1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Before we start an interview with Sarah, we just wanted 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: to let you guys know to warn you that the 3 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:10,399 Speaker 1: subject matter discussed will be a sensitive in nature, some 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: of it pertaining to child loss and infertility. 5 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 2: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,239 Speaker 2: with iHeartRadio. 7 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 3: One of our favorite guests, somebody that comes back not 8 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 3: enough but often, one of our favorite people who has 9 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 3: some very excited things going on in her life. Sarah Haron. Hello, 10 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,240 Speaker 3: and welcome back to the Almost Famous Podcast. 11 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 4: Hi guys, I know illo love catching up with you. 12 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:40,920 Speaker 1: Thanks for having me, Sarah, you have had a year 13 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 1: that no one should ever have. I'm just so so 14 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:50,200 Speaker 1: sorry for everything you've gone through. I've been followed every 15 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,279 Speaker 1: into story that you've ever posted in the past life 16 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: seven months. I have watched you are literally like the 17 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: strongest person I could ever imagine. And I know that 18 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: last I mean, just for anybody who's listening, who does 19 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 1: it now? You lost your baby at about twenty weeks 20 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:10,679 Speaker 1: and I'm so sorry. I just I don't even want to, like, 21 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: I know, I don't I don't think. I don't even 22 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:13,759 Speaker 1: want to go there. 23 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 4: You know it's okay, I mean, it does just mean 24 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,400 Speaker 4: so much to talk to you, Ashley, because you have 25 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 4: been so sweet and so kind through the whole the 26 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 4: whole experience. I'm sorry, I'm very emotional. Apparently they hit 27 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 4: nine am on a Monday morning, But yeah, I do 28 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 4: just want to express my gratitude to you, Ashley, because no, 29 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 4: you have like you've checked in, You've stayed in touch, 30 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 4: and that's really all that someone needs when they go 31 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,720 Speaker 4: through this, you know, it's just to know that people 32 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 4: are thinking of them. 33 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 1: And oh my gosh, I'm always thinking about you. So 34 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: I like, how willing are you to talk about Oliver 35 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: right now? 36 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 4: Oh, I'm mean, I love talking about Oliver and I'm 37 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 4: happy to to share my story. You know, I haven't 38 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 4: really had the chance to really talk about it too much. 39 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 4: I've only really like publicly talked about our lost journey 40 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 4: once so far, and I didn't even realize, like when 41 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 4: I was doing I was like, oh, this is the 42 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 4: first time I've really kind of, you know, publicly talked 43 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 4: about it. And it's it's cathartic. And I also think 44 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 4: it's a perspective of pregnancy and loss that many women 45 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 4: unfortunately go through and feel very isolated. And so I mean, truly. 46 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 4: I say it's the same way I've always been. I'm 47 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 4: an open book and I just hope that like by 48 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 4: talking about Oliver, I can spread his legacy and you know, 49 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 4: and just help anyone else who hears like that they're 50 00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 4: they're not alone. And and unfortunately, like this happens more 51 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 4: than we talk about. And yeah, I just want I 52 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 4: want women to know that they're not alone. Welleah, Sorry, 53 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 4: I don't know, I'm like coming in super emotionally charged. 54 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,400 Speaker 1: No, we love it and like you seriously, just you 55 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 1: and Dylan getting through this together. Yeah, ess is a 56 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: testament to how strong your relationship is. Yeah, because you 57 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:30,040 Speaker 1: hear about how baby loss it just a lot of 58 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: the times drives the parents apart, and it seems to 59 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 1: have bonded you guys. And now you just got married 60 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 1: in the Grand Canyon a few weeks ago. It was 61 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: a beautiful ceremony. It was so Sarah Herron. I could 62 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 1: not imagine you to have a more you ceremony. And 63 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: I mean that in like the most beautiful way. 64 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:52,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, totally, I know, And you're absolutely right, you know. 65 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 3: It's it's interesting as I as I obviously have followed 66 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 3: your story as well, Sarah, you know, you said something 67 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 3: a second ago that sat with me for a second, 68 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,839 Speaker 3: took me back. You know, this is your year has 69 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 3: been emotional in so many different ways. It seems like 70 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 3: from an outside perspective that has great loss and some 71 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 3: great joys and some you know, it just it feels 72 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 3: like it has been, you know, a very hard year, 73 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 3: because sometimes those two things combined make it a very 74 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 3: difficult year when you're celebrating but you're also grieving. But 75 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 3: you said something that said, you know, you haven't talked 76 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:34,359 Speaker 3: about it publicly only maybe once and then on your socials, 77 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 3: you know, because I guess you can answer to why 78 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 3: maybe you haven't talked about it publicly, maybe you haven't 79 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 3: been given the platform or been asked the right questions. 80 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 3: But within that then you said that so many this 81 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 3: isn't uncommon. Other people go through it, and as a result, 82 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 3: when they go through it, they feel incredibly alone, isolated. 83 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 3: And so if you can speak to that, if you 84 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 3: don't mind for or a second of that kind of 85 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 3: starting with you know, the start of this year and 86 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,599 Speaker 3: that experience and what you want to tell to other 87 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 3: people who are going through this, and then we can 88 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 3: move on, maybe at the end to something that is 89 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 3: a joy filled ceremony, something to celebrate. 90 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, totally, And I mean, Ben, you're you're absolutely right, Like, 91 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 4: how do you how do you summarize a year that 92 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 4: has brought some of the best joys of my life 93 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 4: and some of the hardest walks. I mean, it's the 94 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 4: year that I got pregnant, and it's the year that 95 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 4: I got to experience pregnancy and I ultimately did deliver 96 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:42,480 Speaker 4: my son. Like, those are beautiful things, and then that 97 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 4: you're they're also laced with loss, and so it is 98 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 4: the grief of that and navigating the grief of amazing 99 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:55,839 Speaker 4: experiences laced with grief is just it's the hardest walk 100 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 4: that any parent will have to go through. And to 101 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 4: answer your question, I mean, I really haven't spoken. I've 102 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 4: written a ton about my loss, and actually writing about 103 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 4: loss has been extremely helpful and cathartic and at times 104 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 4: it just like flows out of me and I'm like, 105 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 4: I don't know who wrote that, but writing has been 106 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 4: a great outlet. But as far as like speaking or 107 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:24,080 Speaker 4: giving interviews, I just haven't really had the opportunity. I think, 108 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 4: you know, out of respect and just bereavement, you know, 109 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 4: no one came forward wanting to have me on the 110 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 4: podcast or anything like that until recently, and I can 111 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 4: completely understand why. So that's what I meant by you 112 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 4: know that I hadn't really talked about it publicly. I 113 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,839 Speaker 4: hadn't really like used my own voice live to talk 114 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:51,039 Speaker 4: about my experience. But through everything, and prior to even 115 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 4: becoming pregnant with all of our I was in this 116 00:06:56,320 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 4: club of infertility, and anyone who has gone through fertility 117 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:06,479 Speaker 4: challenges knows that there's this kind of like untrademarked saying 118 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 4: that it is the worst club with the best members. 119 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 4: And I think, truly, like going through our loss, the 120 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 4: only thing that really helped Dylan and I both survive 121 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:23,880 Speaker 4: and get through it was community and connecting with other 122 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,679 Speaker 4: women who have gone through this, other parents, other dads. 123 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 4: There are so many great organizations out there that we 124 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 4: have been put in touch with to help us just 125 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 4: get through some of the hardest hurdles of this. And 126 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:42,640 Speaker 4: then you know, we worked with a grief counselor as well. 127 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 4: And so I think, you know what I would love 128 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 4: to convey to anyone listening who has experienced pregnancy loss 129 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 4: or infant loss or I don't know if if you 130 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 4: come back and listen to this podcast, if you experience 131 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 4: it someday, is just that there are women who've gone 132 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 4: through it who know how to walk this road, and 133 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 4: you do not have to do it alone. I think 134 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 4: infertility alone, we're still kind of destigmatizing infertility and we're 135 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 4: still breaking down some of the shame around infertility, pregnancy, loss, miscarriage. 136 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 4: But as we continue to move that needle forward and 137 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 4: pull back the curtain on it, there's so much there's 138 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 4: just so much connection and resources that can be shared 139 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 4: between people. And like I said, it's just I've been 140 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 4: connected to thousands of women now who are like I've 141 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 4: been in your shoes. It might seem hard to believe 142 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 4: right now, but joy does come back. It does not 143 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 4: get easier, but it gets different and you'll regain strength. 144 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 4: The most important part is to stay connected to your partner, 145 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 4: seek support, get grief counseling if you have the means to, 146 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,320 Speaker 4: and I think, just like keep an open line of 147 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,839 Speaker 4: communication with your family and support team. 148 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,080 Speaker 1: Sarah, one thing that I don't know that you've broached 149 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 1: on your social media is what exactly happened because you 150 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: delivered oliver it wasn't a miscarriage. He was twenty weeks. 151 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 4: He was, so he was twenty four weeks when I 152 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 4: was four weeks. Yeah, twenty four and five days, so 153 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 4: almost twenty five weeks. But he just you know, actually, 154 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 4: I think that is kind of an area I'm not 155 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 4: quite ready to talk about. Yeah, of course, but yeah, 156 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 4: it was just unexpected and I was able to deliver 157 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 4: him and he was He was alive for about twenty 158 00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:01,439 Speaker 4: minutes with us, which was amazing, and we didn't expect 159 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:05,960 Speaker 4: him to survive birth, but we did have twenty minutes 160 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 4: with him and we both got to have skin to 161 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,840 Speaker 4: skin contact with him, and you know, he was just 162 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 4: right at that like viability cusp and unfortunately just didn't 163 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 4: didn't his little heart couldn't couldn't survive it. 164 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 3: So yeah, there's a there's a few elements I would 165 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 3: love to touch on here. One would be, if you're 166 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 3: comfortable with it, and please only answer things you're comfortable with. 167 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 3: What were those twenty minutes like? And then you obviously 168 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 3: said earlier you want to spread his legacy and share 169 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,719 Speaker 3: Oliver's legacy, so obviously that twenty minutes had a huge 170 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 3: impact on the two of you, So what did you take? 171 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 3: What are you taking from that? 172 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,439 Speaker 4: Well, the twenty minutes spent with him, I mean it 173 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:05,079 Speaker 4: was surreal because my labor was very long, and so 174 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,320 Speaker 4: we were told, you know, because he because of his 175 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:12,680 Speaker 4: gestational age and how long the labor was progressing, that 176 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 4: he could be potentially still born alive or he might 177 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 4: pass during labor, and so we didn't really know what 178 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:27,400 Speaker 4: to expect, but we prepared ourselves for whichever outcome. And so, 179 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,679 Speaker 4: you know, it, just like I said, it was progressing 180 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 4: very slowly. It took a very long time, and so 181 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 4: when he was born, it just takes you, Like I 182 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,960 Speaker 4: just the best way I can describe it is like, 183 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 4: I don't know, I felt kind of euphoric and kind 184 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 4: of in a dream state, and you're I was scared, honestly, 185 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 4: because you kind of get hit with this emotion of 186 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 4: like you didn't know what to expect and now you 187 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 4: have to kind of shift I don't know, just your perception. 188 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 4: And so so immediately the nurses just like odd at 189 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,440 Speaker 4: him like he was such a perfect little angel, and 190 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:11,199 Speaker 4: immediately was his so long and looked a lot like Dylan, 191 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,440 Speaker 4: and they were just like, would you like you know, 192 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 4: would you like to hold him skin to skin? And 193 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 4: I said, of course, And they put him on my 194 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 4: chest and he was so tiny and just making all 195 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 4: the little baby noises that they do. And then I 196 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,679 Speaker 4: my instinct was just like, I want Dylan to hold him, 197 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 4: like we don't know how long we have. I want 198 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 4: Dylan to hold him now. And so he went to 199 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 4: Dylan's chest, skin to skin, and he, you know, quietly 200 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 4: just stopped breathing while Dylan was holding him. And we 201 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:49,040 Speaker 4: found a lot of like comfort and strength and knowing 202 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,960 Speaker 4: that he got to be held by his mother and 203 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 4: experienced the unconditional love of his mother, and then he 204 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,720 Speaker 4: got to be held by his father and experience the 205 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 4: ultimate form of protection and safety from his father, and 206 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 4: kind of just a symbol that it was okay, he 207 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:09,079 Speaker 4: didn't need to be afraid, and that we were there 208 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:12,640 Speaker 4: to carry him through that journey for his little spirit. 209 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 4: So it was a dream state for sure, and it 210 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 4: went by in the blink of an eye. And and 211 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 4: I just the nurses in that room were I can't 212 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,960 Speaker 4: describe them any other way besides just angels. I mean, 213 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:32,680 Speaker 4: they were so loving and doting on him and us, 214 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 4: and it was remarkable. 215 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,680 Speaker 3: There is the second element that I wanted to touch 216 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:51,440 Speaker 3: on though, was obviously we're going to move in here 217 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:56,240 Speaker 3: to your recent wedding, and that's a very exciting time. 218 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 3: It's kind of it's kind of the emotion that we 219 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:02,679 Speaker 3: talked about the goods and the hearts and the moments 220 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 3: of life that are very probably confusing out imagining to 221 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 3: try to walk through. But you and Dylan stayed connected 222 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 3: through this, and as Ashley mentioned, it is not unknown 223 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 3: that these really hard situations can oftentimes pull couples apart, 224 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 3: but you guys stay connected and leading up to a 225 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 3: wedding for myself who's married, for Ashley, who is married, 226 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,479 Speaker 3: for you who's married, for listeners who are in relationships, 227 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 3: what are some of the things that you could teach 228 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 3: us about that season of life on what why you 229 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 3: stay connected, Why you grew stronger, Maybe you didn't grow stronger, 230 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 3: and maybe that's something you need to be honest about. 231 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 3: I don't know, but like, just walk us through that season. 232 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, of course. 233 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 2: So when. 234 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 4: We I don't remember exactly who made their recommendation, but 235 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 4: they were like, I highly recommend you seek a grief 236 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 4: specific counselor because I've been in therapy weekly for the 237 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,840 Speaker 4: last four years. Obviously, we continued that Dylan and I 238 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 4: both got in to see my therapist, but someone said 239 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,120 Speaker 4: to work with a grief specific counselor would be really 240 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 4: helpful because they can help parents couples navigate loss. Because ultimately, 241 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 4: what I learned is men and women experience grief very differently. 242 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 4: I mean, I think both you, Ashley and Ben can 243 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 4: probably attest to this, that grief has just handled differently. 244 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 4: Men have sometimes a better ability to compartmentalize or get 245 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 4: busy and kind of move on a little bit faster, 246 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 4: whereas the birth mother or the gestational mother it takes 247 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:51,080 Speaker 4: so much longer. I mean, you had a baby that 248 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 4: you no longer have. There's the physical component, there's the 249 00:15:53,880 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 4: emotional component. And so yes, couples going through in loss, 250 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 4: child loss, or any any type of grief or loss 251 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:08,120 Speaker 4: run a risk of it either making or breaking the 252 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 4: relationship or certainly putting an insurmountable amount of strain on 253 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 4: the relationship. And so for Dylan and I it has 254 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 4: brought us closer, and you know, it's it's unfortunate that 255 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 4: we had to have this experience that made us so connected, 256 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 4: but It really taught us our communication styles, It taught 257 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 4: us how we grieve, how to respect each other's grief 258 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 4: and mourning processes, and it just reinforced that, like we're 259 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 4: in this together. So yeah, I don't know. It's like 260 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 4: I think, to go back to Oliver's legacy, like, I 261 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:56,840 Speaker 4: truly believe his soul had big, big purpose, and even 262 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 4: though his life was so short, I think he had 263 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,200 Speaker 4: a job. And part of that job might have been 264 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 4: to connect Dylan and I deeper. It might have been 265 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 4: to walk this path so that we can know how 266 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 4: to help others. You know, I think Oliver continues to 267 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:19,960 Speaker 4: teach us things that we benefit from every single day. 268 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,879 Speaker 4: And I mean it's a horrible lesson of course that 269 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:27,399 Speaker 4: no one wishes. But yeah, I've just I try to 270 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 4: see what Oliver has taught me through all of this. 271 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: So you guys were engaged before you conceived Oliver. Yes, 272 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:39,159 Speaker 1: what were the wedding plans before this year? Were you 273 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 1: planning on having a full wedding or was it always 274 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,919 Speaker 1: sort of an envelopement idea. 275 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:49,119 Speaker 4: The timeline to our wedding and just our whole relationship 276 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:54,080 Speaker 4: has been a little untraditional because we got engaged and 277 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 4: then started IVF immediately because it was during COVID, like 278 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 4: we realized we really wanted to have kids, but we 279 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 4: weren't married yet and we had started trying to conceive 280 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:06,560 Speaker 4: naturally and it wasn't working. So we got started doing 281 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,160 Speaker 4: IVF like literally the same time that we got engaged. 282 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,399 Speaker 4: And then because I was going through treatments and then 283 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 4: I got pregnant, I was always like, I don't want 284 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,720 Speaker 4: to plan a big wedding because I don't know what's 285 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,439 Speaker 4: gonna happen. I don't I don't know if we're going 286 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 4: to have a wedding in Mexico, and then I won't 287 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 4: be able to go because I'm pregnant whatever, right, So 288 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 4: everything just kind of kept getting postponed. And then after 289 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 4: losing Oliver, we were kind of like, I don't know 290 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:40,400 Speaker 4: your your perspectives and certainly your like appreciation for things change, 291 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 4: and so a priority of like having a big wedding 292 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 4: just wasn't important to us anymore. We wanted to have 293 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 4: a commitment ceremony, We wanted to have our closest friends 294 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:55,679 Speaker 4: and family there, but like, I couldn't get motivated to 295 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:58,239 Speaker 4: plan a wedding. I couldn't get inspired. I would look 296 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,560 Speaker 4: at wedding dresses and I wasn't even into anything, and 297 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:03,160 Speaker 4: so we were like, you know what, maybe we should 298 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 4: just elope. And then about three months ago we got 299 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 4: invited on this trip. Well it was we want to 300 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,360 Speaker 4: permit to host a trip down the Grand Canyon, and 301 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 4: we were like, maybe this could be a cool adventure 302 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 4: elopement style. 303 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:19,160 Speaker 1: Wedding. 304 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,560 Speaker 4: I can just buy like a cheapy dress online and 305 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,040 Speaker 4: like a veil on Amazon, and we'll just say some 306 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,920 Speaker 4: vows and that'll be it. Like it'll be epic and 307 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,160 Speaker 4: low budget and we don't have to worry about trying 308 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 4: to get family in town or like, you know, just 309 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,399 Speaker 4: all the logistics of it. And so we came up 310 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 4: with that plan literally like two weeks before, and I 311 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 4: called my parents and I was like, would you be 312 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:46,920 Speaker 4: sad if we do this and you're not there? And 313 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,359 Speaker 4: my mom was just like, oh no, do it, just 314 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,480 Speaker 4: go I think you need to do it. Just do it. 315 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,879 Speaker 4: And it all turned out like magically, it was like 316 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:55,880 Speaker 4: so perfectly us. 317 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 3: Well, so the wedding ceremony was at mile seventy five 318 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 3: Colorado River. Yeah, was that just random? Or is that 319 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,239 Speaker 3: a spot that has meaning to you. 320 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,919 Speaker 4: No, So okay, when you're when you go on a 321 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,680 Speaker 4: rafting trip down the Grand Canyon, it's two hundred and 322 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,199 Speaker 4: twenty five miles and you have to complete that in 323 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 4: about sixteen days. So before going into the trip, your 324 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,280 Speaker 4: raft guides or whoever's you know, leading the trip, we'll 325 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 4: have to kind of assess that we need to do 326 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,720 Speaker 4: twenty miles a day, fifteen miles a day, whatever, and 327 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 4: you map out your days. So we knew we're going 328 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,399 Speaker 4: to be camping at this particular beautiful camp with epic 329 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 4: views and ledges that we could you know, like it 330 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 4: would be perfect, and it's not so far into the 331 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,160 Speaker 4: trip that something might happen. We might get bad weather, 332 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 4: like all the variables that could have you know, swayed 333 00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:50,399 Speaker 4: us away from actually going through with it. So we 334 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,160 Speaker 4: just decided day of We're like, we're at this campsite, 335 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,160 Speaker 4: it's beautiful, we don't know what lies ahead of us, 336 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 4: bad weather could come, let's just do it. And it 337 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 4: was just totally spontaneous, so like I had never seen 338 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,320 Speaker 4: a photo of the campsite or anything. We just decided 339 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 4: to pull the trigger. 340 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 3: So I've done some rafting trips in my life. You 341 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,399 Speaker 3: just said you were guiding a trip. I'm assuming you 342 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,600 Speaker 3: had other participants with you, right, yeah, just the two 343 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,720 Speaker 3: of you. What were I mean most of the time 344 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 3: you're strangers. When you walk down to the river together 345 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 3: and the jumble these boats, what were they thinking when 346 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,399 Speaker 3: you were like, Hey, we're getting married today. 347 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:34,080 Speaker 4: Yeah. So this was our river permit, which means we 348 00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 4: invited sixteen of our best river friends, and so we 349 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 4: knew everyone, but we didn't They didn't know what we 350 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,240 Speaker 4: were planning to do until the trip, and we were like, hey, 351 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:49,119 Speaker 4: we think we're going to get or not engaged. We 352 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 4: think we're going to Elope if we find a good camp. 353 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 4: And then that just, you know, made everyone else so 354 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 4: excited that it just elevated the energy and we're like, okay, 355 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,879 Speaker 4: So we were all kind of scared outing for the 356 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 4: first four days, like this would be a good camp, 357 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:07,199 Speaker 4: this would be a great ledge or lookover, and everyone 358 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,160 Speaker 4: was super supportive. 359 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 1: Sarah, I see your dog behind you, and I know 360 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 1: we're backtracking conversation a little bit, but I can't help 361 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,560 Speaker 1: to ask if you could tell everybody what he has 362 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 1: been for you as a comfort over the past seven 363 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 1: eight months. 364 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 4: Yea, yes, yes, Rio, my love, my witness He's like 365 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 4: my soulmate, I swear Rio. Yeah, I don't know. They 366 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 4: say when you go through grief, like you just need 367 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 4: to have your grief witnessed. It means like someone who 368 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,280 Speaker 4: isn't going to try to point out the silver linings 369 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,400 Speaker 4: of it, someone who isn't going to try to minimize 370 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,160 Speaker 4: it or make it something that it isn't, but someone 371 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 4: to just sit with you in the pain and witness 372 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 4: the magnitude of your suffering. And I think that was 373 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 4: my dog because he sat with me every single day, 374 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 4: and you know, obviously leading up when I was pregnant, 375 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 4: he would sit on my lap and sit on my belly. 376 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 4: And when I lost Oliver, he didn't skip a beat. 377 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,720 Speaker 4: And he is attached to my hip and it's probably 378 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,879 Speaker 4: a little bit unhealthy the relationship we have now, but 379 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,720 Speaker 4: he's just he's my everything. I'm obsessed with this dog, 380 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,919 Speaker 4: and so being away from him on the Grand Canyon 381 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,200 Speaker 4: for three weeks was like the hardest thing I've ever done. 382 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, you know, it's funny, just a little tangent. 383 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 3: This morning, in my daily devotional, the title of it 384 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 3: was Mirored Suffering leads to compassion, and I think that's 385 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,719 Speaker 3: exactly what you're speaking about. Yeah, you know, having your 386 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 3: witness and then having people rally around you. As we 387 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 3: kind of close up here, Obviously there is now this 388 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:06,680 Speaker 3: thing that you've entered into marriage, and obviously, as we said, 389 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,200 Speaker 3: this year has been a wild year for you, one 390 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 3: that I can't put words too, but one that you 391 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:16,640 Speaker 3: know obviously has been a year and it feels very 392 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 3: much like life has hit you in the face. So 393 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,280 Speaker 3: as you enter into marriage now with Dylan, is there 394 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 3: anything you're scared of? I was scared entering in the 395 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 3: marriage personally. I was like, I don't know what kind 396 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,239 Speaker 3: of husband I'm going to be. I don't know how 397 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,639 Speaker 3: we're going to get through difficult times. I don't know 398 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 3: how she loads the dishwasher or how I the dishwasher 399 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:42,200 Speaker 3: and what's really gonna piss each other off? But obviously 400 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,320 Speaker 3: your year has been a year, and so now you're married, 401 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 3: entering into this commitment. Is there anything you're nervous about 402 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:49,920 Speaker 3: or how do you feel personally? 403 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 4: Oh, that's a really great question. I obviously know how 404 00:24:55,680 --> 00:25:00,520 Speaker 4: we'll get through difficult times together now, which I think, Yeah, 405 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 4: I mean, anything could happen. But I'm not really afraid 406 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:08,680 Speaker 4: of anything in terms of marriage, Like I have never 407 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 4: felt so good about a life partner. I love Dylan 408 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:17,320 Speaker 4: so much. I know he loves me so much. I 409 00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,240 Speaker 4: think the biggest thing that going through what we've gone 410 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 4: through now is and it's still fresh, right, Like our 411 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:29,680 Speaker 4: loss was only eight months ago, and so this will 412 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,399 Speaker 4: be forever with us probably, But I think it's the 413 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,480 Speaker 4: fear of more loss. It's the fear of losing each other. 414 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 4: And when you go through something like this, it I 415 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 4: actually just shared a video on Instagram this amazing poem 416 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,959 Speaker 4: that was written by a young woman who obviously has 417 00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:51,280 Speaker 4: experienced loss. But it kind of teaches you that everyone 418 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:56,440 Speaker 4: and everything around you is impermanent. And so I think 419 00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:00,200 Speaker 4: that's like just my biggest fear now is this is 420 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:04,479 Speaker 4: this is life is short, and it's impermanent, and just 421 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 4: how to like savor every day together. And so I 422 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 4: think Dylan and I just try to. You know, we're 423 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:13,479 Speaker 4: not big into material things. We're more into experiences and 424 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 4: creating memories together, and I just I just look forward 425 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:23,159 Speaker 4: to like maximizing our life experiences together. But not a 426 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,440 Speaker 4: lot of fear. He already sucks it loading the dishwasher, 427 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 4: so I know that's like past us. 428 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:34,840 Speaker 1: Another thing you're entering in on right now is another 429 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 1: round of IVF. You announced this yesterday on your Instagram 430 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 1: and you said that the first one you kept secret. 431 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 1: Does that mean that you have recently undergone one? 432 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, I went through one. We had an embryo transfer 433 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 4: in June that was not successful. So we did keep 434 00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,440 Speaker 4: that one private because you were like, let's just try 435 00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,639 Speaker 4: and see what it feels like like to keep something 436 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,919 Speaker 4: of our lives private for once. And I'm sure you 437 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,360 Speaker 4: know you guys can relate, like sometimes you just want 438 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,000 Speaker 4: to keep some things closer that don't need to be 439 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:15,560 Speaker 4: shared every inch of the mile, and so we kept 440 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:20,520 Speaker 4: that one private. But again going back to the community component, 441 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 4: it was like I felt then that when the embryo 442 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 4: transfer didn't succeed, it was kind of like, well, you know, 443 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,199 Speaker 4: it really made me realize how much I appreciate the 444 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:36,199 Speaker 4: collective support from people who are coming along on this 445 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:39,160 Speaker 4: journey with me. And I don't know about you, guys, 446 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 4: but I love I love all of my followers and 447 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 4: everyone that engages with me, and I truly feel even 448 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,240 Speaker 4: though we have maybe never met in person, sometimes like 449 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 4: we're in it together. And so going into this embryo transfer, 450 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,439 Speaker 4: I was like, I want to feel the collective support. 451 00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 4: I want, you know, the collective prayers and good energy 452 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,880 Speaker 4: and thoughts, and I want to be able to provide 453 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,480 Speaker 4: that for people too. So for me, I'm like, Okay, 454 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 4: come along, we're going. We're starting this again. And and 455 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:15,000 Speaker 4: I think it just helps keep positivity and morale high, 456 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,199 Speaker 4: you know, which you need when you go through something 457 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 4: like this. 458 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:23,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, there is there's so much that we can learn 459 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,680 Speaker 3: from you, Sarah, so much we can learn from Dylan. 460 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:30,400 Speaker 3: And I'm very thankful that you have given us the time. 461 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,159 Speaker 3: Now here's the commitment that we need you to make. 462 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:36,280 Speaker 3: Though you got to come back, come back soon, and 463 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 3: you got to keep this updated. I know, I mean, 464 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 3: I don't know. I imagine doing this is like a little daunting, 465 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 3: maybe a little very difficult. But we're thankful that you're 466 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 3: using your voice because, as you said, as you speak 467 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 3: openly about it, then other people will feel less alone, 468 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 3: and that's something that's vitally important for us as humans. 469 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 3: So thank you for using your voice for so many. 470 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 3: Of course, hopefully at least one person listening can listen 471 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,680 Speaker 3: to this and be like, hey, I feel less alone, 472 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,280 Speaker 3: and then it's all yeah. 473 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, and Sarah, nobody is rooting for like you are 474 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,920 Speaker 1: the most rootable person right now. Like I love that 475 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: you shared what you're entering into because I truly like 476 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 1: am admitting positive energy towards you. And I know there's 477 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,840 Speaker 1: so many women out there who are thinking about you 478 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 1: through this all, Like we're just rooting for you so hard. 479 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,840 Speaker 1: You're going to be the best mom one day, and 480 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 1: we hope it happens now, but like we have faith 481 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 1: that it'll it'll happen whatever way it's supposed to. 482 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 4: Thanks, guys, And I know. 483 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,000 Speaker 1: You're already a mom. 484 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,080 Speaker 4: You are, Yeah, thank you, Thanks for saying that. And 485 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 4: I just want to say, like I think part of why, 486 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,200 Speaker 4: you know, maybe I just like immediately broke down in 487 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 4: tears at the beginning, is because it's it's also special 488 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 4: to talk to you, you guys, like I know you 489 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 4: both personally and I've known you've known me since before 490 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 4: all of this, and so it's kind of sometimes like 491 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,040 Speaker 4: when you walk into a room and you see someone 492 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,640 Speaker 4: that you haven't seen in a long time, and you 493 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 4: just like get overtaken by this wave of emotions, and 494 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,880 Speaker 4: I felt like safe with you guys, and I know 495 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 4: you truly care and and so yeah, I don't know. 496 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 4: It's like they're happy tears. They're authentic, and it means 497 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,160 Speaker 4: a lot to share with you guys, and to catch 498 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 4: up with you and have you so invested in my life. 499 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 4: I really appreciate it because I love you guys, and 500 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:31,760 Speaker 4: I've invested in your lives. 501 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,479 Speaker 3: Yeah, well you're teaching us a lot, Sarah, you always have, 502 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:38,960 Speaker 3: you know. As we close here, I do want to 503 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 3: just give You've done so much good work in your 504 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 3: life giving people accessibility to adventures and travels and you know, 505 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 3: amazing things. Is that still a piece of your life. 506 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 4: Yes, that's a great question. So there's been a bit 507 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 4: of a pivot. If you're speaking directly about like my 508 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,800 Speaker 4: organization with she Lift that I was running a couple 509 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:09,680 Speaker 4: of years ago, we're not operating anymore. It's actually interesting 510 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:14,080 Speaker 4: because coming off the Grand Canyon, I was very like reinspired, Like, 511 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:18,720 Speaker 4: you know, accessibility in the outdoors is still something that 512 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 4: I want to strive, you know, push for and advocate 513 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 4: for and create experiences for people who might not otherwise 514 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 4: get to experience them. So there's definitely still a pull 515 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,760 Speaker 4: on my heart to create that kind of work for people. 516 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:36,480 Speaker 4: IVF definitely kind of derailed all of that for the 517 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 4: last couple of years, So I would say, I'm like 518 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 4: doing that work from my heart and I'm still advocating 519 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,640 Speaker 4: for people to get out in the outdoors and experience 520 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:51,760 Speaker 4: it's benefits. But as far as having an organization right now. 521 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,240 Speaker 3: Not okay, current, well well yeah, I mean, but you're 522 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,600 Speaker 3: you're always involved in work. I mean that's a big update. 523 00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,080 Speaker 3: Hopefully will be falling up with you on is kind 524 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 3: of how you're being involved. I know this week one 525 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,840 Speaker 3: of my buddies, Brandon I won't say his lastname, evenough 526 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 3: I don't think you'd care. He's paralyzed from the waist down, 527 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 3: and he competed in the CrossFit games, right And if 528 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 3: you want to see something impressive, you see a dude 529 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,680 Speaker 3: hang and do like fifty pull ups with like a 530 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:28,640 Speaker 3: wheelchair tight like that is just amazing. So that work, 531 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,560 Speaker 3: obviously you started it, it's still continuing. It's not like 532 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:35,400 Speaker 3: it just ends for you because now, well, yeah, because 533 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 3: people have gone to the mountains and they've been able 534 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,280 Speaker 3: to ski or they've been able to do these height 535 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 3: you know, do these things that they did with you, 536 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 3: and then maybe that passion has continued within them. So yes, 537 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 3: the organization might have paused or stopped, but the passion doesn't. 538 00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,920 Speaker 3: There's always that ripple. Saren, you are somebody that brings 539 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,000 Speaker 3: a light to this world. We're thankful for you, thank 540 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,959 Speaker 3: you for coming on, thank you for sharing your story. 541 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,280 Speaker 3: Rooting you on as many are we always will be 542 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 3: and uh please come back soon. 543 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:10,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, we love you so much. Signing off. Okay, I've 544 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,200 Speaker 1: been Ashley, I've been been. 545 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,080 Speaker 4: And I'm am Sarah. 546 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,720 Speaker 3: Is that you are? Sarah are works for us? 547 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,680 Speaker 2: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on 548 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,960 Speaker 2: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.