1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,119 Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: and the Black Effect, And just like that, we're back 3 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless 4 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:21,080 Speaker 1: episode which your girl just hilarious. We're gonna jump straight 5 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:25,239 Speaker 1: into just fix My mess now. This is very interesting 6 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: because one of my girls sent me something. I'm just 7 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: gonna call you my girl, because I don't want to 8 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: see your name. This story is very heartfelt. I definitely 9 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:38,240 Speaker 1: can help you. I think I can. But she sent 10 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:41,200 Speaker 1: in voice notes, which I want to tell you, guys, 11 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: if you're listening, that's much easier than me reading your story, 12 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,480 Speaker 1: and it also adds more value to your story because 13 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 1: then I get to hear the emotion through your story 14 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: that you're telling me. So start sending voice notes if 15 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: you want. If you don't want me to hear your voice, 16 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: you can send texts. I mean, you know, you can 17 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: send messages. You can type it. But I think it's 18 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:05,199 Speaker 1: very interesting and I really love that she sent voice notes. 19 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: She does not mind that I put her voice on 20 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:12,399 Speaker 1: my podcast. So she says, Okay, Jess, you already get 21 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:17,639 Speaker 1: you all a drink. This ship about to be crazy, Okay, 22 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,320 Speaker 1: Just so I'm also from the d n V area, 23 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: so let's just get to us. So a little bit 24 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: over a year ago, my head met this guy. We 25 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 1: was both working at the same job. He worked the 26 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: shift after me, so he would study coming in for 27 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 1: like a good three weeks. He would come in like 28 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 1: twenty minutes early to sit there and talk to me. 29 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 1: You know, he would just chop it up with me 30 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,960 Speaker 1: or whatever. So at first, I was like, you know, 31 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,479 Speaker 1: I don't really want to talk to him. I had 32 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,319 Speaker 1: just already got out of five year relationship, and I 33 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: don't want to sound like it always seems like I 34 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: need to be in a relationship because I love myself, 35 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: but I just love the feeling of being loved by 36 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: somebody else because I have so much love, Like I 37 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 1: have a lot of love to give. But anyway, I 38 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: started talking to him, like we get serious fast. So 39 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,639 Speaker 1: I have two children and he has this one child. 40 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,880 Speaker 1: So during our relationship, his baby mother was toxic. She 41 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 1: would call at two am for dick, which he never 42 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,920 Speaker 1: answered it. But it was still very toxic. You know, 43 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: it's still disrespectful. Like I try to kind of stay 44 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:24,640 Speaker 1: out of it because they can't co parent for anything. 45 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,239 Speaker 1: So I didn't want to make it worse. But she's 46 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,799 Speaker 1: very childish, she's very immature. They have a baby that's 47 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,080 Speaker 1: like not even three, so it's already still fresh emotion. 48 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 1: Like I'm very aware, I'm not naive to people's feelings, 49 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: Like I'm a human myself. I understand things. So you know, 50 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,799 Speaker 1: she would just do ignorant ship, ratchet ship. She in 51 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 1: real bucket for real. So we're just dealing with that 52 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: in our relationship, like everybody's rooting for us to win, 53 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:53,799 Speaker 1: like we're a perfect couple. So about our tenth month in, 54 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: remind you, we're only day for eleven months, almost a year. 55 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 1: So our tenped month in, this girl has a child. 56 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 1: It's a little boy. Come to find out, it is 57 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: my boyfriend's and it is also his baby mother's cousin. 58 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: And I'm not talking about a cousin on the line. 59 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: I'm talking about like because I'm like, y'all got the 60 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: same grandma at the end of the day, Like it's 61 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 1: a big family, but y'all still cousins. So that was 62 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: a hard pill to swallow. So I felt like around 63 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: like our last month together, like it really made me 64 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: step away, Like it really made me step back, and 65 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: like I understood, like what kind of man I had 66 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 1: in front of me now, But it was like his 67 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: consequences that was catching up to him. So like in 68 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: our last month, I was transitioned more from a girlfriend 69 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: into more of the friend because I felt like, you know, 70 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: everybody has something to say. Everybody has a fucking opinion. 71 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 1: Everybody has to speak on something, whether it is or 72 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: it's not. You know, if if it's writer, it's wrong. 73 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,880 Speaker 1: You know you should have never slept with that girl. 74 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, that's something that 75 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: you made that cannot be undone. So like it's really 76 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: have driven us in between each other. But honestly, and 77 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: nobody even knows this, my mom does. But I still 78 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 1: have been seeing him. He told me he haven't went 79 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: back with them, but like he's moved away, but when 80 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: he comes here, like I see him, I let him 81 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: stay at my house. I fucking retwist his dreads for 82 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: him for free, I make dinner for him, I do 83 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: wife ship. But I heard that he was also sleeping 84 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: with somebody close to my family. So and now it's 85 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: like it's a vicious cycle going on. Like I kind 86 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: of knew from day one, like maybe I should have 87 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,599 Speaker 1: talked to him, but I gave up a chance. But 88 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,919 Speaker 1: now I was like, you're sleeping with my cousin, And 89 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 1: it's just crazy because like he projects all his tendencies 90 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: and his ways on the me, so it's like he 91 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 1: don't understand, like he's telling on himself and I see it, 92 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 1: Like and I asked me if he's sleeping with her. 93 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,719 Speaker 1: You know, people say a lot, but as you the 94 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: man that I'm sleeping with, like you should be honest 95 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 1: and be able to tell me the truth. But that 96 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 1: cycle that you've been doing, you haven't been able to 97 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: be honest with anybody or yourself less be real. So 98 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,159 Speaker 1: now I'm kind of at the point like I'm tired 99 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 1: to be in disrespect to Like I know, I don't 100 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:10,040 Speaker 1: hold him down to the world, like I know I'm 101 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: not on broadcast that I see him, but I feel 102 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: like it could be very detrimental to me if I 103 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,720 Speaker 1: said that, just in the sense that there's no loyalty 104 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: with me for me when it comes to the situation, 105 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: and it's like when he like writes me, it's like 106 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,040 Speaker 1: I'm always the one that steady talking about I miss you. 107 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: Where he's always just like I miss you too, but 108 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 1: it's never that sentimental stuff that I'm getting out of him. 109 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 1: And now I was like the text messages like they're 110 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:40,360 Speaker 1: so disrespectful, but it's hard and I don't know if 111 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: anybody going to understand me. But like it's so ties evolve, 112 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 1: like I feel like I need to block these, like 113 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: I ain't never had a soul tie. And honestly, I've 114 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 1: been in love a lot of times. I've been hurt 115 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 1: a lot of times, but I never haven't had somebody 116 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 1: having so much emotion over me. Like it's just like 117 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 1: able to channel my energy to trigger my energy like 118 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:10,279 Speaker 1: so fast, Like it's really soul times attached, like he 119 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 1: probably know right now I write you on this podcast, 120 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: like it's we're so entwined with each other, like our 121 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 1: frequencies are so crazy in the spiritual room, but here 122 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 1: on earth is fucked up, tough pill to swallow. I 123 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 1: don't know, Joss, tell me what you think got should do. 124 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,280 Speaker 1: I feel like I need to go see somebody like 125 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: spiritual and just like have soul ties removed or I 126 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: don't know if it's all over my head, but yeah, okay, 127 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,280 Speaker 1: so I'm gonna stop your message right there, because the 128 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,479 Speaker 1: last thing that you said is literally what I want 129 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 1: to say to you, what I want you to keep repeating, repeating, repeating, 130 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: because you make your reality what it's supposed to be, 131 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: not him. You're giving him way too much power over you. 132 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 1: But before I get there, Yes, this is all in 133 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: your head, baby, this ship is in your head. There 134 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 1: is no way that you could be tied equally, yoked, 135 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 1: tied together with a soul like that. You're not even 136 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 1: getting loyalty reciprocated, like nothing that you do is reciprocated. 137 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: As I sit and I kept my mouth shut for 138 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 1: a long time. That's my third time listening to that. 139 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: But I wanted to put it on the podcast, of course, 140 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: because that is why you sent it here. Starting from 141 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 1: the beginning, Baby mother calling him at two am for Dick, 142 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: you can't even blame her for that. You have him 143 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: to blame for that, because she's still getting it. She 144 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 1: never stopped getting it. They just not together, but she 145 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 1: never stopped getting at Dick. That's why she is so 146 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: comfortable calling him all times of night, all times of day, 147 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 1: asking to be fucked. That's never gonna go away as 148 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 1: long as he keeps fucking with her. Nobody's just doing that. Now. 149 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: There are baby mother baby father relationships where this happens. 150 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: A woman is delusional and never gets over the guy 151 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 1: and still tries her hand years and years down the 152 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: damn line. However, this guy is still dealing with his 153 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: baby mother. Okay, the daughter is three, she's still so 154 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 1: young and precious. You even said it. There are still 155 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: feelings there and you know that. But you are not 156 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: one to judge. You're not one to just make that 157 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: a deal breaker, although you need to. He's somewhat obligated 158 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: to her, and he uses that as leverage to funk 159 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,640 Speaker 1: with this girl. And that's why, whether she's a bucket 160 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,199 Speaker 1: or a ratchet bitch or a clown or not whatever 161 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: bottom mother told him po as bitch, whatever she is, 162 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 1: he gonna keep on fucking with her, so you can't 163 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: even get angry with her. Moving on, you said we're 164 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: the perfect couple. People are rooting for us. Just because 165 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: someone is rooting for you does not mean that is 166 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: where you need to be. Just because you look like 167 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,319 Speaker 1: a perfect couple, just because the image is held up, 168 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 1: just because he's mine and you sexy, just because the 169 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 1: Dick is good. Just because y'all look good together does 170 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:07,840 Speaker 1: not make y'all a good couple. And I know that's 171 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: exactly what you meant when you said people are rooting 172 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 1: for you. Where the perfect couple? I bet these people 173 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,560 Speaker 1: that's doing all the rooting don't know what you just 174 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,320 Speaker 1: told me. And when they hear this ship, they're going 175 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,439 Speaker 1: to take back all the roots today then put out 176 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 1: there for y'all. All right, another baby, another baby? You 177 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 1: just found out he had an eleven month old by 178 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,000 Speaker 1: his baby mother's cousin. You think you sold tied to 179 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: somebody like that? No, seriously, you think there's a spiritual 180 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: anything and that. No, you said it was a hard 181 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: pill to swallow. Why did you swallow it? Why these 182 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: are choices. These are choices that you can make or not. 183 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 1: You don't have control over your life right now. That's 184 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: the problem. You put it in his hands. You should 185 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,040 Speaker 1: have never swallowed the pill. You don't have to. You 186 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 1: also made it a point to say you transitioned from 187 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 1: the girlfriend to the friend, but you didn't. It sounds good. 188 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:09,120 Speaker 1: That's what you may have wanted to do. That's what 189 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: you should have done, and you know you should have 190 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 1: you actually shouldn't even be this motherfucker's friend. But you 191 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 1: didn't make the transition because you later on went explaining 192 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 1: that you still do wife ship for him, even after 193 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 1: finding out that he even slept with your cousin. And damn, 194 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,839 Speaker 1: what kind of cousin is ship ship? We know the 195 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: nick ain't no good because he damn show ain't a man. 196 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: What the hell is your cousin thinking? That's another story 197 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 1: either way? Back on you hold up, hold up, I 198 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 1: know the ship getting good, But listen to just a 199 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: couple of seconds of a commercial with you love me. 200 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: You'll listen. You're still seeing them, and you're ashamed to 201 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: let people know. And you know why. You're not gonna 202 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 1: give me no bullshit talking about Oh, I don't care 203 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: nobody thinking that. You know, people don't think what they 204 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 1: want to think, and people, the the, the, the, no. 205 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,559 Speaker 1: People care about you. I don't even know you, and 206 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:02,839 Speaker 1: I care about you. I care so much about you. Yes, 207 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: I am judging your ass. I am, I am, and 208 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: only God can judge. But people do it every day. 209 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 1: It's natural, we do it. I'm judging you because you're 210 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,520 Speaker 1: better than this, You're smarter than this. You have to 211 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 1: be because you're telling me everything that I'm telling you. 212 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 1: You just still won't let it go. What needs to happen. 213 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 1: He's lying. You don't want to tell anybody that you're 214 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 1: seeing him because you're belittling yourself even being with him still, 215 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,079 Speaker 1: because oh you with him. He ain't only with you, 216 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,679 Speaker 1: but you with him. He has your mind, he has 217 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: your body, he has your heart. When somebody got your mind, 218 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: that's different. Banks said, I ain't got time for lesl 219 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,240 Speaker 1: You know, made my dog walk out the room with 220 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: this ship. Look he didn't got up and walked away. 221 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:54,959 Speaker 1: He has your mind. He has so much power over you. 222 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 1: You said he doesn't know loyalty, but your excuse was 223 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: he doesn't know how to be loyal to anyone. So 224 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,679 Speaker 1: how the hell is that recipe for soul tie? How 225 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,400 Speaker 1: do you feel that you two are connected in the 226 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,680 Speaker 1: spiritual realm? You really need to tell me this. I 227 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 1: want you to check back in with me. How do 228 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 1: you feel you're not even his priority? You're not his first, second, 229 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 1: or third priority. You know why because you've made it 230 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,600 Speaker 1: so easy for him to keep playing these fucking games 231 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 1: with you time after time after time. And then the 232 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: way you the way you described it, it sounds like 233 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,440 Speaker 1: he doesn't even live in the same city as you. 234 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 1: If you can't trust the nigga in the same house 235 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 1: with you, you're never going to be able to trust 236 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: him in the same city with you. Seriously, I want 237 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 1: you to wake up, baby girl. You didn't tell me 238 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,600 Speaker 1: how old you were, but I can honestly tell that 239 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 1: you're young. You're not a baby, but I can tell 240 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 1: that you're still a young lady. You have a lot 241 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,640 Speaker 1: of love to give, and I'm gonna correct you. In 242 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 1: the beginning, you also said, I know it always seems 243 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: like that I have to be in a relationship. No, no, no, 244 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:00,680 Speaker 1: it's totally fine. Baby. I'm the same way. I love 245 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: myself to death, I do, but I love the feeling 246 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: of someone else loving me as well. So I resonate 247 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:09,320 Speaker 1: with you when I hear you say that I'm always 248 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 1: in a relationship. When the hell have y'all seen just single? 249 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: I mean on stage, I'm single because you know I 250 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 1: do a lot of stand up comedy material. You know 251 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: that's meant for the stage. So I'm single on stage 252 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 1: when I step off, I'm a girlfriend. I haven't been 253 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 1: in in successful relationships and then something that I have. 254 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:28,439 Speaker 1: I've been cheated on as well as I've been the cheater. 255 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 1: You know, I've been lied to and I've lied to others. 256 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 1: You date, you love being in relationships, it's nothing wrong 257 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,880 Speaker 1: with that. You've got some people that loves being single, 258 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 1: love playing the field. You've got some people that just 259 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 1: love having sex with multiple people. You've got some people 260 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,719 Speaker 1: that just love having the roster of niggas that they 261 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,080 Speaker 1: just talked to, don't do nothing with, get money from. 262 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: Then you got your people that love being in relationships. 263 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,600 Speaker 1: That's me, that's also my sister. My sister has been 264 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 1: on this podcast plenty of times. We're open with our 265 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,680 Speaker 1: business so we can help people like you. Listen, this 266 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,200 Speaker 1: is not it because you have to sit and you 267 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 1: have to think, what do you want? How do you feel? 268 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 1: You don't need to go see a professional to release 269 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 1: you from him. You release your damn self. That's it. 270 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 1: And I know I know you're saying, oh, it's easier 271 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 1: said than done, it's easier said than done. It is, 272 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: but if you keep saying it to yourself, you will 273 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: do it. You have to put that in your atmosphere. 274 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:28,359 Speaker 1: You have to control your own reality, control your own reality, 275 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: your own love life. You've never been through anything like this. 276 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 1: I can tell girl, you sound all congested and ship. 277 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: Go blow your damn nose, look in the mirror and 278 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: talk to yourself. You don't even need to do anything 279 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 1: else from you making dinner, twisting this nigga Dred's and 280 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 1: all of that. He didn't have a baby on you 281 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,440 Speaker 1: had a baby before. You keep sucking a mother fucked 282 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 1: your cousin and you're talking about your soul tied. Get 283 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:57,040 Speaker 1: yourself together for real and check back. And you need 284 00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 1: to leave that ship. Leave it given a man power 285 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,000 Speaker 1: over you like that and heat a motherfucking bum. Yes 286 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 1: he is, he's a bum. You know what I was 287 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: gonna tell you when you wrote me for this ship. 288 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: Maybe you just needed to hear it from someone else. 289 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 1: You needed to hear it from me or someone else. 290 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 1: I get it. I see you, I feel you, and listen, 291 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: I love you, just from sister to sister. Baby girl, 292 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: I love you, and I'm gonna tell you who else 293 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: is gonna love you. The right man out there waiting 294 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 1: for you, not that nigga. There's gonna be a point 295 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,400 Speaker 1: in your life where somebody can't wait to talk to you. 296 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: Somebody can't wait to see you. Somebody can't wait to 297 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: get home to you. Somebody can't wait to put a 298 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: baby and you. Somebody can't wait to put a ring 299 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: on your fucking finger. There's gonna be a time I'm 300 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: telling you right now that ain't gonna be with him 301 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 1: all right now when you meet the person that you're 302 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 1: really gonna be so tit with. That don't mean that 303 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 1: he's gonna be perfect either, but he damn sure ain't 304 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 1: gonna be this nigga. So don't look for perfection. Obviously, 305 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 1: you ain't been looking for that ship. You've been looking 306 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 1: for the bottom of the most bottom of sniggers. But 307 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: work on yourself. Take a break because you are mentally drained. 308 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,360 Speaker 1: Some abou ch'all soul tide girl. He's sucking your soul. 309 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 1: He is a soul sucker. That's why you feel like 310 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 1: your soul is tied to him and we're we're operating 311 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 1: on the same frequency. No, you're not, No, you're not somebody. 312 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 1: He probably know that you're writing me for this podcast. Yeah, 313 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 1: he probably know, because he know everything about you. You 314 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,920 Speaker 1: don't know his next move. I guarantee you you don't. 315 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: That's when you soul tied. When you can answer a 316 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 1: question for a motherfucker, when you can think for another 317 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: motherfucker that that's when you sold tied with somebody that's 318 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,480 Speaker 1: a soul mate. I can make decisions on behalf of 319 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 1: my soul mate when he's not here that you can't 320 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,560 Speaker 1: do that with him. He can do that for you 321 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 1: because you put everything in his hands. You've given him 322 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 1: everything to destroy you. And the only way somebody can 323 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: destroy you is if you give them everything. And you've 324 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,200 Speaker 1: given them everything you, he has nothing else to ache 325 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: from you. So he plays with that and he holds 326 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,240 Speaker 1: it over your head because you know you're gonna be 327 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:08,119 Speaker 1: there with your arms wide the funk open, understanding everything. 328 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,000 Speaker 1: Get your life together, seriously, your love life. That is 329 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,679 Speaker 1: not your whole life. But ship girl, check back in 330 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:19,119 Speaker 1: with me. Ship that's almost the whole damn podcast. I 331 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,399 Speaker 1: can't believe that ship. I'm gonna do one more because 332 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,320 Speaker 1: she didn't took up all y'all's time, y'all, but she 333 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 1: needed some fixing. I'm gonna read one more story than 334 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,720 Speaker 1: we out of here. Hey, Joss, I hope you're able 335 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,639 Speaker 1: to take this one huge fan of the podcast. Thank you, baby. 336 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,159 Speaker 1: I have a situation i'd like to get your opinion on. 337 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 1: I've been with my man for a little over two 338 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 1: years now, and he is amazing. We lived together and 339 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 1: he's a great step dad to my five year old son. Well, 340 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: he has a best friend, white girl for contacts, that 341 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:52,159 Speaker 1: he's really close to. They've been friends for years, and 342 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,200 Speaker 1: she calls him brother. Once I came around, he introduced 343 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: me to her and we were cool. But I have 344 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,959 Speaker 1: a gut feeling that she has a thing for him 345 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,160 Speaker 1: now that he's in a relation and ship. Nothing has 346 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 1: happened thus far, but it's in my guts. Well, then 347 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: you're most likely right. I've asked him about it and 348 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 1: he says that they've never had a thing and he 349 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,760 Speaker 1: would never go there with her. He's always telling me 350 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: that she's looking for a rich man, even if he's married, 351 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 1: et cetera. Am I wrong for feeling uneasy about this, 352 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:21,199 Speaker 1: even though he has reassured me should I bust this 353 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 1: ship up? Thanks again for taking my dilemma. Love Love 354 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,439 Speaker 1: Love the podcast. Also, both him and I are black. 355 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 1: I didn't mention that above, Okay, I mean I figured 356 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: that when you said his best friend was white. I mean, 357 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,400 Speaker 1: you would have told me that your boyfriend was white. Okay, 358 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 1: So I really honestly don't feel like this is a really, 359 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,520 Speaker 1: really bad thing. Now. What can be happening is, yes, 360 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,679 Speaker 1: she has a thing for him, but he doesn't have 361 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 1: a thing for her. I'm not trying to be, you know, 362 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,200 Speaker 1: one of them, but you know they love our men 363 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,400 Speaker 1: the white easy. Yes they do. That don't mean that 364 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,800 Speaker 1: he's attracted to her just because she's attracted to him. 365 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,879 Speaker 1: She may have had a thing for him. No, I 366 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: don't think that they've done anything. I think I don't 367 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,320 Speaker 1: think he would lie about it. Have you ever had 368 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:09,360 Speaker 1: a conversation with her? Just y'all too alone about the ship? 369 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,399 Speaker 1: Have you ever bought it up? I don't think you 370 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 1: should go busting up and up, crazy ass. I don't. 371 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,119 Speaker 1: I think you should take your man's word, but I 372 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 1: do think that you should also tell him again just 373 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 1: revisit the idea, but revisit it in a different way. Say, listen, 374 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,879 Speaker 1: I do believe you, and this is only if you 375 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 1: do believe that. I believe you. Baby. I did ask you, 376 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 1: did you have any previous intimate connections with your best 377 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,400 Speaker 1: friend or was it just strictly best friends for you? 378 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 1: And I believed you when you told me no, But 379 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,679 Speaker 1: I don't think it's the same on her end. I 380 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,399 Speaker 1: think that she has a thing for you. And although 381 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 1: you tell me that she's looking for rich niggas and 382 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 1: all that type of ship and married niggas and she 383 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,199 Speaker 1: just all out there and ship, I still want you 384 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: to know that doesn't negate the fact that she still 385 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,199 Speaker 1: may have a thing for you her best friend, and 386 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:57,359 Speaker 1: she's probably so used to him being single or being 387 00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 1: in between relationships or whatever, she just may like him 388 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,200 Speaker 1: better when he's single. She may feel like she's closer 389 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 1: to having a chance or whatever. You can't blame him 390 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 1: for that, though, and you didn't say that you did. 391 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 1: I'm just letting you know you can't blame him for that. 392 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:12,639 Speaker 1: But I think you should sit down and have a 393 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 1: conversation with him and tell him, Look, I want to 394 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:16,680 Speaker 1: talk to her, or I think that you used to 395 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 1: keep an eye open her, or I'm just uncomfortable with 396 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 1: the bitch being your best friend period, although she was 397 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:24,119 Speaker 1: before me. I have a gut feeling, and when women 398 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,640 Speaker 1: have gut feelings, honey, we'll be right for the most part, 399 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 1: all right, because I've been not and had some ship 400 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 1: in my gut a couple of times, and I wasn't 401 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: right about it, and even pieces of Dick honey, and 402 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,439 Speaker 1: I ain't been right. So um, I think that's just 403 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,119 Speaker 1: a communication thing, that's all, because you're very uneasy about it, 404 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 1: and I think the only way that you can fix 405 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 1: that is having a conversation with him and then having 406 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: a conversation word should. You said, y'all were cool enough, 407 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,679 Speaker 1: be cool enough to listen to my concerns and should 408 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 1: about the closeness of you and my boyfriend. All right, 409 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,879 Speaker 1: And just like that, we are going to end this 410 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,919 Speaker 1: episode on that note. Oh my god, the first story 411 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,439 Speaker 1: was crazy, y'all, wasn't it? Again? Like I said in 412 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 1: the beginning, my baby girl in the beginning, she sent 413 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 1: me voice notes if you don't want to type, or 414 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,439 Speaker 1: if it's too much to type, because I am getting 415 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 1: so many essays, these got them stories are getting longer 416 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: and longer, y'all. I wish y'all could just send me 417 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,439 Speaker 1: the voice notes. If y'all don't prefer to, I do understand, 418 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 1: and I will read them therefore, okay, But if not, 419 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: if it's easier if you don't care about anybody hearing 420 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 1: your voice on the podcast. Make sure you just go 421 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,240 Speaker 1: ahead and send on the voice notes. I will not 422 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 1: let them know who you are. Everybody is going to 423 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,520 Speaker 1: remain anonymous again. I hope I am really fixing y'all's 424 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,399 Speaker 1: mess and tune in each and every Wednesday seven am 425 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 1: on I Heart Media, Apple Podcasts, or whatever you find 426 00:21:48,600 --> 00:23:00,119 Speaker 1: your podcasts and in my deepest pan voice clave M. 427 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and 428 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,280 Speaker 1: The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, 429 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,920 Speaker 1: visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever 430 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.