1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:02,560 Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hey, Chelsea. 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,240 Speaker 2: Well, we have a great guest today. 3 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,760 Speaker 3: Everyone knows her from Reno nine one one, Bridesmaid and 4 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 3: now Saint Dennis Medical and Wendy McClendon Covey's joining us now. 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 4: Hello. 6 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 2: Wendy, Hi, baby, Hi, Hi. 7 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:20,920 Speaker 4: Hi, Wendy McClendon covey, Good morning, Good morning to you. 8 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: Was that your brother helping you set up your podcast? 9 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 2: That was my husband, my brother husband. 10 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: My brother husband. Hi, It's so nice to see you. 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,239 Speaker 2: Where's good to see you. 12 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 4: I tried to see you at the night we were at 13 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 4: the Critics' Choice Awards together. 14 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 1: I saw you, but I didn't see you. 15 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 2: Good job with that PS. 16 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 1: Oh, thank you, Thank you so much. 17 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 2: That was amazing because you had the unenviable position of 18 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 2: having to make everybody happy after the city had burned 19 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,279 Speaker 2: to the ground and that show had been rescheduled three times, 20 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 2: and you nailed it. You were fantastic. Thank you, Thank 21 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 2: you so much, Wendy. I appreciate that. 22 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,320 Speaker 4: I'm Wendy and I share a gynecologist and his name 23 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 4: is David Allan Greer. So I first want to just 24 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 4: talk about your experience working with him, because I have 25 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 4: never ever been able, nor will I ever Wendy be 26 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 4: able to take that man seriously as an actor, as 27 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 4: a person, as a skier. I tried to ski with 28 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 4: him once. 29 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,199 Speaker 1: I don't remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he tried to tell 30 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,559 Speaker 1: me he could ski. 31 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 4: And this was before I became the skier that I 32 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 4: am today, before I'm a pretty decent and competent skier. 33 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: Now, yeah you are, thank you, thank you. I appreciate that. 34 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 4: And I worked hard to get there, you know, like 35 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 4: I took it very seriously, like almost like a college degree. 36 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 4: But David, like the idiot that he is, and will 37 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 4: always remain trying to convince me that he's the one. Actually, no, 38 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 4: I have to give him a little bit of credit. 39 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 4: He's the one who got me back into skiing because 40 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 4: he took me skiing on the West Coast. I don't 41 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 4: remember if we were in Tahoe or we were in 42 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 4: maybe Aspen Comedy Festival. It was something where there was 43 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 4: like a comedy festival related, so. 44 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 2: It must have been Aspen. 45 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, let's go skiing. 46 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 4: I said I don't have any ski clothes and was 47 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 4: like springish, and he said, you don't need any you 48 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 4: just need jeans. And like, you know a vest, and 49 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 4: I'm like, since when? Because I grew up in New Jersey, 50 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,800 Speaker 4: so I skied on the East coast, right, and so 51 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 4: he convinced me to go skiing. 52 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: We went skiing. 53 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 4: We went out for about an hour and a half 54 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 4: until he started complaining he was too cold in the 55 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 4: springtime he had. He was the one who dragged me 56 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 4: out there and then started complaining, and finally I told 57 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 4: him to get off the mountain. I was having a 58 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,639 Speaker 4: really good time on my own, you know, I was like, 59 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 4: leave me alone. And that was when I discovered that 60 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 4: skiing could be actually pleasurable when when other people weren't 61 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 4: with you, and warmer weather, when you didn't have to 62 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,720 Speaker 4: put on all that gear. And so he kind of was. 63 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 4: He was kind of the person that re introduced me 64 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 4: to adult skiing. So I do want to give him 65 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 4: that shout out, but I've had so many personal experiences 66 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 4: with him as a friend. 67 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,560 Speaker 1: That I don't want to give him any credit beyond that. 68 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 2: Okay, you're blowing my mind that he skis at all, Well, 69 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 2: he doesn't, and because he doesn't like to leave the 70 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 2: house the David I know. Now Again, I've only known 71 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 2: him for a year or two, you've known him for 72 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 2: a lot longer, but that he would willingly go and 73 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 2: ski or do something physical that's amazing to me. 74 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: Or do something fun. 75 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 4: Yes, I don't know what's happened to him over the 76 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 4: past couple of years because I haven't stayed in touch 77 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 4: with him. 78 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: I think I haven't hung out with him probably in 79 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: like ten years. But when. 80 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 4: Whenever I see him, I just think of that day 81 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 4: on the mountain, and I just think of I mean, 82 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 4: he is he is one of our funniest people. 83 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 2: He is he really is. 84 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, and tell me about what it's like working with him. 85 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 2: Well, okay, so you and I are roughly the same age. 86 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 2: So we both watched in Living Color. Uh huh right, yeah, 87 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 2: and that was a pretty mind blowing show, yes at 88 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 2: the time, and he was so damn money on that 89 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 2: and in anything he does. So when I heard that 90 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 2: he was doing this show, Saint Dennis Medical, I couldn't 91 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,479 Speaker 2: say yes fast enough. And when I'm on set, I 92 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 2: feel like I just catch myself staring at him, like, Wow, 93 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 2: you're really right there and we know each other and 94 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 2: you know who I am, And this is crazy to 95 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 2: me that this is where my life is. So when 96 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 2: we're in a scene together, I basically turn into an 97 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 2: audience member. 98 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: Okay, you forgot to save my life. 99 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:39,280 Speaker 4: So you respect him? Oh yes, yeah, that's the difference 100 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,799 Speaker 4: between you and me. I don't have any respect for him. Actually, 101 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:44,880 Speaker 4: we should book him on this podcast because I would 102 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 4: like to tell him to his face. 103 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 2: I tell him. I think he needs to hear it. 104 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,599 Speaker 4: But I like that you do respect him because he 105 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 4: is very entertaining and obviously the show is a huge chant. 106 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 4: Congrats on all the nominations you guys received. Well the Critics' 107 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 4: Choice nomination for sure, and congrats on CEAS and two. 108 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. 109 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,719 Speaker 4: Also, congrats on being one of the funniest women out there, 110 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:10,400 Speaker 4: because you make me fucking laugh what I mean a 111 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 4: lot of you. Yeah, you do. You make you make 112 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 4: everybody laugh. You're ridiculous. 113 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: You and Carrie. 114 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:20,160 Speaker 4: Kenny Silver on Reno nine one one is just too 115 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,239 Speaker 4: fucking funny. 116 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:25,600 Speaker 1: These two are ridiculous together. Well, the whole cast of. 117 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,359 Speaker 4: Rena nine one one deserves an award every year just forever. 118 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:29,559 Speaker 1: Having done that show. 119 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,919 Speaker 2: Well, you you have some fun with us, didn't you. 120 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 2: I did? 121 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 4: I did a guest star on that show years and 122 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 4: years ago. I was so I was, Yes, it was, 123 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 4: which was also a ridiculous experience. It was so fun 124 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 4: to be a part of that show because you guys 125 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 4: improved so much and everyone was always just about to 126 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 4: break and always laughing in the middle of scenes. 127 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 1: And that's really what I Those are the only kinds of. 128 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 4: Productions I like to be involved in, is when people 129 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,239 Speaker 4: are breaking on camera. 130 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 2: Well, we were lucky to get you, and you were 131 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,799 Speaker 2: so cool about it because I remember, you know, Reno 132 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 2: was just like a fly by the seat of our 133 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 2: pants kind of show like permits. Never heard of her, 134 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 2: you know, we never got fermits for anything. It was 135 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 2: just gorilla shooting. So we needed cars for some reason. 136 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 2: We needed cars to drive by and it wasn't safe, 137 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,279 Speaker 2: but you said, oh, you can use mine. I'm turning 138 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 2: it in tomorrow. It doesn't matter. You can thrash it. 139 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 2: And it was like, that's a good girl, right there, 140 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 2: she will go there, yes, of course, and she's hilarious. 141 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 2: So yeah, all in the name of comedy, right, Wendy, 142 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 2: that's right, that's right. 143 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 4: So tell me about your life. What's happening, what's happening 144 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 4: in your personal life. So this is your husband brother 145 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 4: that set us your podcast for you. 146 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 2: Yes, and right now we're in New Orleans. 147 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,279 Speaker 1: Oh what are you doing there? 148 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 2: We have the tiniest condo in the French Quarter and 149 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 2: we come out here as often as we can. I 150 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 2: love this city. I cannot tell you what kind of 151 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,160 Speaker 2: hold it has on me. Wow. But we hadn't been 152 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 2: able to get out here since right around New Year's 153 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 2: so we needed to come out and just check on things, 154 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 2: do some housekeeping, and of course we're gonna have fun 155 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 2: and try to hear some music and stuff. But we've 156 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 2: missed Marti Gral this year. We're missing jazz best we 157 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 2: missed we missed French Quarter beest. But doesn't matter. I 158 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 2: just love it here. 159 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 4: I feel like there's always a festival happening in the 160 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 4: French Quarter always. 161 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 2: And when we got here there were three parades. Three parades. 162 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 2: We couldn't our cab couldn't even get us to our house. 163 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 2: They had to drop us off at the park and 164 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 2: we just walked our luggage through the. 165 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 1: Through the preade. 166 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 2: Quarter. Yeah, pretty much became you should. 167 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 4: Have immersed yourself in the parade, and so you got 168 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 4: to your house. 169 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 2: I know I should have, just you know, disrobed. 170 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: Do you ever run into Amy Schumer down there? 171 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 4: Because I was recently when I always did a show 172 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 4: down there, I went to her house in the French Quarter. 173 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 2: I heard that she has a house, and no, I 174 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 2: I've never run into her. 175 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 4: Oh you too, need to connect. You two would really 176 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 4: get on like a house on fire. 177 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 2: Really. 178 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to put you on a text with her. 179 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 2: Do you know if she has a big house, because 180 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 2: like I said, we've got a tiny little place because 181 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 2: I don't want to I don't want to worry about 182 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 2: a big house. 183 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, it's not crazy or anything 184 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 4: like that. It's it's normal. It's normal size. She does 185 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 4: have a pool in the backyard, but it's not Wow. Yeah, 186 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 4: but it's not a crazy house. Amy's not crazy like that. 187 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 4: She's like, you know, she's pretty normal. Now, you have 188 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 4: a house in Spain, I do that is not. 189 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 2: A normal Oh my god. 190 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 1: No, And I'm not going to pretend that it is. 191 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? 192 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 2: But do you you must go there a lot. 193 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 1: I do go there. I go there in the summer. 194 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 4: I we rent out that house a lot because you know, 195 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 4: it is so ridiculous, so in order to justify it, 196 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:47,960 Speaker 4: I have to rent it out. 197 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 1: But I do go there with it. 198 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 4: I go there like I'll be there in June for 199 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 4: a week and hopefully I'll spend like the month of 200 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 4: September or October, whatever my schedule allows. I share that 201 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 4: house with a lot of my friends and family, and 202 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 4: it's the biggest It's one of the best gifts I've 203 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:04,600 Speaker 4: ever given myself, as the house in Maorca. 204 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,760 Speaker 1: Catherine's been there, gorgeous. 205 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 4: It's kind of like a slice of I remember looking 206 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 4: at this house, and you know, places speak to you 207 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 4: as you're talking about New Orleans, right, which is such 208 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 4: a magical place everyone if you haven't been to New Orleans, 209 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 4: once you go, you understand there's just something there that 210 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,200 Speaker 4: is not available anywhere else in any other city in 211 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 4: the United States. And I'm not sure about the world. 212 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 4: I mean, you know, maybe there's parts of Paris I 213 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 4: feel like the French Quarter or something, but which was 214 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 4: why what It's probably called the fucking Front Quarter, But 215 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 4: I just. 216 00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 1: Pieced that together. 217 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 4: As I was saying it, I'm like, oh, but you 218 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 4: know when you find something and you're like whll wha ooh, 219 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 4: this is like my childhood, like it came, It came 220 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 4: from my child my childhood memories. It evoked all of 221 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 4: these happy feelings, like the view of the water in 222 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,839 Speaker 4: the setting that it is, and just the boats that 223 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 4: like the sailboats parked in the bay reminded me so 224 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 4: much of my childhood growing up on Martha's Vineyard and seeing, Wow, 225 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 4: it's not the same exact view, obviously, but it's it's 226 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 4: a very similar view. And I remember we would always 227 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 4: sit outside on our deck and my dad would every 228 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 4: time we would be outside, he'd be look at this view, 229 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 4: look at this view. 230 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: So I've had that imprinted in my brain. 231 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 4: And when I found my house in Myorca, it was dilapidated, 232 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,960 Speaker 4: it was run down. I had to climb over some 233 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 4: balustrade and banister to get up there with a couple 234 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 4: of friends. 235 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: And I remember turning around once we got in. 236 00:10:31,559 --> 00:10:34,560 Speaker 4: Once we broke in and turned around and looked at 237 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 4: the view, I said, look at this view. I cannot 238 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:41,199 Speaker 4: believe this house is abandoned. Like I'm going to get it. 239 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 4: And so that's how I feel every time I'm there, like, 240 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,320 Speaker 4: look at this view and I could get lost in 241 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,280 Speaker 4: that view and sit in front of that water for 242 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,200 Speaker 4: days and not leave the house and be perfectly happy 243 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,960 Speaker 4: as long as somebody's making me a frozen mango decory. 244 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 2: It's really magical there, it is. You know, the older 245 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,839 Speaker 2: you get, the less it takes to make you happy. 246 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 2: Sometimes it's just a nice view and a good drink, 247 00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 2: I know. Yeah, yeah, So wait, your your house was abandoned. 248 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 4: You you just found it. You didn't go through a 249 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 4: realtor or anything. You just it said for sale in 250 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 4: Spanish on it. But like it was, it was like 251 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,679 Speaker 4: the roofs had caved in, like like the pictures were 252 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 4: still on the walls, the like you could go up 253 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,719 Speaker 4: halfway up the staircase, but you couldn't go all the 254 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 4: way up to the top. So it needed just to 255 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 4: be refortified. There's not a lot of leeway they give 256 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 4: you in those small towns. You have to kind of 257 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:31,400 Speaker 4: stick to the plan and just like refortify it, you 258 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 4: know what I mean. Like the even the banisters outside 259 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 4: on the terrace, they have to be in like you know, 260 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 4: my orcin code, And so that's even more beautiful I think, 261 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 4: so that you can't really you know, you can obviously 262 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 4: design it however. 263 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,719 Speaker 1: You want in the interior, but what you do on. 264 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,080 Speaker 4: The outside has to have the edifice has to match 265 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 4: the area. But yes, best gift I ever bought myself. 266 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,680 Speaker 2: Amazing And you earned that, Thank you, You earned that. 267 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 2: You worked your ass off. So yes, absolutely deserve to 268 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 2: have a beautiful vacation home. 269 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 1: Well, you deserve the same. You absolutely deserve the same. 270 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:11,079 Speaker 4: You don't do you don't have any children, Wendy, Right, Nope, nope, no, 271 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 4: And how do. 272 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:12,960 Speaker 1: You feel about that decision? 273 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 2: Every day? I pat myself on the back for sticking 274 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 2: to my guns. 275 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: Fucking high five, high fucking five right there. 276 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 4: I mean, the best thing that the thing that people 277 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 4: never tell you about making the choice to never have children, 278 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 4: which nobody ever told me that was a choice either 279 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,560 Speaker 4: I did anyone ever tell you it was a choice 280 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 4: or did you just inherently know or. 281 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 2: I just always knew I didn't want them? Yes, but 282 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 2: I never said that because it seemed like something that 283 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,199 Speaker 2: I was gonna have to do regardless. But I mean, 284 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 2: even when when I remember being little, being presented with 285 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 2: a baby doll and being like, oh no, that's so 286 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:54,719 Speaker 2: much work. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want 287 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 2: to fuss with this thing. I got stuff to do. 288 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,440 Speaker 2: I've got to go make mud pies. And you know, 289 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 2: I never wanted them, but I liked barbies. I liked 290 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 2: you too. She's a career woman. 291 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:05,720 Speaker 1: Me too. 292 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 2: I like it's a career woman exactly. 293 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,240 Speaker 4: I had never contemplated this though, but you're absolutely right. 294 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 4: That's how I felt about like playing mommy and baby 295 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 4: and with little babies. Like I liked cabbage Patch kids 296 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,079 Speaker 4: because they seemed like they had a little personality. 297 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,439 Speaker 2: Yes, you know what I mean, Like they could change 298 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 2: their own diaper probably. 299 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, And they were like you could get one with 300 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 4: a dimple and green eyes and brown hair, like you 301 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 4: could kind of design them or they you know, like 302 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,240 Speaker 4: pick out the ones you had freckles. But they seemed 303 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 4: like they had a little spunk. They weren't babies, you know. 304 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 4: I remember getting a pre MEI cabbage Patch. I'm like, 305 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 4: I don't want this. I want the one with the 306 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,199 Speaker 4: long brown hair, the green eyes and the dimple. 307 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I prease. They they're too they're too young. 308 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 2: You gotta be fussing with them all the time. Every 309 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 2: two hours. You gotta feed them. No, thank you want 310 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:52,319 Speaker 2: nothing to do with that. 311 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 4: The other thing, though, is what we need to tell 312 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,040 Speaker 4: people who are listening to this, as we have so 313 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:01,840 Speaker 4: many female listeners, and I'm sure many of them are on, 314 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,200 Speaker 4: you know, thinking and deliberating about whether or not they 315 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 4: want to be a mother when you choose not to, 316 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 4: because people go, am I going to regret this decision? 317 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,440 Speaker 4: I don't know anyone that hasn't had a child that 318 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 4: sits around and goes. I wish I had one. Anyone 319 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 4: that is child free goes. Thank god, I got through 320 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 4: that area of time, that period of time where I 321 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 4: could have been vulnerable to possibly dislodging a child. I 322 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 4: did not fall for fall prey to that, and I 323 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 4: made it through the tunnel that where I am no 324 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 4: longer able or viable to have one, like I feel 325 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:40,080 Speaker 4: like whoop. 326 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:41,320 Speaker 1: I got through that test. 327 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 2: Yep, yep. And then I for a while I looked 328 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:49,240 Speaker 2: at like Diane Keaton who adopted at fifty, and I think, well, 329 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:50,880 Speaker 2: is that an option? No? It isn't. 330 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: No, No, it isn't. 331 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 2: And I love kids and I love that people want 332 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 2: to have kids. I don't judge that, but boy do 333 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 2: I feel judged when I tell people, yeah, that was 334 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 2: never in the plan, never wanted them. I've been told, 335 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 2: you know, oh, well, that's really selfish. It's really selfish 336 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 2: of you not to have them, and it's like, wild, 337 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 2: I don't think it is. I think it's selfish to 338 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 2: have them because you think you're supposed to and then 339 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 2: resent them, yeah, and turn them into an unfunny comedy 340 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 2: routine that a lot of people do. Oh yeah, I don't. 341 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,680 Speaker 2: I think that's repugnant, but whatever. 342 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 4: I think it's selfish to bring a child into this 343 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 4: world where you're not one hundred and fifty percent down 344 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 4: with the idea of what's going to happen, Like, if 345 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 4: there's any doubt at all, then it's not for you. 346 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:40,360 Speaker 4: You have to yearn for something the way that we 347 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 4: would yearn for our careers, the way that we yearn 348 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 4: to be creative. You have to have that longing and 349 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 4: that yearning with regard to children, and if it's not there, 350 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:50,840 Speaker 4: then I think that's your answer. 351 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. And I see people going through IVF and 352 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 2: doing all these things and it's like, well, I hope 353 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,360 Speaker 2: it happens for you. You clearly want it so much much 354 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 2: but I have never wanted it. Well, and Greg and 355 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 2: I you know, we've been married twenty nine years, and 356 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 2: we would check in with each other. You good, you 357 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 2: don't want any great and we've always been on the 358 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 2: same page with it. 359 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 4: Wow, twenty nine years, that's great. Yeah, and that's why 360 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 4: you're still together, probably because you never had to be. 361 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 2: I think so too. I think so too. 362 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,600 Speaker 4: What are you going to do for your thirtieth anniversary? 363 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,000 Speaker 4: Do you want to go to my house in MAJORCA. 364 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,280 Speaker 4: I'm offering it up for you to celebrate your thirtieth 365 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 4: anniversary wedding anniversary. 366 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's amazing. 367 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,880 Speaker 4: It'll obviously be I'll obviously Pepper and some other couples 368 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,320 Speaker 4: who are celebrating big milestone, so it can turn into 369 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 4: a big swingers party because. 370 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 2: I can't mark up. 371 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 1: I leave well enough alone. 372 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 2: That would be amazing. And we'll look at the view 373 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:48,840 Speaker 2: give us. 374 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,800 Speaker 4: Some serious nuggets of wisdoms or not so serious of 375 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 4: why you have a successful marriage for thirty years, like 376 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 4: what is the secret? 377 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 1: What's your secret? 378 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 2: Well, my secret, my quote unquote secret is before I 379 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 2: say anything critical of him, I look at myself and 380 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,959 Speaker 2: find out that I'm not so delightful either, So I 381 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:15,360 Speaker 2: try not to criticize him before I see what I'm 382 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:19,480 Speaker 2: doing wrong, and I'm usually doing something terrible. I'm a 383 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,680 Speaker 2: pain in the ass. He's very how are you? 384 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:22,640 Speaker 1: How are you a pain anything? 385 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:26,920 Speaker 2: Well, you know, listen, I'm an actor, I'm very needy, 386 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 2: I'm moody, I'm a perfectionist, and I have a short temper, 387 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:38,160 Speaker 2: whereas Greg is nothing but pure sweetness, is very slow 388 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 2: to anger, and it is just the most supportive person 389 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,200 Speaker 2: in the world. So if there's anything wrong in our marriage, 390 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:49,360 Speaker 2: it's usually my fault and I'm willing to admit that. 391 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 2: I can admit it, and I think admitting it is 392 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 2: one thing. And also when he does something sweet, I 393 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 2: tell the whole wide world. So I brag on him 394 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,480 Speaker 2: a lot because he is really like, I couldn't do 395 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 2: anything that I do if I didn't have that man. 396 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 2: He's the only one who ever encouraged me to go 397 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:12,120 Speaker 2: into acting. The rest of my family and friends were 398 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 2: just like, oh, this is embarrassing, don't do that. Well, 399 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:20,400 Speaker 2: he was right. Apparently it worked out. He was right. 400 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 2: But like, he's the one who wakes me up in 401 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 2: the morning. He gets up before me, he fixes my 402 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:30,439 Speaker 2: breakfast every morning and sends me off to work. What 403 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 2: else can I ask for? 404 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 5: You know what I mean? 405 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 4: It sounds like you chose very well for your personality. 406 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 2: He's just my everything. Oh, I was just born to 407 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:41,440 Speaker 2: love that man. 408 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:42,399 Speaker 1: I love that. 409 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,640 Speaker 4: I love to hear that. That's so, it is very 410 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 4: heartwarming to hear. Did you make bad choices before you 411 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,200 Speaker 4: met your husband? Like did you have a pattern of 412 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 4: dating other types of man? 413 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:58,040 Speaker 2: Yes? I did. I did, but I learned my lessons quickly. 414 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 2: Like if I do something terrible once, I will not 415 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,920 Speaker 2: do it again. So like if I date a drug 416 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 2: addict once, that's gonna be the only one. You know, 417 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,920 Speaker 2: I'm done. I see the signs. We're not going to 418 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,439 Speaker 2: go through this again. You can't change people. That's not 419 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:15,400 Speaker 2: my job. I got other things to do. So there's that. 420 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,240 Speaker 2: And also like my parents and I love them and 421 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:23,200 Speaker 2: they're still together. They are having their sixtieth wedding anniversary 422 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:28,880 Speaker 2: next week. But they fought constantly. They got married very young, 423 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 2: and they fought constantly. For some people when they grow 424 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:37,679 Speaker 2: up in that they seek that out without realizing it 425 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 2: because it feels normal. That never felt normal. And I 426 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,399 Speaker 2: won't do it. I'm not going to live in a 427 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:48,200 Speaker 2: house where there's constant chaos and arguing. So I knew 428 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 2: that's not something that I was gonna put up with. 429 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,639 Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of people who call in have a 430 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 4: lot of trouble breaking that. Like, I'm a big proponent 431 00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 4: of what you're saying, make your first time the last time, 432 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,960 Speaker 4: you know, Like, I don't want to learn same lessons twice. 433 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,240 Speaker 4: I'm busy. I want to move on and learn another lesson. 434 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,840 Speaker 4: I want to, you know, I want to have new experiences. 435 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,679 Speaker 4: But a lot of our people are like how you know, 436 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,960 Speaker 4: Like they have such trouble letting go of toxic relationships, 437 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,399 Speaker 4: and at our age, it's so easy to give the 438 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,679 Speaker 4: advice of like this is just not for you. Like 439 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 4: the sooner you learn these lessons, the happier and freer 440 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 4: you become as a person, and then the things, the 441 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 4: things that you want and think that you need come 442 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 4: to you without so much effort being put out. 443 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 2: No, you're one hundred percent right, And if you will 444 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 2: just do that kind of mental health cleaning, then you 445 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,159 Speaker 2: make space for all that good stuff to come in. 446 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:45,400 Speaker 2: But if you don't clean house, you're always blocking your blessings, 447 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,600 Speaker 2: which I know is a very woo thing to say about. 448 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 4: No, no, No, you're in the perfect place to say no. 449 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 4: But that's okay. I'm wu wu too. I mean, you 450 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 4: can't be you can't move to California, live here for 451 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 4: thirty years and not just fucking capitulate, you know what 452 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 4: I mean. I'm like, okay, I mean I'm two I'm 453 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 4: two easters away from celebrating that, you know. I mean, 454 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 4: that's and that's not wu woo. That's actually woo woo 455 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,320 Speaker 4: to me now. Is that's what I consider wo wo 456 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 4: is like real religion. I'm like, okay, get away from 457 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 4: me with that. But what do you guys have to 458 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,240 Speaker 4: talk about after thirty years together? Out of curiosity? 459 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:18,199 Speaker 5: Is that? 460 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 2: Ever? God? 461 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 4: Just anything just so natural that you it doesn't even 462 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,040 Speaker 4: it's not an issue because I have trouble keeping a 463 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:27,720 Speaker 4: conversation with somebody I've been dating for ten months. 464 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think the way to get around that, though, 465 00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 2: is that silence is okay sometimes too. 466 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. 467 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,480 Speaker 2: You don't always have to be entertaining, No, you can 468 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 2: just sit there, it's fine. And then things do pop 469 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 2: up that you've never you know, stories you've never told before. 470 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,879 Speaker 2: I don't know, it's just a it does seem like 471 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 2: you would run out of things to talk about, but 472 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,119 Speaker 2: there are always things and I don't know how to 473 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,159 Speaker 2: explain it, but it never gets boring. 474 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,760 Speaker 4: Back to Saint Dennis Medical, do you guys do a 475 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 4: lot of improv on that show? 476 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:04,240 Speaker 2: We do. We do. Our showrunner Eric Legend, he was 477 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 2: one of the creators of Superstore and American Auto and 478 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,800 Speaker 2: stuff like that. He really does encourage us to get 479 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 2: it done the scripted way, and then we can improvise 480 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,959 Speaker 2: that there's just something we have to do and they 481 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 2: usually leave it in. They've been pretty generous with us, 482 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,399 Speaker 2: and I have to say working on that show is 483 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 2: such a pleasure because our showrunners love their families and 484 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,600 Speaker 2: want to go home at night. So if they don't, 485 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,959 Speaker 2: you know, for the listeners at home, if your showrunner 486 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 2: doesn't necessarily want to go home, you don't get to 487 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:41,240 Speaker 2: go home either. So it's great because we're usually done 488 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 2: by six o'clock every night. Oh what a treat. 489 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 1: That is ideal. Yeah, in this business, that is very unusual. 490 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 2: I got the script for that show like four hours 491 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:55,160 Speaker 2: after The Goldbergs was canceled, so I'm lucky it came 492 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,440 Speaker 2: my way because it was in a during a year 493 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,239 Speaker 2: where they just weren't making a lot of pilots at all. 494 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:04,719 Speaker 2: I think they made four across network television. Yeah, this 495 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,640 Speaker 2: one got picked up. 496 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:06,880 Speaker 1: I remember that year. 497 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 4: I remember when they was like out of I mean 498 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,360 Speaker 4: they used to make like twenty five pilots a year 499 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,439 Speaker 4: and I don't pick up I don't know ten and 500 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 4: then all of a sudden, there was one year where 501 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,879 Speaker 4: they made four fucking pilots and people were panicking about 502 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 4: the state of the industry. 503 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,639 Speaker 1: So you were on the goldbergs for ten years, was it? 504 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:24,200 Speaker 2: Yeah? 505 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: Ten years? 506 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,919 Speaker 4: And you played a mother and I read that you 507 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,520 Speaker 4: didn't want to play a mother again. 508 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,199 Speaker 1: Isn't it funny? Even playing a mother's exhausting. 509 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 2: Well, I mean I had, look I play, I got 510 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 2: to relive the eighties again. So I've been in the 511 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,280 Speaker 2: eighties for twenty years, all right, which I've had enough. 512 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,040 Speaker 2: All Right, I get it. The eighties were fun. I 513 00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:49,440 Speaker 2: loved playing a mom, and now I understand like kind 514 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 2: of what my mom went through at that time, but 515 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,679 Speaker 2: I got that out of my system playing, you know, 516 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,960 Speaker 2: the overbearing mama, and I loved it, but I didn't 517 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,200 Speaker 2: want to do it again, not for a while anyway. Right, 518 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 2: And so when I read this, you know the character 519 00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 2: of Joyce the administrator, the hospital administrator, she's such an 520 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 2: odd ball that I found her irresistible and was like, yes, 521 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,520 Speaker 2: I want to do this. 522 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,439 Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean the role is so perfect for you, 523 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,479 Speaker 4: and you're so perfect in it. Thank you, absolutely, I 524 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,399 Speaker 4: love you. I think you're just so fucking funny, I mean. 525 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: So talented than you, Chelsea. 526 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 2: Thank you. 527 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 4: Okay, we're going to take a break and we'll be 528 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:31,360 Speaker 4: right back with Wendy McClendon covey and her brother husband. 529 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,440 Speaker 1: We'll be right back. 530 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:40,959 Speaker 4: And we're back with Wendy McLendon covey. Okay, Wendy, we're 531 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,880 Speaker 4: going to take some callers. Okay, we're your goat advice here. 532 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,879 Speaker 1: So Catherine, what do we have today? 533 00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 3: Well, our first email comes from Andrea. The subject is 534 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,879 Speaker 3: twenty six year old virgin Dear Chelsea, my daughter just 535 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:55,679 Speaker 3: came to visit me for a couple of weeks. My 536 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 3: daughter is beautiful, thoughtful, and smart. She graduated college, went 537 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 3: to cooking school, and is now working successfully as a chef. 538 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,160 Speaker 3: Whenever I ask the subject of dating is always changed 539 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,200 Speaker 3: to another subject or answered with a one word answer. 540 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,600 Speaker 3: She never has a boyfriend and never has and never 541 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 3: really even kissed someone. And I'm just at a loss 542 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,920 Speaker 3: as to why. I asked her if she was asexual 543 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,560 Speaker 3: and she said no, She's only getting older and I 544 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 3: don't want her to be alone and never see what 545 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 3: joy being in a relationship will. 546 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,919 Speaker 2: Bring, let alone sex. I don't know what to do 547 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 2: or say. 548 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 3: Please help coming from her loving mom who only wants 549 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,119 Speaker 3: the best for her, Andrea. 550 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:32,760 Speaker 1: Is she gay? 551 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 4: Is your daughter a lesbian? And do you have feelings 552 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 4: about her being lesbian that are preventing her from being 553 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,920 Speaker 4: truthful to you about being a lesbian? Asexual? Isn't the 554 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:47,440 Speaker 4: only question to be asking this? 555 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,640 Speaker 2: No, totally, totally, you know what I mean. 556 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,760 Speaker 4: Like, if she's asking she's a sexual, she's asked her 557 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,440 Speaker 4: she's gay. She didn't mention that part, and she keeps 558 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,119 Speaker 4: mentioning a man, not a person, right, right, So maybe 559 00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,479 Speaker 4: she's a lesbian, So maybe you should think about that 560 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 4: or I don't know. Do you know a lot of 561 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 4: asexual people, Wendy, I do know a couple. 562 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,000 Speaker 2: I know a couple, I know a couple and look, 563 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,480 Speaker 2: she's twenty six. She could be just very picky. She 564 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,960 Speaker 2: could be gay, that was my first thought as well. 565 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 2: Or she might have a secret life that you don't 566 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 2: know anything about sunds. 567 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,320 Speaker 1: Like, that's prob. Or she could be a totally late bloomer. 568 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 4: You know, some people don't really come into their own 569 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,119 Speaker 4: until they're in their thirties, like sexually. First of all, 570 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:28,760 Speaker 4: you don't even come into your own sexually until you're 571 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 4: like forties and fifties for a lot of women, So 572 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,360 Speaker 4: that could be something too. But definitely, you pushing her 573 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:36,520 Speaker 4: is not going to put her in a relationship that 574 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 4: has no impact whatsoever on anyone. I would leave the 575 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 4: situation alone for as long as possible until she comes 576 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,760 Speaker 4: to you with some information that allows you to ask 577 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,440 Speaker 4: further questions. But I would also put it out there 578 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,160 Speaker 4: that if she is a lesbian, if she is a sexual, 579 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,440 Speaker 4: if she does have some secret life that she doesn't 580 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,199 Speaker 4: want you to know about, that you are okay with 581 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:58,120 Speaker 4: that because you. 582 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,679 Speaker 3: Have to be Yeah, yeah, I mean, and some people, 583 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,160 Speaker 3: I think dating now is so intimidate weird. 584 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 2: It's weird. 585 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,159 Speaker 4: It's like we went full tilt on the dating apps 586 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,119 Speaker 4: and everyone went bonkers, and now there's like a contraction, 587 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:15,280 Speaker 4: like people are so disgusted by dating apps and by 588 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 4: what's available out there that people are like, I'd rather 589 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:18,360 Speaker 4: be alone. 590 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 1: So I think we're in that phase of things. 591 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:24,080 Speaker 4: And plus, our younger generations are not as sexually active 592 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:27,120 Speaker 4: as we were because there's so much porn and everything, 593 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,040 Speaker 4: so they actually don't need to get it, you know, 594 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 4: So there's this possibility that she's a sexual. 595 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:33,720 Speaker 6: Yeah. 596 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,400 Speaker 4: Also just leave her alone, Like, there's nothing that's sexy 597 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 4: about talking to your mother about sex. Yeah, that's not 598 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,119 Speaker 4: going to probe her. I mean, that's not going to 599 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:46,080 Speaker 4: push her. Sorry to say probe. That's not trying to 600 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:50,640 Speaker 4: true into anything. So back off, mom, Back off. 601 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:53,879 Speaker 2: Our first caller today is Beth. She is thirty. 602 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,600 Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, I've been with my partner for almost seven years. 603 00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:01,879 Speaker 3: I'm thirty and he's fifty two. I'm biologically child free. However, 604 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,479 Speaker 3: last summer, my partner's teenage son moved in with us 605 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,000 Speaker 3: full time from the West Coast to the southeast because 606 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,119 Speaker 3: he was expelled from his school and was having various 607 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:13,440 Speaker 3: behavioral challenges. The transition was extremely challenging for me personally, 608 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 3: as someone who has no desire to have kids, so 609 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,880 Speaker 3: much so that I got my tubes removed earlier this year. 610 00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,600 Speaker 3: But I also did it for our relationship, as my 611 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,160 Speaker 3: partner and I have different ideas of parenting. At times, 612 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 3: I do think his son is a good person at heart, 613 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,680 Speaker 3: but his communication is regularly disrespectful and loud. He doesn't 614 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,879 Speaker 3: ever take accountability, which is super triggering for me. My 615 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,280 Speaker 3: partner and I have been in couple's therapy for co parenting, 616 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,600 Speaker 3: which has been helpful for the relationship, but I still 617 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:41,360 Speaker 3: find myself frustrated with his son's behavior. I absolutely loved 618 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 3: your book and how you wrote about your relationship with POOPSI, Whoopsie, 619 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 3: and Oopsie. It really touched me, and I admire how 620 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 3: you built a relationship with them and became such an 621 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,080 Speaker 3: influence in their life. So my question is this, when 622 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 3: I'm so frustrated with my partner's son's behavior, how do 623 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,280 Speaker 3: I get over my frustration and irritability? What do you 624 00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 3: think I can or should do to build a us 625 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 3: relationship with him. I've been in his life since he 626 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 3: was seven. We've gone on vacations together, we play video games, 627 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,840 Speaker 3: sometimes I drive in places. Do his laundry, occasionally cook 628 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,480 Speaker 3: family dinner for the three of us nightly, among other things. 629 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 3: But I'm still struggling with the relationship dynamic I have 630 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 3: with his son. Please help me be a better step mom. 631 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 3: I'd like to have what you're having. 632 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,840 Speaker 1: Love you so much, Beth, Hi, Beth, Hi, Chelsea. 633 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,920 Speaker 4: Hi, this is Wendy McClendon Covey, our special guest today. 634 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 6: Hi. 635 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,920 Speaker 2: Hi, Bed Yeah, nice, see too. 636 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,200 Speaker 4: That's nice that you're I mean, first of all, it's 637 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,560 Speaker 4: very nice that you're trying so hard and that you 638 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 4: want to try hard, you know, and that is a 639 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:36,960 Speaker 4: difficult situation. 640 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:38,240 Speaker 1: How old is he again? 641 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:39,800 Speaker 5: He is fifteen. 642 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 7: Okay, it was hard in the beginning when he first came, 643 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:48,720 Speaker 7: I was kind of on the fence because it was 644 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 7: so hard because I'm the oldest of seven kids. So 645 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:55,200 Speaker 7: that was also that's like just a component of life. 646 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:56,360 Speaker 2: Like you've done your mothering. 647 00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,600 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's was hard, kind of is. 648 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 7: But now I'm more in those spirit of like, Okay, 649 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 7: I'm trying to give this a try and just fully 650 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:10,120 Speaker 7: embrace it. And when I get so irritable and frustrated, 651 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 7: like this is kind of also been a hard week, 652 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 7: it makes me I don't want to say, not want 653 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 7: to try, but it makes me feel just overwhelmed. 654 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 4: And is he how like what level of disrespect does 655 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 4: he exhibit to you towards you. 656 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,760 Speaker 7: So he'll get I mean, he's a teenager, so I 657 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 7: know teenagers have attitudes, but he'll have an attitude or 658 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 7: a whole talk back. He also doesn't know when enough 659 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,920 Speaker 7: is enough or like when to stop. So like, for example, 660 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 7: this weekend, we went to the beach and you know, 661 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,000 Speaker 7: hoarsing around. We had fun, and then it's like, okay, 662 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 7: we're done. But all throughout the rest of the day 663 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,920 Speaker 7: he kept antagonizing and just hitting me. And then I 664 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 7: was laying in bed Saturday night with my partner and 665 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,280 Speaker 7: he comes in and like hits me on the head, 666 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,720 Speaker 7: like thinking he's joking, and I'm like, I'm trying. 667 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,360 Speaker 5: To go to sleep enough. So it's just also just 668 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 5: like not knowing when enough is enough. 669 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:01,360 Speaker 2: Uh. 670 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 5: And I'm also someone that stays very calm. 671 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 7: I don't like yelling, whereas my partner, you know, they'll 672 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:12,000 Speaker 7: get in arguments and yell, and so when I say 673 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,760 Speaker 7: something to him or point out, you know, hey, your 674 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,760 Speaker 7: dad is trying to tell you x Y z he 675 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:22,800 Speaker 7: then will shut down or who'll become nasty back towards me. 676 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:26,240 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Sounds like a typical teenager. 677 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:30,840 Speaker 7: Yeah, And sometimes I see a lot of myself in him, 678 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,160 Speaker 7: Like when I was a teenager, I was also very 679 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 7: like headstrong, so I relate to him on some levels. 680 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:40,320 Speaker 7: We're also both libras, if that means anything to you, but. 681 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:41,960 Speaker 2: I'm a lilybra as well. 682 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:45,640 Speaker 4: I go, yeah, let's go great, because I I don't 683 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:45,959 Speaker 4: get it. 684 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. 685 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 5: Just balance and yeah, wanting balance and stuff, but right right. 686 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 7: Yeah, it's just I think it's been hard also because 687 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,920 Speaker 7: I don't want kids for a very very you know, 688 00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 7: long list of reasons. So yeah, I'm just not sure 689 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,960 Speaker 7: what to do in terms of how to not be. 690 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 5: So triggered and frustrated. 691 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,040 Speaker 7: Because I'm also in my own recovery for mental health, 692 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 7: so personal responsibility and accountability to me means a lot, 693 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 7: and it's very, very frustrating to try to build awareness 694 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,520 Speaker 7: around him of like how to take accountability like he's getting. 695 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 7: He gets in arguments with teachers a lot, and it's 696 00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:30,800 Speaker 7: always the other person's fault, So I think that's that's 697 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 7: hard for me. 698 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:34,720 Speaker 4: Too, Yeah, that's annoying well, and but also again he's 699 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 4: fifteen years old, so his brain isn't fully formed yet, right, 700 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 4: and it's not going to be for unfortunately for another 701 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 4: ten years because he's a man. So that's like what 702 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,120 Speaker 4: twenty five twenty six was when their brain's fully formed? 703 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:47,120 Speaker 1: Is that right? 704 00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 2: Yep? 705 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: Or is it later? 706 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,280 Speaker 3: I want to say, like twenty five to twenty is 707 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,360 Speaker 3: when you're like frontal lobe is done cooking. 708 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 4: What I've learned when I took my parenting classes for poopsie, 709 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,280 Speaker 4: woopsie and oopsie, what I've learned is like you know, 710 00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 4: when they're they're combative, it's different with a boy. So well, 711 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,440 Speaker 4: when they are combative, it's like you have to be 712 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,720 Speaker 4: in a joking mood with them, Like you can't meet 713 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 4: their anger with anger, like your husband yelling at him 714 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,640 Speaker 4: when in him yelling like that doesn't do anything. That 715 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,719 Speaker 4: just keeps the cycle going and it's like a storm 716 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 4: in the sky that's just moving around in different areas. 717 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,160 Speaker 4: But when you meet their anger with like, yeah, I 718 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:26,760 Speaker 4: hear you. You sound pissed off. You must be pissed. Yeah, 719 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:31,040 Speaker 4: you sound really pissed off, not validating his feelings, but 720 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 4: acknowledging how he feels, you know what I mean, not 721 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 4: saying you're right and that your feeling is justified by like, wow, 722 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,560 Speaker 4: you do seem really pissed off, you know, let me 723 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,240 Speaker 4: give you some space, or like, okay, well, I'll be 724 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,360 Speaker 4: over here when you calm down, you know, when you 725 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 4: want to talk about it. If you want to talk 726 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,120 Speaker 4: about it, I'm here. You don't have to whatever. Like 727 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 4: you just kind of throw it back at them in 728 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,600 Speaker 4: the moment that they're in, so that you're not ignoring 729 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:59,520 Speaker 4: their feelings and it actually makes you feel better because 730 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,080 Speaker 4: you're What we tend to do, I think when we're 731 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 4: dealing with other people's children is take things so personally 732 00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 4: and it's not personal. Like they're going through puberty. They 733 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,680 Speaker 4: have all these hormones raging through their bodies. Their temper 734 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,319 Speaker 4: is not their own, their emotions are not their own. 735 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,839 Speaker 4: You know, it's a period in their life where they're 736 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:21,320 Speaker 4: just uncontrolled. It doesn't happen as badly with every teenager, 737 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,680 Speaker 4: but it happens a lot and it sounds like that's 738 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,320 Speaker 4: what's happening with him, you know, And in the moments 739 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,319 Speaker 4: of calm is when you can kind of point things out. 740 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,320 Speaker 4: And since you're a stepmom, it's a very specific dance 741 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,200 Speaker 4: of being like, you know, you want to be like 742 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,279 Speaker 4: a cool person in their life that they can come to. 743 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,760 Speaker 4: You want to like open up that avenue and be like, listen, 744 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,680 Speaker 4: I know this is frustrating, but like, let when you 745 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,319 Speaker 4: want to talk about it, if you ever do want 746 00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 4: to talk about it, I'm here. I'm always here for you, 747 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 4: you know, and not to like impose yourself on them, 748 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,279 Speaker 4: but to make sure. And it sounds like you're doing 749 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,400 Speaker 4: all those things. You're spending time with him, You're cooking 750 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,319 Speaker 4: dinners every night, do all of the things that put 751 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:03,880 Speaker 4: the marbles in the jar so that he knows he 752 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,080 Speaker 4: has an ally and someone he can rely on. And 753 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,920 Speaker 4: like the instance of him coming in and smacking you 754 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,120 Speaker 4: on the head in the bedroom when you're done playing, 755 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,360 Speaker 4: like how did you react in that moment? 756 00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:16,880 Speaker 7: I just turned over slowly and looked at him, and 757 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:21,920 Speaker 7: I was like really, like just I didn't yell at 758 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:23,520 Speaker 7: him or it was like what did I doing? 759 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:23,920 Speaker 5: Why did you? 760 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:29,080 Speaker 7: I just acknowledged maybe this isn't the time and place, 761 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,960 Speaker 7: like it's nine o'clock at night, we had fun at 762 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,160 Speaker 7: the beach earlier, but you know, and his dad has 763 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,279 Speaker 7: noticed the same thing, Like they'll rough house and they'll 764 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:37,080 Speaker 7: play around, but then it's still the same of like 765 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 7: he doesn't know when to stop, and if we try to, 766 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 7: I don't want to say, he gets stern, but like 767 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,920 Speaker 7: more serious of like okay, hey, it's time to stop. 768 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,719 Speaker 7: Then that triggers him and he gets upset and then 769 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,480 Speaker 7: is like, oh, you guys are no fun. 770 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,640 Speaker 5: Or you know, why do you always have a problem, And. 771 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,320 Speaker 1: It's like, no, it's just because he's embarrassed. 772 00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,560 Speaker 4: He's embarrassed to get like so how did you react 773 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,319 Speaker 4: when you did that, when you turned over and you 774 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,080 Speaker 4: gave him that look, did he get the message? 775 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,520 Speaker 5: He just walked out great. 776 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:10,000 Speaker 4: Great, But that's the result you want, like end of that, 777 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 4: you know what I mean, without an argument? 778 00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:12,960 Speaker 1: He got the message. 779 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,920 Speaker 4: So I think you're doing a good job with the 780 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,680 Speaker 4: way you're handling it, by not losing your temper, by 781 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:19,480 Speaker 4: being available when they need you. 782 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:20,920 Speaker 1: And you know, when he. 783 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:24,560 Speaker 4: Gets in fights with his teachers repetitively, it's not about like, oh, 784 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 4: you know, what's your part in this? 785 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,200 Speaker 1: Because he's not there yet. He's only fifteen years old. 786 00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,120 Speaker 1: But it's just acknowledging. 787 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, that must be really tough, without laying blame on 788 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,879 Speaker 4: either person, him or the teacher. Be sure that you're 789 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,319 Speaker 4: not doing that, you know, which it doesn't sound like 790 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:43,400 Speaker 4: you are. But by just being available, available for the 791 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,520 Speaker 4: good moods, for the bad moods, being around there, don't 792 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 4: allow yourself to be a punching bag. But that doesn't 793 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,000 Speaker 4: warrant fight either. You can just say I'm sorry, I'm 794 00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:53,239 Speaker 4: not interested in this right now. Like you're kind of 795 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,880 Speaker 4: being aggressive, that's fine, you're in a mood. I'm going 796 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,480 Speaker 4: to go over there, or I'm going to go to 797 00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,359 Speaker 4: my room, and then when you're ready to talk, come 798 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,480 Speaker 4: get me. I'm always here that kind of attitude. Do 799 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:03,400 Speaker 4: you get what I'm saying? 800 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I do that that makes sense. 801 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,960 Speaker 7: And I think because it's it's like I want to 802 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,359 Speaker 7: be a support for him, which I think I am, but. 803 00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,799 Speaker 1: I like it sounds like you definitely are. 804 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:14,480 Speaker 6: Yeah. 805 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:15,400 Speaker 5: I try. 806 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,640 Speaker 7: And I've known him since, like I said, I you seven, 807 00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,719 Speaker 7: and you know, we've had instances where Who'll just come 808 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,560 Speaker 7: and talk to me and start telling me stuff about 809 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,359 Speaker 7: girls or whatever is going on in school and we've 810 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:30,880 Speaker 7: had some good conversations like why he thinks he lies 811 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,839 Speaker 7: and why he thinks he does and thinks he does. 812 00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,279 Speaker 7: And I've noticed that if he is not being yelled at, 813 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 7: he is also more inclined to be calm, which is, 814 00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:41,960 Speaker 7: you know, the ideal. 815 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,759 Speaker 4: Well, of course, I mean everyone's going to be more 816 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:48,520 Speaker 4: common they're not being yelled at. Yeah, what do you think, Wendy. 817 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:53,640 Speaker 2: Well, first question, are they in therapy together? 818 00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:58,520 Speaker 7: He was in anger management classes when he lived back 819 00:37:58,560 --> 00:37:59,600 Speaker 7: out on the West Coast. 820 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 5: And I'm a big proponent for therapy. I wish he 821 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,360 Speaker 5: would do it, that his dad would kind of push 822 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,040 Speaker 5: to do it. He thinks he doesn't need it, Okay, Well, 823 00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:09,600 Speaker 5: two of. 824 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,080 Speaker 2: Them need to be in therapy together. 825 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,680 Speaker 1: I think Yeah, I think so too. I think that's 826 00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:14,280 Speaker 1: a great idea. 827 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,880 Speaker 2: And I'm I am a little concerned that you have 828 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:22,279 Speaker 2: been adamant about how you don't want kids, but you 829 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 2: are taking on this mother role. I don't know that 830 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:27,719 Speaker 2: that just kind of stuck out to me, like hmm, 831 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:30,080 Speaker 2: I don't know, Beth. 832 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 4: I think, at the very minimum, the least that your 833 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:38,120 Speaker 4: husband can do in exchange for you taking on this 834 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:42,440 Speaker 4: role that you did not seek out for yourself would 835 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 4: be to mandate that there is a you know, therapy 836 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,720 Speaker 4: like that, that he goes to therapy with his son, 837 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,560 Speaker 4: or that his son go alone. He's the father, the 838 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,560 Speaker 4: kid is fifteen. He doesn't really have a choice. 839 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:56,719 Speaker 1: It doesn't matter that a. 840 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:58,440 Speaker 2: Fifteen year old doesn't think they need therapy. 841 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:02,120 Speaker 4: That's just in valle you know, like, and that has 842 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,080 Speaker 4: to be on him, and you know what I mean, 843 00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,040 Speaker 4: that has nothing to do with you. It can't be 844 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,480 Speaker 4: coming from you. It has to be coming from his father. 845 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,840 Speaker 4: And that could be an easy requirement. He wasn't living 846 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,120 Speaker 4: with you guys, and he was going to anger managements. 847 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,960 Speaker 4: That's a sign that he should be continuing in the 848 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,520 Speaker 4: direction of therapy in some capacity for sure. 849 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,719 Speaker 2: Yeah. And you shouldn't be the only one doing all 850 00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:25,680 Speaker 2: the inner work. You know, you're in recovery. You said 851 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,600 Speaker 2: so that that can be very triggering. And I feel 852 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,799 Speaker 2: like that's the biggest piece of the puzzle is the 853 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,520 Speaker 2: two of them need to work on this together. 854 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:36,800 Speaker 4: So can you talk to your husband about that? Do 855 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,480 Speaker 4: you feel comfortable having that conversation? 856 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, for sure, And I think you might be open 857 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:41,200 Speaker 5: to it. 858 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,080 Speaker 7: I hadn't thought about that before of both of them 859 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:47,760 Speaker 7: going together, because like my partner, we were together in therapy, 860 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,399 Speaker 7: which we've only what we've been doing it for about 861 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,240 Speaker 7: three months now, which it's it's been helpful, but he's 862 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:55,080 Speaker 7: admitted and knows he parents from a place of guilt 863 00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:56,320 Speaker 7: of like dad guilt. 864 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,960 Speaker 5: But that's that's in stuff he needs to deal with. 865 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:00,600 Speaker 6: Not me. 866 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, and and and he should and that kid should 867 00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,360 Speaker 4: just be going to therapy on his own anyway. You know, 868 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,000 Speaker 4: it sounds like he's been uprooted and moved around, like 869 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,319 Speaker 4: he needs to go to therapy. You don't just go 870 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,360 Speaker 4: to anger management classes. And then that's the end of 871 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,920 Speaker 4: the story. You know, there's got to be another transition 872 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,360 Speaker 4: and another phase out and it's only going to be helpful. 873 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:20,960 Speaker 1: But that has to come from your husband. 874 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,240 Speaker 4: So why don't you have that conversation with your husband 875 00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,279 Speaker 4: and be like, listen, this is I'm putting a lot 876 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,080 Speaker 4: of effort here, you know. And also the self work 877 00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,320 Speaker 4: that you're talking about, like you know, letting him trie 878 00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,640 Speaker 4: like you're doing a great job. So patch yourself on 879 00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:36,759 Speaker 4: the back for that. This kid's not going to unmoor you. 880 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:39,239 Speaker 4: He's not gonna you know, you're think of yourself as 881 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,480 Speaker 4: a tree. You're a tree and there are leaves and 882 00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,160 Speaker 4: there are branches that might wave around through the wind 883 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:47,880 Speaker 4: and storms, but you were firmly planted in the ground. 884 00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:51,920 Speaker 4: You've done your work, You're in recovery, and this is 885 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,560 Speaker 4: just another way that you can like spread your love around, 886 00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:59,640 Speaker 4: you know, via him, with with all of the components 887 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,200 Speaker 4: in play, and that being one of the major components 888 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:02,800 Speaker 4: being therapy. 889 00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:03,719 Speaker 5: Thank you. 890 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:07,360 Speaker 7: I do really appreciate that because I've really been trying 891 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:11,279 Speaker 7: and yeah, on the start, it was a debate for me, 892 00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:13,000 Speaker 7: and inner debate of do I stay or do I 893 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:17,439 Speaker 7: go because of just the trauma I've been through my life, 894 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,480 Speaker 7: you know, being the seven and just mothering and parenting 895 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,719 Speaker 7: is just I like my time being my time. I 896 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 7: like to have my freedom, and I mean I still 897 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:28,920 Speaker 7: kind of have that. It was a it was a 898 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,720 Speaker 7: real adjustment in the beginning last fall. 899 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:32,799 Speaker 1: I bet, I bet. 900 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,360 Speaker 3: I think one way to get a little bit of 901 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,720 Speaker 3: time back is he's fifteen. He can do his own laundry. 902 00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:38,120 Speaker 1: Let's get that off your plate. 903 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,200 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't need to be cleaning 904 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,640 Speaker 4: semen out of socks. That's that's yeah, below your pay grade. 905 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,080 Speaker 3: Okay, Beth, will you check in with us and let 906 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:48,360 Speaker 3: us know. 907 00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:48,920 Speaker 1: How it goes? 908 00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,640 Speaker 5: Yes, definitely, thank you. I just want to say thank 909 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:52,120 Speaker 5: you so much. 910 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,239 Speaker 7: And Chelsea, I look up to you so much and 911 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:58,040 Speaker 7: value your authenticity like I just, I really am so 912 00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,600 Speaker 7: grateful for this opportunity and I just I yeah, I 913 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,080 Speaker 7: just You're an inspiration to me. 914 00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:03,000 Speaker 5: So thank you. 915 00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:06,200 Speaker 1: I love it. Thank you so much. Thank you you. 916 00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,480 Speaker 2: As well, Hi beg. All right, well let's take a 917 00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,200 Speaker 2: quick break and we can come back with our caller. 918 00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,600 Speaker 1: Okay, well, take a quick break, we'll be right back. 919 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,400 Speaker 4: Please tag me for the Special because I get so 920 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,399 Speaker 4: many tags about my books, but I'm not getting as 921 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:20,320 Speaker 4: many about my special and my special is the newest 922 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,000 Speaker 4: thing out, so I want to make sure all my 923 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,879 Speaker 4: Ardent fans are watching it and tagging me and I'll 924 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:31,520 Speaker 4: repost you. And yes, it's called the Feeling, And we're 925 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:36,360 Speaker 4: back with Wendy McLendon covey. How I'm alifluous. It just 926 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:37,640 Speaker 4: rolls right off, just. 927 00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:38,560 Speaker 2: Roll, you know what. 928 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, Wendy McLendon covey. 929 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:45,960 Speaker 3: Yes, Well, our last caller today is Alexandra. She is 930 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:49,080 Speaker 3: thirty two. She says, Dear Chelsea, I am in a 931 00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:52,840 Speaker 3: very awkward situation with my neighbor. Me and my neighbor 932 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,720 Speaker 3: became friends this past year over our dogs. Becoming friends, 933 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,399 Speaker 3: we started so annoying. We started going on dog walks 934 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:02,719 Speaker 3: together and hanging out occasionally, having drinks and things like that. 935 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,719 Speaker 3: We never had any issues until she slept with my 936 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,320 Speaker 3: best friend Jack. When I found out they were texting, 937 00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,640 Speaker 3: I told them both they shouldn't sleep with each other 938 00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:13,839 Speaker 3: because it's going to make things very weird between all 939 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,440 Speaker 3: of us, and boy did it. Essentially, they ended up 940 00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,080 Speaker 3: sleeping together, both agreeing that it was a one night stand, 941 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:21,400 Speaker 3: and after he didn't message her because it was a 942 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:24,800 Speaker 3: one night stand, she started acting really weird. She started 943 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:26,840 Speaker 3: to take her feelings out on me on our dog walks, 944 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,759 Speaker 3: even though I asked not to be involved. Two times 945 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,439 Speaker 3: she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk, 946 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,760 Speaker 3: and the walk was perfectly fine, until out of nowhere 947 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,440 Speaker 3: she corners me and says things like, I feel like 948 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,640 Speaker 3: I'm just your dog walking friend and we never hang 949 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:41,279 Speaker 3: out together on the weekends. She started to get really 950 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,600 Speaker 3: possessive over me, to the point where I had some 951 00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,520 Speaker 3: friends over for my birthday with my friend Jack included, 952 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,680 Speaker 3: and she got really weird because she wasn't invited. I 953 00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:51,680 Speaker 3: decided that I needed to tell her she can't treat 954 00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:53,600 Speaker 3: me like shit like this before we go out, so 955 00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:56,920 Speaker 3: I replied to a text with the following, I wanted 956 00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:58,640 Speaker 3: to say this before we go out to walk again. 957 00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:00,799 Speaker 3: Since you and Jack slept together, you've taken some of 958 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,800 Speaker 3: your feelings out on me, and I don't want another 959 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,960 Speaker 3: awkward walk. Us being dog friends was never a problem 960 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,840 Speaker 3: before you guys slept together, and I don't feel like 961 00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,160 Speaker 3: I should have to explain myself for having close friends 962 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:13,040 Speaker 3: over for a party for you. Ntex Yeah, I'm cool 963 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,480 Speaker 3: if you are. I never got a response, and this 964 00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,040 Speaker 3: was a little while ago. I feel we're both actively 965 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,960 Speaker 3: avoiding each other, Chelsea, what do I do? Our windows 966 00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:27,520 Speaker 3: literally face each other. Alexandra Well, Hi, Hi, Alexandra Well, 967 00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:29,400 Speaker 3: good text, by the way, good text. 968 00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,120 Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know, you know, she has to 969 00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:34,279 Speaker 4: get over that. I don't know that there's anything you 970 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:38,399 Speaker 4: can do other than like time will pass. But it's 971 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,520 Speaker 4: gonna be a problem because Jack is your best friend, 972 00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,000 Speaker 4: so he's going to be resurfacing right. 973 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:45,399 Speaker 6: Yeah, to always a little bit of timeless pass now, 974 00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,319 Speaker 6: but we've bumped into each other and like not said 975 00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:50,840 Speaker 6: a word because I'm like, I'm not going to back down, 976 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,520 Speaker 6: and she probably feels the same. And yeah, they I 977 00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:56,880 Speaker 6: don't think they've spoken to each other either. They've probably 978 00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:00,279 Speaker 6: I think they said hi in passing, but I just 979 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:04,600 Speaker 6: been like, no, like you can't just ghost me like that. Yeah, 980 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:07,359 Speaker 6: I feel like it's really a strange behavior. But I'm 981 00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:08,520 Speaker 6: also not backing down. 982 00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,320 Speaker 4: Well, but also who I mean, like really, who gives 983 00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:13,720 Speaker 4: a shit about her? 984 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:14,719 Speaker 1: And you know what I mean? 985 00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,880 Speaker 4: You and your dogs, like like your dog has can 986 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,359 Speaker 4: you can go for a walk without her? 987 00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:20,520 Speaker 6: You don't. 988 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:22,600 Speaker 4: It's not like a relationship that is built, like you 989 00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:25,480 Speaker 4: have this deep, deep friendship like you were dog walking buddies. 990 00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:27,840 Speaker 4: So until she can actually get her shit together and 991 00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,719 Speaker 4: get over it, it was one night stand and that 992 00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,320 Speaker 4: take that face value people say all the time and 993 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:35,399 Speaker 4: to fine with that, and then they're not fine with it, 994 00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,080 Speaker 4: and it's so annoying. 995 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,000 Speaker 1: It's like you knew what. 996 00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:42,920 Speaker 4: This was, so I wouldn't worry about extending an olive 997 00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,920 Speaker 4: branch or anything. You know, after like a few months 998 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,000 Speaker 4: go by you can like if you want to drop 999 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:49,840 Speaker 4: a bottle of wine at our front door and be like, 1000 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,359 Speaker 4: are you ready to just start walking our dogs again 1001 00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:53,479 Speaker 4: or do you need more time? 1002 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:53,879 Speaker 2: Yeah? 1003 00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:55,359 Speaker 4: You know what I mean, Like you could do something 1004 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,560 Speaker 4: cute like that if you want to, but it sounds 1005 00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,960 Speaker 4: like you don't want to. And by the way, who cares, Like, yes, 1006 00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,680 Speaker 4: your windows face each other, but you know this is 1007 00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,560 Speaker 4: why you don't become friends with your neighbors. 1008 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,720 Speaker 5: Oh my god, I definitely learned my lesson. 1009 00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:13,000 Speaker 6: We had some new neighbors moving a couple days ago, 1010 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:17,839 Speaker 6: and now I was just like hello, and also and yeah, 1011 00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:21,680 Speaker 6: you're so right. I don't really I've really stopped caring 1012 00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,120 Speaker 6: about being friends. I think in the beginning it was 1013 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:27,239 Speaker 6: just really weird because our windows literally face each other, 1014 00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,439 Speaker 6: and like her front door is right there, and I'll 1015 00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:33,040 Speaker 6: see her leave and she'll see me leave, and it's 1016 00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,440 Speaker 6: just like, yeah, I don't care, but our dogs will 1017 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:37,560 Speaker 6: just be like oh my god, you again and like 1018 00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:41,080 Speaker 6: my friend like and then I'm just like, no, you 1019 00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:46,080 Speaker 6: can't be friends anymore. This friendship's over. Yeah, And we 1020 00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,439 Speaker 6: like bumped into each other out on a dog walk 1021 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,760 Speaker 6: and like nobody else was there. It was really weird. 1022 00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,279 Speaker 6: It was like six in the morning, and like our 1023 00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,239 Speaker 6: dogs were like playing with each other and we just 1024 00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:56,759 Speaker 6: didn't say a word to each other. 1025 00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:58,560 Speaker 2: And I was just like, this is so weird. 1026 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:00,640 Speaker 6: But yeah, I don't really want to be her friend, 1027 00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:03,680 Speaker 6: if I'm honest with you, because clearly her friendships you 1028 00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:07,040 Speaker 6: have to have like terms and conditions and I'm not 1029 00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,120 Speaker 6: really do exactly. 1030 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,440 Speaker 1: And it's annoying, right, Wendy, don't you agree? 1031 00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:13,560 Speaker 2: Like who I mean, it's hard when the dog children 1032 00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,960 Speaker 2: get involved, I know, But the only thing you can do, Yeah, 1033 00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:21,719 Speaker 2: the only sane thing to do is ignore the whole situation. Yeah, 1034 00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,560 Speaker 2: she's an adult who made an adult decision, and this 1035 00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:26,560 Speaker 2: does not have to fall on those shoulders. 1036 00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,400 Speaker 4: She's an adult who made an adult decision and then 1037 00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:32,399 Speaker 4: acted like is acting like a child. So and you 1038 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,880 Speaker 4: didn't do anything wrong except for warn them not to 1039 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,439 Speaker 4: do it because of this outcome and now you're sitting here. 1040 00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:39,080 Speaker 1: You didn't do anything to her. 1041 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,759 Speaker 6: No, And I even tried, like before they when they 1042 00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,600 Speaker 6: were talking about sleeping with each other, I had her 1043 00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:48,400 Speaker 6: around and I did like the whole girl coaching, and 1044 00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:51,239 Speaker 6: I was just like, I'm going to look after you here, 1045 00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,080 Speaker 6: and I'm going to tell you not to do it 1046 00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:57,120 Speaker 6: or please not to do it, because like and try 1047 00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:58,640 Speaker 6: to say it in a nice way, like he is 1048 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,640 Speaker 6: my best friend and it wasn't like you're not, but 1049 00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:05,120 Speaker 6: also like it just is going to get weird and 1050 00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,640 Speaker 6: it's like, oh, but it isn't a little bit of fun, okay, 1051 00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:09,760 Speaker 6: And I'm just like and I knew he just wanted 1052 00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,080 Speaker 6: to one nice son anyway, and you made it perfectly clear. 1053 00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:14,960 Speaker 6: And then I just had a feeling something crazy was 1054 00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:16,560 Speaker 6: going to happen. And then they did it anyway, and 1055 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,080 Speaker 6: I was just like, look, I've warned you, and I 1056 00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:21,280 Speaker 6: tried to be like the good girlfriend and you didn't listen, 1057 00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:23,280 Speaker 6: and now you're just being really strange. 1058 00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:26,000 Speaker 3: So yeah, I feel like you don't have to be 1059 00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:28,120 Speaker 3: friends with her, but just to like, you know, you've 1060 00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,840 Speaker 3: said to her, hey, we're cool, and I would just 1061 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,080 Speaker 3: act as such like you are going to run into 1062 00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:35,560 Speaker 3: her when you do like hey, so and so and like. 1063 00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:39,439 Speaker 4: And she's were that's on her, Like I you don't 1064 00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,440 Speaker 4: have to ingest that, you know what I mean? You be, 1065 00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:43,960 Speaker 4: you do, you do your thing. You don't have to 1066 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:45,640 Speaker 4: be silent when you see you can say how are 1067 00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:46,239 Speaker 4: you didn't know what? 1068 00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,560 Speaker 1: Or did you read this or I don't know whatever. 1069 00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,560 Speaker 4: You guys would normally talk about or talk about something 1070 00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:53,160 Speaker 4: related to the dogs. But like, if she's acting strange, 1071 00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:57,359 Speaker 4: then that's on her. You haven't done anything, yeah yeah, yeah, 1072 00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,759 Speaker 4: and you warned her I. 1073 00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:02,120 Speaker 6: Did. 1074 00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:06,120 Speaker 2: You are absolved from any responsibility. 1075 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:10,480 Speaker 6: That's I think why I'm more mad than like sad. 1076 00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,440 Speaker 6: I just got really angry because I was just like 1077 00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:16,520 Speaker 6: I tried to do the right thing by you, and 1078 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:20,319 Speaker 6: really I really didn't need to clearly didn't need to 1079 00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:21,640 Speaker 6: like try and look after you. 1080 00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:28,000 Speaker 1: So thanks, Okay, Well problem solved. You need to move. 1081 00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:31,479 Speaker 5: I keep hoping she will. 1082 00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:34,640 Speaker 1: I hope she does too. 1083 00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,680 Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm sure she will, all right. 1084 00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,240 Speaker 2: Thanks for being out in Alexandra. 1085 00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:45,520 Speaker 6: Thank you so much, thank you bye bye. 1086 00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:47,560 Speaker 4: That this reminds me of an expression from like one 1087 00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:49,759 Speaker 4: of my second grade teachers who used to say a 1088 00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:52,439 Speaker 4: word to the wise. Who did she say a word 1089 00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:55,520 Speaker 4: to the wise? Should be sufficient? That reminded me The 1090 00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,839 Speaker 4: story is like, don't talk to your neighbors. You know 1091 00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:03,080 Speaker 4: you can be you can be neighborly, but don't get 1092 00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:04,359 Speaker 4: involved with them. 1093 00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:07,080 Speaker 2: Well, since since I'm in New Orleans, I do have 1094 00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:12,320 Speaker 2: a folk magic sure or for sketchy neighbors. 1095 00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:12,920 Speaker 6: What is it? 1096 00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,920 Speaker 2: And that is you focus a mirror at their house 1097 00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:19,480 Speaker 2: and all their bad energy gets reflected back to them. 1098 00:50:19,920 --> 00:50:25,080 Speaker 2: Oh so, you know, depends on how bad they are, 1099 00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:28,320 Speaker 2: how sketchy they really are, the you know, whatever happens 1100 00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,520 Speaker 2: as a result. But we did that with some of 1101 00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:31,680 Speaker 2: our neighbors and they moved. 1102 00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:33,800 Speaker 1: Well. 1103 00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:35,800 Speaker 4: Great, Wendy, wait to wait for the guests to be 1104 00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:38,839 Speaker 4: off of the show to tell us that, especially when 1105 00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:41,200 Speaker 4: they have two windows fucking facing each other. 1106 00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:49,040 Speaker 2: Well, she's gonna listen to this podcast. Error doesn't have 1107 00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:50,000 Speaker 2: to be a big one. 1108 00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:53,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, and then you know that's a great that's great. 1109 00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:58,360 Speaker 2: I would try it, try it. Yeah, that can happen. 1110 00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:00,799 Speaker 1: Okay, Wendy, thank you so much for being on the 1111 00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:01,720 Speaker 1: podcast today. 1112 00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:03,239 Speaker 2: Thank you for having me. 1113 00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:06,440 Speaker 4: And when does this have St. Dennis Medical Season two start? 1114 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,920 Speaker 2: You know, we start back at work in June, but 1115 00:51:10,200 --> 00:51:13,400 Speaker 2: I'm assuming the fall we will be back on NBC. 1116 00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:14,960 Speaker 2: So awesome. 1117 00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,839 Speaker 4: Yeah, and is it Peacock or is it NBC? It's 1118 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,880 Speaker 4: NBC the first run and then the next day on Peacock. 1119 00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:23,640 Speaker 1: Okay, so everybody can watch Saint Dennis Medical on. 1120 00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:26,920 Speaker 4: NBC or Peacock and you can catch up on Peacock 1121 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,480 Speaker 4: and you can catch up on Peacock. Watch it first 1122 00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:30,799 Speaker 4: and then catch up on it later. 1123 00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:31,640 Speaker 2: Exactly. 1124 00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,560 Speaker 4: Thank you so much for being here, love, Thanks for 1125 00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:35,719 Speaker 4: having speaking with you. 1126 00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,240 Speaker 1: All right, have a great day in New Orleans. 1127 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,160 Speaker 2: Thank you. Okay, have a good one as well. Talk 1128 00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:42,600 Speaker 2: to you soon. 1129 00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:44,480 Speaker 1: Bye. Okay. 1130 00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,360 Speaker 4: My remaining dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates for 1131 00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:53,440 Speaker 4: this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in 1132 00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:57,880 Speaker 4: Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July fifth. 1133 00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,760 Speaker 4: We will be the next date that I'm there, July fifth, 1134 00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:05,759 Speaker 4: August thirtieth, and then November one and twenty ninth. November 1135 00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:09,200 Speaker 4: one and November twenty ninth, I will be in Las 1136 00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:13,160 Speaker 4: Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea. 1137 00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:16,160 Speaker 1: It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay, 1138 00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:17,080 Speaker 1: thank you. 1139 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,600 Speaker 3: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea 1140 00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:24,239 Speaker 3: podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of 1141 00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:27,399 Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea pod. 1142 00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:29,240 Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is edited 1143 00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:33,480 Speaker 3: And engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law, and 1144 00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,759 Speaker 3: be sure to check out our merch at chelseahandler dot 1145 00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:38,040 Speaker 3: com