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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: My brother and sister in law want me to lie

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Speaker 2: to my niece. I refuse.

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Speaker 3: Sanna, is it real?

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Speaker 4: I was thinking about that too, Sam Page Dude. I female,

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Speaker 4: twenty nine, have a brother, Hugo, male thirty one. When

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Speaker 4: Hugo was nineteen, he got his then girlfriend Amy pregnant.

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Speaker 2: They had their daughter, Ashley.

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Speaker 4: Now eleven, and later got married and had a baby

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Speaker 4: boy who is four. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 4: deleted on our slash Okay Storytime supreddit. So over the years,

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Speaker 4: I've become close to Ashley. When I'm home I live abroad.

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Speaker 4: I take her out to shows, shopping, horse riding, et cetera.

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Speaker 4: We also keep in contact via text.

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Speaker 2: She's bright and thoughtful, just a pleasure to have around.

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Speaker 4: Amy has never liked me, but has mostly put this

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Speaker 4: aside for Ashley. Me and my boyfriend are visiting my

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Speaker 4: family for Christmas and then leaving to go skiing. We

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Speaker 4: arranged for Ashley to come skiing and stay with us

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Speaker 4: for New year's Amy wasn't keen on this idea, but

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Speaker 4: relented because Ashley was excited to learn how to ski,

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Speaker 4: as all her.

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Speaker 2: School friends do.

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Speaker 4: I took my boyfriend's hire car to pick up Ashley

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Speaker 4: from school on Friday, and she was excited. But it's

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Speaker 4: a sports car and I let her friends sit in

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Speaker 4: it and take pictures. At dinner, she asked if I

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Speaker 4: would drive her and chaperone her and her friends going

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Speaker 4: ice skating on Tuesday in town. Hugo and I probably

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Speaker 4: didn't want to look after a bunch of kids, and

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Speaker 4: Amy had already planned to chaperone. Ashley ignored me and

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Speaker 4: begged me to chaperone. I didn't really mind, but Amy

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Speaker 4: looked so annoyed, so I said I wouldn't want to

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Speaker 4: mess with the established plan. Ashley kept pushing and said

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Speaker 4: she didn't want Amy to come because Amy dressed badly

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Speaker 4: and was never fun and embarrassed her. Hugo told her

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Speaker 4: to apologize, which she did, but she also kept insisting

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Speaker 4: that it was true. I'm sorry, but it's true, You're

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Speaker 4: just a dressed bad Amy got tearry, and Hugo kept

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Speaker 4: telling Ashley she'd upset her mother, but this just made

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Speaker 4: Ashley angrier, and she dug her heels in. Because of this,

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Speaker 4: she was told that she was not allowed to go

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Speaker 4: ice skating and is now not.

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Speaker 2: Speaking to Amy. O Boy No Boy.

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Speaker 4: Yesterday, Amy and Hugo came to me and said that

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Speaker 4: they didn't want Ashley to come skiing anymore. Amy feels

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Speaker 4: like Ashley needs to spend more time with her family,

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Speaker 4: and Hugo is supporting her. They asked if I would

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Speaker 4: tell Ashley that me and my boyfriend had changed our

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Speaker 4: plans and wouldn't be going on the trip anymore. I

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Speaker 4: asked why, and they said if they told Ashley the truth,

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Speaker 4: that she would blame Amy.

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Speaker 2: And that would defeat the point of her trying to

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Speaker 2: build a bridge with Ashley.

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Speaker 4: I said, I understand that, but I didn't feel right

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Speaker 4: lying to Ashley, and if her parents had made the decision,

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Speaker 4: they need to deal with the consequences and not push

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Speaker 4: it on to me.

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Speaker 3: That's true, because usually the right thing to do is

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Speaker 3: a hard thing to do, and they're trying to not

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Speaker 3: do the hard thing.

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Speaker 2: Here true true.

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Speaker 4: Amy said, if I cared about Ashley, I would realize

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Speaker 4: it's best for me to fall on my sword rather

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Speaker 4: than alienate her further from her mother. I said no again,

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Speaker 4: but Hugo said that we should all take until Wednesday

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Speaker 4: to think about it. Ashley is still being very standoffish

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Speaker 4: to her mother, and I know that if she finds

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Speaker 4: out her mother canceled the ski trip, it will get worse.

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Speaker 4: So now I'm wondering if I should just go along

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Speaker 4: with Amy's plan.

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Speaker 2: I just want what's best for Ashley. So am I

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Speaker 2: the a hole?

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Speaker 3: What do you think I'm gonna give her a no? Here?

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Speaker 3: I feel like the parents need to pair it up

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Speaker 3: and tell Ashley what is right. I think the excuse

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Speaker 3: they want is Amy and Ashley, you are not on

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Speaker 3: a good bridge. So in order to fix that, Ashley

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Speaker 3: needs to spend time with Hugo and Amy.

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Speaker 4: Honestly, I'm maybe playing devil's advocate a little bit. I

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Speaker 4: kind of get it, you know, I kind of get

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Speaker 4: what Amy and Hugo are saying.

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. Really, Yeah, you gotta hear me

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Speaker 2: out on this one.

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Speaker 3: Get it.

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Speaker 2: Give me some space, go for it to think.

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Speaker 4: So listen, they're the parents, right, if we're looking at

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Speaker 4: it from their perspective, which we don't have much of

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Speaker 4: we have, you know, a peace perspective. Amy and Hugo

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Speaker 4: are already like pretty distant from Ashley, right, don't remember why.

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Speaker 2: Maybe there's no reason why. Maybe she's just reaching it

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Speaker 2: at age.

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Speaker 4: She's yeah, she's eleven years old, like in middle school, right, you.

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Speaker 2: Get a little, a little rebellious around then.

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Speaker 4: Right, So I could see that, and I see like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: we want to spend some family time.

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Speaker 2: This is the time to do it.

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Speaker 4: Like, can we please just like rescheduled ice skating, spend

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Speaker 4: time with us instead.

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: She could have said that, She could have said that,

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Speaker 3: but it seems like Ashley's giving any a lot of crap.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't work right clothes.

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Speaker 4: I feel like that's almost a separate issue. That's just

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Speaker 4: more examples of her preteen stuff.

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Speaker 3: If you don't want to go with the ski trip,

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Speaker 3: you'd be like, you're not respecting your mother a lot.

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Speaker 3: This is a consequence. You don't get to go on

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Speaker 3: a ski trip if you don't respect your mother.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, editing to add the background to Amy and Ashley's relationship,

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Speaker 4: commented this elsewhere, a lot of it comes from Amy

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Speaker 4: trying very hard to be Ashley's friend, Amy was young

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Speaker 4: when she had Ashley, and she was quite isolated caring

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Speaker 4: for her while Hugo worked and went to UNI. He

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Speaker 4: was cut off by our parents at the time. She

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Speaker 4: threw all of her efforts into being a mom and

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Speaker 4: being as close Ashley as humanly possible. Ashley has explained

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Speaker 4: to me that this has become very suffocating for her.

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Speaker 4: She's trying to forge her own circle and feels like

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Speaker 4: Amy insists on being a part of it while also

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Speaker 4: refusing to engage.

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Speaker 2: With her on her level.

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Speaker 4: Interesting the second part is that my parents pay for

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Speaker 4: Ashley to attend a very prestigious private school. Hugo and

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Speaker 4: Amy are nowhere near as affluent as the other families,

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Speaker 4: and Ashley feels a bit left out. It's part of

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Speaker 4: the reason I have chipped in for some of her

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Speaker 4: extra curricular activities. But the fact is she doesn't always

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Speaker 4: feel like she fits in, which is hard for her.

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Speaker 4: Her school is full of non working range Rover Birken

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Speaker 4: mothers who are either cool or absent, and Amy is neither.

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Speaker 4: She's involved, but Ashley finds her stifling and doesn't want

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Speaker 4: her involved in her social life.

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Speaker 2: It's also my.

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Speaker 4: Opinion that Ashley is trying to get some emotional space

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Speaker 4: from her mother, and the only way that she knows

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Speaker 4: how by making her not want to spend time with her.

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Speaker 2: Dang.

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Speaker 4: Amy doesn't respond to her requests, so I think she's

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Speaker 4: just resorting to being mean to her, which obviously isn't okay.

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Speaker 4: Edit number two, since this is being asked a lot.

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Speaker 4: Ashley and I have talked since the dinner and she

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Speaker 4: knows that I think she shouldn't have said.

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Speaker 2: What she said.

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Speaker 4: We've even talked about it. Even she said she shouldn't

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Speaker 4: have said what she said. Did I go haam and

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Speaker 4: tell her she's entitled spoiled throw the kitchen.

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Speaker 2: Sink at her.

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Speaker 4: No, but she knows I think that she was wrong,

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Speaker 4: and she agrees. And there are some relevant comments. Comment

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Speaker 4: number one says, not the a whole. Not only will

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Speaker 4: Ashley prefer knowing the truth, but she will also feel

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Speaker 4: as though she can trust you because you are refusing

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Speaker 4: to lie to her.

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Speaker 2: That's a good point, honestly.

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Speaker 4: Also, Amy trying to trip you into lying by pulling

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Speaker 4: the if you actually care about Ashley rhetoric, it is

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Speaker 4: such an a whole move.

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Speaker 3: I'm kidding. This is not a very stable foundation for parenthood. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: let other people take the fall from me. I'm not

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Speaker 3: gonna write like responsibility for much. It seems like this

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Speaker 3: request shows in a lot of different ways in your

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Speaker 3: real life with your kid. That's why Ashley and Amy

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Speaker 3: are probably not on good terms.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I could see that.

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Speaker 4: I think what I was saying before, I could see

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Speaker 4: it being the kind of thing where it's like, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 4: we're just having a really hard time getting her to

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Speaker 4: like do this or do that or whatever. Can you

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Speaker 4: guys please, you know, make this up or like tell

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Speaker 4: her this to kind of make her on our side.

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Speaker 4: But I think if that made sense, I think that's

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Speaker 4: not really what the situation is. I feel like that

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Speaker 4: would be more so of like, you know, I don't know,

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Speaker 4: convincing them to eat their vegetables or something. You know,

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Speaker 4: you would ask O Pete to say something, maybe if

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Speaker 4: it's a lie that you love vegetables or something like that,

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Speaker 4: you know what I mean. I feel like that would

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Speaker 4: be more understandable. But I do think in this situation,

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Speaker 4: I see how it's like it was a little much. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: a little much. Not the right kind of situation, not

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Speaker 4: the right way to fix a awkward and uncomfortable relationship.

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Speaker 3: You're building it with toothpicks when it should be built

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Speaker 3: by four by fours.

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Speaker 2: There you go.

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Speaker 4: But comment number two not only that, but the girl

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Speaker 4: is eleven. That is developmentally when kids and girls especially

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Speaker 4: are supposed to be embarrassed by mom. When I was

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Speaker 4: that age, my mom was the most uncool person ever.

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Speaker 4: That lasted until like twenty and then I needed my

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Speaker 4: mommy again. This is how kids are supposed to be.

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Speaker 4: Comment number three says, while it's perfectly healthy routines to

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Speaker 4: have a phase where they find their parents so embarrassing.

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Speaker 2: They're not supposed to feel that way.

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Speaker 4: Comment number four. I think, though, that is how they're

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Speaker 4: supposed to feel. I mean a lot of them do anyway,

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Speaker 4: probably because they're growing up and trying to find themselves.

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Speaker 4: It's not a bad way to phrase it. Not everyone

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Speaker 4: does it, but a lot do. It's not a bad thing,

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Speaker 4: it's just how a lot of kids are.

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Speaker 2: Comment number five.

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Speaker 4: If Dave girls kids can find him embarrassing, I don't

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Speaker 4: think most parents stand a chance at not being embarrassing.

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Speaker 2: But there is a whole update.

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Speaker 3: Ashley and Amy get back together. They're all good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're all good.

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Speaker 4: I feel like they're gonna talk about it, and then

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Speaker 4: Amy's just gonna be like, you know what, You're right,

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Speaker 4: you need your space, you need your privacy, because that

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Speaker 4: is also, I'm sure an awkward stage for a parent too,

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Speaker 4: especially as their.

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Speaker 3: Girl becoming a woman.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but our update says, first of all, thank you

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Speaker 4: to everyone who responded. I received some really great advice

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Speaker 4: and some amazingly kind.

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Speaker 2: Messages, so thank you again.

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Speaker 4: I'm getting a lot of update requests, so here it

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Speaker 4: is to get this out of the way for everyone

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Speaker 4: who wants a quick update. Ashley did end up coming

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Speaker 4: on the ski trip. Why didn't Amy come on a

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Speaker 4: ski trip?

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Speaker 3: Why doesn't Amy and hugo It's probably like another few thousand,

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Speaker 3: a thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, skiing's expensive. Anyway.

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Speaker 4: We had a great time me, especially as my engagement

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Speaker 4: ring arrived and me and my boyfriend are now officially engaged.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, that's so cool. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: A lot of people suggested we all sit down to

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Speaker 4: discuss what's been going on, and we did. Ashley managed

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Speaker 4: to say a lot of what she's been saying to

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Speaker 4: me to Amy. The conversation boiled down to Ashley doesn't

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Speaker 4: want to as some mother, but she wants a mother,

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Speaker 4: not a friend. She wants a mom who drives her

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Speaker 4: to ice skating with her friends and sits in the

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Speaker 4: stands to supervise, not one who comes onto the ice with.

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Speaker 2: Them and to hang out. That's fair, She says.

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Speaker 4: She does sometimes feel awkward at school, but she manages

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Speaker 4: it most of the time until her mom is around,

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Speaker 4: and then she is reminded that she is different.

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Speaker 2: A lot more said, but this is the main gist.

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Speaker 4: As for Amy, it turns out she has a lot

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Speaker 4: of resentment towards our family and even towards Ashley. She

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Speaker 4: feels that it's not fair that me and my parents

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Speaker 4: focus so much on supporting Ashley rather than supporting Amy.

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Speaker 4: She said, instead of funding Ashley's education, my parents should

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Speaker 4: have offered to pay for her to attend university after

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Speaker 4: Ashley was born, or they should have done this instead

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Speaker 4: of clearing Hugo's student loan debt.

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Speaker 3: Is their money, right, Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. They

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Speaker 3: can choose how they bless their kids anyway they want.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I.

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Speaker 4: Think feeling that way is understandable and valid. I think

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Speaker 4: expressing that feeling not quite so much. Yeah, there is

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Speaker 4: a balance between that, you know, because again it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's a bummer. I wish I had the money to

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Speaker 4: do that too. However, I understand you're not parents.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yea, yeah.

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Speaker 4: She said, us caring about Ashley should have made us

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Speaker 4: like her more, but we all ignored her in favor

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Speaker 4: of her baby, and now even her kid was abandoning her. Dang,

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Speaker 4: that must suck to feel that way, even if she's

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Speaker 4: not right.

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Speaker 2: That must suck.

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Speaker 4: I won't comment on this other than to say we

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Speaker 4: were all shocked by what she said. That outcome of

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Speaker 4: the conversation was that Hugo and Amy decided never to

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Speaker 4: tell Ashley that they almost didn't let her go on.

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Speaker 2: The SKA trip.

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Speaker 4: Ashley will start seeing a therapist to talk about what's

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Speaker 4: been going on with her at home and school, and

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Speaker 4: bring her mother into some sessions if necessary. My parents

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Speaker 4: have offered to fund it if it's not feasible for

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Speaker 4: her parents to pay, but.

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Speaker 2: They're looking into it.

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Speaker 4: By the way, it's always feasible to join us live

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Speaker 4: on YouTube and Facebook and TikTok every.

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Speaker 2: Single week day three pm PSD. Just have my profo.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, there's a little bit more.

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Speaker 3: It seems like Amy some like weird pent up emotions

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Speaker 3: towards Hugo's family. Yeah, it's finally coming out now. That's

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Speaker 3: probably why Amy and yeah, he may have not been

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Speaker 3: super close.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well okay, so because they got.

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Speaker 3: Pregnant whenever Amy was like nineteen nineteen.

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Speaker 4: Well, yeah, Hugo was nineteen and we don't know how

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Speaker 4: old Amy is, but I'm assuming around the same age.

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Speaker 4: So that's young, and so I kind of get that

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Speaker 4: where it's like, I'm sure there's some emotions that you

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Speaker 4: don't really know how to handle, especially going into a

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Speaker 4: situation like that and so young. Yeah, there's some life

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Speaker 4: experience you haven't quite had yet, you know. So I

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Speaker 4: don't feel mad at Amy for feeling that way, you

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Speaker 4: know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I feel like it's understandable. Yeah, it's not good, but

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Speaker 2: we can work on it. Ashley said that Amy has

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Speaker 2: been giving her a lot more.

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Speaker 4: Space since she got home, and Hugo has been spending

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Speaker 4: more time with her and might start taking her writing

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Speaker 4: lessons with her. He played Polo as a teen for

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Speaker 4: them to bond more, doing something Ashley loves Overall, she

305
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,200
Speaker 4: seems a lot happier. Unfortunately, the things Amy said about

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Speaker 4: our family have caused some issues between her and Hugo.

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Speaker 4: Everyone is hoping that they can work through it, so

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Speaker 4: sort of an open ended up date.

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Speaker 2: But I'm really glad that.

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Speaker 4: Ashley finally got to have the conversation she needed and

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Speaker 4: that she seems to be doing very well, because really,

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Speaker 4: that is all I've ever been hoping for. Thank you

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00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,959
Speaker 4: again to everyone who took the time to comment. And

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Speaker 4: that is the end of that story. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 4: really think anyone's a hole. It would say she messed

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Speaker 4: up and made some mistakes, but it seems like she's

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Speaker 4: doing a good job. I just feel like her position

318
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Speaker 4: and the whole thing is very understandable.

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Speaker 3: My in laws assaulted my husband, so I confronted them.

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Speaker 3: Do wick confront them context? My thirty six female husband

321
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Speaker 3: thirty six male comes from a family of athletes. They

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Speaker 3: put him in boxing as a good He was talented,

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Speaker 3: but he suffered a lot from pressure from his family.

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Speaker 3: They wanted him to become a professional, but my husband

325
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Speaker 3: never wanted that. I feel like we're about to get

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Speaker 3: into a movie here.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like the origin story. We're getting flashbacks right now.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Frosty Nectar twenty six

329
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,839
Speaker 3: on the R Size Okay story Tom selbred in high school.

330
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Speaker 3: Things got worse for him as the school coaches were

331
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Speaker 3: brutal and the attention he received from promoters and outside

332
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,880
Speaker 3: coaches led to his family to put more pressure on him.

333
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,880
Speaker 3: The relationship with his family went south, not like the Paul.

334
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,720
Speaker 3: Then he informed them that he was going to a

335
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Speaker 3: university and giving up boxing for good. Not true the

336
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,040
Speaker 3: boxing part. I met him a month before we started

337
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,880
Speaker 3: high school and we've been together since. When he was thirty,

338
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,600
Speaker 3: his family contacted him to try to fix the relationship.

339
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,680
Speaker 3: The relationship is decent. The same with me now. We

340
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,800
Speaker 3: took our children on Sunday to visit them. Sister law

341
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,480
Speaker 3: and her husband were talking about one of my nephews

342
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,120
Speaker 3: learning to play the piano and that he is good

343
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Speaker 3: for his age. Then mother in law said, quote, be careful.

344
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Speaker 3: You don't want to encourage him only for him to

345
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Speaker 3: quit and ruin his life. As husband name. Yeah, you

346
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,600
Speaker 3: don't want to get like super excited and get really

347
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,160
Speaker 3: talented at being a pianist and then him just like

348
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Speaker 3: giving it all up. Be careful that could happen, I guess.

349
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Speaker 2: But like that, you gotta at least do something, you

350
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:54,600
Speaker 2: know what I mean?

351
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Speaker 4: Like that just sounds like, you know, don't try anything

352
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Speaker 4: because you might quit.

353
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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I me?

354
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Speaker 2: That's Cleveland were even sorry.

355
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Speaker 3: She got a little jab in there. I'm starting to

356
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,680
Speaker 3: see a little bit of a little fight about to

357
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:07,080
Speaker 3: happen there. It seemed like mother in law forgot I

358
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,320
Speaker 3: was there and they went silent. My husband was out

359
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,800
Speaker 3: buying some things with his father and his two brother

360
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,440
Speaker 3: in laws. I was calm and asked her how he

361
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,120
Speaker 3: ruined his life. His sister got involved and said that

362
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,680
Speaker 3: that's not what mother in law meant, and I wouldn't understand.

363
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:24,320
Speaker 3: I replied, No, I don't understand why you wanted to

364
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,960
Speaker 3: live through him, why you never listen to him, why

365
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,280
Speaker 3: you never accepted what he wanted, and why you never

366
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,400
Speaker 3: let him be, and why you think he ruined his life.

367
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,000
Speaker 3: I don't get it. If you think it's because I

368
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,200
Speaker 3: don't know how talented he was, you're wrong, because I

369
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,800
Speaker 3: was there even when you abandoned him. It wasn't for

370
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,080
Speaker 3: nothing that he got too scholarships and people were after

371
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,320
Speaker 3: him I'd understand if he didn't do anything with his life,

372
00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,120
Speaker 3: but that's not the case. He has a degree, an

373
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 3: amazing career, built two different businesses, is a great father

374
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,480
Speaker 3: and husband. He's more successful than all of you combined.

375
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,440
Speaker 3: Please tell me how he ruined his life or what

376
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,880
Speaker 3: part I don't understand. I got sign.

377
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,280
Speaker 2: That's right, get him op, get her.

378
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,080
Speaker 3: Mother in law went and then OPI went.

379
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,840
Speaker 2: Ooh yeah, knocked out.

380
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,360
Speaker 3: I took her children and left. I texted my husband

381
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,080
Speaker 3: that I was going home. He arrived shortly after and

382
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,960
Speaker 3: told him what happened. He's not mad, to be honest,

383
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,960
Speaker 3: this is the first time I heard this type of comment,

384
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 3: and I pretty much blew the relationship he has with

385
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,640
Speaker 3: his family and apparently also caused issues with the sister's

386
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,800
Speaker 3: husband because they had a different version of why my

387
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,680
Speaker 3: husband was estranged. It seems like this is the first

388
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,800
Speaker 3: time they tried to rekindle the relationship and she just

389
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:39,560
Speaker 3: blew it right up.

390
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,800
Speaker 2: Dang, not the way to do it. Not the way

391
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,080
Speaker 2: to do it. Update though, update, we got an update.

392
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,600
Speaker 3: I never expected this much attention. Sorry, blah blah blah

393
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,640
Speaker 3: blah blah. Want to give you a small update first

394
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,800
Speaker 3: of all, thank you for all of the kind words

395
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,840
Speaker 3: and the awards. I reacted on instinct and kind of

396
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,880
Speaker 3: regretted it, but my husband reassured me that it was fine.

397
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,200
Speaker 3: He would have done the same thing for me, which

398
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,480
Speaker 3: I know. He's all smiles every time I see him.

399
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,520
Speaker 3: I'm sorry for those who went through the same thing.

400
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,439
Speaker 3: I'm glad you left that horrible situation and that you

401
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,040
Speaker 3: are doing what you want. Good job. I should have

402
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,800
Speaker 3: been clearer. Mother in law says he's ruined his life

403
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,000
Speaker 3: because he wasted the chance to be recognized and famous,

404
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 3: something they always longed for and could achieve on their own.

405
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,320
Speaker 3: My husband stopped competing once he finished university, and not

406
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,879
Speaker 3: after high school. He had to do it so he

407
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:30,840
Speaker 3: could maintain his scholarship. The children weren't present when I exploded.

408
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,920
Speaker 3: They were outside playing. His sister lied to their husband

409
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,040
Speaker 3: about the reason why my husband was a strange They

410
00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:42,120
Speaker 3: put the blame entirely on him and downplayed what they did.

411
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 3: Day someone linked a story about a couple who was

412
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,920
Speaker 3: dealing with the after trauma and that it's heartbreaking. Injuries

413
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,520
Speaker 3: and trauma are two of the main reasons my husband

414
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:58,600
Speaker 3: never wanted to make boxing his career. Fortunately, he received

415
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,439
Speaker 3: minimal damage and he's a specialist once a year to

416
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,120
Speaker 3: make sure everything is fine. My husband says that over

417
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,040
Speaker 3: the years he felt something was off. He's not surprised

418
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,600
Speaker 3: they haven't changed their opinion of him, and that they

419
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,000
Speaker 3: were just faking it to gain access to our kids.

420
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,080
Speaker 3: I totally forgot about that. That's what happens a lot

421
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:18,080
Speaker 3: of the times. Yeah, they like get rid of a kid,

422
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,520
Speaker 3: and it's like, oh, you got grand babies come.

423
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:23,320
Speaker 2: Right right, Dang, that's crazy.

424
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,360
Speaker 4: That is hard though, with the like boxing thing, because

425
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 4: like have you seen those videos where it's like you

426
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,040
Speaker 4: see like a may fighters like at the beginning of

427
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,360
Speaker 4: their career and then like later in their career.

428
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:34,160
Speaker 2: And they're like not doing well at all, not.

429
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,560
Speaker 4: Putting full sentences together, they are not pronouncing their words right,

430
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,520
Speaker 4: things like that. So that makes absolute sense that you

431
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,639
Speaker 4: would not want that as your career. That's not just

432
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 4: giving up, you know, that's like you're saying to yourself.

433
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 3: They don't seem to get it, but they too. Early.

434
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,400
Speaker 3: Today we dropped the kids off at school. His sister's

435
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 3: husband was there and wanted to hear my husband's version.

436
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,440
Speaker 3: We went to breakfast and he told them everything. From

437
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,920
Speaker 3: their reaction, it was clear that their wives still downplaying

438
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 3: the whole thing. According to one of them, his wife

439
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,359
Speaker 3: is starting to display the same traits as mother in law.

440
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,679
Speaker 4: So yeah, interesting.

441
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:13,879
Speaker 3: We agreed to talk on Saturday to plan how we

442
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,439
Speaker 3: are going to move forward with our children. They go

443
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,919
Speaker 3: at the same school and they are very close. We

444
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 3: don't want to disrupt their relationship. As for his parents,

445
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 3: we are going to talk to them on Saturday and

446
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 3: let them know how their relationship with our children and

447
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:30,240
Speaker 3: with us is going to be from now on. Thanks

448
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 3: for you all again, and we got another update.

449
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 2: Another update, let's see it.

450
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 3: During the week, we talked to our kids and ask

451
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 3: them without being obvious, how they have been treated by

452
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 3: their grandparents. We got positive responses, They've been treated well.

453
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,440
Speaker 3: To be clear. We talked to everyone on Sunday without

454
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,320
Speaker 3: the kids and asked, and my husband was the one

455
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 3: who did the talking first. First it was to his parents.

456
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 3: They try to apologize, but my husband cut them short.

457
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 3: He said we weren't here for their apologies or explanation,

458
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,919
Speaker 3: but to talk about their new relationship with us. He

459
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 3: told them that we are no longer going to take

460
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,680
Speaker 3: the kids to their house anymore. They will have two

461
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 3: visits per month and will be supervised by us. They

462
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,120
Speaker 3: will be the ones who plan the ease and they

463
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:20,359
Speaker 3: will have to inform us with enough time that we

464
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 3: can approve them. The only time they will see the

465
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,520
Speaker 3: kids besides their two times is for birthdays and holidays

466
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 3: to keep their opinions of him or me to themselves.

467
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,359
Speaker 3: As the moment they run their mouths with their kids present,

468
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,920
Speaker 3: it will be the last time they will see them,

469
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,679
Speaker 3: and for us, we will be civil.

470
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 2: But that's it.

471
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,399
Speaker 3: Is that too harsh?

472
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so.

473
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 3: They agreed, and before we left they told us they

474
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:47,120
Speaker 3: were separating, to which my husband replied that he doesn't care.

475
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 3: The visits and rules are the same regardless of their

476
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 3: marital situation. We could split the visits to one each,

477
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,240
Speaker 3: or they could have two together, but that's up to them.

478
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 3: The vegetations will begin after their situation is resolved. So

479
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 3: we're like, oh, by the way, we're getting separated, trying

480
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 3: to figure it out. I feel like they were trying

481
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 3: to manipulate a little bit.

482
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:07,760
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be surprised.

483
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 3: Later that day, we visit his sisters and their husbands

484
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 3: all gathered in one house pretty much did the same drill,

485
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 3: but he listened to his sister. His sisters apologized and

486
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 3: told us they were going to therapy again. They asked

487
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 3: my husband if he was willing to go with them

488
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,679
Speaker 3: at some point, but he refused. He told them that

489
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,480
Speaker 3: their relationship is way too broken to men and he

490
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,400
Speaker 3: harbors no ill feelings towards them, and the only thing

491
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,879
Speaker 3: he will give them is common decency. That is good

492
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 3: that they are going back to therapy again, and hopes

493
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 3: they will take it seriously now because their kids and

494
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 3: husbands deserve better, and you deserve better. To join us

495
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 3: live every week at three pm where Angie.

496
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 4: On YouTube, on Facebook, on TikTok, are we even on Twitch.

497
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 3: We're on Twitch every weekday at three pm.

498
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,119
Speaker 2: Pece, that's right.

499
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 3: With that being said, he proposed that things will continue

500
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,199
Speaker 3: more or less the same. We take our kids to

501
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 3: their house or they bring theirs two hours, but the

502
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:06,119
Speaker 3: expectations of visits from his parents. We explained to them

503
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 3: to deal with my in laws, that my sisters and

504
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:11,919
Speaker 3: parents are willing to maintain the same relationship with the kids,

505
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 3: but not so much with them. Any comment from them

506
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 3: like the one his mother did, and everything will stop.

507
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 3: If they have another plan, we could work it out.

508
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 3: They all agreed with our plan for now. Everyone is

509
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 3: looking to keep things civil for the kids, which I

510
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,359
Speaker 3: think is a good thing. Anyways, my husband and I

511
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,360
Speaker 3: draw lines and we make sure they don't cross them.

512
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 3: That's the know that story. I like that. It's good

513
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 3: that they nipped it in the bud and didn't let

514
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 3: this continue, because that would have been so sad if

515
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 3: they got back into this family and they just kept

516
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 3: like braiding him.

517
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 2: Right right.

518
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 4: I'm glad that they like set some boundaries, made some

519
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 4: decisions that will, you know, make things better from now on.

520
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 4: They seem to just be handling it well, and I'm glad.

521
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 4: We've seen so many stories like that today. Yeah, people

522
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,719
Speaker 4: handling it well.

523
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,880
Speaker 3: I feel like the grandparents still got a little trick

524
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 3: of sleeve.

525
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, they got something hiding.

526
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 4: So that's the end of that story, right, So we'll

527
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 4: see for the next one. My mother in law wore

528
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 4: white at my wedding, so I humiliated her with pettiness.

529
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 5: Never wear white, never wear why.

530
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,360
Speaker 4: This happened a few years ago, but it's still brought

531
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,119
Speaker 4: up in family gatherings, so I'm wondering if I was wrong.

532
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 4: Stop in because it's a bit long, but I want

533
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,880
Speaker 4: to provide all the context. By the way, this comes

534
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,480
Speaker 4: from Unconscious Cup four seven two six on the r

535
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 4: slash Okay, storytime separate it. So my husband thirty five

536
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 4: male now and twenty eight male before, and I thirty

537
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 4: two female now and twenty five female before, have been

538
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 4: together for almost a decade now, but my relationship with

539
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 4: his mom has always been rocky from the start. My

540
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 4: mother in law let's call her Linda, made it clear

541
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 4: that she didn't think I was good enough for her son.

542
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 4: She would make sninde comments about my career, Oh, you're

543
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:56,479
Speaker 4: just a teacher.

544
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:57,679
Speaker 3: Just a teacher.

545
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 2: Teacher was a very respectable job, and my.

546
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 4: Looks your hair is unique, and even my cooking despite

547
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,120
Speaker 4: her barely being able to boil water. I've gotten comments

548
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 4: like that before, where it's like you dyed your hair

549
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 4: instead of like, oh, your hair looks so nice.

550
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 5: Like.

551
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 4: My husband always supported me, but he also didn't like confrontation,

552
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 4: so he often tried to smooth things over without fully

553
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 4: addressing her behavior. When we got engaged, Linda's antics went

554
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 4: into overdrive. She tried to hijack our wedding planning, claiming

555
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,120
Speaker 4: she knew what was best and that it was her

556
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 4: son's wedding too. At first, I tried to include her

557
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 4: in minor decisions to keep the peace, like helping pick

558
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 4: out flowers or giving input on cake favors, but she

559
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:39,400
Speaker 4: took that as a green light to.

560
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 2: Try and take control.

561
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:44,320
Speaker 4: She started calling vendors behind my back, suggesting changes, and

562
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 4: even attempted to add guests to the list without asking

563
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 4: me or my husband. The breaking point came a month

564
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 4: before the wedding. Linda called me in tears, saying she

565
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 4: hated the dress I picked out for the bride'smaids, a simple,

566
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 4: elegant navy blue, and demanded that they wear something more appropriate.

567
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 2: This is the picture of for reference. I took this.

568
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 4: Picture from Pinterest and hired someone to make the dress,

569
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,720
Speaker 4: and thankfully, my bridesmaid loved it. I even told them

570
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 4: that they could add any extra fabric or change how

571
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 4: it looks to their liking, just keep it.

572
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:12,440
Speaker 2: The same color.

573
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 4: When I calmly explained that the decision had already been

574
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 4: made and that the bridesmaids all loved their dresses mother

575
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 4: in law snapped, saying, well, if you won't listen to me,

576
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 4: maybe I won't even bother coming. I told her that

577
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 4: that was her choice and hung up. Fast forward to

578
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,399
Speaker 4: the wedding day. I was nervous but excited, trying to

579
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,719
Speaker 4: focus on the joy of marrying the love of my life.

580
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 4: As I was getting ready, my maid of honor came

581
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,199
Speaker 4: rushing in and teld me that Linda had shown up in.

582
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 2: A long white gown.

583
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:41,160
Speaker 4: A white gown she came in, and a white gown,

584
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 4: not off white, not cream, straight up bridle white. I

585
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 4: felt my blood boil, but I didn't want to cause

586
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 4: a scene or let her ruin my day, so I

587
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 4: took a deep breath and came up with a plan.

588
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 4: I pulled my photographer aside and asked them to take

589
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 4: extra pictures of Linda throughout the day, group shots, candids,

590
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 4: you name it. Anytime someone asked me about her dress,

591
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 4: I'd smile sweetly and say, isn't it amazing how confident

592
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 4: she feels on that outfit? That is.

593
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,119
Speaker 2: That is so funny. Oh, I'm just so glad you

594
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 2: just feel so confident. Dude, that's like a mean girl's

595
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 2: a mean girl's response, But.

596
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,640
Speaker 4: Like sligh, not everyone would have the guts to wear

597
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 4: something so bold to a wedding.

598
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 2: I hate it when people are like.

599
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 4: Passive aggressive in real life, like the people that I know,

600
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 4: But hearing stories about it is like, oh my god,

601
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 4: it's so entertaining, it so entertaining. I even made sure

602
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 4: to compliment her loudly in front of other guests, saying

603
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 4: things like, Linda looks so radiant today. Doesn't she remind

604
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 4: you of a bride? She couldn't exactly calm me out

605
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 4: without looking ridiculous. Here's what you do, opie, if you

606
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,639
Speaker 4: want her dress to be a different color, red wine,

607
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 4: red wine, spill it all over, Spill it over the

608
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 4: whole thing, and you got a beautiful wine colored dress.

609
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 2: Later during the speech is my mate of honor?

610
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,239
Speaker 4: Accidentally, you mentioned how she admired my mother in law

611
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 4: for wearing white. Because it takes so much courage to

612
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 4: make a statement like that at someone else's wedding.

613
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,439
Speaker 2: I love hearing about this pettiness.

614
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 4: Linda's face turned redder than the roses in this centerpieces.

615
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

616
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 2: Give me pop guard. This is so entertaining.

617
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 4: Here's the kicker I had the photographer include a special

618
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 4: section in our wedding album titled Linda's a Big Day?

619
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,360
Speaker 3: Have we crossed the line here where we should probably

620
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,120
Speaker 3: stop and say, hey, are we doing too much?

621
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 4: I think we definitely have. But I'm so glad that

622
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,959
Speaker 4: this is in the story. If we're actually talking, if

623
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,200
Speaker 4: I'm actually looking to give advice to people, don't do that.

624
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 2: That's mean. I think she gets it at assert.

625
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 3: But people who are whining to other people's weddings always

626
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 3: get the worst that could ever come to them.

627
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 2: Yeah.

628
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 4: But I mean, also, though, should she have just known

629
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 4: that that was coming, especially with how annoying she's been.

630
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,199
Speaker 3: Out her PHO photographer to do Linda's Big Day? Oh

631
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 3: my gosh, Nanna's geting everything she deserves. But for you

632
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 3: paying a paid professional to do that, That's.

633
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,679
Speaker 4: What I'm like, all right, Yeah, I feel like at

634
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 4: a certain point, it's possible to let that situation overpower

635
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 4: what you should be feeling on that day, Like it

636
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 4: should at a certain point.

637
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 3: To spare I'm dunk on this mother in law, Yeah.

638
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 4: Because then you're just making it into like a huge

639
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 4: deal when you could be making it into a smaller

640
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 4: deal by just ignoring it.

641
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 2: I mean, like whatever, she's crazy to yourself. But if

642
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 2: you're just like.

643
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 4: Oh, and then Linda over here, it looks so beautiful,

644
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 4: it's almost like it's her wedding day.

645
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 2: Oh, Linda's big day. If you keep.

646
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 4: Bringing that up, that definitely is going to just be

647
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 4: what you remember from your wedding day.

648
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 2: And you don't want that. So she had the wedding

649
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 2: album titled Linda's Big Day.

650
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 4: Was filled with all the photos of her in her

651
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 4: white dress. I made sure to send her a copy,

652
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 4: as I think you gift. It's been years, but Linda

653
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 4: still complains that I embarrassed her on purpose and made

654
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 4: her look bad. She claims I should have told her

655
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 4: directly to change instead of playing games.

656
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 2: You know what, that is fair. I will say that some.

657
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 4: Family members agree with her and think I was petty,

658
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 4: but others say she deserved it. My husband is firmly

659
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:09,040
Speaker 4: on my side and says I handled it better than

660
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 4: he would have. So am I the ahole for being

661
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 4: petty and putting my mother in law in her place

662
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 4: at my wedding?

663
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 2: What do you think? Did I take it too far?

664
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 2: Or was Linda asking for it? And there is an update,

665
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 2: but let's answer those questions.

666
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,800
Speaker 3: Back that the husband said, you handled it better than

667
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 3: I would have.

668
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, what was the husband going to do? Yeah, because

669
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 2: that's crazy.

670
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 3: She's probably gonna like make her dress red wine and

671
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 3: then keep her face in red.

672
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 4: Wine instead of smashing the cake into each other's face.

673
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 4: She like, they're both standing there, go smash the cake

674
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 4: in their faces, and then he just turns. He's like, oh,

675
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 4: and then he turns and goes, oh, he like does

676
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 4: the Alice from Twilight cake where he like kicks his

677
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 4: foot in the air and then pitches the cake right

678
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 4: at the face.

679
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 2: That's what I think he would have done. Anyway, So

680
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 2: back to these questions.

681
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 4: Back to these questions, So listen as a viewer, as

682
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 4: a reader, I think this is great TV.

683
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 2: You know, I think this is a great story.

684
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 4: However, if I were your friend, I would say, Okay,

685
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 4: we can take it a chow bill.

686
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 2: We don't have to be petty.

687
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 4: Pettiness and passive aggressiveness is never, ever, ever the right

688
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 4: way to respond to something. If you have a problem,

689
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 4: you have to talk to them in person and straightaway.

690
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 2: And also, again, like we said before, you don't want

691
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 2: to make this the thing that you remember from your

692
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 2: wedding day.

693
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 3: You know that is true.

694
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 2: So there's an update.

695
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 4: Okay, So after my original post about the wedding fiasco,

696
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 4: I got a lot of feedback, so let me give

697
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 4: some updates. My bestie, who was the maid of honor

698
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 4: and a few bridesmaids, saw my previous posts and wanted

699
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 4: me to spill the hot tea about what happened during

700
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 4: the bridesmaids dress fiasco with the mother in law. Honestly,

701
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 4: I was dying to share this, but I just thought

702
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 4: it would be too long on the first post, so

703
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 4: I shortened it. Anyways, let's get into it previous context.

704
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 4: A month before the wedding, my mother in law called

705
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 4: me crying about how she hated the dresses I picked

706
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 4: for the bridesmaids. At first, I thought it was a

707
00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 4: let's calm down situation, so I invited her over to

708
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,480
Speaker 4: my house to talk it through, thinking that we could compromise.

709
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 4: I had my bridesmaids over at the same time, and

710
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 4: the plan was to let them try on their dresses

711
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 4: so that Linda could see them in person and hopefully

712
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 4: back off. The dresses had already been handmade by the

713
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 4: person I paid for so I can't really return it. Anyways,

714
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 4: the day came, and I should have known things would

715
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 4: get messy. We were all sitting in my living room,

716
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 4: the bridesmaids in their dresses, my mother in law looking

717
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 4: like she was sucking on a lemon.

718
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 2: The entire time.

719
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 4: She barely spoke as the girls twirled around showing off

720
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 4: their dresses, but I could see the gears turning in

721
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 4: her head. Finally, she broke the silence with a sigh

722
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 4: so dramatic it could have been a stage performance. Also,

723
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 4: the conversation I wrote in here is from a security

724
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 4: camera I had in the house. Yes, I should have

725
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 4: just shared the video, but unfortunately I had some technical issues. Nevertheless,

726
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 4: I wrote exactly what happened during the interaction. Linda said,

727
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 4: I just don't understand why you chose this color navy.

728
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 2: It's so dark. I thought you wanted something more, more elegant,

729
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 2: more memorable.

730
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 4: At that point, one of my bridesmaids chimed in and

731
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 4: trying to ease the tension. Bridesmaid one said, but we

732
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 4: all love them, Linda, and the navy really brings out

733
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 4: our eyes, don't you think. Linda said, Well, that's all

734
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 4: well and good but I just think you could have

735
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 4: done better. I was thinking more along the lines of

736
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 4: a soft blush, maybe light and beautiful like my dress. Oooh,

737
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,479
Speaker 4: Linda's just she just wants confirmation that her dress is pretty.

738
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 4: She took out a dress that had made up my

739
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:40,959
Speaker 4: jaw drop. Instead of a soft blush like dress, it

740
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 4: had a turtleneck and was backless.

741
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 2: She wanted to.

742
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 4: Wear that dress to my wedding, so they knew that

743
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 4: she was gonna wear like a white dress beforehand. Heck, nah,

744
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 4: never wear white to a wedding, are you stupid?

745
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: That was it. I had enough.

746
00:32:57,880 --> 00:32:59,479
Speaker 4: I stood up from where I was sitting with her

747
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 4: dead in the and without missing a beat, I said, Linda,

748
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 4: I don't think anyone here is wearing a blush gown,

749
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 4: especially you in a white dress at a wedding. But

750
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 4: nice try you want elegance. Here's the thing. My bridesmaid

751
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 4: love their dresses and they look stunning. It's not your wedding,

752
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 4: and honestly, I don't care what you think about the color.

753
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 4: You can either support me or you can sit back

754
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 4: and watch from the sidelines. But let's not pretend like

755
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 4: you know better. Mike drop boom, that's actually kind of insane.

756
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 4: We got a positive for a second. There's still more,

757
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 4: but that's just crazy. Yeah, that's a big line. At first,

758
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 4: I'm like, m, you know what I mean, A little

759
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 4: past aggressively. You just kept going dude. She really did,

760
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 4: same as the other ones. I'm meeting this up as

761
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 4: a viewer. However, if I was your.

762
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 2: Friending there, I would be so uncomfortable. I'd be like, ee,

763
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 2: maybe be nicer about the situation.

764
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 3: The husband still again was like you were did this

765
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 3: way better than I would have.

766
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 4: There was a stunned silence. My bridesmaids were visibly holding

767
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 4: back laughs, and Linda's face went from pale to a

768
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 4: shade of red that matched her lipstick.

769
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 2: She opened her mouth to say something, but I wasn't

770
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 2: finished me.

771
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 4: I said, and just so we're clear, these dresses aren't

772
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 4: about you or your taste. They're about the girls who

773
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 4: are supporting me on the most important day of my life.

774
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 4: If you think that you can stroll in and tell

775
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 4: me how to run my wedding, you are gravely mistaken.

776
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,360
Speaker 4: I could see Linda's pride take a hit, but she

777
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 4: was still trying to recover.

778
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 2: Linda. I was just suggesting.

779
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 4: I respond, yeah, and your suggestions are noted, but they're

780
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 4: also irrelevant.

781
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 2: You had your day, Linda, this is mine. At that point,

782
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 2: she opened her phone and I could see her scrolling

783
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 2: to call my husband. My bridesmaids and I just sat

784
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,399
Speaker 2: there exchanging looks. We all knew what was coming. Dun

785
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 2: du't don't.

786
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,800
Speaker 4: A few minutes later, my husband, who had been quietly

787
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,399
Speaker 4: listening from the phone call I actually had with him.

788
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 4: He heard everything through the phone and it was clear

789
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 4: that he wasn't happy. He picked up the call where

790
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 4: Linda was trying to call him. On the phone, the

791
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 4: husband said, Mom, I heard everything. I really think you

792
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 4: need to sit this one out. There's no hold mag

793
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 4: on her. She's not gonna let you go. You just

794
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 4: gotta take it and run and run away. He continued

795
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,920
Speaker 4: and said, you've already made enough noise about the wedding.

796
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,959
Speaker 4: We're happy and we've made our decisions. If you can't

797
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 4: respect that, I don't think we need to continue this

798
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,360
Speaker 4: conversation Linda.

799
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 2: But the husband, no, I'm not hearing it. I'm done.

800
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 4: If you want to keep causing drama, do it on

801
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,279
Speaker 4: your own time. I'm done listening to you. Linda was

802
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 4: completely caught off guard. She hung up and tried to

803
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 4: act like nothing happened, but by then we were all

804
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 4: over it.

805
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 2: The mood was completely deflated, and my mother in law

806
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 2: ended up leaving early, sulking the entire way out. But

807
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 2: you can never make enough noise about joining us live.

808
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 3: On where Riley, YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and.

809
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 2: Twitch And what do they have to do to join us?

810
00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 3: Click our profile around three pmpst.

811
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, every weekday, right, that's right, that's why we're probably

812
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 4: even live right now, get a shot after we finished

813
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 4: the story, because there is more. Okay, but let's talk

814
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 4: about that little conversation really quick, because that was.

815
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 3: She's going after for the throat.

816
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

817
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 4: It was honestly a moment of pure victory for me,

818
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,800
Speaker 4: though I have to admit it, the pettiness felt pretty great.

819
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 2: Afterward.

820
00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 4: My husband apologized for not handling things sooner, but I

821
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 4: reassured him that it wasn't his fault. He always has

822
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,800
Speaker 4: been supportive, but I need to take control.

823
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:29,240
Speaker 2: Of that situation.

824
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 4: So after everything that happened, I still stand by what

825
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 4: I did. But now that I've given you the full story,

826
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 4: do you think I went too far with my response

827
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 4: or was I right to shut her down and make

828
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:41,280
Speaker 4: my point?

829
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 2: That's the end of the story.

830
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 1: First of all, Hey, it's Sam your og host here.

831
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

832
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

833
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 2: Our friends are getting married, but only my boyfriend is

834
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 2: invited to the wedding. That's Bessie.

835
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 5: That doesn't sound like it's gonna lead to any sort

836
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 5: of m bad situations. Bro.

837
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 2: Hey, because I've had my main for long enough that

838
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 2: it's not as anonymous as it could be, and I

839
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 2: would like to remain so as much as possible here.

840
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 2: So for context, I twenty three female, have known this

841
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,320
Speaker 2: guy twenty four male. I guess i'll call him Roger

842
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,880
Speaker 2: for six years now. He and I were put in

843
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 2: a musical ensemble together our first year of college and

844
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,879
Speaker 2: we stayed in it for four years. By the way,

845
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 2: this comes from Lepper Brilliant fifty three eighty five on

846
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 2: the Okay story. Dem subreed it. This group is also

847
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 2: where I met my boyfriend twenty four male, and where

848
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:34,399
Speaker 2: my boyfriend met Roger. Also, there were a couple other

849
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 2: guys in the group and we were all and have

850
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 2: remained pretty good friends, especially since the other four, including

851
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 2: my boyfriend, are in a band together. I wasn't excluded

852
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,920
Speaker 2: from this group. I just really wasn't interested in this

853
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 2: time commitment, so I declined to join when they started out.

854
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 2: They have actually become pretty well known in our local scene.

855
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,880
Speaker 2: They're a really talented group. Anyways, onto the current situation.

856
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 2: Roger has been with his fiance twenty time to female

857
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 2: since before I met him, and when she came to

858
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 2: the same school we were in, all the rest of

859
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 2: us in the group became pretty friendly with her. I

860
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 2: wouldn't really consider her a friend. We have no beef

861
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 2: as far as I'm aware. We just aren't really close

862
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 2: and we only really talk at shows. I do like her, though,

863
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 2: and we always make a point of saying hi to

864
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,360
Speaker 2: each other when we see each other and having a

865
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 2: friendly chat. So my boyfriend and I have known these

866
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:27,799
Speaker 2: guys literally the same amount of time. We spent all

867
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,280
Speaker 2: of college with Roger seeing each other at least twice

868
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,959
Speaker 2: a week for this group, although it was usually much more,

869
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 2: and we still hang out with them sometimes outside of

870
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 2: the band scene. So Roger is getting married to his

871
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 2: fiance this summer. I of course wis. I of course

872
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 2: wished them both congratulations. When I heard the news of

873
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,319
Speaker 2: their engagement a couple months ago, we got the save

874
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 2: the date and the mail it was addressed to only

875
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 2: my boyfriend, which I thought was a bit odd, but

876
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 2: it was the only save the date. But it was

877
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 2: only the save of the date, so I didn't really

878
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 2: think much of it. On the fridge. Well, last week

879
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 2: the wedding invite came. It was again addressed to just

880
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:10,320
Speaker 2: my boyfriend. We opened it and there was no indication

881
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 2: of even a plus one or anything, which I really

882
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 2: don't think I should be a plus one for my boyfriend.

883
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 2: I feel I should be invited on my own merit.

884
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 2: That is regardless. I think even if you don't really

885
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 2: like her, you can't not invite this person that you've

886
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 2: known for the same amount of time as the boyfriend,

887
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 2: or at least, you know, like, at least give them

888
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 2: a plus one.

889
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,400
Speaker 5: This person, if they're going out of their way to

890
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:36,319
Speaker 5: cause a problem, Yeah, there's no way they're not.

891
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just messy.

892
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 5: This is going to cause a problem.

893
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 2: This is just messy. My boyfriend said that maybe they

894
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: just addressed it to him because we live together. But like,

895
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 2: that's exactly That's exactly my point, right. We live together,

896
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 2: so it's for both of us. It should be addressed

897
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 2: to both of us. Otherwise I assume male addressed to

898
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 2: him is his. I'm honestly incredibly hurt by this. I

899
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,880
Speaker 2: guess it's fine if they don't really see us as friends,

900
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 2: but I still feel like the fact that they know

901
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 2: my boyfriend and I both live here and they know

902
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 2: I'm expecting to be invited, seeing as everyone else from

903
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 2: this old group is making this feel like a real

904
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 2: is making this feel like a real punch in the gut.

905
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 2: So I guess my question is twofold, Actually, am I

906
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 2: the a hole for being offended by this in the

907
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 2: first place? And would I be the a hole if

908
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 2: I asked them why I wasn't invited? And there is

909
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 2: an update? But what do you think about those last

910
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 2: two questions?

911
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 5: I think in terms of being the ahole of being

912
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 5: offended that like you weren't on the I think given

913
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 5: the context it's a wedding, Yeah, I think that makes sense.

914
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 4: Right.

915
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 5: It's like, if you're going to send the invitation here,

916
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 5: you why isn't both of our names on it? It's

917
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:47,879
Speaker 5: like why would It's like a sublit It's like you're

918
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 5: you're being so unclear, but it's almost like it's like

919
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 5: you're trying to do it, Like are you being unclear

920
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 5: by accident? Are you trying to make a point of

921
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 5: telling me like I don't want you there? It's like

922
00:40:58,040 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 5: it feels very weird.

923
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 2: I used it to previously asked about the situation on

924
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 2: am I the a Whole a couple months back. But

925
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,799
Speaker 2: as the event is approaching, my fiance is starting to

926
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,399
Speaker 2: make me question if I'm actually reading the situation right,

927
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 2: and I just would really like to get some other

928
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:16,760
Speaker 2: takes on the situation. So to summarize my previous post,

929
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 2: we have friends unsure on that one getting married this weekend.

930
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 2: The question of my last post was about the fact

931
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:23,719
Speaker 2: that my name was not on the invitation that was

932
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 2: sent to my fiances and my apartment. My fiance and

933
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 2: I met each other at the same time as we

934
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,279
Speaker 2: met the groom, and we got together about a year

935
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 2: and some change later. We worked pretty closely in a

936
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 2: musical group throughout school, and then my fiance and the

937
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:41,319
Speaker 2: other members of that group decided to continue and form

938
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,759
Speaker 2: their own band. I was not excluded from this just

939
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 2: was not particularly interested in the time commitment, and I

940
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 2: don't regret that decision because they are busy m efforts.

941
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 2: But being that my fiance and I are still together,

942
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 2: I still see the groom and his bride to be

943
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 2: quite often. We've never had any beef as far as

944
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 2: I know, and we always have friendly conversation and say

945
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,560
Speaker 2: hello to each other, like each other's stuff on Instagram

946
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 2: and whatnot. Given the background of our relationship and the

947
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 2: fact that my fiance and I have lived together for

948
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:14,480
Speaker 2: three years and they sent the invitation to the apartment

949
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 2: that we share, the fact that my name was not

950
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 2: on the invitation sins to me that I am not invited.

951
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 2: My fiance kept trying to say, like, oh, maybe they

952
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 2: didn't know they were supposed to put your name on

953
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,239
Speaker 2: it too, or insisting it was a mistake because maybe

954
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 2: someone else wrote the invites, to which I told them

955
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 2: they would have written the invites based on the names

956
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 2: they were given. I asked if I would be the

957
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:38,280
Speaker 2: a hole if I asked them why I wasn't invited,

958
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 2: to which I was told I would be, and I

959
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 2: was probably right. I wasn't invited. Oh by Reddit what.

960
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:47,760
Speaker 2: I don't think you would be the a hole dude.

961
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 5: It's like, that's why sometimes people who are just like

962
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 5: chronically online like don't remember that you can just ask

963
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:55,280
Speaker 5: people questions and have a conversation.

964
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just like, no, you know.

965
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 5: You're not invited, And that's probably because and it's like

966
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:03,439
Speaker 5: just ask.

967
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 2: It's not that big a deal. Though others did agree

968
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,840
Speaker 2: on how insanely rude it was of them, I accepted

969
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,839
Speaker 2: that answer, and while I still feel the whole thing

970
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,439
Speaker 2: was rude, I've let it go and I don't plan

971
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 2: to talk badly about them or to them or cause

972
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 2: any drama because it's up to them who's at their wedding.

973
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 2: They won't be at mine. My fiance accepted I was

974
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 2: right about the situation after another person from this group

975
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,400
Speaker 2: also recently sent out Save the Dates for his wedding

976
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 2: and both our names were on the invite, and I

977
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,000
Speaker 2: pointed out to him a month before, we'd received an

978
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,879
Speaker 2: invite from one of my fiance's friends i'd only met

979
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 2: a couple times, and both of our names were on

980
00:43:39,239 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 2: the invite. But I digress. The purpose for today's post

981
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,320
Speaker 2: is that the wedding is this weekend. For some reason,

982
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 2: my fiance keeps asking me if I'm going. Apparently he

983
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,239
Speaker 2: asked the groom and he was told verbally that I'm invited,

984
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 2: But given the fact that my name was not on

985
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 2: the invitation, nor was it on the save of the

986
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:01,399
Speaker 2: date we received earlier, I really can't just go off

987
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 2: of that as enough evidence that I am welcome there.

988
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 5: Well, I think they ken.

989
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:07,759
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think you can have a conversation.

990
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,919
Speaker 2: Then if your partner literally asked, say like was like, hey,

991
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 2: you know, is she invited and they said yes, I

992
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 2: think you could definitely have a conversation with them now

993
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 2: and be like, hey, just like was wondering why it

994
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 2: wasn't on the invite, and maybe they'll say like, oh,

995
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:22,879
Speaker 2: we just like didn't even think did he ask though?

996
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 2: Is or is he just saying that because why like that?

997
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 5: I don't know. I don't know. I don't I don't understand.

998
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 5: The resists. As soon as I would have heard like, oh, yeah,

999
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 5: I talked to the groom and he said that you're invited,

1000
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 5: of course she can come, I'd be like, okay, yeah,

1001
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 5: that'd be it's problem over.

1002
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,560
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, but I don't know I think maybe

1003
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 2: all of these Reddit people have gone in Topy's head. Yeah, true, probably.

1004
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 2: I really believe that if I was invited after my

1005
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,719
Speaker 2: fiance asked why my name wasn't on the invitation, one

1006
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:52,680
Speaker 2: of them should have reached out directly to me. If

1007
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 2: they are actually expecting me to show up, that is true,

1008
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 2: That that is true, definitely true. I think if someone

1009
00:44:58,000 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 2: like someone reached out to me and was like, hey,

1010
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 2: like my partner invited, and I was like, oh my god,

1011
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 2: of course, like I didn't even I'm so sorry, I

1012
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 2: didn't even think that is true. Yeah, but they haven't.

1013
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 2: And for some reason, my fiance believes they're expecting me

1014
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:11,879
Speaker 2: to be there, and he keeps saying he doesn't want

1015
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:14,200
Speaker 2: to have to explain to people why I'm not there,

1016
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 2: and I keep telling him there isn't anything to explain.

1017
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 2: I wasn't invited. But here's where I'm conflicted. I truly

1018
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 2: do not want to start drama surrounding their wedding. I

1019
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 2: respect their decision not to invite me if that's how

1020
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 2: they want their day to be. I don't think anyone

1021
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 2: should ever have to invite someone to their wedding that

1022
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:35,760
Speaker 2: they don't want to, but I also am fully aware

1023
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 2: that there are going to be several people there who

1024
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,320
Speaker 2: are close to my fiance and I as a couple,

1025
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 2: who are going to wonder why I'm not there, and

1026
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 2: it may cause a fuss if anyone asks the Briting

1027
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 2: room directly, which I realize may come off as main

1028
00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:53,080
Speaker 2: character syndrome. And I don't really think people will be

1029
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 2: that concerned about where I am, but my fiance and

1030
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 2: I go everywhere together, so my absence will definitely be

1031
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:03,319
Speaker 2: noticed by our friends, and some of them aren't good

1032
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 2: at knowing when to just let things be, and so

1033
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:09,399
Speaker 2: I genuinely have no idea what to do. Here here

1034
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,319
Speaker 2: are the options I can see right now. Number one,

1035
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:15,839
Speaker 2: take my fiance's word as it is that they do

1036
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 2: want me there despite everything saying the opposite, and show up,

1037
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 2: risking being unwelcome and possibly upsetting them on their wedding day.

1038
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 2: Don't go. Number two. Come up with a fake story

1039
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 2: for my fiance to tell everyone so that nobody will

1040
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,359
Speaker 2: try to go poke in for gossip. Number three, don't go.

1041
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 2: Tell my fiance to either just state the truth that

1042
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 2: I wasn't invited, or he can come up with the

1043
00:46:36,719 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 2: story on his own. If he's not comfortable with.

1044
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 5: That, what how is there not a fourth option where

1045
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,440
Speaker 5: you talk to them, ask my ask a question.

1046
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:46,360
Speaker 2: I think we could communicate a little bit more.

1047
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 5: You could literally solve this entire mystery with one sentence

1048
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 5: on a phone call.

1049
00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 2: Hey, am I invited to your wedding? Yeah? Done? Done? Yes?

1050
00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 3: Or no?

1051
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 2: Right there? Then you figured it out. I'm leaning towards

1052
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 2: option three, which honestly does feel kind of petty. And

1053
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 2: my reasoning is that they didn't want If they didn't

1054
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 2: want people to ask why I'm not there, they should

1055
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,880
Speaker 2: have invited me to be there. I'm sorry.

1056
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:11,880
Speaker 5: It's just funny that it was like, after being like,

1057
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 5: you could do this with one sentence, She's like, and

1058
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 5: I'm gonna pick the most complicated problem.

1059
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,399
Speaker 2: Definitely is a bit petty, But I just don't see

1060
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 2: why I should lie for them when they don't even

1061
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 2: respect me as my fiance's long term partner who they

1062
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 2: have spent many years getting to know, let alone is

1063
00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:30,920
Speaker 2: a friend to them. What do you guys think? Is

1064
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:32,879
Speaker 2: there another option here where I don't feel like I'm

1065
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,760
Speaker 2: being a doormat while also avoiding coming across as an ahole?

1066
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 2: Why the vision? Why is it?

1067
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 5: Like we're at a point now so people think that

1068
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 5: just asking a question yeah is like the worst. Why

1069
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 5: are you doing It's like people are so frozen. Yeah,

1070
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 5: Like I don't want to be perceived this way. It's like,

1071
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:51,240
Speaker 5: just move with the energy that you want to move with.

1072
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:52,920
Speaker 2: Like you don't, You're not gonna be an ahole if

1073
00:47:52,960 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 2: you're coming from like a just a curiosity, right. Also,

1074
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:58,960
Speaker 2: there is one detail I couldn't figure out where to

1075
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,800
Speaker 2: fit in here. But when we initially received the invitation

1076
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,320
Speaker 2: the second envelope for the wedding addressed to just my fiance,

1077
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:07,359
Speaker 2: I talked to a friend of mine about it who

1078
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 2: vaguely knows who the couple is, because I wanted to

1079
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:11,879
Speaker 2: ask someone who wouldn't bring it up to them if

1080
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,280
Speaker 2: I was overreacting. And she ended up telling me last

1081
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,439
Speaker 2: month that she found out a different friend of hers,

1082
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 2: who was really good friends with the bride all through

1083
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 2: school and thought they were friends, was also not invited.

1084
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 5: Okay, the plot thickens here, Hikes, what's going on?

1085
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 2: Is she is she burning bridges?

1086
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:29,400
Speaker 5: Lets nse bridges?

1087
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 2: Yeah? What happened? I don't know if that makes much

1088
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,359
Speaker 2: difference in the overall take of the situation, but it

1089
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:35,400
Speaker 2: does seem relevant.

1090
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:36,359
Speaker 5: Edit.

1091
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:38,880
Speaker 2: If you aren't going to read the post, don't comment.

1092
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:41,759
Speaker 2: I wanted to ask them for clarification, but since I've

1093
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 2: never been in this position before, I wanted to ask

1094
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 2: others who maybe have more experience with weddings, how I

1095
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,520
Speaker 2: should ask. Everyone said that I would be an absolute

1096
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:54,279
Speaker 2: ale for even considering asking it's their wedding, as it's

1097
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:57,359
Speaker 2: their wedding and it is obvious I'm not invited, and

1098
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 2: putting them in that position to have to tell me

1099
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 2: to my face would be wrong. I but again, I

1100
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 2: think it's okay.

1101
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, that all of that is if you're genuinely confused.

1102
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:11,880
Speaker 2: It's okay to like ask for clarification.

1103
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,919
Speaker 5: And if they already didn't invite you, guess what, they're

1104
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 5: not gonna feel bad about telling you again.

1105
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 2: No, they're gonna be like, yeah, we like had a

1106
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 2: small wedding, we couldn't fit it.

1107
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,239
Speaker 5: They'll say something like that, Dude, imagine that's just all

1108
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 5: this is. Yeah, this is just like, oh, we just

1109
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 5: didn't have enough space, and all it would take is

1110
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 5: one phone call.

1111
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:32,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, instead of getting mad at me for asking for

1112
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 2: advice on handling this situation. You should have joined in

1113
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 2: the first time I asked, and then maybe the reaction

1114
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 2: you would have received would demonstrate to you why I

1115
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 2: thought it was inappropriate to ask. Now like calling out redditors.

1116
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 5: She's just calling out redditors. But also it's like, no

1117
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,879
Speaker 5: call out yourself. Come on, opee, take a little responsibility

1118
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 5: edit too.

1119
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 2: Also, I apologize that previous post I mentioned isn't anywhere

1120
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:54,360
Speaker 2: to be found. Thank you to everyone who had actual

1121
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 2: advice and helped me figure out the right decision to meet.

1122
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 2: To everyone who's been super condescending about me not asking them,

1123
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 2: how would you feel if you didn't invite someone to

1124
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 2: your wedding and they confronted you about it. I get

1125
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 2: you should be upfront with them, but some people just

1126
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:07,799
Speaker 2: don't want to risk the drama. And I guess that's

1127
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 2: fine too. It's their day. It's not really my place

1128
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:12,839
Speaker 2: to kick up a fuss about it. If it turns

1129
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:14,760
Speaker 2: out that it was a mistake, then they can explain

1130
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 2: that to me and we can laugh about it and

1131
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:19,360
Speaker 2: move on. But if I am in fact right, it

1132
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 2: would be really crappy to them to make a fuss

1133
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 2: about it. When the day has nothing to do with me.

1134
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:27,280
Speaker 2: This isn't about this generation too scared to talk to people.

1135
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 2: It's actually about having common courtesy to realize when it

1136
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 2: is appropriate to make a situation about me and when

1137
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 2: it is not.

1138
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:36,800
Speaker 5: Are you doing this on the day of their wedding

1139
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 5: while she's at me you would on the day of

1140
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 5: the wedbes say, that's the only situation you're describing this

1141
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:44,880
Speaker 5: like you asking if you're inviting it's going to single

1142
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,359
Speaker 5: handedly destroy the entire wedding.

1143
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 2: Also, like, presumably you're not a lot important If they say, oh, yeah,

1144
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:53,440
Speaker 2: you're not invited to the wedding, they're not you know,

1145
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 2: and you're like, well, I'm not coming. They're not gonna

1146
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 2: be sidnecked. I don't get that. This is one of

1147
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 2: those situations where it is not. So I wanted to

1148
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,520
Speaker 2: know the best way to make sure I uphold the

1149
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 2: fact that I don't want to be a source of

1150
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:07,120
Speaker 2: drama for them surrounding the wedding. I did get a

1151
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 2: lot of good perspectives about possible mistakes that could have

1152
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,719
Speaker 2: happened here, and I'm super happy to accept that as

1153
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,440
Speaker 2: a reality if they explain that to me. But for

1154
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:18,320
Speaker 2: right now, I'm just going to quietly accept the situation

1155
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:20,879
Speaker 2: as is and find something fun to do this week

1156
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:24,200
Speaker 2: and instead update two. Yeah, let's get into it. It

1157
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 2: won't let me link the original post for some reason,

1158
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:28,279
Speaker 2: but it's not my profile. This is not a very

1159
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:30,960
Speaker 2: interesting update, but several people ask for one, so I

1160
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 2: thought I would just explain how things went yesterday. So

1161
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 2: first of all, I'm very glad I didn't go okay ooh.

1162
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,440
Speaker 2: My fiance was quite unhappy when he came home from

1163
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 2: the wedding and told me I was on to something. Okay,

1164
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 2: you know it. Guess you're right. Turns out I was

1165
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 2: not the only partner that was missing, but my fiance

1166
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 2: is still a bit confused by the whole thing because

1167
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 2: it struck him as really weird about the people who

1168
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,839
Speaker 2: didn't have their partners there. Plenty of people did ask

1169
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,960
Speaker 2: about me and where I was. My fiance just kind

1170
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 2: of generically told them I couldn't make it, but the

1171
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 2: bride and groom did not ask about me, though. The

1172
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 2: groom came up to my fiance and said something about

1173
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:11,320
Speaker 2: can't wait for your wedding. You're not invited, you'rely popa,

1174
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:14,080
Speaker 2: which is what made him realize I was right about

1175
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:16,759
Speaker 2: the whole thing. None of the bridal party, many of

1176
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 2: whom you knew well, asked about me, which also stood

1177
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,600
Speaker 2: out to him considering how many of the guests did.

1178
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 2: One thing that strikes me as odd is that my

1179
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 2: fiance confirmed there was no designated seat for me, but

1180
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 2: there were a lot of empty seats, So that isn't

1181
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,759
Speaker 2: like there isn't like a yo, oh, there's too many

1182
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:35,960
Speaker 2: people we can't invite that. Yeah, yeah, definitely not that,

1183
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:38,760
Speaker 2: which leads me to wonder if they knew how entirely

1184
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:41,800
Speaker 2: confused and weird this was, and they were preparing for

1185
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 2: people's spouses that weren't invited to show up and play

1186
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 2: it off by having a seat available. I don't know.

1187
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:51,799
Speaker 2: That's pretty much it. The whole thing honestly feels even

1188
00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:54,279
Speaker 2: more confusing after the wedding, But I do at least

1189
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:57,799
Speaker 2: think it's pretty clear that I was right and made

1190
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:01,800
Speaker 2: the right decision in not going. No real drama happened,

1191
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 2: and I'm not gonna really bother to try and find

1192
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 2: out more from them or from anyone else, but it

1193
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:10,400
Speaker 2: is disappointing, to say the least. My fiance is pretty disappointed. Too,

1194
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 2: to find out how little these friends respect not just

1195
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,239
Speaker 2: me as a person, but me as his partner. But

1196
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 2: that's just how it goes sometimes, I guess. And it

1197
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:24,359
Speaker 2: also the way that we go sometimes is live every

1198
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:27,320
Speaker 2: weekday a three pmbst on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok. Just

1199
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 2: tap her profile, yep, just give it a tap. That's

1200
00:53:29,640 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 2: the way we go.

1201
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 5: Well, sometimes it might take just tap until you're in

1202
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:33,359
Speaker 5: the live.

1203
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 2: Yes, that's just get it happen. And there's a little

1204
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:36,920
Speaker 2: bit left to the story.

1205
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,799
Speaker 5: I'm kind of flabbergasted here that maybe the best move

1206
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 5: was not to make the phone call. I guess you're

1207
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 5: I do kind of disagree though, where she's goes.

1208
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:45,839
Speaker 2: I guess you didn't.

1209
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:50,839
Speaker 5: You didn't have any drama that like, uh leaked outside

1210
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,680
Speaker 5: of yourself. But this entire time where you were like

1211
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 5: debating like whether or not or what it is or

1212
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 5: what it isn't. I feel like that in and of

1213
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,800
Speaker 5: itself is like a form of drama. Yeah, but it

1214
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 5: was like just for you, and I think you could

1215
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:05,800
Speaker 5: have just avoided it all. And like, I don't know,

1216
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 5: I feel like if you called this person who clearly

1217
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,080
Speaker 5: I guess doesn't like you, Yeah, something. We're still kind

1218
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 5: of unsure on exactly.

1219
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,399
Speaker 2: What that why they didn't invite you, But I feel

1220
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 2: like you.

1221
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:15,279
Speaker 5: Would have picked up on if you call them or

1222
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 5: he you know, y'all called them together yeah and said hey,

1223
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 5: so we just wanted to confirm, like is is there

1224
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:24,880
Speaker 5: was her name missing on, like is she invited or what?

1225
00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:27,160
Speaker 5: And based on I'm sure if this person hated you,

1226
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:29,279
Speaker 5: you'd be able to pick up the vibe yeah and then.

1227
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:30,759
Speaker 2: Be like, Okay, so I guess I don't need to

1228
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 2: go to that, but either way, not going. But either way,

1229
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:35,120
Speaker 2: don't invite them to your wedding they serve it, don't

1230
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:37,279
Speaker 2: do that. But there is a little bit more to

1231
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 2: this story. I really just wish they had been direct.

1232
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 2: Even if the reason they gave was a lie that

1233
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 2: I wasn't invited, I would have understood if they said

1234
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,920
Speaker 2: it was a matter of numbers. But the way they

1235
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,840
Speaker 2: went about this just seems so pathetic and cowardly to me.

1236
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 2: But but it appears as if we weren't the only

1237
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 2: long term term couple they did this too, So I

1238
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,120
Speaker 2: think it says a lot more about them than it

1239
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 2: does about me. For sure. Thanks to everyone who gave

1240
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 2: advice and offered different perspectives. I'm super thankful I posted

1241
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:09,440
Speaker 2: here because you guys really helped me feel confident in

1242
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:12,360
Speaker 2: my re and my read on the situation, and you

1243
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 2: all help me make the right decision to avoid the

1244
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 2: most drama or embarrassment. And that is the end of

1245
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 2: that story.

1246
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 5: Well, good job avoiding that drama. I guess I would

1247
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 5: have made it more dramatic, but I guess I'm.

1248
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,240
Speaker 2: Yes, we were all living for the drama.

1249
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 5: I'm just not afraid of that phone call, you know, ye,

1250
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 5: not afraid to make a phone call.

1251
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,239
Speaker 2: I think there's one more story in there. There is

1252
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,520
Speaker 2: one more story. There is one more Hey, it's johny

1253
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 2: og host here.

1254
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 3: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's a

1255
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,400
Speaker 3: quick three minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1256
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:43,479
Speaker 5: I finally cut off my manipulative friend, but I can't

1257
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 5: stop thinking I might be in the wrong.

1258
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 2: Don't overthink it, keep them cut off? Yeah, no questions.

1259
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 2: That was definitely not overthought.

1260
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,399
Speaker 5: I'll tell you that I've been dealing with a really

1261
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 5: difficult situation involving a former friend, and I'm torn about

1262
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:02,360
Speaker 5: whether I'm in the wrong for stepping back from the friendship.

1263
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,359
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from user wild payment thirty

1264
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:08,880
Speaker 5: three fifteen on the r slash okay story time subreddit.

1265
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:13,040
Speaker 5: So for privacy reasons, I've changed all the names in

1266
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 5: the story. Here's who they are. Tammy my former friend

1267
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 5: who has been emotionally impulsive. Oh, we might need the

1268
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 5: board for this. We've got Tammy, the former friend who

1269
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 5: has been emotionally impulsive and manipulative in our friendship. Yes,

1270
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 5: and then there's a Mirah, a mutual friend and advocate

1271
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:39,760
Speaker 5: for marginalized communities. There's Jessica, another mutual friend who seems

1272
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:44,840
Speaker 5: to be on Tammy's side, and Samantha is Tammy's daughter.

1273
00:56:45,160 --> 00:56:49,399
Speaker 5: So to continue on with the story, I'm posting here

1274
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:52,239
Speaker 5: to get an outside perspective because this situation has been

1275
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 5: emotionally exhausting and I want to make sure I'm handling

1276
00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:58,800
Speaker 5: it in the best way possible. I've been dealing with

1277
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:02,040
Speaker 5: a difficult situation with someone who was once my friend,

1278
00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:04,840
Speaker 5: and I'm torn about whether I'm in the wrong or not.

1279
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:08,360
Speaker 5: To give some context, this person, whom I'll refer to

1280
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 5: as Tammy, has a trans son. Tammy has a tendency

1281
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:16,720
Speaker 5: to be emotionally impulsive and often does things without taking

1282
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 5: accountability for them. For example, a while ago, she accused

1283
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 5: a man of sending her exploitive material on Instagram during

1284
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:29,320
Speaker 5: a TikTok live. The material was spicy in nature, but

1285
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:32,880
Speaker 5: she claimed it involved children, which it did not. WHOA,

1286
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:35,560
Speaker 5: that is a crazy accusation to.

1287
00:57:35,640 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 2: Levy at someone.

1288
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:40,680
Speaker 5: Dude, that's a big clan Dude, Like that's like you

1289
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 5: go to jail for saying that about someone when that's

1290
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 5: not true. Damn that can ruin someone's entire life. Yeah, instantaneously.

1291
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 5: Whoof this happened around the same time that she had

1292
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:57,520
Speaker 5: a falling out with four of our mutual friends, who

1293
00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:01,600
Speaker 5: felt she wasn't taking responsibility for her action. Tammy's emotional

1294
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 5: response to the situation was to kick everyone out of

1295
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 5: the group chat on Instagram, something she's done multiple times

1296
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:09,800
Speaker 5: before when things don't go her way.

1297
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,160
Speaker 2: That's exhausting to be friends with that type of person.

1298
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:16,960
Speaker 5: Tammy just sounds like not a fun time for anybody,

1299
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:22,960
Speaker 5: So she tends to push people away and make things

1300
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,160
Speaker 5: about her, which has made it really hard for me

1301
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:28,439
Speaker 5: to maintain a healthy relationship with her. During that time,

1302
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:32,440
Speaker 5: I stood by her despite disagreeing with how she handled

1303
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:35,240
Speaker 5: the situation with the man, but I didn't agree with

1304
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:38,760
Speaker 5: her actions. She never apologized to the man, nor did

1305
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 5: she apologize to me for how she treated me during

1306
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 5: that time. Around the same time, Tammy said some hurtful

1307
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:48,840
Speaker 5: things to me which felt dismissive of my experiences. She

1308
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 5: implied that I just needed to try harder in a

1309
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 5: way that minimized my struggles, especially as a trans person,

1310
00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:59,640
Speaker 5: so Op is also trans. She went on to compare

1311
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:03,440
Speaker 5: my struggles to her son's journey, highlighting how he had

1312
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 5: mental health issues in the past but had overcome them

1313
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 5: now living in California with a beautiful girlfriend, engaged and thriving.

1314
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 2: And she's comparing that to ope. She's like, you should

1315
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:18,000
Speaker 2: try harder. That's crazy. Yeah, stop comparing people's journeys. Comparison

1316
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:20,240
Speaker 2: is the thief of joy. You're thieving all that joy.

1317
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:21,480
Speaker 2: Put it on my tombstone.

1318
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 5: It felt like she put him on a pedestal, and

1319
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,360
Speaker 5: it made me feel like my experiences, particularly as a transperson,

1320
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 5: didn't matter. Her words were hurtful, and it seemed like

1321
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 5: she was more focused on her son's story as a

1322
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 5: success narrative rather than recognizing the validity of my own.

1323
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:40,160
Speaker 5: Tammy also told me that she was looking for me

1324
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 5: to be responsible because apparently she thought I somehow wasn't

1325
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 5: showing responsibility. I was completely taken aback by this, especially

1326
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:52,880
Speaker 5: since I had admitted when I'd done something wrong every

1327
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:57,440
Speaker 5: single time. More specifically, I apologized to Tammy for trauma

1328
00:59:57,480 --> 00:59:59,680
Speaker 5: dumping on her several times. I owned up to the

1329
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 5: fact that I was trauma dumping, and I apologized, and

1330
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 5: I owned up to it. I do not know where

1331
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:08,000
Speaker 5: she's coming from with these allegations of me not taking responsibility.

1332
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:11,720
Speaker 5: To me, that is responsibility. I don't understand what she

1333
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:14,880
Speaker 5: expects from me. What else is she asking for when

1334
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:18,320
Speaker 5: I've already owned my actions. It's disheartening that I'm in

1335
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:21,160
Speaker 5: my late twenties and yet she, in her fifties, is

1336
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:23,840
Speaker 5: acting more like a teenager, not someone who is older

1337
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:26,200
Speaker 5: than me. She's not with her, She's not an elder

1338
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:29,040
Speaker 5: in any sense, and the way she behaves is really disappointing.

1339
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:32,640
Speaker 5: Around the same time, Tammy began worrying that I would

1340
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 5: leave her too, and sent me thousands of messages expressing

1341
01:00:36,040 --> 01:00:38,360
Speaker 5: her fear that I would abandon her just like the

1342
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 5: other friends had. I hadn't responded for a while because

1343
01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:43,880
Speaker 5: I was at work, but she became fixated on this

1344
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 5: idea that I was going to leave her, even though

1345
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 5: I was just busy. Her worry and desperation came off

1346
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:52,480
Speaker 5: as manipulative, and it seemed like she was trying to

1347
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 5: emotionally control me into staying in the friendship on her terms. Meanwhile,

1348
01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:59,479
Speaker 5: this is the person who kicked all of her friends

1349
01:00:59,520 --> 01:01:00,440
Speaker 5: out of the chat.

1350
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:03,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like she's already pushing people away and then

1351
01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:05,640
Speaker 2: she's trying to pull them back. Yeah, which is just

1352
01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:09,080
Speaker 2: a very manipulative person. You can see. Also, Josephine, just

1353
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:12,640
Speaker 2: to clarify, oh, p is a transperson. And then I

1354
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:17,000
Speaker 2: think that Tammy has a daughter named Samantha and a

1355
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:18,880
Speaker 2: transcend I think there's two separate people.

1356
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:22,640
Speaker 5: Yeah could Yeah, that's my understanding of the story. I mean, like,

1357
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:24,720
Speaker 5: you could also theoretically have a trans son who goes

1358
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:27,280
Speaker 5: by Samantha. That's also true, right, It's like world's a

1359
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:31,920
Speaker 5: complex place. This has been a recurring issue with I

1360
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 5: guess Tammy. She doesn't seem to know how to emotionally regulate,

1361
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 5: and it often feels like I'm caught in a cycle

1362
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:42,040
Speaker 5: of her needing constant reassurance. She doesn't seem to understand

1363
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 5: boundaries or take responsibility for her actions. It seems like

1364
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:48,600
Speaker 5: if she doesn't get the reaction she wants, she just

1365
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:51,680
Speaker 5: throws a tantrum or tries to guilt people into sticking around.

1366
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 5: To add to that, when I reached out to Amirah

1367
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 5: another friend who will mention Shory who is the cool

1368
01:01:58,160 --> 01:02:00,920
Speaker 5: friend of her cool, I reached out to Amra on

1369
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:03,840
Speaker 5: Tammy's behalf. Tammy asked me to try and get some

1370
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:07,400
Speaker 5: resolution between her and a Mira because they both call

1371
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 5: out problematic people on TikTok and advocate.

1372
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:11,960
Speaker 2: For marginalized communities.

1373
01:02:12,560 --> 01:02:15,600
Speaker 5: However, Tammy wanted to join forces with Amira to start

1374
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:18,680
Speaker 5: calling people out together, but she failed to acknowledge that

1375
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:21,280
Speaker 5: Amra was going through her own struggles at that point.

1376
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:24,760
Speaker 5: Tammy didn't take a Mira's personal situation into account and

1377
01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:27,640
Speaker 5: just moved forward with the plan without thinking about what

1378
01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:31,000
Speaker 5: a Mira was experiencing at the time. It felt selfish

1379
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:34,320
Speaker 5: because Tammy didn't consider how this might impact Amra's well being.

1380
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:37,040
Speaker 5: All of this came after I reached out to Tammy

1381
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 5: because of the situation that happened with my family on Thanksgiving.

1382
01:02:41,120 --> 01:02:43,840
Speaker 5: My family was not accepting of me as a transperson,

1383
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:47,480
Speaker 5: and I was reaching out for support. Instead of providing support,

1384
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:51,000
Speaker 5: Tammy turned it into something about her and her experiences,

1385
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:55,440
Speaker 5: further distancing me from her. On top of this, Tammy

1386
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,720
Speaker 5: said that I did not ask how she was doing

1387
01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:00,360
Speaker 5: before starting to talk to her about my family situation.

1388
01:03:00,920 --> 01:03:03,200
Speaker 5: This is a lie, because every single time that I

1389
01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 5: would ever talk to her, whether it was through text

1390
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 5: or on the phone, I would always ask her how

1391
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:11,680
Speaker 5: she was doing. The four friends ultimately left Tammy because

1392
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:14,919
Speaker 5: of her actions, for impulsivity and how she handled things.

1393
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:17,840
Speaker 5: They also felt it was a liability to be associated

1394
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:20,520
Speaker 5: with her. I can't blame them for feeling that way. Yeah,

1395
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:23,200
Speaker 5: especially after like the false allegations we talked about at

1396
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:23,600
Speaker 5: the beginning.

1397
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:25,160
Speaker 2: I think you just need to also kind of go

1398
01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:28,520
Speaker 2: that route, because she seems like a lot to deal with,

1399
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:33,000
Speaker 2: a piece of work. I gotta say, mm hmm, Yeah, She's.

1400
01:03:32,880 --> 01:03:36,320
Speaker 5: Not somebody to just be like, well whatever, I just

1401
01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:37,480
Speaker 5: we'll just keep hanging out.

1402
01:03:37,520 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 2: I guess this is a really taxing friendship. Yeah.

1403
01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:46,000
Speaker 5: On top of everything, Tammy's daughter Samantha. Okay, so there's

1404
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:46,439
Speaker 5: a daughter.

1405
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:47,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1406
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 5: Tammy's daughter, Samantha has posted things on TikTok in directly

1407
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:55,200
Speaker 5: targeting me. I responded in kind because I believe I

1408
01:03:55,280 --> 01:03:57,720
Speaker 5: should be because I don't believe I should be intimidated

1409
01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 5: into feeling bad about myself or what I did. I

1410
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:02,960
Speaker 5: stood up for myself and I won't be manipulated into

1411
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 5: feeling guilty for that. It's exhausting to constantly feel like

1412
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:08,520
Speaker 5: I need to justify my actions and who I am

1413
01:04:08,960 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 5: just to maintain peace. As for Jessica, the mutual friend

1414
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:16,280
Speaker 5: who was taking Tammy's side, I feel like she's taking

1415
01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:19,200
Speaker 5: sides and favoring Tammy more. I'm not sure what it

1416
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:21,160
Speaker 5: will take for her to see the situation for what

1417
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:23,720
Speaker 5: it is. Maybe she'll have to experience an encounter with

1418
01:04:23,800 --> 01:04:27,440
Speaker 5: Tammy herself to understand. Some people don't learn unless they

1419
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:28,480
Speaker 5: go through things like that.

1420
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:29,200
Speaker 2: Unfortunately.

1421
01:04:29,840 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 5: Additionally, I want to touch on how Tammy has been

1422
01:04:32,200 --> 01:04:36,280
Speaker 5: incredibly ablest towards me, both in the past and more recently.

1423
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:40,000
Speaker 5: She dismissed my experience and struggles as a transperson. When

1424
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:42,040
Speaker 5: I was going through difficult times, she demanded that I

1425
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:44,560
Speaker 5: seek mental health, even though I've already sought help in

1426
01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:46,160
Speaker 5: the past and I'm not currently in.

1427
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 3: A position to do so.

1428
01:04:47,560 --> 01:04:50,640
Speaker 5: I don't have health insurance to pursue therapy or counseling,

1429
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:53,680
Speaker 5: and the hospitals around here aren't always the best, especially

1430
01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:56,040
Speaker 5: when it comes to mental health care for queer people.

1431
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:58,920
Speaker 5: Tammy knows this, but despite that, she insisted that I

1432
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:01,960
Speaker 5: go to the hospital. It's frustrating because she claims to

1433
01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:05,720
Speaker 5: be an ally to the LGBTQ plus community, but her

1434
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 5: actions tell a completely different story. Her dismissiveness and demand

1435
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:12,600
Speaker 5: for me to quote unquote fix myself was incredibly ablest

1436
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:15,680
Speaker 5: and just added more pressure to an already difficult situation.

1437
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 2: I don't know if I agree with that.

1438
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:22,080
Speaker 5: What well, I mean, well, the being like go here, like, well,

1439
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:25,280
Speaker 5: I've been to that hospital. It doesn't work. And clearly

1440
01:05:25,400 --> 01:05:27,400
Speaker 5: Tammy is like from everything else we've seen, is like

1441
01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:30,040
Speaker 5: is not a great yea or a great person. But

1442
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:31,920
Speaker 5: I think someone telling you, like, hey, you should get

1443
01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:34,360
Speaker 5: help for that, whatever it is, I don't think that that's.

1444
01:05:34,480 --> 01:05:37,240
Speaker 2: I don't think it's necessarily a bad or like outright

1445
01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:39,440
Speaker 2: a bad thing, but I think it depends on the context.

1446
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:42,920
Speaker 2: Like here, it seems like Tammy was badgering Op about it,

1447
01:05:42,960 --> 01:05:44,640
Speaker 2: and he was like, I, literally I can't afford this,

1448
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:45,520
Speaker 2: But just.

1449
01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:47,800
Speaker 5: On the surface, I just don't want anyone to get

1450
01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:49,960
Speaker 5: the wrong idea that if you think of friend needs

1451
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:51,520
Speaker 5: help and you want to tell them that they should

1452
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:54,960
Speaker 5: try to get help, by all means you can express that. Yeah,

1453
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 5: I was blocked by Tammy after the aftermath of me

1454
01:05:58,440 --> 01:06:01,720
Speaker 5: trying to seek support from her after the situation that

1455
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:04,640
Speaker 5: happened with my family on Thanksgiving. Tammy also threatened me,

1456
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:07,160
Speaker 5: saying that if I was still friendly with the friends

1457
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:10,680
Speaker 5: that had abandoned her, that she would expose me on social.

1458
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:14,320
Speaker 2: Media for what for? Yeah, exactly for being friends with people.

1459
01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:15,560
Speaker 2: This is absurd.

1460
01:06:16,960 --> 01:06:21,280
Speaker 5: Remember this all happened over TikTok. But Tammy was involved

1461
01:06:21,320 --> 01:06:24,720
Speaker 5: in three, actually four different activism groups in her local area,

1462
01:06:25,080 --> 01:06:28,680
Speaker 5: and every single one of those activism groups kicked her out.

1463
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:31,680
Speaker 5: I suspect she was kicked out of these groups because

1464
01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:34,200
Speaker 5: she has a tendency to want everybody to listen to her.

1465
01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:36,680
Speaker 5: It's almost like she wants to control everything and have

1466
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:39,640
Speaker 5: her daughter involved in everything as well. And by the way,

1467
01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:43,920
Speaker 5: we want all of you involved in our live streams

1468
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:47,040
Speaker 5: when we go live every weekday at three pm PSC

1469
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:51,600
Speaker 5: on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch. All you gotta do

1470
01:06:51,720 --> 01:06:54,280
Speaker 5: is tap on our profile profile and you're in and

1471
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:55,640
Speaker 5: if you're not in, tap again.

1472
01:06:55,760 --> 01:07:00,880
Speaker 2: Keep tapping until you know you're in the live.

1473
01:07:01,040 --> 01:07:04,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, so we do have a little bit more story left.

1474
01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:07,960
Speaker 2: But I think you know, I'm a little I'm a

1475
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:10,920
Speaker 2: little confused. What would the blow up like the initial

1476
01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:13,280
Speaker 2: blow up thing was, But it seems like Tammy is

1477
01:07:13,440 --> 01:07:16,360
Speaker 2: just making mountains out of mole hills left and right,

1478
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:18,840
Speaker 2: and just doesn't seem like a good person to be

1479
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,760
Speaker 2: trying to get support from. Because it seems like Opiece

1480
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:25,160
Speaker 2: multiple times has tried to get support from Tammy and

1481
01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:27,440
Speaker 2: she seems like the worst person to get that from.

1482
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:28,960
Speaker 2: So you just need to drop her.

1483
01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:33,000
Speaker 5: Does not is not a person built for support. So

1484
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:35,880
Speaker 5: let's finish this story now. I'm wondering if I'm the

1485
01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:38,320
Speaker 5: a hole here. I've had to set boundaries with Tammy

1486
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:41,480
Speaker 5: multiple times and she doesn't respect them. She's constantly in

1487
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:44,600
Speaker 5: a cycle of drama and it's exhausting. At this point,

1488
01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:46,720
Speaker 5: I feel like I've given her so many chances, but

1489
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:48,800
Speaker 5: I'm not sure if I can keep doing this, don't

1490
01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:49,280
Speaker 5: keep doing it?

1491
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:52,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, just don't keep right. You're right.

1492
01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:56,080
Speaker 5: Note all change all the names are changed, of course.

1493
01:07:56,520 --> 01:07:58,840
Speaker 5: Am I wrong for stepping back? Or is this just

1494
01:07:58,920 --> 01:08:01,880
Speaker 5: the reality of dealing with someone who's emotionally unstable?

1495
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:04,640
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole?

1496
01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:04,840
Speaker 5: No?

1497
01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:07,000
Speaker 2: No, I mean low key?

1498
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:07,360
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1499
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:10,560
Speaker 5: Is the reality of dealing with someone who's emotionally ones.

1500
01:08:10,360 --> 01:08:11,200
Speaker 2: You have to deal with them?

1501
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:13,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, it doesn't have to be your reality. It's like

1502
01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:16,000
Speaker 5: you don't just have to be like, well, I guess

1503
01:08:16,120 --> 01:08:18,200
Speaker 5: this is my life. I guess I'm gonna have to

1504
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:20,920
Speaker 5: be this person's like punching bag my whole life because

1505
01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:23,599
Speaker 5: they're emotionally unstable. I guess I got to cut off

1506
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:26,080
Speaker 5: all my friends because this person's emotionally unstable.

1507
01:08:26,120 --> 01:08:27,840
Speaker 2: It's like, if someone is not you have to do that.

1508
01:08:28,439 --> 01:08:31,840
Speaker 2: If someone is not, you know, just being a good

1509
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:37,160
Speaker 2: friend or is not benefiting your life. And I don't

1510
01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:39,200
Speaker 2: mean that from like giving you things, but like just

1511
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:42,799
Speaker 2: like emotionally benefiting your life, you don't have to continue

1512
01:08:42,840 --> 01:08:44,479
Speaker 2: being friends with them, you don't.

1513
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:46,719
Speaker 5: Or if it's on the same token, if you feel

1514
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,000
Speaker 5: like you know your friends aren't buying you enough nice things,

1515
01:08:49,120 --> 01:08:49,439
Speaker 5: m m.

1516
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:50,880
Speaker 2: You don't have to be friends.

1517
01:08:51,200 --> 01:08:55,120
Speaker 5: But also I would question whether or not your priorities.

1518
01:08:54,560 --> 01:08:56,599
Speaker 2: And your morals are straight by doing that. A little

1519
01:08:56,600 --> 01:08:58,160
Speaker 2: bit out of whack, but it's great.

1520
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:00,439
Speaker 5: We live in a world where we're free to do

1521
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:02,880
Speaker 5: literally love, uh, you know.

1522
01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:06,200
Speaker 2: With within reason. Dang man. That's the end of that.

1523
01:09:06,479 --> 01:09:07,200
Speaker 2: That is the end of that.

1524
01:09:07,479 --> 01:09:12,560
Speaker 5: Everybody else, pal, if you love us, make sure you subscribe.

1525
01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:15,920
Speaker 2: We love you and see lor