Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hey, Chelsea.
Speaker 2: Well, we have a great guest today.
Speaker 3: Everyone knows her from Reno nine one one, Bridesmaid and
Speaker 3: now Saint Dennis Medical and Wendy McClendon Covey's joining us now.
Speaker 4: Hello.
Speaker 2: Wendy, Hi, baby, Hi, Hi.
Speaker 4: Hi, Wendy McClendon covey, Good morning, Good morning to you.
Speaker 1: Was that your brother helping you set up your podcast?
Speaker 2: That was my husband, my brother husband.
Speaker 1: My brother husband. Hi, It's so nice to see you.
Speaker 2: Where's good to see you.
Speaker 4: I tried to see you at the night we were at
Speaker 4: the Critics' Choice Awards together.
Speaker 1: I saw you, but I didn't see you.
Speaker 2: Good job with that PS.
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: That was amazing because you had the unenviable position of
Speaker 2: having to make everybody happy after the city had burned
Speaker 2: to the ground and that show had been rescheduled three times,
Speaker 2: and you nailed it. You were fantastic. Thank you, Thank
Speaker 2: you so much, Wendy. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4: I'm Wendy and I share a gynecologist and his name
Speaker 4: is David Allan Greer. So I first want to just
Speaker 4: talk about your experience working with him, because I have
Speaker 4: never ever been able, nor will I ever Wendy be
Speaker 4: able to take that man seriously as an actor, as
Speaker 4: a person, as a skier. I tried to ski with
Speaker 4: him once.
Speaker 1: I don't remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he tried to tell
Speaker 1: me he could ski.
Speaker 4: And this was before I became the skier that I
Speaker 4: am today, before I'm a pretty decent and competent skier.
Speaker 1: Now, yeah you are, thank you, thank you. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4: And I worked hard to get there, you know, like
Speaker 4: I took it very seriously, like almost like a college degree.
Speaker 4: But David, like the idiot that he is, and will
Speaker 4: always remain trying to convince me that he's the one. Actually, no,
Speaker 4: I have to give him a little bit of credit.
Speaker 4: He's the one who got me back into skiing because
Speaker 4: he took me skiing on the West Coast. I don't
Speaker 4: remember if we were in Tahoe or we were in
Speaker 4: maybe Aspen Comedy Festival. It was something where there was
Speaker 4: like a comedy festival related, so.
Speaker 2: It must have been Aspen.
Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, let's go skiing.
Speaker 4: I said I don't have any ski clothes and was
Speaker 4: like springish, and he said, you don't need any you
Speaker 4: just need jeans. And like, you know a vest, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, since when? Because I grew up in New Jersey,
Speaker 4: so I skied on the East coast, right, and so
Speaker 4: he convinced me to go skiing.
Speaker 1: We went skiing.
Speaker 4: We went out for about an hour and a half
Speaker 4: until he started complaining he was too cold in the
Speaker 4: springtime he had. He was the one who dragged me
Speaker 4: out there and then started complaining, and finally I told
Speaker 4: him to get off the mountain. I was having a
Speaker 4: really good time on my own, you know, I was like,
Speaker 4: leave me alone. And that was when I discovered that
Speaker 4: skiing could be actually pleasurable when when other people weren't
Speaker 4: with you, and warmer weather, when you didn't have to
Speaker 4: put on all that gear. And so he kind of was.
Speaker 4: He was kind of the person that re introduced me
Speaker 4: to adult skiing. So I do want to give him
Speaker 4: that shout out, but I've had so many personal experiences
Speaker 4: with him as a friend.
Speaker 1: That I don't want to give him any credit beyond that.
Speaker 2: Okay, you're blowing my mind that he skis at all, Well,
Speaker 2: he doesn't, and because he doesn't like to leave the
Speaker 2: house the David I know. Now Again, I've only known
Speaker 2: him for a year or two, you've known him for
Speaker 2: a lot longer, but that he would willingly go and
Speaker 2: ski or do something physical that's amazing to me.
Speaker 1: Or do something fun.
Speaker 4: Yes, I don't know what's happened to him over the
Speaker 4: past couple of years because I haven't stayed in touch
Speaker 4: with him.
Speaker 1: I think I haven't hung out with him probably in
Speaker 1: like ten years. But when.
Speaker 4: Whenever I see him, I just think of that day
Speaker 4: on the mountain, and I just think of I mean,
Speaker 4: he is he is one of our funniest people.
Speaker 2: He is he really is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and tell me about what it's like working with him.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, so you and I are roughly the same age.
Speaker 2: So we both watched in Living Color. Uh huh right, yeah,
Speaker 2: and that was a pretty mind blowing show, yes at
Speaker 2: the time, and he was so damn money on that
Speaker 2: and in anything he does. So when I heard that
Speaker 2: he was doing this show, Saint Dennis Medical, I couldn't
Speaker 2: say yes fast enough. And when I'm on set, I
Speaker 2: feel like I just catch myself staring at him, like, Wow,
Speaker 2: you're really right there and we know each other and
Speaker 2: you know who I am, And this is crazy to
Speaker 2: me that this is where my life is. So when
Speaker 2: we're in a scene together, I basically turn into an
Speaker 2: audience member.
Speaker 1: Okay, you forgot to save my life.
Speaker 4: So you respect him? Oh yes, yeah, that's the difference
Speaker 4: between you and me. I don't have any respect for him. Actually,
Speaker 4: we should book him on this podcast because I would
Speaker 4: like to tell him to his face.
Speaker 2: I tell him. I think he needs to hear it.
Speaker 4: But I like that you do respect him because he
Speaker 4: is very entertaining and obviously the show is a huge chant.
Speaker 4: Congrats on all the nominations you guys received. Well the Critics'
Speaker 4: Choice nomination for sure, and congrats on CEAS and two.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 4: Also, congrats on being one of the funniest women out there,
Speaker 4: because you make me fucking laugh what I mean a
Speaker 4: lot of you. Yeah, you do. You make you make
Speaker 4: everybody laugh. You're ridiculous.
Speaker 1: You and Carrie.
Speaker 4: Kenny Silver on Reno nine one one is just too
Speaker 4: fucking funny.
Speaker 1: These two are ridiculous together. Well, the whole cast of.
Speaker 4: Rena nine one one deserves an award every year just forever.
Speaker 1: Having done that show.
Speaker 2: Well, you you have some fun with us, didn't you.
Speaker 2: I did?
Speaker 4: I did a guest star on that show years and
Speaker 4: years ago. I was so I was, Yes, it was,
Speaker 4: which was also a ridiculous experience. It was so fun
Speaker 4: to be a part of that show because you guys
Speaker 4: improved so much and everyone was always just about to
Speaker 4: break and always laughing in the middle of scenes.
Speaker 1: And that's really what I Those are the only kinds of.
Speaker 4: Productions I like to be involved in, is when people
Speaker 4: are breaking on camera.
Speaker 2: Well, we were lucky to get you, and you were
Speaker 2: so cool about it because I remember, you know, Reno
Speaker 2: was just like a fly by the seat of our
Speaker 2: pants kind of show like permits. Never heard of her,
Speaker 2: you know, we never got fermits for anything. It was
Speaker 2: just gorilla shooting. So we needed cars for some reason.
Speaker 2: We needed cars to drive by and it wasn't safe,
Speaker 2: but you said, oh, you can use mine. I'm turning
Speaker 2: it in tomorrow. It doesn't matter. You can thrash it.
Speaker 2: And it was like, that's a good girl, right there,
Speaker 2: she will go there, yes, of course, and she's hilarious.
Speaker 2: So yeah, all in the name of comedy, right, Wendy,
Speaker 2: that's right, that's right.
Speaker 4: So tell me about your life. What's happening, what's happening
Speaker 4: in your personal life. So this is your husband brother
Speaker 4: that set us your podcast for you.
Speaker 2: Yes, and right now we're in New Orleans.
Speaker 1: Oh what are you doing there?
Speaker 2: We have the tiniest condo in the French Quarter and
Speaker 2: we come out here as often as we can. I
Speaker 2: love this city. I cannot tell you what kind of
Speaker 2: hold it has on me. Wow. But we hadn't been
Speaker 2: able to get out here since right around New Year's
Speaker 2: so we needed to come out and just check on things,
Speaker 2: do some housekeeping, and of course we're gonna have fun
Speaker 2: and try to hear some music and stuff. But we've
Speaker 2: missed Marti Gral this year. We're missing jazz best we
Speaker 2: missed we missed French Quarter beest. But doesn't matter. I
Speaker 2: just love it here.
Speaker 4: I feel like there's always a festival happening in the
Speaker 4: French Quarter always.
Speaker 2: And when we got here there were three parades. Three parades.
Speaker 2: We couldn't our cab couldn't even get us to our house.
Speaker 2: They had to drop us off at the park and
Speaker 2: we just walked our luggage through the.
Speaker 1: Through the preade.
Speaker 2: Quarter. Yeah, pretty much became you should.
Speaker 4: Have immersed yourself in the parade, and so you got
Speaker 4: to your house.
Speaker 2: I know I should have, just you know, disrobed.
Speaker 1: Do you ever run into Amy Schumer down there?
Speaker 4: Because I was recently when I always did a show
Speaker 4: down there, I went to her house in the French Quarter.
Speaker 2: I heard that she has a house, and no, I
Speaker 2: I've never run into her.
Speaker 4: Oh you too, need to connect. You two would really
Speaker 4: get on like a house on fire.
Speaker 2: Really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to put you on a text with her.
Speaker 2: Do you know if she has a big house, because
Speaker 2: like I said, we've got a tiny little place because
Speaker 2: I don't want to I don't want to worry about
Speaker 2: a big house.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, it's not crazy or anything
Speaker 4: like that. It's it's normal. It's normal size. She does
Speaker 4: have a pool in the backyard, but it's not Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but it's not a crazy house. Amy's not crazy like that.
Speaker 4: She's like, you know, she's pretty normal. Now, you have
Speaker 4: a house in Spain, I do that is not.
Speaker 2: A normal Oh my god.
Speaker 1: No, And I'm not going to pretend that it is.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: But do you you must go there a lot.
Speaker 1: I do go there. I go there in the summer.
Speaker 4: I we rent out that house a lot because you know,
Speaker 4: it is so ridiculous, so in order to justify it,
Speaker 4: I have to rent it out.
Speaker 1: But I do go there with it.
Speaker 4: I go there like I'll be there in June for
Speaker 4: a week and hopefully I'll spend like the month of
Speaker 4: September or October, whatever my schedule allows. I share that
Speaker 4: house with a lot of my friends and family, and
Speaker 4: it's the biggest It's one of the best gifts I've
Speaker 4: ever given myself, as the house in Maorca.
Speaker 1: Catherine's been there, gorgeous.
Speaker 4: It's kind of like a slice of I remember looking
Speaker 4: at this house, and you know, places speak to you
Speaker 4: as you're talking about New Orleans, right, which is such
Speaker 4: a magical place everyone if you haven't been to New Orleans,
Speaker 4: once you go, you understand there's just something there that
Speaker 4: is not available anywhere else in any other city in
Speaker 4: the United States. And I'm not sure about the world.
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, maybe there's parts of Paris I
Speaker 4: feel like the French Quarter or something, but which was
Speaker 4: why what It's probably called the fucking Front Quarter, But
Speaker 4: I just.
Speaker 1: Pieced that together.
Speaker 4: As I was saying it, I'm like, oh, but you
Speaker 4: know when you find something and you're like whll wha ooh,
Speaker 4: this is like my childhood, like it came, It came
Speaker 4: from my child my childhood memories. It evoked all of
Speaker 4: these happy feelings, like the view of the water in
Speaker 4: the setting that it is, and just the boats that
Speaker 4: like the sailboats parked in the bay reminded me so
Speaker 4: much of my childhood growing up on Martha's Vineyard and seeing, Wow,
Speaker 4: it's not the same exact view, obviously, but it's it's
Speaker 4: a very similar view. And I remember we would always
Speaker 4: sit outside on our deck and my dad would every
Speaker 4: time we would be outside, he'd be look at this view,
Speaker 4: look at this view.
Speaker 1: So I've had that imprinted in my brain.
Speaker 4: And when I found my house in Myorca, it was dilapidated,
Speaker 4: it was run down. I had to climb over some
Speaker 4: balustrade and banister to get up there with a couple
Speaker 4: of friends.
Speaker 1: And I remember turning around once we got in.
Speaker 4: Once we broke in and turned around and looked at
Speaker 4: the view, I said, look at this view. I cannot
Speaker 4: believe this house is abandoned. Like I'm going to get it.
Speaker 4: And so that's how I feel every time I'm there, like,
Speaker 4: look at this view and I could get lost in
Speaker 4: that view and sit in front of that water for
Speaker 4: days and not leave the house and be perfectly happy
Speaker 4: as long as somebody's making me a frozen mango decory.
Speaker 2: It's really magical there, it is. You know, the older
Speaker 2: you get, the less it takes to make you happy.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's just a nice view and a good drink,
Speaker 2: I know. Yeah, yeah, So wait, your your house was abandoned.
Speaker 4: You you just found it. You didn't go through a
Speaker 4: realtor or anything. You just it said for sale in
Speaker 4: Spanish on it. But like it was, it was like
Speaker 4: the roofs had caved in, like like the pictures were
Speaker 4: still on the walls, the like you could go up
Speaker 4: halfway up the staircase, but you couldn't go all the
Speaker 4: way up to the top. So it needed just to
Speaker 4: be refortified. There's not a lot of leeway they give
Speaker 4: you in those small towns. You have to kind of
Speaker 4: stick to the plan and just like refortify it, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean. Like the even the banisters outside
Speaker 4: on the terrace, they have to be in like you know,
Speaker 4: my orcin code, And so that's even more beautiful I think,
Speaker 4: so that you can't really you know, you can obviously
Speaker 4: design it however.
Speaker 1: You want in the interior, but what you do on.
Speaker 4: The outside has to have the edifice has to match
Speaker 4: the area. But yes, best gift I ever bought myself.
Speaker 2: Amazing And you earned that, Thank you, You earned that.
Speaker 2: You worked your ass off. So yes, absolutely deserve to
Speaker 2: have a beautiful vacation home.
Speaker 1: Well, you deserve the same. You absolutely deserve the same.
Speaker 4: You don't do you don't have any children, Wendy, Right, Nope, nope, no,
Speaker 4: And how do.
Speaker 1: You feel about that decision?
Speaker 2: Every day? I pat myself on the back for sticking
Speaker 2: to my guns.
Speaker 1: Fucking high five, high fucking five right there.
Speaker 4: I mean, the best thing that the thing that people
Speaker 4: never tell you about making the choice to never have children,
Speaker 4: which nobody ever told me that was a choice either
Speaker 4: I did anyone ever tell you it was a choice
Speaker 4: or did you just inherently know or.
Speaker 2: I just always knew I didn't want them? Yes, but
Speaker 2: I never said that because it seemed like something that
Speaker 2: I was gonna have to do regardless. But I mean,
Speaker 2: even when when I remember being little, being presented with
Speaker 2: a baby doll and being like, oh no, that's so
Speaker 2: much work. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want
Speaker 2: to fuss with this thing. I got stuff to do.
Speaker 2: I've got to go make mud pies. And you know,
Speaker 2: I never wanted them, but I liked barbies. I liked
Speaker 2: you too. She's a career woman.
Speaker 1: Me too.
Speaker 2: I like it's a career woman exactly.
Speaker 4: I had never contemplated this though, but you're absolutely right.
Speaker 4: That's how I felt about like playing mommy and baby
Speaker 4: and with little babies. Like I liked cabbage Patch kids
Speaker 4: because they seemed like they had a little personality.
Speaker 2: Yes, you know what I mean, Like they could change
Speaker 2: their own diaper probably.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And they were like you could get one with
Speaker 4: a dimple and green eyes and brown hair, like you
Speaker 4: could kind of design them or they you know, like
Speaker 4: pick out the ones you had freckles. But they seemed
Speaker 4: like they had a little spunk. They weren't babies, you know.
Speaker 4: I remember getting a pre MEI cabbage Patch. I'm like,
Speaker 4: I don't want this. I want the one with the
Speaker 4: long brown hair, the green eyes and the dimple.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I prease. They they're too they're too young.
Speaker 2: You gotta be fussing with them all the time. Every
Speaker 2: two hours. You gotta feed them. No, thank you want
Speaker 2: nothing to do with that.
Speaker 4: The other thing, though, is what we need to tell
Speaker 4: people who are listening to this, as we have so
Speaker 4: many female listeners, and I'm sure many of them are on,
Speaker 4: you know, thinking and deliberating about whether or not they
Speaker 4: want to be a mother when you choose not to,
Speaker 4: because people go, am I going to regret this decision?
Speaker 4: I don't know anyone that hasn't had a child that
Speaker 4: sits around and goes. I wish I had one. Anyone
Speaker 4: that is child free goes. Thank god, I got through
Speaker 4: that area of time, that period of time where I
Speaker 4: could have been vulnerable to possibly dislodging a child. I
Speaker 4: did not fall for fall prey to that, and I
Speaker 4: made it through the tunnel that where I am no
Speaker 4: longer able or viable to have one, like I feel
Speaker 4: like whoop.
Speaker 1: I got through that test.
Speaker 2: Yep, yep. And then I for a while I looked
Speaker 2: at like Diane Keaton who adopted at fifty, and I think, well,
Speaker 2: is that an option? No? It isn't.
Speaker 1: No, No, it isn't.
Speaker 2: And I love kids and I love that people want
Speaker 2: to have kids. I don't judge that, but boy do
Speaker 2: I feel judged when I tell people, yeah, that was
Speaker 2: never in the plan, never wanted them. I've been told,
Speaker 2: you know, oh, well, that's really selfish. It's really selfish
Speaker 2: of you not to have them, and it's like, wild,
Speaker 2: I don't think it is. I think it's selfish to
Speaker 2: have them because you think you're supposed to and then
Speaker 2: resent them, yeah, and turn them into an unfunny comedy
Speaker 2: routine that a lot of people do. Oh yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2: I think that's repugnant, but whatever.
Speaker 4: I think it's selfish to bring a child into this
Speaker 4: world where you're not one hundred and fifty percent down
Speaker 4: with the idea of what's going to happen, Like, if
Speaker 4: there's any doubt at all, then it's not for you.
Speaker 4: You have to yearn for something the way that we
Speaker 4: would yearn for our careers, the way that we yearn
Speaker 4: to be creative. You have to have that longing and
Speaker 4: that yearning with regard to children, and if it's not there,
Speaker 4: then I think that's your answer.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. And I see people going through IVF and
Speaker 2: doing all these things and it's like, well, I hope
Speaker 2: it happens for you. You clearly want it so much much
Speaker 2: but I have never wanted it. Well, and Greg and
Speaker 2: I you know, we've been married twenty nine years, and
Speaker 2: we would check in with each other. You good, you
Speaker 2: don't want any great and we've always been on the
Speaker 2: same page with it.
Speaker 4: Wow, twenty nine years, that's great. Yeah, and that's why
Speaker 4: you're still together, probably because you never had to be.
Speaker 2: I think so too. I think so too.
Speaker 4: What are you going to do for your thirtieth anniversary?
Speaker 4: Do you want to go to my house in MAJORCA.
Speaker 4: I'm offering it up for you to celebrate your thirtieth
Speaker 4: anniversary wedding anniversary.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's amazing.
Speaker 4: It'll obviously be I'll obviously Pepper and some other couples
Speaker 4: who are celebrating big milestone, so it can turn into
Speaker 4: a big swingers party because.
Speaker 2: I can't mark up.
Speaker 1: I leave well enough alone.
Speaker 2: That would be amazing. And we'll look at the view
Speaker 2: give us.
Speaker 4: Some serious nuggets of wisdoms or not so serious of
Speaker 4: why you have a successful marriage for thirty years, like
Speaker 4: what is the secret?
Speaker 1: What's your secret?
Speaker 2: Well, my secret, my quote unquote secret is before I
Speaker 2: say anything critical of him, I look at myself and
Speaker 2: find out that I'm not so delightful either, So I
Speaker 2: try not to criticize him before I see what I'm
Speaker 2: doing wrong, and I'm usually doing something terrible. I'm a
Speaker 2: pain in the ass. He's very how are you?
Speaker 1: How are you a pain anything?
Speaker 2: Well, you know, listen, I'm an actor, I'm very needy,
Speaker 2: I'm moody, I'm a perfectionist, and I have a short temper,
Speaker 2: whereas Greg is nothing but pure sweetness, is very slow
Speaker 2: to anger, and it is just the most supportive person
Speaker 2: in the world. So if there's anything wrong in our marriage,
Speaker 2: it's usually my fault and I'm willing to admit that.
Speaker 2: I can admit it, and I think admitting it is
Speaker 2: one thing. And also when he does something sweet, I
Speaker 2: tell the whole wide world. So I brag on him
Speaker 2: a lot because he is really like, I couldn't do
Speaker 2: anything that I do if I didn't have that man.
Speaker 2: He's the only one who ever encouraged me to go
Speaker 2: into acting. The rest of my family and friends were
Speaker 2: just like, oh, this is embarrassing, don't do that. Well,
Speaker 2: he was right. Apparently it worked out. He was right.
Speaker 2: But like, he's the one who wakes me up in
Speaker 2: the morning. He gets up before me, he fixes my
Speaker 2: breakfast every morning and sends me off to work. What
Speaker 2: else can I ask for?
Speaker 5: You know what I mean?
Speaker 4: It sounds like you chose very well for your personality.
Speaker 2: He's just my everything. Oh, I was just born to
Speaker 2: love that man.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 4: I love to hear that. That's so, it is very
Speaker 4: heartwarming to hear. Did you make bad choices before you
Speaker 4: met your husband? Like did you have a pattern of
Speaker 4: dating other types of man?
Speaker 2: Yes? I did. I did, but I learned my lessons quickly.
Speaker 2: Like if I do something terrible once, I will not
Speaker 2: do it again. So like if I date a drug
Speaker 2: addict once, that's gonna be the only one. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm done. I see the signs. We're not going to
Speaker 2: go through this again. You can't change people. That's not
Speaker 2: my job. I got other things to do. So there's that.
Speaker 2: And also like my parents and I love them and
Speaker 2: they're still together. They are having their sixtieth wedding anniversary
Speaker 2: next week. But they fought constantly. They got married very young,
Speaker 2: and they fought constantly. For some people when they grow
Speaker 2: up in that they seek that out without realizing it
Speaker 2: because it feels normal. That never felt normal. And I
Speaker 2: won't do it. I'm not going to live in a
Speaker 2: house where there's constant chaos and arguing. So I knew
Speaker 2: that's not something that I was gonna put up with.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of people who call in have a
Speaker 4: lot of trouble breaking that. Like, I'm a big proponent
Speaker 4: of what you're saying, make your first time the last time,
Speaker 4: you know, Like, I don't want to learn same lessons twice.
Speaker 4: I'm busy. I want to move on and learn another lesson.
Speaker 4: I want to, you know, I want to have new experiences.
Speaker 4: But a lot of our people are like how you know,
Speaker 4: Like they have such trouble letting go of toxic relationships,
Speaker 4: and at our age, it's so easy to give the
Speaker 4: advice of like this is just not for you. Like
Speaker 4: the sooner you learn these lessons, the happier and freer
Speaker 4: you become as a person, and then the things, the
Speaker 4: things that you want and think that you need come
Speaker 4: to you without so much effort being put out.
Speaker 2: No, you're one hundred percent right, And if you will
Speaker 2: just do that kind of mental health cleaning, then you
Speaker 2: make space for all that good stuff to come in.
Speaker 2: But if you don't clean house, you're always blocking your blessings,
Speaker 2: which I know is a very woo thing to say about.
Speaker 4: No, no, No, you're in the perfect place to say no.
Speaker 4: But that's okay. I'm wu wu too. I mean, you
Speaker 4: can't be you can't move to California, live here for
Speaker 4: thirty years and not just fucking capitulate, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean. I'm like, okay, I mean I'm two I'm
Speaker 4: two easters away from celebrating that, you know. I mean,
Speaker 4: that's and that's not wu woo. That's actually woo woo
Speaker 4: to me now. Is that's what I consider wo wo
Speaker 4: is like real religion. I'm like, okay, get away from
Speaker 4: me with that. But what do you guys have to
Speaker 4: talk about after thirty years together? Out of curiosity?
Speaker 5: Is that?
Speaker 2: Ever? God?
Speaker 4: Just anything just so natural that you it doesn't even
Speaker 4: it's not an issue because I have trouble keeping a
Speaker 4: conversation with somebody I've been dating for ten months.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think the way to get around that, though,
Speaker 2: is that silence is okay sometimes too.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You don't always have to be entertaining, No, you can
Speaker 2: just sit there, it's fine. And then things do pop
Speaker 2: up that you've never you know, stories you've never told before.
Speaker 2: I don't know, it's just a it does seem like
Speaker 2: you would run out of things to talk about, but
Speaker 2: there are always things and I don't know how to
Speaker 2: explain it, but it never gets boring.
Speaker 4: Back to Saint Dennis Medical, do you guys do a
Speaker 4: lot of improv on that show?
Speaker 2: We do. We do. Our showrunner Eric Legend, he was
Speaker 2: one of the creators of Superstore and American Auto and
Speaker 2: stuff like that. He really does encourage us to get
Speaker 2: it done the scripted way, and then we can improvise
Speaker 2: that there's just something we have to do and they
Speaker 2: usually leave it in. They've been pretty generous with us,
Speaker 2: and I have to say working on that show is
Speaker 2: such a pleasure because our showrunners love their families and
Speaker 2: want to go home at night. So if they don't,
Speaker 2: you know, for the listeners at home, if your showrunner
Speaker 2: doesn't necessarily want to go home, you don't get to
Speaker 2: go home either. So it's great because we're usually done
Speaker 2: by six o'clock every night. Oh what a treat.
Speaker 1: That is ideal. Yeah, in this business, that is very unusual.
Speaker 2: I got the script for that show like four hours
Speaker 2: after The Goldbergs was canceled, so I'm lucky it came
Speaker 2: my way because it was in a during a year
Speaker 2: where they just weren't making a lot of pilots at all.
Speaker 2: I think they made four across network television. Yeah, this
Speaker 2: one got picked up.
Speaker 1: I remember that year.
Speaker 4: I remember when they was like out of I mean
Speaker 4: they used to make like twenty five pilots a year
Speaker 4: and I don't pick up I don't know ten and
Speaker 4: then all of a sudden, there was one year where
Speaker 4: they made four fucking pilots and people were panicking about
Speaker 4: the state of the industry.
Speaker 1: So you were on the goldbergs for ten years, was it?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Ten years?
Speaker 4: And you played a mother and I read that you
Speaker 4: didn't want to play a mother again.
Speaker 1: Isn't it funny? Even playing a mother's exhausting.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I had, look I play, I got
Speaker 2: to relive the eighties again. So I've been in the
Speaker 2: eighties for twenty years, all right, which I've had enough.
Speaker 2: All Right, I get it. The eighties were fun. I
Speaker 2: loved playing a mom, and now I understand like kind
Speaker 2: of what my mom went through at that time, but
Speaker 2: I got that out of my system playing, you know,
Speaker 2: the overbearing mama, and I loved it, but I didn't
Speaker 2: want to do it again, not for a while anyway. Right,
Speaker 2: And so when I read this, you know the character
Speaker 2: of Joyce the administrator, the hospital administrator, she's such an
Speaker 2: odd ball that I found her irresistible and was like, yes,
Speaker 2: I want to do this.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean the role is so perfect for you,
Speaker 4: and you're so perfect in it. Thank you, absolutely, I
Speaker 4: love you. I think you're just so fucking funny, I mean.
Speaker 1: So talented than you, Chelsea.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 4: Okay, we're going to take a break and we'll be
Speaker 4: right back with Wendy McClendon covey and her brother husband.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back.
Speaker 4: And we're back with Wendy McLendon covey. Okay, Wendy, we're
Speaker 4: going to take some callers. Okay, we're your goat advice here.
Speaker 1: So Catherine, what do we have today?
Speaker 3: Well, our first email comes from Andrea. The subject is
Speaker 3: twenty six year old virgin Dear Chelsea, my daughter just
Speaker 3: came to visit me for a couple of weeks. My
Speaker 3: daughter is beautiful, thoughtful, and smart. She graduated college, went
Speaker 3: to cooking school, and is now working successfully as a chef.
Speaker 3: Whenever I ask the subject of dating is always changed
Speaker 3: to another subject or answered with a one word answer.
Speaker 3: She never has a boyfriend and never has and never
Speaker 3: really even kissed someone. And I'm just at a loss
Speaker 3: as to why. I asked her if she was asexual
Speaker 3: and she said no, She's only getting older and I
Speaker 3: don't want her to be alone and never see what
Speaker 3: joy being in a relationship will.
Speaker 2: Bring, let alone sex. I don't know what to do
Speaker 2: or say.
Speaker 3: Please help coming from her loving mom who only wants
Speaker 3: the best for her, Andrea.
Speaker 1: Is she gay?
Speaker 4: Is your daughter a lesbian? And do you have feelings
Speaker 4: about her being lesbian that are preventing her from being
Speaker 4: truthful to you about being a lesbian? Asexual? Isn't the
Speaker 4: only question to be asking this?
Speaker 2: No, totally, totally, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: Like, if she's asking she's a sexual, she's asked her
Speaker 4: she's gay. She didn't mention that part, and she keeps
Speaker 4: mentioning a man, not a person, right, right, So maybe
Speaker 4: she's a lesbian, So maybe you should think about that
Speaker 4: or I don't know. Do you know a lot of
Speaker 4: asexual people, Wendy, I do know a couple.
Speaker 2: I know a couple, I know a couple and look,
Speaker 2: she's twenty six. She could be just very picky. She
Speaker 2: could be gay, that was my first thought as well.
Speaker 2: Or she might have a secret life that you don't
Speaker 2: know anything about sunds.
Speaker 1: Like, that's prob. Or she could be a totally late bloomer.
Speaker 4: You know, some people don't really come into their own
Speaker 4: until they're in their thirties, like sexually. First of all,
Speaker 4: you don't even come into your own sexually until you're
Speaker 4: like forties and fifties for a lot of women, So
Speaker 4: that could be something too. But definitely, you pushing her
Speaker 4: is not going to put her in a relationship that
Speaker 4: has no impact whatsoever on anyone. I would leave the
Speaker 4: situation alone for as long as possible until she comes
Speaker 4: to you with some information that allows you to ask
Speaker 4: further questions. But I would also put it out there
Speaker 4: that if she is a lesbian, if she is a sexual,
Speaker 4: if she does have some secret life that she doesn't
Speaker 4: want you to know about, that you are okay with
Speaker 4: that because you.
Speaker 3: Have to be Yeah, yeah, I mean, and some people,
Speaker 3: I think dating now is so intimidate weird.
Speaker 2: It's weird.
Speaker 4: It's like we went full tilt on the dating apps
Speaker 4: and everyone went bonkers, and now there's like a contraction,
Speaker 4: like people are so disgusted by dating apps and by
Speaker 4: what's available out there that people are like, I'd rather
Speaker 4: be alone.
Speaker 1: So I think we're in that phase of things.
Speaker 4: And plus, our younger generations are not as sexually active
Speaker 4: as we were because there's so much porn and everything,
Speaker 4: so they actually don't need to get it, you know,
Speaker 4: So there's this possibility that she's a sexual.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Also just leave her alone, Like, there's nothing that's sexy
Speaker 4: about talking to your mother about sex. Yeah, that's not
Speaker 4: going to probe her. I mean, that's not going to
Speaker 4: push her. Sorry to say probe. That's not trying to
Speaker 4: true into anything. So back off, mom, Back off.
Speaker 2: Our first caller today is Beth. She is thirty.
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, I've been with my partner for almost seven years.
Speaker 3: I'm thirty and he's fifty two. I'm biologically child free. However,
Speaker 3: last summer, my partner's teenage son moved in with us
Speaker 3: full time from the West Coast to the southeast because
Speaker 3: he was expelled from his school and was having various
Speaker 3: behavioral challenges. The transition was extremely challenging for me personally,
Speaker 3: as someone who has no desire to have kids, so
Speaker 3: much so that I got my tubes removed earlier this year.
Speaker 3: But I also did it for our relationship, as my
Speaker 3: partner and I have different ideas of parenting. At times,
Speaker 3: I do think his son is a good person at heart,
Speaker 3: but his communication is regularly disrespectful and loud. He doesn't
Speaker 3: ever take accountability, which is super triggering for me. My
Speaker 3: partner and I have been in couple's therapy for co parenting,
Speaker 3: which has been helpful for the relationship, but I still
Speaker 3: find myself frustrated with his son's behavior. I absolutely loved
Speaker 3: your book and how you wrote about your relationship with POOPSI, Whoopsie,
Speaker 3: and Oopsie. It really touched me, and I admire how
Speaker 3: you built a relationship with them and became such an
Speaker 3: influence in their life. So my question is this, when
Speaker 3: I'm so frustrated with my partner's son's behavior, how do
Speaker 3: I get over my frustration and irritability? What do you
Speaker 3: think I can or should do to build a us
Speaker 3: relationship with him. I've been in his life since he
Speaker 3: was seven. We've gone on vacations together, we play video games,
Speaker 3: sometimes I drive in places. Do his laundry, occasionally cook
Speaker 3: family dinner for the three of us nightly, among other things.
Speaker 3: But I'm still struggling with the relationship dynamic I have
Speaker 3: with his son. Please help me be a better step mom.
Speaker 3: I'd like to have what you're having.
Speaker 1: Love you so much, Beth, Hi, Beth, Hi, Chelsea.
Speaker 4: Hi, this is Wendy McClendon Covey, our special guest today.
Speaker 6: Hi.
Speaker 2: Hi, Bed Yeah, nice, see too.
Speaker 4: That's nice that you're I mean, first of all, it's
Speaker 4: very nice that you're trying so hard and that you
Speaker 4: want to try hard, you know, and that is a
Speaker 4: difficult situation.
Speaker 1: How old is he again?
Speaker 5: He is fifteen.
Speaker 7: Okay, it was hard in the beginning when he first came,
Speaker 7: I was kind of on the fence because it was
Speaker 7: so hard because I'm the oldest of seven kids. So
Speaker 7: that was also that's like just a component of life.
Speaker 2: Like you've done your mothering.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's was hard, kind of is.
Speaker 7: But now I'm more in those spirit of like, Okay,
Speaker 7: I'm trying to give this a try and just fully
Speaker 7: embrace it. And when I get so irritable and frustrated,
Speaker 7: like this is kind of also been a hard week,
Speaker 7: it makes me I don't want to say, not want
Speaker 7: to try, but it makes me feel just overwhelmed.
Speaker 4: And is he how like what level of disrespect does
Speaker 4: he exhibit to you towards you.
Speaker 7: So he'll get I mean, he's a teenager, so I
Speaker 7: know teenagers have attitudes, but he'll have an attitude or
Speaker 7: a whole talk back. He also doesn't know when enough
Speaker 7: is enough or like when to stop. So like, for example,
Speaker 7: this weekend, we went to the beach and you know,
Speaker 7: hoarsing around. We had fun, and then it's like, okay,
Speaker 7: we're done. But all throughout the rest of the day
Speaker 7: he kept antagonizing and just hitting me. And then I
Speaker 7: was laying in bed Saturday night with my partner and
Speaker 7: he comes in and like hits me on the head,
Speaker 7: like thinking he's joking, and I'm like, I'm trying.
Speaker 5: To go to sleep enough. So it's just also just
Speaker 5: like not knowing when enough is enough.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 5: And I'm also someone that stays very calm.
Speaker 7: I don't like yelling, whereas my partner, you know, they'll
Speaker 7: get in arguments and yell, and so when I say
Speaker 7: something to him or point out, you know, hey, your
Speaker 7: dad is trying to tell you x Y z he
Speaker 7: then will shut down or who'll become nasty back towards me.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Sounds like a typical teenager.
Speaker 7: Yeah, And sometimes I see a lot of myself in him,
Speaker 7: Like when I was a teenager, I was also very
Speaker 7: like headstrong, so I relate to him on some levels.
Speaker 7: We're also both libras, if that means anything to you, but.
Speaker 2: I'm a lilybra as well.
Speaker 4: I go, yeah, let's go great, because I I don't
Speaker 4: get it.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means.
Speaker 5: Just balance and yeah, wanting balance and stuff, but right right.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's just I think it's been hard also because
Speaker 7: I don't want kids for a very very you know,
Speaker 7: long list of reasons. So yeah, I'm just not sure
Speaker 7: what to do in terms of how to not be.
Speaker 5: So triggered and frustrated.
Speaker 7: Because I'm also in my own recovery for mental health,
Speaker 7: so personal responsibility and accountability to me means a lot,
Speaker 7: and it's very, very frustrating to try to build awareness
Speaker 7: around him of like how to take accountability like he's getting.
Speaker 7: He gets in arguments with teachers a lot, and it's
Speaker 7: always the other person's fault, So I think that's that's
Speaker 7: hard for me.
Speaker 4: Too, Yeah, that's annoying well, and but also again he's
Speaker 4: fifteen years old, so his brain isn't fully formed yet, right,
Speaker 4: and it's not going to be for unfortunately for another
Speaker 4: ten years because he's a man. So that's like what
Speaker 4: twenty five twenty six was when their brain's fully formed?
Speaker 1: Is that right?
Speaker 2: Yep?
Speaker 1: Or is it later?
Speaker 3: I want to say, like twenty five to twenty is
Speaker 3: when you're like frontal lobe is done cooking.
Speaker 4: What I've learned when I took my parenting classes for poopsie,
Speaker 4: woopsie and oopsie, what I've learned is like you know,
Speaker 4: when they're they're combative, it's different with a boy. So well,
Speaker 4: when they are combative, it's like you have to be
Speaker 4: in a joking mood with them, Like you can't meet
Speaker 4: their anger with anger, like your husband yelling at him
Speaker 4: when in him yelling like that doesn't do anything. That
Speaker 4: just keeps the cycle going and it's like a storm
Speaker 4: in the sky that's just moving around in different areas.
Speaker 4: But when you meet their anger with like, yeah, I
Speaker 4: hear you. You sound pissed off. You must be pissed. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you sound really pissed off, not validating his feelings, but
Speaker 4: acknowledging how he feels, you know what I mean, not
Speaker 4: saying you're right and that your feeling is justified by like, wow,
Speaker 4: you do seem really pissed off, you know, let me
Speaker 4: give you some space, or like, okay, well, I'll be
Speaker 4: over here when you calm down, you know, when you
Speaker 4: want to talk about it. If you want to talk
Speaker 4: about it, I'm here. You don't have to whatever. Like
Speaker 4: you just kind of throw it back at them in
Speaker 4: the moment that they're in, so that you're not ignoring
Speaker 4: their feelings and it actually makes you feel better because
Speaker 4: you're What we tend to do, I think when we're
Speaker 4: dealing with other people's children is take things so personally
Speaker 4: and it's not personal. Like they're going through puberty. They
Speaker 4: have all these hormones raging through their bodies. Their temper
Speaker 4: is not their own, their emotions are not their own.
Speaker 4: You know, it's a period in their life where they're
Speaker 4: just uncontrolled. It doesn't happen as badly with every teenager,
Speaker 4: but it happens a lot and it sounds like that's
Speaker 4: what's happening with him, you know, And in the moments
Speaker 4: of calm is when you can kind of point things out.
Speaker 4: And since you're a stepmom, it's a very specific dance
Speaker 4: of being like, you know, you want to be like
Speaker 4: a cool person in their life that they can come to.
Speaker 4: You want to like open up that avenue and be like, listen,
Speaker 4: I know this is frustrating, but like, let when you
Speaker 4: want to talk about it, if you ever do want
Speaker 4: to talk about it, I'm here. I'm always here for you,
Speaker 4: you know, and not to like impose yourself on them,
Speaker 4: but to make sure. And it sounds like you're doing
Speaker 4: all those things. You're spending time with him, You're cooking
Speaker 4: dinners every night, do all of the things that put
Speaker 4: the marbles in the jar so that he knows he
Speaker 4: has an ally and someone he can rely on. And
Speaker 4: like the instance of him coming in and smacking you
Speaker 4: on the head in the bedroom when you're done playing,
Speaker 4: like how did you react in that moment?
Speaker 7: I just turned over slowly and looked at him, and
Speaker 7: I was like really, like just I didn't yell at
Speaker 7: him or it was like what did I doing?
Speaker 5: Why did you?
Speaker 7: I just acknowledged maybe this isn't the time and place,
Speaker 7: like it's nine o'clock at night, we had fun at
Speaker 7: the beach earlier, but you know, and his dad has
Speaker 7: noticed the same thing, Like they'll rough house and they'll
Speaker 7: play around, but then it's still the same of like
Speaker 7: he doesn't know when to stop, and if we try to,
Speaker 7: I don't want to say, he gets stern, but like
Speaker 7: more serious of like okay, hey, it's time to stop.
Speaker 7: Then that triggers him and he gets upset and then
Speaker 7: is like, oh, you guys are no fun.
Speaker 5: Or you know, why do you always have a problem, And.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, it's just because he's embarrassed.
Speaker 4: He's embarrassed to get like so how did you react
Speaker 4: when you did that, when you turned over and you
Speaker 4: gave him that look, did he get the message?
Speaker 5: He just walked out great.
Speaker 4: Great, But that's the result you want, like end of that,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, without an argument?
Speaker 1: He got the message.
Speaker 4: So I think you're doing a good job with the
Speaker 4: way you're handling it, by not losing your temper, by
Speaker 4: being available when they need you.
Speaker 1: And you know, when he.
Speaker 4: Gets in fights with his teachers repetitively, it's not about like, oh,
Speaker 4: you know, what's your part in this?
Speaker 1: Because he's not there yet. He's only fifteen years old.
Speaker 1: But it's just acknowledging.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that must be really tough, without laying blame on
Speaker 4: either person, him or the teacher. Be sure that you're
Speaker 4: not doing that, you know, which it doesn't sound like
Speaker 4: you are. But by just being available, available for the
Speaker 4: good moods, for the bad moods, being around there, don't
Speaker 4: allow yourself to be a punching bag. But that doesn't
Speaker 4: warrant fight either. You can just say I'm sorry, I'm
Speaker 4: not interested in this right now. Like you're kind of
Speaker 4: being aggressive, that's fine, you're in a mood. I'm going
Speaker 4: to go over there, or I'm going to go to
Speaker 4: my room, and then when you're ready to talk, come
Speaker 4: get me. I'm always here that kind of attitude. Do
Speaker 4: you get what I'm saying?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I do that that makes sense.
Speaker 7: And I think because it's it's like I want to
Speaker 7: be a support for him, which I think I am, but.
Speaker 1: I like it sounds like you definitely are.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I try.
Speaker 7: And I've known him since, like I said, I you seven,
Speaker 7: and you know, we've had instances where Who'll just come
Speaker 7: and talk to me and start telling me stuff about
Speaker 7: girls or whatever is going on in school and we've
Speaker 7: had some good conversations like why he thinks he lies
Speaker 7: and why he thinks he does and thinks he does.
Speaker 7: And I've noticed that if he is not being yelled at,
Speaker 7: he is also more inclined to be calm, which is,
Speaker 7: you know, the ideal.
Speaker 4: Well, of course, I mean everyone's going to be more
Speaker 4: common they're not being yelled at. Yeah, what do you think, Wendy.
Speaker 2: Well, first question, are they in therapy together?
Speaker 7: He was in anger management classes when he lived back
Speaker 7: out on the West Coast.
Speaker 5: And I'm a big proponent for therapy. I wish he
Speaker 5: would do it, that his dad would kind of push
Speaker 5: to do it. He thinks he doesn't need it, Okay, Well,
Speaker 5: two of.
Speaker 2: Them need to be in therapy together.
Speaker 1: I think Yeah, I think so too. I think that's
Speaker 1: a great idea.
Speaker 2: And I'm I am a little concerned that you have
Speaker 2: been adamant about how you don't want kids, but you
Speaker 2: are taking on this mother role. I don't know that
Speaker 2: that just kind of stuck out to me, like hmm,
Speaker 2: I don't know, Beth.
Speaker 4: I think, at the very minimum, the least that your
Speaker 4: husband can do in exchange for you taking on this
Speaker 4: role that you did not seek out for yourself would
Speaker 4: be to mandate that there is a you know, therapy
Speaker 4: like that, that he goes to therapy with his son,
Speaker 4: or that his son go alone. He's the father, the
Speaker 4: kid is fifteen. He doesn't really have a choice.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter that a.
Speaker 2: Fifteen year old doesn't think they need therapy.
Speaker 4: That's just in valle you know, like, and that has
Speaker 4: to be on him, and you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: that has nothing to do with you. It can't be
Speaker 4: coming from you. It has to be coming from his father.
Speaker 4: And that could be an easy requirement. He wasn't living
Speaker 4: with you guys, and he was going to anger managements.
Speaker 4: That's a sign that he should be continuing in the
Speaker 4: direction of therapy in some capacity for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And you shouldn't be the only one doing all
Speaker 2: the inner work. You know, you're in recovery. You said
Speaker 2: so that that can be very triggering. And I feel
Speaker 2: like that's the biggest piece of the puzzle is the
Speaker 2: two of them need to work on this together.
Speaker 4: So can you talk to your husband about that? Do
Speaker 4: you feel comfortable having that conversation?
Speaker 5: Yeah, for sure, And I think you might be open
Speaker 5: to it.
Speaker 7: I hadn't thought about that before of both of them
Speaker 7: going together, because like my partner, we were together in therapy,
Speaker 7: which we've only what we've been doing it for about
Speaker 7: three months now, which it's it's been helpful, but he's
Speaker 7: admitted and knows he parents from a place of guilt
Speaker 7: of like dad guilt.
Speaker 5: But that's that's in stuff he needs to deal with.
Speaker 6: Not me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and and and he should and that kid should
Speaker 4: just be going to therapy on his own anyway. You know,
Speaker 4: it sounds like he's been uprooted and moved around, like
Speaker 4: he needs to go to therapy. You don't just go
Speaker 4: to anger management classes. And then that's the end of
Speaker 4: the story. You know, there's got to be another transition
Speaker 4: and another phase out and it's only going to be helpful.
Speaker 1: But that has to come from your husband.
Speaker 4: So why don't you have that conversation with your husband
Speaker 4: and be like, listen, this is I'm putting a lot
Speaker 4: of effort here, you know. And also the self work
Speaker 4: that you're talking about, like you know, letting him trie
Speaker 4: like you're doing a great job. So patch yourself on
Speaker 4: the back for that. This kid's not going to unmoor you.
Speaker 4: He's not gonna you know, you're think of yourself as
Speaker 4: a tree. You're a tree and there are leaves and
Speaker 4: there are branches that might wave around through the wind
Speaker 4: and storms, but you were firmly planted in the ground.
Speaker 4: You've done your work, You're in recovery, and this is
Speaker 4: just another way that you can like spread your love around,
Speaker 4: you know, via him, with with all of the components
Speaker 4: in play, and that being one of the major components
Speaker 4: being therapy.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 7: I do really appreciate that because I've really been trying
Speaker 7: and yeah, on the start, it was a debate for me,
Speaker 7: and inner debate of do I stay or do I
Speaker 7: go because of just the trauma I've been through my life,
Speaker 7: you know, being the seven and just mothering and parenting
Speaker 7: is just I like my time being my time. I
Speaker 7: like to have my freedom, and I mean I still
Speaker 7: kind of have that. It was a it was a
Speaker 7: real adjustment in the beginning last fall.
Speaker 1: I bet, I bet.
Speaker 3: I think one way to get a little bit of
Speaker 3: time back is he's fifteen. He can do his own laundry.
Speaker 1: Let's get that off your plate.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't need to be cleaning
Speaker 4: semen out of socks. That's that's yeah, below your pay grade.
Speaker 3: Okay, Beth, will you check in with us and let
Speaker 3: us know.
Speaker 1: How it goes?
Speaker 5: Yes, definitely, thank you. I just want to say thank
Speaker 5: you so much.
Speaker 7: And Chelsea, I look up to you so much and
Speaker 7: value your authenticity like I just, I really am so
Speaker 7: grateful for this opportunity and I just I yeah, I
Speaker 7: just You're an inspiration to me.
Speaker 5: So thank you.
Speaker 1: I love it. Thank you so much. Thank you you.
Speaker 2: As well, Hi beg. All right, well let's take a
Speaker 2: quick break and we can come back with our caller.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, take a quick break, we'll be right back.
Speaker 4: Please tag me for the Special because I get so
Speaker 4: many tags about my books, but I'm not getting as
Speaker 4: many about my special and my special is the newest
Speaker 4: thing out, so I want to make sure all my
Speaker 4: Ardent fans are watching it and tagging me and I'll
Speaker 4: repost you. And yes, it's called the Feeling, And we're
Speaker 4: back with Wendy McLendon covey. How I'm alifluous. It just
Speaker 4: rolls right off, just.
Speaker 2: Roll, you know what.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Wendy McLendon covey.
Speaker 3: Yes, Well, our last caller today is Alexandra. She is
Speaker 3: thirty two. She says, Dear Chelsea, I am in a
Speaker 3: very awkward situation with my neighbor. Me and my neighbor
Speaker 3: became friends this past year over our dogs. Becoming friends,
Speaker 3: we started so annoying. We started going on dog walks
Speaker 3: together and hanging out occasionally, having drinks and things like that.
Speaker 3: We never had any issues until she slept with my
Speaker 3: best friend Jack. When I found out they were texting,
Speaker 3: I told them both they shouldn't sleep with each other
Speaker 3: because it's going to make things very weird between all
Speaker 3: of us, and boy did it. Essentially, they ended up
Speaker 3: sleeping together, both agreeing that it was a one night stand,
Speaker 3: and after he didn't message her because it was a
Speaker 3: one night stand, she started acting really weird. She started
Speaker 3: to take her feelings out on me on our dog walks,
Speaker 3: even though I asked not to be involved. Two times
Speaker 3: she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk,
Speaker 3: and the walk was perfectly fine, until out of nowhere
Speaker 3: she corners me and says things like, I feel like
Speaker 3: I'm just your dog walking friend and we never hang
Speaker 3: out together on the weekends. She started to get really
Speaker 3: possessive over me, to the point where I had some
Speaker 3: friends over for my birthday with my friend Jack included,
Speaker 3: and she got really weird because she wasn't invited. I
Speaker 3: decided that I needed to tell her she can't treat
Speaker 3: me like shit like this before we go out, so
Speaker 3: I replied to a text with the following, I wanted
Speaker 3: to say this before we go out to walk again.
Speaker 3: Since you and Jack slept together, you've taken some of
Speaker 3: your feelings out on me, and I don't want another
Speaker 3: awkward walk. Us being dog friends was never a problem
Speaker 3: before you guys slept together, and I don't feel like
Speaker 3: I should have to explain myself for having close friends
Speaker 3: over for a party for you. Ntex Yeah, I'm cool
Speaker 3: if you are. I never got a response, and this
Speaker 3: was a little while ago. I feel we're both actively
Speaker 3: avoiding each other, Chelsea, what do I do? Our windows
Speaker 3: literally face each other. Alexandra Well, Hi, Hi, Alexandra Well,
Speaker 3: good text, by the way, good text.
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know, you know, she has to
Speaker 4: get over that. I don't know that there's anything you
Speaker 4: can do other than like time will pass. But it's
Speaker 4: gonna be a problem because Jack is your best friend,
Speaker 4: so he's going to be resurfacing right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, to always a little bit of timeless pass now,
Speaker 6: but we've bumped into each other and like not said
Speaker 6: a word because I'm like, I'm not going to back down,
Speaker 6: and she probably feels the same. And yeah, they I
Speaker 6: don't think they've spoken to each other either. They've probably
Speaker 6: I think they said hi in passing, but I just
Speaker 6: been like, no, like you can't just ghost me like that. Yeah,
Speaker 6: I feel like it's really a strange behavior. But I'm
Speaker 6: also not backing down.
Speaker 4: Well, but also who I mean, like really, who gives
Speaker 4: a shit about her?
Speaker 1: And you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: You and your dogs, like like your dog has can
Speaker 4: you can go for a walk without her?
Speaker 6: You don't.
Speaker 4: It's not like a relationship that is built, like you
Speaker 4: have this deep, deep friendship like you were dog walking buddies.
Speaker 4: So until she can actually get her shit together and
Speaker 4: get over it, it was one night stand and that
Speaker 4: take that face value people say all the time and
Speaker 4: to fine with that, and then they're not fine with it,
Speaker 4: and it's so annoying.
Speaker 1: It's like you knew what.
Speaker 4: This was, so I wouldn't worry about extending an olive
Speaker 4: branch or anything. You know, after like a few months
Speaker 4: go by you can like if you want to drop
Speaker 4: a bottle of wine at our front door and be like,
Speaker 4: are you ready to just start walking our dogs again
Speaker 4: or do you need more time?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: You know what I mean, Like you could do something
Speaker 4: cute like that if you want to, but it sounds
Speaker 4: like you don't want to. And by the way, who cares, Like, yes,
Speaker 4: your windows face each other, but you know this is
Speaker 4: why you don't become friends with your neighbors.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I definitely learned my lesson.
Speaker 6: We had some new neighbors moving a couple days ago,
Speaker 6: and now I was just like hello, and also and yeah,
Speaker 6: you're so right. I don't really I've really stopped caring
Speaker 6: about being friends. I think in the beginning it was
Speaker 6: just really weird because our windows literally face each other,
Speaker 6: and like her front door is right there, and I'll
Speaker 6: see her leave and she'll see me leave, and it's
Speaker 6: just like, yeah, I don't care, but our dogs will
Speaker 6: just be like oh my god, you again and like
Speaker 6: my friend like and then I'm just like, no, you
Speaker 6: can't be friends anymore. This friendship's over. Yeah, And we
Speaker 6: like bumped into each other out on a dog walk
Speaker 6: and like nobody else was there. It was really weird.
Speaker 6: It was like six in the morning, and like our
Speaker 6: dogs were like playing with each other and we just
Speaker 6: didn't say a word to each other.
Speaker 2: And I was just like, this is so weird.
Speaker 6: But yeah, I don't really want to be her friend,
Speaker 6: if I'm honest with you, because clearly her friendships you
Speaker 6: have to have like terms and conditions and I'm not
Speaker 6: really do exactly.
Speaker 1: And it's annoying, right, Wendy, don't you agree?
Speaker 2: Like who I mean, it's hard when the dog children
Speaker 2: get involved, I know, But the only thing you can do, Yeah,
Speaker 2: the only sane thing to do is ignore the whole situation. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she's an adult who made an adult decision, and this
Speaker 2: does not have to fall on those shoulders.
Speaker 4: She's an adult who made an adult decision and then
Speaker 4: acted like is acting like a child. So and you
Speaker 4: didn't do anything wrong except for warn them not to
Speaker 4: do it because of this outcome and now you're sitting here.
Speaker 1: You didn't do anything to her.
Speaker 6: No, And I even tried, like before they when they
Speaker 6: were talking about sleeping with each other, I had her
Speaker 6: around and I did like the whole girl coaching, and
Speaker 6: I was just like, I'm going to look after you here,
Speaker 6: and I'm going to tell you not to do it
Speaker 6: or please not to do it, because like and try
Speaker 6: to say it in a nice way, like he is
Speaker 6: my best friend and it wasn't like you're not, but
Speaker 6: also like it just is going to get weird and
Speaker 6: it's like, oh, but it isn't a little bit of fun, okay,
Speaker 6: And I'm just like and I knew he just wanted
Speaker 6: to one nice son anyway, and you made it perfectly clear.
Speaker 6: And then I just had a feeling something crazy was
Speaker 6: going to happen. And then they did it anyway, and
Speaker 6: I was just like, look, I've warned you, and I
Speaker 6: tried to be like the good girlfriend and you didn't listen,
Speaker 6: and now you're just being really strange.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I feel like you don't have to be
Speaker 3: friends with her, but just to like, you know, you've
Speaker 3: said to her, hey, we're cool, and I would just
Speaker 3: act as such like you are going to run into
Speaker 3: her when you do like hey, so and so and like.
Speaker 4: And she's were that's on her, Like I you don't
Speaker 4: have to ingest that, you know what I mean? You be,
Speaker 4: you do, you do your thing. You don't have to
Speaker 4: be silent when you see you can say how are
Speaker 4: you didn't know what?
Speaker 1: Or did you read this or I don't know whatever.
Speaker 4: You guys would normally talk about or talk about something
Speaker 4: related to the dogs. But like, if she's acting strange,
Speaker 4: then that's on her. You haven't done anything, yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: and you warned her I.
Speaker 6: Did.
Speaker 2: You are absolved from any responsibility.
Speaker 6: That's I think why I'm more mad than like sad.
Speaker 6: I just got really angry because I was just like
Speaker 6: I tried to do the right thing by you, and
Speaker 6: really I really didn't need to clearly didn't need to
Speaker 6: like try and look after you.
Speaker 1: So thanks, Okay, Well problem solved. You need to move.
Speaker 5: I keep hoping she will.
Speaker 1: I hope she does too.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm sure she will, all right.
Speaker 2: Thanks for being out in Alexandra.
Speaker 6: Thank you so much, thank you bye bye.
Speaker 4: That this reminds me of an expression from like one
Speaker 4: of my second grade teachers who used to say a
Speaker 4: word to the wise. Who did she say a word
Speaker 4: to the wise? Should be sufficient? That reminded me The
Speaker 4: story is like, don't talk to your neighbors. You know
Speaker 4: you can be you can be neighborly, but don't get
Speaker 4: involved with them.
Speaker 2: Well, since since I'm in New Orleans, I do have
Speaker 2: a folk magic sure or for sketchy neighbors.
Speaker 6: What is it?
Speaker 2: And that is you focus a mirror at their house
Speaker 2: and all their bad energy gets reflected back to them.
Speaker 2: Oh so, you know, depends on how bad they are,
Speaker 2: how sketchy they really are, the you know, whatever happens
Speaker 2: as a result. But we did that with some of
Speaker 2: our neighbors and they moved.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 4: Great, Wendy, wait to wait for the guests to be
Speaker 4: off of the show to tell us that, especially when
Speaker 4: they have two windows fucking facing each other.
Speaker 2: Well, she's gonna listen to this podcast. Error doesn't have
Speaker 2: to be a big one.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, and then you know that's a great that's great.
Speaker 2: I would try it, try it. Yeah, that can happen.
Speaker 1: Okay, Wendy, thank you so much for being on the
Speaker 1: podcast today.
Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4: And when does this have St. Dennis Medical Season two start?
Speaker 2: You know, we start back at work in June, but
Speaker 2: I'm assuming the fall we will be back on NBC.
Speaker 2: So awesome.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and is it Peacock or is it NBC? It's
Speaker 4: NBC the first run and then the next day on Peacock.
Speaker 1: Okay, so everybody can watch Saint Dennis Medical on.
Speaker 4: NBC or Peacock and you can catch up on Peacock
Speaker 4: and you can catch up on Peacock. Watch it first
Speaker 4: and then catch up on it later.
Speaker 2: Exactly.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for being here, love, Thanks for
Speaker 4: having speaking with you.
Speaker 1: All right, have a great day in New Orleans.
Speaker 2: Thank you. Okay, have a good one as well. Talk
Speaker 2: to you soon.
Speaker 1: Bye. Okay.
Speaker 4: My remaining dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates for
Speaker 4: this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in
Speaker 4: Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July fifth.
Speaker 4: We will be the next date that I'm there, July fifth,
Speaker 4: August thirtieth, and then November one and twenty ninth. November
Speaker 4: one and November twenty ninth, I will be in Las
Speaker 4: Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.
Speaker 1: It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you.
Speaker 3: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
Speaker 3: podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea pod.
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 3: And engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law, and
Speaker 3: be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler dot
Speaker 3: com