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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og okay storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but

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Speaker 1: before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 2: I want to divorce my husband and marry my best friend.

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Speaker 1: Why.

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Speaker 2: I am twenty eight right now and he is twenty nine.

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Speaker 2: I had an arranged marriage back in late twenty twenty two. Okay,

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Speaker 2: that's why I don't have a father. He passed away

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Speaker 2: when I was sixteen. I had met a couple of

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Speaker 2: potential matches for marriage, and this one seemed like a

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Speaker 2: good guy. He appeared mature and was financially stable. Plused

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Speaker 2: he was, he was in Italics, he was something Italian.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he was a Titan, he was a tight, he.

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Speaker 2: Was a don't know what that was trying to say.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from deleted and if you

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Speaker 2: would have spent your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 2: slash okay story sign sepreddit. So to be honest, I

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Speaker 2: don't want to brag, but I've always felt I was

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Speaker 2: above average and looks and received attention from boys. I

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Speaker 2: had two serious relationships in school and college, but I

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Speaker 2: feel like they were only interested in me because of

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Speaker 2: how I looked. There was a stolen kiss with my

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Speaker 2: second relationship, and I felt like that was enough. They

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Speaker 2: didn't understand me, and I was looking for a meaningful relationship. Besides,

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Speaker 2: if my mom found out, she would have been so hurt.

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Speaker 2: We got married and things looked great, like everyone says,

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Speaker 2: it was wonderful until the honeymoon phase ended. Then things

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Speaker 2: started to fall apart. Our first fight was about finances.

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Speaker 2: We both work in the software industry. He earns twice

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Speaker 2: what I do, but spends almost everything on new gadgets

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Speaker 2: and fancy things to maintain. Is what is this something?

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Speaker 2: Status ilchin Ehian Illesian.

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Speaker 1: So it's something to do with tech. Yeah, there's like

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Speaker 1: a scale of like people who are early adopters of

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Speaker 1: technology versus like people who yeah, adopt it when it's

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Speaker 1: already in kind of bow. Can you look that up? Kean,

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Speaker 1: What the heck does that mean?

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Speaker 2: What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: It's like it's like I doublespital i am okay, wait

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Speaker 1: wait we got it, Sonya and Yeves in the comment

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Speaker 1: says that that refers to a student or graduate of

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Speaker 1: the Indian Institutes of Technology.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, nice, so thank you so much to college

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Speaker 2: for technology? All right, I don't get it. I had

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Speaker 2: faced hard financial conditions after my father passed away, so

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Speaker 2: it's my habit to always save money. But he wouldn't

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Speaker 2: listen to me. Once he replied, oh, so you won't

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Speaker 2: let me enjoy my life after working my entire childhood

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Speaker 2: for it. I was baffled. I dropped the topic and

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Speaker 2: never raised it again. After that. We thought about his

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Speaker 2: late night outings, his friends coming over to watch cricket

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Speaker 2: and leaving the entire house a mess without helping me clean,

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Speaker 2: him mocking me in front of his friends for not

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Speaker 2: being able to pass je being too close with his

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Speaker 2: female friends, sitting on the sofa with dirty shoes, not

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Speaker 2: being clean, and many other things. The only one that

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Speaker 2: I'll give him is sitting on the sofa with dirty shoes.

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Speaker 2: Why are you sitting on the sofa with dirty shoes?

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Speaker 1: Are your shoes on the sofa?

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Speaker 2: Are your shoes on the sofa?

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Speaker 1: What are you? Dave Chappelle?

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Speaker 2: What's going on there? All of this led to huge

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Speaker 2: fights within our first year. Our intimate life was gone

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Speaker 2: after just five to six months of marriage. I had

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Speaker 2: explained to him a few things I didn't like in bed,

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Speaker 2: but he wouldn't listen. He was like, I've seen this

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Speaker 2: in videos and I want to try, but I wasn't

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Speaker 2: ready for it.

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Speaker 1: Booooo boo everyone boo this man ikey.

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Speaker 2: Due to our lack of intimacy, he ended up having

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Speaker 2: an affair with a colleague. Yikes. I was devastated when

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Speaker 2: I found out. I discovered after marriage that he had

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Speaker 2: slept with at least five to six women before me. Okay,

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Speaker 2: and I was his first wife, but not his first

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Speaker 2: in other ways?

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Speaker 1: Is every time that marriage is said in the story,

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Speaker 1: I just want to put arranged in front of it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like that's why this is so bad. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is just basically a stranger who doesn't like you.

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately, it seem like that is the case here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I had assumed he's had one long term, long distance

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Speaker 2: relationship and they were close. I hadn't inquired much and

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Speaker 2: had filled in the gaps myself, but I hadn't expected

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Speaker 2: him to have been with so many women. I felt

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Speaker 2: cheated in this marriage. I wanted to save our marriage.

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Speaker 2: Every friend told me I shouldn't forgive him, that I

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Speaker 2: should file for divorce and ask for alimony. Instead, we

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Speaker 2: went to couple's therapy.

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Speaker 1: Oof.

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Speaker 2: I mean, based on the title, it doesn't seem like

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Speaker 2: we're heading in the best place. And I feel like,

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Speaker 2: you know, these are the flags we should look out

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Speaker 2: for when someone cheats on you and really doesn't seem

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Speaker 2: like they like you all that much. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if that's a marriage that's worth fighting for.

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Speaker 1: I just don't understand the cultural implications of it being

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Speaker 1: an arranged marriage, and like if I mean, all your

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Speaker 1: friends are telling you.

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Speaker 2: To yeah, that's the thing. It's like not even like

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Speaker 2: your friends and family are saying, well, you can't get divorced.

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Speaker 2: Everyone's saying get divorced.

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Speaker 1: Hey, yeah, yey.

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Speaker 2: After two to three months, I felt like my husband

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Speaker 2: didn't want to improve and didn't want to waste more

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Speaker 2: time and money. By this time, I hadn't involved our parents.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to hurt my mom, but I had

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Speaker 2: to tell her. She cried over the phone. I knew

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Speaker 2: it was going to happen. My mom informed his parents,

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Speaker 2: and everyone came to our apartment. His parents scolded him

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Speaker 2: really badly and also scolded me for not informing them earlier.

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Speaker 2: My father in law was about to hit my husband,

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Speaker 2: but somehow my mother in law and my mom managed

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Speaker 2: to stop him. Things went back to normal. I felt

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Speaker 2: like he had improved and we started our life again happily.

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Speaker 2: We traveled and felt like friends for a couple of months,

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Speaker 2: but then things started falling apart again. We had more

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Speaker 2: quarrels and I lost interest in our intimate life and

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Speaker 2: he cheated again a couple of months ago. Enough was enough?

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Speaker 2: Please please leave him?

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Speaker 1: Huh yeah.

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Speaker 2: I moved back to my mom's home in Ahmed Dabbed,

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Speaker 2: Ahmed Dabadabad two months ago before marriage. When I started

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Speaker 2: my job as a fresher, there were five new joiners,

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Speaker 2: including a cute boy let's call him mister m.

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Speaker 1: Now let's call him Mark.

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Speaker 2: Call Mark. He never talked much, was always focused on

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Speaker 2: his work, kind of unfriendly, never joined us for restaurants

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Speaker 2: or anything social. A very punctual guy. After six months

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Speaker 2: or so, he was placed on my project. We sat

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Speaker 2: together and had basic conversations. He was really good at

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Speaker 2: his work and had a great reputation among seniors. I

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Speaker 2: was struggling to meet even basic deadlines. We became really

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Speaker 2: good friends over time, and he helped me a lot

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Speaker 2: in my initial phase. When I faced problems, he would

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Speaker 2: help me in the evenings by staying late with me

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Speaker 2: or calling from home. He never flirted, never tried to

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Speaker 2: take advantage of the situation or touch me inappropriately, never

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Speaker 2: sent any social media request to me. At some point

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Speaker 2: I had to ask him for a social media I

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Speaker 2: felt different around mister m He became a very close

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Speaker 2: friend to me. I understood the way he was, and

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Speaker 2: he understood me very well. Over the years, I could

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Speaker 2: tell him anything about myself, and I knew he would

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Speaker 2: understand without judging me. He came to my home multiple times,

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Speaker 2: and my mom liked him so much. Once after he left,

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Speaker 2: Mom even told me if he belonged to our cast,

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Speaker 2: I would marry you off to him. That boy likes

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Speaker 2: you so much. Oof.

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Speaker 1: That's rough. Cast system bad bad, I'll say it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: system bad.

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Speaker 2: That's just like that's just yeah, there's no that's.

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Speaker 1: Thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Cast systems are never good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Ooh, that's so tough. Okay, leave, leave your terrible husband

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Speaker 2: and go be with Mark.

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Speaker 1: Please.

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Speaker 2: One day, when we were leaving a restaurant, he confessed

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Speaker 2: his interest and his desire to get into a relationship

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Speaker 2: with me. I couldn't do it, so I explain my

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Speaker 2: family situation to him. Although he was already aware of

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Speaker 2: most of the details, he was really sad to hear

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Speaker 2: my rejection. That was the first time I gave him

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Speaker 2: a hug, the first time I ever hugged a man

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Speaker 2: apart from my father.

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Speaker 1: Oh, and your husband. This is a real big cultural difference.

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Speaker 1: I am completely unfamiliar with this kind of situation.

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Speaker 2: The thing is, regardless of the cultural element of this,

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Speaker 2: which is important, your whole fan like your whole friend group,

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Speaker 2: is saying you should leave him, And it seems like you're, like,

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Speaker 2: she hasn't brought up Oh, like I can't leave him

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Speaker 2: because of societal pressure. Like, she hasn't really brought that up.

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Speaker 2: So I'm assuming that's not the main issue here. It

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Speaker 2: seems like she feels like she has to stick it out.

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Speaker 2: In general, I don't know where she wants to try

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Speaker 2: and make it work, and I don't have anything to

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Speaker 2: make work here.

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Speaker 1: You guys, she hadn't ever hugged your husband.

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Speaker 2: That's what it says. This is the first time I

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Speaker 2: ever hugged a man apart from my father. You've never

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Speaker 2: hugged your husband.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that's I don't know, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: That seems like a very very strong programming.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and also your mom is weird for that because

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Speaker 2: you have you're currently married, and your mom's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I totally marry you get to this other guy if

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Speaker 2: he wasn't part of the cast, is like, you're currently married,

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Speaker 2: So it seems like she doesn't even want you to

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Speaker 2: be married to your husband.

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Speaker 1: Normalize breaking traditions that are nothing but a negative force.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Kim Roberts says, I think this was before she

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Speaker 2: was married. She met him before her marriage, so which

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Speaker 2: makes a little bit more sense why her mom would

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Speaker 2: have said that. Over time, we hugged a lot, held

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Speaker 2: hands and kissed once in a while, though I made

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Speaker 2: it clear that there was no future to this relationship. Okay,

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Speaker 2: so it seems like potentially they had met she said

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Speaker 2: I can't be with you because you're not part of

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Speaker 2: my cast, and so that was why the rejection happened.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so that we just had the time.

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Speaker 2: So the cultural context does make a lot of sense

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Speaker 2: here then, Yeah, and also makes sense she probably has

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Speaker 2: hugged her.

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Speaker 1: Husband, right, That's what I was. I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so this was more like when I met mar Es.

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Speaker 2: Yes it was.

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Speaker 1: He was the first guy to ever hugged.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we're getting the background. After about a year, he

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Speaker 2: left to build his own business and I changed companies.

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Speaker 2: We stayed connected over social media and calls. My mom

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Speaker 2: started looking at marriage prospects for me, and that's how

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Speaker 2: I ended up with my current husband. Before Merrit, I

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Speaker 2: had dinner with mister m and updated him about my

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Speaker 2: life and my decision. He was showing that he was happy,

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Speaker 2: but his facial expression said otherwise. I mean, why would

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Speaker 2: he be happy. He's clearly into you. He's told you

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Speaker 2: he's into you, you're into him. Why would he be

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Speaker 2: happy about you marrying someone else? After that, he cut

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Speaker 2: me off from Instagram. There was only one call after

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Speaker 2: my marriage. I felt he wanted to have distance, and

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Speaker 2: I gave him space. I wanted to call him so

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Speaker 2: many times but didn't. After having fights with my husband

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Speaker 2: and coming back to the city, I wanted to meet

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Speaker 2: him again. I felt like I was an idiot for

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Speaker 2: not giving him a chance. We had been together for

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Speaker 2: at least four years, and he was the closest person

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Speaker 2: I've ever had besides my mom. I've called him and

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Speaker 2: we planned dinner. I don't know why I felt like

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Speaker 2: I overdressed or put on makeup to impress him. I

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Speaker 2: reached the restaurant and waited for him. I hadn't seen

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Speaker 2: him in years. Someone came to my table. It was him,

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Speaker 2: but he had changed. Earlier he looked like a boy,

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Speaker 2: but now he looked like a groan, mature man and

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Speaker 2: more handsome.

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Speaker 1: Whoa, oh, he just discovered what aging is.

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Speaker 2: We caught up on life, talked a lot, laughed a lot.

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Speaker 2: I didn't tell him about my marriage situation. I asked

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Speaker 2: him about his dating life, and he said he was

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Speaker 2: on and off dating, but most busy due to businesses.

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Speaker 2: Date his in love with you. M in love with you, dude.

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Speaker 2: This is like the summer I turned pretty, except they're

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Speaker 2: not siblings, I mean.

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Speaker 1: And we don't know. We also don't know how pretty

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Speaker 1: they are.

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Speaker 2: Oh he said she was pretty?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Well, he literally said, I don't want to my own horn,

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Speaker 2: but I'm pretty attractive.

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Speaker 1: I want to my own horn. But I did hug

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Speaker 1: that guy, and.

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Speaker 2: Then she said, mister, m pretty attractive too. She actually

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Speaker 2: do know how attractive they are according to themselves.

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Speaker 1: According to them, So yeah, we investigated ourselves and found

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Speaker 1: us to be wildly attractive.

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Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left to the story.

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Speaker 2: Do you have any final thoughts.

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Speaker 1: It's hard because it's like this is a cultural thing

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Speaker 1: that's probably been programmed into.

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Speaker 2: Op for a whole life.

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Speaker 1: But it's like theoretical tradition all right of nowhere. Ever

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Speaker 1: in particular, say somebody wants to be a piano player,

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Speaker 1: but there's a tradition when you turn eighteen, we smash

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Speaker 1: your hands with hammers. Everyone does it. What you're not

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Speaker 1: going to do that, that's going to really put a

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Speaker 1: strain on the family. Dude, I'm gonna do me. I

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Speaker 1: want to play the piano. I'm not gonna smash my

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Speaker 1: hand with the hammers just because everyone has done it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, tradition is great as long as you're into it, right,

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Speaker 2: not positive about it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing positive about a cast system at all.

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Speaker 1: I none, nope, zero.

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Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left of the story. Ohpee,

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Speaker 2: go after what you want, but first leave your husband.

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Speaker 2: Don't be a cheater as well. When we were leaving

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Speaker 2: in the elevator, he opened his arms for a hug

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Speaker 2: and I rushed in. It was the most satisfying hug

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Speaker 2: I'd ever had. But when we were releasing the hug,

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Speaker 2: I was so close to him, and like old times,

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Speaker 2: I kissed him. He stepped back, said something, I said something.

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Speaker 2: We kissed again. I went to his home and for

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Speaker 2: the first time we made love.

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Speaker 1: Girl, I don't even care. She got cheated on so

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Speaker 1: many times, you've done all. This is your all. This

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Speaker 1: is nonsense. It's not even her husband.

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Speaker 2: It is her husband.

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Speaker 1: I don't see it.

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Speaker 2: It is her husband.

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Speaker 1: It literally is a piece. Yes, they don't. They feel

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Speaker 1: nothing for each other. On her seven times your husband.

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Speaker 1: This is the first guy she ever hugged. Yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is this is caste system. BS.

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Speaker 2: You gotta leave your husband. You want to leave your husband.

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Speaker 2: Everybody wants you to leave your husband.

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Speaker 1: The only reason they're not leaving each other is because

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Speaker 1: of the cultural and societal pressure, which is an outside source.

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Speaker 1: This functionally, they wouldn't have been married.

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Speaker 2: When I woke up for the next day, I felt

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Speaker 2: like I had taken revenge on my husband, but in

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Speaker 2: the process had used my best friend. I couldn't keep

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Speaker 2: it to myself. When he woke up, I told him

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Speaker 2: everything about my marriage and being on the verge of divorce.

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Speaker 2: He was surprised to learn this, but in the end

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Speaker 2: he told me that if I was ready, we could

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Speaker 2: get married. He would be more than happy to marry

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Speaker 2: me rather than date another girl and build a life

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Speaker 2: with her. I've taken time to think about everything. I

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Speaker 2: know nothing about the divorce process. I want no alimony

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Speaker 2: from my current husband. What I've always looked for was

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Speaker 2: a meaningful relationship, that's all. Another big challenge is convincing

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Speaker 2: my mom to let me marry a boy from a

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Speaker 2: different cast. She's modern but still believes in cast differences.

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Speaker 2: I'm ready to fight for my life. I have a

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Speaker 2: good understanding with my mother, but I've never dared to

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Speaker 2: go against her. She puts strict rules on me when

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Speaker 2: I was growing up, and I understand why, But please

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Speaker 2: tell me how to go through everything. I mean, I

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Speaker 2: think at the end of the day, it seems like

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Speaker 2: you are pretty independent from your mother. Unfortunately, like it

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Speaker 2: would suck to lose the relationship, of course, but you

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Speaker 2: are getting nothing from being in this relationship with your

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Speaker 2: current husband. He sucks. You guys don't like each other,

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Speaker 2: uh and you love mister em And it seems like

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Speaker 2: she likes him. She's just got all of these, like

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Speaker 2: you know, ingrained biases against casts. But she still seems

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Speaker 2: like she'sn't like, you know, she supports who you guys

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Speaker 2: are together as a couple.

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Speaker 1: So I'm not kidding when I say this, disappear and

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Speaker 1: start a new life with Mark, with mister m could

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Speaker 1: how could your parents support you being or your mom

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Speaker 1: because I think you're that passed away. How could your

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Speaker 1: mom support you being in a relationship with abusive kidd.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know if she is, Like, we haven't

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Speaker 2: heard anything about the mom supporting this relationship, just that

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Speaker 2: she doesn't want her to marry Mark because of the cast.

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Speaker 1: I just think it's implicit. I think, run away and

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Speaker 1: start a new life with this guy. If that's if

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00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,960
Speaker 1: you're whatever, it's going to be better than what you're

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Speaker 1: doing now, get out new life. I kind of think run.

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Speaker 2: If you're already doing the running away thing, then I

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00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,080
Speaker 2: think you just tell your mom and say this is

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Speaker 2: what I'm doing. And if she reacts badly, then it

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Speaker 2: really is awful because clearly there's you know, familial elements

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00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,840
Speaker 2: to the story that are very important. But like, you

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Speaker 2: were not happy and this relationship and you deserve happiness.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's tricky leave your husband.

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Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story. We've got

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Speaker 2: another one, though, and we're gonna jump right into that.

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Speaker 1: My husband called me lazy, so I taught them a lesson.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna see how lazy I can be.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I get the title sounds horrible, but hear me out.

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Speaker 1: I have a twelve year old son and a thirteen

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Speaker 1: month old. Before the pandemic, I worked part time, went

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Speaker 1: to school part time, and took care of the house

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Speaker 1: and kids when not doing the other two. Since the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: I became a stay at home mom, still going to school,

358
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Speaker 1: taking care of the house and kids, but now with

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00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,240
Speaker 1: school back in session and my son doing e learning,

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Speaker 1: I also help a lot with that. By the way,

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00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,240
Speaker 1: this comes from user no Zucchini forty six to fourteen,

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00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,080
Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I have a

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Speaker 1: pretty strict schedule that I keep for myself to allow

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Speaker 1: me to get household chores and the schooling for my

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Speaker 1: son and myself done each day. One day last week

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Speaker 1: I had a migraine. Nothing I did helped ease it.

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Speaker 1: At some point after three pm, after my son was

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Speaker 1: out of school and baby was down for a nap,

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Speaker 1: I laid on the couch to try and help the migraine.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, I see you as someone who gets migraines,

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00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,600
Speaker 1: and like other weird things that happens if me, people

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00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,640
Speaker 1: will think it's not real. Sometimes that's what her husband's

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Speaker 1: gonna do.

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00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,119
Speaker 2: I just think, yeah, I think he's gonna come and

376
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:27,840
Speaker 2: be like, you're being lazy, and I'm gonna bop bop.

377
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:28,600
Speaker 2: I wanna bop that.

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00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,520
Speaker 1: That's the lesson. That's the lesson. My husband came home

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00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 1: while I was sleeping and was already in a crap

380
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,120
Speaker 1: mood and yelled at me that I didn't do anything

381
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Speaker 1: all day except sleep, eat, and get fat bob bob boo.

382
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,480
Speaker 1: I tried to explain to him I hadn't been feeling

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Speaker 1: well and napped because of that. He said that was

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Speaker 1: an excuse, and how would I like it if I

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00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,359
Speaker 1: went to work all day and he was home with

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Speaker 1: the children and I came in and he was asleep

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Speaker 1: on the couch.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Sorry. She works part time and goes to

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Speaker 2: school part time and takes care of the kids.

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00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,359
Speaker 1: Can you give you all three of those things?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 1: Stupid, And then Opie says, I would have said, I

393
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,040
Speaker 1: assume you were tired or not feeling well.

394
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Speaker 2: Like a kind partner.

395
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,320
Speaker 1: I got an empathetic partner. Doc husband took a few

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Speaker 1: days off work. I made arrangements with a friend to

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Speaker 1: do temp work with her. I went to work for

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Speaker 1: a few days, leaving him my daily schedule as a guide.

399
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Speaker 1: The first day he called me twenty times because he

400
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 1: couldn't handle my son's schoolwork, couldn't handle taking care of

401
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 1: the baby, couldn't even go to the bathroom without one

402
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,240
Speaker 1: of them needing something. The second day he called me

403
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,199
Speaker 1: ten times with the same complaints. Both days he was

404
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,720
Speaker 1: asleep on the couch because he was exhausted from trying

405
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 1: to keep up with the kids in housework. I went

406
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,200
Speaker 1: to work. Third day, he showed up with the boy

407
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Speaker 1: the kids and dropped them off without saying anything to

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Speaker 1: me or my friend. Luckily, my friend didn't mind. When

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Speaker 1: I got home the third evening, he was asleep on

410
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Speaker 1: the couch. I let him sleep. I mowed the grass,

411
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,359
Speaker 1: pulled weeds, clean up the house, made dinner, which I

412
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 1: tried to wake them up for but he refused to

413
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,440
Speaker 1: wake up, got the kid's bathe and ready for bed

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00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:00,680
Speaker 1: before he Oh, so.

415
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,439
Speaker 2: Exactly what did he do?

416
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 1: What is he doing around here sleeping?

417
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:09,199
Speaker 2: So he's like, yo, we could switch and I'll show you.

418
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,199
Speaker 2: You won't like it. You're literally taking care of the

419
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:16,120
Speaker 2: kids even when you don't feel well. He called you

420
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,120
Speaker 2: fifty thousand times when he was supposed to be taking

421
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Speaker 2: care of the kids and you were working.

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Speaker 1: Not cool. Husband barely did the minimum of caring for

423
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,399
Speaker 1: the house and kids while I worked. He said, I

424
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 1: did it to make him look like a piece of

425
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Speaker 1: crap parent, and I said, no, I did it to

426
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Speaker 1: teach you a lesson.

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00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 2: You do that all on your own.

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00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 1: Just because you don't see me actively doing something when

429
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:41,440
Speaker 1: you come home doesn't mean I haven't done anything all day.

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00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 1: This all started because you refuse to let me tell

431
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 1: you I had a migraine and was just barely able

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00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 1: to function that day. Luckily, oldest knows what he needs

433
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 1: to do for schoolwork, just sometimes needs a little bit

434
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,159
Speaker 1: of help with it. Baby is up at seven, but

435
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,200
Speaker 1: goes down for nap at twelve. He sleeps three to

436
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Speaker 1: four hours. Am I the ale for trying to get

437
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 1: my husband to see what I do on a daily basis?

438
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 1: Are you an ale for having your husband take care

439
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 1: of your children?

440
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 2: That's the thing. That's the crazy part. Shame, that is

441
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 2: the craziest part. O Pete literally just had her partner

442
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,439
Speaker 2: be a dad for one day, and he was like,

443
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 2: this is soo hard, Like that's your freaking job. I'm sorry.

444
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 2: Is op an a hole for making you figure out

445
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 2: how to take care of your kids? Is she an

446
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 2: a hole because you don't know what your kids need?

447
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 2: That's so embarrassing for you.

448
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 1: I hate that we live in a world where people

449
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 1: just don't know in their hearts that this is not

450
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 1: an ahle move.

451
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 2: You should know or have access to the knowledge of,

452
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:47,840
Speaker 2: like you know what your kids are learning, what doctors

453
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 2: they have, you know, Like it shouldn't be I need

454
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 2: to check in with my part Like you gotta know

455
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 2: that information just to faure know how to take care

456
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 2: of them on your own.

457
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: It's it's not even that like I can almost be like,

458
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 1: all right, well that's something you can work on, right,

459
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 1: It's like, sure, it's a skill you can get better at,

460
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 1: and like, but it was the way that he went.

461
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,679
Speaker 2: Well, what's the attitude.

462
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 1: You did this to make me look like a bad parents.

463
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 2: I desire to learn how to do it. He just

464
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:16,160
Speaker 2: wants to blame her.

465
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 1: We have some comments here. I'll take one guess on

466
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 1: what they voted. Yeah, not the A hole suck amentor

467
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 1: Wan says husband barely did the minimum of caring for

468
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 1: the house and kids while I worked. Comment one is

469
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:33,000
Speaker 1: quoting back OPI saying my husband said I did this

470
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,959
Speaker 1: to make him look like a crappy parent. No, I

471
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,879
Speaker 1: didn't do it to make you look like a crap parent.

472
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 1: This is like a hypothetical response from this commenter. No, no, no,

473
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 1: I didn't do it to make you look like a

474
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,680
Speaker 1: crap parent. I did it to show you you were

475
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,679
Speaker 1: being a crappy person to me. But apparently I'm not

476
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,680
Speaker 1: done if you still haven't learned the lesson nice got

477
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,440
Speaker 1: him comment to not the A hole. Your husband needs

478
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 1: to learn to appreciate what you do. He's being manipulative

479
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,159
Speaker 1: to get out of taking responsible as a parent and

480
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 1: is putting you down unnecessarily when you already have a

481
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 1: huge load when it comes to your kids to have

482
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 1: the audacity to show up to your work because he

483
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 1: doesn't want to deal with the kids anymore. Is a

484
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,120
Speaker 1: bundle of red flags on its own. Comedra three says,

485
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,360
Speaker 1: not the a hole. He has no right to call

486
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,360
Speaker 1: you fat. Also, you didn't do it to make him

487
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 1: look like a crap parent. He is a crap parent

488
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 1: because he couldn't do it. Get rid of him, Be happy.

489
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,479
Speaker 1: You seem to be more than capable of doing everything

490
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: yourself anyway. Enjoy the alimony and child support payments. His

491
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:35,439
Speaker 1: crap face will have to pay. Commenter four, Not the

492
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,200
Speaker 1: a hole. You didn't do it to make him look

493
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 1: like a crap parent. He's chosen to be this way

494
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,160
Speaker 1: and a husband, and you forced him to at least

495
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 1: slightly understand that. The question is what do you do now?

496
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 1: Because spending the rest of your life with someone who

497
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,680
Speaker 1: treats you this way is not the answer. There is

498
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 1: an update one month later.

499
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,879
Speaker 2: Yeah I don't. I think that they could absolutely figure

500
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,480
Speaker 2: this out, But he just has to be willing to listen,

501
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 2: because right now he's blaming everything on you, and for

502
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 2: at first he's blaming you needing a break after taking

503
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 2: care of your kids all day and doing everything that

504
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 2: you're doing. And now he's blaming you for him taking

505
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 2: care of your kids all day, and you just have

506
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 2: to have a conversation and see if you can get

507
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,480
Speaker 2: back on the same page about how to parent, cause

508
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 2: you are on totally different.

509
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 1: Books, completely agree. You're living in fundamentally different realities right now.

510
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 2: I mean, if he feels like he's inadequate as a parent,

511
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,720
Speaker 2: then that's his problem. He's got to figure out how

512
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 2: to not be inadequate.

513
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like being like, oh, oh, I'm not strong

514
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: enough to lift this thing. I guess I'll never be

515
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,199
Speaker 1: strong enough to do this. I guess that's it. You

516
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: go to the gym, you work on it, you incrementally

517
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 1: build improvement. About a month ago, I made a post

518
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 1: asking if I was the a hole for teaching my

519
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,880
Speaker 1: husband a lesson about being a parent. In the days

520
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 1: that followed that post, I read the comments and messages

521
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: from everyone here. Seriously, they thank you, guys. You gave

522
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: me a ton to think about. I told my husband

523
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 1: that I wanted to separate, not a divorce, as I

524
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:08,880
Speaker 1: wanted to try therapy Before making that decision. I told

525
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,120
Speaker 1: him I didn't feel like he appreciated what I do

526
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 1: every single day. I also said that he needed to

527
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: get into therapy if he wanted to have a chance

528
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 1: to save our marriage. We could go together or separately,

529
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: but I already had an appointment set for myself. Kids

530
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,440
Speaker 1: and I are staying with a friend who I do

531
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:26,199
Speaker 1: pay some rent to, as well as cleaning up and

532
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 1: helping her in her little shop when she needs it.

533
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 1: I have the kids the majority of the time while

534
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,400
Speaker 1: he's at work. The kids are with me three nights

535
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 1: a week. The kids will go with him, usually Thursday, Friday, Saturday,

536
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 1: depending on his work schedule. We have been to two

537
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 1: virtual therapy sessions with a marriage counselor. He is also

538
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 1: seeing a counselor on his own, as am I. In

539
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 1: the week since the post, I've seen a difference in

540
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,199
Speaker 1: how my husband speaks and acts towards me. Whether it

541
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 1: stays is another matter. He wasn't always the angry, ungrateful

542
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: man that was portrayed in my previous post. There was

543
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 1: a time when he actually showed he appreciated the things

544
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 1: I did and would never say hurtful things to me.

545
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 1: I'm not sure when it all began to change and

546
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: when I began to believe it was okay the things

547
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 1: he said and how he acted. We both have a

548
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 1: long road to get back to normal. I do hope

549
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 1: I can do this with him, but it'll be okay

550
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: if I can't. I do love my husband and I

551
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: want to go home to him boom. But we are

552
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:26,239
Speaker 1: almost done here. Oh boy, I mean I like what

553
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 1: we've done.

554
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:31,400
Speaker 2: I agree. I think not divorcing, but separation to try

555
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 2: and see if they can fix it is the best,

556
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,679
Speaker 2: you know, solution. Yeah, getting therapy, seeing because at the

557
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,439
Speaker 2: end of the day, the goal here is to effectively parent,

558
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 2: because even if they get divorced, you know, even if

559
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 2: they leave each other, he still has to a parent

560
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 2: those kids even more so you know, like now he

561
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 2: definitely isn't going to have her watching them twenty four

562
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 2: to seven, so now he would absolutely have to figure

563
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 2: out I how to care for them. Yeah, So either way,

564
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 2: that's kind of where he's going, and hopefully he can

565
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 2: do that with you.

566
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 1: Indeed, indeed, a few mutual friends that know the full

567
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,719
Speaker 1: story of what's going on with husband and I texted

568
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 1: me to tell me they have noticed a change in

569
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,439
Speaker 1: his behavior as well. One pointed out, he's not drinking

570
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,479
Speaker 1: like he used to, but he's not wanting to go

571
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 1: home either. According to his friend, my husband complains that

572
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 1: it's too quiet at home and he doesn't feel like home.

573
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,360
Speaker 1: Top comments to close it off. Comment one says, Oh, Pee,

574
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,200
Speaker 1: I remember your post, and you are a better person

575
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: than I would have been. While you are the wronged party,

576
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: you are still acting as the bigger person as you

577
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 1: continue to work and take the book of the childcare duties,

578
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: and you didn't displace him with all your efforts. I'm

579
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 1: glad to hear that he realizes that even when he's

580
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: feeling the effects of the best possible scenario of a divorce,

581
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 1: he realizes he still isn't happy. It does sound like

582
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 1: you had the raw end of the deal for a

583
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: long time, and I'm sure the change in routines that

584
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 1: the VID caused didn't make life easier for either of you.

585
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 1: So I'm glad to hear that therapy is working and

586
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 1: really hoping he won't take you for granted anymore. No

587
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: matter what you decide to do. Ope, you're my idol.

588
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: Good luck and keep us posted. Comment two says, you're

589
00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 1: rebuilding the boundaries this man wants completely trampled on. Good

590
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 1: for you and also good for him for attempting to

591
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 1: change his behavior. I hope that he does come around. However,

592
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 1: if he doesn't, please keep protecting your boundaries as the

593
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 1: mother of his children. You do not deserve to be disrespected,

594
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: especially with all that you do. I wish you, guys

595
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: the best comment to three says good for you. Honestly,

596
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 1: this will show him to not take you and your

597
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 1: supermom skills for granted anymore. I hope that this sticks

598
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: and you can go back to a happy marriage, and

599
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: that you spoke to the attorney just in case anything wins. Yeah,

600
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 1: and that is the end of that story.

601
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 2: Good luck, o Pee. I wish the best for you

602
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 2: and your family. I want him to figure out how

603
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 2: to be a father. Anna. Everyone out there who's you know,

604
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 2: think about marrying someone, Think about having kids with someone,

605
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 2: think about it. Maybe have them babysit a couple kids.

606
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 2: See how they do. Do they know how to be

607
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 2: around children? Did they know how to keep a child alive?

608
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 2: Ask those questions, get their answers, and then we can

609
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 2: decide if we want to marry them and have kids

610
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 2: with them.

611
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 1: Agree you know, I'll always do your due diligence before

612
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,959
Speaker 1: you sign up for a lifetime contract.

613
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story, and we've

614
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 2: got another one for you.

615
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: Here it is Sam. Here we're gonna get back to

616
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: the stories. But here's three of its bads from our sponsors.

617
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 2: My husband let our daughter shave her head.

618
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 1: Okay cool.

619
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 2: We have a certain tradition in my family. During the summer,

620
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 2: all children in age ten have their hair dyed currently

621
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 2: with a special dye that wears off after a few days.

622
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 2: We dress and colorful clothes, decorate my grandparents' house and

623
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 2: celebrate for three days in three nights. There's cake, presents,

624
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 2: various contests, and so on. It is a family tradition,

625
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 2: not a matter of culture or country, and it comes

626
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 2: from the time when one of my great great grandmothers

627
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 2: lost many children before they turned ten. By the way,

628
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 2: this comes from deleted and if you would have spent

629
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay, story time,

630
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 2: separate it. So my daughter turns ten this year. She

631
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 2: is one of three children in this age. The celebration

632
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 2: was scheduled for August. First, everything was going well, she

633
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 2: was very happy, and then I went on a business trip.

634
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 2: When I came back, my daughter had a shaved head. Honestly,

635
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 2: I was shocked because during this time I did not

636
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 2: receive any information or even a photo. I asked my

637
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 2: husband what happened. He said that he and our daughter

638
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 2: were watching some cartoon together and one of the characters

639
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 2: had a shaved head. So our daughter decided she wanted

640
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 2: to shave hers too, and he agreed. That caused a

641
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 2: lot of drama.

642
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:49,959
Speaker 1: Because you guys are kind of silly.

643
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 2: We had a bit of an argument, and honestly, at

644
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 2: the time, I was more concerned that he'd allowed her

645
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 2: to shave her head on such a small impulse. But

646
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 2: the next day my mother came in and a conversation

647
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 2: about tradition began. You know how to dye hair that

648
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 2: doesn't exist, Well, you're still dye a buzz cut.

649
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 1: This is why this is so silly. This isn't about

650
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 1: dyeing the hair. This is what did What did she

651
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 1: shave her head with a double zero razor?

652
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 2: Yeah?

653
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: Disover it with like a skull shaver, luthored it? Yeah?

654
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: Is she straight up bald cap Luther? Right now?

655
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 2: The only thing why that I will say, I don't

656
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 2: think that he should make a huge difference or a

657
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 2: huge deal about her daughter shaving her head now, because

658
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,120
Speaker 2: it's already happened. I think you just got to be

659
00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 2: supportive and be like it works great.

660
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you don't support get ready for way more

661
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 1: stuff that you're not gonna like.

662
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 2: However, I do think that the dat like if it

663
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 2: was because it's the way that it's being written, it

664
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 2: seems a little bit like she was like, I want

665
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 2: to shave my hat and he was like all right,

666
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 2: which I do think you should have been like, let's

667
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 2: take a day. Let's see if you want to shave

668
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 2: her head tomorrow, Like you know, are you sure you're

669
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 2: not gonna have hair? I'm all for it if you

670
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 2: want to shaved head, but you just kind of give

671
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 2: because she's ten.

672
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 3: I could see him asking, like a couple of times,

673
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 3: be like yeah, this is what you really want, honey,

674
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 3: and she's like, yes.

675
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, if he did that, I'll all for it. But

676
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 2: you know, like she's ten, So I feel like there

677
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 2: are kind of impulses that maybe we.

678
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 1: We say, let's think this through a little.

679
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 2: Bit, and if you've thought it through and you still

680
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 2: want to do it, all for it.

681
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, ten's old enough to know you

682
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 1: want to shave your head because you watched like a

683
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: thing and you're like, I really I really love that

684
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 1: character and I want to shave my head.

685
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that she shouldn't do it. I'm just saying, like,

686
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 2: if he was just like immediately, let's do it. I

687
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 2: think that there is kind of an element of when

688
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 2: you're talking to a ten.

689
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: Year old I did it.

690
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:47,360
Speaker 2: I think it's a little bit different.

691
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 3: I did eleven. I was like, I want to shave

692
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 3: my head.

693
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 2: I think it is my voice.

694
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, And they're like, all right, you're not gonna like it.

695
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 3: And I was like, hmm okay, mom and dad, yeah,

696
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna like it. I proceeded to be like, okay,

697
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 3: this is is cool for the first day, like all right, I.

698
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 1: Love a shaved head.

699
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: Again. I'm not anti the shaved head at all. I'm

700
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 2: just saying like, neither.

701
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's just more that I feel like, Ope,

702
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: the mom in this situation is writing this in a

703
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 1: voice and tone that is sort of just like dismissing

704
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: any level of importance that it could have had. Sure

705
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 1: by being like, oh, by just she watched some cartoon.

706
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

707
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 1: When I was some of those shows were the most

708
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 1: important things in my life.

709
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 2: And also not that like she is, but you know,

710
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 2: hair is like she could be figuring out herself and

711
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 2: hair is a big part of that, you know.

712
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, and hair grows back. I don't know if you

713
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:40,719
Speaker 1: guys know this.

714
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 2: This is so my mom though. She would be so

715
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 2: upset if I shaved my head at ten. She'd be like,

716
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 2: what have you done? You look terrible? I would not

717
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:53,600
Speaker 2: mean to go, dude, I cut my hair. Sure I have,

718
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 2: there's a picture of it in my idea, which I

719
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 2: not gonna show you.

720
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 1: I would love to set. Can we send your mom

721
00:33:58,240 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: a fake picture of you with the buzz cut?

722
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 2: She would cry, She would get so mad. She'd be like,

723
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 2: what have you done? But I think that right now, Opie,

724
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 2: your daughter has already shaved her head. There's nothing that

725
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 2: you can do about that. Now.

726
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: We just say, you look awesome, you look so cool.

727
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 2: Let's dye the buzz cut.

728
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, gas up your daughter? Yeah, you fool?

729
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 2: But I do think that Opie's husband or is it

730
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 2: the ex husman?

731
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 1: Well, it's you just need to gas You got to

732
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: gas up the daughter. You can't shame your child now

733
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 1: that they've shaved their head.

734
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:32,840
Speaker 2: It's too late. But I do think that he should

735
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 2: have told her, which is what people are saying, like

736
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 2: he should have been like, hey, she wants to shave

737
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:36,399
Speaker 2: her head.

738
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: I feel like he knew she would say no, and

739
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 1: then the daughter would be sad. I feel like this

740
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,600
Speaker 1: is another case of the first story, where it's like,

741
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 1: why don't we just let people do what they want? Huh,

742
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,240
Speaker 1: it's not hurting anybody.

743
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 2: My mother suggested a wig or just painting my daughter's head,

744
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 2: but my daughter burst into tears because she realized she

745
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 2: would be the only ten year old whose hair wouldn't

746
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,760
Speaker 2: be dyed. She also refused to go to the celebration

747
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 2: now because it won't be the same, And now she's mad,

748
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:05,399
Speaker 2: and my husband is furious with me, thinking the whole

749
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 2: tradition is stupid and that it's the tradition's fault that

750
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: our daughter is upset. I, on the other hand, think

751
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 2: he was irresponsible and he should have thought about what

752
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 2: he was doing before he started shaving her head. Yes,

753
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 2: my husband knows about the tradition. He's been there twice

754
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 2: at it. Yes, my daughter is completely bald now, okay,

755
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,280
Speaker 2: but he shaved down to the skin.

756
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 1: That's crazy, that's insane. But Amy Lynn is saying, I

757
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 1: get what Fia is saying, because the daughter needs to

758
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,760
Speaker 1: be taught how to think through her decisions. This is literally,

759
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,399
Speaker 1: that's exactly what this is. Though she shaves her head

760
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: and then if she doesn't like it, she goes, oh wait,

761
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:46,280
Speaker 1: I did this too fast. I've learned my own lesson now.

762
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 2: Yes, but I think there is there are ways to

763
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 2: do it that, like you don't have to go through

764
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 2: the like, oh my god, I just shaved my head

765
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 2: and I have to wait, you know, I think there are.

766
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,040
Speaker 1: Just billiu ved wigs.

767
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,359
Speaker 2: I think this is not at all on the same

768
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 2: level because it's not at all permanent because the hair

769
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:03,440
Speaker 2: goes back. But it's like if a sixteen year old

770
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 2: comes to their parent is like I want to get

771
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 2: a tattoo, and the parent's like, uh no, you're gonna wait.

772
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 2: And if at eighteen you still want that tattoo of

773
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 2: a mustache on your finger, then you can get it

774
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 2: because I can't do anything. But I think it's about

775
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 2: teaching your children to not be so impulsive and to

776
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 2: like think about how that change is going to affect them,

777
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,879
Speaker 2: how long it's gonna last, and if they still want

778
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 2: to do it after that, absolutely go for it.

779
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 1: I just I guess I would just raise a bunch

780
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: of mongrels running around learning lessons.

781
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:38,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. As for what if one of the kids doesn't

782
00:36:38,719 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 2: want to dye their hair, the answer is that my

783
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 2: brother was that kid. So on the day of the

784
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 2: celebration he wore a rainbow wig and no one had

785
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 2: a problem with it. The thing is, as I've already

786
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 2: pointed out, my daughter doesn't want wigs or head paint.

787
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:52,359
Speaker 2: She wants dyed hair.

788
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,280
Speaker 1: And does she want dyed hair because her mom freaked

789
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 1: out about it.

790
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 2: It doesn't really sound like would be freaked out that much, though.

791
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 2: It sounds like sheways upset at the hustle.

792
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 1: Like I feel like if I freaked out, I wouldn't

793
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: put it in my post. Maybe is it just I

794
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. Yeah, I don't have any

795
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 1: bandwidth for four any of this.

796
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 2: Ed it too. I've noticed that many people in the

797
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 2: commons have a strange view of this tradition, so I

798
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:21,360
Speaker 2: want to clarify something. No, we're not talking about passed

799
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,800
Speaker 2: away children, nor is there a cemetery like atmosphere, although

800
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 2: it began with many deceasements. It is a celebration of

801
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 2: life and joy, something like a huge birthday. That's why

802
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 2: everyone dresses colorfully, That's why we paint ourselves and decorate

803
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 2: our houses, and that's why children get presents, comments Bomberg.

804
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 2: Mama says, not the ale. It's her hair to do

805
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,279
Speaker 2: what she wants with. But she's ten too young to

806
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:49,800
Speaker 2: remember stuff when she's excited or think much about consequences.

807
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 2: Your husband should already have remembered the party, which is

808
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 2: already scheduled and not that long away. And asked Oughter

809
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 2: if she was sure she wanted to do it, because

810
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,800
Speaker 2: it would grow back in time to die for the party,

811
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 2: or at least as if she wanted to wait until

812
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 2: after the party, and then if she still wanted to

813
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 2: do it, she could, which is that's kind of my

814
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:09,240
Speaker 2: thought process.

815
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I just think you.

816
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,799
Speaker 2: I think that a job as a parent is to

817
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 2: inform your children of all of the gravitations everything that's

818
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:19,279
Speaker 2: gonna happen, so.

819
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 1: That they know, you know, it's like, are we just

820
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 1: assuming she didn't?

821
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 2: Though?

822
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 1: Are we assuming he didn't? Because this is literally how

823
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,839
Speaker 1: you teach. People are saying, it's like, oh, this ten

824
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:31,439
Speaker 1: year old, it's like, this is how you learn it, Like, yeah,

825
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 1: ten years old, eleven years old, that's like middle school,

826
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 1: Like eleven is middle school in America. I think that

827
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,440
Speaker 1: if you cut your all your hair off and you

828
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 1: don't like it, you learn oh my god, I shouldn't

829
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 1: do that in the future.

830
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,879
Speaker 2: I think there are two different lessons going on here.

831
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 2: There was the first lesson, where he could have informed

832
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 2: her of all the things and if she still wanted

833
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:52,880
Speaker 2: to do it, go ahead, but she knows all the information.

834
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 2: And the second lesson, which comes after you've shaved your

835
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 2: head and you realize you don't like it, and that's go, hey,

836
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 2: I understand you don't like it. I think it looks sick.

837
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:05,839
Speaker 2: Arrah goes back and that's the second lesson.

838
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 1: But I think that you can still choose.

839
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 2: That first informed you know. I think you can still

840
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 2: I don't know, working on like giving everyone like your kids,

841
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 2: all the information.

842
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm seeing I really do think that this

843
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 1: kid is this upset because the mom is furious. She

844
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 1: was furious. I'm sure the kid picked up on that,

845
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,840
Speaker 1: and now the kid is freaking out because they're like,

846
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,839
Speaker 1: oh my god, I messed up. Now, mom's so mad.

847
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 1: I need to dye my hair, but I can't. Oh

848
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 1: my god, I'm freaking out. No, we need to do

849
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:35,919
Speaker 1: it the way the mom wants. Like it's she's ten.

850
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 1: That's the thing that you need, Like, that's the thing

851
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:42,319
Speaker 1: you should be more concerned about. Is like freaking out

852
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: your ten year old over something you can no longer control.

853
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:46,879
Speaker 1: I agree if you could have just given her a wig,

854
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 1: but instead you probably freaked out.

855
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 2: Well, but I feel like you said I couldn't assume

856
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 2: about the dads, so you're assuming about the mom. So

857
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 2: we're making assumptions here. We don't know exactly how they

858
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:57,439
Speaker 2: reacted or how the dad react.

859
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 1: I'm just basing it off the kid. Think about that.

860
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 2: Hazel Wisp says, yeah, this at ten. Kids don't always

861
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 2: think ahead. They just get caught up at the moment.

862
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 2: That's where the parent is supposed to step in and say, hey,

863
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:10,839
Speaker 2: let's hold off until the party and if you still

864
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,280
Speaker 2: want to shave it, we'll do it then. Not about

865
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 2: controlling her, it's about helping her avoid regrets later. Now

866
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 2: she's upset because she feels like she ruined something she

867
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 2: was excited about and that could have easily been avoided

868
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,120
Speaker 2: judgment not the ale. And there is an update a

869
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 2: day later, and I think we just go into it.

870
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 2: I think we've discussed. Yeah, so a few things happened

871
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,560
Speaker 2: since yesterday, and taking advantage of the fact that it's

872
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 2: currently eleven AM in my country and I'm home alone,

873
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:40,319
Speaker 2: I'd like to share this with you. I guess I'll

874
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,839
Speaker 2: start by saying that many of you were right, even

875
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 2: if you were wrong about the reasons. So three hours

876
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 2: after I published my first post, my husband's sister came

877
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 2: over to pick up my daughter. I decided to take

878
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,200
Speaker 2: the opportunity and ask her for help, figuring she was

879
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:59,360
Speaker 2: the perfect neutral person. My husband wasn't happy and strongly

880
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,800
Speaker 2: opposed it, thinking it was unnecessary to still drag this out,

881
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 2: but I asked his sister to talk to my daughter

882
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,760
Speaker 2: about what had happened. Anyway, she my husband's sister, currently

883
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 2: has a mohawk, so I asked her to simply start

884
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,360
Speaker 2: with a hairstyles and then get to how it all started.

885
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,879
Speaker 2: She agreed. They returned around eleven PM. We waited until

886
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 2: our daughter went to bed, then we sat down in

887
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:26,239
Speaker 2: the kitchen and started talking. Well, my husband tried to

888
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 2: end this conversation many times, but I finally learned this.

889
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,799
Speaker 2: The fact is that he and our daughter watched a

890
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 2: cartoon where a character shaves her hair. The fact is

891
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:40,280
Speaker 2: that my daughter found it interesting. But that's where dady

892
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 2: started encouraging us to do it and saying it would

893
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 2: be great. Comes in my daughter told the sister how

894
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,280
Speaker 2: he convinced her that it would be more fun this way,

895
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,680
Speaker 2: and that this way should be able to play the

896
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 2: character in the game. When my husband's sister left, we

897
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,680
Speaker 2: started arguing. I don't know if it's still obvious, but

898
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:00,720
Speaker 2: even as I write this, I'm still pissed.

899
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 1: Ah. So I was totally wrong, and it was the

900
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 1: husband trying to sabotage the tradition.

901
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 2: That's so weird.

902
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't even why would you sabotage a tradition

903
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: given the context of that.

904
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,319
Speaker 2: I didn't even tradition that is an option me either.

905
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, what is he purposely wanted to make his

906
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 2: daughter sad?

907
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,919
Speaker 1: This is now? I don't know what to think?

908
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 2: What what?

909
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 1: Okay? I mean, I definitely think I was wrong.

910
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't even know how you could have

911
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 2: been right about like I wouldn't. I didn't even see

912
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:33,280
Speaker 2: how that was possible.

913
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: Wow.

914
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 2: At first, my husband defended himself, trying to say that

915
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 2: his sister was biased and that it was all lies

916
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 2: and the and that the idea was one hundred percent

917
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,359
Speaker 2: our daughters. But in the end he told the truth. Yes,

918
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:50,320
Speaker 2: he convinced her to cut her hair. No, it wasn't

919
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 2: just about a stupid tradition. It's worse.

920
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 1: What Okay, So boy, okay.

921
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,640
Speaker 2: You see, before the date of the celebration was set

922
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 2: this year, August first, my husband wanted to go on

923
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 2: a week long vacation to Greece. They were supposed to

924
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 2: start August first. So yes, my brilliant husband shaved our

925
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,840
Speaker 2: daughter's head to get back at me for taking away

926
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:13,800
Speaker 2: his vacation.

927
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 1: Is your husband twelve?

928
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 2: I would divorce them over this?

929
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 1: This is yeah, this is actually like insane behavior.

930
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 2: Using your child to get back at your wife for

931
00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 2: saying that you can't go on vacation.

932
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 1: Okay, it's psychotic, Oklahoma, drill for this guy.

933
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 2: That's actually psychotic. I would divorce.

934
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 1: Green Goblin through the hotel lobby. This guy that's insane,

935
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 1: that's and you just used your without a care in

936
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 1: the world for how hurt your daughter would be.

937
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 2: Like, I mean, how do you even like growing up?

938
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 2: If she ever finds this out, she's gonna be like, Yeah,

939
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 2: my dad convinced me to shave my head because he

940
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,240
Speaker 2: was upset he couldn't go on vacation, go to Greece

941
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,759
Speaker 2: and stay there, stay there forever. I don't want you

942
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 2: to ever come back here.

943
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,840
Speaker 1: Have fun. I hear Santorini's nice, you piece of crap.

944
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,279
Speaker 2: He thought that this way we would avoid reuniting with

945
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:10,800
Speaker 2: my family, or at least I would feel what he felt.

946
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 2: You're a terrible person, folks. There's a little bit left

947
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:17,240
Speaker 2: to this story. I mean, like truly divorce door.

948
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 1: It's like this divorce shave his head, fundamental thing that

949
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,720
Speaker 1: permanently changes the way I look at you forever. Yeah,

950
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 1: there's no degree of talking or counseling that will make

951
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 1: me forgive you for like traumatizing our daughter. Yeah.

952
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 2: And also again, she might have been convinced, she might

953
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,839
Speaker 2: have wanted to do this in like some small part

954
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 2: of her She's ten, and you know, if this wasn't

955
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:46,399
Speaker 2: her idea completely and she wasn't advocating like I want

956
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 2: to do this, I like, let me do it. Do

957
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,720
Speaker 2: you like that's gonna affect her so much?

958
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 1: Yeah?

959
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:54,239
Speaker 2: Just right, Yeah, your hair does go back and that

960
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:57,319
Speaker 2: should absolutely Like you shouldn't make her feel bad or

961
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:58,839
Speaker 2: like anything's wrong, Like you have to be.

962
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 1: Like I love your hair, it's so great, You're.

963
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 2: So cool, like that is you know the way to go.

964
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,839
Speaker 2: But but I just can't. Why would you do this

965
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,399
Speaker 2: to a kid? Why would you do this to a kid?

966
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 1: Have him listened to Soundgarden on repeat forever until he

967
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,240
Speaker 1: meets James Gandolfini.

968
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:19,320
Speaker 2: Yes, I too don't know whether to laugh or cry.

969
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 2: I ended up sleeping on the couch, him taking the

970
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 2: bedroom and going to work in the morning. Now our

971
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 2: daughter is currently with my parents while I consider my

972
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 2: next move. I don't want arguing again, but I'm certainly

973
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 2: not going to leave it like that and edits. Our

974
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 2: daughter is currently staying with my parents. That said, when

975
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 2: I took her to them, we talked. The good news

976
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 2: is that we joked a bit about the fact that

977
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:42,319
Speaker 2: at least now we don't have to comb her hair.

978
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 2: The atmosphere was better than in recent days. Together. We

979
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,800
Speaker 2: found some positives in the whole situation, and using your advice.

980
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 2: I also decided to assure her that she still looks

981
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 2: wonderful and that nothing happened that was her fault or

982
00:45:56,440 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 2: I'm not mad at her. Good that's good parenting. Yeah. Unfortunately,

983
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 2: the bad news is that she's still sad. She said

984
00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 2: she still wanted to have her hair dyed, and that

985
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 2: she's already starting to miss the plat Oh and there

986
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 2: are some comments. VID producer says, your husband used your

987
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 2: daughter to get back at you. Girl, run for both

988
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:21,839
Speaker 2: of you. Moody B says, seriously, that level of pettiness

989
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:24,840
Speaker 2: at your own daughter's expense is a huge red flag.

990
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 2: Poor kid doesn't deserve to be caught in the middle.

991
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 2: Sophia Dreamy Doo says, I'd be in jail. You mess

992
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 2: with my kid just to spite me. That's not petty,

993
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 2: that's straight up cruel. I don't care if it's just hair.

994
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 2: That's an effing child, not an emotional puncheon bag. Lisa

995
00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 2: Nosbas says, can you ever trust your husband alone with

996
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 2: your daughter again? He used her to punish you. Think

997
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 2: about that now. She's upset because she's too young to

998
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:56,719
Speaker 2: understand the results of shaving her head. Your husband is disgusting, Hope,

999
00:46:56,719 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 2: he says, I'm definitely thinking about it. I'm gonna pack

1000
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 2: up some of our daughter's things and take them to

1001
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 2: my parents' house. I won't let her be around him

1002
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:08,399
Speaker 2: until this whole thing calms down. Goddess from Cyprus says,

1003
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:11,839
Speaker 2: what on earth he was getting back at you as

1004
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 2: he behaved this way before? Will he do it again?

1005
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 2: Is my worry? How far would he go? I'm not

1006
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 2: sure what you can do about your daughter's hair. Is

1007
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,800
Speaker 2: there a singer or actress she likes that wears wigs

1008
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 2: to change her hair? If so, maybe show her to

1009
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 2: encourage her to try. Hope, he says, you see, the

1010
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 2: strangest thing is that I can't recall a single situation

1011
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:35,239
Speaker 2: where he was this extreme. Did we ever argue or

1012
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,840
Speaker 2: disagree on something? Sure, but he never used our daughter

1013
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 2: against me or became like that. It usually went normal,

1014
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 2: a small argument followed by an apology and a normal conversation. Literally,

1015
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 2: just a few days ago, I would have called him

1016
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 2: a good father and husband. Beagle Mama says, More like

1017
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,880
Speaker 2: he's been playing the long game, waiting for his chance

1018
00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 2: to get revenge. On you for all the years of

1019
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 2: those celebrations. I think his mask has slipped. Using your

1020
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 2: child as a pawn in an adult argument is reprehensible,

1021
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 2: Ope says it would be even more crazy considering that

1022
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 2: we've only been to two celebrations together so far. They

1023
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 2: don't happen every year. A yeah, yai, And folks, that's

1024
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:19,640
Speaker 2: the end of that story. A tutorial for how to

1025
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 2: what ruin your entire family, entire family immediately, so quickly.

1026
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 1: How to ruin your family dynamic one oh one.

1027
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,759
Speaker 2: I mean, I would just not trust him around my

1028
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 2: child ever again, because you left him alone for like

1029
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 2: a weekend, and then you come back, your child's had

1030
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 2: a shaved and you're like, whoa, what happened? And he

1031
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,760
Speaker 2: lies to you and says, oh, that's what she wanted.

1032
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,319
Speaker 2: She wanted it, and then you find out that he

1033
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 2: was the one who was pushing her to do it.

1034
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 2: I mean, like, how do you get over that? I

1035
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 2: don't think I ever would. That's crazy.

1036
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:54,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, But folks, that.

1037
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 2: Was the end of that story. And we have and

1038
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,240
Speaker 2: we got one more for this episode.

1039
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 1: John here og host, We're gonna get back to these stories,

1040
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,279
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break from hops from our sponsors.

1041
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 1: I want to take back my gift because my girlfriend

1042
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:08,480
Speaker 1: took the credit.

1043
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 2: You can't have it anymore.

1044
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: My girlfriend, forty one female, and I forty four male,

1045
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:16,720
Speaker 1: have been together on and off for the past twelve years.

1046
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 1: She has a son from a previous marriage that was

1047
00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 1: four when we met. Fast forward to now and he

1048
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 1: has just turned sixteen. He'll be getting his license soon.

1049
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 1: She needs to get him a car. His dad is

1050
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 1: not in the picture. By the way. This comes from

1051
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 1: user No. Picture eighty seven fifty one, and if you

1052
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:33,719
Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

1053
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaker 1: slash Okay Storytime subret it. So. I still have the

1054
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 1: car that I had when we met, but also I

1055
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 1: had bought a new truck a couple of years ago.

1056
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 1: The car isn't anything really special. It's a twenty eleven

1057
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:47,120
Speaker 1: with one hundred and seventy five thousand miles on it.

1058
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 1: But the engine still seems strong and I've taken good

1059
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,320
Speaker 1: care of it. It's a Toyota Tacoma. I suggested that

1060
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 1: we get it fixed up and give him that for

1061
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 1: his first vehicle. That way, if he bangs it up,

1062
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:58,200
Speaker 1: it's not a big loss. I made arrangements with a

1063
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:00,719
Speaker 1: mechanic friend to do the labor on the car in

1064
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 1: exchange for me doing electrical work at his house. There

1065
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:05,880
Speaker 1: was a lot of work needed on the car, so

1066
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,400
Speaker 1: I'll be providing about thirty hours of my own labor

1067
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 1: that cover my side of the deal. We agrieve that

1068
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 1: I would provide the car and cover the labor through bartering,

1069
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:16,200
Speaker 1: and she would pay for any parts needed to get

1070
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 1: the car roadworthy for a new driver. I've been working

1071
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 1: with my friend to get things going and have been

1072
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 1: fronting all of the parts costs, which have totaled about

1073
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 1: two grand. I also had the car detailed and have

1074
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 1: the windshield schedule to be replaced through my insurance. We

1075
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,719
Speaker 1: had her son's birthday party the other day and she

1076
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 1: was hitting kind of odd. She's constantly taking pictures and

1077
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 1: wants all of us in them, but on this day

1078
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 1: she was only posing with her son in front of

1079
00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:46,759
Speaker 1: the car. I was not asked to join. She also

1080
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:48,319
Speaker 1: made him walk out of the house to see the

1081
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 1: car second time and told him to act more surprised.

1082
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:54,319
Speaker 1: He's known he's getting this car for months, so I

1083
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 1: knew this was all just for clout on social media.

1084
00:50:56,719 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 2: That's weird. Stop using your child for clout. Yeah, that's strange.

1085
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 1: Enjoy the things.

1086
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, and also I really wanted to take a take

1087
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 2: another looksie at. He said they've been on and off

1088
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 2: for fourteen years. I wonder what all those off periods

1089
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:19,319
Speaker 2: have been caused by. I don't know, you know, could

1090
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:24,080
Speaker 2: be like they've been together secret agent their thirties, you know.

1091
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 1: A secret a superspy's an he's an animorph.

1092
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 2: I honestly don't quite understand on and off relationships, but

1093
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 2: we'll get into that later.

1094
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 1: She's been obsessed with growing her following lately, and her

1095
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 1: main concern in any situation is that it be documented

1096
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:42,319
Speaker 1: for content. I find it pretty annoying, but have been

1097
00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:44,720
Speaker 1: trying to keep that to myself lately because it's something

1098
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: she enjoys, although I have voiced concern over her obsession

1099
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:50,960
Speaker 1: in the past. After the party, I took the car

1100
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,319
Speaker 1: home because he doesn't have his license yet and I

1101
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 1: have a few last minute tweaks to make to it.

1102
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 1: Her birthday is a week after this. For her birthday,

1103
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,719
Speaker 1: she made a post about all of her accomplishments over

1104
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 1: the past year. It was a collage of video and

1105
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 1: pictures with captions. I watched the video and near the

1106
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 1: end I see a pick of her and him in

1107
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 1: front of the car, and the caption reads, bought my

1108
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 1: son his first car, which is a lie. Oh no, yeah,

1109
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:19,839
Speaker 1: which is dope?

1110
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:23,719
Speaker 2: Oh no, don't you very stupid? Because he was gonna

1111
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:26,000
Speaker 2: see that obviously, and then when were you? And also

1112
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 2: he knows presumably your child knows that that's his car,

1113
00:52:31,239 --> 00:52:33,879
Speaker 2: you're If he's known for a month, he probably has

1114
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 2: talked opey about it.

1115
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 1: If you wanted more clout from this, make it about

1116
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 1: how your friend helped you and your son get him

1117
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 1: his car, because more people will like that story anyway, Like,

1118
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 1: you don't even know how to cloud chase.

1119
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,800
Speaker 2: No, it's bad. No one's gonna no one's gonna listen

1120
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 2: to you.

1121
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. And if I heard that after I gave somebody

1122
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:55,959
Speaker 1: a car out of the goodness of my heart, I'd

1123
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:58,840
Speaker 1: be like, Hey, so you either have to be like

1124
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:01,680
Speaker 1: I lied, or I'm taking the car back. Yeah, Like

1125
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 1: I like, you need to publicly shame yourself or I'm

1126
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 1: taking it.

1127
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 2: And then and then you got to what are you

1128
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 2: gonna do with all of your clout? You got no car?

1129
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, for all of your other videos. Hopefully you get

1130
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 1: some clout when you're exposed as a dastardly liar. A

1131
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:19,879
Speaker 1: liar to this day, she has contributed nothing to getting

1132
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 1: him into this car. It's my car. I made all

1133
00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 1: arrangements to get it fixed up, and I fronted all

1134
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:26,680
Speaker 1: the money for parts, which she has yet to pay

1135
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:32,360
Speaker 1: me for. She has done literally nothing, literally nothing. To

1136
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:34,840
Speaker 1: be clear, I don't care about getting credit on social media,

1137
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 1: but I feel like it was a slap in the

1138
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 1: face to exclude me when I've been the sole person

1139
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,720
Speaker 1: to make this happen. I feel like this is another

1140
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 1: thing in a long list of situations where she has

1141
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:47,279
Speaker 1: disregarded my efforts and contributions, and I'm considering ending the

1142
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 1: relationship over it.

1143
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:51,640
Speaker 2: Are you gonna stay ended, though, because it seems like

1144
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 2: you've done this a couple times now. How many times

1145
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 2: have you been off and how many times have you

1146
00:53:57,680 --> 00:53:57,920
Speaker 2: been on?

1147
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:01,680
Speaker 1: It could be one hundred, be a dozen, been twelve years,

1148
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:06,760
Speaker 1: it's been eighty four years. However, I am also considering

1149
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 1: telling her that if she wants all the credit for

1150
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 1: getting your son this car, then she can pay me

1151
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 1: full market value for it, so I can recoup the

1152
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:16,359
Speaker 1: parts in labor I have into it as well as

1153
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 1: my initial investment. Would I be the a hole if

1154
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 1: I took back the car and get him a cheaper

1155
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,560
Speaker 1: gift unless she pays for the whole thing. Edit to

1156
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 1: answer some questions, this is my first time posing on Reddit,

1157
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,840
Speaker 1: but I'm a baby, and to be honest, I didn't

1158
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 1: expect such huge sponts. My goal isn't to withhold this car,

1159
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 1: more of a question of do I charge her the

1160
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 1: full amounts since she wants all the credit. Some people

1161
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:38,280
Speaker 1: have suggested that I actually want the credit on social media.

1162
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:40,759
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have cared if there was no post about it,

1163
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:42,959
Speaker 1: or if she had even said we got him a car.

1164
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,759
Speaker 1: What I'm bothered by is her excluding me completely when

1165
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:47,239
Speaker 1: she felt like she needed to post about it.

1166
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:49,480
Speaker 2: That's the thing like anyone who says, oh, ohp you

1167
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 2: just want credit on social media, It's like no Opie

1168
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 2: clearly didn't care about the social media like being posted

1169
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,799
Speaker 2: about on social media. It's the fact that she went

1170
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:02,239
Speaker 2: public and said I did it alone. It's like when

1171
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 2: you go into a giant room and you said, yeah,

1172
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:06,920
Speaker 2: I should say I'm taking credit for this thing. That

1173
00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:09,759
Speaker 2: I had no pardon, Like, yeah, okay, we didn't need

1174
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 2: to tell a whole group of people, but now you

1175
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,840
Speaker 2: have told acroll group of people and you lied about it.

1176
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, like literally, the only way they're keeping this car

1177
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 1: is if they fully shame themselves. Yeah, they do. The

1178
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:24,440
Speaker 1: shame to her the game ring, iting, ding, reading ding, shame.

1179
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 1: She has not refused to pay for the parts. She

1180
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 1: just hasn't yet. What's the difference. Her son is in

1181
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 1: no danger of not having a car. She makes good money,

1182
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 1: and if he doesn't get this car, she would likely

1183
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:41,239
Speaker 1: finance him a nicer one. We have separate homes and finances.

1184
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:44,080
Speaker 1: While we've been off and on, it's been mostly on

1185
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:46,279
Speaker 1: together for three years, broke up for a little over

1186
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:48,840
Speaker 1: a year, and then got back together, been back together

1187
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:51,120
Speaker 1: for about eight years with only a couple of hiccups.

1188
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 1: Since I intended to hold up my end of the bargain,

1189
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 1: say as long as she does. The difference now is

1190
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:00,719
Speaker 1: she will need to reimburse me for arts prior to

1191
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 1: me turning over the vehicle. If she won't do that,

1192
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 1: I'll have to assess that at the time. Her son

1193
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,239
Speaker 1: and I have had some rough times over the years,

1194
00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:11,160
Speaker 1: as well, but our relationship has been better in the

1195
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:14,160
Speaker 1: past couple of years than ever before. I included him

1196
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:17,600
Speaker 1: in my hobbies like golf and snowboarding and make sure

1197
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 1: he has the equipment to participate. I also cover all

1198
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 1: costs related to them. I enjoy including him in these

1199
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:26,880
Speaker 1: things and think he does as well. They are activities

1200
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:30,439
Speaker 1: he likely wouldn't be exposed to otherwise. I love them both,

1201
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,800
Speaker 1: and that's why I suggested this arrangement in the first place.

1202
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:35,680
Speaker 1: I wanted to help her financially, but was also excited

1203
00:56:35,719 --> 00:56:38,319
Speaker 1: to play a part in this milestone for him. I'm

1204
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:42,200
Speaker 1: still considering our relationship, but I'm just very disappointed and

1205
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 1: hurt by her actions. Come at number one says, was

1206
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:49,680
Speaker 1: she ever planning on actually paying you back for the parts?

1207
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:52,920
Speaker 1: Or was she just planning to pay you later aka

1208
00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,600
Speaker 1: never paid me? Yeah, My guess is she never would

1209
00:56:56,680 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 1: have contributed assent. She is taking advantage of you. You op.

1210
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:04,000
Speaker 1: If she did actually reimburse you for all the parts

1211
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 1: you've purchased, I'd consider still giving her son the car,

1212
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,560
Speaker 1: but only if he's demonstrated he is thankful in not

1213
00:57:09,719 --> 00:57:12,359
Speaker 1: acting entitled to it. But the love of God, though

1214
00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:15,319
Speaker 1: break up with her and find someone with integrity who

1215
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 1: wants to be with you for you and not the

1216
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:21,160
Speaker 1: money you give, not the ale. Comment two says OP

1217
00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 1: should invoice the girlfriend for the car, and if she

1218
00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:26,080
Speaker 1: pays up, then she is indeed buying her son a

1219
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 1: car for his birthday. If not, well, then I guess

1220
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:32,280
Speaker 1: OP can sell the car and make some money. Comment

1221
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 1: three ess definitely confront her about the lie. Lying is

1222
00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 1: never okay, then ask her to delete it. She is

1223
00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 1: way too old to be acting like one of those

1224
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 1: phony twenty somethings self appointed influencers. If she gives you

1225
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 1: any pushback on either point, dump her and take the

1226
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:52,640
Speaker 1: car with you. Reply says, this is exactly what I

1227
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 1: came here to say. Talk to her first, in a

1228
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:59,000
Speaker 1: non confrontational way. Use I statements. Quote when you first

1229
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 1: posted that you bought your son his first car, I

1230
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 1: felt blankety blank. Then, depending on the outcome of the convo,

1231
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 1: make your decision about the car and the relationship. You

1232
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 1: really have to speak up. She cannot read your mind

1233
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 1: and may not realize her faux paw. And by the way,

1234
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,000
Speaker 1: you sound like a really kind and considerate person.

1235
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 2: I agree.

1236
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 1: Comment Ford, does the son know you were giving him

1237
00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 1: the car. He has he thanked you for the car.

1238
00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 1: If the answer is no to any of those questions,

1239
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:31,400
Speaker 1: then keep the car and sell it. Ope, he says, yeah,

1240
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:33,640
Speaker 1: I feel the same. If the kid knows what's up,

1241
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:36,200
Speaker 1: then don't bother. He did it for the kid. If

1242
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 1: the kid is appreciative, then it's all good. Take the

1243
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:42,120
Speaker 1: car back, and the relationship with them is over. Based

1244
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:44,520
Speaker 1: on his feelings, it might already be over. So I

1245
00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:47,000
Speaker 1: guess it becomes a question of whether he wants to

1246
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 1: ruin his image in the eyes of the kid or not.

1247
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 1: Girlfriend clearly values internet cloud over him and with low

1248
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 1: following that means lower than zero, So no image to

1249
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 1: save them.

1250
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:02,480
Speaker 2: Oh, oh, like she valued she values you lower than

1251
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:06,000
Speaker 2: zero because she has such a low following. Oh you're

1252
00:59:06,040 --> 00:59:08,360
Speaker 2: like less than her tiny following.

1253
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 1: And there is an update, Sophia.

1254
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 2: I mean, I think you have a conversation with her

1255
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:15,400
Speaker 2: because you've been together with her for so long and

1256
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 2: you were literally about to give her kid a car. Like,

1257
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:20,880
Speaker 2: clearly this is an important relationship. But I think you

1258
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:23,200
Speaker 2: talk to her and you say, hey, I really didn't

1259
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 2: appreciate that you said this online and made it seem

1260
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 2: like I played no role here, like if it would hurt.

1261
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 2: It felt like you were kind of taking advantage of

1262
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:35,480
Speaker 2: what I was doing. And then, depending on what she says,

1263
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 2: we break up and we don't give this kid a car.

1264
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:42,440
Speaker 1: It's like just on business, I'm standing on it. You can't.

1265
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 1: I'm not letting you get away with this.

1266
00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:46,800
Speaker 2: Fortney Electro says they were twelve years on an off relationship.

1267
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:48,560
Speaker 2: If you don't lock it in after that long, I

1268
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 2: don't know what to say. I mean, like, I don't

1269
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 2: even think I think that. I don't know if you're

1270
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 2: saying marriage or anything. I don't think they have to

1271
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 2: get married to be locked in. But it doesn't seem

1272
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 2: like they were locked in in general. So yeah, it

1273
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 2: doesn't seem like this is, yeah.

1274
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,320
Speaker 1: My eyes relationship for you never got married to your

1275
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,200
Speaker 1: life partner. Yeah they were locked in.

1276
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you can absolutely be locked in without

1277
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:15,080
Speaker 2: being married. These people were not. And she's selfish, So

1278
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:15,800
Speaker 2: there you go.

1279
01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 1: I was waiting to talk to her in person, but

1280
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:21,920
Speaker 1: we only see each other once a week, and plans

1281
01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:24,760
Speaker 1: fell through this weekend because she got called into work.

1282
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 1: I texted her asking why she would exclude me told

1283
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,000
Speaker 1: her it was a slap in the face to see

1284
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 1: the post claiming she had bought the car. She apologized

1285
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:35,320
Speaker 1: for making me feel that way, but claims she didn't

1286
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:38,200
Speaker 1: realize I wanted this to be a shared gift because

1287
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 1: I never asked for recognition.

1288
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 2: Huh what what? I'm sorry? What she's like, Oh, I

1289
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:50,240
Speaker 2: didn't realize that you wanted to be thanked, so I

1290
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:52,280
Speaker 2: stole your gift. I thought that was fine.

1291
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:54,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought we had the rule, we didn't need

1292
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 1: bibliography as for.

1293
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 2: Any of the I thought like when you were giving

1294
01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 2: all those checks to my parents for their birthdays, I

1295
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:04,880
Speaker 2: thought those were from me. I told them all that

1296
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,480
Speaker 2: that was from me, not from you, because you never

1297
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:12,440
Speaker 2: thought she wanted any things. That makes no sense. That's nonsense.

1298
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:15,160
Speaker 2: For King's set, that is n o n sense.

1299
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:17,760
Speaker 1: She claimed she thought I was selling it to her

1300
01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:20,440
Speaker 1: for the cost of repairs. She also stated that it

1301
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:24,000
Speaker 1: was a post celebrating me and my accomplishments since turning forty.

1302
01:01:24,280 --> 01:01:26,600
Speaker 1: Said maybe it was selfish, but it was a proud

1303
01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:29,400
Speaker 1: mom moment after scraping by sixteen years ago to now

1304
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 1: be able to fully provide her son with a car.

1305
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:35,560
Speaker 1: You're not well I mean the under the assumption that

1306
01:01:35,720 --> 01:01:38,880
Speaker 1: she really did believe that, you know, maybe there was

1307
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:41,800
Speaker 1: a miscommunication and she's like, oh, I can buy it

1308
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:43,520
Speaker 1: from you for the cost of repairs.

1309
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:48,959
Speaker 2: Okay, but she but isn't I mean, she that's the plan.

1310
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 1: But it's like, yeah, I think op's realizing, Like Op,

1311
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 1: he's trying to be like, do you realize that, like

1312
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:57,439
Speaker 1: I could have charged you, like way more money, yeah,

1313
01:01:57,840 --> 01:01:59,200
Speaker 1: for this car, churaging.

1314
01:01:58,960 --> 01:01:59,760
Speaker 2: You for the repair.

1315
01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:00,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1316
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:03,280
Speaker 2: So really, I'm not even charging you for the repairs.

1317
01:02:03,760 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 2: You're getting a car and then you have to repair it,

1318
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:08,640
Speaker 2: like you know, like that's you'd.

1319
01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 1: Have to do that if I'm rocking with what I

1320
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:13,000
Speaker 1: think we're rocking with here. It's like an old, reliable

1321
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:16,000
Speaker 1: twenty eleven truck. Yeah, it's seventy five. I think that's

1322
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:18,880
Speaker 1: a Toyota and it's probably worth somewhere in the neighborhood

1323
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:22,200
Speaker 1: of ten to eleven k yeah, not two.

1324
01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1325
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 1: She did admit that she had done nothing to date,

1326
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:28,920
Speaker 1: but didn't realize I wanted her to because again, you didn't.

1327
01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:32,200
Speaker 2: Ask again, so she is not planning to pay for anything.

1328
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:35,200
Speaker 1: I replied that I didn't realize I needed to ask

1329
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:37,800
Speaker 1: for appreciation when gifting a car worth a minimum of

1330
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:41,040
Speaker 1: fifteen hundred and then my goodness, fifteen hundred. That's not

1331
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 1: that's not a tacoma, and then providing labor that was

1332
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:47,840
Speaker 1: a minimum of another fifteen hundred, and fronting the cost parts.

1333
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:50,520
Speaker 1: I said that covering parts was two thousand, but fully

1334
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:53,280
Speaker 1: providing the car was closer to forty five hundred. Her

1335
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:55,720
Speaker 1: response was, Oh, I guess we were just thinking of

1336
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 1: it differently. She then offered to pay the forty five hundred,

1337
01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:00,840
Speaker 1: or that I could just sell it elsewhere and get

1338
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:01,240
Speaker 1: more for it.

1339
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:04,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, she isn't taking responsibility in any way.

1340
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:08,000
Speaker 1: But like, I don't know, part of me really feels

1341
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 1: like this was just a misunderstanding. Okay, okay, And there

1342
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:16,600
Speaker 1: is like that like the immediate like oh, well, yeah,

1343
01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:18,240
Speaker 1: i'll buy it for forty five I'll buy it for that.

1344
01:03:18,440 --> 01:03:20,160
Speaker 1: I'll buy it for however much it costs you to

1345
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 1: fix it, because I thought that was our agreement.

1346
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:25,840
Speaker 2: Yes, it totally could be a miscommunication, but I do

1347
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:30,720
Speaker 2: think that even that type of miscommunication says something. It's

1348
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:33,800
Speaker 2: like someone gives you a gift and you're like, oh,

1349
01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:36,320
Speaker 2: I don't have to thank them. I don't have to

1350
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:38,840
Speaker 2: say anything. They gave it to me, so I don't

1351
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:41,160
Speaker 2: know with them anything. It's like someone's done you a

1352
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:46,240
Speaker 2: very kind thing, and it's just kind of it's just

1353
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:48,560
Speaker 2: kind of obvious to me that you would thank them

1354
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:52,880
Speaker 2: and appreciate them and say like, hey, son, your you know,

1355
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:56,120
Speaker 2: or my boyfriend has just done something amazing for you.

1356
01:03:56,760 --> 01:03:59,120
Speaker 2: Write him a thank you card. I don't know, take

1357
01:03:59,160 --> 01:03:59,840
Speaker 2: him out to dinner.

1358
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:03,360
Speaker 1: But did they tell them that in person? Like I'm like, really,

1359
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,280
Speaker 1: like I've flipped on this now because because of the

1360
01:04:07,320 --> 01:04:10,440
Speaker 1: like the immediate willingness to be like, oh, well I

1361
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 1: can pay the I can pay the more for it,

1362
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:16,320
Speaker 1: Like I truly just thought because it's like, yeah, if

1363
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:18,880
Speaker 1: it's a post about being like I'm so happy I'm

1364
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:21,880
Speaker 1: able to provide for my son. My friend is like

1365
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:24,920
Speaker 1: giving me this car now. But it's like, I'm she

1366
01:04:25,120 --> 01:04:27,560
Speaker 1: sounds like she's fully paying on paying that money. Yeah,

1367
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:29,120
Speaker 1: she has enough money to pay it.

1368
01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:34,600
Speaker 2: So suspicious, but I think it's a suspicious miscommunication personally.

1369
01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:37,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I told her it was never about the money

1370
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 1: for me, But if she wanted it to be all

1371
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:42,800
Speaker 1: from her, then forty five hundred was fine. I also

1372
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 1: told her she's not obligated to buy this car since

1373
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:47,600
Speaker 1: it's more than what she initially thought. She said she'd

1374
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:50,000
Speaker 1: call about getting a loan to pay for it. Not

1375
01:04:50,080 --> 01:04:51,960
Speaker 1: sure why. I was surprised that she doubled down and

1376
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,800
Speaker 1: then gas lit me as if I should have to

1377
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:57,240
Speaker 1: ask for appreciation or acknowledgment of my efforts. So like

1378
01:04:57,320 --> 01:04:59,000
Speaker 1: she didn't come up with you at all, like personally,

1379
01:04:59,120 --> 01:05:01,800
Speaker 1: like it doesn't seem like but like when this happened,

1380
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 1: was she not like, oh my god, you're gonna do

1381
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:07,000
Speaker 1: this for me, like thank you so much? Like I'm like,

1382
01:05:07,720 --> 01:05:09,440
Speaker 1: I feel like most of this is just coming from

1383
01:05:09,600 --> 01:05:13,000
Speaker 1: It's like, well that Instagram post is fake and I'm sorry,

1384
01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:14,920
Speaker 1: get offline.

1385
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 2: I disagree. I disagree. But if it was if someone

1386
01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:22,120
Speaker 2: for free, if it was literally for zero dollars, I agree.

1387
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:24,560
Speaker 1: If it was for zero dollars, this is like what

1388
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:27,680
Speaker 1: are you doing? But she's going to but she wasn't

1389
01:05:27,760 --> 01:05:28,280
Speaker 1: planning to.

1390
01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:31,760
Speaker 2: That's the thing she said, Oh, I didn't realize you

1391
01:05:31,880 --> 01:05:33,680
Speaker 2: wanted me, Like she said, I didn't realize you wanted

1392
01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:35,360
Speaker 2: to be to pay anything or that I had to

1393
01:05:35,480 --> 01:05:37,400
Speaker 2: thank you. No, that's what she said.

1394
01:05:37,640 --> 01:05:39,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, but it's in the context of the post.

1395
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:42,720
Speaker 1: She was planning to pay that two thousands she said.

1396
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:45,480
Speaker 2: She just said, like just now. When he confronted her,

1397
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:48,000
Speaker 2: he said or. She said, oh, I didn't think I

1398
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:48,680
Speaker 2: had to pay you.

1399
01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:50,920
Speaker 1: No, it was I didn't think I had to pay these.

1400
01:05:51,040 --> 01:05:53,280
Speaker 2: She said both let me go back. Yeah, or I

1401
01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 2: might have misunderstood, but like I think regardless, she went

1402
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:01,440
Speaker 2: online and told everyone a lie, and then he saw that.

1403
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:03,000
Speaker 2: I would be her too. I'd be like, why are

1404
01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:03,960
Speaker 2: you Why are you lying?

1405
01:06:04,120 --> 01:06:06,600
Speaker 1: I really do think, like, so, okay, it could be

1406
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:09,400
Speaker 1: I said that covering parts was two k, but fully

1407
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:13,400
Speaker 1: providing the car was forty five. Her response was, I

1408
01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:15,880
Speaker 1: guess we're just thinking of it differently. I don't know

1409
01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:18,240
Speaker 1: that yet. It just really feels like she was planning

1410
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:20,480
Speaker 1: to just pay forty five hundred at some point, or

1411
01:06:20,520 --> 01:06:22,840
Speaker 1: to that two thousand, which is I don't know.

1412
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:23,520
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1413
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:27,360
Speaker 1: I just think we should not care about what a

1414
01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:31,120
Speaker 1: name post on social media are, especially if it was zero.

1415
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:34,280
Speaker 1: If it was zero dollars, I'd be like, yeah, that's dumb.

1416
01:06:34,560 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 2: I think I disagree with that, just because if someone

1417
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:39,960
Speaker 2: I don't know and I don't care about post something

1418
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:42,840
Speaker 2: about me. Sure, I don't care if a partner, a

1419
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:46,960
Speaker 2: close friend posts a lie on that has something to

1420
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:48,880
Speaker 2: do with me, I'd be like, hey, why are you

1421
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:49,840
Speaker 2: spreading this information?

1422
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:52,680
Speaker 1: Maybe she's just casting herself up. Man, I don't know.

1423
01:06:53,200 --> 01:06:54,160
Speaker 1: She's still gonna.

1424
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:56,400
Speaker 2: Pay now, but let's finished off.

1425
01:06:56,520 --> 01:06:57,960
Speaker 1: So now it's up to her whether she wants to

1426
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,280
Speaker 1: buy this car outright, get a different one, or just

1427
01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:02,400
Speaker 1: honor the agreement I thought we had to begin with.

1428
01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:05,840
Speaker 1: Whatever happens with the car is inconsequential to our relationship.

1429
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:08,760
Speaker 1: It's pretty clearly over at this point, and that's the

1430
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:12,360
Speaker 1: end of that's. Yeah, and there you have it. Yeah,

1431
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:13,640
Speaker 1: I really, I just.

1432
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:16,520
Speaker 2: Don't think they're I just don't think they're like men

1433
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:18,560
Speaker 2: for each other if they're going on and off and

1434
01:07:18,640 --> 01:07:21,600
Speaker 2: then she lies on social media, and that's the end

1435
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:26,080
Speaker 2: of the relationship. This clearly wasn't a good relationship. But folks,

1436
01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:29,320
Speaker 2: that's the end of that story and the end of

1437
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:31,960
Speaker 2: this episode. So if you love us, make sure to

1438
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:34,800
Speaker 2: subscribe We Love You and see them a