1 00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:04,320 Speaker 1: All right, it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: and if you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,719 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey 4 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: FM dot com by clicking on Submit Strawberry Letter. We 5 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:18,439 Speaker 1: could be reading your letter live on the air, live now, 6 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,280 Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're gonna read this one 7 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,279 Speaker 1: right here, right now, and never know. It could be 8 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: yours could be you never know. Buckle up and hold 9 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,640 Speaker 1: on tight. We guided foil you here. It is the 10 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter subject he Can't out cheat Me. Dear Stephen Shirley, 11 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I are forty four years old and 12 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:38,199 Speaker 1: we have been together for years. I lost count on 13 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: how long we've actually been a couple because we were 14 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: roommates first, then we started fooling around. Then we stopped 15 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: seeing other people since we were living together, we became 16 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: a couple after our family and friends considered us a couple. 17 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: I started playing the role of wifey and made sure 18 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: everything was taken care of in the house. Little did 19 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 1: I know he was telling people that we were roommates 20 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: and we hadn't had sex and months. That's when my 21 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 1: attitude changed and I asked him to move out. He 22 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,479 Speaker 1: denied ever saying that, and I knew he was lying. 23 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,680 Speaker 1: I started seeing one of my old boyfriends and started 24 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: to stay at his house. Sometimes, my roommate would stay 25 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,559 Speaker 1: away all weekend and come home and sleep all day. 26 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: On Sunday, I saw his email and text messages and 27 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: he was telling women how much he enjoyed them sexually. 28 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: I decided to turn up the heat on him and 29 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: beat him at his own game. I slept with his 30 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: boss at our house and I sent him a picture 31 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 1: of us. His boss didn't care about being messy because 32 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,919 Speaker 1: he knew my roommate was a big time cheater. My boyfriend, 33 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: who said he's just my roommate, came home and we 34 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: got into a really bad argument, and he admitted to 35 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: cheating on me for years. I told him he can't 36 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: out cheat me, and I told him about my ex boyfriend. 37 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: In addition to his boss, those two people that I 38 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: slept with were far worse than any women he ever 39 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: mess with. He knows how I feel about my ex. 40 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: He cried and begged me to stop cheating and swore 41 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: he'd stopped cheating too. I'm glad he realized what he'd lose, 42 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: but it's too late or is it? Is there a 43 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:21,359 Speaker 1: way to stay together and fix this mess? Okay, let's 44 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: see about that first. I'm gonna say it's not you know, 45 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: it's not normal what we do as women. This is 46 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: not normally what we do as women. We don't make 47 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: it into a competition or a game of who can 48 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 1: cheat on who the most, or who can cheat on 49 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: who the best. We don't normally do that because while 50 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: women may take a man back, you know, we might 51 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: more women take men back after they cheat than men 52 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,079 Speaker 1: take women back. Okay, those numbers are pretty low for 53 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 1: men taking women back after they knowingly been cheated on. Okay, 54 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 1: but you did it, and you told your man, You 55 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,919 Speaker 1: even bragged about it, you know, you being the better 56 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: or cheater and who you cheat it with. Now you 57 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: want to know, is there any hope for you too? Well, 58 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: let me just say this again. I believe it's never 59 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,639 Speaker 1: too late for anything. But really that's up to you guys. 60 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 1: You guys, only you guys can answer that question, because 61 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: fixing it is going to involve the TE word, and 62 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,520 Speaker 1: the T word is trust in this situation, and it 63 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,080 Speaker 1: all boils down to trust. I mean, after all that's 64 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: gone on between the both of you, can you trust 65 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: that it won't happen again? He asked you not to cheat, 66 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 1: He said he wasn't going to cheat. Well, can you 67 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 1: guys hold to that? That's the question. You have to 68 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: rebuild that trust. If you two really want that, you 69 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: got to start working on your relationship. And you guys 70 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: got to start from scratch, because there was never any 71 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 1: respect or any trust, it seems from you guys to 72 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: begin with. You have to do what you can. You 73 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: got to make each other feel secure. If you want 74 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,119 Speaker 1: to make this thing work. You know, it's just how 75 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: much are you guys willing to do. You might want 76 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: to go to counseling. I mean that's going to help 77 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: if you guys are to go. And it also means 78 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 1: no sexting with other females, no guys, definitely no seeing 79 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 1: other people. So again, if you buck guys both want it, 80 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 1: and you say you do. Since he stopped crying and 81 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: begging and stuff, you gotta do the work because right now, 82 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: this raggedy relationship of yours is hanging on by a thread. Steve, 83 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: this letter right here is shocking. He can't out cheat me. 84 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,279 Speaker 1: Then after she writes this whole letter. Here's the line 85 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: that they've given to me and Shirley. Here's the mandate. 86 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: Is there a way to stay together and fix this mess? 87 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,480 Speaker 1: After all? She wrote, here's the question for me and Shirley. 88 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 1: Is there a way to stay together and fix this mess? 89 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: Shirley has an approach to it, a very logical approach. 90 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 1: I don't feel like being logical today. Here's an answer 91 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:58,839 Speaker 1: to your question, is there a way to stay together 92 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: and fix this mess? The answer is hell? Now this 93 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: is over? You know, you know, I used to spend 94 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,919 Speaker 1: a lot of time really trying to help people, but 95 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: I've discovered that a lot of people write me in 96 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: Sherley with some helpless situations. It's nothing we could do. Yeah, 97 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,360 Speaker 1: you shouldn't have took this to the Lord. We ain't 98 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 1: got the qualification the Lord. Because what am I supposed 99 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: to do with this? Hell? Because okay, let me tell 100 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 1: you what I read when I read the letter? Did 101 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 1: Steven Sherley my boyfriend and I forty four years old 102 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: and we have been together for years? Okay, y'all ain't married, 103 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: and y'all boyfriend and girlfriend at forty four, y'all too 104 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: old for this. Here's the key to this letter. I 105 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 1: lost count of how long we've actually been a couple 106 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: because we were roommates first, then we started fooling around. 107 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: Then we stopped seeing other people. Since we were living together, 108 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,839 Speaker 1: we became a couple. Out of our family friends considered 109 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: us a couple. What what? What? All I can say 110 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: is listen to me. When a woman says she don't 111 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: know how long we've actually been a couple. Let me 112 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:18,040 Speaker 1: tell you something. When you lose count or when you 113 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: stop the count, it's because it don't count. Listen to 114 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:28,720 Speaker 1: me again. If you lose the account of something or 115 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 1: you stop the count, it's because it don't count. Everybody 116 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 1: in this room know how long they've been with their partner. Everybody, 117 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 1: Hang on, Steve, whatever we got part two of your 118 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. 119 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letters, subject he can't out cheat Me. We'll 120 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:56,840 Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening, all right, 121 00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, Let's get back into today's Strawberry Let 122 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 1: let's recap the subject is he can't out cheat me? 123 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 1: So very quickly. Here's my recap. I just add went 124 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 1: to the bottom of the letter, and after she wrote 125 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 1: all this, she said it's their way to stay together 126 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: and fix this mess. My answer is hell, now, just 127 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: hell now. This is a done daughter. I can't help. 128 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: This is a not fixable. I'll tell you why. My 129 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: boyfriend and I are forty four years old. We've been 130 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: together for years. Who forty folk steal boyfriend girlfriend? I 131 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:34,120 Speaker 1: told y'all this stops after college. You stop having boyfriend's 132 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: girlfriends at the college after forty you gotta call it 133 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: something else boyfriend girlfriend. Y'all too old for this. I 134 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 1: lost count of how long we've actually been a couple 135 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: because we were roommates first, then we started fooling around. 136 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: Now let me first of all, let me help you 137 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 1: with a woman loses count in their relationship. You lose 138 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: count because it don't count. This is very true. Now 139 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: listen to this mess right here. I lost count of 140 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 1: how long we've actually been together because we were roommates first. 141 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 1: Then we started fooling around. Then we stopped seeing other 142 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 1: people since we were living together, we became a couple 143 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: after our family and friends considered us a couple. I 144 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: started playing the role of wife and made sure everything 145 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 1: was taken care of in the house. Little did I 146 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,320 Speaker 1: know he was telling people that we were roommates and 147 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: we hadn't had sex, and Moss, did you hear what 148 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 1: I just read? They are only a couple because some 149 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 1: people told them they was a couple. They had to 150 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 1: stop seeing other people because they were both living together. 151 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,839 Speaker 1: Then she started playing the role of wife. But then 152 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,679 Speaker 1: a little did she know he was telling people there 153 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 1: was roommates and hadn't had sex and most she said, 154 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: that's when my attitude changed. Really well, this is gonna 155 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,839 Speaker 1: be interesting, because what y'all in right now is a 156 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: complete mess with attitude you had. But then your attitude changed. 157 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,079 Speaker 1: I asked him to move out. He did not ever 158 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: saying that, and I knew he was lying. So guess 159 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 1: what she did. I started seeing one of my old 160 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:14,679 Speaker 1: boyfriends and started to stay at his house sometimes. What 161 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 1: what did you just say? But then my roommate would 162 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: stay away all weekend and come home and sleep all 163 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: day on Sunday. This is the dude that she lives 164 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,599 Speaker 1: with the supposed to be a couple. I saw his 165 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 1: emails in text and he was telling women how much 166 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:37,960 Speaker 1: he enjoyed them sexual. Then after she read these texts. 167 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,439 Speaker 1: She decided to turn up the heat on him and 168 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 1: beat him at his own game. She said, I slept 169 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: with his boss at our house and sent him a 170 00:09:52,200 --> 00:10:01,559 Speaker 1: picture of us. What this letter is straight zy, This 171 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: is sheer madness. This is nuts. His boss didn't care 172 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: about being messy because he knew my roommate was a 173 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 1: big time cheat up. My boyfriend, who said he's just 174 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,559 Speaker 1: my roommate, came home. We got into a really bad argument. 175 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: He admitted to cheating on me for years. I told 176 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: him he came out cheat me. I told him about 177 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: my ex boyfriend. In addition to the boss, which she 178 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 1: sent pictures to. Now is somebody else she doing too? 179 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:40,800 Speaker 1: Her ex boyfriend? Those two people that I slept with 180 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 1: were far worse than any women he ever messed with, 181 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 1: because he knows how I feel about my ex. This 182 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: is sheer craziness. Man, You sleeping with people, He's sleeping 183 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 1: with people, your boss. You're sitting in pictures, you discovering 184 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,960 Speaker 1: email else, y'all live together, y'all a couple, y'all ain't 185 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 1: a couple. Y'all still boyfriend girlfriend after all these years? 186 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:11,079 Speaker 1: You the lost count y'all foughty folk after all this 187 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: he created and cried and begged me to stop cheating. 188 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: It's what he stopped cheating too. I'm glad he realized 189 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 1: what he lose, but it's too late. He ain't lost 190 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:26,760 Speaker 1: nothing for you, glad he realized what he lose. What 191 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:31,439 Speaker 1: has he lost? You're passing yourself around like ladies at 192 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 1: what back tator chips? Or is it? Is there a 193 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: way to stay together and fix this message? This whole 194 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: letter is filled with say what lady? You fix this? Man? 195 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:49,200 Speaker 1: Why y'all together? Y'all don't be long together? You? Neither 196 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,839 Speaker 1: one of you have any idea And in all of this, 197 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,559 Speaker 1: in all of this, neither one of you said you 198 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,319 Speaker 1: were in love with each other. Neither one of y'all. 199 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:01,839 Speaker 1: Neither one of y'all said you can't live without it, 200 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: Neither one of you said you were hurt by the 201 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:09,559 Speaker 1: other one cheating. This is a why y'all need to 202 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: break up, go your separate way, start over. Y'all have nothing. 203 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 1: This is this is nothing bad man, This, this could 204 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:26,559 Speaker 1: be close to its gotten on your nerves. This is 205 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,719 Speaker 1: one of the worst letters man. I mean, what was 206 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:32,719 Speaker 1: he crying and doing? All the crying and begging for pH. No, 207 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 1: that's all that is. You don't cry and cut off women. Huh, 208 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:48,439 Speaker 1: you don't cry and cut off women. You tried to 209 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: keep this one woman from cutting you off. U. Then 210 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,439 Speaker 1: once she do, you ain't. It ain't even make you 211 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: take out all the emails and stuff he got in 212 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 1: his phone. All yeah, it's got a lot of stuff 213 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 1: in there. All right, thank you. Steve. Hit us up 214 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Steve Harvey Fm to comment on today's 215 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. You can also check out the Strawberry Letter 216 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 1: podcast on demand now. Coming up next it is Junior 217 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:16,079 Speaker 1: and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the 218 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 1: Stave Harvey Morning Show.