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Speaker 1: Oh John, Oh, Sam, I love you so much.

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Speaker 2: I love you almost as much as the great stories

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Speaker 2: that are about.

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Speaker 1: To come up.

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Speaker 3: And you know what I love equally as much is

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Speaker 3: the two minutes of spots is coming up because they

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Speaker 3: support the show and make sure that we will have

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Speaker 3: our happily ever after.

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Speaker 4: I forbid my mother from bringing her boyfriend to my wedding,

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Speaker 4: but she won't drop it. Trigger warning for substance abuse

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Speaker 4: and dementia. So if you can't deal with that right now,

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Speaker 4: please get to the next story.

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Speaker 1: Why don't you just drop your man? Oohoo jotch out.

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Speaker 4: I thirty three, non binary, am not close with my

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Speaker 4: mother fifty five female at all. She divorced my dad

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Speaker 4: sixty when I was seven and almost immediately married my stepfather,

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Speaker 4: Mark Boom. Despite everything I was close with. They remained

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Speaker 4: married until I was sixteen. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 4: from Throaway for me eighty six and if you want

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Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, go to our slash shokey

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Speaker 4: story time suppared it. I was upset when she divorced

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Speaker 4: him and went to live with my dad and stepmom.

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Speaker 4: In my adult life, I've chosen to remain close to

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Speaker 4: my stepdad and even attended his wedding to his current wife,

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Speaker 4: who is a very nice woman. My dad and my

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Speaker 4: stepmom are great people. Since her divorce from my stepdad,

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Speaker 4: my mom has been in and out of relationships, each

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Speaker 4: time claiming that this guy is the love of her

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Speaker 4: life until they do something she doesn't like and suddenly

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Speaker 4: they aren't the love of her life anymore. Both divorces

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Speaker 4: with my dad and my stepdad were for very petty reasons.

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Speaker 4: My dad, I think because he wouldn't allow her to

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Speaker 4: get a new car since the budget was tight. I

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Speaker 4: believe the longest relationship she had lasted about six years,

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Speaker 4: and according to my sister, she's still with that guy.

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Speaker 4: After I left home, she never did anything with me

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Speaker 4: without bringing her boyfriends along. When I was twenty five,

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Speaker 4: she broke up with her boyfriend and tried to cry

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Speaker 4: to me about it. After working with my therapist, I

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Speaker 4: set a boundary with my mother. If she wasn't willing

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Speaker 4: to do anything with me without her boyfriend, then not

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Speaker 4: to bother and I didn't want to talk about her

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Speaker 4: love life. She was very hurt and we fell out

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Speaker 4: for a while, but she came back around about a

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Speaker 4: year later and has respected my rule since, however, we

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Speaker 4: only get together about three or four times per year.

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Speaker 4: I understand that my mom's relationships and love life are

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Speaker 4: important to her, so I respect that we don't see

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Speaker 4: each other often. Fast forward to this year. I'm getting

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Speaker 4: married to my partner thirty five mail of a decade

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Speaker 4: in October. It's a small, intimate backyard wedding and reception barbecue.

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Speaker 4: We live in a rural area, and our backyard wedding

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Speaker 4: will have roughly forty people. My dad, stepmom, stepdad, and

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Speaker 4: his new wife have all been invited. My mom asked

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Speaker 4: if she could bring her boyfriend. I said no because

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Speaker 4: I don't know him. She then asked if she could

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Speaker 4: introduce him to me before the wedding so I could

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Speaker 4: meet him beforehand. I said no, again, explaining that I

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Speaker 4: still had no interest in meeting her boyfriends. She said

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Speaker 4: she understood, but felt it was unfair that I wasn't

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Speaker 4: allowing her a plus one to my wedding when my

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Speaker 4: dad and stepdad were allowed to bring their spouses.

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Speaker 1: Oh hey, one of those things is not like the other.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, she has been with this man for six years.

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Speaker 1: This boyfriend, this boyfriend, this boyfriend. Yeah, this boyfriend. Sure, yes,

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Speaker 1: I don't remember that. They said that, They said the

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Speaker 1: late night everybody. Okay, she went to sleep before I did.

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Speaker 4: Okay, an hour and a half hour, both of us,

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Speaker 4: and now you an hour and a half.

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Speaker 1: No, yeah, it doesn't matter. What matters is that.

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Speaker 5: No, Mom, you can't bring your boyfriend because something's gonna

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Speaker 5: happen with your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 5: And then all of a sudden, I'm at talk to

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Speaker 5: you about your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: I think, OOMI once.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get to the end

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Speaker 4: of this, and then I'll have more thought. I told

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Speaker 4: her the difference was that I actually knew their spouses.

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Speaker 4: She wanted to know why I was so adamant about

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Speaker 4: refusing to get to know her boyfriend. I explained that

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Speaker 4: I saw no needs and she would just break up

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Speaker 4: with him and move on to someone else eventually, as

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Speaker 4: she always had before.

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Speaker 5: Okay, that's pretty brutal. That's harsh, that's pretty brutal. You

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Speaker 5: don't that's that's you mean? That's mean, don't hard inside

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Speaker 5: inside thought?

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Speaker 4: She started to cry and told me I was being

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Speaker 4: unreasonable and treating her as if she were an ore.

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Speaker 4: Both my fiance and my sister feel like I should

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Speaker 4: suck it up for one day and let her bring

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Speaker 4: her boyfriend so she can be comfortable there. I'm seriously

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Speaker 4: considering it, but I wanted to know if I'm the

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Speaker 4: a hole here for sticking to my boundary at my

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Speaker 4: wedding and what your thoughts are.

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Speaker 1: And there is an update.

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Speaker 4: But you thought I'm a little mixed right now, I'm

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Speaker 4: a little mixed right now because you're a little bag

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Speaker 4: of mixed more mixed nuts.

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Speaker 1: Mixed nuts, Yeah, like a trail mix variety.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I think it seems like op has a lot

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Speaker 4: of like kind of built up resentment from her childhood

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Speaker 4: of seeing her mom kind of break it off with

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Speaker 4: like important people in her life, and I feel like

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Speaker 4: that is coming out here a lot, And I don't

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Speaker 4: know if all of it is necessarily fair. I think

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Speaker 4: that she is allowed to ban anyone or not invite

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Speaker 4: anyone from her wedding if she doesn't want this man,

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Speaker 4: if she just wants if she just wants like any

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Speaker 4: like people that she knows, that's fine. But I don't

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Speaker 4: think that she necessarily has to had to say that. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: Like I feel like she could have said you know,

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Speaker 4: I wanted to keep it to people that are really

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Speaker 4: close to me and just that there's.

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Speaker 1: There's a way to navigate that where you didn't have

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Speaker 1: to slam dunk so hard.

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Speaker 3: On your mom.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you know she's she brought up like, well, I

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Speaker 5: don't think it's fair. I don't have a plus one.

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Speaker 5: You can be like you do have a plus one. Actually,

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Speaker 5: you can bring someone else. I just don't want you

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Speaker 5: to bring your boyfriend. You can bring friend if you

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Speaker 5: really feel like you're gonna be that uncomfortable at your

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Speaker 5: own daughter's wedding that you need like a safety blanket

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Speaker 5: there of like a guest.

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Speaker 1: That you brought.

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Speaker 4: Oh and also sky ahead and bring a friend. Oh

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Speaker 4: he is non binary, thank you, m Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But hey, don't bring a boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I think I think there is a world where,

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Speaker 4: especially because everyone else is saying like they can bring

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Speaker 4: their boyfriend, I don't. Like I feel like it would

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Speaker 4: be okay if if OPI met the boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: But like, if I don't care about the boyfriend bring

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Speaker 1: him to my wedding.

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Speaker 4: I feel like you don't have to. I feel like

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Speaker 4: there's a world where you could go either way, but.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to be you don't have to be

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Speaker 1: so yet you don't have to.

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Speaker 4: Be so harsh. I think either way, whatever you choose,

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Speaker 4: approach it with a little bit of kindness, because it's

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Speaker 4: not like your mom is. You know, it doesn't seem

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Speaker 4: like she was insisting on it. She was just saying like, hey,

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Speaker 4: can I bring my boyfriend? And then you were like

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Speaker 4: no cause. But I think at the end of the day,

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Speaker 4: Opie can invite or not invite anyone. That is her choice,

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Speaker 4: their choice.

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Speaker 1: Update.

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Speaker 4: After reading everything here, I've decided to email my mother

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Speaker 4: and invite him. Okay, Well, there we go. They made

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Speaker 4: the decision.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 4: I was already leaning towards telling her that he can

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Speaker 4: come when I posted. I decided to set some ground

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Speaker 4: rules for my mother. He is there as a plus

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Speaker 4: one to my mother only. I made it clear to

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Speaker 4: her that he is not my family and he is

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Speaker 4: not my stepfather, so I will appreciate her not telling

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Speaker 4: other people at the wedding. He is my stepfather. Mark

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Speaker 4: is my stepfather, and he will be there. He is

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Speaker 4: not to be in any family photos. In fairness, my

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Speaker 4: stepdad Mark won't be in any family photos either, Only

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Speaker 4: my mom dad, stepmom and my siblings. He is not

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Speaker 4: to approach me at any point during the wedding and reception.

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Speaker 4: This does not change my previous boundaries. I'm only allowing

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Speaker 4: him to come for her own comfort and to create

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Speaker 4: a sense of fairness. I respect the fact she is

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Speaker 4: in a relationship, but that her love life has nothing

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Speaker 4: to do with me, and I wish to keep it

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Speaker 4: that way. I told my mother that these are my

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Speaker 4: terms for him being at my wedding, and my terms

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Speaker 4: are final, and that I hope she can respect the

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Speaker 4: fact that I'm trying to be reasonable. I use this

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Speaker 4: opportunity to remind her of the reasons I put the

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Speaker 4: boundary up in the first place. These reasons include forcing

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Speaker 4: me to do activities with her shorter term boyfriends in

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Speaker 4: the past, forcing me to only discuss her love life

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Speaker 4: while showing no interest in my life, and putting her

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Speaker 4: relationships above her own children. If she responds, I'll let

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Speaker 4: everyone know and there is a second update and Nicole

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Speaker 4: h says they don't want their mom's boyfriend because they

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Speaker 4: know she's just got a breakout with him soon and

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Speaker 4: does not want him in the pictures. I I think,

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Speaker 4: I think that is what Opie's thinking clearly because it's

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Speaker 4: kind of what they said.

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Speaker 1: Sure, they dated for six.

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Speaker 4: Years, that's what the sister, That's what Opie's sister said.

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Speaker 4: Opie's sister said that her mom has been uh with

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Speaker 4: this guy for like on and off. It just said

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Speaker 4: six years, like the sister said. She was like, uh, yeah,

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Speaker 4: mom's been with her for with him for six years. Okay,

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Speaker 4: mmm right, But I think that, I mean, Op's seen

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Speaker 4: this pattern, so they know a little bit better. Skyla

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Speaker 4: Rance's weight. Didn't Opie like one of the stepparents? Why

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Speaker 4: don't they want them in the picture. I think they

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Speaker 4: just want like core family in the pictures.

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Speaker 1: They did have the step mom in but stepdad. Step

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Speaker 1: mom's closer than the stepdad.

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Speaker 4: Well, step mom is still in a relationship with Opie's dad.

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Speaker 4: Stepdad is no longer technically stepdad. He's like ex stepdad,

201
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Speaker 4: but still stepdad because because Opie loves their stepdad in

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Speaker 4: the picture up to too. My mom called me within

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Speaker 4: ten minutes of getting the email. She thanked me for

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Speaker 4: allowing him to come and said they would abide by

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Speaker 4: my terms. She said she felt really hurt that during

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Speaker 4: her actions during her mid life crisis or why I'm

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Speaker 4: refusing to meet her current boyfriend, who she says she's

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Speaker 4: been with for seven and a half years, so even longer.

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Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, that's a long time.

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Speaker 4: I do think. Well, I don't know, maybe it's maybe

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Speaker 4: maybe she doesn't want to get married because she's already

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Speaker 4: done that twice, and it's you know, she's like, let's

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Speaker 4: be certain for you know, before.

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Speaker 1: We do that. I guess they're making sure. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: had a biff from back to the future.

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Speaker 4: It would be kind of rough, though, to not meet

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Speaker 4: your mom's partner of seven and a half years, you know,

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Speaker 4: Like I understand that, op, he's gone through a lot

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Speaker 4: with their mom, but yeah, see him a lot, Like

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Speaker 4: surprising that you haven't met him once since seven and

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Speaker 4: a half years. Ah, And that she thought things would

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Speaker 4: eventually calm down enough where I would be comfortable meeting him.

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Speaker 4: He said, she now realizes that it will never happen.

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Speaker 4: I told her that I'm firm on my stance. I

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Speaker 4: think she started to cry, but she said she understood

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Speaker 4: and only wants him there because being around my dad

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Speaker 4: and stepdad and their new wives. Well, my dad has

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Speaker 4: been married for twenty three years and my stepdad for

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Speaker 4: twelve makes her anxious and he helps keep her calm.

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Speaker 4: She said she respects my stance and said it's her

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Speaker 4: own fault. I feel this way. I felt this may

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Speaker 4: be the start of a guilt trip. So I politely

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Speaker 4: ended the call and there is another update. Any their

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Speaker 4: thoughts before we jump into it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, uh, I wonder, like, why is that it's a

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Speaker 5: choice seven and a half years not meeting that guy.

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Speaker 1: It's a distinct choice.

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Speaker 5: So like what there has to be like some kind

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Speaker 5: of like trauma around well, I think that relationship.

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Speaker 4: I think he has said multiple times, like I I

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Speaker 4: was devastated when the first divorce, and then I was

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Speaker 4: devastated about the second divorce, and then I was having

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Speaker 4: to meet all these people that I didn't you know,

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Speaker 4: know and they weren't around long.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so on that level, it also makes sense.

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Speaker 5: It's like, why would I want a reminder that my

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Speaker 5: mom has divorced and like left people very important to

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Speaker 5: be at my wedding when committing to be with this

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Speaker 5: one person.

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Speaker 4: That's fair, But let's get into the update. Cynthia says,

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Speaker 4: I feel like the mom is going to pull something.

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Speaker 4: Oh hopefully not my fiance thirty five mail and I,

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Speaker 4: thirty three non binary, are getting married in two weeks

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Speaker 4: in our backyard. We will be having a catering spread

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Speaker 4: for our reception afterwards. We decided to have a dry

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Speaker 4: wedding for two reasons. My mom is a heavy drinker

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Speaker 4: who is known for making a scene when she gets wasted,

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Speaker 4: and my fiance has a brother who binge drinks and

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Speaker 4: has booze poisoning on more than one occasion. He doesn't

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Speaker 4: drink all the time, but if he starts, he can't

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Speaker 4: stop until he ether passes out where someone physically restrains

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Speaker 4: him from getting more.

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Speaker 1: Yikes, this is that's.

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Speaker 4: Oh, the fiance's brother. Yeah. I also have an uncle,

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Speaker 4: mom's brother, and a stepdad who are in recovery and

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Speaker 4: don't need the temptation. Neither fiance and I are big drinkers,

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Speaker 4: so we decided to just avoid any problems and just

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Speaker 4: have a dry wedding. We will have a less dry

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Speaker 4: reception party, honeymoon with some with some of our friends

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Speaker 4: later on. All of our families have been supportive. My

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Speaker 4: uncle was especially grateful to us for doing this, since

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Speaker 4: he takes his recovery very seriously and it's been seven

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Speaker 4: years sober. I sent out wedding invitations four months ago

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Speaker 4: and said it would be a dry wedding and ask

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Speaker 4: people not to bring booze. Now today I get this

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Speaker 4: call from my mom. I also sent an invitation two

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Speaker 4: four months ago.

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Speaker 1: Mom. Is it true you're not having booze at your wedding.

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Speaker 4: Yes, fiance and I decided we didn't want booze during

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Speaker 4: our special time.

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Speaker 5: Ah, that's so silly. It's gonna make your wedding a boring.

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Speaker 4: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but fiance and

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Speaker 4: I have made our decision.

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Speaker 5: We want everyone to feel comfortable at our wedding. Well,

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Speaker 5: clearly you don't care about my comfort. What if I

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Speaker 5: want to have a little drinky food past the.

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Speaker 4: Time like you did it different Uncle's wedding when you

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Speaker 4: got so wasted and made a horrible scene calling Uncle's

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Speaker 4: wife a gold digger. That wasn't my fault.

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Speaker 1: They make the drinks there drown, right.

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Speaker 4: I really wish you would address this need to have

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Speaker 4: booze wherever you go.

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Speaker 5: I don't need to have booze. I just think your

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Speaker 5: wedding will be boring without it. And you want to

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Speaker 5: have a fun wedding, don't you.

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Speaker 1: It will be a fun wedding. We don't need to

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Speaker 1: have booze to have fun. This is so stupid.

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Speaker 5: Why should everyone else be punished just to make it

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Speaker 5: comfortable for a few people.

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Speaker 1: It seems like you can't more about your uncle and

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Speaker 1: stepdad than anyone else.

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Speaker 4: So maybe I just want to avoid any scenes.

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Speaker 1: I just told you that wasn't my fault. They make

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Speaker 1: the drinks too heavy there, just like your duhy isn't

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Speaker 1: your fault?

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Speaker 2: WHOA?

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Speaker 1: That was the cops faults for pulling me over?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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Speaker 1: How dare you bring up that difficult time in my life?

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Speaker 1: I was going through a lot emotionally.

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Speaker 2: What the heck is wrong with you kids?

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Speaker 1: You didn't mind your own business. If I want to drink,

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Speaker 1: that's my business. Oh my wedding is my business.

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Speaker 4: You don't want booze there? That's final. I can't stop

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Speaker 4: you if you decide to pregame my wedding, but I've

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Speaker 4: already made it clear to uncles and brothers that if

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Speaker 4: you cause a scene that you're to be made to leave.

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Speaker 4: Why do you kids hate me so much?

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Speaker 1: What did I ever do to be observed to be

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Speaker 1: treated like this by my children.

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Speaker 4: Are you really ready for me to go down that list?

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Speaker 5: None of you understand, none of you will ever understand.

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Speaker 1: I'm the mother of the bride. I should be treated

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Speaker 1: better than this. You should let me drink all the

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Speaker 1: alcohol I want.

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Speaker 4: What? Are you treated you pretty well during this process?

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Speaker 4: I've acquiesced to your boyfriend whom I didn't even know

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Speaker 4: was coming to my wedding. Have you even given into

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Speaker 4: some of your other demands? So please tell me how

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Speaker 4: you been mistreated?

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Speaker 5: Well, you didn't invite me to go dress shopping, and

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Speaker 5: the mother of the bride.

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Speaker 1: Always goes Dreus shopping with your daughter. I barely know

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Speaker 1: fiance because you never bring him around me. How do

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Speaker 1: I know that you're marrying the right person? It's because

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Speaker 1: aunt made my dress? Well, isn't that just special?

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Speaker 4: As for the rest, I think you know why. We

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Speaker 4: aren't really close enough for you to have any say

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Speaker 4: in who my significant other is. Honestly, Mom, I'm done

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Speaker 4: with this conversation. If you really feel strongly about this,

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Speaker 4: I'll understand if you don't want to attend my wedding.

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Speaker 4: Oh I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you?

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Speaker 1: One air another you will respect me as your mother.

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Speaker 4: Sure, Mom, I'm hanging up now. Bye.

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Speaker 1: Oh don't clap. I broke character. That was bad, guys.

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Speaker 4: I'm so livid right now. I have half a mind

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Speaker 4: to uninvite her. I spoke to my dad and her brother.

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Speaker 4: My uncle thinks her drinking is getting really bad again

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Speaker 4: and has been wanting to hold an intervention. I told

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Speaker 4: him I'm focused on the wedding right now, but that

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Speaker 4: I definitely agree this was out of line and something

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Speaker 4: needs to be done.

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Speaker 1: What do I do?

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Speaker 4: I don't want her ruining my wedding, but I'm so

355
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Speaker 4: tired of dealing with this. Sorry. This is probably above

356
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Speaker 4: Reddit's pay grade, but I just needed to vent. And

357
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Speaker 4: there is another updated.

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Speaker 5: My mom gained my wedding and drank three handles of Tito's.

359
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Speaker 4: Someone said in the chat ope, you should hire security

360
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Speaker 4: so that no one can bring anything unwanted into the wedding,

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Speaker 4: which I think is a good idea if you can.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if security will I mean effective that?

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Speaker 5: Oh? How so you know people can sneak in a

364
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Speaker 5: flask if you don't tell anyone really want to?

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Speaker 1: Like, we'll figure out how to sure, but.

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Speaker 6: Like a limited amount yeah, yeah, you have your literal

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Speaker 6: own little thing.

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Speaker 1: Great exactly.

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Speaker 4: You can only have like a little.

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Speaker 6: Bit no harm, no fel Most.

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Speaker 1: People will just respect that.

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Speaker 5: And then just if your mom is like clearly visibly intoxicated,

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Speaker 5: you just be.

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Speaker 1: Like get out of here.

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Speaker 5: Well, which case security would help get her out of there. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: security thrower, you're out. But there is an update break

377
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Speaker 5: in the lake.

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Speaker 4: I sent a text reiterating the rules. She said she

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Speaker 4: knows where she isn't welcome and said she won't attend.

380
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Speaker 4: My dad told me not to worry about this anymore

381
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Speaker 4: and that he'll see to it she doesn't ruin my wedding,

382
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Speaker 4: and I sent this text to my mom mother. At

383
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Speaker 4: this point, I'm going to officially uninvite you for my wedding.

384
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Speaker 4: I'm not going to allow you to change your mind,

385
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 4: and I preferred if you not come to my wedding

386
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Speaker 4: at all. Given your poor behavior. At this point, I've

387
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Speaker 4: decided I don't want any further contact with you unless

388
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,479
Speaker 4: you decide to curb your toxic behaviors and drinking. I

389
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,560
Speaker 4: wish you the best. I hope you can find a

390
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,320
Speaker 4: way to heal, but I can't do this anymore. I'm

391
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Speaker 4: sorry if this hurts you, but I can't handle you

392
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Speaker 4: in my life anymore. If you try to force the issue,

393
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Speaker 4: I'll be forced to take legal action up to and

394
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Speaker 4: including contacting law enforcement. Please don't contact me again.

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Speaker 1: Wow wo wow. Yeah, it's official.

396
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Speaker 4: It's a freaking official. I wanted to let her from

397
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Speaker 4: my Facebook page, only to find a post that she

398
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Speaker 4: had just written saying about how being a mother is

399
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Speaker 4: a thankless job and now she doesn't understand how she's

400
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:02,359
Speaker 4: raised rude and judgmental kids. She ended it by saying

401
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:06,720
Speaker 4: she hopes her kids get over themselves someday. I'm done.

402
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,760
Speaker 4: This sucks, but it's been a long time coming. My

403
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:15,720
Speaker 4: head hurts, and there is another update. But any thoughts

404
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,720
Speaker 4: on that that text from the wedding, It seemed like

405
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,880
Speaker 4: a well formulated, well thought out kind of little guy.

406
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Speaker 1: Definitely didn't feel good to send it.

407
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,880
Speaker 4: That's I'm sure it didn't. But it's like a really

408
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,119
Speaker 4: hard text to send to someone who you wanted to

409
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Speaker 4: be in your life and you've been trying to have

410
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,399
Speaker 4: in your life and they just keep just keeps pushing

411
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:39,480
Speaker 4: pushing those boundaries.

412
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Speaker 5: Yeah, she even gave her the green light pregame. She's like,

413
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Speaker 5: you can drink before they ope.

414
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, But the mother doesn't care they she just

415
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:55,920
Speaker 4: wants to make rucus. But there is an update raucus. Firstly,

416
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 4: I want to thank everyone for the sport. We have

417
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,080
Speaker 4: no idea how much your love and instructive comments mean

418
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Speaker 4: to me. I'm glad I'm not alone. It's not a

419
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,439
Speaker 4: huge update, but I guess my grandparents and uncles have

420
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Speaker 4: had enough. They've decided to stage an intervention next weekend.

421
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Speaker 1: Oh that's wow. Hey, that's good. That's good.

422
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Speaker 4: Well, it seems like your the whole wedding fiasco pre

423
00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:21,400
Speaker 4: drama has kind of incited this, so that's something good

424
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,639
Speaker 4: that came out of it. I'm fun if she refuses

425
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,719
Speaker 4: to get help, she will no longer be welcomed at

426
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Speaker 4: family events, and she will no longer be a part

427
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 4: of the family. They told me not to worry about it.

428
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 4: My sister will go as she is the only one

429
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Speaker 4: of her children that even has a real relationship with her.

430
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 4: But even my sister said that if she doesn't get help,

431
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 4: she will cut her off too. I'm hoping and praying

432
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,720
Speaker 4: this works, but given that she spent one year in

433
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Speaker 4: rehab and the second she was off probation chose to

434
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,040
Speaker 4: drink again. Doesn't give me a lot of hope. My

435
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 4: dad told me he's hiring the local biker gang to

436
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 4: act as security.

437
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 5: That's it's fun, probably effective, I guess, though, I don't know.

438
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 4: Are the just gonna sit on their bikes?

439
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're going to form a line of bikes. Can

440
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Speaker 1: you do that?

441
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 4: Can you just hire a local biker gang?

442
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 3: Yeah?

443
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 1: How do you do that?

444
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,360
Speaker 4: Do you just go up to them and you're like, okay,

445
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 4: I'd like for your services.

446
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,679
Speaker 5: You just walk into the yeah, and you say and

447
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 5: you say, hey, any bikers around here want to get rough?

448
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:19,880
Speaker 3: Who?

449
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,440
Speaker 1: No, I'm sorry, it's over.

450
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

451
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 1: You walk in like that SpongeBob.

452
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:33,439
Speaker 5: Scene where you I can't I can't remember it. Okay,

453
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 5: my brain's not working.

454
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 4: We live in a small town and the nearest big

455
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,400
Speaker 4: city is about an hour away, so it would be

456
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 4: really expensive to have a security company come out. I

457
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 4: don't have a problem with that. This is the type

458
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,879
Speaker 4: of gang that helps out mistreated kids and animals, and

459
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 4: they do a lot of good where I live. They

460
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 4: just freaking ride on bikes and they help help the community.

461
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they find an alien in their backyard.

462
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 4: And I've not seen this.

463
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 5: Movie and uh even seen et Oh I have. Oh

464
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:00,960
Speaker 5: but I thought you're like a biker gang.

465
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:01,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.

466
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 6: I just we're talking kids on bikes and we're talking

467
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,120
Speaker 6: about the movie Old Dogs, and we don't talk about

468
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 6: that movie anymore.

469
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 4: Okay. The worst I've heard about them is they doled

470
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 4: out some rural justice to a guy that was beaten

471
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,680
Speaker 4: up the sister of one of the members and ran

472
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,639
Speaker 4: them out of town. Well that's actually that's a good review.

473
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 4: When my mom got her DUI, she ran into someone's

474
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,439
Speaker 4: house and car when she tried to back out. No

475
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 4: one was hurt, thank goodness. And I guess it was

476
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 4: the house of a relation of someone in the gang.

477
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 4: So they agreed to help. They were like, oh, yeah,

478
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 4: that woman, we'll keep her out.

479
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:36,359
Speaker 1: Oh that one.

480
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,360
Speaker 4: Oh we know her, and my dad is paying them

481
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:40,680
Speaker 4: to be security just in case.

482
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 1: They know my family.

483
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 4: One of my dad's cousins is a member, and they

484
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,879
Speaker 4: know my mom. I think she dated a guy in

485
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,919
Speaker 4: the gang at one point, and what to look out for.

486
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 4: It may be moot if she ends up in rehabit.

487
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 4: I'm not stressing about her anymore. I have thirteen days

488
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 4: until my wedding. I'm going to focus on the final

489
00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:00,880
Speaker 4: touches and just enjoy myself. My bio logical mom made

490
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 4: her choices. Now that I've stood up for myself, I

491
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:06,239
Speaker 4: feel nothing but relief. My stepmom will be there and

492
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,480
Speaker 4: I see her more as my real mom. So it's

493
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 4: all fine. I've been through a lot of therapy already,

494
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,160
Speaker 4: so I've had to make peace with how my actual

495
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:13,719
Speaker 4: mother is.

496
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 1: And there is another update woo.

497
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 4: Kyle Van Compon says there was a group of bikers

498
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 4: cold called Sober Souls in Denver that held AA meetings

499
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 4: and it was the coolest group I've ever met.

500
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 1: That sounds that's cool.

501
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 3: It's a biker club.

502
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:36,159
Speaker 1: Biker club cluba you mean a gang?

503
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 4: Oh? Can we not say that? I don't know.

504
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,679
Speaker 5: No, it's like it's are you talking about et? I

505
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:46,399
Speaker 5: think there's a difference, like when you zoom in but

506
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,920
Speaker 5: zoom out. It's like most people don't.

507
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 3: You know.

508
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,280
Speaker 5: It's I think they prefer club because it's like there's

509
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 5: no criminal It's not all biker clubs commit crimes.

510
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 4: Some of them bikes, but it's such a funny. It's

511
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 4: kind of a funny concept though, a biker gang.

512
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, have you seen Sons of Anarchy?

513
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 4: No, but it's kind of a funny concept. Like a

514
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 4: bunch of like people who really like riding motorbikes.

515
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 1: Riding bikes, committing crime. They found each other and they're like, hey, bikes, Sofia.

516
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: They wear matching jackets.

517
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 4: They were matching, Like that's a freaking club man. They

518
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 4: all wear matching jackets.

519
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,640
Speaker 3: They have freedom and they get to.

520
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 5: Just ride around, ride around town. They have like a

521
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,880
Speaker 5: uniform security deposits.

522
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 4: That's practically I mean, I don't know what. I'm not

523
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 4: agreeing with whatever Dakota is saying. I'm just saying it

524
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 4: seems like a.

525
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 7: Fun those times. Well I'm talking about like I'm talking

526
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 7: about just the groo guy who hit that girl down

527
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 7: down for that.

528
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:55,919
Speaker 4: And there we go. But there is an update. I

529
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,439
Speaker 4: don't think i'd be back so soon. But it's my

530
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 4: mom's world, and we all I'll just live in it.

531
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 4: My mother had nine one one called on her for

532
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 4: domestic violence on Tuesday. Oh my god. She apparently started

533
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 4: throwing wine bottles at her boyfriend, who locked himself in

534
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 4: the bathroom and called the cops while she destroyed their

535
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 4: place in one of her temper tantrums. She wasn't making

536
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,160
Speaker 4: any sense when the cops got there, so they restrained

537
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 4: her and took her to the hospital. She's been stuck

538
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 4: in the psychiatric ward ever since.

539
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 1: My lord, geez, yeah, definitely.

540
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 4: Good idea to not have this woman at your one.

541
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 5: I would have bet I bet ten thousand dollars. I

542
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 5: bet ten thousand dollars that there was silly drinks involved

543
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:36,880
Speaker 5: in that incident.

544
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 4: I mean, I thought she was throwing the silly drinks, so.

545
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: That's why I'm betting ten thousand dollars.

546
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 4: My sister was listed as a contact for her and

547
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 4: got the call about my mom on Wednesday. The doctors

548
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 4: at the hospital spoke to my sister and believed she

549
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 4: may be showing signs of alcohol related dementia and some

550
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 4: sort of psychotic disorder like bipolar disorder. They currently have

551
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 4: her in booze detox, and from what my sister was told,

552
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 4: it's pretty bad. They won't allow her visitors until she's

553
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 4: out of detox, not that anyone really has a desire

554
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 4: to visit her anymore. My sister and I decided enough

555
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 4: was enough, and at the request of a social worker

556
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 4: who interviewed my sister, my uncles, and my grandparents, and myself,

557
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:22,120
Speaker 4: we petition for guardianship yesterday. The guardianship means they can

558
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 4: hold her while it winds through her system, rather than

559
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 4: releasing her after seventy two hours. My grandmother is upset

560
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 4: as she thinks all of these issues should be kept

561
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 4: within the family and that the states shouldn't step in.

562
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,199
Speaker 4: That's so stupid. My uncles and grandfather, however, support the

563
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,879
Speaker 4: guardianship as far as they're concerned. She's no longer welcomed

564
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 4: the family and they won't allow her to continue taking

565
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 4: advantage of anyone anymore.

566
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:48,560
Speaker 1: Really quick.

567
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 4: It's kind of as I understand that a lot of

568
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 4: people like families do this, but like for the grandmother

569
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 4: to say, oh, we have to keep in the family

570
00:26:56,200 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 4: that hasn't been working at all. Yeah, Like she got

571
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 4: to this point, not saying she was in the care

572
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 4: of the family, but I mean that's how she got

573
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,880
Speaker 4: to this point. She didn't have anyone there. So it's

574
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,360
Speaker 4: my sister and I say, let her be a professionals

575
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 4: problem and let them figure out what to do with her.

576
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 4: My brothers don't care and have effectively washed their hands

577
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 4: of her years ago, so their stance is whatever keeps

578
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 4: her as far away as humanly possible. We can't deal

579
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 4: with her anymore, and why should we. With the guardianship petitioned,

580
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 4: I'm working on washing my hands of this situation entirely.

581
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 4: I'm sure i'll be interviewed about why a guardianship is

582
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 4: not necessary, but other than that, I don't plan to

583
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 4: have any further contact with my mom unless she apologizes

584
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 4: and make some ends for her behavior. If that's something

585
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 4: she's even capable of anymore. I just don't see that happening,

586
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 4: and any compassion or understanding I had for her in

587
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,679
Speaker 4: the past is gone. Whatever state her life is in,

588
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 4: she brought it on her self. I just want to

589
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 4: move on with my life without her in it and

590
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 4: be done with her for good. It doesn't look like

591
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 4: she'll be released from the hospital anytime soon, so there's

592
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 4: no risk of her attending my wedding. I did talk

593
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 4: to her boyfriend yesterday after her sister and I filed

594
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 4: our paperwork and we decided to invite him to lunch.

595
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 4: He's decided to break up with her for good. And

596
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 4: we learned just how bad things were with her. He's

597
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 4: a really nice guy who's been caught up in a

598
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 4: bad situation and had no clue how bad she could be.

599
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,719
Speaker 4: I feel really bad for him. I did decide to

600
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 4: invite him to my wedding. As I can tell, he's

601
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 4: a lonely dude.

602
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 5: He's been to heck and back the boyfriend or is

603
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 5: this no, this is a previous right, No.

604
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 4: I did. That's no. I did talk to the mom's boyfriend.

605
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: He's been with her for seven and a half years.

606
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 4: Decided to break up about this, and we just about

607
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 4: this no, and had no clue how bad she could be.

608
00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 4: I wonder, I wonder if this is the worst the's

609
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 4: ever been in his presence? Possibly maybe maybe maybe maybe

610
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 4: if this is I mean, if this is or maybe

611
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 4: this is just the breaking point.

612
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 1: Maybe dude.

613
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:15,640
Speaker 4: I do think it's kind of ironic, maybe not funny,

614
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 4: but ironic that Opie's inviting him to the wedding. Yeah,

615
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 4: after all that, after all of that, she's like, yeah,

616
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 4: you can go to the wedding. Like OPI is collecting

617
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 4: her mother's exes, just one at.

618
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 1: A time, Yeah, like Infinity Stone.

619
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 4: Not sure he'll show, but the offer's there. There was

620
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 4: a time I'd have allowed an event like this to

621
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 4: ruin the run up to the wedding, But I've been

622
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 4: able to separate my mom's behavior from the wedding. It

623
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 4: hasn't put a damper on it. Now that my mom

624
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 4: is squared away, I can enjoy myself. I just put

625
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 4: the final touches on the catering order, and I am expecting

626
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 4: the last of my supplies. My aunt wants to put

627
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 4: the final touches on my wedding attire. If I haven't mentioned,

628
00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 4: both fiance and I are huge steampunk fans, and so

629
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 4: we're wearing steampunk attire and encouraging everyone else to dress

630
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 4: in steampunk sick. That sounds like a sick wedding.

631
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 5: Not required, though you need to make it required, Steve,

632
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 5: a little bit of a heart.

633
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 4: I'm having a Renaissance wedding and everyone's required to dress

634
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 4: up Renaissance.

635
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 5: I'm coming as a dragon, then, cheesy Steve, we got

636
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 5: to do Renaissance tutorial.

637
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 4: You right, come out dragon inspired vest, then.

638
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 3: You can come as a Spiro.

639
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 4: You can't come to the wedding you're out.

640
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 6: Dragon's are a renaissance steam.

641
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: You're out done.

642
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 4: My wedding dress is actually more of a.

643
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: Suit situation, but it looks bad. But I don't think.

644
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 4: I'll update again, as I want to pull all this

645
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 4: behind me and I don't plan to have any contact

646
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 4: with my mother going forward. I'm looking forward to a

647
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 4: bright future with my husband. My mom can stay in

648
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,959
Speaker 4: the past, and as cold and heartless as it sounds,

649
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 4: I'm glad she's not going to be my family's problem anymore.

650
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,959
Speaker 4: And another update post wedding.

651
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: Woo, here we go.

652
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 4: I never knew dealing with my heavy drinker mother was worthy.

653
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 4: You have a best of post. I just wanted to

654
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 4: rant and sanity check myself. Only news on my mother

655
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 4: is she's out of detox and currently in a catatonic state,

656
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:13,240
Speaker 4: refusing to speak, eat or drink water. Wow. Oh no, wow,

657
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 4: I mean this. Yeah, it seems like the withdrawal is

658
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 4: it's just really hard on her, especially with like all

659
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 4: you know. It seems like she might have a Bible

660
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 4: or besword as well. They may install a feeding tube

661
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 4: if she doesn't let up. I think she's trying to

662
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 4: be dramatic and get attention.

663
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 1: So do my uncles.

664
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 4: I could be wrong, but honestly, I don't care anymore.

665
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 4: I mean, regardless of whether or not she's doing this

666
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 4: for attention, she still clearly has a problem, because you

667
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 4: don't starve yourself unless you have a problem, even if

668
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 4: it's to get attention, like there is some problem there, Gandhi,

669
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 4: that's true. What I mean it was for attention, I guess,

670
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 4: I mean good it was to get attention on the

671
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 4: specific issue.

672
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 3: But uh uh.

673
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 1: Ahdee, this is hard to know.

674
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're not sure she has dementia, but she definitely

675
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 4: has something going on. But doing any kind of evaluation

676
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 4: while she acts like this is difficult. She also has

677
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 4: liver disease, needs dialysis and probably even a transplant if

678
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 4: she qualifies. Wow, the doctor's made it very clear if

679
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 4: she doesn't quit drinking, she will pass away within the

680
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 4: next five years, and it may even still be too late.

681
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 4: Oh this is Yeah, this is a lot, especially when

682
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 4: it's I mean, hope he just got married and to

683
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 4: be kind of going through all of this, well that's happening.

684
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 4: I think i'd feel more sad, but I've had to

685
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 4: realize that I lost my mother long ago. I did

686
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 4: invite my mom's boyfriend, but he chose not to come.

687
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 4: He's decided to get help for his own boos issues.

688
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 4: According to my sister, I wish him the best, which

689
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 4: is kind of what I was thinking if the mom

690
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 4: had that bad of a drinking problem and she was

691
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 4: with this person for seven and a half years. Unfortunately,

692
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 4: usually you kind of have, you know, people who are a.

693
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: Little bit crossover there.

694
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, as for the wedding, I'm now happily married and

695
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 4: on Wednesday, I took a pregnancy test that came back positive.

696
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 1: A rats o baby baby time at time.

697
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 4: We're super excited, but haven't told anyone in our family yet.

698
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 4: The wedding was fantastic and the day went off without

699
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 4: a hitch. Grats. We had a blast and are headed

700
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 4: out on our honeymoon on Wednesday to Costa Rica. My

701
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 4: brothers and stepbrothers very sweetly hazed my husband during the

702
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 4: at home bachelor party and made it clear they're excited

703
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 4: to have another brother. My stepmom did all of the

704
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 4: mom stuff during the wedding that was already planned before

705
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 4: all of this. No one snuck in booze. There weren't

706
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 4: any scenes. The worst that happened was my sister crying

707
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 4: due to all the stress she's been undre. I do

708
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 4: have some sympathy, but most of it is health inflicted though,

709
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 4: because she enables. But all in all, it was a

710
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 4: great day and I was surrounded by those I love most.

711
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 4: I know a lot of people ask for picks of

712
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 4: my wedding suit. I will see if there's some way

713
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 4: I can crop identifying stuff from it and post it

714
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,799
Speaker 4: here once I get my wedding pictures back. Otherwise I'll

715
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 4: figure it away to post the outfit themselves. That's all

716
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 4: I have. I'll try and update after my honeymoon. Now

717
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 4: it seems like the baby is coming, so no promises.

718
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 5: Now we've got baby update, baby update, baby update, baby up, babdates.

719
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,760
Speaker 1: We got a little baby update.

720
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 4: Dang man.

721
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 1: A lot is going on right.

722
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 4: Now for Ope. They are having to deal with new baby,

723
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 4: new husband.

724
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, which you're good, good new baby, good new husband.

725
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 4: Yah. Mother catatonic mother oose you know, doesn't see. Doctors

726
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 4: are not giving her a lot time to live.

727
00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 5: That's a lot of drain, heavily for the majority of

728
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 5: your life. Folks, we'll do that will ruin your health.

729
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 2: John here og host, We're gonna get back to these stories,

730
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,799
Speaker 2: but a quick free minute break from ass from our sponsors.

731
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 4: But there is an update. I guess this is an

732
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 4: update for anyone who's read my previous posts, along with

733
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,920
Speaker 4: another AMI the a Whole Question. My thirty three non

734
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 4: binary mother, fifty five female had a meltdown that resulted

735
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,759
Speaker 4: in her being arrested and hospitalized. At the urging of

736
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:29,959
Speaker 4: the social worker at the hospital, we found a third

737
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 4: party willing to serve as my mother's guardian and filed

738
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 4: a petition for guardianship. She's going on disability and will

739
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 4: remain on it for the rest of her life. She

740
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 4: was recently placed in a long term psychiatric group home.

741
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 4: She has been diagnosed with Wernick Korsakov syndrome with encephalopathy

742
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 4: per the MRI. She has lost quite a bit of

743
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 4: brain matter and liver disease.

744
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 1: What are those?

745
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 4: Oh?

746
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 1: She lost brain? Had she got brain melting disease?

747
00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 4: Oh?

748
00:35:58,920 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: Dang?

749
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,439
Speaker 4: She is fifty five and even with liver dialysis, it's

750
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:07,720
Speaker 4: unlikely she will see sixty. Wow. She is also unlikely

751
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 4: to be eligible for a transplant unless the lack of

752
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,479
Speaker 4: booze reverses her dementia, but it will be a year

753
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,440
Speaker 4: before we know if there is any sign of that.

754
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 4: Even though I'm pregnant with my first I've decided to

755
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 4: be the main point of contact with the guardian. I

756
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 4: feel like it's my duty as the eldest child. The

757
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,839
Speaker 4: problem is my grandma really wants my mother to come

758
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 4: live with them, and it's causing conflict with my granddad.

759
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 4: He keeps telling her to back off and that we

760
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 4: should listen to the experts. My grandma means well and

761
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,640
Speaker 4: is an immigrant. He comes from a country where care

762
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 4: for someone always falls to the family, and government involvement

763
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 4: would be seen as bad for the record we live

764
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 4: in the US. She is becoming more and more insistent

765
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,399
Speaker 4: that someone in the family should take care of her.

766
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 4: My granddad, however, says they are too old in their eighties,

767
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,399
Speaker 4: and has been angry because he believes my mother did

768
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 4: this to herself. I think it's just his way of

769
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 4: dealing with the situation and handle grief. He refuses to

770
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 4: visit her, and my grandmother can only visit if one

771
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 4: of my uncle's accompanies her. My grandmother is insisting that

772
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 4: my sister I should allow my mother to move in

773
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,279
Speaker 4: and take care of her. She even offered to move

774
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 4: into to help. I told her no, that I have

775
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 4: to focus on my growing family, and that I don't

776
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 4: have the time or resources to take her to dialysis

777
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 4: and medical appointments. Nor do I want to handle the

778
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 4: conflict when my mother refuses to cooperate if she decides

779
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 4: to drink or has an episode. I don't want my

780
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 4: child to be around that.

781
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 3: So I looked it up.

782
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 6: Yes, the Wernick Corsokoffs syndrome WUKS short is a serious

783
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:43,000
Speaker 6: neurological disorder caused by thiamine vitamin B one deficiency, often

784
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 6: due to chronic alcohol abuse. So that makes sense here

785
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 6: and consists of two stages, the Warnick the short term acute,

786
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:55,399
Speaker 6: the one that was stated, and then there's the corsokofs ndrome,

787
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 6: a long term chronic memory disorder. Pretty much is just

788
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 6: intense inflammation swelling their brain. Yeah, none of it's good.

789
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is I mean, I just don't think that

790
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 4: sending her to live with the grandparents is going to help.

791
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:17,360
Speaker 1: No, don't listen to that woman. She's just old fashioned.

792
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, and maybe she's Cuban and doesn't trust the government.

793
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 1: But trust you, and you know what, trust the government

794
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 1: a little less.

795
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 4: Whatever.

796
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 1: However much you trust the government right now, trust it

797
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 1: a little less.

798
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 4: And also so trust professionals over eighty year olds who

799
00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 4: don't have the means to take care of a very

800
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 4: you know, a very sick woman.

801
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 5: Your mom has a severe chronic neurological condition, and you

802
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 5: are starting a family and are having a child, not

803
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 5: the time to take care of it.

804
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,479
Speaker 1: Fully grown a human who also never prioritized you.

805
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, and also, I mean you are already taking a

806
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 4: lot of responsibility on by being the main point of contact.

807
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 4: My sister feels the same way. She wants to focus

808
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 4: on her two kids and feels like she has already

809
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 4: enabled my mother enough. My grandmother did not take the

810
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,280
Speaker 4: news well. Now a few of my cousins are calling

811
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,960
Speaker 4: me and saying that family should care for family, that

812
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 4: my mom cared for me as best as she could,

813
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,720
Speaker 4: and that now it's my turn to care for her. Normally,

814
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 4: I'd never let this kind of thing get to me,

815
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 4: but the pregnancy hormones are punting in and I feel awful.

816
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 4: Am I the ale for refusing to care for my

817
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 4: mother and letting a third party be her guardian? No, no,

818
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 4: you're not new. I mean It's just very few people

819
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 4: are equipped to deal with this kind of problem, and

820
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 4: you should never feel bad about, you know, knowing your limits.

821
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 5: Edit.

822
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 4: One thing I didn't mention is that it's currently kind

823
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 4: of an open secret in my family that I'm pregnant.

824
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 4: I haven't officially announced it because I'm a nine weeks

825
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 4: a long. I don't want to announce until the second trimester,

826
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 4: but my family members are convinced, and I think my

827
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 4: grandma suspects that this is the reason for my reluctance.

828
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 4: She knows we've been trying. I also want to say

829
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 4: that I love my grandma, but she's hurting right now

830
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 4: and feels like she has failed her daughter. I'm trying

831
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 4: to be as patient as humanly possible with her. I'm

832
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 4: reaching my limit, but I don't want to yell at

833
00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 4: my eighty plus year old grandmother. There is a court

834
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,720
Speaker 4: date to make the guardianship official on Friday. I spoke

835
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 4: with the guardian this morning about my grandmother's objections. She

836
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 4: suggested that my sister and I sit down with my grandmother,

837
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 4: the social worker, and the doctor at my mother's facility

838
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 4: to address her concerns and work out a schedule for

839
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 4: my grandmother to visit twice per week. She's trying to

840
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 4: set that up after the court hearing on Friday. The

841
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:50,800
Speaker 4: cousins in question are nosy, busybodies, and I don't like them.

842
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 4: They are the product of my uncle's previous marriage to

843
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 4: a religious zelate who hated our family and I hated her.

844
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 4: I had no problem telling their father, but it occurred,

845
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 4: and sent him screenshots of their text messages. He yelled

846
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 4: at them, saying my mother's condition is too severe for

847
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 4: her to live with anyone and that they need to

848
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 4: stay out of it and mind their business. I told

849
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 4: them where to stick it and not to contact my

850
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 4: sister or me about this again. I let my hormones

851
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 4: get to me yesterday. I think I'll try to update

852
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 4: this weekend. Reddit has become a major sanity check for me,

853
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 4: and there is another update.

854
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,320
Speaker 1: Update a rony number six.

855
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 4: Why don't we let's get into this update. We had

856
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:36,280
Speaker 4: the court date. My mother is officially under a guardianship.

857
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 4: My grandmother did lodge an official objection to the guardianship

858
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 4: and set her peace. She was shut down by the judge,

859
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:45,959
Speaker 4: who said the amount of care and security my mother

860
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:49,360
Speaker 4: needs is an undue burden on my family and straight

861
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 4: up said family was deemed incapable of caring for my

862
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 4: mother by hospital social workers before she was transferred to rehab.

863
00:41:56,080 --> 00:42:00,880
Speaker 4: Which is good that the judge ruled correctly.

864
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 1: Like a judge that rules correctly. Yes, that judge rules.

865
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:07,000
Speaker 4: He also said if my mother were deemed competent, she

866
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 4: could be looking at felony domestic violence charge as well.

867
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 4: I doubt she will be ruled competent. My grandma was

868
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 4: mad and almost had to be ejected from the courtroom,

869
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 4: but she calmed down. The next day, my sister and

870
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,760
Speaker 4: I took my grandma to the hospital my mom is at.

871
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 4: She currently is in rehab slash a psychiatric hospital, and

872
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 4: will be here for at least the next year and

873
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:31,839
Speaker 4: possibly for good, depending how the next year goes. Her

874
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:35,360
Speaker 4: attending physician and social worker was there along with the guardian,

875
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 4: and I discovered they came in on a weekend just

876
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 4: to meet with us. That was very nice of them.

877
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 4: My grandmother doesn't really object to her being at this

878
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 4: facility and knew my mom needed help. It basically became

879
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 4: an intervention slash come to Jesus moment with my grandma

880
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 4: with the guardian's permission, they sat down and explained all

881
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 4: of my mother's health problems. They even went so far

882
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 4: as to show my grandma the picture of a normal

883
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 4: liver and the MRI scan of my mom's liver. They

884
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:08,360
Speaker 4: did the same with her brain. WO that is hard.

885
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 4: That would be really hard to see, especially as like

886
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:15,439
Speaker 4: the mom of this woman. The guardian also sat down

887
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:17,719
Speaker 4: and listed just how much legal trouble my mom had

888
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,919
Speaker 4: been getting herself into the past two years, and even

889
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 4: my sister and I were shocked, as we didn't know

890
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 4: just how many brushes with the law my mom had,

891
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 4: but they had become almost monthly occurrences. I ended up

892
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:31,919
Speaker 4: telling her what some of the fine folks have read.

893
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 4: It told me that neither my sister or I can

894
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:38,240
Speaker 4: keep her safe. What if she becomes aggressive or violent?

895
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 4: What if she hurt my sister's kids. We cannot make

896
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 4: our place secure enough to stay there. And the only

897
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:46,399
Speaker 4: way my mother's life even has a chance at being

898
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 4: saved is if she quits drinking. If she lives with us,

899
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 4: we cannot guarantee she won't drink. That staff here are

900
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 4: better equipped to handle all of her issues. All of

901
00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 4: us were very clear that none of this is Grandma's

902
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:02,320
Speaker 4: fault and Mom is reaping the consequences for her own choices.

903
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 4: Next up was probably the most heartbreaking part for my grandma.

904
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,440
Speaker 4: She saw my mother for the first time since all

905
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 4: of this happened. Now. I may have mentioned that my

906
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 4: mother was in a catatonic state when she was hospitalized.

907
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,760
Speaker 4: She still kind of goes in and out of the state.

908
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 4: I didn't take it really seriously at the time, but

909
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 4: it's still an ongoing issue, and some days she winds

910
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 4: up back into that state. In other days she is

911
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 4: more active. That day she was definitely more subdued and

912
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 4: very quiet. For anyone who knows anything about WKS, she

913
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 4: basically is living in a fifty first state scenario. She

914
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 4: as a day, goes to sleep, wakes up and has

915
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 4: no memory of the day before. That's crazy. I can

916
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 4: only imagine how scary it is.

917
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 5: For I think of all the great movies you can

918
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 5: watch for the first time over and over again.

919
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 1: I know it just to I mean, you have no

920
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,280
Speaker 1: horror a horror story.

921
00:44:55,320 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 5: I was just trying to find something. Oh, oh, don't

922
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 5: drink taxcess until your brain melts.

923
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:07,440
Speaker 4: Just the memory loss in general is so frightening to

924
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 4: me because I have both. I have both on both sides.

925
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,600
Speaker 4: I have grandparents, one whos already passed away and the

926
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 4: one who's still with us but who.

927
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:16,320
Speaker 1: Have memory loss.

928
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 4: And it's so frightening.

929
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 5: Just learn another language. Your three, learn as many languages

930
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 5: as possible.

931
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, actually, my grandma, who has dementia, knows

932
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:32,040
Speaker 4: like multiple languages. We should have known more, man, I'll

933
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 4: tell her. A staff member basically has to remind her

934
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 4: day in and day out where she is and how

935
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 4: she wound up there. They keep a copy of the

936
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 4: police report on her nightstand. She still is very confused

937
00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:45,360
Speaker 4: a lot of the time, and also getting used to

938
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 4: being on medication for her bipolar disorder too. We've seen

939
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:51,759
Speaker 4: a lot of improvements since she started liver dialysis, so

940
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,319
Speaker 4: we're somewhat hopeful she will get a little better in time.

941
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 4: She's lost some weight, but looks way less put together

942
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:01,320
Speaker 4: and haggard. Her skin looks less yellow, but she's very pale.

943
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 4: That's also scary of like having your liver fail, you.

944
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 5: Know, and you get the yeah, jaundiced, you don't want

945
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 5: to be yellow, Nolla scary.

946
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 4: She was sitting and trying to write. When we came,

947
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,799
Speaker 4: my grandma broke down when she saw her. My mother

948
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:21,320
Speaker 4: cried too, and kept repeating, I'm sorry. Oh. My sister

949
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,280
Speaker 4: and I decided to let them have some alone time

950
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 4: together and grabbed lunch across the street. When we came

951
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 4: back half an hour later, we told my grandmother we

952
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 4: had to get going and leave, but we'd bring her

953
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 4: back next week. My mom asked when she would leave,

954
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 4: and it was my grandma who said, honey, you'll need

955
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 4: to stay here for a while. Everyone here just wants

956
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,240
Speaker 4: to help, but in order for you to get better,

957
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 4: you have to stay here. My mom seems sad and

958
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 4: looked like she was about to cry again, but nodded

959
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:52,439
Speaker 4: her head. My sister and I gave her a hug.

960
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 4: But I think she's mad at us. One thing we

961
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 4: learned is that she thinks her kids put her here.

962
00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 4: If she wants to be mad at us, that's fine.

963
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,840
Speaker 4: Not even the second Grandma got situated in the backseat

964
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:06,040
Speaker 4: of our car, she broke down hard. She was sobbing

965
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:09,319
Speaker 4: the entire way back. I felt so bad for her.

966
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 4: Me My sister sat back there holding her while I

967
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 4: drove back to Grandma and Grandpa's house. We stayed with

968
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 4: Grandma for a bit as my grandpa gets agitated by

969
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 4: too much emotion. She apologized for her behavior and for

970
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 4: trying to force us to care for She realizes now

971
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,879
Speaker 4: how bad off my mom is and understand she's where

972
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,760
Speaker 4: she needs to be. She was sad, but doing better

973
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:33,840
Speaker 4: by the time we left. My grandpa said he and

974
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 4: my uncle will take her to visit on Tuesday, and

975
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,840
Speaker 4: I took some further advice and suggested be set up

976
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 4: a schedule for Grandma to visit two times per week.

977
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,040
Speaker 4: My sister and I agreed we will take her there

978
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:48,879
Speaker 4: once per month each as that's the most we can handle. Anyways,

979
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 4: I really hope this is my last update about my mother.

980
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:55,279
Speaker 4: What happens now no one knows, but she's safe and

981
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 4: can't hurt me or anyone anymore, and there is I

982
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 4: think maybe the final or penultimate update of this story.

983
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:09,399
Speaker 4: Seven and a half months later, Hi, I'm currently eight

984
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 4: months pregnant. Congrats, child will be assigned female at birth.

985
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 4: My spouse and I don't plan on assigning gender at

986
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 4: birth and will let them decide as they get older.

987
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 4: The pregnancy has gone relatively smoothly. I didn't do a

988
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 4: very good job of hiding my pregnancy that first tromester,

989
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 4: so by the time I announced I was pregnant, everyone

990
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 4: was nonchalant. My spouse and I are planning to have

991
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 4: one more child pretty quickly after this is born, to

992
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 4: complete our family, ideally within the next eighteen to twenty

993
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 4: four months. Baby is due middle of next month. Things

994
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:42,800
Speaker 4: have been going well since we got married. My spouse

995
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:44,720
Speaker 4: is figuring out that they may be a trans woman.

996
00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 4: I'm not surprised. I saw this coming, but both of

997
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 4: us agreed to wait on any transitioning until we had

998
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:54,319
Speaker 4: two babies. My family is well. I've been spending more

999
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 4: time with my dad and his family, including my aunt's

1000
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 4: uncle and my ninety three year old grandmother, my granda,

1001
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 4: my father on my mother's side, had a minor stroke.

1002
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:06,120
Speaker 4: His right arm doesn't move right. Oh you guys, can't

1003
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 4: catch a break geez. He's legally blind and can no

1004
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 4: longer drive, but he can talk and walk, even if

1005
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 4: it's difficult to times. After that drama with my grandpa,

1006
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 4: I've been putting a little more distance between my bio

1007
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 4: mom's side of the family. I get tired of the

1008
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 4: dysfunction drama. And petty fighting. I still love them and

1009
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 4: their family, but I need to focus on my family

1010
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 4: and not their dysfunction. I mean, you've gone through so

1011
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:35,920
Speaker 4: much with all of this, it is very fair to

1012
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 4: feel that you need a break, especially when you're starting

1013
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 4: your own family.

1014
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:41,959
Speaker 1: My mom is not good.

1015
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:45,280
Speaker 4: Her health is rapidly deteriorating. She's been going for kidney

1016
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 4: dialysis three times per week. In my previous post, I

1017
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 4: got a little confused. I thought it was liver dialysis,

1018
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:53,920
Speaker 4: but that's not really a thing. It turns out her

1019
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:57,840
Speaker 4: kidney function is poor too. She has acute cirrhosis of

1020
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 4: the liver and both her kidneys and liver are failing.

1021
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 4: The chances aren't looking good that she'll qualify for a transplant,

1022
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 4: as she's been diagnosed with alcohol related dementia. Without a transplant,

1023
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 4: her life expectancy is less than two years. The plan

1024
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,279
Speaker 4: is to move her into a skilled nursing facility and

1025
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 4: get her hospice care. On that front, I haven't visited

1026
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 4: in six months. All she really does anymore is stare

1027
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 4: at the window. She doesn't talk much or get out

1028
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 4: of bed often. She can barely walk. It was too

1029
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:29,280
Speaker 4: emotionally draining and stressful to visit her, so I stopped.

1030
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 4: That may sound heartless, but once again, I need to

1031
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,799
Speaker 4: look out for myself, and there's nothing I can say

1032
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 4: or do. I thought her being sickly would make me

1033
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:40,239
Speaker 4: feel something for her, but I only see someone who

1034
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 4: chose to do this to themselves instead of getting help. I

1035
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 4: know that isn't fair or necessarily true of a user,

1036
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 4: but disdain is the only emotion I can muster. My uncle,

1037
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 4: who is in AA, came to visit her. When he

1038
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 4: saw her, he said it only strengthened his resolve to

1039
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 4: stay sober. You saw firsthand what would happen if he didn't.

1040
00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 4: It's sad and someone embarrassing my mother is the poster

1041
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 4: child for why you stay sober. My sister has taken

1042
00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:12,240
Speaker 4: the lead and keeping up with her needs and visiting.

1043
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 4: She was always closest to my mom, So it makes sense.

1044
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 4: That's all I have. Maybe I'll check it again. I

1045
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 4: might be too busy.

1046
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:22,879
Speaker 1: To do so this this poster keeps lying.

1047
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:27,400
Speaker 4: About like last updates.

1048
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:31,320
Speaker 5: All right, four more updates after that, and it's.

1049
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 4: The most Oh I'm too hot, you're too hot. It's

1050
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 4: the most freaking like tragic post too.

1051
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:46,440
Speaker 1: Oh, it's gonna be like update. I've developed a condition

1052
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:49,320
Speaker 1: where every day I wake up and break both my legs.

1053
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 4: I really hope that this update is gonna be like,

1054
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:59,400
Speaker 4: my daughter is doing really well, my child's doing really well,

1055
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 4: my partner's amazing, and everyone's happy. That's what this updates.

1056
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 1: That's what it's going to be, folks.

1057
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 5: My daughter is now in Julia Bad, nine years old.

1058
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 1: They're a genius.

1059
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:20,720
Speaker 4: Update eight probably the last one we'll see for those

1060
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 4: that still care. I had my baby, she's beautiful. My

1061
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 4: spouse and I originally plan to have kids back to back,

1062
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:29,719
Speaker 4: but that seems insane to me. Now, yeah, maybe give

1063
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 4: yourself a break. You a lot that just happened.

1064
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:34,800
Speaker 1: That insane. A lot just happened.

1065
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,240
Speaker 4: I don't know if we necessarily need to jump into

1066
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 4: another baby immediately, because taking care of one baby is

1067
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 4: pretty difficult. Look at me, that's insane. We decided to

1068
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,640
Speaker 4: do IVF and surrogacy for the next one. My gender

1069
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:53,160
Speaker 4: dysphoria after pregnancy got kind of bad, but not PbD bad,

1070
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:55,520
Speaker 4: or if it was PbD, that's how it manifested. And

1071
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 4: I'm doing much better good. I'm doing what I can

1072
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:00,719
Speaker 4: now to feel comfortable with my self and over the

1073
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 4: summer will start IVF. After that, my spouse and I

1074
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 4: are going to transition together. That's cute. I love that

1075
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:12,640
Speaker 4: we're going strong. We're still figuring out how to transition

1076
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 4: with kids, but we'll figure it out.

1077
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:16,480
Speaker 1: I read my post on Best.

1078
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:19,799
Speaker 4: Of Retter Updates, which was weird. People had questions about

1079
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 4: why I distanced myself from my mom's side of the family.

1080
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,480
Speaker 4: I came to realize after my grandfather's stroke that there

1081
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 4: is a lot of drama on that side of the family,

1082
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 4: and I finally saw the dysfunction for what it was.

1083
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 4: I don't want my child exposed to that kind of

1084
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:35,799
Speaker 4: dysfunctional family. For the good of myself as a parent

1085
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 4: and my child, I decided to set boundaries and keep

1086
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:40,880
Speaker 4: my distance. I love them, but I cannot handle the

1087
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 4: dysfunction and the fights. My uncles have been better. I

1088
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 4: have actually been understanding and are working to be better.

1089
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,160
Speaker 4: I see and talk to a couple of them on

1090
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:54,400
Speaker 4: an individual basis. My grandparents not so much. My grandmother

1091
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 4: is angry with me and believes my dad and new

1092
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 4: spouse have brainwashed me.

1093
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:00,120
Speaker 1: Brainwash you into work out.

1094
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 4: Rainwatch you into what I thought you. Yeah, I thought

1095
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 4: you and your grandma were on.

1096
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 1: The same page.

1097
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:07,360
Speaker 4: Now, Grandma, what are you doing? She thinks family is

1098
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 4: family and I need to just accept my family as is.

1099
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:13,120
Speaker 4: I hope someday I can come back into the fold,

1100
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:14,720
Speaker 4: but not as things currently stand.

1101
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: Now.

1102
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 4: For the big news, my mother will pass away soon.

1103
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:21,479
Speaker 4: The plan is to stop dialysis, and she probably won't

1104
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:25,839
Speaker 4: last more than a day o her liver has shut

1105
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 4: down completely. I saw her this weekend to say goodbye.

1106
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:32,359
Speaker 4: I've never seen yellow skin like that before. I've kept

1107
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 4: myself out of the loop for my own sanity, so

1108
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:37,840
Speaker 4: I don't really know when or the logistics. I was

1109
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:40,719
Speaker 4: just told it's unlikely she'll see Thanksgiving this year. She

1110
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:43,880
Speaker 4: is unaware of herself and her surroundings. As messed up

1111
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:46,040
Speaker 4: as it is to say, I think her passing will

1112
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 4: be a mercy for all of us. Yours what's super

1113
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:52,640
Speaker 4: messed up. I'm honestly relieved that this is happening. She

1114
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:55,680
Speaker 4: can't hurt anyone anymore, and most importantly, this problem will

1115
00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:58,760
Speaker 4: finally be over. I know how messed up that sounds.

1116
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,719
Speaker 4: I feel like a monster saying that, but I look

1117
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 4: at my daughter and realize my own mother chose booze

1118
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 4: over her children. I can't imagine doing anything like that,

1119
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:09,319
Speaker 4: And I'm not going to transition into this.

1120
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,880
Speaker 1: Why oof, you don't feel like that's a good spot.

1121
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 2: Don't feel like you can do that?

1122
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 1: Make that lighthearted.

1123
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 4: By the way, you can listen to full episodes of

1124
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:21,960
Speaker 4: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast,

1125
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 4: or your favorite podcast app and search up Okay story time.

1126
00:55:24,600 --> 00:55:26,919
Speaker 4: And there is a little bit left to this very

1127
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 4: sad story. But my final thought before we read the

1128
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 4: end is that OKI don't feel bad about, you know,

1129
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 4: being relieved about this.

1130
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,560
Speaker 1: I think that feelings.

1131
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 4: Towards parents who have wronged you repeatedly and then get

1132
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:49,280
Speaker 4: very very sick and you're watching them kind of slowly,

1133
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 4: you know, get worse and worse, you have the feeling

1134
00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 4: of one, you know, I've had to deal with this

1135
00:55:56,280 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 4: woman my whole life, and also watching like watching that

1136
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 4: sometimes it's just better for them to, you know, be

1137
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:08,920
Speaker 4: released from that pain. So I don't think that you

1138
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 4: have anything to feel bad about, because that's a that's

1139
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 4: a really complicated that's a really complicated thing to experience.

1140
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:17,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, if anything that feels like a normal reaction.

1141
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean, even when people have normal relationships with

1142
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 4: their parents, watching them go through something like that is like, honestly,

1143
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:27,960
Speaker 4: it's just better, that's the Yeah, Like it's not they're

1144
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 4: not they're not They're not having a good life experience

1145
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 4: at that point, you know, Yeah, which is really hard

1146
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 4: to deal with, but you know, so, honestly, what good

1147
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:39,320
Speaker 4: is she to the world at that point? She failed

1148
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 4: as a mother, and for the last decade she's been

1149
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:44,239
Speaker 4: nothing more than annoying stranger to me. I wish things

1150
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:46,960
Speaker 4: could have been different, but they weren't, and it will

1151
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,279
Speaker 4: be nice to move on from this once and for all.

1152
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:51,360
Speaker 4: I don't think there's any need to update on this

1153
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:55,520
Speaker 4: account again since my mother will be gone soon. I

1154
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 4: want to move forward with my life. That said, thank

1155
00:56:58,080 --> 00:56:59,960
Speaker 4: you to everyone, even those who were critical.

1156
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 1: I get it.

1157
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:04,359
Speaker 4: I really learned from reading the comments, and I want

1158
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:07,480
Speaker 4: to say thank you one last time, and that is

1159
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:12,279
Speaker 4: the end of that story. Mingming says also Op he

1160
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,879
Speaker 4: needs therapy for her resentment and move on without hate

1161
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 4: her nerds, Absolutely, and that's going to take a lot

1162
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 4: of time. That's going to take a lot of time

1163
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:24,760
Speaker 4: to move past that because they never I mean, Opie

1164
00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 4: was never able to get closure of any kind because

1165
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 4: in the process of having those arguments with their mom,

1166
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:38,920
Speaker 4: that's when all of us went really downhill. Kat says,

1167
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 4: I think you have that feeling with anyone you love

1168
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:45,920
Speaker 4: who has been ill for a long time. But there

1169
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 4: is an That is the end of the episode, I believe.

1170
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,600
Speaker 4: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1171
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 1: We love you and see you tomorrow.

1172
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,080
Speaker 3: Hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories. But

1173
00:57:57,160 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 3: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. This is

1174
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 3: an episode from deep within the Archives.

1175
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 1: Time for okop reword.

1176
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 2: I might birth my baby and my sister's baby shower

1177
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 2: and steal the spotlight, but I have reasons.

1178
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:13,800
Speaker 3: I want to hear those reasons. I want them to

1179
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 3: be on record. Is it a home birth If it's

1180
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 3: at your sister's home and at her baby shower, it's.

1181
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:21,240
Speaker 2: A shower, Berth, I say, well, let's go. You know

1182
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:22,720
Speaker 2: what I mean, baby shower.

1183
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:28,960
Speaker 3: A baby shower is actually because your water breaks at

1184
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 3: the shower, right exactly, I'm trying to I don't know

1185
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 3: the true reason.

1186
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 1: I'm trying to help shower.

1187
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:41,680
Speaker 3: If I wasn't there, I twenty three female. Am currently

1188
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:45,080
Speaker 3: eight months pregnant. Yo, that's Hella pregnant. Bro, Hella pregnant.

1189
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:48,280
Speaker 2: You are pregnant now. We had been keeping it a

1190
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:51,080
Speaker 2: secret and plan to tell people around this time. But

1191
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,919
Speaker 2: a few months after my pregnancy, my sister in law

1192
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 2: twenty six female, found out that she was pregnant, and

1193
00:58:56,960 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 2: then it just felt awkward to announce, which I mean,

1194
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:02,800
Speaker 2: I don't know, I have to think about that one.

1195
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 3: I feel like it's you know, wait a week and

1196
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:05,000
Speaker 3: then announce it.

1197
00:59:05,240 --> 00:59:09,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, like that's It's not like sister announces pregnancy. I

1198
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 2: could never announce a pregnancy ever again, Like, but I

1199
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:12,600
Speaker 2: don't know.

1200
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've also never been pregnant, so I don't really

1201
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 3: know the dynamics. Yeah, this this whole world.

1202
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:20,000
Speaker 2: You are no birther. We just wanted to wait for

1203
00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:22,800
Speaker 2: the right time. So I've been married to my husband

1204
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,600
Speaker 2: for only six months, but we've been together on and

1205
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 2: off since we were fourteen, but permanently together since we were sixty.

1206
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,160
Speaker 1: Wow, dang, bro, that's a while.

1207
00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 3: Bro. I guess that's still high school sweethearts. But that's

1208
00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 3: like right at the beginning of high school.

1209
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:39,840
Speaker 2: And when we were seventeen, I found out I was pregnant,

1210
00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:42,920
Speaker 2: but I had complications. I gave birth to a premie

1211
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 2: still born at twenty five weeks, absolutely heartbreaking. So this pregnancy,

1212
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 2: we've been extra cautious and secretive.

1213
00:59:49,440 --> 00:59:52,520
Speaker 3: I understand that something I didn't know is like often

1214
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:56,040
Speaker 3: pregnant women will not announce they're pregnant until they're sure

1215
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:59,080
Speaker 3: everything's okay with a baby because like often, like you

1216
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:01,480
Speaker 3: can have like a miss carriage early on totally or

1217
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,080
Speaker 3: any number of things could go wrong with the pregnancy.

1218
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 3: So like, you know, even if you are pregnant, like

1219
01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 3: you're like you'd almost treat it as like an in

1220
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:12,000
Speaker 3: between land sometimes, especially with like extended family, not with

1221
01:00:12,040 --> 01:00:15,120
Speaker 3: your partner. But yeah, yeah, I understand that. I understand

1222
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:18,000
Speaker 3: wanting to be a little bit secretive about totally you know,

1223
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,680
Speaker 3: if you've had the baby or not, or like if

1224
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:21,479
Speaker 3: you're having a baby.

1225
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, so many, so many people have multiple miscarriages, so

1226
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, it's like, oh, yeah, that's a tricky one.

1227
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 1: Now.

1228
01:00:28,120 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 2: I haven't seen family much these past few months, and

1229
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 2: I carry small, but I've developed cute little baby bump

1230
01:00:34,760 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 2: and I've been wearing hoodies and loose clothing. I'm assuming

1231
01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:38,880
Speaker 2: you're eight months.

1232
01:00:38,560 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 3: Pregnant a little buf you know, just a little b bro,

1233
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:46,880
Speaker 3: that's crazy. How long was your mom pregnant with you?

1234
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:48,440
Speaker 2: Ten or eleven months or so?

1235
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:51,680
Speaker 3: No way, yeah's pregnant with you for eleven months.

1236
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:55,480
Speaker 2: She has this full explanation. I basically came out looking

1237
01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:58,440
Speaker 2: just like this, just like this with a full beard.

1238
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:01,520
Speaker 2: Now we were hesitant on me going. I was just

1239
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:04,200
Speaker 2: going to send my husband with a gift for me,

1240
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:06,800
Speaker 2: but my sister in law said she really wanted me there,

1241
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:09,439
Speaker 2: and so I decided to try my best to hide

1242
01:01:09,440 --> 01:01:11,960
Speaker 2: the baby bump and go. It was going well. No

1243
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 2: one was noticing. No one had a clue.

1244
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:16,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, like she just gained a bunch of weights or

1245
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:19,560
Speaker 3: I mean. I got a few looks, but no one

1246
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 3: asked me anything. Then about an hour in, I started.

1247
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:27,920
Speaker 2: Having tiny cramps that eventually got more aggressive. I told

1248
01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,840
Speaker 2: my husband we need to leave and I need to

1249
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 2: go to the hospital. As we were walking, a sharp

1250
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:36,439
Speaker 2: pain hit me and I grabbed the picnic table next

1251
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 2: to me and stumbled over, causing attention to myself. I

1252
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:43,240
Speaker 2: really thought I was in labor. The pain was so intense.

1253
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:46,720
Speaker 2: People started surrounding us, asking what the matter was, and

1254
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 2: my husband said, she's pregnant. Guy, she's pregnant. Something's going on.

1255
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 2: We have to leave.

1256
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:54,040
Speaker 3: Oh, she's at the baby shower. So he ended up

1257
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:56,040
Speaker 3: brushing me to the hospital. By the time we got

1258
01:01:56,080 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 3: to the hospital, my pains have subsided. They said it

1259
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 3: was a false labor. This part is crazy.

1260
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 2: My husband and I both had angry texts for my

1261
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:07,240
Speaker 2: sister in law and other guests at the party about

1262
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 2: us hiding the pregnancy, how messed up it was, and

1263
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:13,320
Speaker 2: how they couldn't believe I showed up pregnant and was

1264
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:16,840
Speaker 2: secret about it, and how I had this whole baby

1265
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 2: stunt as someone else's shower. Just a lot of not

1266
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 2: nice messages. No one asked if I was all right. Damn,

1267
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:25,680
Speaker 2: Come on.

1268
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,120
Speaker 3: Before we get into it, let us know, like who

1269
01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 3: you think is the A hole? Are there the angels

1270
01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:32,560
Speaker 3: in this story? And then we'll give you our take

1271
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:35,360
Speaker 3: on the breakdown. Let us know, all right, Sam, let's

1272
01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 3: get into the breakdown. Is OP the A hole or

1273
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 3: the angel or someone else? So like, all right, this

1274
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:44,800
Speaker 3: is please don't roast me too hard, guys, I just

1275
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 3: don't know much about what are What's like the right

1276
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:49,680
Speaker 3: thing to do when pregnant. So I could be totally

1277
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:53,560
Speaker 3: wrong here, but it seems like eight months is long

1278
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:56,960
Speaker 3: enough for you to like tell your your family at

1279
01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:59,640
Speaker 3: least what's going on. So, like, I think it's a

1280
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:03,320
Speaker 3: little bit weird to not say anything for that long,

1281
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:06,200
Speaker 3: Like I think your family should know, especially before the

1282
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:08,600
Speaker 3: baby shower. You kind of did your like a little

1283
01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:11,480
Speaker 3: announcement at this baby shower. And I know it's not

1284
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 3: you know, it wasn't Opie's fault or anything, but it's

1285
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:16,720
Speaker 3: like if she had just said, hey, I'm pregnant, like

1286
01:03:16,800 --> 01:03:20,280
Speaker 3: a week after her sister had her announcement, yeah, I

1287
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:22,400
Speaker 3: think a lot of like everything would have been fine.

1288
01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:24,440
Speaker 3: But dude, you're like eight months pregnant, like you should,

1289
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 3: like you should what are you going to tell your family?

1290
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:28,720
Speaker 3: Like what the baby was bored? But it's also, you know,

1291
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:32,560
Speaker 3: like it's not like she didn't intend to exact to

1292
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:36,240
Speaker 3: have like a a contraction at this event. Yeah, so

1293
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:38,160
Speaker 3: I think it's a little weird that she didn't tell

1294
01:03:38,160 --> 01:03:40,400
Speaker 3: her family, But it's also like it's not her fault.

1295
01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,640
Speaker 3: She didn't mean to pull a stunt. You know, she

1296
01:03:42,760 --> 01:03:45,360
Speaker 3: wasn't doing it out of trying to grab attention, So

1297
01:03:45,400 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 3: I don't. I think ope is a little bit the

1298
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,600
Speaker 3: A hole for not telling her family and waiting for

1299
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 3: so long, but definitely not the a hole for accidentally

1300
01:03:53,280 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 3: having you know, like a pregnancy complication at this baby shower. Yeah.

1301
01:03:57,440 --> 01:04:00,200
Speaker 2: Ultimately, the family is the clear a hole here where

1302
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 2: it's like okay, yeah, like again, there's probably some opportunity

1303
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:07,040
Speaker 2: to share the pregnancy earlier. Also, this is literally like

1304
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 2: her mom as well, I believe in all of these texts,

1305
01:04:10,280 --> 01:04:13,640
Speaker 2: and I don't know it's the sister in law, so

1306
01:04:13,680 --> 01:04:16,160
Speaker 2: it's the in laws and family everything About'm like, are

1307
01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:18,880
Speaker 2: you not concerned? Like it's crazy?

1308
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:22,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, you should ask, like she could have been serious,

1309
01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:24,200
Speaker 3: you know, like don't you care about her baby too?

1310
01:04:24,320 --> 01:04:27,040
Speaker 3: I feel like there could have been some things that

1311
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:29,440
Speaker 3: OPI could have done to make it a little bit better,

1312
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:32,640
Speaker 3: but ultimately, like it's not her fault that she had,

1313
01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:35,040
Speaker 3: you know, contractions at this baby shower.

1314
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:39,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, Like there's nothing you could do. Again, It's like,

1315
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:40,919
Speaker 2: I don't know if I call Opie the A hole,

1316
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 2: but like yeah, it's like there's probably some sort of

1317
01:04:43,880 --> 01:04:46,840
Speaker 2: form of fashion of introducing it earlier, but ultimately it's like,

1318
01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:49,040
Speaker 2: what are you going to tell her, like stop having labor?

1319
01:04:49,160 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 3: Like yeah, exactly. And also let's say, let's say let's

1320
01:04:53,240 --> 01:04:56,440
Speaker 3: give another scenario. Let's say she was everyone knew she

1321
01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:58,480
Speaker 3: was pregnant, and she's going to this thing. Would they

1322
01:04:58,640 --> 01:04:59,600
Speaker 3: still get mad at her?

1323
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:03,360
Speaker 2: Actually, Like that's the energy that I'm getting from them, honestly.

1324
01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:03,880
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1325
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:06,200
Speaker 3: But I also don't know about like, like does another

1326
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:08,919
Speaker 3: pregnant woman come to a baby shower? Like I think

1327
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:12,360
Speaker 3: so I would have to imagine, yeah, like it seems

1328
01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:15,000
Speaker 3: weird to get mad at her over this, But again,

1329
01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:17,440
Speaker 3: I'll just go no. I would love to know what

1330
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:19,480
Speaker 3: you guys think. Put it in the comments below, though.

1331
01:05:19,440 --> 01:05:19,960
Speaker 2: Let us know.

1332
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:26,080
Speaker 3: My mom won't leave me alone in the shower. Okayop,

1333
01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:29,760
Speaker 3: this is Okayop. I'm Samuel Honnor and I'm John Fry

1334
01:05:29,880 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 3: and we tell the funniest stories on the internet. And John,

1335
01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:35,600
Speaker 3: I don't know if, like when you were growing up

1336
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:37,600
Speaker 3: this ever happened to you, but like, did your parents

1337
01:05:37,640 --> 01:05:40,320
Speaker 3: ever just like knocked and like bust in your room

1338
01:05:40,880 --> 01:05:42,920
Speaker 3: without man?

1339
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:45,880
Speaker 2: There were some close calls, you know, there are some

1340
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:46,640
Speaker 2: close calls.

1341
01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:50,480
Speaker 3: My parents are like a big fan of like knocking

1342
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:54,040
Speaker 3: but then just going in regardless. That's an interesting way

1343
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 3: said at the knock. But I have I have a

1344
01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:02,600
Speaker 3: video that's gonna up the air. Okay, okay, my mom

1345
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:05,880
Speaker 3: won't leave me alone in the shower, Billy, don't drop me,

1346
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:10,280
Speaker 3: so oh my god, Mom's got that strap on, ready

1347
01:06:10,360 --> 01:06:17,440
Speaker 3: to take advantage of any opportunity. Started off with a banger,

1348
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:22,000
Speaker 3: started off with a banger. Seriously, you're the pun in

1349
01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 3: tund Okay. I've posted a few times in the subreddit

1350
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:29,960
Speaker 3: about my narcissistic mom and I've received overwhelming support. But

1351
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:32,560
Speaker 3: something struck me the other day. And it wasn't that

1352
01:06:32,600 --> 01:06:33,800
Speaker 3: strap on the shower.

1353
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:37,880
Speaker 2: Wasn't that big piece of plastic rates special.

1354
01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:42,480
Speaker 3: Delivery Cardinal mom deliver room boxes all day and I

1355
01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 3: thought i'd share. I live with my narcissisic mom and

1356
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:48,040
Speaker 3: my regular dad. Still I love how it's like. Still,

1357
01:06:48,080 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 3: I'm twenty four. A year and a half ago, my

1358
01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:53,120
Speaker 3: dad invited my boyfriend of three years to come live

1359
01:06:53,160 --> 01:06:55,640
Speaker 3: with us when his family was going through a hard time.

1360
01:06:55,760 --> 01:06:57,640
Speaker 3: We had the money to take him in. My family

1361
01:06:57,800 --> 01:07:00,320
Speaker 3: loves him, and my dad actually suggested it. My father

1362
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 3: is overwhelmingly supportive. Both emotionally and financially. But that doesn't

1363
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:08,120
Speaker 3: make my narcissistic mom any less of a narcissistic mom.

1364
01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:09,960
Speaker 3: Uh oh, it just gives me a little more support.

1365
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:15,200
Speaker 3: My narcissistic mom has certain ideas of privacy, and we're

1366
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:18,880
Speaker 3: not talking like snowed in privacy making sure all of

1367
01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:21,200
Speaker 3: our government secrets are out there in the world. We're

1368
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:23,800
Speaker 3: talking about she's just all up in your business. There

1369
01:07:23,920 --> 01:07:26,760
Speaker 3: was none. I was not safe to be alone and

1370
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:30,160
Speaker 3: uninterrupted anywhere in my house if she was awake. It

1371
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:33,160
Speaker 3: didn't matter if the door was closed. She had access

1372
01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:35,600
Speaker 3: to that room, whether someone was in it or not.

1373
01:07:36,200 --> 01:07:40,360
Speaker 3: All access passed, all like this level five clearance were

1374
01:07:40,400 --> 01:07:42,240
Speaker 3: anywhere in the house anytime she wants.

1375
01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:42,920
Speaker 1: But that's weird.

1376
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:44,560
Speaker 2: It's like, what do you just barge into a room

1377
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,680
Speaker 2: when someone's napping and like take a call or something.

1378
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:49,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, height, this is my house. I can call wherever

1379
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:52,040
Speaker 3: I want to unless they have like two rooms, you know.

1380
01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:54,160
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think it's just a narcisstic mom.

1381
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:57,840
Speaker 3: Just a narcissistic mom opening them doors, opening them doors.

1382
01:07:58,040 --> 01:08:00,160
Speaker 3: When I was a child, she would walk in to

1383
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:02,920
Speaker 3: the bathroom or my bedroom without second thought, which I

1384
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:05,400
Speaker 3: guess is okay if you're little, but I always thought, okay,

1385
01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:07,840
Speaker 3: it's my mom, she changed my diapers, whatever. But it

1386
01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:10,640
Speaker 3: started to get really weird when I went through and

1387
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:15,000
Speaker 3: finished puberty. My mother would burst through the bathroom door

1388
01:08:15,120 --> 01:08:17,160
Speaker 3: the exact moment when I was in the shower to

1389
01:08:17,280 --> 01:08:21,360
Speaker 3: use the toilet. Oh my god, So that's weird, but

1390
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:25,760
Speaker 3: it's especially weird when we have a perfectly functioning second bathroom.

1391
01:08:26,760 --> 01:08:29,559
Speaker 2: Honestly, this takes the cake. Your mom is using the

1392
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:32,800
Speaker 2: toilet while you are in the shower.

1393
01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:35,640
Speaker 3: So let's just disregard the fact that she's thinking up

1394
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:38,799
Speaker 3: the place while you're trying to enjoy a nice, relaxing shower.

1395
01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:40,120
Speaker 3: So she's just freaking weird.

1396
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:43,840
Speaker 2: Bro, that's absolutely like way way weird.

1397
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:45,880
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, no no no no no no

1398
01:08:45,880 --> 01:08:50,320
Speaker 3: no no no. This was bothersome, yes, but it happened constantly.

1399
01:08:50,479 --> 01:08:53,320
Speaker 3: Almost every shower I took was interrupted. And not only that,

1400
01:08:53,479 --> 01:08:56,280
Speaker 3: my mother would make comments about how I washed myself

1401
01:08:56,680 --> 01:08:59,280
Speaker 3: or shaved my legs or whatever to like, hey, they

1402
01:08:59,280 --> 01:09:02,600
Speaker 3: should have gett into the crack, Jimmy or Jamie or Jessica.

1403
01:09:02,840 --> 01:09:09,440
Speaker 3: Good god, oh gosh, yeah, miss this fine, Oh.

1404
01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:10,679
Speaker 2: My goodness, this is just slow.

1405
01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:14,920
Speaker 3: She would literally coach me on how to shower and

1406
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:17,200
Speaker 3: tell me, hey, you're doing it all wrong. All right,

1407
01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:18,960
Speaker 3: like this is really weird, but I'd like to take

1408
01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:21,240
Speaker 3: a moment. There are a lot of people that never

1409
01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:24,439
Speaker 3: learn how to poop properly because like they didn't have

1410
01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:26,840
Speaker 3: someone in the room like coaching them.

1411
01:09:27,439 --> 01:09:29,680
Speaker 2: Oh, like you're supposed to like lift your legs or

1412
01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:31,720
Speaker 2: or what's that like squatty potty.

1413
01:09:31,439 --> 01:09:36,400
Speaker 3: Or we don't talk about. We don't talk about. It's unfortunate. Yeah,

1414
01:09:36,439 --> 01:09:40,479
Speaker 3: we need potty trainers, right, Potty training shouldn't end at three.

1415
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:43,439
Speaker 3: We need potty contillion because like, there are people on

1416
01:09:43,479 --> 01:09:46,639
Speaker 3: Reddit that are like, how do you tell whether you're finished,

1417
01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:48,840
Speaker 3: you know, wiping, And it's like, bruh, you check the

1418
01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:52,240
Speaker 3: scorecard and if you're leaving ones all over that dish,

1419
01:09:52,280 --> 01:09:55,240
Speaker 3: you pavor, you're not done. Some people will just put

1420
01:09:55,280 --> 01:09:58,920
Speaker 3: their underwear on and not even check the scorecard. They

1421
01:09:58,920 --> 01:10:01,280
Speaker 3: see if they're done wiping in the scorecard, that's great

1422
01:10:01,320 --> 01:10:04,240
Speaker 3: to check the scorecard. Several years ago, my grandfather with

1423
01:10:04,360 --> 01:10:07,479
Speaker 3: late stage Alzheimer's would wander into her house and just

1424
01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:09,439
Speaker 3: look for people to talk to He would open the

1425
01:10:09,479 --> 01:10:11,600
Speaker 3: door while you were using the bathroom to talk to you,

1426
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,120
Speaker 3: and we did everything we could to stop him, leaving

1427
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:17,680
Speaker 3: notes on the door saying don't come in, whatever we

1428
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:20,519
Speaker 3: could think of. Sadly, we had to replace the bathroom

1429
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:22,160
Speaker 3: door with a door with a lock. None of our

1430
01:10:22,160 --> 01:10:24,519
Speaker 3: internal doors in the house have locks, by the way, oh,

1431
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:25,960
Speaker 3: which I guess, which is why.

1432
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:29,360
Speaker 2: Part of system the open door policy system.

1433
01:10:29,720 --> 01:10:32,439
Speaker 3: This was great for op though, because I would lock

1434
01:10:32,479 --> 01:10:35,520
Speaker 3: the door constantly to keep my mother and my grandfather,

1435
01:10:35,680 --> 01:10:38,600
Speaker 3: but mostly my mother out. Thank god, my mother realized

1436
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:43,200
Speaker 3: what I was doing lock taking a dumper, and once

1437
01:10:43,240 --> 01:10:46,320
Speaker 3: my grandfather passed away, she broke the lock on the

1438
01:10:46,400 --> 01:10:48,800
Speaker 3: door so I could no longer lock her out. My

1439
01:10:48,920 --> 01:10:51,719
Speaker 3: father will always knock on my bedroom door, especially since

1440
01:10:51,720 --> 01:10:54,519
Speaker 3: my boyfriend both lives and sleeps with me in my room.

1441
01:10:54,680 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 3: He's knocked at some definitely inopportune times, sure, but he's

1442
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:02,160
Speaker 3: always knocked. Has been fine. They're doing the thirty. The

1443
01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:07,320
Speaker 3: last straw was my mother walking in constantly, even once

1444
01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:09,960
Speaker 3: my boyfriend moved in trying to get a live show.

1445
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:12,400
Speaker 3: Got to pay for that all my fan evidence. She

1446
01:11:12,479 --> 01:11:16,320
Speaker 3: walked in on me, changing on him changing and one

1447
01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:18,320
Speaker 3: time she walked in on the two of us in

1448
01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:23,479
Speaker 3: an intimate situation. Oh god. My mother was furious and

1449
01:11:23,600 --> 01:11:26,120
Speaker 3: went to my father about how she could do something

1450
01:11:26,200 --> 01:11:29,400
Speaker 3: like that in our house, and my father finally went

1451
01:11:29,439 --> 01:11:31,960
Speaker 3: off on her. She was being disrespectful to me for

1452
01:11:32,080 --> 01:11:35,000
Speaker 3: not respecting my privacy. I had no way of locking

1453
01:11:35,000 --> 01:11:36,800
Speaker 3: her out of my room. Doors are old and can't

1454
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:39,360
Speaker 3: be replaced. The doors with flocks really can't be replaced

1455
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:42,120
Speaker 3: with other doors. Sure, I'm pretty sure there's the door

1456
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:42,439
Speaker 3: guy that I.

1457
01:11:42,439 --> 01:11:46,200
Speaker 2: Feel like that's another lie in her kingdom of lawlessness.

1458
01:11:46,320 --> 01:11:48,360
Speaker 3: He said that it was my space and I was

1459
01:11:48,400 --> 01:11:50,960
Speaker 3: an adult. He gave her a thorough talking to about

1460
01:11:51,040 --> 01:11:55,840
Speaker 3: respect rspect and the fact that she didn't have any

1461
01:11:55,880 --> 01:11:57,880
Speaker 3: for me. But what was worse was that it was

1462
01:11:57,920 --> 01:12:00,800
Speaker 3: downright extremely rude to my boyfriend who I lived with us.

1463
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:02,200
Speaker 3: He even paid.

1464
01:12:01,920 --> 01:12:02,880
Speaker 1: My dad rugs.

1465
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:04,479
Speaker 2: Wow, even when they didn't ask for it.

1466
01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:06,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's cool, So he deserved the privacy that she

1467
01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:09,160
Speaker 3: was not giving to him. Ever since that talk, she's

1468
01:12:09,240 --> 01:12:12,759
Speaker 3: knocked when coming into my bedroom and bathroom. Thank the Lord,

1469
01:12:13,040 --> 01:12:15,280
Speaker 3: that's what should have been happening this whole time. This

1470
01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:17,639
Speaker 3: is the bare minimum bro. That's basically it's.

1471
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:19,720
Speaker 2: A tricky situation because you're like, you're living with your

1472
01:12:19,720 --> 01:12:22,960
Speaker 2: parents with your partner. Yeah, so it's like you gotta

1473
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:26,240
Speaker 2: you gotta give some space for naughty time. Yeah, yeah,

1474
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:31,080
Speaker 2: it's it's yeah. Wow, man, that that mom is absolutely

1475
01:12:31,160 --> 01:12:34,200
Speaker 2: and I mean so many lines, so many lines have

1476
01:12:34,240 --> 01:12:37,080
Speaker 2: been crossed. But you know, what's a line you should

1477
01:12:37,120 --> 01:12:39,759
Speaker 2: always cross? Yeah, what's the line you should always cross?

1478
01:12:39,880 --> 01:12:41,200
Speaker 3: Crossing the line.

1479
01:12:40,880 --> 01:12:44,520
Speaker 2: To that freaking subscribe, but subscribe.

1480
01:12:44,680 --> 01:12:47,720
Speaker 3: Follow us on Spotify, you know, if you want to

1481
01:12:47,720 --> 01:12:50,719
Speaker 3: be a real bro, support us on Patreon. That's right,

1482
01:12:50,800 --> 01:12:54,800
Speaker 3: like Kathy quickly, Kathy quickly, come on, Kathy actually heard

1483
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:55,559
Speaker 3: her call outs.

1484
01:12:55,400 --> 01:12:58,800
Speaker 2: Yet, I think she's commented on like the initial one.

1485
01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:02,919
Speaker 3: So we've had we have so so many Kathy Cathy's

1486
01:13:02,960 --> 01:13:07,160
Speaker 3: are really our hero. We love you, Kathy. That's right,

1487
01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:07,960
Speaker 3: forever and ever.

1488
01:13:10,360 --> 01:13:10,559
Speaker 4: Uh.

1489
01:13:11,040 --> 01:13:13,120
Speaker 3: I think with that we bid we bed a do

1490
01:13:13,360 --> 01:13:13,559
Speaker 3: see

1491
01:13:13,560 --> 01:13:14,120
Speaker 1: You next time.