Speaker 1: Here we are for another episode of Love Someone, my
Speaker 1: attempt to shed light on a world that sometimes feels
Speaker 1: very dark. Sometimes you can get so overwhelmed with all
Speaker 1: the negative news that you just feel like, how can
Speaker 1: it get better? How can I make a difference? And
Speaker 1: on this podcast, we want to encourage you to do
Speaker 1: just that, to love someone in a tangible way. I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about romantic love. I'm talking about the kind
Speaker 1: of love that moves mountains, creates foundations, the kind of
Speaker 1: love that empowers people who feel powerless or overpowered by circumstances.
Speaker 1: We talk to ordinary people who are doing extraordinary things
Speaker 1: to change the world for good. Educators. We talked to
Speaker 1: some of my favorite teachers, some of the people that
Speaker 1: were most impactful in shaping my life and my children's lives.
Speaker 1: We've talked to authors. We've talked to a homemaker who
Speaker 1: managed somehow to raise half a million dollars to get
Speaker 1: a football field installed in the northernmost part of Alaska
Speaker 1: on the frozen tundra. Everyone I talk with has done
Speaker 1: something to spread hope, to bring about healing, and to
Speaker 1: bring enthusiasm, passion, joy to the notion of stepping out
Speaker 1: of your comfort zone in order to inspire others or
Speaker 1: to help others in need. Today's guest is such a man.
Speaker 1: He has been doing this his entire career. Max Lucato.
Speaker 1: He's a minister. He is a best selling Christian author.
Speaker 1: He's written over one hundred books. You may know him
Speaker 1: from some of his best loved titles Anxious for Nothing
Speaker 1: and Unshakable Hope. His latest book, How Happiness Happens, has
Speaker 1: just been published, and Max is taking some time out
Speaker 1: of his busy schedule today to chat with us again.
Speaker 1: I've known Max, I've talked to Max over the years,
Speaker 1: and he always brings something new to my heart. It's
Speaker 1: like music that moves you, and it's simple but powerful
Speaker 1: in its message. He cuts right to the point and
Speaker 1: he uses such beautiful analogies that you cannot help but
Speaker 1: be moved by his writings. Before we talk to Max, though,
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about my beloved sponsor that makes
Speaker 1: this show a possibility. There are several people that make
Speaker 1: this show a possibility. My executive producer, Deanna, who is
Speaker 1: not only my executive producer, she's also my sister. And
Speaker 1: Miss Lisa, Lisa who has been a part of the
Speaker 1: Delilah team for twenty years, two decades, who puts all
Speaker 1: the elements together. Lyndy who happens to know Max and
Speaker 1: his publisher and help me to arrange this conversation. So
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people who make this happen, but
Speaker 1: it wouldn't happen without our sponsor, the Home Depot. They
Speaker 1: allow their team members to do some incredible things, some
Speaker 1: wonderful things for their communities throughout the year. One regularly
Speaker 1: scheduled event happens to be on the third Thursday of
Speaker 1: every single month. It's called the Do it Herself Workshops.
Speaker 1: Imagine spending an hour or two once a month learning
Speaker 1: how to use all the tools you might need to
Speaker 1: know how to use to keep your own home updated.
Speaker 1: Do what her Self workshops are get togethers for you
Speaker 1: and I and they're free. By the way, you learn
Speaker 1: how to make something different each time, and in the
Speaker 1: process of doing so, you actually learn how to use
Speaker 1: so many different tools. I've been going myself for years
Speaker 1: to these whenever I can, and they're a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: Sign up in advance so they know you're coming at
Speaker 1: the Home Depots website and remember they do it Herself
Speaker 1: Workshops are absolutely free. Hi Max, Welcome to the Delilah Show.
Speaker 1: Welcome to love.
Speaker 2: Someone, my favorite human being in the whole world.
Speaker 1: Don't tell your family you said that, It'll be our
Speaker 1: little secret.
Speaker 2: Great to hear your voice.
Speaker 1: How are you, my friend.
Speaker 2: I'm doing well, I really am. I'm doing really well.
Speaker 2: How about you?
Speaker 1: You know I have good days, I have bad days,
Speaker 1: And when you lose a child, I think that's the
Speaker 1: way it's going to be for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: So your book came at a good time.
Speaker 2: Well, I sure wish I had some kind of magic
Speaker 2: wand to take all that heartache away from you.
Speaker 1: Rory Feak said something to me me shortly after Zach
Speaker 1: left and we were talking, and he said, Delilah, your
Speaker 1: boys are much more a part of your future than
Speaker 1: they are a part of your past. He said, but
Speaker 1: they were only here for a short time. You've got
Speaker 1: all eternity to look forward to. And he said, they
Speaker 1: are such a part of your future now that you
Speaker 1: will look forward with such anticipation to that reunion. And wow,
Speaker 1: talk about a change in perspective. If there was an
Speaker 1: ounce of me that had ever feared the sting of death,
Speaker 1: before I'm like, huh. And when I keep that perspective,
Speaker 1: I can get through it because the what ifs will
Speaker 1: drive you absolutely insane.
Speaker 2: They will, won't they They'll just beat us up. They will.
Speaker 2: The other day I asked my wife if there's anything
Speaker 2: ever good that comes out of her.
Speaker 1: Nothing.
Speaker 2: I can't think of anything. I mean, there's there's a
Speaker 2: difference between regrets and lesson learned, right, I mean you
Speaker 2: learn a lesson to move on. I think a regret
Speaker 2: is when you keep reliving it, you just let it
Speaker 2: get a hold of you. Maybe that's that's the word.
Speaker 2: Instead of regret, it's regret because it gets us back
Speaker 2: and pulls us down. Yeah, there's nothing good that happens
Speaker 2: from regrets.
Speaker 1: Nothing good. So when somebody comes to you or talks
Speaker 1: to you, Max, who's gone through something like this, or
Speaker 1: like losing a marriage, or like being betrayed. You talk
Speaker 1: about in your other books several times betrayal and how
Speaker 1: that is just such a wound that takes us for
Speaker 1: a loop. How can you then say be happy?
Speaker 2: Yeah? And and and that's kind of where I was
Speaker 2: coming from here. I've written this book on how happiness
Speaker 2: happens and just a couple of nights ago, a close
Speaker 2: friend asked a question, can I ever be happy again?
Speaker 2: And I know this severe loss that he's gone through,
Speaker 2: and I just so much to want to do now.
Speaker 2: I want to leave the impression that if a person
Speaker 2: has not always had this silly grin on their face
Speaker 2: or a sense of good mood about them, that they're
Speaker 2: not people of faith or they've messed up. That's a
Speaker 2: last thing I want to communicate. I don't want people
Speaker 2: to feel unhappy about battling unhappiness. I wrote a book
Speaker 2: on anxiety a couple of years ago, and a lady
Speaker 2: wrote me a long letter. She said, I just realized
Speaker 2: how anxious I am. I'm so anxious about being anxious.
Speaker 2: She had that line in the letter, and I wanted
Speaker 2: to say, do you see what you just wrote here?
Speaker 2: I said, I don't want you to be anxious about
Speaker 2: being anxious. Here's kind of where I circle back, and
Speaker 2: that I really do think that there is a type
Speaker 2: of that can weather the storms of life, will still
Speaker 2: get beat up, will still get storm tossed. We won't
Speaker 2: be free from all the challenges. But I do believe
Speaker 2: that every person can honestly say, you know, God can
Speaker 2: grant me a joy that's going to generate a feeling
Speaker 2: or a sense of happiness that could be a difference
Speaker 2: maker in the lives even of other people, that I
Speaker 2: could lift up my eyes away from my pain and
Speaker 2: starting to find purpose and find a way to begin
Speaker 2: to use this challenge I've been through in a way
Speaker 2: that helps other people. I would never wish for you
Speaker 2: to have to go through what you've gone through, ever,
Speaker 2: ever again, ever. In the beginning, I wish I so
Speaker 2: much wish you wouldn't have had to go through this.
Speaker 2: But there's no doubt in my mind that you have
Speaker 2: a wisdom and a sensitivity and also a capacity to
Speaker 2: help other people because you're willing to be an source
Speaker 2: of encouragement to others. You speak with a sense of
Speaker 2: seasoned wisdom that came as a result of this, and
Speaker 2: that ability to land somewhat on your feet even though
Speaker 2: you continue to try to keep your balance is a
Speaker 2: source of inspiration for people like me and for others
Speaker 2: who are inspired and admire you so much. And the
Speaker 2: depth of pain that we feel, you know, when we
Speaker 2: lose somebody in some way, we're all connected. That's why
Speaker 2: when we hear about somebody who has passed from this
Speaker 2: life into heaven. Even if we don't know them well,
Speaker 2: there's still a tug in our hearts. There's a reason
Speaker 2: that these losses are so profound. These relationships are so
Speaker 2: deep and so personal, and they can bring us so
Speaker 2: much joy. And I do think that there is a
Speaker 2: level of joy and a level of happiness that is
Speaker 2: fostered by fostering this kind of love. We all think,
Speaker 2: if I could just get more or acquire more and
Speaker 2: retire early, then I'll really be happy. The truth of
Speaker 2: the matter is that there is a joy level a
Speaker 2: happiness that happens when we serve other people, when we
Speaker 2: love other people, when we care about other people. It's risky,
Speaker 2: you know, it's risky because that love may not be reciprocated, or,
Speaker 2: like you're feeling, that person may be gone someday. But
Speaker 2: the joy that comes from honestly loving and caring about
Speaker 2: another human being creates something that no Madison Avenue our
Speaker 2: marketing campaign can ever deliver. And it works for a
Speaker 2: little bit, you know. I mean, you buy a new
Speaker 2: car and you love that new car smell, or you know,
Speaker 2: you change your hair color and it's really nice and
Speaker 2: there's something that does happen, but then it begins to dissipate,
Speaker 2: it begins to fade away, and you have to recycle it.
Speaker 2: You have to go after the next thing. And when
Speaker 2: you get to be an old person like me, you know,
Speaker 2: if that's been your life, circumstantial happiness, happiness that happens
Speaker 2: only when your circumstances are different, it's easy to get bitter.
Speaker 2: It's either to get bitter or get deeply sad, either
Speaker 2: bitter at the world because you got the raw deal,
Speaker 2: or deeply sad and say, well, that happiness was never
Speaker 2: intended to come my way. Well, the truth of the
Speaker 2: matter is it was there. You're just knocking on the
Speaker 2: wrong door. And I do think that you know, people
Speaker 2: are not happy these days. To Lilah that only one
Speaker 2: out of three Americans says they're happy, the only one
Speaker 2: out of three.
Speaker 1: And those are the ones that listen to my show.
Speaker 2: Well you make me happy.
Speaker 1: I'm just thank you.
Speaker 2: But so that when I read that research, I thought,
Speaker 2: that's just really disturbing. I think I would have thought
Speaker 2: that there's a level of unhappiness or dissatisfaction, but I
Speaker 2: wouldn't have guessed that one out of three people don't
Speaker 2: have enough happiness to check the yes on the happiness box.
Speaker 1: So, Max, how do you think we got there? And
Speaker 1: besides listening to my show, how do we change things?
Speaker 2: So I think the fact that we are so low
Speaker 2: on the happiness level, In fact, this is the lowest
Speaker 2: score that the US has received since this particular survey
Speaker 2: began a decade or so ago, it begs a couple
Speaker 2: of questions, what does this do to us? And how
Speaker 2: can we get out of it? It's like we're in
Speaker 2: a national you know funk, We're in a grumpiness anyway,
Speaker 2: get out of it? Well, I think what it does
Speaker 2: to us is it really takes its toll on our relationships,
Speaker 2: on our health, It takes its toll on our job performance.
Speaker 2: People who are happier, have healthier marriages, have healthier bodies,
Speaker 2: actually earn more money and get promoted more often. So
Speaker 2: a lot of people are missing out because we can't
Speaker 2: seem to disengage ourselves from this perpetual grayness that follows
Speaker 2: us around. So my idea, it's not my idea. The
Speaker 2: idea that I found in the Bible about how to
Speaker 2: deal with unhappiness is really rooted in the Teaching of Jesus,
Speaker 2: where he said it's better to give than receive. There's
Speaker 2: a joy that surges when we give, as opposed to
Speaker 2: when we receive. Now this's got me thinking because everything
Speaker 2: I see on television or in the news, just about
Speaker 2: everything in a commercial or advertising format urges me to
Speaker 2: be a good receiver. To be all about what I
Speaker 2: can purchase, what I can drive, what I can wear,
Speaker 2: what I can hang on my wall, what I can
Speaker 2: wear on my finger, and it's all about what I
Speaker 2: can do for me. And I'm wondering if that's the key,
Speaker 2: because research shows that those who are other focused really
Speaker 2: are happier people. One study in particular pointed out that
Speaker 2: when people were hooked up to an MRI scanner and
Speaker 2: ask just to imagine, just to envision doing good things
Speaker 2: for others, the pleasure center of the brain lit up
Speaker 2: like Christmas trees. And so just the thought of doing
Speaker 2: good things makes us happier. So in the book, I
Speaker 2: unpacked ways that we can increase our happiness level by
Speaker 2: being kying to others about doing good things to others,
Speaker 2: encourage one another, build up one another, greet one another,
Speaker 2: forgive one another. All these one another versus really open
Speaker 2: the door to a sense of happiness and well being,
Speaker 2: and it's something we can all do immediately.
Speaker 1: Do you think something has changed in our culture? Any
Speaker 1: one thing, anything that you can put your finger on.
Speaker 2: Think A unique challenge of our generation is the social
Speaker 2: media phenomena. You know, it's really difficult to get on
Speaker 2: Facebook or Instagram or Twitter and not compare yourself to
Speaker 2: other people. Compare yourself either to the number of followers
Speaker 2: or likes that they have, or compare yourself to that
Speaker 2: moment in time that is captured by that picture or
Speaker 2: by that video. It just takes just about all the
Speaker 2: wherewithal that we can muster. Yeah, I honestly consider myself
Speaker 2: kind of an emotionally healthy guy. I don't struggle a
Speaker 2: whole lot. I'm very blessed with I think a good
Speaker 2: well being. But when I get online and I see
Speaker 2: that so and so had thirty thousand likes, you know,
Speaker 2: to a particular picture or comment, I think, man, that
Speaker 2: never happens to me. Rather than being happy for that person,
Speaker 2: I tend to feel either inferior or even envious. Now
Speaker 2: I'm not happy about that. I don't like that about me.
Speaker 2: That's something that needs to needs to improve. I shouldn't
Speaker 2: let that take my joy. But I think this social
Speaker 2: media era has us dealing with the level of comparisons
Speaker 2: that has comparisons on It's like it's on steroids now.
Speaker 2: Comparison has always been an issue, you know. The idea
Speaker 2: is to learn to be happy with what you have,
Speaker 2: but it's a challenge in our day and age. I
Speaker 2: think because of social media not to covet the life
Speaker 2: that someone has or the experience that someone has. So
Speaker 2: we just got to learn to face it. And I
Speaker 2: think we face it. I really believe we face it
Speaker 2: by letting our identity be rooted in the fact that
Speaker 2: we are known and loved by God, rather than rooted
Speaker 2: in what we own, or drive, or the job we have.
Speaker 2: Those things come and go. But if we can let
Speaker 2: our identity and our sense of well being be rooted
Speaker 2: in the fact that we're known by God and we're
Speaker 2: loved by God, then we have a chance, we have
Speaker 2: a winner's chance to really deal with this unhappiness that
Speaker 2: faces us.
Speaker 1: You know, we value ambition in our own lives, in
Speaker 1: the lives of our peers, our partners. We encourage it
Speaker 1: in our children. How do we balance the concept of
Speaker 1: contentment with that of ambition.
Speaker 2: That is a great question, and it has to do
Speaker 2: with being able to at once be ambitious, but number two,
Speaker 2: be content with your life. It's it's a balancing you know,
Speaker 2: if your joy depends upon what you cannot control, then
Speaker 2: you're setting yourself up for disappointment. And that's when ambition
Speaker 2: can get us in trouble because there are certain things
Speaker 2: that we simply, you know, cannot control. I'm not truly
Speaker 2: aspire to be the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers,
Speaker 2: but if I ain't got the skills, you know, I
Speaker 2: ain't got the skills. There are certain things that we
Speaker 2: can control. Certain things we can I can control how
Speaker 2: hard I work, I can control how diligently I train,
Speaker 2: But there are certain things I cannot control. So there's
Speaker 2: a certain balancing act to being able to be ambitious
Speaker 2: and yet be content and realize, here's what I can control,
Speaker 2: here's what I cannot. And I think that's part of
Speaker 2: the maturity in life, as we strive to achieve certain things,
Speaker 2: to be content when we can't control everything.
Speaker 1: Max hold that thought we're going to be back in
Speaker 1: a moment. First of all, we have to stop for
Speaker 1: this message. Back with Max Locato, who is talking to
Speaker 1: me on the phone today about his new book, How
Speaker 1: Happiness Happens, And what a perfect time in our world's
Speaker 1: history to talk about how to make happiness happen in
Speaker 1: our life. Max, you say there's a secret in serving others.
Speaker 1: Can you tell us what you believe that's secret to be.
Speaker 2: Well, the secret that I've found in serving others is
Speaker 2: if you make it your aim to serve people, you'll
Speaker 2: always have a job. If you make it your aim
Speaker 2: to be served by people, you'll inevitably be frustrated. But
Speaker 2: if I can go into a day saying, Okay, today's
Speaker 2: the day I say hello to everyone, Today's the day
Speaker 2: I help bring coffee to the table, or the day
Speaker 2: that I help our kids with the homework, today's the
Speaker 2: day that I clean the dishes, then watch out, world,
Speaker 2: you're going to succeed because there's always room in the
Speaker 2: world for service. I don't care who you are, or
Speaker 2: how high you get, or what kind of position you have.
Speaker 2: And if you can make it your aim to serve people,
Speaker 2: then you can be guaranteed you're going to succeed. And
Speaker 2: I think that's a real secret to contentment. If I'm
Speaker 2: expecting people to serve me all day, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to be very happy. But if I'm making it my
Speaker 2: aim to serve others, then you can bet I'm going
Speaker 2: to find some great satisfaction every day.
Speaker 1: And how are forgiveness and happiness intertwined? What do you mean?
Speaker 1: What are you getting at when you say you give
Speaker 1: the advice we have to conduct a funeral when someone
Speaker 1: is in the process of forgiving.
Speaker 2: When Duke University released a study that had eight characteristics
Speaker 2: of happy people, four of those characteristics had to do
Speaker 2: with forgiving others and not harboring a grudge. Of course,
Speaker 2: we didn't need Duke University to conduct that study because
Speaker 2: all of us have experienced the unhappiness that comes from
Speaker 2: harboring a grudge. None of us are really happy when
Speaker 2: we're living perpetually ticked off at someone, And yet all
Speaker 2: of us have to deal with the reality that we
Speaker 2: get hurt in life. If we get bruised, we get
Speaker 2: beat up, and so what can we do well? In
Speaker 2: the book talk about maybe the most challenging of the
Speaker 2: one another verses is forgive one another. It's not easy,
Speaker 2: and I sure don't want to leave the impression that
Speaker 2: it is. And some of us have been hurt very,
Speaker 2: very deeply in life, and so finding the ability to
Speaker 2: forgive somebody and move on is for many people the
Speaker 2: biggest challenge in life. And yet it's really important. When
Speaker 2: I talk about conducting a funeral. I put that at
Speaker 2: the last item on the list of about five or
Speaker 2: six steps a person can take in the direction of forgiveness.
Speaker 2: So there's several practical steps that we can take. But
Speaker 2: once you've gone through all that list, I encourage people
Speaker 2: to just conduct the funeral, you know. I remember a
Speaker 2: man came to me once with a letter that was
Speaker 2: so full of anger. He was about to send to
Speaker 2: his wife's boss, but he finally reached a point where
Speaker 2: he decided not to send it, and he wanted to
Speaker 2: forgive his wife's boss for something that his wife's boss
Speaker 2: had done. And so he came into my office with
Speaker 2: that letter and a cigarette lighter and asked if he
Speaker 2: could use the metal trash can, and he said, here's
Speaker 2: my funeral. I'm going to burn this thing up. And
Speaker 2: that's where I got that idea. He watched that letter
Speaker 2: be consumed, and when the idea was he was going
Speaker 2: to let that letter be consumed rather than his soul
Speaker 2: be consumed with anger. I urge people do something to say, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is a line in the sand. I have given
Speaker 2: this event to God. I'm content that he knows how
Speaker 2: to settle the score. I've done all I can do.
Speaker 2: It's starting to take the joy out of me, so
Speaker 2: I'm moving on with life. You know, maybe having a
Speaker 2: funeral is a little too dramatic for some people, but
Speaker 2: do something, do something that serves as a mal marker.
Speaker 2: In fact, I'll just do a practical example. The other day,
Speaker 2: I was emailing somebody and they had not emailed me back,
Speaker 2: not email me back. It's really bothering me. And I said,
Speaker 2: you know, in this final email, I said, this is
Speaker 2: my last email, and I'm not sure why you're not responding.
Speaker 2: I want you to know I respect you and you're
Speaker 2: my friend, but something I've done has offended you. I apologize,
Speaker 2: but this is my last email. And so that was
Speaker 2: my way of saying, Okay, I've done all i can do,
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna move on with laugh. And if this
Speaker 2: person ever responds to me, then then we can re engage.
Speaker 2: But until then, I've hear what I'm saying. I've kind
Speaker 2: of respectfully moved on and I'm not going to allow
Speaker 2: that person to take any more of my joy.
Speaker 1: I love that consume the grievance instead of letting it
Speaker 1: consume you. I love that. Let's take a break right here, Max,
Speaker 1: so I can tell folks about a movie coming to
Speaker 1: the theaters just one night, Monday, November fourth. The name of
Speaker 1: the movie is Christmas Jars, based on the novel by
Speaker 1: the same name. It's the story of holiday gift giving
Speaker 1: money filled glass jars anonymously given to people in need.
Speaker 1: It started as fiction, but once this story became a
Speaker 1: New York Times bestselling book, a new holiday tradition has
Speaker 1: taken off. The last several years, at Christmas time, people
Speaker 1: have been generously placing Christmas jars at the front doors
Speaker 1: of people in their time of need all over our country.
Speaker 1: See this story come to life in movie theaters on
Speaker 1: Monday night, November fourth. You can buy movie tickets in
Speaker 1: advance online at Fathomevents dot com. That's Fathom Events dot
Speaker 1: com and just search for Christmas Jars. This movie will
Speaker 1: warm your heart and set you in a holiday mood.
Speaker 1: Thank you for giving me that moment. Max. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about happiness and finding happiness and creating happiness. You ask
Speaker 1: your readers in how happiness happens to take the happiness challenge?
Speaker 1: What is that?
Speaker 2: Okay? So the Happiness Challenge is the idea of taking
Speaker 2: forty days and over forty days, doing your best to
Speaker 2: make one hundred people happier. Do something that you typically
Speaker 2: would not do to raise the happiness level of one
Speaker 2: hundred people. Boy, the world needs it, I know that.
Speaker 2: But keep a journal and over forty days it put
Speaker 2: these one another challenges to use. For example, when I
Speaker 2: took the challenge, I tried to be more conscious of
Speaker 2: greeting people, greeting every person that I saw if it
Speaker 2: was appropriate to greet them, the person at the checkout
Speaker 2: line in the grocery store or the person checking me
Speaker 2: in at the airport. I tried to instead of just
Speaker 2: we can hurry past people that are functionaries in our life,
Speaker 2: and even people in the airport security line, I'm trying
Speaker 2: to do better about saying thank you for keeping us
Speaker 2: safe and calling them by name if they're wearing an ametax.
Speaker 2: So little things like that, over forty days for one
Speaker 2: hundred people. I think a person not be amazed how
Speaker 2: they will find that they are the happiest ones as
Speaker 2: they try to make other people happy.
Speaker 1: What's your advice, Max Kato for those who may be
Speaker 1: struggling this holiday season.
Speaker 2: The holidays have a way of making good memories even better,
Speaker 2: bad memories even worse, and so as you head into
Speaker 2: the holiday season, just equip yourself for that. Equip yourself.
Speaker 2: Realize that this is going to be a megaphone season
Speaker 2: and if you've had a hard year, it's going to
Speaker 2: feel even worse as you head into the end of
Speaker 2: the year. So go on the offensive. Go on the
Speaker 2: offensive and say, Okay, I'm going to pray about it,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be aware that this is going to happen.
Speaker 2: I'm going to do my best to talk myself off
Speaker 2: the ledge, but when I can't, I'm going to enlist
Speaker 2: the help of friends. In fact, it would be advisable
Speaker 2: if you've had a hard year to line up two
Speaker 2: or three buddies or girlfriends and say, hey, can I
Speaker 2: text you when I'm passing through a hard time? Can
Speaker 2: I call you if I get really down get the blues?
Speaker 2: Would you be there to help me? And line up
Speaker 2: some moral support, get the cavalry lined, and then in
Speaker 2: line with what we're talking about, be one who gives.
Speaker 2: Volunteer at the soup kitchen, show up at the salvation army.
Speaker 2: Found the people who have less than you, and there's
Speaker 2: always somebody who has less than me, and just be
Speaker 2: a person who's a giver and that could offset this
Speaker 2: title wave of sadness that might be coming your way.
Speaker 1: That is great advice. They should listen to my show
Speaker 1: every night and pick up the book How Happiness Happens
Speaker 1: by Max Luketo, shouldn't they hope?
Speaker 2: So? Yeah, how long has your show been on? Somebody
Speaker 2: was asking me that today.
Speaker 1: The truth. Yeah, I started full time part time in
Speaker 1: September of nineteen seventy.
Speaker 2: Four, unbelievable.
Speaker 1: And then I graduated high school in seventy eight, and
Speaker 1: I have been on the air consistently except for four
Speaker 1: months after Sheilah was born, was the only time I
Speaker 1: have been off the air for more than a week
Speaker 1: or two since nineteen seventy eight.
Speaker 2: That is forty one years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have been on the air forty five years
Speaker 1: full time, forty one years.
Speaker 2: I can ask you a question about your radio work
Speaker 2: when did you discover this? Really? I just think it's
Speaker 2: such a beautiful symmetry, this way of combining music with
Speaker 2: message that you've done so well through the years. You
Speaker 2: know what I'm talking about. You give a heartfelt talk
Speaker 2: or I just talk of your life, and then there's
Speaker 2: the song you select. It's just perfect to reflect that well.
Speaker 1: My dad was a musician and a lyricist. He loved
Speaker 1: lyrics and he was a character. Okay, one thing that
Speaker 1: was consistent in our lives was his love of music.
Speaker 1: And he played in a band. He played the guitar,
Speaker 1: and he if you said any thing, if you said,
Speaker 1: you know, it's raining outside, he would either start singing Rain, Rain,
Speaker 1: go away, or he would make up goofy lyrics. So
Speaker 1: he had all these goofy songs that became a part
Speaker 1: of our family's vernacular that my sister and I still
Speaker 1: sing today. That mean absolutely nothing to anybody else, but
Speaker 1: they were a part of the fiber of our family.
Speaker 1: So I developed that love as well. And I've always
Speaker 1: written poems and I write lyrics, and I love lyrics.
Speaker 1: The thing that hooks me with a song is do
Speaker 1: the lyrics tell a story? Do they do they touch
Speaker 1: my heart. Do they you know? Do they inspire me?
Speaker 1: And so when I was in my twenties, I started
Speaker 1: taking listeners, stories, phone calls, or my stories and mixing
Speaker 1: them with music. I love painting a picture with words,
Speaker 1: and the colors that I choose are the songs, the
Speaker 1: lyrics of the songs.
Speaker 2: Do you recall when you first had the idea to
Speaker 2: try this format? Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I typed up a proposal and I gave
Speaker 1: it to my then program director. I still have it
Speaker 1: somewhere in my files. I haven't seen it for twenty years,
Speaker 1: but it's somewhere in my files.
Speaker 2: Were they enthused at the idea? Or did you have
Speaker 2: to persuade them?
Speaker 1: She stuck a yellow sticky note on the front that
Speaker 1: said Dana Horner was my general manager. Here's another damn
Speaker 1: proposal from Delilah. What are we going to do with her?
Speaker 1: And Dana looked at it and he said, you know,
Speaker 1: let's give it a shot. What have we got to lose?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: So they gave me permission to try this out, and
Speaker 1: the show shot to number one in like one or
Speaker 1: two rating periods. And you agree, Yeah, it's been blessing
Speaker 1: me ever since.
Speaker 2: Well, it is a gift. It is a gift.
Speaker 1: So when did you know you had the gift of
Speaker 1: impacting hearts with your words? You write in such a
Speaker 1: power howful way that your words and your examples and
Speaker 1: your illustrations just were like a beat of a drum
Speaker 1: to my heart, so impactful. Just your composition is like
Speaker 1: an orchestrated song that's staccato. It's so moving and so dah.
Speaker 2: Just you and I follow a parallel path in some degree.
Speaker 2: I finished seminary in the mid to late seventies. In
Speaker 2: the first church job I ever got was in seventy nine,
Speaker 2: and so I'm forty one years into ministry. So we've
Speaker 2: been kind of trucking along in the same pace.
Speaker 1: I bet you haven't been fired as many times as
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 2: Have you been fired? Oh?
Speaker 1: A dozen times?
Speaker 2: Are you serious? I'm serious they made a mistake by
Speaker 2: firing you. Somebody's regretting that pink slip. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I like to say, I do the I told you
Speaker 1: so dance? Or how do you like me?
Speaker 2: Now? I still got fourteen rejection letters from when I
Speaker 2: first tried to get a book published. Really yeah, but
Speaker 2: I eventually did sign a contract with the very guys
Speaker 2: who refused my first manuscript, and they they've always been
Speaker 2: a bit apologetic. They're great. You know, I don't fault
Speaker 2: anybody for crying out loud. They get a thousand manuscripts,
Speaker 2: you know, a month across their desk. But to their credit,
Speaker 2: one of my publishers used to have framed up on
Speaker 2: their walls a series of rejection letters that they had
Speaker 2: sent out to authors whose books later became good sellers.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't want that job of trying to, you know,
Speaker 2: forecast what books are going to do well, which ones
Speaker 2: are not.
Speaker 1: You know, I love your books because you just talk
Speaker 1: from your heart.
Speaker 2: Well, and I can say the saying this is the
Speaker 2: most pleasant conversation I've had in forty eight hours.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm going to pray that God would bless your book,
Speaker 1: bless you and your family, and that in this dark
Speaker 1: world that we live in, that people would choose happiness
Speaker 1: and choose joy.
Speaker 2: Thank you, and thank you for being such a purveyor
Speaker 2: of happiness in our world. And I'm certainly a recipient
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 1: Thank you, hun God bless you.
Speaker 2: All Right.
Speaker 1: Wow, that was inspiring and healing. Talking with Max Lucato
Speaker 1: about his new book. We ended up talking about so
Speaker 1: many things. His new book is called How Happiness Happens.
Speaker 1: But anything you read by Max, I promise you. I
Speaker 1: promise you. Pick up any book he's written and your
Speaker 1: heart will be touched. You cannot read his words without
Speaker 1: being moved. But How Happiness Happens was just published and
Speaker 1: it is out now. Look for Max Lucato wherever books
Speaker 1: are sold and be inspired. He such an inspirational man.
Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on this episode of Love
Speaker 1: Someone with the Lila