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Speaker 1: Hey, everybody in this episode, will you marry me? And

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Speaker 1: as a follow up to that, will you help me

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Speaker 1: pay for the engagement ring? I just put on your finger.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Amy and TJ and rogues. Tell folks what

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Speaker 1: they probably already know. What is, as we have seen

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Speaker 1: in the surveys we've been watching and reading, the number

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Speaker 1: one cause of fights and disputes in relationships.

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Speaker 2: It is money. Money, money.

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Speaker 1: Now would you one hundred percent agree with that based

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Speaker 1: on your history the past thirty years of relationship?

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I would say that money has in one

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Speaker 2: of my relationships definitely caused a significant amount of problems.

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Speaker 2: And I actually think the money issue is maybe even

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Speaker 2: a symptom of a larger issue where you don't operate

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Speaker 2: the same way you don't maybe you have trust issues,

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Speaker 2: maybe you have different ways of operating through life, and

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Speaker 2: so it might, I think, point to a larger problem

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Speaker 2: just in terms of your compatibility a right.

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Speaker 1: So that's the number one reason for disputes and relationships,

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Speaker 1: And from also the surveys we see when it comes

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Speaker 1: absolutely to divorce, what is one of the leading causes

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Speaker 1: of divorce in this country?

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Speaker 2: Financial stress, money, Yes, And it's listed on every survey

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Speaker 2: you can look at pointing to that being a leading

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Speaker 2: cause of most divorces.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so most people we have we got enough issues

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Speaker 1: in a relationship, but we start off in a marriage.

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Speaker 1: And this comes from an oracle. A woman said that

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Speaker 1: she took issue with her now husband because she found

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Speaker 1: out after they got married that the ring that he

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Speaker 1: put on her finger and he used to propose to her,

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Speaker 1: he is now paying for and paying.

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Speaker 2: Off using the joint account.

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Speaker 1: Okay, is this now. Your initial reaction when this was

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Speaker 1: forwarded to us was what? No, Well here, before we

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Speaker 1: get into the details of it, just seeing the headline,

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Speaker 1: what was your initial reaction?

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Speaker 2: Well, so, to me, the very significant phrase that stood

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Speaker 2: out to me was found out. She found out that

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Speaker 2: he was paying for the ring he proposed to her

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Speaker 2: with with their joint account. There was not a discussion.

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Speaker 2: She was surprised by it, and that I can understand

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Speaker 2: not having known that that was happening, or not having

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Speaker 2: discussed that that's how it was going to be paid for.

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Speaker 1: Okay, let me take it one step further. Okay, that

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent agreement. She didn't know. So now she

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Speaker 1: has found out and it's been explained to you. Is

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Speaker 1: that something we can get past.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's something we could get past, because if you

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Speaker 2: don't have the money, you don't have the money. And

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Speaker 2: I know they are I mean, I'm going to get

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Speaker 2: into a little bit of the details here when I

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Speaker 2: say this, But I read that they were saving to

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Speaker 2: buy a house. So when you're actually talking about being

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Speaker 2: a couple, being united and putting your money towards joint

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Speaker 2: ventures as big as a house, then I understand why

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Speaker 2: maybe why would one person just have to take on

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Speaker 2: that expense, especially when it is a part of a wedding.

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Speaker 2: It's not like he bought her birthday gift with it

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Speaker 2: and then had her pay for it. This is some

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Speaker 2: people could argue that the engagement ring is a part

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Speaker 2: of the wedding expense.

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Speaker 1: What do you argue?

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Speaker 2: I Initially, I think I would be a little put off, Like,

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Speaker 2: whoa you proposed to me with the ring that you

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Speaker 2: couldn't afford. That sounds stupid. So that would probably be

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Speaker 2: a little annoying to me. But I could get past it,

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Speaker 2: and I can understand, but initially I would be I

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Speaker 2: would be annoyed.

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Speaker 1: The next part of that is for me, what if

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Speaker 1: you helped pick out the ring, so you which I

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Speaker 1: saw on one of the wedding websites that seventy two

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Speaker 1: percent of couples end up picking out rings together. So

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Speaker 1: the man and woman and the women are a part

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Speaker 1: of it. So if you pick out a ring you

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Speaker 1: got your heart set on, and I know my raise

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Speaker 1: ain't coming for another six months now, is does that

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Speaker 1: change anything? You're telling me what I need to purchase

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Speaker 1: for you?

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Speaker 2: That absolutely changes it for me. Okay, Yes, if we

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Speaker 2: picked it out together and I knew exactly how much

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Speaker 2: it cost and we were choosing it together, I don't.

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Speaker 2: I actually think that's probably a smarter way to do it.

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Speaker 2: But if you if you got the element of surprise

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Speaker 2: and the guy wants to go make this gesture and

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Speaker 2: he decides what ring he wants to buy, and he

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Speaker 2: makes those choices, that is kind of on him. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: if you go together and do it, I absolutely think

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Speaker 2: that's a completely different situation.

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Speaker 1: Okay, way, So that sounds he sounds pretty definitive. All

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Speaker 1: bets are off. If y'all picked it out together, y'all

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Speaker 1: should pay for it together.

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Speaker 2: I think you can. I think it's understandable and reasonable.

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Speaker 2: That you would, but I'm a big believer you need

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Speaker 2: to have a conversation about it. I mean, I think

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Speaker 2: that's the thing that was missing here, that they didn't

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Speaker 2: have a conversation about what was happening. So yes, if

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Speaker 2: they went to go pick it out together, I would

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Speaker 2: absolutely want to participate in that and have us do

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Speaker 2: a joint thing.

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Speaker 1: Yes, okay, how do you go about have that conversation?

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Speaker 1: We picked out a ring together, But you have to

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Speaker 1: be under you have to have an agreement that we

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Speaker 1: are going to pay for this together.

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Speaker 2: You have to have an understanding about what each person

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Speaker 2: is financially capable of covering. And so yeah, say you know,

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Speaker 2: if you're the guy, hey babe, I really want to

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Speaker 2: get you the ring of your dreams, but I don't

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Speaker 2: have the money right now. I know, I totally get that.

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Speaker 2: I totally get that we have a hard time deciding

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Speaker 2: who's paying for dinner. So I you know, I think

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Speaker 2: I can understand toime.

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Speaker 1: We do what we don't have hard let me so

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Speaker 1: we don't have a hard time deciding.

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Speaker 2: We had a lot of back and forth in the beginning,

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Speaker 2: and it was quite funny because if I tried to

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Speaker 2: pay for some of it or all of it. I

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Speaker 2: got a Venmo back immediately with an extra five dollars attached,

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Speaker 2: saying that was funny. Sometimes you actually give me the

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Speaker 2: middle finger emoji.

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Speaker 1: We'll edit that out. Tell me. We are from a

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Speaker 1: different way, right, a different gener I want to say generation,

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Speaker 1: but still we are older folks see it in a

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Speaker 1: more traditional way. We go to dinner, the man pays.

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Speaker 1: That's just it. From the moment I joined ABC News,

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Speaker 1: you were already there. There's not a moment a day

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Speaker 1: in our ABC careers that I made more money than

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Speaker 1: you did. So but still, once we started dating, you

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Speaker 1: didn't pay for a meal. I didn't have some expectation

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Speaker 1: that I she's It's not like I was doing okay, right,

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. But the point there being, it's

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Speaker 1: just in some of our minds that the guy always

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Speaker 1: always pays. And so we had to work this out,

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Speaker 1: you and I, and we have resolved it to where

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Speaker 1: we do we have a joint account now, to where

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Speaker 1: we go out, whatever we do. It's completely fifty to

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Speaker 1: fifty in everything. But this one threw me because the

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Speaker 1: first detail I wanted to hear was whether or not

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Speaker 1: they had a joint account already heading into the marriage, Like,

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Speaker 1: how long have they been together? Within a year or

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Speaker 1: two years? Have they already gotten their finances together? I

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Speaker 1: don't have that answer yet, because if you have a

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Speaker 1: joint account and I need to go buy you a

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Speaker 1: wedding ring, where am I supposed to pay? Where is

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Speaker 1: the money? All my money is going into our joint account,

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Speaker 1: So what are we supposed to do with that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I hear you, I hear you. I do know

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Speaker 2: this detail. I know this detail that they got engaged

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Speaker 2: and one month later were married. So in that very

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Speaker 2: short month between the engagement and the wedding, they did

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Speaker 2: go in and have joint accounts. So they have a

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Speaker 2: joint account within a month. So if he couldn't have

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Speaker 2: paid that off within a month, there was nowhere for

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Speaker 2: it to come but from the join account.

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Speaker 1: But you're making the assumption that they only got the

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Speaker 1: joint account in that month. My argument is that have

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Speaker 1: they been together a year, two years, three year after

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Speaker 1: all that time, sometimes you might already have a joint

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Speaker 1: account together. So I don't know if this is the case.

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Speaker 1: So let's say there is a joint account, this is

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Speaker 1: all we have. I needs to go buy a wedding ring. Now,

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Speaker 1: all of my paychecks have been going into the joint account.

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Speaker 1: What how do I separate? How am I supposed to

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Speaker 1: go pay for the ring on my own? If all

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Speaker 1: my money's going in here? Do I put it on

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Speaker 1: a secret credit card? What am I supposed to do?

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Speaker 2: Well, that's that's a whole other chain of events.

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Speaker 1: Let's go off the rails.

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Speaker 2: Secret credit card.

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Speaker 1: I'll not go off the rails. But if we have

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Speaker 1: a joint account, you and I and I go and

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Speaker 1: I am going to buy you a ring, where is

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Speaker 1: the money supposed to come from?

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Speaker 2: I hear your point. That makes a lot of sense.

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Speaker 2: So I'm assuming for her to be upset, there had

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Speaker 2: to have been separate accounts, at least at the time

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Speaker 2: the purchase of the wedding ring.

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Speaker 1: Okay, and what did the we're going to get into

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Speaker 1: what this This young lady says she's twenty eight. I

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Speaker 1: think the husband is thirty as soon to be ex husband.

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Speaker 1: Emma's in here are our producer, Emma. What was her

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Speaker 1: first can you read me that first quote from the woman,

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Speaker 1: and this is this is fascinating.

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Speaker 3: Her first quote was I was just taking it back,

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Speaker 3: and honestly put off by the fact that he's making

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Speaker 3: me pay for a gift that he gave to me.

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Speaker 3: We have been having some arguments slightly, and he feels

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Speaker 3: that a ring is a wedding expense and it's only

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Speaker 3: fair that I contribute towards it too, and that as

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Speaker 3: a woman of this day, I shouldn't hesitate to be

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Speaker 3: an equal partner.

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Speaker 1: That that's the conversation that should have happen ahead of time. Exactly,

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Speaker 1: you're right, Okay, you can't. You can't argue with that.

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Speaker 1: But what is his argument? What does that make sense?

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Speaker 1: What if you would have said it ahead of time?

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Speaker 1: But he's making an assumption, which he shouldn't have. But

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Speaker 1: you give a gift, it's a conditional gift, right, so

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Speaker 1: he can get it back.

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Speaker 2: That's true.

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Speaker 1: But if she's contributed now to the paying of this

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Speaker 1: conditional gift.

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Speaker 2: It's it's is it partly hers? Yes, it absolutely is.

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Speaker 2: And you're right because that is something of distinction when

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Speaker 2: you talk about an engagement ring. If the wedding doesn't happen,

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Speaker 2: the marriage doesn't happen. I believe it's within his legal

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Speaker 2: rights to get that ring back because it was a

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Speaker 2: promise for something, and so to that extent, yes, her

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Speaker 2: point is that's what you do. The man buys the

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Speaker 2: woman the ring, and then when you get married, that's

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Speaker 2: the promise.

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Speaker 1: And now the ring is hers legally, and that's what

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Speaker 1: courts have ruled all over this country, different states. That

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Speaker 1: has kind of been the consensus.

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Speaker 2: So to her point, if she's helped paid for it,

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Speaker 2: that's kind of taking away the whole point of what

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Speaker 2: the ring is. I get that. So, but I understand

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Speaker 2: what he's saying only if he had the conversation with

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Speaker 2: her ahead of time. I think there is an expectation

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Speaker 2: given all that we just said. Actually, now that we're

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Speaker 2: talking about what it represents and the legalities of what

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Speaker 2: the ring actually is, before and after the marriage, it

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Speaker 2: would make sense that there would be an expectation that

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Speaker 2: he and he alone would pay for it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what do you think about the fact that you

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Speaker 1: have a joint account, he's putting money into it, and

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Speaker 1: if he has to take some of his money out

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Speaker 1: of there to pay for the ring, does that make

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Speaker 1: you feel better even though you're still.

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Speaker 2: Taking out Yeah, I know, I mean that's that'shilarious. No,

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Speaker 2: I mean, yes, but.

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Speaker 1: Does it make you feel better?

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Speaker 2: Maybe? I guess maybe I think what it would be

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Speaker 2: for me would be the shock of it, Like he

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Speaker 2: hasn't talked about it, and all of a sudden you

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Speaker 2: start seeing money leaving your joint account and you think

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Speaker 2: to yourself, where what is this for? And then and

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Speaker 2: then the conversation happens. I think that's the biggest issue.

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Speaker 2: And avoidance is a huge part of this because I

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Speaker 2: was reading so many articles fascinating reading up about money, finances, relationships,

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Speaker 2: and it is one of those taboo topics that most

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Speaker 2: experts and people who are in relationships would agree with.

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Speaker 2: We'll talk about anything other than money, like it's easier

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Speaker 2: to talk about sex, it's easier to talk about, you know,

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Speaker 2: uncomfortable topics, even family, whatever, relationship issues. But people don't

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Speaker 2: want to talk about money. And in one article I read,

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Speaker 2: twenty five percent of the people surveyed did not know

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Speaker 2: how much their significant other made. They didn't even know

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Speaker 2: their salary. That's how much we don't talk about money

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Speaker 2: with one another. Oftentimes, what's her nick?

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Speaker 1: Emma, what's the She has a couple quotes here, Emma,

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Speaker 1: what was her? Next? One?

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Speaker 3: From the young lady, She says, First, you don't make

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Speaker 3: the recipient of a gift pay for the gift. An

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Speaker 3: engagement ring is considered a gift in the most modern societies,

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Speaker 3: even today, and I don't care if you disagree with that. Secondly,

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Speaker 3: I've unintentionally partially paid for two installments now, which makes

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Speaker 3: me a part owner of the ring.

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Speaker 2: I think that makes sense. I would agree with her

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Speaker 2: again without a conversation ahead of time or out, without saying,

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Speaker 2: you know what, that's cool. I get it. We're in

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Speaker 2: this together and we're trying to say for a house,

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Speaker 2: which I think is totally reasonable. But without that conversation,

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Speaker 2: what she's saying to me makes sense.

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Speaker 1: Give me the last one, Emma.

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Speaker 3: If I knew my husband was going to be making

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Speaker 3: me pay for the ring, I wouldn't have agreed to

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Speaker 3: buy it.

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Speaker 1: In quotes making me pay. I mean, that's some in

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Speaker 1: Sindiari language.

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Speaker 2: She's mad, she's pissed, let's be honest, she's so pishy,

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Speaker 2: took it to Reddit and want everyone else to weigh in.

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Speaker 2: And actually a lot of people were not on her side. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: to which you say, TJ.

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Speaker 1: We were we in a recent pot. It's just communication.

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Speaker 1: We talk. We talk about this all the time. The

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Speaker 1: shows we watch, it's all to see how people communicate

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Speaker 1: or don't communicate is the key to everything. It's it's

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Speaker 1: you can't it's hard to pick a right or wrong here.

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Speaker 1: There's some details we are we're certainly not privy to,

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Speaker 1: but I just all of your mon I am a

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Speaker 1: joint guy. But everything we bring in is it's a

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Speaker 1: joint situation, no matter who makes what. That's always been

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Speaker 1: my mindset, even yeah and yeah, as the guy who

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Speaker 1: has always been the higher earner in all of my relationships,

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Speaker 1: that's still that joint. Joint, joint, joint. Some people say

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Speaker 1: that's good. Somebody people say that's bad. Some say that's terrible,

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Speaker 1: a terrible idea. And then the other option is to joint.

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Speaker 1: You have your joint. I have my joint, and then

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Speaker 1: we excuse me, we have our individual accounts, and then

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Speaker 1: we have oneot not a big.

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Speaker 2: You know what, It's so funny. I've done it both ways.

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Speaker 2: I've had everything in a joint, and then I've had

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Speaker 2: a joint where you take you know, the household costs,

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Speaker 2: and you put in percentage wise based on your salary.

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Speaker 2: I mean I've done all sorts of crazy stuff and

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Speaker 2: then had your individual accounts, and I do get it

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Speaker 2: because it's kind of silly and semantics because if you

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Speaker 2: do get married, whatever you all have together is marital property.

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Speaker 2: So when it comes to if you end up divorcing

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Speaker 2: or separating or having to split ways, you still end

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Speaker 2: up having to split everything fifty to fifty by law.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you can work out other arrangements, but technically

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Speaker 2: that is what legally you're supposed to do. So it

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Speaker 2: is maybe this silly notion of thinking I've got control

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Speaker 2: of my money and he's got control of his money.

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Speaker 2: But the problem with that is this separate way of

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Speaker 2: viewing how you're living your life, from vacations to meals

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Speaker 2: to whatever, and so it does create a separation. I

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Speaker 2: understand that, and it makes sense to me. But I

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Speaker 2: felt empowered to have my own account as a woman.

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Speaker 2: I will say that, and I will also add this,

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Speaker 2: it gets further complicated when you have children from other

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Speaker 2: marriages involved, because now you know, it gets really complicated.

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Speaker 2: Money is so it's such a taboo topic in so

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Speaker 2: many ways because because it's about power really at the

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Speaker 2: end of the day.

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Speaker 1: Right autonomy is a big part of this, right, Like

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Speaker 1: I said, if you're going to be splitting and get

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Speaker 1: a divorce, legally it is not going to make a difference.

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Speaker 1: But that is a big deal, and maybe more so

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Speaker 1: for women oftentimes who are not the primary bread wind

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Speaker 1: or excuse me not the higher earners in a house,

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Speaker 1: to have some kind of a feel like you don't

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Speaker 1: you're not dependent on the person you're married to. If

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Speaker 1: you want to go do this, do that have to

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Speaker 1: ask permission to use that money.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And that was that was huge for me, just

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Speaker 2: to feel autonomous and to feel like I was able

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Speaker 2: to take care of my daughter who I was bringing

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Speaker 2: in from another marriage. So I think, you know, that

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Speaker 2: can cause a whole other layer. I think of just

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Speaker 2: needing to feel like I am I'm responsible for these

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Speaker 2: other people and you're not. So I want to keep

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Speaker 2: this money available to me to be able to put

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Speaker 2: into a five to twenty nine or all of those

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Speaker 2: other things. And also sometimes, I mean most of the times,

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Speaker 2: people have very different spending habits. So think about the fight.

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Speaker 2: If you've got the joint and one person's out spending

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Speaker 2: all this money on luxury items and the other person's shopping,

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Speaker 2: you know, very frugally. That can cause a lot of

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Speaker 2: problems too, But the transparency might be better.

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Speaker 1: But that he's shaking his ass andy out the court

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Speaker 1: in my eye, shaking his head. But the first thing

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Speaker 1: that came to mind. You can argue about somebody's spending habits,

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Speaker 1: the first thing they're going to say to you is, well,

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Speaker 1: is my money that can't be healthy?

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Speaker 2: No, it can't be. But if it's in a joint account,

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Speaker 2: wouldn't it even be worse?

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Speaker 1: But then that forces you to talk about it. You

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Speaker 1: have to have a discussion about those habits versus you

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Speaker 1: don't like the way that person's living because they are

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Speaker 1: you're spending all your money over there. We saw this

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Speaker 1: on one of the show what I don't know. We

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Speaker 1: saw this going down. You're complaining about somebody's habits, but

355
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Speaker 1: you can't control their habits because it's not your money.

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Speaker 1: But that's not a healthy way in my opinion.

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Speaker 2: You are right, you are correct in fact, So this

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Speaker 2: is the first time we've had this conversation about you

359
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,360
Speaker 2: being all in with a joint that's I didn't know that.

360
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 2: I didn't know that that was the way you operated.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're the higher earner very much like you're funny,

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Speaker 1: this is the first time in my advantage.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. No. But I also feel uncomfortable being

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Speaker 2: a working woman who is able to take care of

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Speaker 2: herself to not contribute when it comes to going out

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Speaker 2: on dates and meals and all of that. So initially

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Speaker 2: when we first started dating, I felt really uncomfortable with

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Speaker 2: you paying for everything on one hand. On the other hand,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be really honest here. I liked it.

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Speaker 2: It was there's this thing about women, like, do we

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Speaker 2: want to have this women's lib thing where we're independent

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Speaker 2: and we can do everything ourselves. But there's still something

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Speaker 2: in me that really appreciated the fact that you wanted

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Speaker 2: to pay for the bills and you actually not wanted to.

375
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Speaker 2: You insisted on it at all costs, And there was

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Speaker 2: something really I thought beautiful about that. I don't know,

377
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Speaker 2: you're a gentleman, You're you're you want to take care

378
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 2: of the person you're with, and you want to take

379
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 2: you know, you want to give financial support to that

380
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,320
Speaker 2: person or just make them feel comfortable. That there was

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00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,360
Speaker 2: something that I really did like about it. As much

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Speaker 2: as I have maybe railed against it, you know intellectually

383
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,479
Speaker 2: I'm not going to it felt good to know that

384
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Speaker 2: you were there saying I got this.

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Speaker 1: The other side to that, are there are women out

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Speaker 1: there who will absolutely voice their opposition to such a

387
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Speaker 1: thing modern times. I think the younger generation might see

388
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 1: you or feel about it differently. But do you think

389
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:51,359
Speaker 1: most women will will say it to you publicly or

390
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,920
Speaker 1: they'll they'll they'll they have a difficult time admitting that, Yeah,

391
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,000
Speaker 1: I like it, Yes.

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Speaker 2: I actually was. I actually got smaller when I said it.

393
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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going to be honest, and I

394
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,359
Speaker 2: know some women will take issue with me, but I

395
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 2: liked it. I did, and I want to contribute, of course,

396
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,880
Speaker 2: but just the gesture of it maybe was very meaningful

397
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Speaker 2: to me.

398
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Speaker 1: And I used to give you a hard time about.

399
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 1: We used to have to play like it was a

400
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:21,320
Speaker 1: weird game we play in a restaurant going to the restroom,

401
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 1: like this is your fifth time Robock in the past

402
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:28,360
Speaker 1: forty five minutes because you're trying to find the waiter, Tom, because.

403
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,159
Speaker 2: The only way I knew that I could pay the

404
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,040
Speaker 2: bill is if I got up and sneaked, you know,

405
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,679
Speaker 2: a credit card over to the waiter and say can

406
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 2: you just take care of this? The problem was once

407
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,600
Speaker 2: TJ found out the venmo back and forth started, Oh

408
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 2: my god, and the and TJ was brilliant and how

409
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,600
Speaker 2: he ended the venmo because I knew it was never

410
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 2: going to end. He would venmo me back whatever the

411
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 2: bill was, plus five dollars, and then I'd do the

412
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 2: same thing back to him, and then he'd up at

413
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Speaker 2: ten dollars. It's like, I can do this all day.

414
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 2: I want to keep going. So and I knew he would,

415
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:01,400
Speaker 2: and so finally I was just like, uncle, fine, all right, you.

416
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 1: Got it, because yeah, you cost me one hundred dollars

417
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 1: for lunch. Now I've had to pay you one hundred

418
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,639
Speaker 1: and twenty dollars on top, just to make a point.

419
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 2: So finally we and we did. I was like, we

420
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 2: have to get a joint babe. I cannot because we

421
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 2: can't keep doing this. So we did eventually get a

422
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,439
Speaker 2: joint account, but that was even that took longer than

423
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 2: it should have because we had paparazzi on us and

424
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,720
Speaker 2: we didn't want them to see us going into the

425
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 2: bank together.

426
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:28,399
Speaker 1: Do you remember that.

427
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were delayed getting a bank account together by

428
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,159
Speaker 2: at least six months because we couldn't figure out. We

429
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,920
Speaker 2: were on the phone with bankers. We were only trying

430
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,640
Speaker 2: to figure out if we could open up a joint

431
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 2: account without physically having to go into the branch, and

432
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 2: the answer was no. We couldn't figure it out. So

433
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,879
Speaker 2: we ended up delaying it by saying, so I'm still

434
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,439
Speaker 2: way behind in having any sort of equality with you.

435
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:52,399
Speaker 2: I mean, that's just the truth.

436
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 1: No, it's it's not no, no, but that we don't

437
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,440
Speaker 1: expect it to even out. I mean, we're not expecting

438
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 1: anything returnal you know what. The only thing and women

439
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 1: listen up to this. This is the only thing, Emma

440
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 1: that we ask at that dinner. And I wish folks

441
00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 1: could see this, just that little gesture to where you're

442
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 1: kind of reaching towards your person. Yeah, you don't really

443
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,920
Speaker 1: mean it. You don't really you're not gonna pay, we know,

444
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 1: but you just make the little effort like you're reaching

445
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 1: for it. And we know, Okay, she wants to wants

446
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 1: to try it. She's given an effort instead of just

447
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 1: sitting back waiting and expecting us to pay. That little

448
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,200
Speaker 1: gesture is everything that's all we need.

449
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 2: I would never I can't imagine doing that, But I

450
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 2: guess and I don't know. We have some we have

451
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 2: two younger people with us. But part of the reason

452
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,440
Speaker 2: I think why, maybe yes we want to women say

453
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,360
Speaker 2: these days, we can take care of ourselves. We're making

454
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 2: our own money, we don't need you to pay for it,

455
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,640
Speaker 2: and you can and we get there a hundred percent.

456
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 2: But there also is this notion with money that there

457
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:54,240
Speaker 2: are always strings attached. Is there an expectation of something,

458
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 2: of a second date, or of something to happen later,

459
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 2: or do I owe you? And no one wants to

460
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,360
Speaker 2: feel like they owe someone, So I think maybe that

461
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 2: plays into it as well from a female perspective.

462
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 1: But is that only present in the first date or

463
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 1: second date? I mean, once you get into a relationship

464
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,199
Speaker 1: and things are rolling, At what point, though, in a

465
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 1: relationship you're actually dating somebody, do you start to split

466
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:17,719
Speaker 1: up the bill so you start to say, all right,

467
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: you take this with I'll take this. When does that

468
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 1: start happening?

469
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 2: I do TJ. When does that happen?

470
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 1: Oh, it hasn't happened yet. Not here again. Weird, you know,

471
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. There's never ever a time where I

472
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: was ever dating anyone from high school on where there

473
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,160
Speaker 1: was a point in the relationship where okay, now it's

474
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 1: time versus start splitting it up. I would prefer a

475
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 1: woman you pay for it instead of us splitting the check.

476
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: Splitting the check is embarrassing and impersonal and silly.

477
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 2: I think it puts you in the friend zone too.

478
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 2: It feels like friends split bills. That's what we do.

479
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,919
Speaker 2: I would much rather, as you put it, like I

480
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 2: got this one. You used to always say this, it

481
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 2: all evens out on the end, doesn't.

482
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,359
Speaker 1: This is how I say, we spend enough time together,

483
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 1: but it doesn't even out because I went, we go

484
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 1: to dinner again, and you paid this time. But when

485
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,880
Speaker 1: I am over at your place and you ordered the

486
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 1: prosecco and the stakes and you ordered the takeout here, right,

487
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 1: we're not keeping tabs of just we're together enough. You

488
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 1: you buzz me into the subway sometimes that's two seventy.

489
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 2: You have then mowed me to seventy five. And I

490
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 2: think you did it maybe two months ago, and I thought, really,

491
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 2: we're still here. You're calling me for the subway car.

492
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 1: Because I don't ever want you to feel like I

493
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 1: have an expectation that you should cover something, and it's

494
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 1: just it's going to be a thank you. It's going

495
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 1: to be something that acknowledges that you have done something

496
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,960
Speaker 1: for me financially. Yes, if that's a two seventy five

497
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: subway rat, you.

498
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,359
Speaker 2: Do take it to an extreme, but I also do

499
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,919
Speaker 2: appreciate the intent behind it. And I just Emma, I

500
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 2: want to you. You go on a lot of first dates? Yes, yes,

501
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 2: Why do you introduce her like that? So? I guess

502
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,919
Speaker 2: I was just jumping into the conversation we had had

503
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 2: before the podcast started, So I apologize. We had already

504
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 2: established that Emma as single and went on a first date. Sorry,

505
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 2: I jumped in and just thought the viewers were already

506
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 2: there and the listeners were already there anyway, So yes,

507
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 2: I apologize for that, Emma. But have you ever paid

508
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 2: for the meal or the activity on a first date?

509
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 3: No? I have not paid. I don't think I've paid

510
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 3: ever on the first date, not by choice. But I

511
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 3: think it's like you guys were perfectly saying that it's

512
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 3: the gesture of the man wanting to pay and me

513
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 3: accepting the kind gesture.

514
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 2: How would you feel if he suggested that you split it?

515
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 3: I would split it? But I don't think I would

516
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 3: go on a second date with it really.

517
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,240
Speaker 1: Wow, Why though, why is that such a turn off

518
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 1: because you're twenty two? I just want to for folks

519
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 1: to know who youre talking to here.

520
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 3: I think it's because the men in my life have

521
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 3: treated me with that kind of kindness, and I like

522
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 3: being treated that way by a man because I know

523
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 3: that when they make money, they don't spend it as

524
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 3: often as girls do. So when they want to spend

525
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 3: money on a girl or spend money on something, I

526
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 3: feel like it has more power or there's something bigger

527
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 3: behind it.

528
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,639
Speaker 1: So what would you say along the way of dating

529
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,879
Speaker 1: to where there would be an okay expectation of the

530
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: bill being split or for you starting to pay for

531
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 1: some of them?

532
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 3: I think once we were comfortable with each other and

533
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 3: liked each other, because I would I'm all for wanting

534
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,200
Speaker 3: to split it or buy them Like I one time

535
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 3: I was asked to buy someone a hot chocolate and

536
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 3: I was so excited to buy and one because he

537
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 3: always bought me up all my drinks and food. So like,

538
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 3: I'm so into buying a guy a drink as well.

539
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:55,479
Speaker 1: I'll go thanks for the stake, want some hot cocoa.

540
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 2: I mean, I believe we had some of those moments

541
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 2: where I would think it was really really, I'm like,

542
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 2: I got this one, and then you would laugh I

543
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 2: did it on purpose? Well please let me.

544
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: That would the hell out of me.

545
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: I'm trying to give an example. We're at CBS getting like,

546
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 2: you know, I don't know shampoo. I got this one.

547
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 1: You know, we tried that for a while. We tried

548
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 1: the back and forth, but it always landed to where

549
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: you were buying happy hour drinks, right, and with the

550
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,879
Speaker 1: bills thirty four hours. And for whatever reason, I'm at

551
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,640
Speaker 1: per Se trying to I.

552
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 2: Was like Morton's Steakhouse, it's your turn, right.

553
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: This all was all spawned from this conversation about the

554
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 1: engagement ring, and I isn't it standard The guy gets

555
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 1: the ring, proposes, but then you pay for your wedding bands.

556
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 1: That's more of a joint expense.

557
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, I think that is the traditional way

558
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 2: that people operate. I mean, you know, there's all sorts

559
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 2: of traditions surrounding weddings that people don't necessarily do. The

560
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,919
Speaker 2: bride's family typically pays for the wedding, and the groom's

561
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 2: only typically pays for the rehearsal dinner. But you know

562
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 2: that doesn't always. That isn't always what happens these days.

563
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 2: And I just think, you know, with women, more women

564
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 2: being in the workforce and in the workplace and educated, like,

565
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 2: we're capable of paying for things in a way that

566
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,640
Speaker 2: you know, past generations have not been. But I think

567
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 2: some people still point to something as specific as the

568
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 2: wage gap that still exists, and that could be a

569
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 2: reason why men should still make the offer to pay.

570
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: I saw that. It's interesting, that's an interesting way to

571
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 1: think about it, Like, hey, you're you're unfairly being paid

572
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 1: more than I am. Anyway, Yeah, you covered the meal.

573
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 1: Oh it's there's some logic to that. I mean, it's

574
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 1: you could never quantify that, but still there's some logic

575
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 1: to it. But the engagement ring part, and I would

576
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,360
Speaker 1: love to talk to these two and maybe we'll get

577
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 1: a chance to at some point. Just the idea of

578
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 1: the engagement ring I can't imagine. But I look at

579
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 1: it this way. If you offered analyse a say, hey,

580
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to buy your car, you wouldn't just tell

581
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: her go out pick whatever car you want, I pay

582
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 1: for it. No, right, so I go with that. With

583
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 1: the engagement ring, he had to have some kind of

584
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,439
Speaker 1: an idea. He didn't just like, Hey, what ring do

585
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,440
Speaker 1: you want and I'll go get whatever there had to be.

586
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 1: If you had to have contributed, I would guess to

587
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 1: the picking of the ring in.

588
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 2: Some way, the kind of rings she would like, the

589
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 2: size of rings she would like. I mean, most women

590
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 2: drop really heavy hints if they don't go shopping with

591
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,880
Speaker 2: the boyfriend. It's very much like, Wow, I really like that,

592
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 2: you know, So I do think.

593
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 1: What do you like?

594
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 2: I'm simple? As I pointed out.

595
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 1: Both our producers like, no, really, what do you like?

596
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 1: You know?

597
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 2: I I do like simple, I do like elegance, and

598
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 2: I don't like flashy.

599
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: So what is that?

600
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't have an idea of it.

601
00:28:54,120 --> 00:29:01,400
Speaker 2: I mean it's funny, oh shape, you know, I really

602
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 2: really like. I don't know. I don't even need a diamond.

603
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 2: I really A band is fine question with me.

604
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 3: Yes, So, being on a second marriage, do you think

605
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 3: buying an engagement ring would deter a couple from getting

606
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 3: married again? Officially?

607
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: First of all, it would be the third marriage.

608
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 2: I mean, if you're asking for a friend that's something

609
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 2: else this would be so yeah, I mean my I

610
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 2: think it's one of those when it is your first

611
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 2: and hopefully it's your last engagement and wedding, I think

612
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 2: maybe there's more of an emphasis placed on all of

613
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 2: those traditional things, including an engagement ring. I don't feel

614
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 2: that way now. For me, it's about the relationship and

615
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 2: it's about the the commitment. It really isn't about the

616
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 2: symbol of it. But I totally get it the first

617
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: time and hopefully for most people the last time around,

618
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 2: it is important and it does signify something and there

619
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 2: something beautiful too, So I get why there are so

620
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 2: many expectations and so much money spent on these types

621
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 2: of of of I guess that's just like a symbol

622
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 2: of your commitment. I don't really place a lot of

623
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 2: value on that anymore. Just truthfully, I don't on the

624
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 2: traditions of it, well, yes, on the traditions of it

625
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 2: and having the ring, I just for me, that's not

626
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 2: it's not it's not even in my head. I couldn't

627
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 2: even tell you what I would want or what I

628
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 2: would what I would choose or yeah, and I wouldn't

629
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 2: want anybody to break the bank or spend money they

630
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 2: don't have ever.

631
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: Okay, somebody checked the time code on that he wants.

632
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 1: And we keep referring to these shows and they're they're

633
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 1: wildly entertaining, silly at times, but there's so fascinating to

634
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: listen to people talk about marriage and what they want

635
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 1: in their expectations. We're sitting here a whole conversation based

636
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 1: around a ring, right, and an engagement ring, and that

637
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 1: didn't go well, and you were just saying about the

638
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 1: traditions and first time around you were into this and

639
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: maybe not so more much. Now what do we always say? Now?

640
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: And hearing people discuss their relationships, they're focused so much

641
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: on I want a husband, I want a wife. This

642
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 1: is my dream wedding, this is my dream ring. So

643
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 1: much emphasis is put on the wedding and these traditions

644
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: and not enough on the actual relationship, the marriage. We

645
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 1: were talking about this this is our latest podcast. Right,

646
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 1: people have bad moments in a relationship, but that could

647
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 1: be a great relationship just to have some bad moments.

648
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 1: There are other relationships that are bad relationships and have

649
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 1: some great moments.

650
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 2: Yep.

651
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 1: Every once in a while. Don't ignore the fact that

652
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 1: you got a bad relationship, and we can't ignore the

653
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 1: fact that we got a great one just because we

654
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 1: have a couple of bad moments. And that is what

655
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 1: we have noticed is missing all the time as we

656
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: watch people communicate in relationships. And so this is another

657
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 1: we're talking about all this and money and this and that.

658
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 1: That's really not where the focus should be. And I

659
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: get it. Yes, we had to go through a lot

660
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: of experience and difficult experiences to get here. But I

661
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: could recommend to anybody you should not want to get

662
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 1: married until you find somebody you want to get married too.

663
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 1: Those are two different thing, right, people are twenty five

664
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: now and single, thirty and single, whatever. I want to

665
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 1: get married. I want to get married and want to

666
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 1: get married. Emma, you want to get married one day? Yes, okay,

667
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: I encourage you to change that thinking. Right, It sounds good,

668
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 1: It sounds like a fantasy. But there's gonna be somebody

669
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: that comes along in your life and you're going to

670
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: say I want to marry him instead of just wanting

671
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 1: to get married. And I could absolutely say that about you.

672
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 1: You're not going back and forth about this all the time,

673
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 1: like I want to marry you. I don't need to,

674
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 1: but I want to be married too, and that's such

675
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: a different thing as we sit here and talk about

676
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 1: engagement rings and joint account Yeah.

677
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 2: I mean, it's interesting having gone through this now both

678
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 2: of us twice, and I know that can be joke material,

679
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 2: but I actually think it's been such hard earned. God,

680
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 2: I mean just I've learned so much through going through

681
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 2: both of those relationships and now being in this one

682
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 2: with you. And to your point, we all get caught

683
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 2: up in the traditions and in the expectations and in

684
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 2: what we think we're supposed to do or what looks

685
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 2: like the next thing to do. But interestingly, now with

686
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 2: the choice totally in front of us to get married

687
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 2: or not for us, we're kind of on the fence

688
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 2: and laughing about it because it doesn't matter because we

689
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 2: know we want to be with each other, we want

690
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 2: to marry each other. We don't have to necessarily get

691
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 2: married because of what that represents. It's almost for everyone

692
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 2: else and not for you, And so I just we've

693
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 2: been watching these shows and it's and I get it.

694
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 2: I've been swept up in it. We all have. But

695
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 2: it's about almost the you know, going through these moments

696
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 2: in life that you look forward to maybe as a

697
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 2: young girl or a young boy and then getting to

698
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,840
Speaker 2: do those things, but it's not as focused on the

699
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:19,920
Speaker 2: relationship and the person and what comes after the wedding.

700
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 2: All of that somehow gets lost in the shuffles so

701
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 2: many times, and then you're like, and in these shows

702
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 2: they say, oh, man, this isn't what I thought it

703
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 2: was gonna be. Yeah, this isn't what I signed up

704
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,439
Speaker 2: for because the focus hasn't been on the person. So yes,

705
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,439
Speaker 2: and I'm not faulting, cause we've all been there, and

706
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 2: I get the excitement of all of that and the

707
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 2: ring and the wedding dress and all of that. But

708
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:48,000
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, it's about the relationship

709
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 2: and most importantly, it's about the communication. And that's what's

710
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 2: missing in this specific story is the communication.

711
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: Isn't that something we've gone all and talked about all

712
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:01,479
Speaker 1: this That problem could have been solved with talking yep,

713
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: ibby damn.

714
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 2: Talking about money, talking about what you have and talking

715
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 2: about what you don't have. And that's okay too, you know.

716
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 2: I think, like you said, it's hard for men to

717
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 2: open up about not maybe having the amount of money

718
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 2: they want to have or And there's so many times

719
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,799
Speaker 2: you see people not disclosing the debt they have because

720
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,320
Speaker 2: when you marry someone, you don't just get their bank account,

721
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 2: you get their credit score and you get their debt

722
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 2: and that all is your responsibility too when you get married.

723
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 2: That people don't think about. So having these conversations about

724
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: money is very important.

725
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 1: Well, my credit score was higher and my debt was

726
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:36,320
Speaker 1: lower before I bought the engagement ring.

727
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 2: Ah, yep, all of that matters. It all contributes to

728
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:44,879
Speaker 2: the end game. And if you're in it together, it

729
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 2: is about figuring it out together. I mean, do you

730
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 2: consider yourselves partners in every way? Because marriage, gosh, it

731
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,360
Speaker 2: started out as a business. Wasn't it a financial enterprise

732
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 2: to begin with? Isn't that really a lot of the

733
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,719
Speaker 2: reasons why we even have marriage. So to not acknowledge

734
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 2: that there is a financial aspect to it and it

735
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 2: is a business agreement in a way. You're merging in

736
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 2: every way, including financially. But you and if you don't

737
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 2: talk about the finances behind it, what you bring to it,

738
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 2: that's the recipe for disaster.

739
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,720
Speaker 1: Average costs of a an engagement ring in this country,

740
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 1: your guests would be how much handy.

741
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:25,800
Speaker 4: I'd probably go with like their twenty thousand.

742
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 1: What where the hell did you grow up? Jesus Christ,

743
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,720
Speaker 1: what would you say the average cost of a wedding

744
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 1: ring engagement ring in this country?

745
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:37,720
Speaker 3: Fifty thousand?

746
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: What?

747
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,479
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm telling you I already like my first one

748
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 2: was three thousand, and I didn't even really have one

749
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,919
Speaker 2: the second time, so I did it was I didn't

750
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:48,360
Speaker 2: So I was just.

751
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 4: Thinking, like inflation, maybe I am.

752
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 2: I am living in another world. If that's real. If

753
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:54,720
Speaker 2: those numbers are close to being real.

754
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 1: Wow, they are not.

755
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 2: Okay, they are actually Like I was, like, I really

756
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 2: think my one was three thousand dollars in my second

757
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: one didn't exist.

758
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: They are not close to being accurate. Actually, good, I

759
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,080
Speaker 1: feel better now they're actually higher. I'm kidding. I'm kid,

760
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm kidding. I'm getting it almost still out of my

761
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:17,760
Speaker 1: im that the average is about fifty five hundred bucks. Okay,

762
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,359
Speaker 1: the average in the country or a wedding for an

763
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: engagement ring. Now, what area of the country would you

764
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: say they're most expensive? Who's spending the most in?

765
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 2: What? Mukers?

766
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 1: The mid Atlantic area is actually where so up in

767
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 1: our region? So that's about seven grand average. And then

768
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: the Midwest. In the Midwest is the lowest average or

769
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 1: engagement rings about forty nine hundred bucks.

770
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 2: But still that's more than I thought. If you would

771
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,240
Speaker 2: ask me, I would have guessed thirty five hundred.

772
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: And that's a lot of money for anywhere in anybody.

773
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 1: This three old everybody's familiard. They still do the three

774
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 1: month thing.

775
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:52,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, three months salary, that's what they say. Well, yeah, well,

776
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 2: then maybe I guess Andy and Ma's numbers would be

777
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:59,240
Speaker 2: closer to correct if you talked about this region.

778
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 1: Yes, but the three month through and people still go

779
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:04,959
Speaker 1: by that, and a lot of guys I would assume still

780
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,839
Speaker 1: go by that. But it the experts will tell you

781
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: stop stop stop thinking about that number. Stop thinking about

782
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 1: a three month salary rule. They say it was just

783
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: made up by the industry, the jewelry industry, to try

784
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 1: to get people to spend money a higher amount on it.

785
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 2: I also think this is a cautionary tale because we

786
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 2: do know the close to fifty percent of all marriages

787
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 2: end in divorce. If you think you've got some valuable

788
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 2: property in a ring, no matter how much you've spent,

789
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 2: wait till you have to try to sell that said ring.

790
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 2: It is pennies to what you actually purchased. So these

791
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 2: these these beautiful pieces of jewelry don't appreciate. In fact,

792
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 2: it's like buying a car. The second you try to

793
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 2: sell it after you've purchased it, it goes down significantly

794
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 2: in value. So just just a little, just a little,

795
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 2: what do you do.

796
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 1: With that ring? Does somebody want a ring that has

797
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 1: a divorce on it? No?

798
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 2: I think you know you can sell it back to

799
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 2: a jeweler. You can, you know, give it to your daughter,

800
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 2: you know whatever. But yes, it's tough.

801
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 4: One question I have so like, I know, promise rings

802
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:09,800
Speaker 4: have become like a really big thing. How do you

803
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:11,720
Speaker 4: guys feel about that? Because they know, like Larisa Pippin

804
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 4: and Marcus Jordan did that and like and they're together.

805
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 2: I actually they might be back together again.

806
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm just kidding in talking.

807
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:25,399
Speaker 4: About both like the financial strain and engagement ring can

808
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,480
Speaker 4: put on you and like the pressures of marriage kind

809
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,080
Speaker 4: of staying away. Ah, Like it is a promise ring,

810
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,400
Speaker 4: a compromise, I guess that's what I'm saying.

811
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:38,320
Speaker 1: It seems so weird to to plan another prenuptial agreements

812
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:42,320
Speaker 1: out there to plan for the potential demise of your marriage.

813
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 1: As you're planning for the marriage, right, I am buying

814
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 1: a ring just in case I get divorced. I am

815
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 1: going to only do a promise ring because things might

816
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,400
Speaker 1: not work out. I get it that is probably the

817
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: safe thing to do given the numbers, But that is

818
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,879
Speaker 1: something about that feels odd as I as I sit

819
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:01,319
Speaker 1: here with you with a ring around your neck.

820
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 2: Yes, because we had that same conversation, so yes, and.

821
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: You were going to do this. Okay, Wall, let's not

822
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 1: do this. Okay, we'll skip it, but go ahead. I

823
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:19,760
Speaker 1: don't have to answer his question.

824
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 2: I think any gesture of wanting to be together is beautiful,

825
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 2: and I think it's a beautiful thing to give or

826
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 2: to receive. And it's a promise, and there's nothing legally

827
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 2: binding you to that person. But I actually, as we've discussed,

828
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 2: don't mind that concept at all. What to just promise

829
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 2: to be together? We don't have to have a judge,

830
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 2: you know, sign something.

831
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 1: Weren't you all in here for the episode in which

832
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: she said he wanted you'll hear for that, right, Okay?

833
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 2: But I think there's something beautiful about that, I've told

834
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 2: you how much beautiful, I said, beautiful, No, and I

835
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 2: fully discussed how much I love Goldie Hawn and Kurt

836
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,040
Speaker 2: Russell's relationship and they are not married.

837
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 1: And then what did she say? Guys right after that?

838
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: You you did not get away from the idea that, Yeah,

839
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,760
Speaker 1: I intellectually, I know it's silly, but still I would

840
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 1: prefer a marriage and a judge to sign off it,

841
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:21,280
Speaker 1: because it's it's it's it's it's more than a promise.

842
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,359
Speaker 1: It's harder to break up. You actually said, I did.

843
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,279
Speaker 2: I did, but I still can say that I think

844
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 2: the idea of the promise ring and the choice to

845
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 2: be together is a beautiful one.

846
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: All right, Well, we are rooting for this couple. Who

847
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 1: knows what happens to them. Maybe we'll we will get

848
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 1: a chance for them. But I'm always all, I just do.

849
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 1: I root for love and happiness, and I hope they

850
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 1: get this worked out, and if they don't, then I

851
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 1: hope they're okay down the road. I just it's it's

852
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 1: it's tough. I hate to hear them starting out this way.

853
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 2: But perhaps by her even bringing this up and having

854
00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 2: a conversation about it, we're talking about it, maybe they

855
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 2: will have better conversations in the future. This is a

856
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 2: big warning, sound like, whoa screwed up here? We didn't

857
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 2: have this conversation then, but let's do it now and

858
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 2: let's keep doing it. And I think it's also something

859
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 2: I was surprised and then I had to reflect back

860
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 2: and be honest about how little I've talked about money

861
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 2: and how often it has bread resentment and frustration, and

862
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,799
Speaker 2: you don't discuss it for whatever reason because it feels icky,

863
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 2: it feels tacky, right, But the truth is it's such

864
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,720
Speaker 2: an important part of how you live your lives together,

865
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,720
Speaker 2: and if you can't talk about that, there's probably bigger

866
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 2: problems you have to deal with as well. So it's

867
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 2: just a reminder to communicate and to talk about stuff.

868
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:37,880
Speaker 2: Talking about the hard stuff is how you get through

869
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 2: the big things in life. And my mom always said this,

870
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 2: and we've talked about this. You're never fighting about what

871
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 2: you're fighting about. So you can fight about money, you

872
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 2: can fight about whatever, but at the end of the day,

873
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 2: it's pointing to a larger communication issue that you probably have.

874
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 1: Who are you fighting about? Just just yesterday we were

875
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 1: fighting about something.

876
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 2: I don't remember. I remember having a lovely day.

877
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 1: No, no, something on. We were disagreeing about something here

878
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 1: that was so ah. It was who ordering dinner, ordering

879
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 1: lunch or you say, I'd never tell you what my

880
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 1: order is, right, So we were fighting about that. So

881
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 1: what is our bigger issue? Because that's we were fighting

882
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 1: about something else? As your mom would say, right, you're

883
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 1: not really fighting about what you're fighting about. So what

884
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:20,439
Speaker 1: are we really fighting about?

885
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 2: Rose, I don't know, right, Can you tell me?

886
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 1: No, me not sharing my appetizer order is a symbol

887
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:28,760
Speaker 1: of a bigger problem.

888
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,320
Speaker 2: Well, see, here's the deal. I don't think we were fighting.

889
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 2: I think we were teasing each other, which is different.

890
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 2: If we were actually fighting, then maybe I could come

891
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 2: up with what was behind it. But I think we

892
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 2: were just teasing.

893
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: All right, Well, Andy, we appreciate you all as always

894
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 1: chiming in here, and folks, look help you. You know what,

895
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 1: There's got to be a takeaway. Everybody goes through this

896
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,319
Speaker 1: in relationships, so hopefully there's some takeaway which you can

897
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 1: always find us and chime in on the conversation if

898
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 1: you'd like. On our official instagram, the show's instagram at

899
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 1: Amy and t day podcast you can find us as well,

900
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,319
Speaker 1: But until next time, roll up your parting thoughts to

901
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:08,839
Speaker 1: all those lovers out there, talk

902
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:09,399
Speaker 2: To each other.