she

886
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 4: doesn't like getting to know new people. It's a fact

887
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 4: our kids would not look like me. Why is that

888
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 4: a common A big deal? I also hate that he's

889
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 4: like saying, that's true. Your kids will look like her.

890
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 4: Your kids will look like her. She's always acted flirtatious

891
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 4: and it's not weird. He agreed, if it bothered me

892
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 4: to this extent, that Daniel should talk to her and

893
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 4: a fine stronger boundaries and change the relationship. He asked Patrick,

894
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 4: close friend from work, his opinion. He has never met

895
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 4: any of the group member and has an outside opinion.

896
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,359
Speaker 4: Patrick has always had close female friends growing up. When

897
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 4: he gets a girlfriend, he reaches out to his friends

898
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 4: and lets him know that he still cares, but their

899
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 4: dynamic has to change. But like, what was your dynamic before?

900
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:22,400
Speaker 4: Because like, personally, I don't think, like really, any of

901
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:25,240
Speaker 4: my friend's dynamics would have to change.

902
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 3: They're talking about this dynamic with Carrie.

903
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,960
Speaker 4: No, you know, he's saying that he has another friend Patrick,

904
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 4: who whenever he gets a girlfriend, he tells his female

905
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 4: friends that their dynamic has to change. Yeah, that was

906
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 4: your dynamic before.

907
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, unless your dynamic was like, oh we're flirting, we're flirting,

908
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,800
Speaker 2: or like our dynamic is we're friends with benefits. Yeah

909
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 2: that's yeah, sure, but it's like if it's just because

910
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 2: you're just friends, like, yeah, no, I don't know.

911
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 4: I'm wondering what you had to change? Yeah, he reached

912
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 4: out to Emma. Emma has noticed the weird dynamic before

913
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 4: I came into the picture, Carrie had always tried to

914
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 4: isolate Brian and Daniel. When the five of them hung out,

915
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,719
Speaker 4: Carrie would only hang all over the two of them.

916
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 4: She can't be certain if she has a crush on

917
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 4: either Brian or Daniel, but the relationship was not normal.

918
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,720
Speaker 4: Emma noticed Carrie would pull back from conversations when Brian

919
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 4: and Daniel would talk to his girlfriend or I. Emma

920
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 4: also found it weird that to hate Brian's girlfriend without

921
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 4: meeting her. She was closest to Carrie and was surprised

922
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 4: she acted this way, but believed him. He profusely apologized

923
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:27,279
Speaker 4: to me, told me his friend's insights above. He's going

924
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 4: to talk to Carrie Aline that her actions are not okay.

925
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 4: The relationship is going to change. He agreed that he

926
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:37,440
Speaker 4: will stop using the Trio group chat set hard boundaries.

927
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,319
Speaker 4: If she continues to be rude, he'll stop talking to her.

928
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,239
Speaker 4: I've only interacted with her three times. They had known

929
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 4: each other for a year before I met him. I

930
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:47,879
Speaker 4: think he was blind to her relations I do think

931
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:50,439
Speaker 4: he liked the attention she gave him. I don't believe

932
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 4: he's cheating or whatever with her. I am targeting my

933
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 4: feelings towards him and not just blaming her. He is

934
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 4: not innocent in all of this. I do believe he

935
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 4: is remorseful for not stepping in. Actions speak louder than words.

936
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:05,280
Speaker 4: The trip is in July. We shall see what happens

937
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 4: and there is an update, folks, wows or any I

938
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 4: just want.

939
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 3: To We'll see what happens. But I don't know, man,

940
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 3: I don't know.

941
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,439
Speaker 4: I think good start see how it goes. But yeah,

942
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 4: definitely to make sure that he's on, you know, the

943
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,879
Speaker 4: lookout for other bad behavior, because it seems like he's

944
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 4: very unaware.

945
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:28,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm clearly like if she had to bring this up,

946
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 2: I just carried just to because this doesn't seem like

947
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 2: the kind of behavior that you could just talk to

948
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 2: and then she's just gonna be like, Okay, fine, I'll

949
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 2: change it.

950
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 4: Like I am very hyper aware of changes in relationships

951
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 4: and like maybe it's anxiety, but like I'm like hone

952
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 4: in on slight things like I just like, how do

953
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 4: you not notice?

954
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's just weird. I don't know.

955
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 4: The update to book club is not met in months.

956
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 4: Carrie tries to talk in the group chat, but no

957
00:41:56,640 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 4: one responds. Their whole group blue apart over one. I

958
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 4: feel irrational second hand guilt that it's partially my fault

959
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 4: for their friend group breakdown. I don't regret my decisions,

960
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 4: but if it wasn't for me, they'd still be friends.

961
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 4: Brian still doesn't know she hates his girlfriend without an

962
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 4: effort to even meet her. During the advice talks with Emma,

963
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,600
Speaker 4: as she learned she was invited last minute and was hurt.

964
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,640
Speaker 4: She was local and thought she just got a proximity invite.

965
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:22,840
Speaker 4: She doesn't know. I suggested for her to be invited,

966
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 4: Daniel pushed it. Her own friend Carrie didn't think too Initially,

967
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,400
Speaker 4: Carrie's old roommate Hannah was also in their book club group.

968
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,839
Speaker 4: No one thought to invite her. She was the most hurt.

969
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 4: Brian made a comment about the trip one meeting Emma

970
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 4: message privately asking if she was invited. Daniel reached out immediately,

971
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 4: but it was too late. It turned out Carrie worked

972
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 4: with Hannah's friend and went on and on about the trip.

973
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,400
Speaker 4: Hailey had been upset for weeks. Oh no, the book

974
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 4: club is falling apart. Oh no, how terrible. He finally

975
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 4: called Carrie. He said she did get upset, cried, et cetera,

976
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 4: saying she didn't remember saying the discriminatory comments. That I

977
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 4: offended her by commenting about her parents, teachers, but she

978
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 4: couldn't remember the details.

979
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 3: Oh my god, She's like, I know.

980
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 4: Peter offended me. Don't ask me what she said. I

981
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:07,760
Speaker 4: don't remember.

982
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 3: Must not have been that bad, then, huh.

983
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 4: He said she agreed to touch boundaries, excessive hugging, poking,

984
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 4: eighth grade flirting if they hung out in the group.

985
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 4: He says she doesn't call anymore, and their trio group

986
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 4: chat has been quiet. I feel if roles were reversed

987
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 4: and my friend's girlfriend was upset with me because she

988
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:27,839
Speaker 4: thought there was something more. I would reach out. I'd

989
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:29,839
Speaker 4: explain we got off on the wrong foot, but an

990
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:31,320
Speaker 4: effort for her to get to know me. Do you

991
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 4: have any final thoughts on how this is all shaping out?

992
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 3: It just said that like the book club has to,

993
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 3: you know, feel the round.

994
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 2: This book clubs never last, Like it's we just want

995
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:41,839
Speaker 2: her out of there.

996
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 3: We don't need the whole hole time come apart.

997
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 2: Yeah so that's a big bum ski, but big old bummer.

998
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:48,759
Speaker 1: Yeah.

999
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,320
Speaker 4: I think great that your boyfriends setting up these boundaries.

1000
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's great.

1001
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1002
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 4: I imagine that Carrie's gonna pretty butt hurt and she's

1003
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 4: going to kind of distance herself just because of all

1004
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 4: of this. But we'll see, and we're gonna finish the

1005
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 4: story off. Their big group chat has been radio silent.

1006
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 4: Book clubs and game nights have stopped. Carrie reached out,

1007
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:12,759
Speaker 4: but no one responds. Dang dank wooo oh. She is

1008
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 4: the one who tried to exclude everyone and make it weird,

1009
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 4: thresome trip. The guys didn't try to make it conclusive either.

1010
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 4: Daniel did invite me. I'm the one who pushed it

1011
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 4: to be bigger with everyone without my push, the whole

1012
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,800
Speaker 4: thing would not have exploded. Daniel and I had long

1013
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 4: talks establishing boundaries, and we've worked on the relationship. I

1014
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 4: don't believe he's innocent, but I don't think he did

1015
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 4: it intentionally or maliciously personally. I think he liked the

1016
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 4: attention so didn't shut it down. If he wanted to

1017
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 4: date her, he would have. She's been throwing herself at

1018
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 4: him for a year before he met me. Emma backed

1019
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 4: out of the trip due to work. Bryan's girlfriend got

1020
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 4: a new job and couldn't make it. Carrie felt uncomfortable

1021
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:48,359
Speaker 4: coming and backed out as well. We ended up filling

1022
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 4: the trip with friends of friends. I brought my best

1023
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 4: friend Megan. We had a blast. I highly recommend sandsurfing

1024
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 4: in sand Dude's National Park. So it all worked out

1025
00:44:56,520 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 4: and you didn't have to hang out with Carrie. Wooooo oh.

1026
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:03,320
Speaker 4: He probably feels real bad for like blowing up this friendship,

1027
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,240
Speaker 4: but she didn't carry did exactly.

1028
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,520
Speaker 3: I mean, it had to be done. It had to

1029
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:07,919
Speaker 3: be done.

1030
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 2: You can't stay in that friendship doesn't making you extremely

1031
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 2: uncomfortable because she's being weird and crossing.

1032
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,840
Speaker 4: She's so weirdo. She's weird dude.

1033
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean, it's just because of you that

1034
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 3: it happened.

1035
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,760
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, but it's bound to happen to some byn't

1036
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:23,440
Speaker 2: appen at some.

1037
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 4: Point exactly if it wasn't you with someone else exactly.

1038
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:28,800
Speaker 3: Hey, it's Sam. We're going to get back to these stories.

1039
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 4: But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

1040
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 1: I refuse to have children now. My husband wants to

1041
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:35,760
Speaker 1: open our marriage.

1042
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 4: Stop it.

1043
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 1: My husband, thirty one male, and I twenty nine female,

1044
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 1: have been together for eight years. The last three we've

1045
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: been married, little things keep adding up and I don't

1046
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:47,439
Speaker 1: even know how to approach these issues. He wants kids soon,

1047
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,439
Speaker 1: but I can't trust that he'd support me. I'm trying

1048
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 1: to figure out if I try to work on us

1049
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 1: or just leave. And by the way, this comes from

1050
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 1: user throw Away chronically, and if you want to submit

1051
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:01,759
Speaker 1: your own stories, go to the Honor Slashowcase story time subreddit. Recently,

1052
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:04,319
Speaker 1: as in the last four years, I've been dealing with

1053
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:07,200
Speaker 1: chronic health issues. But just this year alone, I've had

1054
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 1: three surgeries to fix various things for my health. Our

1055
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,280
Speaker 1: spicy sleep life hasn't been good and in a few years.

1056
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: In the few years since I've gotten ill, maybe once

1057
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:20,400
Speaker 1: or twice a month, he's told me that it's not enough,

1058
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 1: and he's feeling rejected and it's making his mental health worse.

1059
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 1: But if we have kids, we won't be able to

1060
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 1: have spicy sleep while I'm recovering, I work five to

1061
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 1: six days a week, twelve hour night shifts in healthcare.

1062
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 1: I am the primary breadwinner in our relationship. He bounces

1063
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,600
Speaker 1: from job to job and recently was unemployed for over

1064
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 1: a year. While he was claiming to be applying to jobs.

1065
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 1: I know the job market is horrible right now, so

1066
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: I wasn't pushing I found out he was lying. He

1067
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 1: hadn't applied for anything in about six months, including the

1068
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: jobs I got him recommended for through some connections I had.

1069
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 1: We got into a massive fight and I basically, and

1070
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:00,919
Speaker 1: I basically told him if he'd didn't have a job

1071
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 1: at the end of the month, I was leaving and

1072
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:06,240
Speaker 1: he could figure out bills himself. Not even a week later,

1073
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 1: he was back working at his old job. I still

1074
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 1: do all the cooking, cleaning in household upkeep. On my

1075
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 1: days off, I spend three to four hours just putting

1076
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:18,720
Speaker 1: everything in order for the week. Even when he wasn't working,

1077
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 1: he wasn't doing anything except playing video games in another

1078
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: room while I slept, So when I'd wake up, there

1079
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 1: would be laundry I'd have to switch, or cat litter

1080
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 1: I'd have to scoop. He wants kids soon, but with

1081
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: my chronic health problems, it's going to make children a

1082
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,080
Speaker 1: really hard process on my body. Lots of health risks,

1083
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 1: and I would basically have to be on bed rest

1084
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 1: the whole time, and in and out of doctor's appointments.

1085
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 1: I couldn't work or do anything really, and I'm just

1086
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 1: scared I won't get the support that I need. I

1087
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 1: don't even know if I want to have kids with

1088
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 1: him anymore. He gets money every month from a settlement,

1089
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 1: and he says it's enough to make up for the

1090
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: income I won't be bringing in if I get pregnant.

1091
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 1: The settlement payout every month is less than one fourth

1092
00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 1: of what I make in two weeks. I feel like

1093
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 1: I'm his mother already. I feel like i'd be one

1094
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:08,400
Speaker 1: of those married, single moms. I've asked about therapy individual

1095
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:11,879
Speaker 1: or couples, and he is dismissive, saying therapy hasn't helped

1096
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 1: in the past, so I've asked about medications, but he

1097
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 1: doesn't want to take a pill every day. I don't

1098
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 1: want to come across as horrible or manipulative, but I'm

1099
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 1: about ready to write out everything I do, bill payments, chores,

1100
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 1: time at work, everything, and have him do it all

1101
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:27,319
Speaker 1: for a month. Then tell me he thinks we can

1102
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 1: have kids right now. Edit a few things, since this

1103
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: is a real story and not AI and I am

1104
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 1: a real person who is making choices in order to

1105
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: keep up with the current economy and situation. I work

1106
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 1: the hours I do so I can build up my

1107
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,279
Speaker 1: paid time off and sick time for my procedure and

1108
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 1: recovery time. Yes, I have FMLA for these, but it

1109
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,359
Speaker 1: only pays out sixty percent of my wage versus one

1110
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:54,400
Speaker 1: hundred percent if I use paid time off over time.

1111
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 1: A cruise paid time off at double the rate and

1112
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:00,320
Speaker 1: pays time and a half. We also have a pickup

1113
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:03,200
Speaker 1: bonus of ten dollars an hour I have been I

1114
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:05,919
Speaker 1: have been working at this hospital since twenty fifteen, as

1115
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 1: a CNA and phlebotomist since twenty eighteen, and an URN

1116
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 1: since twenty twenty. So I have seniority and that comes

1117
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: with benefits. Yay unions. I work night shift because it

1118
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 1: has the flexibility for my schedule and they work with

1119
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,239
Speaker 1: me for my restrictions. I'm lucky enough to work in

1120
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:25,880
Speaker 1: a hospital that uses lifts and is staffed as well

1121
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 1: as can be currently. Shift differential also gives me an

1122
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 1: additional six dollars an hour, and that quickly adds up.

1123
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,080
Speaker 1: My surgeries were a laparoscopic, and recovery time is about

1124
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 1: one to four weeks on average. Surgery one and three

1125
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 1: were both exploratory. My second was to remove a lesion

1126
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 1: on my intestines that connected them to my abdominal law

1127
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 1: as well as assist on my ovary and recovery was

1128
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: four weeks with four more on restrictions. I'm about to

1129
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 1: have a fourth surgery to remove my gallbladder. Recovery is

1130
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 1: one to two weeks with two weeks of recovery. Yes,

1131
00:49:58,080 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 1: I've had a lot of surgeries this year, but I

1132
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 1: have had any before this unless you count Upper and

1133
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 1: Lower gisco's public floor testing, gastrict emptying tests, X ray

1134
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:09,400
Speaker 1: cts and MRI labs, genetic testing and heat A scams,

1135
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 1: or maybe the diet changes and medications that you have

1136
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:15,319
Speaker 1: to be on for months at a time before you

1137
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 1: see any real changes count as well. I don't know.

1138
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,399
Speaker 1: I also have the birth control implant and me coming

1139
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 1: off of that would involve about three different doctors inputs

1140
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:26,359
Speaker 1: and oversight. I blocked all of my husband's accounts and

1141
00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 1: his friend's accounts that I know of. I plan on

1142
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 1: deleting this at some point, but I've just gotten angrier

1143
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 1: with each comment and everything I type out. At this point,

1144
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:36,839
Speaker 1: I don't care if he finds this. Maybe it would

1145
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:38,760
Speaker 1: be a wake up call he needs. Oh it sounds

1146
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:43,320
Speaker 1: like OP is like done with baby and child's husband.

1147
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:48,440
Speaker 4: Please be Donner be done now. You don't need to explain.

1148
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:50,319
Speaker 4: I feel like OP. He keeps trying to convince us,

1149
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 4: and everyone in the comments is probably like, nah, a girl,

1150
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:56,360
Speaker 4: we're convinced, leave him, And she's like, no, I really

1151
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:57,399
Speaker 4: gotta convince you.

1152
00:50:57,440 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 2: No.

1153
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 1: I think that's uh. I think that I think she

1154
00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:02,880
Speaker 1: got there. I hope from the comments comments she's like

1155
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 1: every comment I read, I'm even more upset at my

1156
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:06,800
Speaker 1: bad hotspect.

1157
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, you just got to convince yourself, girl.

1158
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 1: Our wedding was supposed to take place in November of

1159
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:15,400
Speaker 1: twenty twenty that obviously didn't happen. We rescheduled to the

1160
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 1: end of twenty twenty one so we didn't lose deposits.

1161
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:21,280
Speaker 1: He quit his job about two months after our wedding. Well,

1162
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 1: people do things like meal prep for a week and

1163
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:28,319
Speaker 1: find relaxation in cooking. My hospital provides scrubs. When I'm home.

1164
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 1: I have more than six pairs of underwear, so it's

1165
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 1: not like I don't have clothes if I don't do

1166
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 1: laundry every day. And there's the update. I had my

1167
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 1: surgery a few days ago, and since I have time off,

1168
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 1: I figured i'd write an update for anyone curious. It

1169
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 1: will be long, and I apologize. I talked with my

1170
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 1: lawyer last week and the hope is papers are to

1171
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 1: be drafted and he will be formally served when he

1172
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 1: comes back from his work trip in two weeks. On

1173
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:53,160
Speaker 1: one of my days off, I wanted to have a

1174
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 1: discussion about our relationship and it didn't go well. I

1175
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,879
Speaker 1: had spent the night cleaning and getting the house put

1176
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 1: together because my anxiety was so bad. When he woke

1177
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 1: up in the morning, I had breakfast made and we

1178
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 1: made polite small talk. I started the conversation by asking

1179
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: him if he was happy in our relationship. Here's the

1180
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 1: summary of the conversation, me, are you happy like this

1181
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 1: with us? I feel like we're roommates more than a

1182
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 1: married couple.

1183
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 4: I don't think either of us have been happy for

1184
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,840
Speaker 4: a while. I do still love you and want to

1185
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:24,520
Speaker 4: raise children with you. You'll be a great mom. I've

1186
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,320
Speaker 4: been meeting to talk to you about something.

1187
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 5: Okay, do you remember my friends in the city and

1188
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:37,839
Speaker 5: how they were having problems in their relationship after one

1189
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 5: of them came out of ace, how they opened their

1190
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 5: relationship so they could get his needs met.

1191
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,840
Speaker 1: At this point, I was just staring at him, but

1192
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 1: he kept rambling on.

1193
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:53,640
Speaker 6: I've joined some groups online and they said it shaved

1194
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:57,479
Speaker 6: their marriage. And with how much I'm traveling now for work,

1195
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 6: it would be every other two weeks, you know, and

1196
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:02,319
Speaker 6: I'm in this city, so it's not like it would

1197
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 6: be someone you know or whatever.

1198
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 1: Meet what the ELV I mean talking about it?

1199
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:10,480
Speaker 4: We could have a surgate this way.

1200
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 1: I know it would be a lot, but we could.

1201
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:16,320
Speaker 4: Make it work. You're always talking about fostering or adopting,

1202
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 4: and it would just.

1203
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 1: Be like that did you get someone pregnant? Is this

1204
00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 1: your way of telling me you cheat on me when

1205
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 1: you travel for work.

1206
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 2: No?

1207
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:27,320
Speaker 3: No, no, God No.

1208
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,200
Speaker 4: There was one girl at a bar who was flirting

1209
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 4: with me, and it just felt nice to be wanted

1210
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 4: like that.

1211
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 1: Then pulled out his phone and started showing me support

1212
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 1: groups he had joined online for poly people in monogamous relationships.

1213
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:44,480
Speaker 1: There were probably three or four of them that he

1214
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:46,799
Speaker 1: had been texting in for the last few weeks, trying

1215
00:53:46,800 --> 00:53:48,840
Speaker 1: to gain the confidence to talk to me about opening

1216
00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 1: up our relationship. He brought up how he knows I've

1217
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:54,879
Speaker 1: been thinking about switching to travel contracts and I can

1218
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 1: meet people there, but then when we come back home,

1219
00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:00,479
Speaker 1: we're together and married because we still love each other.

1220
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 1: I have nothing against people who are in polly relationships.

1221
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 1: We have friends who are and have met their partners

1222
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 1: and go out all together. It's just not for me.

1223
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 1: When I'm with someone, I want to be only with them,

1224
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:15,200
Speaker 1: and I want to be the only person there with

1225
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:17,719
Speaker 1: I don't want to get tested regularly. I don't want

1226
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:20,720
Speaker 1: to risk surprise pregnancy. I don't want to feel jealous

1227
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:23,760
Speaker 1: or wonder if he's texting another girl while he's supposed

1228
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,440
Speaker 1: to be spending time with me. I let him finish

1229
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:29,120
Speaker 1: his speech before telling him, it hasn't felt like we've

1230
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:33,480
Speaker 1: been married in a long time, and I'm done hearing

1231
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 1: he wanted to see other people. Really obliterated any last

1232
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 1: feelings that I had for him. We both want kids,

1233
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,719
Speaker 1: but our timelines and futures are different now. I asked

1234
00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 1: him to move out, and he didn't seem surprised. I

1235
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:50,680
Speaker 1: drove to my friend's house because I just could not

1236
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 1: be there. We spent the day drinking and talking. Also,

1237
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 1: she is divorcing her ex over his regular corn usage.

1238
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 1: Next day, I came home and he'd moved most of

1239
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:04,800
Speaker 1: his things out. His side of the closet was empty.

1240
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:08,280
Speaker 1: Some wedding photos were gone, and the house felt incredibly empty.

1241
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 1: Even though I was used to being alone when he traveled,

1242
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:13,919
Speaker 1: this was different and my heart hurt. A few days later,

1243
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 1: his mom reached out to check on me. We had

1244
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 1: lunch and talked about everything. She asked if I'd considered

1245
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:21,960
Speaker 1: couples counseling, but I told her I'd been asking for

1246
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:25,880
Speaker 1: that for over a year and he always refused. I explained,

1247
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:29,360
Speaker 1: I can't keep feeling like his mother and supporting everything alone.

1248
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 1: By the end, we were both crying and she hugged

1249
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,240
Speaker 1: me goodbye. He came over the next day to talk

1250
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 1: and it was awkward. He tried to kiss me and

1251
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 1: I turned my head. He apologized for not helping at

1252
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 1: home and said he was looking into a job in

1253
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 1: his field so he wouldn't have to travel. I told

1254
00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:50,120
Speaker 1: him i'd have divorce papers ready soon. Nice. Yeah, don't

1255
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:52,800
Speaker 1: worry about not traveling for me. I'm divorcing you.

1256
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:54,799
Speaker 4: You can travel far far away from me and never come.

1257
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:56,400
Speaker 1: Yes, you can go to you can go get a

1258
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 1: job with Lord Farquad in the far far away land.

1259
00:55:59,360 --> 00:55:59,840
Speaker 4: Please.

1260
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 1: Yes, you can go.

1261
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:04,360
Speaker 4: Drop that ring off at Mordor because I don't want to.

1262
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:05,480
Speaker 1: See it again in the volcano.

1263
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:07,840
Speaker 4: That was really good and I didn't even realize that

1264
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,440
Speaker 4: it would be so good until I had finished it,

1265
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 4: because I was just thinking, like, that's a fart. But

1266
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 4: then I was like the ring.

1267
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:15,720
Speaker 1: Sorry, guys, are you hearing this? Folks?

1268
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 4: I just need to analyze what I.

1269
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 1: Just She's blown away by her own greatness?

1270
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 4: How did I do it?

1271
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:26,440
Speaker 1: Much like, let's not go there, divorce papers ready. I

1272
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 1: helped him pack some things that he'd left and then

1273
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:33,280
Speaker 1: he left again. Good job on divorcing your manchild husband.

1274
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:35,560
Speaker 1: We got there, man, We got there in the end, Yeah,

1275
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:38,920
Speaker 1: we did. We wanted to see, let's, you know, get

1276
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:43,400
Speaker 1: ahead of that. If we got manchild husband for six months,

1277
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 1: talk to him about it at three months.

1278
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 4: I think the theme of this episode of these two

1279
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 4: stories is expediency. Yes, when your partner starts acting crazy,

1280
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,720
Speaker 4: take him to a doctor. When your partner starts sucking,

1281
00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:57,799
Speaker 4: divorce them.

1282
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,040
Speaker 1: At the appointment with the lawyer, we talked about what

1283
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 1: it would look like for the divorce process. Unless he

1284
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:05,360
Speaker 1: wants the house, I plan to buy out his half.

1285
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 1: If I do that, then there's a good chance I

1286
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 1: won't have to pay alimony unless he fights for it.

1287
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 1: He has the potential to make more than me, so

1288
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 1: my lawyer doesn't think I'll have to pay anyway. We

1289
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 1: don't have children unless you count fur babies, and I

1290
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 1: took a pregnancy test recently to confirm that I'm not pregnant,

1291
00:57:22,960 --> 00:57:25,640
Speaker 1: so that won't be a factor. We each own our

1292
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 1: cats and pay for them ourselves. We have a joint savings,

1293
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 1: but I can prove I've been the only one contributing

1294
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 1: for the last two years, so it's likely i'll get

1295
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:38,120
Speaker 1: most of that. I'm not touching it besides for the

1296
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:40,840
Speaker 1: bills for the house for my lawyer's advice. I will

1297
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 1: hopefully have papers for my soon to be ex to

1298
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 1: fill out and if he gets a lawyer to look over.

1299
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:48,240
Speaker 1: My two cats have been laying in bed with me

1300
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 1: and haven't left my side since he left. They're trying

1301
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 1: to make me feel better, but it's hard. My friend,

1302
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 1: who is also getting a divorce, has said that we'll

1303
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 1: have a Hot Girls Summer together and it makes me laugh.

1304
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,840
Speaker 1: But I don't think I'm ready or even close to it.

1305
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to meet new people. I don't want

1306
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 1: to go do first dates again. I think I'm just

1307
00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: gonna be single for a while. That's literally Hot Girl Summer,

1308
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:15,400
Speaker 1: Hot Girl Summer. Hot Girl Summer is about not dating.

1309
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 4: I agree. Yeah, that's the whole point of Hot Girl Summer.

1310
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 4: You don't date, and then by the fall that's when

1311
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 4: you start dating. Yeah.

1312
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 1: Comment number one guy can't do dishes but is ready

1313
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 1: to be a father and sleep with strangers. Okay, bud.

1314
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 1: Yeah even says she'd be a great mother, but nothing

1315
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:34,280
Speaker 1: about him. He was like, Hey, you're taking care of

1316
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 1: me entirely, so I know you can take care of

1317
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:40,000
Speaker 1: him too. This man was never going to do any

1318
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:43,240
Speaker 1: parenting another does see Do we get ope replying here

1319
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 1: at all? No, because we all know. Guess what, guys,

1320
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 1: that guy was a little boo googole got got baby

1321
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:53,600
Speaker 1: man child literally googole got got change my diapers.

1322
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:56,120
Speaker 4: And figure it out what I was ordering here you

1323
00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:59,720
Speaker 4: googoog gaga. No, I was having a lot of trouble

1324
00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:01,800
Speaker 4: trying to think about the story and sushi.

1325
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 1: Let's end it with that fool imploded his marriage and

1326
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:07,240
Speaker 1: then ran home to cry at mommy's house.