1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I am Matt. 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,520 Speaker 1: Today we're talking why you need a money coach in 3 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 1: your corner with Erica Young. So our guest today, Erica 4 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: Young is the financial coach that she never had. As 5 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,319 Speaker 1: a newlywood couple, Erica and her husband they discovered that 6 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: it's actually pretty easy to become just like the average 7 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: US household that now has over dollars in debt. It's 8 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:46,559 Speaker 1: the norm, honestly, and if you don't have a plan 9 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: to avoid debt, you're gonna likely find yourself falling into 10 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,480 Speaker 1: that trap. But that is not the path that Erica 11 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 1: continued along with. She was determined to change her family 12 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: tree and now she helps others who are seeking financial 13 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: freedom in their lives. Eric started her company, Taylor Made Budgets, 14 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: where she creates custom plans for her clients that give 15 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,479 Speaker 1: them the tools and the knowledge to cut their stress 16 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 1: levels by increasing their savings and decreasing their debt. That 17 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: is what we're talking about today. Erica, thank you so 18 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,679 Speaker 1: much for joining us today on the podcast. Thank you 19 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. Erica. 20 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 1: We're glad to have you. And the first question we 21 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 1: ask everybody who comes on the show, is what they 22 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 1: like to support John, because that kind of tells us 23 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: something about the guest pretty quickly. Matt and I we 24 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: like to support John Beer. Everybody knows that. But what 25 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: is it that you like to support John in the 26 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: here and now while you're being smart with your money, 27 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 1: you're saving and investing still for your future. Yeah. Well, 28 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 1: I love vacations, and I don't just like a little getaway. 29 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 1: I mean those are fine, Those are fine, but I 30 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 1: like to spend good money on great food and beautiful 31 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: like a villa. I typically we'll go in with some friends, 32 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: do a couple's trip, and we do the biggest and 33 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: best that we can, honestly, right. Yeah, Like, so that 34 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: is my little guilty pleasure. I will spend lots of 35 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: money on vacation and I plan to do that for 36 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 1: the rest of my life. There it is makes I 37 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,919 Speaker 1: want to travel with me too. I'm like, I'm we're 38 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: so used to just like sort of slumming it. Like 39 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 1: we go to the beach often. I mean every every 40 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: summer we go to the beach together with our families. 41 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 1: And it's a fine balance between finding the absolute cheapest 42 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 1: place but something that's nice enough to keep our families happy, 43 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: but probably not roach infested. But but nothing that we 44 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: would call a villa. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, we 45 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: haven't done the villa thing. That sounds nice. Oh my gosh, 46 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,519 Speaker 1: it's great. It's so much fun and it's so much more, 47 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 1: you know, economical, when you've got a bunch of people 48 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: with you when you do this, how many how many 49 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,239 Speaker 1: couples typically do you like to like? I feel like 50 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 1: there's an optimal range because above a certain amount and 51 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: start there's there's drama. They may they may as well 52 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,919 Speaker 1: be filming because we're gonna make this reality. You are 53 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,359 Speaker 1: correct about it. Now, last year we did six couples, 54 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 1: but I've been I've been on a cruise with fifteen 55 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: so fitch couples. Yeah, okay, yes, so cruise you can 56 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: facilitate that a lot easier. But what I'll say is, 57 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, you just take people you like 58 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: and then you have to weed out those that don't 59 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 1: work so well. It's amazing to how people that you 60 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,960 Speaker 1: like at home maybe you don't travel the same with them, 61 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: So you have to kind of figure out who who 62 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,360 Speaker 1: makes a good travel companion. Not every good buddy actually 63 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: turns out to be a great travel travel buddy. That's 64 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: true too, I have learned that as well. Well. Hopefully 65 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,519 Speaker 1: you're able to remain friends with America even though it 66 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: didn't work out of the villa. But let let's talk 67 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: about debt because you and your husband you were newlyweds, uh, 68 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: and you were like around ninety dollars in debt, So 69 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 1: we want to hear your story a little bit here. 70 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: What kinds of debt had you racked up? And specifically too, 71 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 1: how did you get to the point where you realized 72 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: that having that much, that that was a problem for 73 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:53,280 Speaker 1: you all. Honestly, we were pretty normal. I mean this 74 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: was twenty going on twenty five years ago, to be honest, 75 00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: and we were normal. We had credit card debt between 76 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: the two of us, we had about seven credit cards. 77 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: None of them were super duper high, but when you've 78 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: got that many, it's a lot, it's a lot to juggle. 79 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: And then we also had car debt, two cars between us, 80 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: um and we had student loans, which was the biggest 81 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: portion of it. So more than half of that ninety 82 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: thousand was in student loans, and that was normal. Honestly, 83 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: everyone expects to have a car note, everybody expects to 84 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 1: have a credit card or two. And then, of course 85 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 1: you can't get out of college quote unquote without college debt, 86 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 1: so it was pretty normal. We didn't have anything that 87 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 1: we were really overspending on. This is actually how we 88 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,600 Speaker 1: started our life. We got out of college and this 89 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 1: is what we had. It wasn't abnormal at the time, 90 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,799 Speaker 1: and so that's part of the challenges that we're told 91 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,359 Speaker 1: that it's okay and so we do it. And when 92 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:52,919 Speaker 1: I was an engineer working in corporate America and my 93 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: husband was a sales professional, there were a few moments 94 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 1: in those early months of our relationship when we got 95 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 1: married that we realized, hold on a second, there's so 96 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,720 Speaker 1: much more month left, and we don't have enough money. 97 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: So between the car payments and the student loans and 98 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: all that, we started to realize, gosh, there's not a 99 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: whole lot left even though we're working professionals, you know, 100 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: And so we realized that we needed a game plan. 101 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: And um, that's when we started to have the revelation 102 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,359 Speaker 1: that man, if I can't go to lunch with my 103 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: coworkers and I'm an engineer, there's a bigger problem here. Um, 104 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 1: it's not like your salary was crummy as an engineer, 105 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 1: like you're probably are making decent money exactly exactly, and so, 106 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,600 Speaker 1: but we also had decent debt, right, so our debt 107 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 1: payments amounted to over a thousand dollars a month. And 108 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: then you add on that we had a baby quick, 109 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: you know, in the first year and a half of 110 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 1: our marriage, and then we had another one at three 111 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,600 Speaker 1: four years later, and so you know, you start compounding 112 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:57,039 Speaker 1: these things and life is expensive and you're not sure 113 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 1: what you're supposed to be doing. So um, we quickly realized. 114 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,600 Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, I'm kind of glad that it happened early, 115 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: because we were foolish enough to believe that anything was possible, 116 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,359 Speaker 1: so we went after it, and that, you know, forced 117 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: us to get real with our money early on. When 118 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,799 Speaker 1: a lot of my clients today they have waited until 119 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:20,159 Speaker 1: there are forties and fifties and they're like, oh my gosh, 120 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: my kids are going to college and now I need 121 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: to get my act together. So you know, there are 122 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: benefits to tripping over yourself earlier. That's sure, you're learning 123 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 1: some lessons before you get too far along. I love 124 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: what you said that you said we were pretty normal. 125 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: And there's so many people that have, you know, tens 126 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,359 Speaker 1: of thousands dollars worth the student loan debt, and they're like, 127 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 1: I see the headlines. I'm not as bad off as 128 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: some of those folks. And they've got a little bit 129 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: of credit card to your debt here. They got a 130 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: little bit of of card debt over here, and it's like, 131 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: well that, but that's normal, right, I'm actually maybe I'm 132 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: doing a little bit better than average even but you 133 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,359 Speaker 1: began to realize that this wasn't the normal you wanted 134 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 1: to live in. So so, how did how did you 135 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: and your husband and young kids is? How did y'all 136 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 1: start tackling that debt? What was your approach to paying 137 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: it down? Well, the first thing that my husband did 138 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: was he actually took my credit card away from me 139 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: because I was the one that, yes, this was confession time. 140 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 1: Like I I was swiping that car to have lunch. 141 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: I was swiping that car to do the things that 142 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 1: did not fit inside of our normal routine or what 143 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,679 Speaker 1: we could use in our checking account, and and so 144 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 1: I it was confession time. And I had to share 145 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: that because honestly, I can't. We can't continue to go 146 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 1: into debt if we're really trying to get out. So 147 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 1: something has to stop here. And so that was, you know, 148 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 1: a real honest moment that we had to have. And 149 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: so he literally put it in a bowl of ice, 150 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: and we'll put it in a bowl of water, put 151 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: it in the fraser so it could turn into ice. 152 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 1: And it was before those times when you plugged in 153 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: your account number or your debit card number into Amazon 154 00:07:55,520 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: phys exactly. And so that was the restraint, you know, 155 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 1: in the physical representation of we're not doing this anymore. 156 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 1: And then honestly, we just added up all of our expenses. 157 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 1: I mean a lot of people are very nervous to 158 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: add up and look at and face how much they 159 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: spend on a monthly basis. And when we did that, 160 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 1: we realized there was opportunity. It wasn't what we thought 161 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 1: it was going to look like, and we had to 162 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: face that and just say, okay, so now what we're 163 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 1: what are we going to do about it? So I 164 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: think a reality check is the very first step for 165 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 1: lots of people. That's true. Yeah, So okay, so as 166 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,680 Speaker 1: you started down this path, did you have any setbacks 167 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,599 Speaker 1: along the way. Well, I'm gonna go ahead and and 168 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 1: kind of reveal I'll spell the beans, because I know 169 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: you had some car issues. You have some car problems, 170 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: and you did have to go back into debt. But 171 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,840 Speaker 1: I guess what I specifically want to know is how 172 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,839 Speaker 1: did you keep that from derailing you? Because I think 173 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: sometimes when you've got this, you've got this goal up 174 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: ahead of you and you know this is something you 175 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 1: want to achieve, but then you kind of get hit 176 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 1: with this hurdle, uh something, it might derail you a 177 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,679 Speaker 1: little bit. I want to know how you were able 178 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: to overcome that and continue pressing on towards that goal 179 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 1: of years. Yeah. Yeah, So our car died. Our car 180 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,559 Speaker 1: died and had it needed an engine, and we did 181 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: not have the thousand dollars that was needed in order 182 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:16,400 Speaker 1: for us to get that car resurrected. And so we 183 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 1: went without a car for a season, really just a 184 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 1: month when I was with a new child and my 185 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: husband was able to go to work. But then we 186 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: got another car, you know, loan, and so what we 187 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 1: realized was, man, okay, so if we're not prepared, then 188 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: that means we go further into debt, and that was 189 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,199 Speaker 1: kind of the last straw. That was the last thing 190 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: that we said, all right, we had to add this 191 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 1: to our debt. That's what put us over that ninety 192 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: thousand and so we said, all right, let's let's figure 193 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: this out. We added everything up, and we just said, 194 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: we can't be back in this place again where we 195 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: are unprepared, meaning we don't have anything in savings and 196 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: we can't weather an emergency. And so that was the 197 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:57,959 Speaker 1: first thing we did was get a little bit of 198 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 1: an emergency fund so that we didn't have depend on 199 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,960 Speaker 1: credit cards. And then we started tackling the debt seriously 200 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,000 Speaker 1: at that point so that we, you know, could reduce 201 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 1: our expenses because honestly, having over a thousand or swelve 202 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: hundred dollars a month going out in payments was also 203 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: why we couldn't afford to get the car fixed. And 204 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 1: so those are the things that we started to realize 205 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: and say, okay, early on, if we get this right now, 206 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 1: then maybe we don't have to return to this place again. Yeah. 207 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: So it sounds like instead of that, instead of that 208 00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: hampering your ability to reach, like, oh, it just poured 209 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,840 Speaker 1: some fuel on the fire and it caused you to 210 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,080 Speaker 1: maybe get after it even more than you were before 211 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,679 Speaker 1: it did. Yeah, and I think we were also committed 212 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 1: to the fact that, you know, we wanted something different 213 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: than what we grew up with. The truth of the 214 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: matter is that both of my husband and I came 215 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,560 Speaker 1: from single parent households, and we saw our moms struggle 216 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: and we said, well, we've got two incomes, we should 217 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,319 Speaker 1: be able to do a little bit better than that, 218 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: right we and so we knew that there was something 219 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: to this, but we couldn't. You know, we tripped over 220 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,439 Speaker 1: ourselves a little bit in the beginning, but it takes 221 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,839 Speaker 1: the termination and it takes resolved and so we were 222 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 1: on the same page where that was concerned. Sometimes the 223 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: methods weren't exactly the same um because you're never gonna 224 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 1: always agree, but it was good to know that, like, 225 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: we had the same type of foundation, because we really 226 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 1: just wanted to make sure that we had a better 227 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,079 Speaker 1: future for our kids than what we hit. Yeah, it's 228 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: good to know. And Matt and I've talked about this before, 229 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,960 Speaker 1: being on the same team. Recognizing that you're on the 230 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: same team when a setback happens, it keeps you from 231 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 1: pointing fingers at each other. You're like, wait a second, 232 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: we're on the same team. This setback affects us both, 233 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,720 Speaker 1: and so let's find a way to overcome this hurdle together. 234 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: And I gotta say, sometimes I'm overly optimistic my and 235 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: my wife tells me that often, like she loves my optimism, 236 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,959 Speaker 1: but she's also like, it also greats on me sometimes 237 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,959 Speaker 1: because you're completely unrealistic. And so I have to realize 238 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 1: too that when I'm saying, oh, it's gonna take me 239 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 1: thirty minutes to do this repair around the house, knowing 240 00:11:50,559 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: that it's probably actually likely gonna take me an hour 241 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,400 Speaker 1: and a half and to do that task. Sometimes when 242 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:56,719 Speaker 1: it comes to a debt payoff plane, you have to 243 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,439 Speaker 1: have a little bit of realism so that that one 244 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 1: hurdle it doesn't send you reeling um. And so knowing 245 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 1: building building in some place for imperfection, I think it's 246 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,320 Speaker 1: important in that plan too, right, right, absolutely, And don't 247 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:15,439 Speaker 1: expect for perfection from your partner because you know that 248 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 1: you aren't perfect either. Right, Like, it's super easy to 249 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 1: point a finger at someone else because you can see 250 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 1: their flaws. You don't want anyone to see yours. And 251 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,600 Speaker 1: so I love the fact that you even said, you know, 252 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 1: we have to remember that we're a team. One of 253 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,160 Speaker 1: the things my husband still does to this day is 254 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,679 Speaker 1: say out loud, we're on the same team. Like he 255 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 1: says it to remind himself and to remind me we're 256 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: on the same team. We want to go the same place. 257 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,439 Speaker 1: And so while we may not agree on sometimes the method, 258 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 1: that still means that we need to figure out how 259 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 1: we're going to get we're gonna you know, where we're 260 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,840 Speaker 1: gonna go together. So okay, so it took you how 261 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: long to pay off that debt? And how did you 262 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,319 Speaker 1: celebrate at the end of that debt payoff? Did you rella? 263 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: What did you do? That's awesome? Well, it took us 264 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 1: about five years. We had two kids in that time. 265 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 1: We had another setback was my husband got laid off. 266 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 1: You know, We've had a lot. We had a family 267 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: loss where we had emergencies we have to use our 268 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: emergency fund and all of that. So there was a 269 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 1: lot going on in there. Um, I do think, and 270 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 1: this is the reason why I do what I do. 271 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: I do think that we could have made some different 272 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,200 Speaker 1: decisions and gotten it paid off a little bit faster 273 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 1: if we had a coach. Um. And that's why I 274 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: jumped in to do this work, is to help people 275 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,600 Speaker 1: to avoid some of the pitfall so that they too 276 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:30,280 Speaker 1: can get out of it faster than they would have 277 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 1: on their own. And we celebrated along way. I'll be 278 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 1: very honest and say, when we paid off a car, 279 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 1: we celebrated. And so for us, you know, sometimes that 280 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:45,239 Speaker 1: was just a nice fancy dinner when we paid everything off. Honestly, 281 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 1: I walked away from my job like that was the 282 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:52,840 Speaker 1: biggest thing that that I could lead that position and 283 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 1: start the work that I wanted to do myself. And 284 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: so that was a huge financial change in our house. 285 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,679 Speaker 1: But it would is one of the biggest reasons why 286 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 1: getting out of debt was so critical for us, because, um, 287 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 1: it just created an opening for us to be able to, 288 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,559 Speaker 1: you know, change the way we do life. And I've 289 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: not looked back. It's been seventeen years and I have 290 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 1: no regrets at all. Um. No, I wasn't making today's 291 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 1: money back then when I first started, but because we 292 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: were out of debt, we could do it. And you know, 293 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 1: with little kids, sometimes that's the biggest thing that you 294 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 1: need is to be able to have some flexibility, I bet. Yeah. So, 295 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: I mean, was that difficult to to kind of transition 296 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 1: from that nicer, high paying engineer job where you're going 297 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 1: out to lunch or maybe not because you're your credit 298 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 1: cards were frozen at that point, Uh, bringing those leftovers 299 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: to work, That's how I roll. But even still, like, 300 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 1: even when you eliminate those those you know, a thousand 301 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 1: bucks and months in debt payments, I'm sure you're making 302 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,080 Speaker 1: more than twelve tho dollars a year, like you are 303 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,640 Speaker 1: going to feel that impact of losing that income. Was 304 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 1: that difficult for you to know that you're taking a 305 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 1: hit when it came to your income. It was an adjustment. 306 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 1: It was definitely in adjustment. And it took a couple 307 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: of years in all truth to get the business off 308 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,920 Speaker 1: and running the way I wanted it to. But I 309 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 1: didn't honestly, didn't leave until I did have some income 310 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,880 Speaker 1: in the business. It just didn't replace the whole amount. 311 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: And so yeah, I think, honestly, I know this sounds crazy, 312 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 1: but one of the bigger sacrifices that we made during 313 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 1: that time was that I couldn't invest in my retirement, right, 314 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: So I wasn't doing that, and that was something that 315 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 1: I had previously been doing. And one of the biggest 316 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: pieces of advice I would give someone is probably have 317 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: a bigger emergency fund than I had. So um that 318 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:40,600 Speaker 1: party at the time, Oh my gosh, we had solidly 319 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,720 Speaker 1: three months, Like we didn't have like a whole year 320 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: or anything like that. Yeah, and so we So I 321 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 1: would if you're going to become an entrepreneur and you're 322 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: not really sure what your income is gonna look like, 323 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 1: I would definitely expand that at least six months, if 324 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,560 Speaker 1: not twelve, um, just to be on the safe side. 325 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 1: For me, that would have meant staying longer um at work, 326 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 1: and we probably could have made that happen. But I 327 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,240 Speaker 1: really felt strongly that it was time for me to go, 328 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,080 Speaker 1: And so I now advised people to do what I 329 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,480 Speaker 1: didn't know to do, um, which is to have more 330 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,160 Speaker 1: money saved. But you know, I think, honestly, I still 331 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: have no regrets because it's it's been a great ride, 332 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 1: and um, it was the time that I needed to go. 333 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 1: And quite frankly, uh, we've been able to overcome that, right. 334 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 1: So it just took a little bit. It's slowly slow 335 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 1: now for the ideal way to do it, but you 336 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 1: got through it, and then now you're coaching other people 337 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 1: to do it even better, which I love and I 338 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 1: love to just that reality, the realization that that a 339 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,240 Speaker 1: an emergency fund that's even specific to an individual or 340 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 1: an individual situation. It's like, hey, you're gonna want you 341 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: want to quit your job and become an entrepreneur. You 342 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: need more runaway, you need more financial backup. But let's 343 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 1: say you dual income, great jobs that aren't going anywhere, 344 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 1: you know you can have Yeah, you can have a 345 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 1: smaller emergency fund, and that's okay. Um. I want I 346 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 1: want to ask you too about that transition to coaching 347 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 1: that you talked about. You know you talked about it 348 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,360 Speaker 1: took me five years. I think we could have done 349 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:11,680 Speaker 1: it faster. I want to basically help other people learn 350 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:14,159 Speaker 1: from the things that I was learning along the way 351 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,560 Speaker 1: that if I had known that from the get go, 352 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,880 Speaker 1: it probably would have happened a little bit quicker. Talk 353 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: to me more about like how that fostered in you 354 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: that desire to help others and what actually like kind 355 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,159 Speaker 1: of plunged you into you know what, I have to 356 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 1: do this full time as a job. Yeah. Well, what's 357 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,919 Speaker 1: interesting is that because of our journey, I had people 358 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: asking me questions. I wasn't silent about the fact that 359 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,520 Speaker 1: we were trying to get out of debts. So there 360 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,879 Speaker 1: would be times where we would say no to things, 361 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: or we would say yes to something different, or we 362 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 1: were taking a class, or I was reading a book. 363 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 1: But I was immersing myself and the work of trying 364 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,680 Speaker 1: to figure out how to get out and stay at 365 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 1: a DIBt. I was talking about my budget. I was vocal, 366 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 1: and so people would ask me questions. My pastor asked 367 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,040 Speaker 1: me a question, he said, hey, would you help somebody 368 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,160 Speaker 1: else do what you are doing? I said, sure, absolutely, 369 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 1: And so the first couple of clients, two or three 370 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,440 Speaker 1: people that I worked with were pro bono, just to 371 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,680 Speaker 1: kind of see if I liked it. And in that time, 372 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,840 Speaker 1: I was like, I loved seeing the lightbulb come on. 373 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,680 Speaker 1: At that time, I was actually going to someone's house 374 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 1: and we were looking at their bank statements on the table, 375 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 1: and when there would be a pivotal moment like did 376 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,320 Speaker 1: you know that you're dining out is five hundred dollars 377 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:34,399 Speaker 1: a month? Did you know that your kids activities was 378 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,960 Speaker 1: costing you this much, and the lightbulb comes on and 379 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,919 Speaker 1: they're like, wow, I had no idea. I thought it 380 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: was so much less than that, and they start to 381 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 1: realize why things have been so challenging. Um, I used 382 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,919 Speaker 1: to go. I actually went into someone's home and I 383 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,439 Speaker 1: saw immediately why they were in debt. They were not 384 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 1: a hoard or necessarily, but they had tons and tons 385 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 1: of things for their kids all over their place, and 386 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,879 Speaker 1: so it was very obvious. And so those are things 387 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 1: that looking back, give perspective to why people need somebody, 388 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:11,880 Speaker 1: somebody to walk with them through the process versus just saying, oh, 389 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,639 Speaker 1: I can do this on my own. And most of 390 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,240 Speaker 1: the time people don't do it on their own. They 391 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,719 Speaker 1: say they're going to do it. They're like, oh, I'm 392 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:18,920 Speaker 1: going to give this a month and I'm going to 393 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,399 Speaker 1: see if i can do it myself, and then they 394 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 1: realize they've done absolutely. And so accountability is huge and 395 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:27,880 Speaker 1: getting people to move the needle. I love that. That's 396 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 1: that's so good. I mean accountability. There's many other reasons 397 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 1: to why it might make sense to have a financial 398 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: coach in your corner. We're gonna talk all about coaching. 399 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,640 Speaker 1: What it entails. We'll get to all that right after 400 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: this break. Are we are back from the break, We're 401 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 1: still talking with Erica Young about why you need a 402 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,760 Speaker 1: money coach in your corner. And I think, I mean, 403 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: you just set it up perfectly right that that we 404 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 1: we always say we're going to do something, getting around 405 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 1: to it is another matter. I am maybe the king 406 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 1: of that. Remember, going back, going back to my college days, 407 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,959 Speaker 1: my procrastination levels were basically superior to anyone else's. And 408 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 1: so I want to I want to know though from me, 409 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,439 Speaker 1: like what are the signs maybe that someone needs the 410 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 1: help of a financial coach who maybe like, how can 411 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:22,960 Speaker 1: someone know that they should stop trying to do it 412 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 1: on their own and then they really just do need 413 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 1: the outsource that they need to hire someone to kind of, 414 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,880 Speaker 1: you know, give him the right kick in the butt. Yeah. Well, 415 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:31,960 Speaker 1: one of the very first signs is that you have 416 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 1: debt that hasn't moved. Um, your debt is either stagnant 417 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,400 Speaker 1: or it's growing, and so um, if you're not making 418 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 1: progress in that area, that's a that's one sign. Another 419 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:47,399 Speaker 1: one is wishful or magical thinking. So we like to 420 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,639 Speaker 1: believe that we are better than we are that we 421 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,159 Speaker 1: can do this ourselves or that at some point, just 422 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,720 Speaker 1: like with weight loss, we're like, oh, I want to 423 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:56,760 Speaker 1: lose some pounds and then we're magically like, oh, it's 424 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,439 Speaker 1: going to take me this amount of time. Well not 425 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 1: if you don't change something right, Like we're wishful thinking 426 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,800 Speaker 1: about lots of things in our lives and so that 427 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:10,360 Speaker 1: could be also something to wake up too. And then honestly, 428 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,680 Speaker 1: I would say, you know, if you realize that there 429 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,199 Speaker 1: are things in your life that you want but you 430 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,159 Speaker 1: haven't been able to achieve. So going on a nice vacation, 431 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:26,600 Speaker 1: having an emergency fund um, giving to organizations, or being 432 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: a part of something bigger than yourself, and those things 433 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 1: have not been able to happen. You're realizing that your 434 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:38,080 Speaker 1: your goals are bigger than your want to your actions 435 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,399 Speaker 1: are not lining up with the vision that you have. 436 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,719 Speaker 1: And so sometimes the coach can help you realize and 437 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 1: that what's missing really and you know, the the little 438 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,159 Speaker 1: kick in the tush that you need in order to 439 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:54,359 Speaker 1: get started. So that's having somebody on your team side 440 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:56,520 Speaker 1: by side with you who've been who's been down the road. 441 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:00,360 Speaker 1: And I've worked with hundreds of people, um it just 442 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,879 Speaker 1: helps you to see what you can see. I mean, 443 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,679 Speaker 1: sometimes we're just blind to what's really in the way 444 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,359 Speaker 1: absolutely where maybe we can see what's going on in 445 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:11,879 Speaker 1: other people's lives spending money on this right, when it 446 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,360 Speaker 1: comes to what you're spending your money on, it can 447 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,480 Speaker 1: be difficult to to recognize. And so yeah, I mean 448 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,800 Speaker 1: you're you're basically staying this and you said this before 449 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 1: the break, But it sounds like like that reality check 450 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,200 Speaker 1: is the first thing that that folks need to do. 451 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,639 Speaker 1: Do you do you have other like do you have 452 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,239 Speaker 1: different tactics that you take with different folks who come 453 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:33,320 Speaker 1: to you? Or like is it customizable when you're catching somebody? 454 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 1: Or yeah, like are there a few steps that everyone 455 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 1: should follow? Yeah, there are steps everyone should follow. It's 456 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,080 Speaker 1: customizable once I get to know who you are. So 457 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 1: one the reality check where you look at all of 458 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:48,679 Speaker 1: your income and all of your outgo expenses specifically need 459 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 1: to be broken down by category. Look at that first. 460 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: I typically say, have a glass of line, get some chocolate, 461 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:57,160 Speaker 1: put on some move music, or have a candle burning 462 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,320 Speaker 1: something to make you kind of get into that good mood. 463 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: But that's the first thing. And then I actually have 464 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,160 Speaker 1: an assessment that I do with people to understand their 465 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: behaviors and their habits around money. And so there's a 466 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,000 Speaker 1: checklist if you will, you kind of go through and 467 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,600 Speaker 1: rate everything, and I think it's really important for people 468 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 1: to understand what their behaviors currently are assess what's really 469 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 1: going on here. That's huge. I also think that adding 470 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,560 Speaker 1: up your debt and by that you might have to 471 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,880 Speaker 1: go look at your credit report to make sure you're 472 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:33,360 Speaker 1: not missing anything, but face where you are because if 473 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,800 Speaker 1: you don't do that, you don't know how you can 474 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 1: get to where you really need to be. It's kind 475 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,640 Speaker 1: of like the GPS lady. She has to locate you 476 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,920 Speaker 1: right where you are today before you put in that 477 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 1: address of where you're trying to go, so that you 478 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:51,119 Speaker 1: can get the straightest, quickest path there. But you can't 479 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,200 Speaker 1: get there if she doesn't know where you are. So 480 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 1: we've got to locate where you are first, and sometimes 481 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,719 Speaker 1: that's the hardest part. Once people are able to face that, 482 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,720 Speaker 1: then they're like, Okay, I think I'm open now to 483 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,639 Speaker 1: hearing what Eric has to say about how we're going 484 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,199 Speaker 1: to get this done. Yeah, sometimes you gotta take like 485 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 1: all of the gloss all of the sheen off, and 486 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,160 Speaker 1: you've gotta like look at all those naked numbers and 487 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 1: all of them not hiding anything, right, so that you 488 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,639 Speaker 1: can get a full scope of what actually needs to happen. 489 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,879 Speaker 1: And uh, okay, you're coaching business. It's called tailor made budgets. 490 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,320 Speaker 1: And so it makes me think, like, what does it 491 00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 1: take to create a budget that actually helps people? Because 492 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,959 Speaker 1: some people are scared of the word budget. They think 493 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,879 Speaker 1: of it as like a four letter word. So, um, 494 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,520 Speaker 1: how do you help people create a budget that they 495 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 1: actually use, not one that just kind of like looks 496 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,760 Speaker 1: good in an Excel file that gets quickly abandoned. Yeah. 497 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,359 Speaker 1: One of the biggest things is to know the family, 498 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:47,680 Speaker 1: Know the household. Um, understand are their medical things going 499 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,840 Speaker 1: on in the house are understand you know how old 500 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 1: the children are, if there are kids in the house, 501 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:56,360 Speaker 1: Understand what the goals are. Where do you see yourself 502 00:24:56,359 --> 00:25:00,719 Speaker 1: in six months? Why is this important making it customized 503 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,680 Speaker 1: to that household. No budget should be exactly like the neighbor, 504 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,000 Speaker 1: and so it's it's important to understand who it is 505 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 1: that I'm working with and make it realistic for them. So, 506 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 1: for instance, people have an affinity for you know, whole 507 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,680 Speaker 1: or clean eating or what have you. I understand that 508 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,840 Speaker 1: that could potentially cost a little bit more. I also 509 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,240 Speaker 1: have to understand that the age of the kids makes 510 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 1: a difference, um, the activities that kids are in and 511 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,560 Speaker 1: and things like that. So just knowing what the household 512 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 1: is up to if there are glaring red flags, Um, 513 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 1: that's one of the things that over the years I 514 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,320 Speaker 1: have gotten a whole lot better at making sure that 515 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: I let people know here's the big, hairy elephant in 516 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: the room that we've got to deal with. Because if 517 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 1: there were only one thing to change, I want people 518 00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 1: to understand what that thing is that's really going to 519 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,320 Speaker 1: make a difference in their finances. So the budget can 520 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 1: be very detailed and it can be very realistic and 521 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,640 Speaker 1: tailored for that household. But I'm always looking for that 522 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:02,359 Speaker 1: one thing that if they only did that, it would 523 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,879 Speaker 1: transform everything. And so I'm looking for that needle in 524 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,920 Speaker 1: the haystack. And sometimes it's bigger than you think. But um, 525 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:12,200 Speaker 1: that's sometimes the thing that will help people really get 526 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 1: unstuck if you will right well, I mean, can you 527 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 1: share some examples, like, like, what are some of those 528 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,440 Speaker 1: red flags what are some of those big, big, old 529 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,880 Speaker 1: budget busting line items that are just wrecking people's finances. Well, 530 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,440 Speaker 1: I'll start with some of the little ones that everybody 531 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,200 Speaker 1: has right now. So one of those would be subscriptions. 532 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 1: So I'll have people add up all of their subscriptions. 533 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,120 Speaker 1: I had one family do this a couple of years ago. 534 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 1: It was about a hundred and fifty dollars and subscriptions, 535 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: and I thought, wow, and this is not like cable. 536 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,960 Speaker 1: It's all of the little Netflix and Hulu and gains 537 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 1: for the kids and all that added up to a hundred. 538 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 1: They had no idea, And so we just go through 539 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,879 Speaker 1: the process of what's needed and what isn't, what do 540 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 1: you use, which don't you use? And they cut it 541 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 1: down to like fifty bucks. Amazon is huge. Amazon all 542 00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,199 Speaker 1: on its own right now is big. And that is 543 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,639 Speaker 1: not always fifty bucks or a hundred bucks. There is 544 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,199 Speaker 1: that something in people will justify as saying, well, we 545 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,320 Speaker 1: get diapers and we get groceries or And I still 546 00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 1: think it's important to add up what's happening at Amazon, 547 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,200 Speaker 1: because what it really is is just convenient. If you 548 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:20,400 Speaker 1: can potentially spend less money elsewhere, and all that if 549 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,040 Speaker 1: you pay attention to that. But a lot of the 550 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:27,800 Speaker 1: times the big learing flags are a vehicle that's completely 551 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,639 Speaker 1: out of whack and doesn't make sense. Um, I typically 552 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 1: will you know. The very last thing I would even 553 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 1: offer is that the house is too expensive expensive. I 554 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:42,240 Speaker 1: I don't typically go there with that unless it's absolutely necessary. 555 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:46,680 Speaker 1: But feel like you're undermining their security. What are you 556 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,679 Speaker 1: talking about? Yeah, I don't go there unless it's absolutely necessary. 557 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,440 Speaker 1: But I have had people who are paying for college 558 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,639 Speaker 1: for their kids taking it out of their retirement funds. 559 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,399 Speaker 1: That's a big hairy red flack to me, you know, 560 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,240 Speaker 1: especially and the kid isn't doing will right, and so 561 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,680 Speaker 1: that's you know, tens of thousands of dollars potentially going 562 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,119 Speaker 1: down the drain, and the kid can get alone. I 563 00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 1: don't want them to. But if it's your retirement versus 564 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: their college, I'm picking your retirement first. Yeah, yeah, I 565 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,199 Speaker 1: completely agree with you. It makes me, It makes me 566 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,360 Speaker 1: think everything in life is a trade off, right, and 567 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,040 Speaker 1: especially the case with our money. So that's kind of 568 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,520 Speaker 1: what you're you're walking people through to to a certain extent, 569 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,879 Speaker 1: is here's the thing, this is what's kind of busting 570 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 1: the budget over here, and obviously, uh, we're gonna have 571 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,200 Speaker 1: to make some sort of trade off. Maybe we got 572 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:34,800 Speaker 1: to sell this car and we got to get into 573 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 1: something more affordable. But how do you talk to people? 574 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 1: How do you coach people into thinking through trade offs 575 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 1: with how they spend their money and kind of the 576 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,960 Speaker 1: things that they can be doing with that money instead. Yeah, well, really, 577 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 1: I ask a bunch of questions. It's really okay. So 578 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: tell me more about this loan. How long is it? 579 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 1: How long have you had it? Tell me about you know, 580 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: tell me about the vehicle, right, Like, honestly, for families 581 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 1: who have little kids, they need a certain kind of vehicle. 582 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,959 Speaker 1: They're not going to be able to be in an escort, 583 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,080 Speaker 1: for instance. Right, So, um, so I want to understand. 584 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 1: I asked a bunch of questions, and then I'll say 585 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,360 Speaker 1: things like how was that serving you? Um? Is this helpful? 586 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,680 Speaker 1: Is this necessary? What could you do differently? I want 587 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,479 Speaker 1: them to open up and share their thoughts. And really, 588 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,080 Speaker 1: when I look at the overall assessment of their situation, 589 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 1: I see their budget, I see their assets, I see 590 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,600 Speaker 1: their debt, and then if that is the smoking gun, 591 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 1: it's really okay. So if you did this. If you 592 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: made this one change, here is what's possible. You could 593 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,280 Speaker 1: get out of debt and this amount of time versus 594 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 1: this amount of time, or those dollars could go towards 595 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 1: your retirement future, or you could say that for your 596 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:51,400 Speaker 1: kids education. So it's really helping them to see that 597 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,920 Speaker 1: something else is possible or one of their goals could 598 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 1: be achieved even faster if they made this you know, 599 00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:02,080 Speaker 1: big change if you will um And sometimes honestly people say, 600 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,160 Speaker 1: I'm not willing to make the change now, but if 601 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,160 Speaker 1: we do A, B, and C, could we get the 602 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 1: same effect. And it makes them start thinking about things 603 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 1: that they wouldn't have thought of before. So that's awesome too. 604 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,800 Speaker 1: So you know, the truth is I want them to 605 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 1: own their decision and so I really you know, ask 606 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 1: all the questions that are necessary for them to have 607 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:21,960 Speaker 1: their own light bulb moment. That's that's so great because 608 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: when you have the light bulb yourself, as opposed to 609 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,000 Speaker 1: someone telling you what to do, it's so much more 610 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,560 Speaker 1: impactful and you're more likely to make a different decision 611 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:32,080 Speaker 1: moving forward. And when you've also connected that trade off 612 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 1: to this greater goal that you have, you become so 613 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,680 Speaker 1: much more excited to make that Like, wait a second, 614 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 1: this car is holding me back. I didn't even like 615 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 1: the car. I didn't realize that that was the problem. 616 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 1: It wasn't that big of a deal to me. But 617 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,720 Speaker 1: this other goal, like we wanted that, we want that 618 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 1: villa every every summer, like we want that sweet summer trip. 619 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 1: And so I don't know. It's amazing how when you 620 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,280 Speaker 1: connect the trade off to that greater goal, it just 621 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 1: can completely changes the equation. Absolutely, yep, absolutely, And they 622 00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,160 Speaker 1: get to own their decision. I really want people to 623 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:05,120 Speaker 1: feel like it was their choice versus Erica's prodding and pushing. 624 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 1: That's an inception because planning the writing this colonel of this, 625 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,680 Speaker 1: and then they have to discover an idea and then 626 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,320 Speaker 1: they stumble upon it. It's like, wait a minute, that 627 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,200 Speaker 1: was my idea, right, that's right. Well, I mean speaking 628 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: of kind of like mind tricks, you know better than 629 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 1: anyone here, like doing this one on one work. It's 630 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,680 Speaker 1: never just a numbers problem here oftentimes, talk about like 631 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 1: the dual role that you play in helping people with 632 00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:31,920 Speaker 1: some of their deeper rooted psychological issues with money alongside 633 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 1: the need to provide some of the education from that 634 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,320 Speaker 1: accountability where they might just be, you know, missing some 635 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:41,120 Speaker 1: of that basic personal finance knowledge. I think sometimes you 636 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 1: might be diving in even deeper than you realize when 637 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,640 Speaker 1: when you're trying as you're kind of unearthing some of 638 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:49,280 Speaker 1: these some of these deeper issues. Right. Yeah, absolutely, I 639 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,120 Speaker 1: will say I'm not a marriage counselor, I will say 640 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,320 Speaker 1: I'm not um a therapist, if you will, But but 641 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 1: I get into some of the stuff um that couples 642 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 1: to understand or that a single person hasn't allowed themselves 643 00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 1: to to think about. So your money passed, right, So 644 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 1: all of the things that you learned as a child 645 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,920 Speaker 1: coming up in your home of origin, and how that 646 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 1: is affecting you today. So for instance, I'll just talk 647 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: about myself. I want to talk about a client. But 648 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,840 Speaker 1: like my husband and I, like I said, we grew 649 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 1: up in single parent households. We both saw financial dysfunction 650 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,040 Speaker 1: and you know, I saw a beast and famine lifestyle 651 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 1: all the time just to make ends me, as did he, 652 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 1: and so I interpreted that in a different way than 653 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,000 Speaker 1: he did. He really likes to have, you know, he 654 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,880 Speaker 1: wants to stat cash, that cash and I'm more of 655 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:45,880 Speaker 1: the longer term. I want to make sure I'm okay 656 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,760 Speaker 1: in the future because I was always worried that I'd 657 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,360 Speaker 1: have to take care of my parents, and so the 658 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:55,160 Speaker 1: way we interpreted our past experience affected how we did life. 659 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 1: And the funny thing is, I'm a financial coach, and 660 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,240 Speaker 1: he and I would differ on how much we needed 661 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,320 Speaker 1: for savings because we had different ways that we interpreted 662 00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:07,320 Speaker 1: our past. But I'm a money coach, so I need 663 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:12,280 Speaker 1: to make the decisions. You know what. Sometimes that happens now. 664 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 1: But I will say, like, those past experiences affect how 665 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 1: we do life today, and a lot of people don't 666 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:23,880 Speaker 1: put enough emphasis or give themselves the freedom to sit 667 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 1: back and think through how that that is showing up 668 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 1: in life today. I had a client who had their 669 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,640 Speaker 1: own realization about how dependent they were on their parents 670 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,400 Speaker 1: approval and how they spent their money, and you know, 671 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 1: the wife just really started crying and just said, Wow, 672 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:40,880 Speaker 1: I hadn't seen it that way. I had no idea 673 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,160 Speaker 1: that I was looking for them to be okay with 674 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,680 Speaker 1: my money decisions. And the husband said, I'm so glad 675 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 1: that we had this conversation because this was worth all 676 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 1: of the coaching because I didn't know how to reach 677 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,800 Speaker 1: this point. I had no idea how to get here. 678 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,800 Speaker 1: And now that he knows, now that they both are 679 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:03,320 Speaker 1: aware of what she's allowed. You know, she allowed her 680 00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,080 Speaker 1: parents sort of to interfere and how they manage their 681 00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:09,520 Speaker 1: own money. They can, they can work through that, but 682 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,640 Speaker 1: they weren't. They didn't know that that was that that 683 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 1: was happening. And so those are things that we get 684 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:18,560 Speaker 1: into that's beyond the numbers, that's you know, hidden sometimes 685 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 1: behind Oh, we just need a budget. There's probably more 686 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,319 Speaker 1: reasons why the budget hasn't worked in the past, and 687 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,480 Speaker 1: we've got to get to some of those root issues 688 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,040 Speaker 1: in order for you to really be able to stick 689 00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,239 Speaker 1: with the budget too. I love that. I love it. 690 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,839 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing all that. I mean, 691 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,960 Speaker 1: there's a lot of good, beautiful wisdom in there, and actually, 692 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,719 Speaker 1: you know, you have so much good thoughts I think 693 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 1: around when it comes to money in relationships and how 694 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,440 Speaker 1: couples can talk about money well together. Erica, we want 695 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,640 Speaker 1: to ask you a few questions on that topic, and 696 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 1: we'll get to those right after this. Alright, we're back 697 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,280 Speaker 1: from the break. We're still talking about money coaching. Angel. 698 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 1: You kind of tease to money and relationships. Rika kind 699 00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:08,040 Speaker 1: of got into how she's you know, she plays. She 700 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 1: gets to pretend to be of a couple's counselor every 701 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,080 Speaker 1: now and then before we kind of talk more about 702 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,120 Speaker 1: relationship stuff. One of the things you mentioned was that 703 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,320 Speaker 1: one of the roles that a financial coach can play 704 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,879 Speaker 1: is accountability. Right, like they are, they're keeping you accountable. 705 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 1: Is it possible to get that same benefit by having 706 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,160 Speaker 1: a friend provide that accountability? What I want to ask 707 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,560 Speaker 1: here that the core of my question is I want 708 00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,759 Speaker 1: to know the difference between having a friend that's holding 709 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,120 Speaker 1: you accountable and someone like you who is able to 710 00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:37,920 Speaker 1: provide more of that in full service one on one coaching. 711 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,840 Speaker 1: Can you talk about that for a second. Absolutely, I 712 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,920 Speaker 1: think everybody needs a friend that can hold them accountable. However, 713 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:49,279 Speaker 1: most of the time our friends one is happy. Um 714 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:54,600 Speaker 1: our friends are very agreeable, and for women sometimes that 715 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:58,080 Speaker 1: is a shopping buddy or someone who is going to say, 716 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:01,720 Speaker 1: oh I understand, just do it, you deserve it, And 717 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:06,399 Speaker 1: men don't say those things, but it is inherent in Hey, 718 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 1: let's go hang out with the guys and we're gonna 719 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:09,799 Speaker 1: do what we do, you know what I mean, Like, 720 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,840 Speaker 1: we all have our ways in which we live and 721 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,400 Speaker 1: and it's great to have a buddy who's on the 722 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,840 Speaker 1: journey with you, but they're not going to give you 723 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,200 Speaker 1: the tough love they also will not give you. You're 724 00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,279 Speaker 1: you're not gonna be super open and honest with your friend. 725 00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:25,719 Speaker 1: Let's just be clear. You're not gonna say how much 726 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,640 Speaker 1: you spent on dining out. You are not going to 727 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,120 Speaker 1: say how much that dress cost. You're not gonna say 728 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:33,640 Speaker 1: how much golfing was with the fellas. You're not You're 729 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:38,799 Speaker 1: going to simply gloss over it, because we inherently do 730 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:42,319 Speaker 1: not want the worst of us to be seen by everybody. 731 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,640 Speaker 1: With me, you don't have a choice on that first meeting. 732 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,880 Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, if my clients are paying me to 733 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 1: be honest with them, because there's not a whole lot 734 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,759 Speaker 1: of other places where they're gonna be honest. They're not 735 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,760 Speaker 1: going to tell family members, they're not going to tell friends. 736 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:59,000 Speaker 1: People are embarrassed to shame. There's a lot of emotion 737 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,239 Speaker 1: around money. They're not they don't want their friends to 738 00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,719 Speaker 1: know how much they make. Let's just be clear that 739 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:08,640 Speaker 1: there's a lot that we aren't sharing. So accountability can 740 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:12,000 Speaker 1: only go so far with the people in our circles. 741 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,919 Speaker 1: One of the things that I really enjoy about being 742 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,399 Speaker 1: a coach is that I'm pretty anonymous, if you will, 743 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:24,120 Speaker 1: And so I'm not going to do I did that 744 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,520 Speaker 1: in the first couple of years. But the cool thing 745 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 1: is that, um, I could literally have a neighbor as 746 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,319 Speaker 1: a client and we might not even know we're neighbors, right, 747 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:39,800 Speaker 1: and so um nobody else knows especially, and so yeah, 748 00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,399 Speaker 1: so the cool thing is, like that's the other thing 749 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,600 Speaker 1: is I'm asking the hard questions right in the beginning, 750 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 1: and once we get the hard stuff done, we can 751 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,080 Speaker 1: work through everything else. And I just, you know, really 752 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:53,680 Speaker 1: have a system of these are the things that we 753 00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,840 Speaker 1: talk about and this is what you ought to expect. 754 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,960 Speaker 1: And so in that process is exactly how people really 755 00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,800 Speaker 1: get to understand what this looks like and they get 756 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:07,720 Speaker 1: used to being vulnerable and open. And because I'm a prodder, 757 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:11,160 Speaker 1: I ask a bunch of questions. Um, they they've got 758 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,440 Speaker 1: to get them answer. And I actually so there have 759 00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:14,840 Speaker 1: been times when I'm like, I think you need to 760 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:16,839 Speaker 1: see a counselor for that. I think I think that 761 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:20,000 Speaker 1: that's what makes sense here, and pushing them towards getting 762 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,760 Speaker 1: some actual help from a license therapist. Yes, absolutely, especially 763 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,600 Speaker 1: from you know, in marriage, especially if there's any type 764 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,319 Speaker 1: of emotional challenges that people are having. I've done. I 765 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,680 Speaker 1: did that just recently, because I think that people think 766 00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:36,400 Speaker 1: that if they get the money right, that all of 767 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,560 Speaker 1: these other problems will be okay, like we'll be able 768 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,840 Speaker 1: to communicate. Well, no, actually, I really need you to 769 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:44,080 Speaker 1: have a solid foundation and communication first, because if we 770 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,520 Speaker 1: start talking about the money, it's just going to uproot 771 00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,040 Speaker 1: quite a bit of things. And if you can't work 772 00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,400 Speaker 1: through those things behind the scenes, that can be challenging. 773 00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,160 Speaker 1: So I know those are things that just a frame 774 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:57,600 Speaker 1: probably wouldn't say. Yeah, bad money fights, disagreements, how you 775 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,799 Speaker 1: communicate about money like those are all just sen of 776 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:05,719 Speaker 1: underlying either health or unhealth. Yeah, that's right. And you 777 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,040 Speaker 1: mentioned obviously you're not a marriage therapist, which you know, 778 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,319 Speaker 1: but you have also a lot of wisdom based on 779 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,520 Speaker 1: based on twenty years plus of marriage right and through 780 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 1: helping hundreds of clients. So I am curious to talk 781 00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:21,960 Speaker 1: to you a little bit about money and relationships. You 782 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:25,279 Speaker 1: talk to us maybe about having productive money conversations, Like 783 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:27,640 Speaker 1: what if a couple keeps having the same fight over 784 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,200 Speaker 1: and over, like the same money issue is kind of 785 00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:32,920 Speaker 1: at the root of those arguments. How can they progress 786 00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:36,640 Speaker 1: and get past those just the recurring it feels like 787 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,680 Speaker 1: it's a record on repeat, same thing over and over. 788 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,319 Speaker 1: How can they maybe move forward past just the same 789 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:46,319 Speaker 1: unproductive money fights. Yeah, well, first of all, any money conversation, 790 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,640 Speaker 1: I encourage people to keep it very short. So we 791 00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:53,799 Speaker 1: are not going to have uh, you know, three hour 792 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:57,279 Speaker 1: money summit on our frinances on day one. We're not 793 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:03,000 Speaker 1: exhausting exactly. Um. And so I think where people tend 794 00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:04,520 Speaker 1: to go wrong as they say, oh, we're going to 795 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,960 Speaker 1: get this all together and fix it and blah blah blah, 796 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:08,879 Speaker 1: and then they wear each other out on day one 797 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,640 Speaker 1: and they don't even come back to it for a 798 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,200 Speaker 1: couple of months because it was so tiring. So do 799 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 1: yourself a favor and schedule fifteen or twenty minutes and 800 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:20,279 Speaker 1: talk about one thing the other thing is, and and 801 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 1: you know ground rules for whatever that one thing is, 802 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:24,759 Speaker 1: and how do you know how you want to see 803 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,080 Speaker 1: it resolved in that kind of thing and have a takeaway. 804 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,640 Speaker 1: But if you are continuing to have the same fight 805 00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:34,160 Speaker 1: over and over. What I'm hearing is that one or 806 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:38,759 Speaker 1: both of you are not being heard. So somebody is 807 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,560 Speaker 1: continually bringing up the same subject because they feel unheard, 808 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,759 Speaker 1: or you keep going back to that mountain that you 809 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:52,360 Speaker 1: can't climb because somebody is not heard. And so um. 810 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,440 Speaker 1: One of the tricks of communication, and this is that 811 00:40:55,640 --> 00:41:00,160 Speaker 1: you know, counselor therapist side is repeat what you believe 812 00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:04,880 Speaker 1: you heard, Like so what I hear you saying is 813 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:10,680 Speaker 1: blah blah blah, or did you mean blah blah blah? 814 00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:15,279 Speaker 1: Is this correct? Blah blah blah? And then you know, 815 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:20,040 Speaker 1: the whole point is why are they saying that? Tell 816 00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,359 Speaker 1: me more about why that showing up? And and so 817 00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,000 Speaker 1: a lot of times with money matters, we take it 818 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,840 Speaker 1: so very personally. We've worked really hard for whatever income 819 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:34,880 Speaker 1: we're bringing in, or we feel responsible for spending the 820 00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:38,400 Speaker 1: money or taking care of the household or whatever it is. 821 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,920 Speaker 1: And so it's very sensitive for a lot of people 822 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,680 Speaker 1: because it hits at the heart of time that you've 823 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,840 Speaker 1: put into whatever it is. And so we've got to 824 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:53,200 Speaker 1: really listen. And I think we're not really good at that. UM. 825 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:56,840 Speaker 1: With social media, the idea that we can fass forward 826 00:41:56,960 --> 00:42:00,040 Speaker 1: or rewind all of our you know, TV shows and 827 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:03,280 Speaker 1: all of that. We don't have to listen to stuff 828 00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,640 Speaker 1: or the sound bites are so short that it doesn't 829 00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:10,200 Speaker 1: leave room for real human connection, and so I think 830 00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:13,560 Speaker 1: that we have to relearn how to do that. But 831 00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:17,760 Speaker 1: I also think we need to not force either party 832 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,799 Speaker 1: because usually there's a money nerd and and there's a 833 00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,719 Speaker 1: free spender in this equation, and we don't want the 834 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:28,400 Speaker 1: nerd to overwhelm the free spirit by this, you know, 835 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:32,880 Speaker 1: three hour long summit, fifteen or twenty minutes on one topic. 836 00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,480 Speaker 1: Let's understand how we're going to get this one thing 837 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:38,480 Speaker 1: done and then move forward. And I think if people 838 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,319 Speaker 1: will take those couple of tips, they'll really it'll really 839 00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:44,319 Speaker 1: be very helpful. That's so great. Yeah, I mean, you're 840 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:48,719 Speaker 1: you're talking about being financially naked and vulnerable with your partner, Like, 841 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:51,520 Speaker 1: how else do you you know you're talking about focusing 842 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,960 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes one topic, you're talking about listening, are there's 843 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,400 Speaker 1: some other ways that you encourage couples to get on 844 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,040 Speaker 1: the same page work together to make this money progress. 845 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,839 Speaker 1: Those are some great tips. I love if you had 846 00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:04,360 Speaker 1: any more? Yeah. Yeah, So my book is called you 847 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:08,000 Speaker 1: Know and Make It Unashamed for a reason. I think 848 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:12,160 Speaker 1: it's really important for people to reveal some of the 849 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:16,959 Speaker 1: things that have made them feel a certain way. Right, So, 850 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,279 Speaker 1: what what have you been ashamed about? What? What do 851 00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:23,000 Speaker 1: you wish you hadn't done? Let's dream together. I think 852 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,719 Speaker 1: one of the biggest ways that we can get on 853 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:29,680 Speaker 1: the same page as a couple is to dream. What 854 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,359 Speaker 1: do you see five or ten years on the line. 855 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:33,800 Speaker 1: Let's not talk about the budget today. Let's talk about 856 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,279 Speaker 1: what do you see in the future. What would you 857 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,319 Speaker 1: love to see happen? Is there a business in your heart? 858 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,640 Speaker 1: What do you how do you you know? What? What 859 00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:43,640 Speaker 1: does retirement look like? Would you love to see the 860 00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:46,319 Speaker 1: kids go to college and be able to participate in that? Like? 861 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,480 Speaker 1: What is it that makes your heart light up? And 862 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,319 Speaker 1: get on the same page there. Let's be a cheerleader 863 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:56,400 Speaker 1: for our partners future. Or let's say, oh my gosh, 864 00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,359 Speaker 1: I had no idea we were on the same page there. 865 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,640 Speaker 1: We never talked about it. We don't give ourselves an 866 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:04,279 Speaker 1: opportunity to think about down the line because we're so 867 00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:08,279 Speaker 1: worried about the things today, and so I think that 868 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,040 Speaker 1: that's a really great way to get on the same page, um, 869 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:15,000 Speaker 1: and to fully understand what each other wants. Yeah. What 870 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:16,719 Speaker 1: just a great thing to do as a couple on 871 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,640 Speaker 1: so many levels, but on a money level too, right, 872 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:22,480 Speaker 1: Like just dreaming together. I think sometimes maybe, especially if 873 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:25,360 Speaker 1: you've been married for the longer you've been together, sometimes 874 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,920 Speaker 1: it's harder to retain some of the forward looking momentum 875 00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,399 Speaker 1: and some of the excitement about the future because you're 876 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:33,160 Speaker 1: you're in the day to day, especially if you've got 877 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:35,280 Speaker 1: young kids like Matt and I do. It's like life 878 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,319 Speaker 1: just overwhelms you, and so you have to kind of 879 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,759 Speaker 1: come back to the table and start dreaming together, um, 880 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:42,680 Speaker 1: and reminding reminding each other about what you love about 881 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,840 Speaker 1: one another, why you're excited to build a life together. 882 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:46,839 Speaker 1: I mean, I think one of the other things too 883 00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:49,480 Speaker 1: that I'm learning I'm talking with some friends. Not everybody 884 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,279 Speaker 1: are great dreamers, um. I think like Kate and I 885 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,239 Speaker 1: we are very forward looking. And we've talked to some 886 00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:58,359 Speaker 1: other friends and they kind of absorb information around them 887 00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,560 Speaker 1: in retrospect, and so they're able to live in the 888 00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,480 Speaker 1: moment and see what they need to do now, or 889 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:04,280 Speaker 1: they're able to kind of look back on their past 890 00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,880 Speaker 1: and so hard time looking forward. Yeah, yeah, And so 891 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:08,759 Speaker 1: I think it can be difficult sometimes to kind of 892 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,520 Speaker 1: cast that vision look ahead, ask that question, what do 893 00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,359 Speaker 1: you want to do in five ten years? And so 894 00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,239 Speaker 1: I guess what I want to highlight here is the 895 00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:17,800 Speaker 1: fact that it might take some work to do this dreaming. 896 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:19,239 Speaker 1: And I think there might be a lot of folks 897 00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:21,920 Speaker 1: out there who are saying, I don't know what you 898 00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,319 Speaker 1: talking about? What do I want to dream about? Uh? 899 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,080 Speaker 1: And so for those folks it might take a little 900 00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,200 Speaker 1: longer than just asking that question, but to actually spend 901 00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:30,319 Speaker 1: some time thinking about what they want their life to 902 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:34,440 Speaker 1: look like. Well, and I think there's spun and experimentation, 903 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:37,080 Speaker 1: so it may not be five years down the line. 904 00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,560 Speaker 1: I'm getting ready to be an empty nests in about 905 00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,320 Speaker 1: three months, both of them to be out of the house, 906 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:48,160 Speaker 1: and my dreaming session is really about who does Erica 907 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:51,839 Speaker 1: want to be now, and what are the hobbies that 908 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,000 Speaker 1: will be uniquely my own? And what am I going 909 00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:56,439 Speaker 1: to get out of the house to go do since 910 00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:59,799 Speaker 1: I don't have high school events or a kid coming 911 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,120 Speaker 1: um and things like that, and what are me and 912 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:05,160 Speaker 1: my husband going to do together? So my dreaming really 913 00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:08,880 Speaker 1: isn't about retirement. At this point, we feel pretty confident 914 00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,520 Speaker 1: that we're going to be fine. But now like it's 915 00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:13,760 Speaker 1: it's about how are we going to enjoy one another 916 00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,319 Speaker 1: and how are we going to enjoy ourselves our life 917 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:18,279 Speaker 1: that we get to create. Now that they're doing their 918 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:20,879 Speaker 1: thing like that, you've got to kind of reassess those 919 00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:23,520 Speaker 1: as different life stages take home and you're entering a 920 00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,000 Speaker 1: completely new one. That's right, Absolutely well, congratulations to you 921 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,239 Speaker 1: on that. And since you are last question before you 922 00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:33,759 Speaker 1: hear Erica, you have successfully raised kids to the point 923 00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:37,440 Speaker 1: where they can leave and you know not have to 924 00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:39,480 Speaker 1: hopefully move back into your basement. I guess I want 925 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:43,280 Speaker 1: to I want to know how you involve your kids 926 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,320 Speaker 1: in money conversations throughout the years, Like, how did that 927 00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,160 Speaker 1: work for you? How do you how do you advise 928 00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:51,799 Speaker 1: other people to include their children when they're talking about money, 929 00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,600 Speaker 1: because I grew up in a household where I heard 930 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:58,120 Speaker 1: money arguments are heard very little in sort of positive 931 00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:01,240 Speaker 1: money reinforcement. But then there are people who are maybe 932 00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:04,919 Speaker 1: to forthright with their kids about the finances. So, yeah, 933 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,840 Speaker 1: do you have kind of, um a strategy or a 934 00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:08,719 Speaker 1: way that you help people think about what it looks 935 00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:12,120 Speaker 1: like to include their kids and money, money decisions and combos. Yeah, 936 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:15,040 Speaker 1: so I think it's really good to make money normal, 937 00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:18,239 Speaker 1: like normalize the whole conversation all throughout their lives, so 938 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,080 Speaker 1: age appropriate. Obviously, you don't need to tell your two 939 00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:23,600 Speaker 1: year old, oh my gosh, we have this much for retirement, right, 940 00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:27,399 Speaker 1: Like we're not talking that, but making normal. Um. So, 941 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:29,440 Speaker 1: for instance, if you're going to get ice cream, it's 942 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,799 Speaker 1: totally fine to to let the two year old hand 943 00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:35,040 Speaker 1: the five dollar bill over that kind of stuff. It's normal, 944 00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:38,279 Speaker 1: it's not. And I think it's nowadays we have to 945 00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:42,120 Speaker 1: be very intentional because we don't use cash all the time, 946 00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:45,319 Speaker 1: and so sometimes those are the things that are age appropriate. 947 00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:49,000 Speaker 1: That would be great to be intentional. Um as they 948 00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:51,719 Speaker 1: get older, give them more responsibility to you know, work 949 00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:55,760 Speaker 1: in reward, you know, chores, and and having them to 950 00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,640 Speaker 1: to learn their own how to manage their own money 951 00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:01,479 Speaker 1: and things like that, and then when they get a job. 952 00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:04,080 Speaker 1: I think it's super important for teenagers to get a job. 953 00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:08,480 Speaker 1: I think that balancing act in high school is very 954 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:12,520 Speaker 1: valuable and my husband and I. We basically said, we'll 955 00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,640 Speaker 1: pay half on your car, you pay the other half. 956 00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:18,160 Speaker 1: You earn the money to pay the other half. And um, 957 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,560 Speaker 1: they both did it. And they both have vehicles that 958 00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:22,920 Speaker 1: they you know, my oldest she kept her vehicle for 959 00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:26,239 Speaker 1: four years through um, you or six years actually the 960 00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,760 Speaker 1: rest of high school and college. And my my youngest 961 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,040 Speaker 1: is doing the same right now. Um and so. But 962 00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:34,920 Speaker 1: the biggest conversation that I think parents need to have 963 00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:39,320 Speaker 1: if you have made money a normal thing to discuss 964 00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:43,680 Speaker 1: along the way, is when they are a sophomore or 965 00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:45,600 Speaker 1: a junior in high school and you began to talk 966 00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:49,120 Speaker 1: about what's next, if college is next, you really need 967 00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:51,600 Speaker 1: to let them know what you are willing to do, 968 00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:54,359 Speaker 1: what you are capable of doing in terms of helping them, 969 00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,200 Speaker 1: or what it is and or I should say what 970 00:48:57,239 --> 00:48:59,160 Speaker 1: it is they need to do in order to make 971 00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:03,200 Speaker 1: their call it you know, goal of reality. It's really 972 00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:06,920 Speaker 1: hard to have a conversation about hundreds of thousands of 973 00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:10,680 Speaker 1: dollars if you haven't laid that foundation early and then 974 00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:15,319 Speaker 1: also set the expectation of we we will spend this 975 00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:18,160 Speaker 1: much on it, or we can't help at all, or 976 00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:21,759 Speaker 1: whatever it is. Be honest, because I think that is 977 00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,959 Speaker 1: the biggest impact for the rest of their lives, whether 978 00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:26,759 Speaker 1: or not they're going to have student loan debt or not, 979 00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,600 Speaker 1: or what it is that they need to do in 980 00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:31,600 Speaker 1: order for them to be able to go to school 981 00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,040 Speaker 1: for free or do something different. And so I think 982 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:37,320 Speaker 1: that's the biggest financial impact. But again, if you've made 983 00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:42,759 Speaker 1: that foundation along the way, talking about money isn't scary. Um, 984 00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,239 Speaker 1: tell them about my kids knew we were getting out 985 00:49:45,239 --> 00:49:47,839 Speaker 1: of debt. They knew when they were young. Um, they 986 00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:51,640 Speaker 1: knew what the difference between debt and debit was. And 987 00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:55,160 Speaker 1: so those kinds of things are very helpful and build 988 00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:58,640 Speaker 1: that foundation for I want to get out of college 989 00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:02,840 Speaker 1: without debt because as my parents didn't do it, and 990 00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:06,920 Speaker 1: my oldest is graduating on Saturday and she's got no 991 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:10,120 Speaker 1: debt to speak of, and so I think it's really 992 00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:14,040 Speaker 1: important that we, you know, build that foundation so that 993 00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,840 Speaker 1: you know, their biggest opportunity to make a difference in 994 00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:22,239 Speaker 1: their future does not come with strings. Attach that's right. Yeah, 995 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,200 Speaker 1: it is hard to have those those big ticket items 996 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,400 Speaker 1: when you haven't even talked about the day to day. 997 00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,960 Speaker 1: I love that that's that's so good. Um, have those conversations. 998 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,560 Speaker 1: Make money conversations normal, and make money normal. That's what 999 00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,359 Speaker 1: you're trying to do here, Erica. That's what we're doing 1000 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:38,319 Speaker 1: here with how the money. We really appreciate you coming 1001 00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:41,360 Speaker 1: on the show and sharing all these nuggets of wisdom 1002 00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:44,560 Speaker 1: and just your experience with our listeners. Uh. If folks 1003 00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:46,520 Speaker 1: wanted to learn more about you, what you're up to 1004 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:50,000 Speaker 1: your coaching business as well, where should they head? Yeah? So, 1005 00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,279 Speaker 1: Taylor Made budget dot Com is the place to find me. 1006 00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:54,680 Speaker 1: I'm on Instagram as well on Tailor Made Budgets, and 1007 00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:58,080 Speaker 1: I love to interact with people individually on LinkedIn as well. 1008 00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:00,719 Speaker 1: You can find me there at Erica young Erica, You're 1009 00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:02,319 Speaker 1: the best. Thank you so much for joining us. We 1010 00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,120 Speaker 1: really appreciate it. Thank you for having me all right, Matt, 1011 00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,200 Speaker 1: that was a phenomenal conversation with eric on so much 1012 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:12,080 Speaker 1: good information, so much wisdom, and we covered just a 1013 00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:14,360 Speaker 1: range of topics. We've really talked about money coaching to 1014 00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:16,840 Speaker 1: that extent before, we haven't, but she made a compelling 1015 00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:20,719 Speaker 1: case for hiring someone who is in your corner, who 1016 00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:22,880 Speaker 1: isn't your best friend. So I don't know, I'm curious 1017 00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:24,359 Speaker 1: to hear from you, what was your big takeaway from 1018 00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,400 Speaker 1: this COMBA, It was related to that. So around the 1019 00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,239 Speaker 1: end is when she was talking about like what we 1020 00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:31,239 Speaker 1: were asking her about the trade offs that we make 1021 00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,719 Speaker 1: in life and how does she walk someone through the 1022 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:36,960 Speaker 1: different expenses that they're facing in life. And basically what 1023 00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,799 Speaker 1: she was saying and what she said she does is 1024 00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:43,000 Speaker 1: that she questions everything, right, and so it's like okay, 1025 00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,520 Speaker 1: And specifically the question she she brought up was what 1026 00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:47,640 Speaker 1: value is this bringing to your life? I think I said, 1027 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:52,080 Speaker 1: how is this serving you? Yeah? That is what? Yeah. 1028 00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:54,760 Speaker 1: But by questioning everything like that, I think it puts 1029 00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,680 Speaker 1: everything on the table, like everything has the potential to 1030 00:51:57,719 --> 00:52:00,759 Speaker 1: be asked. And I think oftentimes w there we are 1031 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,399 Speaker 1: trying to d I y our own budget, or maybe 1032 00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:06,080 Speaker 1: before we're working with a partner, but sometimes there are 1033 00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,840 Speaker 1: certain things that we're not willing to even address. But 1034 00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:11,400 Speaker 1: when she steps into the equation, she is asking everything, 1035 00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:13,879 Speaker 1: like you said, how is this serving you? And if 1036 00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,359 Speaker 1: you don't have a good answer, then it is worth 1037 00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,680 Speaker 1: considering removing that from your life. If you're looking to 1038 00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:20,600 Speaker 1: catch your expenses, if you're looking to climb at a 1039 00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:23,400 Speaker 1: debt that is the fastest way to do that. You 1040 00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,680 Speaker 1: don't have to dedicate more time to earning more money 1041 00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:27,920 Speaker 1: to pay off that debt. Let's let's just start slashing 1042 00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:30,680 Speaker 1: some of these expenses. The reason why we always lead 1043 00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:33,800 Speaker 1: lead into our interviews by asking what is your craft 1044 00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,399 Speaker 1: beer equivalent? Because there are things that we spend money on, 1045 00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,919 Speaker 1: but there should always be a good reason why it 1046 00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,279 Speaker 1: is that we spend money on those things. And so 1047 00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:43,399 Speaker 1: I love that that's something that she asks. But yeah, 1048 00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:44,879 Speaker 1: how about you, man, what is your big dick away? Okay? 1049 00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:46,480 Speaker 1: So I love when she said that you need to 1050 00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:50,439 Speaker 1: face where you are and there there's the reality check. Yeah, 1051 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:51,440 Speaker 1: and so I said to be like, I need to 1052 00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:53,920 Speaker 1: lose twenty pounds because I think I'm twenty pounds overweight. 1053 00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,160 Speaker 1: If you're really fifty pounds overweight, like you need to 1054 00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:57,919 Speaker 1: face the actual fact. You need to face the number 1055 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:01,120 Speaker 1: on the scale so that you can then make a 1056 00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:03,680 Speaker 1: decent decision about where you need to go move from here. 1057 00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:05,520 Speaker 1: How are you supposed to lose sym pounds if you 1058 00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:07,600 Speaker 1: don't even have a scale or if you're you're refused 1059 00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:09,839 Speaker 1: to get on it exactly. And so you know, one 1060 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:11,440 Speaker 1: of the things that she said, is signs that you 1061 00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:14,400 Speaker 1: might need a financial coach is if your debt level 1062 00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:16,880 Speaker 1: hasn't moved, if you're not making any progress, or if 1063 00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:19,359 Speaker 1: you're following victim to wishful thinking. And I thought those 1064 00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,880 Speaker 1: were all really good things to to help people know 1065 00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:24,759 Speaker 1: when they need outside help. It's like a right, are 1066 00:53:24,760 --> 00:53:28,520 Speaker 1: you just like believing overly optimistically? Maybe like I do 1067 00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:32,000 Speaker 1: sometimes on on things not not necessarily money related. I 1068 00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:35,560 Speaker 1: can be overly optimistic about my future, and I love 1069 00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:37,480 Speaker 1: the fact that I'm an optimist, but there are times 1070 00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,000 Speaker 1: when I do need to live in reality a little 1071 00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:42,120 Speaker 1: bit more. And so maybe if you're falling victim to that, 1072 00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:44,120 Speaker 1: if you constantly think, well, I'm going to do this, 1073 00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,000 Speaker 1: this is gonna happen. I'm getting there, but you're not 1074 00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,520 Speaker 1: actually getting anywhere. The numbers don't indicate that you're making 1075 00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:52,080 Speaker 1: any progress. That might be that might indicate that you 1076 00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:55,080 Speaker 1: need some sort of financial coach in your life in 1077 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:57,920 Speaker 1: order to help you make some progress and point out 1078 00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,319 Speaker 1: maybe some of those flaws in your thinking or in 1079 00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:02,239 Speaker 1: some of your behavior. So I don't know, I think 1080 00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:04,200 Speaker 1: that's a good call, and I do think a financial coach. 1081 00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,000 Speaker 1: Sometimes people think I need a financial planner, well, a 1082 00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:10,680 Speaker 1: financial coach is actually completely different and probably from most folks. 1083 00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,760 Speaker 1: What they need is a financial coach, not a financial planner. 1084 00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:16,160 Speaker 1: It's not about growing your investments to the sky. It's 1085 00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:19,359 Speaker 1: literally about changing some of those habits and behaviors and 1086 00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:21,319 Speaker 1: kind of focusing on some of those everyday things. And 1087 00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:24,520 Speaker 1: guess what, financial coaches are typically quite a bit less 1088 00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:27,440 Speaker 1: expensive too, So I do think financial coaches are one 1089 00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:30,960 Speaker 1: of those things that are underrepresented and and and probably 1090 00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:32,799 Speaker 1: could help a whole lot more folks. So yeah, first, 1091 00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:34,600 Speaker 1: for folks who find themselves, I think in a position 1092 00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:38,840 Speaker 1: like this, I think a financial coach is probably a 1093 00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:41,080 Speaker 1: really good place to turn. Totally. Yeah, a financial coach 1094 00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:42,680 Speaker 1: can help you to get where I want to be. 1095 00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:45,440 Speaker 1: And I swear we never do this, but we don't 1096 00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:48,360 Speaker 1: often try to coordinate our beers with the topic of 1097 00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:50,560 Speaker 1: the show. We just think about the style of beer 1098 00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:52,759 Speaker 1: we want to enjoy. But literally, the name of the 1099 00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,719 Speaker 1: beer we're drinking today is where I want to be. 1100 00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:58,640 Speaker 1: This is by Deciduous Brewing Company. This is a hazy 1101 00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:03,080 Speaker 1: New England style. I p a jel your thoughts man, robust, hop, 1102 00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:06,120 Speaker 1: goodness are the words I wrote down it was a 1103 00:55:06,200 --> 00:55:08,880 Speaker 1: great middle of the road hazy. I p A nothing 1104 00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:11,840 Speaker 1: over the top, but nothing underwhelming. It left me just feeling, 1105 00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:15,160 Speaker 1: you know, just happy, like Goldilock style, the perfect Tampa, 1106 00:55:15,239 --> 00:55:17,520 Speaker 1: the perfect beer right here. I loved it. That's right, man. 1107 00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:20,000 Speaker 1: It was just right, not too hazy, but not too 1108 00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,160 Speaker 1: perfectly clear West Coast style. I p A h nice 1109 00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,440 Speaker 1: and sweet with some of that hop sharpness going on 1110 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:29,000 Speaker 1: a fantastic brew that we've never heard of before, deciduous. 1111 00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:31,520 Speaker 1: We'll be sure to check out more beers from them. 1112 00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:33,880 Speaker 1: If you've had some other beers, maybe reach out to us, 1113 00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,480 Speaker 1: let us know what other beers we should be checking out, 1114 00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,520 Speaker 1: because we just started getting their stuff here in Atlanta. 1115 00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,040 Speaker 1: So I saw him on the shelf, I was like, okay, 1116 00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:41,799 Speaker 1: all right, worth a try for sure, and this one 1117 00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:44,279 Speaker 1: at least didn't disappoint, that's right. Yeah. So you can 1118 00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:45,920 Speaker 1: find show notes up on the website at how to 1119 00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,440 Speaker 1: money dot com along with a picture of this beer, 1120 00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:50,560 Speaker 1: and we also make sure to link to Eric's book 1121 00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:52,920 Speaker 1: that we mentioned during this episode as well as her sites. 1122 00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:54,960 Speaker 1: You can find all of that at how the Money 1123 00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:57,240 Speaker 1: dot com. Joel, that's gonna be it for today Buddy 1124 00:55:57,320 --> 00:56:01,880 Speaker 1: until next time. Best friends out, best friends out m