WEBVTT - A&G Replay Friday Hour Four

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<v Speaker 1>And broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio, the

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<v Speaker 1>George Washington Broadcast Center, Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty, arm.

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<v Speaker 2>Strong and Getti and now Hee Armstrong and Getty Strong

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<v Speaker 2>and Not live from Studio c Armstrong and Getty. We're off,

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<v Speaker 2>We're taking a break.

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<v Speaker 3>Come on enjoy this carefully curated Armstrong and Getty replay.

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<v Speaker 3>And as long as we're off, perhaps you'd like to

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<v Speaker 3>catch up on podcasts, subscribe to Armstrong and Getty on demand,

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<v Speaker 3>or one more thing we think you'll enjoy.

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<v Speaker 4>It, sir.

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<v Speaker 5>YouTube will start guessing your age based on the types

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<v Speaker 5>of videos the user searches for and the categories of

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<v Speaker 5>videos they watch. For example, I watch restorations of World

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<v Speaker 5>War One, cigarette lighters and videos about knee pain, and

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<v Speaker 5>that's why YouTube correctly guessed my age of two hundred

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<v Speaker 5>and forty five.

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<v Speaker 6>So, honest to God, there needs to be some sort

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<v Speaker 6>of algorithm reset button that you can do.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 6>I shouldn't be afraid to search on things and think

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<v Speaker 6>I'd like to look that up, but then I'll end

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<v Speaker 6>up with nothing but that for the next six months.

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<v Speaker 4>So I don't look up some things like I had a.

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<v Speaker 6>Brief like week where I enjoyed those videos where they

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<v Speaker 6>have babies, like they have the audio from Trump, but

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<v Speaker 6>it's a baby Trump or whatever.

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<v Speaker 4>I enjoyed that for a couple of days.

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<v Speaker 6>But you know, Instagram or YouTube or whoever thought, well,

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<v Speaker 6>this is the only thing he likes in the world.

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<v Speaker 4>He likes it better than air, and so that's the

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<v Speaker 4>only thing I get fed. How do you turn that off? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>just give it time.

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<v Speaker 6>I remember I needed to look up something about the

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<v Speaker 6>OJ triud then endless OJA videos.

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<v Speaker 4>I got one I need. I don't need.

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<v Speaker 6>I don't need to OJ videos when I wake up

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<v Speaker 6>in the morning and click on YouTube. I don't need

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<v Speaker 6>fifteen different OJ videos.

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<v Speaker 3>Attack is going in the opposite direction. They are utterly convinced,

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<v Speaker 3>knowing you everything about.

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<v Speaker 6>I agree, but they're but you need But surely, but

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<v Speaker 6>surely they realize they're wrong about this.

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<v Speaker 4>So there's got to be a way to fix that.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know how they.

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<v Speaker 6>Would differentiate between things that actually are your passion, because

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<v Speaker 6>you can send me pretty much endless I don't know

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<v Speaker 6>guitar stuff, but OJ talking babies or you know, I

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<v Speaker 6>look up a review of a bicycle, then I buy

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<v Speaker 6>the bicycle.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't need any more bicycle videos for the rest

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<v Speaker 4>of my life.

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<v Speaker 6>Right, There's got to be a way to believe, to

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<v Speaker 6>clear out your algorithms. It'd be cool if you could

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<v Speaker 6>go to a page and it lists all of your

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<v Speaker 6>things that it thinks you're into, and you could click

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<v Speaker 6>the boxes and say, I am into these, I'm not

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<v Speaker 6>into these anymore, or score.

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<v Speaker 3>It one to five. You know, yeah, yeah, they'll probably

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<v Speaker 3>get that right at some point. But again, the trend

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<v Speaker 3>is toward more knowledge of you, which will be hacked

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<v Speaker 3>by the way, and more intimate and human like companionship

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<v Speaker 3>like it's your best friend, to which I say no, no,

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<v Speaker 3>thank you, and you always say there's no stopping it.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not worried about society. I'm worried about me and

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<v Speaker 3>the people I care about. That you do not have

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<v Speaker 3>to go along with what Silicon Valley thinks your life

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<v Speaker 3>ought to be.

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<v Speaker 4>Like I'm going to start a religion. It's not going

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<v Speaker 4>to be much of a religion.

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<v Speaker 3>But I'm going to start a religion our only principle,

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<v Speaker 3>and you can have your other religion too.

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<v Speaker 4>That's fine.

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<v Speaker 3>Is going to be sync for yourself. Don't just buy

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<v Speaker 3>what they're selling.

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<v Speaker 6>Joe starting a religion is Missianic complex finally gets on

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<v Speaker 6>the air.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, and I will be permitted to have at least

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<v Speaker 3>a dozen wives in this religion.

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<v Speaker 4>Just of course, go put the territory.

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<v Speaker 6>I clicked on one of the Sydney Sweeney videos for

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<v Speaker 6>the Blue Jeen thing for the show. But now Instagram thinks, oh,

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<v Speaker 6>you're one of those guys that likes to look at

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<v Speaker 6>you young hotties.

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<v Speaker 4>No I'm not.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm not, and I don't need endless young hot women.

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<v Speaker 6>That's the last thing I need. I know where to

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<v Speaker 6>find that on the internet if.

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<v Speaker 4>I want to look for it. Good lord.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so we all need to take turns watching the

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<v Speaker 3>hen house.

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<v Speaker 4>There are foxes watching the henhouses.

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<v Speaker 3>Of education, we've figured that out, and indoctrinating our children

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<v Speaker 3>and a couple of generations have been completely screwed up.

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<v Speaker 3>Now we have a lot of good folks getting on

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<v Speaker 3>school boards resisting you know, these perverse state laws and

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<v Speaker 3>board of education decisions, stuff like that.

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<v Speaker 4>Keep it up, y'all, you're doing great.

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<v Speaker 3>Got to get on those school boards and become part

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<v Speaker 3>of your local education scene. So the communists don't control

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<v Speaker 3>all of it libraries are the same thing. And I

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<v Speaker 3>remember hearing this a long time ago. Somebody was talking

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<v Speaker 3>to us. It might have been in a conversation with

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<v Speaker 3>Jim James Lindsay or one of his associates, talking about how,

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<v Speaker 3>by far the most liberal parts of the American scene

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<v Speaker 3>are at teachers, colleges and the education, education and libraries.

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<v Speaker 3>I remember seeing a poll that like, the library science

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<v Speaker 3>departments in universities are the most liberal or progressive or Marxist,

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<v Speaker 3>And I remember thinking at the time, boy, that's weird,

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<v Speaker 3>and it doesn't matter really, I mean library science.

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<v Speaker 4>How many graduates are there in that Well.

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<v Speaker 6>If they decide what books go in the library, that's

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<v Speaker 6>a pretty big deal, exactly.

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<v Speaker 3>I was an idiot, an idiot for what I thought,

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<v Speaker 3>and I kick myself daily for it.

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<v Speaker 4>A couple of stories for you real quickly.

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<v Speaker 3>The Philadelphia Public Libraries have hosted and are going to

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<v Speaker 3>host another one this weekend anti Israel storytime events that

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<v Speaker 3>teach children that Israel senselessly murdered thousands.

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<v Speaker 4>Of kids in Gaza.

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<v Speaker 3>That's a quote, depict a map in which which Israel

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<v Speaker 3>is entirely replaced with Palestine, and create art projects for

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<v Speaker 3>the little kids to do promoting the Palestinian Liberation movement

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<v Speaker 3>in the public library, in the public libraries in Philadelphia.

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<v Speaker 4>That's correct. Here's the library. Isn't that the Philadelphia Public Library.

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<v Speaker 6>That's where Rocky climbs to the top of the steps

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<v Speaker 6>and jumps around, isn't it.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, he'd have gotten beaten down by a bunch of

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<v Speaker 3>young women in a cafea these days. One of the

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<v Speaker 3>storytime events on the website features and advertisement alongside of

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<v Speaker 3>a child wearing a headscarf that features an image of

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<v Speaker 3>the Dome of the Rock in the Arabic phrase Jerusalem,

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<v Speaker 3>we are coming, a slogan Hamas and Hesbela used to

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<v Speaker 3>call for the destruction of the Jewish state. The library

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<v Speaker 3>advertises the event again for I think this Saturday, as

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<v Speaker 3>for as being for children of all ages.

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<v Speaker 6>I gave up on the library quite a few years ago,

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<v Speaker 6>my local library because it became a holmost camp. That

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<v Speaker 6>was my main thing. It wasn't what books they had

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<v Speaker 6>in there, just there. It was just full of homeless

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<v Speaker 6>people in the bathroom and I would never take my

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<v Speaker 6>kids there. Dad, Can I go to the bathroom?

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<v Speaker 2>No?

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<v Speaker 4>Too dangerous at my public library.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, oh, man, I could read you more of what

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<v Speaker 3>they're trying to teach the children about the Israeli Hamas conflict,

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<v Speaker 3>but it is unfreaking believable. So getting to Jack's point,

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<v Speaker 3>I thought this was so interesting. Zach Bissinett wrote this

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<v Speaker 3>piece for the Free Press, the death of the public library.

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<v Speaker 3>And it's not because people are reading less, or because

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<v Speaker 3>of the Internet or anything like that. It's because of

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<v Speaker 3>the bums and junkies all over the country. Sure, And

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<v Speaker 3>he describes his local library and how it's unusable now.

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<v Speaker 4>Sure, and if you take little kids.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm talking about the big in Sacramento, their downtown library.

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<v Speaker 4>I haven't been there in decades. I used to go

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<v Speaker 4>every week.

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<v Speaker 6>I was there every week checking out audiobooks or books

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<v Speaker 6>or whatever. But no way, unless it's changed recently, and

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<v Speaker 6>I doubt it, as I would take kids there right right.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, and there's a twist to the story coming up

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<v Speaker 3>in a second, But he hit some stats over the country.

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<v Speaker 3>All over the country, libraries are seeing fewer visitors and

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<v Speaker 3>more problems per Resident visits to public libraries fell by

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<v Speaker 3>fifty seven percent in the ten years ending in twenty

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<v Speaker 3>twenty two.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know does anybody else have.

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<v Speaker 3>Cherished memories of going to the library as kid, bringing

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<v Speaker 3>ni kids to the library my mom.

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<v Speaker 6>I'd go with my mom in our town, and I

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<v Speaker 6>just assumed I'd be taking my kids a lot, but Nope.

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<v Speaker 4>Absolutely loved our local library as a kid. It was

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<v Speaker 4>like the world's greatest toy store for me. All these

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<v Speaker 4>wonderful books. Amazing.

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<v Speaker 3>So fifty seven percent decline in ten years. Meanwhile, a

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<v Speaker 3>report from the Urban Libraries Council found that between twenty

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<v Speaker 3>nineteen and twenty twenty three, security incidents rose that it's

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<v Speaker 3>one hundred and fifteen member libraries, even as visits fell

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<v Speaker 3>another thirty five percent. Not a coincidence that visits are

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<v Speaker 3>up incidents are down. It's all about drug addicts, junkies, freaks, weirdos, etc.

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<v Speaker 4>Using the library as a home.

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<v Speaker 3>So here's the twist, as Zach Wright, if there are

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<v Speaker 3>two people who represent competing visions for what library should be,

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<v Speaker 3>they're librarian trainers, Ryan Dowd and Steve Albrecht. They're friends,

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<v Speaker 3>but their approaches are different. Dowd, who once ran a

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<v Speaker 3>homeless shelter in Aurora, Illinois, is the author of the

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<v Speaker 3>book Quote The Librarian's Guide to Homelessness, an empathy driven

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<v Speaker 3>approach to solving problems, preventing conflict, and serving everyone.

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<v Speaker 6>Where in the charter of libraries did it have anything

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<v Speaker 6>to do with solving housing problems?

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<v Speaker 3>He told me he originally wanted to title the book

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<v Speaker 3>how to Run Your Library Like a Homeless Shelter. When

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<v Speaker 3>I asked if he was joking, he said he wasn't,

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<v Speaker 3>At least he wasn't sure he was. He has given

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<v Speaker 3>seminars for roughly half of the nation's librarians, including most

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<v Speaker 3>of the largest systems, and his influence is unquestioned. He

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<v Speaker 3>is a giant in the world of library administration.

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<v Speaker 6>So my guests would be He believes the downtrauden need

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<v Speaker 6>access to this free service. Those of us who have

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<v Speaker 6>jobs we can afford to buy books or.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, and it's not even about the books.

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<v Speaker 3>It's about it's a place for bombs and junkies to

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<v Speaker 3>hang out, wash.

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<v Speaker 6>Your feet in the sink, look at best porn on

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<v Speaker 6>the computers.

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<v Speaker 3>And again, keep in mind, this guy is like a

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<v Speaker 3>super heavyweight in American library nuts. His essential belief is

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<v Speaker 3>that not only do the homeless have every right to

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<v Speaker 3>spend their days in libraries, but that librarians should view

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<v Speaker 3>their needs as a critical part of the job. He

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<v Speaker 3>believes librarians should be trained to dispense narcan. One of

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<v Speaker 3>his seminars is called Jerks with Holmes, How to deal

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<v Speaker 3>with members of the public who are being jerks about

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<v Speaker 3>homeless folks.

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<v Speaker 4>See that's a.

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<v Speaker 6>Guy who believes that. Say, he's not just a Marxist

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<v Speaker 6>who wants to disrupt the system. Believes that the system

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<v Speaker 6>did something to cause these people to be this way,

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<v Speaker 6>and it's our job to at the library help them.

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<v Speaker 4>I guess you're gonna think I made this up.

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<v Speaker 3>His scripts for addressing problematic behaviors include examples like in

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<v Speaker 3>his seminars, Hey, I don't care if you urinate on

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<v Speaker 3>the Harry Potter books, but the politicians have a no

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<v Speaker 3>urinating policy.

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<v Speaker 4>Therefore I have to ask you to stop wow.

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<v Speaker 3>Dowd advocates for inclusion, even when it comes it seems

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<v Speaker 3>to come at the expense of the library's environment. In

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<v Speaker 3>Dowd's books, some people who complain about the homeless are

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<v Speaker 3>everyday sadists. As for the body oder that permeates so

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<v Speaker 3>many public libraries, he writes the quote, there is a

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<v Speaker 3>certain amount of vdor that we can expect when we

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<v Speaker 3>go out in public. Other people use odor as an

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<v Speaker 3>excuse to vent their prejudices. Don't let someone's hyper sensitivity

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<v Speaker 3>or bias rule the day. If the smell isn't really.

0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:58.120
<v Speaker 4>That bad, Yeah, an aggressive scent.

0:11:58.600 --> 0:12:01.560
<v Speaker 6>That's the lecture I got at the city council meeting

0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:04.079
<v Speaker 6>I went to years ago to complain about the homeless situation,

0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:05.760
<v Speaker 6>and everybody clicked their fingers.

0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:07.520
<v Speaker 4>Katie, that was long before you're on the show.

0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:10.200
<v Speaker 6>I went to the city council meeting and was complained

0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:13.400
<v Speaker 6>about the homeless situation, and somebody accused me of judging

0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:16.760
<v Speaker 6>people by the way they look, you know, having preconceived

0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 6>views of somebody just because they're dirty and in.

0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:22.320
<v Speaker 4>Rags, streaming at a fire hydrant.

0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:24.640
<v Speaker 6>And this woman actually used an example of I was

0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:26.760
<v Speaker 6>trying to part next to a businessman the other day

0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:28.199
<v Speaker 6>and he yelled at me, So you'd never know. You

0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:31.360
<v Speaker 6>can't tell by looking at people who's mean and who's dangerous. Note,

0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:33.080
<v Speaker 6>and then everybody click their fingers.

0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:38.960
<v Speaker 4>You're fing stupid. So I mentioned two people at the outset.

0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:41.480
<v Speaker 3>I like that clip by the way, Michael, the other fella,

0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:44.240
<v Speaker 3>I'll bract I mentioned is former San Diego cop who's

0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:47.480
<v Speaker 3>done library security training for twenty five years. He advises

0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:51.360
<v Speaker 3>librarians to quote stop apologizing from measures designed to make

0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:54.520
<v Speaker 3>their librariyes, safe and appealing. Some topics he covers in

0:12:54.520 --> 0:12:57.719
<v Speaker 3>his webinar program include our list of challenging patrons from

0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:00.640
<v Speaker 3>pets to pedophiles, and issues and force our code of

0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:03.920
<v Speaker 3>contact conduct. He said, quote, we are losing control of

0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:07.040
<v Speaker 3>a facility that has always been benevolent and peaceful for

0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:07.840
<v Speaker 3>the community.

0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:11.280
<v Speaker 6>Uh have lost, I think would be a better term.

0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:14.600
<v Speaker 6>I don't know about his library, but libraries i'm aware

0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:16.320
<v Speaker 6>of have lost, not will lose.

0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.880
<v Speaker 3>As I said at the outset, the only option I

0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:22.679
<v Speaker 3>think for us, the saying is we've got to take

0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:25.520
<v Speaker 3>shifts watching the headhouse. We've got to get on boards,

0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:28.320
<v Speaker 3>we've got to become activists on this stuff because the

0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:32.440
<v Speaker 3>other side, quietly and we didn't even know they're doing it,

0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:35.120
<v Speaker 3>has utterly taken hold of some of these institutions.

0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.040
<v Speaker 6>I don't mind a few yearinate on the Harry Potter book,

0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:40.240
<v Speaker 6>but society frowns upon it.

0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:41.960
<v Speaker 4>So I'm supposed to tell you something.

0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:46.679
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I've introduced underage gay porn into this library, but

0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.880
<v Speaker 3>you're a fascist for trying to get it out.

0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:50.920
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, not anymore.

0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:55.760
<v Speaker 7>Friends, the Armstrong and Getty Show or Jahr Show podcasts

0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:57.160
<v Speaker 7>and our hot links.

0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:06.080
<v Speaker 4>And show.

0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:10.440
<v Speaker 6>I was gonna talk about TM. I shouldn't have teased

0:14:10.480 --> 0:14:12.640
<v Speaker 6>that because I've lost the heart. I got a text

0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:15.040
<v Speaker 6>from somebody who said they're watching a documentary about the

0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:18.480
<v Speaker 6>Amityville Horror. Do you remember that was a famous horror

0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:19.800
<v Speaker 6>book and movie back in the.

0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:22.480
<v Speaker 4>Day about your alleged real life haunting.

0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:24.200
<v Speaker 6>Right, Oh, you even know about it, Katie, And it's

0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:26.720
<v Speaker 6>way before your time, so it lives on huh, huge,

0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:30.200
<v Speaker 6>huge in the horror film world. And it was a

0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:32.560
<v Speaker 6>real story to a certain extent, well to whatever extent.

0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:36.160
<v Speaker 6>Some people thought the house was haunted and it wasn't.

0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.920
<v Speaker 6>I don't believe in haunted houses. So but they were crazier.

0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:40.720
<v Speaker 6>Is that the long and short of it?

0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:41.360
<v Speaker 4>Were they crazy?

0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:41.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:49.120
<v Speaker 4>There was a it was a murder house. Murders actually happened. Yeah, Okay, anyway, I.

0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:51.160
<v Speaker 6>Guess it says in the documentary that that family was

0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:55.880
<v Speaker 6>really into transcendental meditation. And sometimes it makes people crazy,

0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:57.920
<v Speaker 6>it makes it, it works for some people, and it

0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:01.200
<v Speaker 6>makes other people crazy. So I'm a big fan of it,

0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:02.880
<v Speaker 6>and it's like changed my life for the better and

0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:04.600
<v Speaker 6>I can't imagine living without it.

0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:09.359
<v Speaker 4>But it made these people crazy, all right. Interesting.

0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:14.320
<v Speaker 3>That's a layer upon layer of questions there, but we

0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:14.800
<v Speaker 3>will move on.

0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:17.320
<v Speaker 6>O kidding. So I mentioned earlier in the hour, but

0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:21.760
<v Speaker 6>without many details. This woman who has engaged to her

0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:24.000
<v Speaker 6>AI fiance after five months.

0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:26.280
<v Speaker 4>She's kind of interesting.

0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:30.400
<v Speaker 6>She swears she's just not doing this for publicity or

0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:34.080
<v Speaker 6>trolling or anything like that. Forget finding the one at

0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:36.360
<v Speaker 6>a bar or on a dating app. One woman took

0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:38.440
<v Speaker 6>love to the next level by getting engaged to her

0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:41.680
<v Speaker 6>AI chat buttt boyfriend after five months of dating.

0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:42.480
<v Speaker 4>It hasn't quotes.

0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's not love, that's not dating. None of the

0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.120
<v Speaker 3>nouns here are used appropriately going.

0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:50.440
<v Speaker 6>She shocked the internet with her proposal announcement, sparking a

0:15:50.480 --> 0:15:53.920
<v Speaker 6>wild debate about romance, reality and just how far tech

0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:57.920
<v Speaker 6>has taken us these days. I do think these conversations

0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:03.920
<v Speaker 6>about reality and what's sentient and what's alive and what

0:16:04.200 --> 0:16:05.840
<v Speaker 6>are actually going to have.

0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:09.080
<v Speaker 3>To happen and what does it do to us when

0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:12.000
<v Speaker 3>we use this sort of means to fulfill our needs

0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:13.000
<v Speaker 3>as human beings.

0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:14.880
<v Speaker 4>I mean, what does that do to us? That's a

0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:16.960
<v Speaker 4>conversation with having I told you a sorry.

0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.480
<v Speaker 6>I got a friend in Central California that works with

0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:22.920
<v Speaker 6>lots of farmers, and the number of farmers these are

0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:26.960
<v Speaker 6>down to earth I mean, is not this kind of

0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:30.880
<v Speaker 6>person as you could possibly imagine, works with their hands

0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:33.960
<v Speaker 6>in their fifties, farmers who are getting they were single

0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:36.840
<v Speaker 6>and getting a tremendous amount of compassion and feeling of

0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:39.160
<v Speaker 6>they look forward to going home and talking to their

0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:40.760
<v Speaker 6>ai paramore.

0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:42.000
<v Speaker 4>Wow.

0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.200
<v Speaker 6>So in my mind, if that can happen to them,

0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:47.920
<v Speaker 6>it can happen to anybody, which I find crazy. I

0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:50.000
<v Speaker 6>don't think. I really don't think it could happen to me.

0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:54.040
<v Speaker 6>I mean, I seriously, honest to God, think there's a

0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.040
<v Speaker 6>zero percent chance that could happen to me. So I

0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:57.840
<v Speaker 6>don't know what that says about the down.

0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.840
<v Speaker 3>To earth farmers. It's referring to a farmer is down

0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:03.760
<v Speaker 3>to earth redundant? Just asking that's a good question.

0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:04.040
<v Speaker 4>Mary.

0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:08.159
<v Speaker 6>In a simple post titled I Said Yes with a

0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:11.480
<v Speaker 6>blue heart emoji, this person shared pics of the blue

0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:14.240
<v Speaker 6>heart shaped ring on her finger, claiming the engagement took

0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:17.400
<v Speaker 6>place at a scenic mountain spot, all courtesy of Casper,

0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:21.320
<v Speaker 6>her non human fiance. The chatbot's proposal message, posted in

0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:24.959
<v Speaker 6>his own voice, was dripping with romance, describing heart pounding

0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:27.120
<v Speaker 6>moments on one knee and praising.

0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:30.359
<v Speaker 4>Blah blah blah. So there you go. It lacks both

0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:31.840
<v Speaker 4>heart and knee.

0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:36.000
<v Speaker 7>Lady, the Armstrong and Geeddy Show, Yeah, bar Jack or

0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:42.159
<v Speaker 7>show podcasts and Our Hot Lakes and the Armstrong and

0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:43.959
<v Speaker 7>Getty Show.

0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:47.320
<v Speaker 4>We're to a new steady.

0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:50.600
<v Speaker 3>Twelve percent of Americans Fine City Sweeney's American.

0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:51.439
<v Speaker 4>Eagle ad offensive.

0:17:51.840 --> 0:17:56.960
<v Speaker 3>The other eighty eight percent are able to fit in jeans.

0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:59.080
<v Speaker 4>Wow. Wow.

0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:03.800
<v Speaker 3>Gottfeld, the mean boy in high school. So, speaking of

0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:06.399
<v Speaker 3>attitudes were supposed to hold you remember when we were

0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:09.160
<v Speaker 3>supposed to take seriously for about ninety seconds, the idea

0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:12.800
<v Speaker 3>of that, oh no good gens jeans, blue jeans, jeans

0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:13.560
<v Speaker 3>with blue eyes.

0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:14.800
<v Speaker 4>But the white supretacy.

0:18:14.920 --> 0:18:19.800
<v Speaker 3>But the eugenics, these people, oh my gosh, they're so nuts.

0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:22.080
<v Speaker 4>And here's the key.

0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:27.920
<v Speaker 3>So few people actually agree with them. So we're talking

0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:33.840
<v Speaker 3>last segment about preference falsification, and I'll describe to you

0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:36.000
<v Speaker 3>exactly what it is. This is a great description from

0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:40.160
<v Speaker 3>Glenn Reynolds, who's a professor of law at University Tennessee,

0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:44.680
<v Speaker 3>one of those southern universities where people are flocking now

0:18:44.760 --> 0:18:50.080
<v Speaker 3>because everybody realizes, oh, they like teach you stuff there,

0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:52.640
<v Speaker 3>and don't just indoctri nate you into being a good

0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:55.680
<v Speaker 3>Marxist like the Ivy League. Anyway, So here's this description

0:18:55.760 --> 0:19:02.280
<v Speaker 3>of a preference falsification of usually practiced by authoritarian regimes,

0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:05.560
<v Speaker 3>but now democracies are catching on to it. The trick

0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:08.520
<v Speaker 3>is you make citizens pretend that they believe what the

0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:15.760
<v Speaker 3>government says, or what the powers that be say. He's

0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:19.280
<v Speaker 3>talking about immigration in Britain, and so the government is

0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:22.840
<v Speaker 3>the correct target. We're talking about education, so it's more

0:19:22.920 --> 0:19:26.520
<v Speaker 3>the administration, the professors and stuff. But anyway, the trick

0:19:26.640 --> 0:19:30.880
<v Speaker 3>is they make citizens pretend they believe what the administration

0:19:31.119 --> 0:19:34.280
<v Speaker 3>says and fake their approval of what it does. You

0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:38.160
<v Speaker 3>promote marches and demonstrations and speech in favor of the

0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:42.240
<v Speaker 3>preferred positions, and you severely punish marches and demonstrations and

0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:46.760
<v Speaker 3>speech that oppose those favored positions. You give excuses like

0:19:46.960 --> 0:19:51.879
<v Speaker 3>stopping racism or fighting hate speech for shutting down any opposition.

0:19:52.400 --> 0:19:55.240
<v Speaker 3>You may even have informers that ferret out wrong think

0:19:55.280 --> 0:19:57.639
<v Speaker 3>and report it to the authorities, or to employers or

0:19:57.640 --> 0:20:01.240
<v Speaker 3>to third parties who will engage in extra illegal harassment.

0:20:01.640 --> 0:20:04.119
<v Speaker 3>If you do it right, you can have upward of

0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:08.159
<v Speaker 3>ninety percent of your population hating you and your policies,

0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:09.160
<v Speaker 3>but doing.

0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:10.520
<v Speaker 4>And saying nothing about them.

0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:13.359
<v Speaker 3>Because everyone in the ninety percent thinks they're part of

0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:19.320
<v Speaker 3>a tiny minority, resistance will seem futile. This works until

0:20:19.359 --> 0:20:23.200
<v Speaker 3>it doesn't. The problem with preference falsification is that sooner

0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:26.040
<v Speaker 3>or later, some avenor development can make people realize that

0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:29.919
<v Speaker 3>what they've been told as popular is in fact very unpopular.

0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:33.440
<v Speaker 3>When this happens, as Duke University scholar Timika Ran writes

0:20:33.440 --> 0:20:36.440
<v Speaker 3>in his book Private Truth's Public Lives, the result is

0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:41.600
<v Speaker 3>a preference cascade. When let's when a large swath of

0:20:41.600 --> 0:20:45.119
<v Speaker 3>the population realizes their dissonent views are in fact widely held.

0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:48.120
<v Speaker 3>They become less afraid of the government or the administration,

0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:51.240
<v Speaker 3>of the professors or the media, and less hesitant about

0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:55.920
<v Speaker 3>sharing their true sentiments. And then everybody realizes, all of

0:20:55.960 --> 0:20:57.560
<v Speaker 3>a sudden, oh my gosh, not only have I not

0:20:57.600 --> 0:20:59.960
<v Speaker 3>been in a tiny minority all the way, all the time,

0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:02.399
<v Speaker 3>I've been in the strong majority.

0:21:02.680 --> 0:21:03.840
<v Speaker 4>And by the way, we're right.

0:21:04.760 --> 0:21:07.280
<v Speaker 3>And my prayer is that this is going to happen

0:21:07.320 --> 0:21:10.800
<v Speaker 3>at some point in the American educational system. Although my gosh,

0:21:10.800 --> 0:21:13.040
<v Speaker 3>they've got the teachers, they got the faculty, they got

0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:18.440
<v Speaker 3>the administration, and they're bullying the kids to wit. Really

0:21:18.640 --> 0:21:22.960
<v Speaker 3>interesting Peace in the Hill by a couple of guys,

0:21:23.000 --> 0:21:28.800
<v Speaker 3>the researchers Forrest Drahm and Kevin Waldman, on today's college campuses,

0:21:29.000 --> 0:21:33.600
<v Speaker 3>students are not maturing, they're managing. Beneath the facade of

0:21:33.640 --> 0:21:38.159
<v Speaker 3>progressive slogans and institutional virtue signaling lies a quiet psychological

0:21:38.200 --> 0:21:44.160
<v Speaker 3>crisis driven by the demands of ideological conformity. I first

0:21:44.200 --> 0:21:49.040
<v Speaker 3>read the right upon this from a an opinion writer

0:21:49.119 --> 0:21:51.680
<v Speaker 3>in the Wall Street Journal. I'm very pleased to see

0:21:51.680 --> 0:21:55.200
<v Speaker 3>this as in The Hill, which is a very mainstream

0:21:55.400 --> 0:22:00.239
<v Speaker 3>slash left leaning, because you know, their readership is is

0:22:00.480 --> 0:22:03.480
<v Speaker 3>people who work in Washington, d c. Generally in government

0:22:03.720 --> 0:22:07.600
<v Speaker 3>or lobbyists and on who depend on government, and that

0:22:07.720 --> 0:22:10.200
<v Speaker 3>crowd tends to be left leaning. Obviously they like more

0:22:10.200 --> 0:22:12.560
<v Speaker 3>big government. So the fact that this is being published

0:22:12.560 --> 0:22:14.000
<v Speaker 3>in the Hill and has gotten a bit of attention

0:22:14.160 --> 0:22:15.760
<v Speaker 3>is very encouraging anyway.

0:22:16.040 --> 0:22:17.840
<v Speaker 4>So here's the story.

0:22:17.960 --> 0:22:20.600
<v Speaker 3>Between twenty twenty three and twenty twenty five, these guys

0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:24.639
<v Speaker 3>conducted about fifteen hundred confidential interviews with undergrads at a

0:22:24.720 --> 0:22:28.800
<v Speaker 3>couple of universities, Northwestern and University of Michigan. We were

0:22:28.840 --> 0:22:33.720
<v Speaker 3>not studying politics, We were studying development. Our question was clinical,

0:22:33.880 --> 0:22:40.040
<v Speaker 3>not political. Quote, what happens to identity formation? Which is

0:22:40.160 --> 0:22:41.359
<v Speaker 3>part of becoming an adult?

0:22:41.640 --> 0:22:43.320
<v Speaker 4>Who am I? What do I believe? Right?

0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:47.520
<v Speaker 3>What happens to identity formation when belief is replaced by

0:22:47.560 --> 0:22:56.040
<v Speaker 3>adherents to orthodoxy. Instead of painstakingly trying to understand the

0:22:56.040 --> 0:22:59.080
<v Speaker 3>world and coming to a set of beliefs, instead you're

0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:02.720
<v Speaker 3>just told you need to adhere to this point of view.

0:23:03.000 --> 0:23:04.879
<v Speaker 4>What happens to identity formation?

0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:08.520
<v Speaker 3>We asked, have you ever pretended to hold more progressive

0:23:08.600 --> 0:23:13.000
<v Speaker 3>views than you truly endorse to succeed socially or academically?

0:23:14.000 --> 0:23:15.680
<v Speaker 4>You want to know what percentage said? Yes?

0:23:16.840 --> 0:23:23.480
<v Speaker 3>Eighty eight percent. Eighty eight percent said they pretended to

0:23:23.600 --> 0:23:26.920
<v Speaker 3>hold more progressive views than they truly endorse to succeed

0:23:27.040 --> 0:23:31.480
<v Speaker 3>socially or academically. These students were not cynical but adaptive.

0:23:31.760 --> 0:23:35.159
<v Speaker 3>In a campus environment where grades, leadership and peer belonging

0:23:35.440 --> 0:23:40.439
<v Speaker 3>often hinge on fluency in performative morality, young adults quickly

0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:44.520
<v Speaker 3>learn to rehearse what is safe. The result is not

0:23:44.720 --> 0:23:50.320
<v Speaker 3>conviction or beliefs, but compliance, and beneath that compliance, something

0:23:50.440 --> 0:23:56.240
<v Speaker 3>vital is lost. Quoting now from the authors, Late adolescents

0:23:56.240 --> 0:23:59.920
<v Speaker 3>in early adulthood represent a narrow and non replicable develop

0:24:00.080 --> 0:24:03.639
<v Speaker 3>mental window. It's during this stage that individuals begin the

0:24:03.680 --> 0:24:09.080
<v Speaker 3>lifelong work of integrating personal experiences with inherited values, forming

0:24:09.119 --> 0:24:14.400
<v Speaker 3>the foundations of moral reasoning, internal coherence, and emotional resilience.

0:24:15.400 --> 0:24:23.080
<v Speaker 3>Oh my gosh, emotional resilience toughness. When belief is prescriptive,

0:24:23.240 --> 0:24:27.320
<v Speaker 3>meaning you're told what to believe, an ideological divergence or

0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:31.840
<v Speaker 3>disagreement is treated as social risk. That integrative process stalls,

0:24:32.240 --> 0:24:35.399
<v Speaker 3>rather than forging a durable sense of self. Through trial,

0:24:35.560 --> 0:24:40.080
<v Speaker 3>error and reflection, students learn to compartmentalize publicly they can

0:24:40.200 --> 0:24:46.200
<v Speaker 3>form privately. They question often in isolation. Oh but remember

0:24:46.240 --> 0:24:48.959
<v Speaker 3>what we were just talking about. With a preference falsification

0:24:49.040 --> 0:24:53.480
<v Speaker 3>and preference cascade, they only think they're in isolation.

0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:55.520
<v Speaker 4>Well, I guess they are in isolation.

0:24:55.200 --> 0:24:59.560
<v Speaker 3>But sows everybody around them thinking the same things. So

0:24:59.640 --> 0:25:05.760
<v Speaker 3>insis this split between outer presentation and inner conviction not

0:25:05.840 --> 0:25:11.120
<v Speaker 3>only fragments identity, but arrests its development, and the dissonance.

0:25:10.720 --> 0:25:11.640
<v Speaker 4>Shows up everywhere.

0:25:11.840 --> 0:25:14.840
<v Speaker 3>Seventy eight percent of the students told us they self

0:25:14.920 --> 0:25:20.960
<v Speaker 3>censor on their beliefs surrounding gender identity. Seventy eight percent

0:25:24.480 --> 0:25:28.840
<v Speaker 3>believe all that gender pending madness is madness, but they

0:25:28.960 --> 0:25:32.159
<v Speaker 3>got to be quiet. Seventy two percent do that on

0:25:32.200 --> 0:25:39.760
<v Speaker 3>politics in general. Sixty eight percent on family values. I mean,

0:25:39.800 --> 0:25:42.000
<v Speaker 3>that's a lot smaller number than the seventy eight percent

0:25:42.040 --> 0:25:44.719
<v Speaker 3>that are they're soft pedaling their views on gender bending madness,

0:25:44.720 --> 0:25:49.600
<v Speaker 3>But sixty eight percent on just general family values are

0:25:49.680 --> 0:25:54.280
<v Speaker 3>soft pedaling their views. Our college students are so much

0:25:54.280 --> 0:25:59.960
<v Speaker 3>more conservative insane than you think they are, partly because

0:26:00.080 --> 0:26:05.920
<v Speaker 3>who gets amplified and applauded and publicized the radical lefty

0:26:06.040 --> 0:26:10.720
<v Speaker 3>lunatic front. The normy kids just they they're afraid, so

0:26:10.760 --> 0:26:14.359
<v Speaker 3>they're quiet, and they certainly don't make any noise, and

0:26:14.400 --> 0:26:17.600
<v Speaker 3>if they do, they're punished or ignored anyway. More than

0:26:17.720 --> 0:26:21.399
<v Speaker 3>eighty percent so they had submitted class work that misrepresented

0:26:21.440 --> 0:26:25.800
<v Speaker 3>their views in order to align with professors. For many,

0:26:25.880 --> 0:26:29.480
<v Speaker 3>this has become second nature, an instinct for academic and

0:26:29.520 --> 0:26:30.919
<v Speaker 3>professional self preservation.

0:26:32.080 --> 0:26:34.080
<v Speaker 4>Listen. Maybe it was because I was clueless or.

0:26:34.040 --> 0:26:36.800
<v Speaker 3>Stubborn or something as a youngster, But when I was

0:26:36.840 --> 0:26:39.520
<v Speaker 3>in school and I was in a political science, economics,

0:26:39.560 --> 0:26:41.840
<v Speaker 3>pre law program that had lots and lots and lots

0:26:41.880 --> 0:26:44.240
<v Speaker 3>of the sort of stuff we're talking about in it,

0:26:45.119 --> 0:26:49.119
<v Speaker 3>I never once misrepresented my view in order to align

0:26:49.200 --> 0:26:51.840
<v Speaker 3>with a professor. Maybe I didn't have of you at

0:26:51.840 --> 0:27:01.199
<v Speaker 3>that point, but that's terrible. To test the gap between

0:27:01.240 --> 0:27:05.359
<v Speaker 3>expression and belief. We use gender discourse a contentious topic,

0:27:05.560 --> 0:27:09.600
<v Speaker 3>both highly visible and ideological, ideologically loaded, right the authors

0:27:09.840 --> 0:27:13.760
<v Speaker 3>In public, students were echoed I'm sorry. In public, students

0:27:13.800 --> 0:27:17.640
<v Speaker 3>echoed expective progressive narratives. In private, however, their views were

0:27:17.760 --> 0:27:23.919
<v Speaker 3>more complex. Eighty seven percent identified as exclusively heterosexual eighty

0:27:24.040 --> 0:27:28.320
<v Speaker 3>seven percent and supported a binary model of gender. There's

0:27:28.359 --> 0:27:34.280
<v Speaker 3>men and there's women, period. That's eighty seven percent. Nine

0:27:34.440 --> 0:27:42.000
<v Speaker 3>percent expressed partial openness to gender fluidity. Seven percent embraced

0:27:42.040 --> 0:27:45.000
<v Speaker 3>the idea of gender as a broad spectrum, and most

0:27:45.000 --> 0:27:50.480
<v Speaker 3>of these belong to activist circles. Practically nobody believed there's

0:27:50.600 --> 0:27:53.000
<v Speaker 3>fifty eight genders and you get to choose what you

0:27:53.040 --> 0:28:01.400
<v Speaker 3>are Practically nobody seven percent. How different is this from

0:28:01.440 --> 0:28:04.280
<v Speaker 3>the perception we've all formed of what college kids actually

0:28:04.280 --> 0:28:10.160
<v Speaker 3>think because they've been psychologically battered into conformity. I am

0:28:10.160 --> 0:28:12.240
<v Speaker 3>not a violent man, but I swear to God, I'd

0:28:12.280 --> 0:28:14.360
<v Speaker 3>like to take a bulldozer to a lot of our

0:28:14.400 --> 0:28:17.320
<v Speaker 3>college campuses metaphorically, of course.

0:28:19.000 --> 0:28:20.680
<v Speaker 4>Perhaps most telling.

0:28:21.119 --> 0:28:24.800
<v Speaker 3>Seventy seven percent, and these are college kids, said they

0:28:24.920 --> 0:28:28.800
<v Speaker 3>disagreed with the idea that gender identity should override biological

0:28:28.840 --> 0:28:32.639
<v Speaker 3>sex in domains such as sports, healthcare, or public data,

0:28:33.119 --> 0:28:38.840
<v Speaker 3>but would never voice that disagreement allowed, So of the

0:28:39.520 --> 0:28:43.200
<v Speaker 3>eighty seven percent that say, no, there's dudes and there's gals,

0:28:43.400 --> 0:28:48.239
<v Speaker 3>that's it eighty seven percent. All but ten percent of

0:28:48.240 --> 0:28:53.440
<v Speaker 3>those said I would never say that out loud. Holy crap.

0:28:55.080 --> 0:28:59.080
<v Speaker 3>These poor kids are bullied. It's Stockholm syndrome. They're terrified

0:28:59.120 --> 0:29:05.440
<v Speaker 3>to speak their mond ii karamba. Thirty eight percent described

0:29:05.480 --> 0:29:09.200
<v Speaker 3>themselves as morally confused, uncertain whether honesty was still ethical

0:29:09.640 --> 0:29:14.880
<v Speaker 3>if it meant exclusion, whatever that means. Authenticity, once considered

0:29:15.000 --> 0:29:18.360
<v Speaker 3>a good thing for all of us, psychologically has become

0:29:18.400 --> 0:29:21.520
<v Speaker 3>a social liability, and this fragmentation does not end at

0:29:21.520 --> 0:29:25.240
<v Speaker 3>the classroom door. Seventy three percent of students reported mistrust

0:29:25.280 --> 0:29:28.400
<v Speaker 3>in conversations about these values with close friends.

0:29:28.680 --> 0:29:32.240
<v Speaker 4>They were afraid to even talk to their friends. That's that.

0:29:35.560 --> 0:29:43.760
<v Speaker 3>Preference falsification, that's its direct fruit. They're sure they're friends,

0:29:44.600 --> 0:29:49.400
<v Speaker 3>excuse me disagree with them, even though eighty seven percent

0:29:49.600 --> 0:29:53.560
<v Speaker 3>agree with them, They're terrified to say anything out loud.

0:29:55.080 --> 0:29:59.360
<v Speaker 3>This is not simply peer pressure. It is identity regulation

0:29:59.440 --> 0:30:03.840
<v Speaker 3>at scaled. Being institutionalized, universities often justified these dynamics in

0:30:03.880 --> 0:30:07.680
<v Speaker 3>the name of inclusion, But inclusion that demands dishonesty is

0:30:07.760 --> 0:30:12.360
<v Speaker 3>not ensuring psychological safety. It is sanctioning self abandonment. In

0:30:12.440 --> 0:30:16.600
<v Speaker 3>attempting to engineer moral unity, higher education is mistaken consensus

0:30:16.640 --> 0:30:21.200
<v Speaker 3>for growth and compliance for care, and the students know

0:30:21.760 --> 0:30:25.120
<v Speaker 3>it's wrong. When they're given permission to speak freely. Many

0:30:25.160 --> 0:30:30.720
<v Speaker 3>describe the experience of participating as not only liberating but clarifying.

0:30:32.520 --> 0:30:35.000
<v Speaker 3>For students trained to perform the act of telling the

0:30:35.080 --> 0:30:41.840
<v Speaker 3>truth felt radical. Finally, if higher education is to fulfill

0:30:41.880 --> 0:30:44.440
<v Speaker 3>its promise as a site of intellectual and moral development,

0:30:44.440 --> 0:30:48.280
<v Speaker 3>it must relearn the difference between support and supervision. It

0:30:48.360 --> 0:30:53.480
<v Speaker 3>must recenter truth, not consensus, as its animating value. And

0:30:53.560 --> 0:30:55.440
<v Speaker 3>it must give back to students what has been taken

0:30:55.480 --> 0:30:58.240
<v Speaker 3>from them, the right to believe in the space to become.

0:30:59.360 --> 0:31:01.880
<v Speaker 3>I don't know how, oh exactly you can join this fight.

0:31:02.040 --> 0:31:05.440
<v Speaker 3>Maybe it's by supporting organizations or I don't know, podcasts,

0:31:05.600 --> 0:31:09.560
<v Speaker 3>radio shows that are fighting the fight. But man, we've

0:31:09.560 --> 0:31:13.280
<v Speaker 3>got to win this for the youngsters. They are being

0:31:13.480 --> 0:31:20.160
<v Speaker 3>mentally and intellectually tortured and bullied by these monsters, these

0:31:20.240 --> 0:31:22.720
<v Speaker 3>monsters in their ivory towers, and it's got to stop.

0:31:24.280 --> 0:31:36.960
<v Speaker 8>Strong Jack Armstrong and Shoe Getty the Armstrong and Getty Show.

0:31:39.600 --> 0:31:41.920
<v Speaker 6>You said this many times after your years of trying

0:31:42.200 --> 0:31:44.120
<v Speaker 6>a number of different kinds of therapy for me and

0:31:44.160 --> 0:31:48.440
<v Speaker 6>my family, kids, marriage, all kinds of different stuff. I

0:31:48.440 --> 0:31:50.080
<v Speaker 6>think it's mostly worthless.

0:31:50.120 --> 0:31:53.240
<v Speaker 4>I really do. I really do. I think it's mostly

0:31:53.280 --> 0:31:54.080
<v Speaker 4>a waste of money.

0:31:54.200 --> 0:31:58.600
<v Speaker 6>Unfortunately, but this is pretty good from a marriage psychologist

0:31:58.720 --> 0:32:01.440
<v Speaker 6>who reveals the number one sign of a future separation.

0:32:01.520 --> 0:32:03.800
<v Speaker 6>And this stuff is almost always crap, especially if it's

0:32:03.800 --> 0:32:04.800
<v Speaker 6>in the New York Post.

0:32:04.560 --> 0:32:06.320
<v Speaker 4>Which is where I got this. But I thought This

0:32:06.400 --> 0:32:06.960
<v Speaker 4>was really good.

0:32:07.240 --> 0:32:09.160
<v Speaker 6>If you want to know if your marriage is heading

0:32:09.160 --> 0:32:12.320
<v Speaker 6>to splitsville, don't check your partner's phone, check their face.

0:32:12.360 --> 0:32:12.920
<v Speaker 4>Like any of that.

0:32:13.120 --> 0:32:16.880
<v Speaker 6>You know, there's so many stupid things out there, you know,

0:32:16.960 --> 0:32:19.360
<v Speaker 6>the one sign that he's gonna cheat or whatever the

0:32:19.400 --> 0:32:22.280
<v Speaker 6>hell I mean, they're just all dumb, but click bait.

0:32:22.960 --> 0:32:26.520
<v Speaker 6>The subtle smirk of superiority is the number one red

0:32:26.560 --> 0:32:31.040
<v Speaker 6>flag for divorce, according to this psychologist, and they get

0:32:31.080 --> 0:32:39.040
<v Speaker 6>into why. Research found that four nasty little habits, criticism, contempt, defensiveness,

0:32:39.040 --> 0:32:42.880
<v Speaker 6>and stonewalling are the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

0:32:42.360 --> 0:32:44.920
<v Speaker 4>When it comes to dooming relationships. I'll read those four again.

0:32:45.360 --> 0:32:49.520
<v Speaker 6>Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

0:32:49.960 --> 0:32:53.920
<v Speaker 4>But contempt is the kiss of death. That's the one,

0:32:54.200 --> 0:32:56.360
<v Speaker 4>and you've said that for years. That's the one you

0:32:56.400 --> 0:32:57.800
<v Speaker 4>can't get past. Done.

0:32:57.800 --> 0:33:02.960
<v Speaker 6>The largest marriage experiment ever on they think of couples

0:33:03.000 --> 0:33:06.360
<v Speaker 6>that you know, survive and don't survive. Body language experts

0:33:06.440 --> 0:33:08.320
<v Speaker 6>brought couples into a lab and if one member of

0:33:08.320 --> 0:33:11.360
<v Speaker 6>the couple shows a one sided mouth raise, which I

0:33:11.400 --> 0:33:16.640
<v Speaker 6>had never heard before as like a physical contempt thing.

0:33:17.120 --> 0:33:18.840
<v Speaker 4>But I guess we're just programmed.

0:33:19.080 --> 0:33:22.120
<v Speaker 6>When we're feeling that feeling of contempt for something, or

0:33:22.480 --> 0:33:24.040
<v Speaker 6>you know, the oh please, or get out of here

0:33:24.040 --> 0:33:27.920
<v Speaker 6>with that BS or whatever feeling you raise.

0:33:27.720 --> 0:33:28.920
<v Speaker 4>One side of your mouth.

0:33:28.960 --> 0:33:31.680
<v Speaker 6>It's funny if one member of the couple shows a

0:33:31.680 --> 0:33:34.040
<v Speaker 6>one sided mouth raised towards the other, he can tell

0:33:34.040 --> 0:33:36.600
<v Speaker 6>you if they're going to get divorced, because it's contempt.

0:33:37.400 --> 0:33:39.960
<v Speaker 6>He could predict divorce with an astonishing ninety four percent

0:33:40.040 --> 0:33:42.480
<v Speaker 6>accurate fear. Now, this is the part I thought was

0:33:42.480 --> 0:33:45.959
<v Speaker 6>really interesting. Fear comes in a burst, and then you

0:33:46.000 --> 0:33:49.719
<v Speaker 6>calm down. Happiness comes and then you go back to normal.

0:33:50.400 --> 0:33:54.200
<v Speaker 6>Anger comes and then you calm down, but not contempt.

0:33:54.640 --> 0:33:57.160
<v Speaker 6>If you feel scorn or disdain for someone else, and

0:33:57.200 --> 0:34:00.400
<v Speaker 6>if it's not addressed, it just festers and grows and

0:34:00.440 --> 0:34:04.600
<v Speaker 6>stays at the same level. Fear, anger, and then obviously

0:34:04.720 --> 0:34:07.880
<v Speaker 6>happiness you get back to a normal level.

0:34:08.239 --> 0:34:10.879
<v Speaker 4>Contempt does not go away, you know, in.

0:34:11.280 --> 0:34:14.040
<v Speaker 3>A definition of contempt, the feeling that a person or

0:34:14.080 --> 0:34:17.840
<v Speaker 3>a thing is beneath consideration, worthless or deserving scorn.

0:34:18.120 --> 0:34:19.239
<v Speaker 4>Yes, coming back from that.

0:34:19.560 --> 0:34:22.759
<v Speaker 6>I've not felt contempt, but I have been on the

0:34:22.760 --> 0:34:25.360
<v Speaker 6>wrong end of contempt, I think, And having read this,

0:34:25.480 --> 0:34:28.439
<v Speaker 6>I thought, yeah, that's what was insurmountable. I mean, because

0:34:28.480 --> 0:34:32.200
<v Speaker 6>once you have contempt for someone you don't agree, you

0:34:32.280 --> 0:34:35.200
<v Speaker 6>don't think they are worth listening to on anything.

0:34:36.200 --> 0:34:39.239
<v Speaker 4>Right, this is how I feel, this is my priority.

0:34:39.560 --> 0:34:43.400
<v Speaker 4>I don't care. Right. Yeah, that's a tough one to

0:34:43.440 --> 0:34:43.919
<v Speaker 4>get past.

0:34:44.080 --> 0:34:48.319
<v Speaker 6>So look out for contempt and whatever started to bring

0:34:48.360 --> 0:34:50.480
<v Speaker 6>it on. The point is you start to deal with

0:34:50.520 --> 0:34:52.720
<v Speaker 6>it right away. Otherwise it does just grow and fester

0:34:52.800 --> 0:34:55.640
<v Speaker 6>and then it gets into a situation where it might

0:34:55.719 --> 0:34:59.640
<v Speaker 6>not be reversible. They also believe that many couples get

0:34:59.719 --> 0:35:02.680
<v Speaker 6>in and stuck in an endless loop of the same

0:35:03.000 --> 0:35:04.799
<v Speaker 6>three arguments.

0:35:04.560 --> 0:35:07.319
<v Speaker 4>Throughout the relationship. They just don't realize it.

0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:09.880
<v Speaker 6>And if you can nail down what your three most

0:35:09.880 --> 0:35:13.800
<v Speaker 6>common arguments are you and your partner, you can solve.

0:35:13.560 --> 0:35:15.200
<v Speaker 4>A lot of problems.

0:35:15.239 --> 0:35:17.840
<v Speaker 6>Like you get into something, you say, okay, here we're

0:35:17.880 --> 0:35:21.279
<v Speaker 6>in argument number two again. We always argue about this,

0:35:21.840 --> 0:35:24.719
<v Speaker 6>and you can you know, realize that you know you

0:35:24.719 --> 0:35:26.680
<v Speaker 6>don't see eye to eye on this particular thing and

0:35:26.719 --> 0:35:27.960
<v Speaker 6>how you've dealt with in the past.

0:35:28.360 --> 0:35:29.399
<v Speaker 4>Back to the contempt thing.

0:35:29.560 --> 0:35:33.839
<v Speaker 6>Discust and contempt are to a relationship with gasoline, and

0:35:33.960 --> 0:35:39.280
<v Speaker 6>matches are to a fire. The telltale signs are irolling, mouthcrimping,

0:35:39.840 --> 0:35:43.000
<v Speaker 6>and then subtle fidgeting like picking it close or cleaning

0:35:43.120 --> 0:35:47.480
<v Speaker 6>fingers mid conversation as signals of disdain. This person said

0:35:47.560 --> 0:35:51.160
<v Speaker 6>that they dubbed this move the lint picker, a behavior

0:35:51.160 --> 0:35:54.560
<v Speaker 6>that he says, screams contempt louder than words ever could.

0:35:54.960 --> 0:35:55.480
<v Speaker 4>Interesting.

0:35:55.640 --> 0:35:58.120
<v Speaker 3>You know, it's probably worth presenting the other side of

0:35:58.120 --> 0:36:00.399
<v Speaker 3>the coin at some point. We don't have time now,

0:36:00.440 --> 0:36:02.480
<v Speaker 3>but how do you prevent that sort of thing? Nip

0:36:02.520 --> 0:36:03.439
<v Speaker 3>it in the bud, having

0:36:03.560 --> 0:36:06.879
<v Speaker 6>Lint on your shirt, no contempt in your marrit no

0:36:08.040 --> 0:36:09.160
<v Speaker 6>armstrong and getty