1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,240 Speaker 1: Buggle up and hold on tight. We got it for 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: you here. It is a Strawberry letter subject my wife 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: wants to be a supersized model. Dear Stephen Shirley. I 4 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: am forty. I'm a forty year old man and my 5 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 1: wife is thirty six. After my wife had our two sons, 6 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 1: she gained a lot of weight. I love her so much, 7 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,080 Speaker 1: and I've tried to encourage her to lose weight by 8 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: working out and eating right, but she won't stick to 9 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: a diet and exercise plan. I was honest with her 10 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: and let her know that I was not sexually attracted 11 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: to her anymore. She promised to work harder to lose 12 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,240 Speaker 1: the weight. Our youngest son is now six years old, 13 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: and she has not lost any of the weight she 14 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: gained during the pregnancy. I told her that I loved 15 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: her curves, but I encouraged her to stay focused and 16 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: lose the weight. She tried every diet plan that is 17 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: out there, and I did the diets with her each time. 18 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: One day she came home from the gym, she was 19 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 1: really excited and told me a man approached her and 20 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: another girl about being plus sized models for his new 21 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 1: clothing line. She said that the guy was going to 22 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: pay her to take a few pictures, and they had 23 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 1: already set a date for the photo shoot. She told 24 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: me this guy really boosted her self esteem and made 25 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,040 Speaker 1: her feel better about being heavier than she's ever been. 26 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 1: So despite what I think and say, my wife has 27 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: been on cloud nine. And she changed her wardrobe by 28 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: buying bigger pants and dresses, and she stopped going to 29 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: the gym. I don't want to crush her spirits and 30 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: tell her that she's too heavy, but I'm not going 31 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: to sit back and watch her struggle to get up 32 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: from a chair or breathe heavily when walking short distances. 33 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 1: I don't want to ruin my marriage over her physical appearance, 34 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 1: but I am not going to allow her to let 35 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 1: her healthcare her health decline. What do I do? What 36 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: can I do? Please help? Okay, this is an issue here. 37 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: I understand because at first, you know, I was thinking, well, 38 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: men are visual. You know, they don't like for women 39 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: and their wives to change. They usually want them just 40 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: the way they were when they met and all of that. 41 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:11,679 Speaker 1: And we as women always want our men, our men 42 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,920 Speaker 1: to change, We want them to evolve. You know where 43 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:17,639 Speaker 1: you get your hair cut like this, you know, wear 44 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 1: this suit or whatever. We're always laying out your clothes 45 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: and stuff like that, but men want you to stay 46 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 1: the same usually, So this is this is an issue 47 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: because you're concerned about her health. And since she stopped 48 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: going to the gym and I'm assuming stop the diet, 49 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,799 Speaker 1: then that has become an issue for you, whereas before 50 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: it was just about you know, her looks and all 51 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 1: of that. But I gotta stop you here because you know, 52 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: you gotta know that men lose weight way easier and 53 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 1: quicker than women do. So just because you're dieting and 54 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 1: working out with her and you're losing weight and she's not, 55 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 1: come on, it takes us a minute. Okay. Our bodies 56 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 1: are built to have babies things like that, so we 57 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: have you know, more fat on us and curves and 58 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,239 Speaker 1: things like that. So maybe you need to be a 59 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: little more patient with her when it comes to dieting 60 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 1: and exercise because it's not going to just drop off 61 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: like yours will. So she met a man at a 62 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: gym that really boosted her self esteem, she said, and 63 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 1: made her feel better about being heavier. Now, you know, 64 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: which is a good thing. If someone boost your self esteem. 65 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:26,080 Speaker 1: But you should feel that way about yourself anyway, and 66 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,639 Speaker 1: you should not lose weight for anyone. You shouldn't lose 67 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:30,920 Speaker 1: it for your husband or this guy that wants to 68 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: make your plus size model. You have to feel that 69 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: way about yourself. You have to want to get healthy. 70 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: And if you're struggling getting up out of chairs, and 71 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: if you're breathing heavily and all of that, that is 72 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 1: going to be an issue, if not now, and it 73 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 1: looks like it already is now, definitely further down the line. 74 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: You want to be here. You want to be healthy 75 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: for your children, your your youngest son is six years old, 76 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 1: So perhaps you need a different approach. You know, it's exciting, 77 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: you know, instead of telling her the bad things come 78 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: to her, you know, um with positives. You know, honey, 79 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 1: you're looking better. I want you to be here with me. 80 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: I want you to stay healthy, you know. Let encourage 81 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 1: her to stay on her diet and things like that 82 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: and encourage her self esteem. Okay, you're beautiful. I love you. 83 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,599 Speaker 1: We're gonna do this together. We're in the marriage together, 84 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: all right. So try that approach. Try that approach and 85 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: see how that works, and and just keep reminding her 86 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 1: that her health is the most important thing. Junior. Yeah, 87 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: well you said, what can I do please help? Well, 88 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,479 Speaker 1: first thing you do, you can start by apologizing. I 89 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: would go ahead and apologize to my wife. Is she 90 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: struggling with the kids, with the weight, the whole? Nothing? 91 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:43,279 Speaker 1: Matter of fact, my grandmother was six one thirty pounds. 92 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,279 Speaker 1: She's a plus size model. She was actually plus now. 93 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: She wouldn't even know magazines or nothing, but that's how 94 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:53,039 Speaker 1: she carried herself like she was. Oh no, she kept 95 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: if you came over that and how she might see 96 00:04:55,560 --> 00:05:00,200 Speaker 1: something you want to see. But I'm telling you she ever. 97 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: I know, I'm not one ever seeing my grandmother's breast. 98 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 1: Just just said just hanging out the wide what just 99 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: hanging out the side? Kept hugown open, I never closed it. 100 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you might go in that room and see 101 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: something when you come on with us. So, I don't 102 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,840 Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. Being always been me. I 103 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: don't have a like woman in my family. I don't 104 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: know women in my family been big. So I don't 105 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: know what is you over here talking about? You You'll 106 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: never know. My grandma was married four times, wrong times. 107 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: Somebody kevit Wolden. I don't know what she was doing. 108 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 1: She kept huff she had people changing religions. But my 109 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 1: grandma started off, started off as a Muslem. But when 110 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: he left, he was Christian. She brought the Lord. She 111 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:49,280 Speaker 1: saved the man life. Man now he didn't make it. 112 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: Now he all got the lowest soundwiches. Now this fried 113 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: poach chops in his hand. Tell you when't even touched 114 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 1: that stuff. But he kept. My grandmother came out that 115 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: room and it was something else. I don't know what 116 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:05,880 Speaker 1: you want room with your wife find I was going on. 117 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: That's right? What size was one? Three thirty pounds? Wow? Yeah, 118 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:22,359 Speaker 1: all right, that was funny. We need to recap the 119 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 1: subject is my wife wants to be a super sized model. 120 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: Forty year old man wrote in his wife is thirty six. 121 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,799 Speaker 1: After they had their two sons. Uh. Wife, he gained 122 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: a lot of weight, as women tend to do. We 123 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,719 Speaker 1: gain weight when we have children. Uh. He says he 124 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: loves her so much. He wanted to encourage her to 125 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: lose weight by working out and eating right, but she 126 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: won't stick to a diet and an exercise program. That's 127 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: probably because of the way you're talking to her. About it. 128 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: You said you were honest with her. You let her 129 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,679 Speaker 1: know that you were not sexually attracted to her anymore. 130 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:56,480 Speaker 1: Your youngest son is six years old. You love her curves, 131 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: but you want her to stay focused on losing the weight. 132 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,479 Speaker 1: She's tried every diet plan, all of that. One day 133 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 1: she came home from the gym really excited because a 134 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 1: man had approached her there about being an over a 135 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 1: plus size model. So she was really excited. And now 136 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: she stopped going to the gym and paying attention to 137 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 1: her health. Now she's eating more and she's buying bigger 138 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: size clothes. The problem comes in is that she has 139 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: trouble getting in, you know, getting in and out of chairs. 140 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 1: She's breathing real heavily. So now you're concerned about her health, 141 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 1: which is how you should have started the conversation. And 142 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: maybe it wouldn't have been a turn off to her 143 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: or made her feel like she has low self esteem. 144 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: So anyway, so you want to know what should you do. 145 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 1: You got to encourage her more and you know, build 146 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: her up more. And like I said, men lose weight 147 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,280 Speaker 1: faster than women, So don't think that just because you're 148 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 1: losing it fast, she's going to do the same thing. 149 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: That's not the issue. So what should you do? We 150 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: heard from Junior. Now your turn, Jay, look ahead, look ahead. Due. 151 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: First of all, there are a lot of big people 152 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,080 Speaker 1: who are in shape. Okay, now she might she can 153 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 1: get in shape and still be big. What you need 154 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,800 Speaker 1: to do is your little skin ass need to eat up. 155 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: That's what she needed. He needs to put some weight 156 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: on your ass. The only problem, the only present in 157 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: the in the house to have the problem with weight 158 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: is you. Because she seems to be happy with the 159 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: weight she has. Let me tell you what big women 160 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: can do. Junior came from a big women family, so 161 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 1: did out. My mama never was skinny and could run 162 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: my ass down in damn she she caught me, She 163 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 1: would catch me. She was as big and she wasn't 164 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 1: as tall as you. My mom was like three, like 165 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,319 Speaker 1: three eleven way probably like three hundred pounds. But when 166 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:55,440 Speaker 1: she picked up speed, my mom was really picked up, Shirley. 167 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 1: When she picked up speeding, you could hit him feet pounding. 168 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,880 Speaker 1: I mean, we're in got it got louder and louder. 169 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 1: So dude, Yolas need to eat ja. I just know 170 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 1: he's because he complaining about her, so you'll look thin ass, 171 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 1: all right, you'll look thin as you need to be 172 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,679 Speaker 1: walking around the house eating every time we look at you. 173 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: You need to have a sandwich in your damn hand. 174 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:28,839 Speaker 1: All right, Encourage your girl because I love you, and 175 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: if you love her, you put some weight on your ass. Okay, 176 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,319 Speaker 1: that's all. I like it, Jay, I like it. We'll 177 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: take it. I like it a lot. All right, here 178 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 1: we go. Subject. My wife wants to be a supersized model. 179 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:43,559 Speaker 1: What do you have to say to this forty year 180 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 1: old man? Temmy who wrote this letter is the biggest 181 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: and best thing that has ever happened to you. I 182 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 1: used to live in this world, Shirley and Carlin knows 183 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 1: that this used to be my world right here side sixteen. 184 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 1: It up a out of butt and a shout half cut. 185 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you got me reminiscing key wee, big baby. Oh. 186 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:13,599 Speaker 1: I had some girls that was off there, Oh kind of. 187 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. We used to do some things. 188 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: We used to do some things that you didn't know 189 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: nothing about. Let me tell you something you wanna be. 190 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: You wouldn't be knocking this if you did the things 191 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 1: I did with big hunting Kiwee and Cotta. We used 192 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: to do the biscuit booted brunch. Do you understand me? 193 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:32,199 Speaker 1: Your biscuit booted brug That is when we would come 194 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,680 Speaker 1: to breakfast naked with nothing but biscuits and make love 195 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,319 Speaker 1: right there on the table. It wasn't your biscuit booted 196 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,439 Speaker 1: brun do you re me? And then we had the 197 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:45,599 Speaker 1: freaking the freaking fruit madly, Oh my god, is that 198 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: That's when we get nothing but fruit, just all kinds 199 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,719 Speaker 1: of fruit and cut it up, and me and my 200 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 1: baby they're neked eating fruit. You feed me, I feed you. 201 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 1: We're making love in the middle. Do you understand that? 202 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 1: And then the farting old chicken wang second, Oh, that's 203 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: when we are both folded up and it looked like 204 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 1: two chicken wing folded together, the farty fold chicken wing 205 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: you me. And then the stiket sticket bang bang boy 206 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 1: junior hat the stickt stick bang boy. We rolled ourselves 207 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 1: around and limon juice and then we get and then 208 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 1: we rolled ourselves and sugar and we get mad. It's 209 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 1: the stiket sticking bang my baby, It's the greatest thing 210 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: I've ever done. And last but not least. Last, but 211 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 1: not least, was the sugar Shake. But sugar shake, that's 212 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,439 Speaker 1: brown sugar stuck all on it and we just sit 213 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: there dancing in the living room. Shake it all right, 214 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: I'm saying, sugar shake. We gotta go. Stay with you, 215 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 1: missing man all right? Listen, email us or Instagram here 216 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 1: your thoughts on today Strawberry. Let a good job guys 217 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey f M, and check out the Strawberry 218 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:01,400 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand you're listening. See the Stained Harday 219 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: Morning Show