WEBVTT - Soul Ties 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.119 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:15.640 and the Black Effect, And just like that, we're back 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:18.200 on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless 0:00:18.200 --> 0:00:21.080 episode which your girl just hilarious. We're gonna jump straight 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:25.239 into just fix My mess now. This is very interesting 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:28.040 because one of my girls sent me something. I'm just 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:30.000 gonna call you my girl, because I don't want to 0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:33.680 see your name. This story is very heartfelt. I definitely 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:38.240 can help you. I think I can. But she sent 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:41.200 in voice notes, which I want to tell you, guys, 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:44.440 if you're listening, that's much easier than me reading your story, 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:47.480 and it also adds more value to your story because 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:50.960 then I get to hear the emotion through your story 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:53.400 that you're telling me. So start sending voice notes if 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:55.360 you want. If you don't want me to hear your voice, 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:57.760 you can send texts. I mean, you know, you can 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:00.720 send messages. You can type it. But I think it's 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:05.199 very interesting and I really love that she sent voice notes. 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:08.080 She does not mind that I put her voice on 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:12.399 my podcast. So she says, Okay, Jess, you already get 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:17.639 you all a drink. This ship about to be crazy, Okay, 0:01:17.720 --> 0:01:20.320 Just so I'm also from the d n V area, 0:01:20.560 --> 0:01:23.160 so let's just get to us. So a little bit 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:25.840 over a year ago, my head met this guy. We 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:28.080 was both working at the same job. He worked the 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:31.360 shift after me, so he would study coming in for 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:33.120 like a good three weeks. He would come in like 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:35.200 twenty minutes early to sit there and talk to me. 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:37.319 You know, he would just chop it up with me 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:39.960 or whatever. So at first, I was like, you know, 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:42.479 I don't really want to talk to him. I had 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:45.319 just already got out of five year relationship, and I 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:47.520 don't want to sound like it always seems like I 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:51.400 need to be in a relationship because I love myself, 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:54.600 but I just love the feeling of being loved by 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:57.520 somebody else because I have so much love, Like I 0:01:57.640 --> 0:02:00.400 have a lot of love to give. But anyway, I 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:04.080 started talking to him, like we get serious fast. So 0:02:04.120 --> 0:02:06.639 I have two children and he has this one child. 0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:10.880 So during our relationship, his baby mother was toxic. She 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:13.960 would call at two am for dick, which he never 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.920 answered it. But it was still very toxic. You know, 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:20.520 it's still disrespectful. Like I try to kind of stay 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:24.640 out of it because they can't co parent for anything. 0:02:24.760 --> 0:02:27.239 So I didn't want to make it worse. But she's 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:29.799 very childish, she's very immature. They have a baby that's 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:33.080 like not even three, so it's already still fresh emotion. 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:36.080 Like I'm very aware, I'm not naive to people's feelings, 0:02:36.080 --> 0:02:40.160 Like I'm a human myself. I understand things. So you know, 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:43.799 she would just do ignorant ship, ratchet ship. She in 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:47.280 real bucket for real. So we're just dealing with that 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:50.280 in our relationship, like everybody's rooting for us to win, 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:53.799 like we're a perfect couple. So about our tenth month in, 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:57.040 remind you, we're only day for eleven months, almost a year. 0:02:57.120 --> 0:03:00.440 So our tenped month in, this girl has a child. 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:02.800 It's a little boy. Come to find out, it is 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:06.200 my boyfriend's and it is also his baby mother's cousin. 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:08.440 And I'm not talking about a cousin on the line. 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:11.200 I'm talking about like because I'm like, y'all got the 0:03:11.240 --> 0:03:13.880 same grandma at the end of the day, Like it's 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:17.040 a big family, but y'all still cousins. So that was 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:19.960 a hard pill to swallow. So I felt like around 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:22.480 like our last month together, like it really made me 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:24.720 step away, Like it really made me step back, and 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:27.440 like I understood, like what kind of man I had 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:29.360 in front of me now, But it was like his 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:33.040 consequences that was catching up to him. So like in 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:36.240 our last month, I was transitioned more from a girlfriend 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:39.480 into more of the friend because I felt like, you know, 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:42.840 everybody has something to say. Everybody has a fucking opinion. 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:46.200 Everybody has to speak on something, whether it is or 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:49.120 it's not. You know, if if it's writer, it's wrong. 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:50.880 You know you should have never slept with that girl. 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:52.360 But at the end of the day, that's something that 0:03:52.400 --> 0:03:57.680 you made that cannot be undone. So like it's really 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:01.840 have driven us in between each other. But honestly, and 0:04:01.920 --> 0:04:05.960 nobody even knows this, my mom does. But I still 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:09.200 have been seeing him. He told me he haven't went 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:12.080 back with them, but like he's moved away, but when 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.560 he comes here, like I see him, I let him 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:18.000 stay at my house. I fucking retwist his dreads for 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:21.080 him for free, I make dinner for him, I do 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:24.400 wife ship. But I heard that he was also sleeping 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:27.440 with somebody close to my family. So and now it's 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:31.200 like it's a vicious cycle going on. Like I kind 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:33.200 of knew from day one, like maybe I should have 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:35.599 talked to him, but I gave up a chance. But 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:37.919 now I was like, you're sleeping with my cousin, And 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:42.320 it's just crazy because like he projects all his tendencies 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:44.680 and his ways on the me, so it's like he 0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:47.360 don't understand, like he's telling on himself and I see it, 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:49.240 Like and I asked me if he's sleeping with her. 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:51.719 You know, people say a lot, but as you the 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:53.760 man that I'm sleeping with, like you should be honest 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:55.560 and be able to tell me the truth. But that 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:57.720 cycle that you've been doing, you haven't been able to 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:00.920 be honest with anybody or yourself less be real. So 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:03.159 now I'm kind of at the point like I'm tired 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:06.280 to be in disrespect to Like I know, I don't 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:10.040 hold him down to the world, like I know I'm 0:05:10.080 --> 0:05:13.120 not on broadcast that I see him, but I feel 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:15.240 like it could be very detrimental to me if I 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:18.720 said that, just in the sense that there's no loyalty 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:22.320 with me for me when it comes to the situation, 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:25.360 and it's like when he like writes me, it's like 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:28.040 I'm always the one that steady talking about I miss you. 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:29.960 Where he's always just like I miss you too, but 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:33.480 it's never that sentimental stuff that I'm getting out of him. 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:36.040 And now I was like the text messages like they're 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:40.360 so disrespectful, but it's hard and I don't know if 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:44.640 anybody going to understand me. But like it's so ties evolve, 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:47.680 like I feel like I need to block these, like 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:51.560 I ain't never had a soul tie. And honestly, I've 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:54.240 been in love a lot of times. I've been hurt 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:58.279 a lot of times, but I never haven't had somebody 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:02.560 having so much emotion over me. Like it's just like 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:06.040 able to channel my energy to trigger my energy like 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:10.279 so fast, Like it's really soul times attached, like he 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:12.560 probably know right now I write you on this podcast, 0:06:12.600 --> 0:06:15.440 like it's we're so entwined with each other, like our 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:19.920 frequencies are so crazy in the spiritual room, but here 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:24.880 on earth is fucked up, tough pill to swallow. I 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:27.680 don't know, Joss, tell me what you think got should do. 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.280 I feel like I need to go see somebody like 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:34.640 spiritual and just like have soul ties removed or I 0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:38.760 don't know if it's all over my head, but yeah, okay, 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:42.280 so I'm gonna stop your message right there, because the 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:45.479 last thing that you said is literally what I want 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:48.840 to say to you, what I want you to keep repeating, repeating, repeating, 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:52.080 because you make your reality what it's supposed to be, 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:54.520 not him. You're giving him way too much power over you. 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:57.560 But before I get there, Yes, this is all in 0:06:57.600 --> 0:07:00.640 your head, baby, this ship is in your head. There 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:05.080 is no way that you could be tied equally, yoked, 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:11.480 tied together with a soul like that. You're not even 0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:15.600 getting loyalty reciprocated, like nothing that you do is reciprocated. 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:18.280 As I sit and I kept my mouth shut for 0:07:18.360 --> 0:07:20.960 a long time. That's my third time listening to that. 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:23.520 But I wanted to put it on the podcast, of course, 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:27.640 because that is why you sent it here. Starting from 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:30.640 the beginning, Baby mother calling him at two am for Dick, 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:35.520 you can't even blame her for that. You have him 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:38.080 to blame for that, because she's still getting it. She 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:41.040 never stopped getting it. They just not together, but she 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.400 never stopped getting at Dick. That's why she is so 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:47.640 comfortable calling him all times of night, all times of day, 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:51.640 asking to be fucked. That's never gonna go away as 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:56.040 long as he keeps fucking with her. Nobody's just doing that. Now. 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:59.840 There are baby mother baby father relationships where this happens. 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.400 A woman is delusional and never gets over the guy 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:05.600 and still tries her hand years and years down the 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:10.400 damn line. However, this guy is still dealing with his 0:08:10.440 --> 0:08:14.240 baby mother. Okay, the daughter is three, she's still so 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:17.120 young and precious. You even said it. There are still 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.280 feelings there and you know that. But you are not 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:22.840 one to judge. You're not one to just make that 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:26.800 a deal breaker, although you need to. He's somewhat obligated 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:29.760 to her, and he uses that as leverage to funk 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:32.640 with this girl. And that's why, whether she's a bucket 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:35.199 or a ratchet bitch or a clown or not whatever 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:38.520 bottom mother told him po as bitch, whatever she is, 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:41.880 he gonna keep on fucking with her, so you can't 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:44.840 even get angry with her. Moving on, you said we're 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:47.920 the perfect couple. People are rooting for us. Just because 0:08:47.960 --> 0:08:51.120 someone is rooting for you does not mean that is 0:08:51.120 --> 0:08:55.280 where you need to be. Just because you look like 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:58.319 a perfect couple, just because the image is held up, 0:08:58.760 --> 0:09:01.840 just because he's mine and you sexy, just because the 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:05.480 Dick is good. Just because y'all look good together does 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:07.840 not make y'all a good couple. And I know that's 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:10.880 exactly what you meant when you said people are rooting 0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:13.360 for you. Where the perfect couple? I bet these people 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:15.560 that's doing all the rooting don't know what you just 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:19.320 told me. And when they hear this ship, they're going 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:21.439 to take back all the roots today then put out 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:26.960 there for y'all. All right, another baby, another baby? You 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:29.480 just found out he had an eleven month old by 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:33.000 his baby mother's cousin. You think you sold tied to 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:38.400 somebody like that? No, seriously, you think there's a spiritual 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:42.400 anything and that. No, you said it was a hard 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:46.280 pill to swallow. Why did you swallow it? Why these 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:51.640 are choices. These are choices that you can make or not. 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:55.360 You don't have control over your life right now. That's 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:58.120 the problem. You put it in his hands. You should 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:00.040 have never swallowed the pill. You don't have to. You 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:02.560 also made it a point to say you transitioned from 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:06.440 the girlfriend to the friend, but you didn't. It sounds good. 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:09.120 That's what you may have wanted to do. That's what 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:11.000 you should have done, and you know you should have 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:14.520 you actually shouldn't even be this motherfucker's friend. But you 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:18.760 didn't make the transition because you later on went explaining 0:10:18.920 --> 0:10:22.640 that you still do wife ship for him, even after 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.880 finding out that he even slept with your cousin. And damn, 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:28.839 what kind of cousin is ship ship? We know the 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:31.520 nick ain't no good because he damn show ain't a man. 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:34.640 What the hell is your cousin thinking? That's another story 0:10:35.120 --> 0:10:37.760 either way? Back on you hold up, hold up, I 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:39.800 know the ship getting good, But listen to just a 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:41.760 couple of seconds of a commercial with you love me. 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:47.440 You'll listen. You're still seeing them, and you're ashamed to 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:50.480 let people know. And you know why. You're not gonna 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:52.640 give me no bullshit talking about Oh, I don't care 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:54.800 nobody thinking that. You know, people don't think what they 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:57.240 want to think, and people, the the, the, the, no. 0:10:57.480 --> 0:10:59.559 People care about you. I don't even know you, and 0:10:59.679 --> 0:11:02.839 I care about you. I care so much about you. Yes, 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:07.400 I am judging your ass. I am, I am, and 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.520 only God can judge. But people do it every day. 0:11:10.760 --> 0:11:14.600 It's natural, we do it. I'm judging you because you're 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:17.520 better than this, You're smarter than this. You have to 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:20.240 be because you're telling me everything that I'm telling you. 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:22.800 You just still won't let it go. What needs to happen. 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:27.280 He's lying. You don't want to tell anybody that you're 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:32.240 seeing him because you're belittling yourself even being with him still, 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:35.079 because oh you with him. He ain't only with you, 0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:37.679 but you with him. He has your mind, he has 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:41.520 your body, he has your heart. When somebody got your mind, 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:45.520 that's different. Banks said, I ain't got time for lesl 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:47.240 You know, made my dog walk out the room with 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:50.040 this ship. Look he didn't got up and walked away. 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:54.959 He has your mind. He has so much power over you. 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:58.640 You said he doesn't know loyalty, but your excuse was 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:01.480 he doesn't know how to be loyal to anyone. So 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:04.679 how the hell is that recipe for soul tie? How 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:07.400 do you feel that you two are connected in the 0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:09.680 spiritual realm? You really need to tell me this. I 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:11.400 want you to check back in with me. How do 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:15.800 you feel you're not even his priority? You're not his first, second, 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:19.520 or third priority. You know why because you've made it 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.600 so easy for him to keep playing these fucking games 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:25.720 with you time after time after time. And then the 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:28.840 way you the way you described it, it sounds like 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:30.440 he doesn't even live in the same city as you. 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:33.240 If you can't trust the nigga in the same house 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:35.880 with you, you're never going to be able to trust 0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:39.120 him in the same city with you. Seriously, I want 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:42.040 you to wake up, baby girl. You didn't tell me 0:12:42.080 --> 0:12:44.600 how old you were, but I can honestly tell that 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:47.240 you're young. You're not a baby, but I can tell 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:49.400 that you're still a young lady. You have a lot 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.640 of love to give, and I'm gonna correct you. In 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:54.640 the beginning, you also said, I know it always seems 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:57.160 like that I have to be in a relationship. No, no, no, 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:00.680 it's totally fine. Baby. I'm the same way. I love 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:04.160 myself to death, I do, but I love the feeling 0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:06.480 of someone else loving me as well. So I resonate 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:09.320 with you when I hear you say that I'm always 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:11.840 in a relationship. When the hell have y'all seen just single? 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:14.880 I mean on stage, I'm single because you know I 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:17.120 do a lot of stand up comedy material. You know 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:19.480 that's meant for the stage. So I'm single on stage 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:21.760 when I step off, I'm a girlfriend. I haven't been 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:24.600 in in successful relationships and then something that I have. 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:28.439 I've been cheated on as well as I've been the cheater. 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:31.360 You know, I've been lied to and I've lied to others. 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:35.280 You date, you love being in relationships, it's nothing wrong 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:37.880 with that. You've got some people that loves being single, 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.720 love playing the field. You've got some people that just 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.720 love having sex with multiple people. You've got some people 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:45.719 that just love having the roster of niggas that they 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:48.080 just talked to, don't do nothing with, get money from. 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:51.280 Then you got your people that love being in relationships. 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:54.600 That's me, that's also my sister. My sister has been 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:57.400 on this podcast plenty of times. We're open with our 0:13:57.440 --> 0:14:00.680 business so we can help people like you. Listen, this 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:03.200 is not it because you have to sit and you 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:06.520 have to think, what do you want? How do you feel? 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:09.360 You don't need to go see a professional to release 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:12.360 you from him. You release your damn self. That's it. 0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:15.480 And I know I know you're saying, oh, it's easier 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:18.280 said than done, it's easier said than done. It is, 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:20.880 but if you keep saying it to yourself, you will 0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:23.200 do it. You have to put that in your atmosphere. 0:14:23.400 --> 0:14:28.359 You have to control your own reality, control your own reality, 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:31.440 your own love life. You've never been through anything like this. 0:14:31.560 --> 0:14:34.560 I can tell girl, you sound all congested and ship. 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:38.760 Go blow your damn nose, look in the mirror and 0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:41.400 talk to yourself. You don't even need to do anything 0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:44.160 else from you making dinner, twisting this nigga Dred's and 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:47.160 all of that. He didn't have a baby on you 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.440 had a baby before. You keep sucking a mother fucked 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:53.360 your cousin and you're talking about your soul tied. Get 0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:57.040 yourself together for real and check back. And you need 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:00.800 to leave that ship. Leave it given a man power 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:04.000 over you like that and heat a motherfucking bum. Yes 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.600 he is, he's a bum. You know what I was 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:08.640 gonna tell you when you wrote me for this ship. 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.480 Maybe you just needed to hear it from someone else. 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:15.640 You needed to hear it from me or someone else. 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:20.000 I get it. I see you, I feel you, and listen, 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:23.400 I love you, just from sister to sister. Baby girl, 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.480 I love you, and I'm gonna tell you who else 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:28.240 is gonna love you. The right man out there waiting 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:31.040 for you, not that nigga. There's gonna be a point 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:33.400 in your life where somebody can't wait to talk to you. 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:35.560 Somebody can't wait to see you. Somebody can't wait to 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:38.640 get home to you. Somebody can't wait to put a 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:40.320 baby and you. Somebody can't wait to put a ring 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.720 on your fucking finger. There's gonna be a time I'm 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:46.520 telling you right now that ain't gonna be with him 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:50.320 all right now when you meet the person that you're 0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:52.720 really gonna be so tit with. That don't mean that 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.120 he's gonna be perfect either, but he damn sure ain't 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:59.440 gonna be this nigga. So don't look for perfection. Obviously, 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:01.480 you ain't been looking for that ship. You've been looking 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:03.600 for the bottom of the most bottom of sniggers. But 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:07.880 work on yourself. Take a break because you are mentally drained. 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:10.360 Some abou ch'all soul tide girl. He's sucking your soul. 0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:13.520 He is a soul sucker. That's why you feel like 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:16.560 your soul is tied to him and we're we're operating 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:21.080 on the same frequency. No, you're not, No, you're not somebody. 0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:24.080 He probably know that you're writing me for this podcast. Yeah, 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.480 he probably know, because he know everything about you. You 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:29.920 don't know his next move. I guarantee you you don't. 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:32.720 That's when you soul tied. When you can answer a 0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:35.120 question for a motherfucker, when you can think for another 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.480 motherfucker that that's when you sold tied with somebody that's 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:41.480 a soul mate. I can make decisions on behalf of 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:44.200 my soul mate when he's not here that you can't 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:46.560 do that with him. He can do that for you 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:50.240 because you put everything in his hands. You've given him 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:53.680 everything to destroy you. And the only way somebody can 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:57.280 destroy you is if you give them everything. And you've 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:00.200 given them everything you, he has nothing else to ache 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:02.760 from you. So he plays with that and he holds 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:04.240 it over your head because you know you're gonna be 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:08.119 there with your arms wide the funk open, understanding everything. 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:12.000 Get your life together, seriously, your love life. That is 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:14.679 not your whole life. But ship girl, check back in 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:19.119 with me. Ship that's almost the whole damn podcast. I 0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:22.399 can't believe that ship. I'm gonna do one more because 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:25.320 she didn't took up all y'all's time, y'all, but she 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:28.200 needed some fixing. I'm gonna read one more story than 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:30.720 we out of here. Hey, Joss, I hope you're able 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.639 to take this one huge fan of the podcast. Thank you, baby. 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:36.159 I have a situation i'd like to get your opinion on. 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:38.080 I've been with my man for a little over two 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:41.399 years now, and he is amazing. We lived together and 0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:44.760 he's a great step dad to my five year old son. Well, 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:48.560 he has a best friend, white girl for contacts, that 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:52.159 he's really close to. They've been friends for years, and 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:55.200 she calls him brother. Once I came around, he introduced 0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:57.040 me to her and we were cool. But I have 0:17:57.080 --> 0:17:58.959 a gut feeling that she has a thing for him 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:01.160 now that he's in a relation and ship. Nothing has 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:03.840 happened thus far, but it's in my guts. Well, then 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.760 you're most likely right. I've asked him about it and 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:09.320 he says that they've never had a thing and he 0:18:09.320 --> 0:18:11.760 would never go there with her. He's always telling me 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:14.359 that she's looking for a rich man, even if he's married, 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:18.080 et cetera. Am I wrong for feeling uneasy about this, 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:21.199 even though he has reassured me should I bust this 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:25.080 ship up? Thanks again for taking my dilemma. Love Love 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:28.439 Love the podcast. Also, both him and I are black. 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:31.480 I didn't mention that above, Okay, I mean I figured 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.800 that when you said his best friend was white. I mean, 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:37.400 you would have told me that your boyfriend was white. Okay, 0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:40.600 So I really honestly don't feel like this is a really, 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:44.520 really bad thing. Now. What can be happening is, yes, 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:46.679 she has a thing for him, but he doesn't have 0:18:46.720 --> 0:18:50.080 a thing for her. I'm not trying to be, you know, 0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:52.200 one of them, but you know they love our men 0:18:52.680 --> 0:18:55.400 the white easy. Yes they do. That don't mean that 0:18:55.720 --> 0:18:58.800 he's attracted to her just because she's attracted to him. 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:00.879 She may have had a thing for him. No, I 0:19:00.920 --> 0:19:03.080 don't think that they've done anything. I think I don't 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:05.320 think he would lie about it. Have you ever had 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:09.360 a conversation with her? Just y'all too alone about the ship? 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:11.399 Have you ever bought it up? I don't think you 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:13.960 should go busting up and up, crazy ass. I don't. 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:16.119 I think you should take your man's word, but I 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:18.840 do think that you should also tell him again just 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:22.520 revisit the idea, but revisit it in a different way. Say, listen, 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:24.879 I do believe you, and this is only if you 0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:28.280 do believe that. I believe you. Baby. I did ask you, 0:19:28.359 --> 0:19:32.280 did you have any previous intimate connections with your best 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:34.400 friend or was it just strictly best friends for you? 0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:37.480 And I believed you when you told me no, But 0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:39.679 I don't think it's the same on her end. I 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:41.399 think that she has a thing for you. And although 0:19:41.440 --> 0:19:43.320 you tell me that she's looking for rich niggas and 0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:45.639 all that type of ship and married niggas and she 0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:48.199 just all out there and ship, I still want you 0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:50.600 to know that doesn't negate the fact that she still 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:53.199 may have a thing for you her best friend, and 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:57.359 she's probably so used to him being single or being 0:19:57.359 --> 0:19:59.960 in between relationships or whatever, she just may like him 0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:03.200 better when he's single. She may feel like she's closer 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:06.480 to having a chance or whatever. You can't blame him 0:20:06.480 --> 0:20:08.480 for that, though, and you didn't say that you did. 0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:11.040 I'm just letting you know you can't blame him for that. 0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:12.639 But I think you should sit down and have a 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:15.320 conversation with him and tell him, Look, I want to 0:20:15.359 --> 0:20:16.680 talk to her, or I think that you used to 0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:19.359 keep an eye open her, or I'm just uncomfortable with 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:21.320 the bitch being your best friend period, although she was 0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:24.119 before me. I have a gut feeling, and when women 0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:27.640 have gut feelings, honey, we'll be right for the most part, 0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:29.520 all right, because I've been not and had some ship 0:20:29.600 --> 0:20:31.560 in my gut a couple of times, and I wasn't 0:20:31.640 --> 0:20:34.520