1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:03,560 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please 3 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry letter to Steve HARVFM dot com. We 4 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: could be reading your letter live on the air, just 5 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: like we're going to read this one right here, right now, 6 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 1: and you never know, it could be yours. 7 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,360 Speaker 2: It could be yours. Ladiesship, It's time for the Strawberry Litter. 8 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 2: My good friend, Shirley straw Berry, Thank. 9 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: You, my good friend. Junior. Subject smoke and Mirrors. Dear Stephen, Shirley, 10 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: I'm in a long distance relationship with a man that 11 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,919 Speaker 1: my daughter hooked me up with. He's a bodybuilder, and 12 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,919 Speaker 1: my daughter met him at her gym. She said. She 13 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,240 Speaker 1: was looking in the mirror working out when he came 14 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 1: and stood in front of her to see himself in 15 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 1: the mirror. She said, Other than being vain, he's extremely 16 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 1: quiet and nerdy. He and I talked a lot in 17 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: the beginning, and it was fun to have someone to 18 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: talk to. I overlooked the fact that every time we 19 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,120 Speaker 1: talked he was smoking weed, or had just had some weed, 20 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: or was planning to smoke weed at any minute. After 21 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 1: a few months, of doing video chats, he wanted to 22 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,399 Speaker 1: see me. I told him he could come visit me 23 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: at my house, but he insisted that I come visit him, 24 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 1: especially since my daughter lives in the same city. He 25 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,680 Speaker 1: bought me a ticket and asked me to stay at 26 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: his house. I planned to stay in his guest room, 27 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: but I left after he told me what he had 28 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: planned for the weekend. As he showed me around his house, 29 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 1: I saw condoms on his nightstand and I was totally 30 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: turned off by the Florida ceiling mirrors in his bedroom. 31 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: He asked what I was into sexually, and I was 32 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,959 Speaker 1: shocked because we'd never talked about fetish's and role playing. 33 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,039 Speaker 1: He told me what he wanted to do to me sexually, 34 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,000 Speaker 1: and he said we could watch ourselves in the mirrors 35 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 1: while we did it. I got an uber right away 36 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: and went to my daughter's apartment. He hasn't called or 37 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 1: texted me since, but he told my daughter I am 38 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: too shy and hard to get along with. Should I 39 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: explain the smoke and mirrors to my daughter or let 40 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: her keep thinking that the breakup was all my fault? 41 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: Please help? Who cares what he says? That's what I say? 42 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: Who cares? And why do you feel compelled to tell 43 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: your daughter anything because she introduced you to this loser. 44 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 1: That still doesn't make you obligated. It's simply not her business. 45 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 1: You can just say that it didn't work out and 46 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 1: keep it moving. What I don't get is why you 47 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 1: didn't stay at your daughter's house instead of what the 48 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 1: man you hardly knew. I mean, you say you're in 49 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: a long distance relationship with him, but you're not in it. 50 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: You just talk to this guy. You're not in a 51 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: relationship with this man you know. You only know a 52 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 1: couple of things about this guy. One is that he 53 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,799 Speaker 1: smokes weed all of the time. Your daughter's house would 54 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: have been the choice. That would have been a safer, 55 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 1: smarter situation for you to be in since you were traveling, 56 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:48,359 Speaker 1: And I'm glad you got out of his house when 57 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: you did, because that could have been It could have 58 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: worked out crazy for you, could have been dangerous. 59 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 2: You don't know. 60 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 1: Then you get to his house and realized he only 61 00:02:56,919 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 1: want his sex from you, and that's it, really, Mom. 62 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:04,120 Speaker 1: I think you need to slow down, sis, because you 63 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: don't know what you want. I mean, you were insulted 64 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 1: with the mirrors and the condoms on the nightstand. I mean, 65 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 1: he could have at least put those up, but he didn't. 66 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: You didn't do enough homework or research on this guy 67 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 1: to know what it was gonna be, what was going 68 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: to be waiting for you when you got off that plane. 69 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 1: You went from video chatting with him, thinking you're in 70 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:26,520 Speaker 1: some sort of long distance relationship with this guy, to 71 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: staying at his house. I mean, it sounds a little crazy, 72 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 1: and I don't want you out here acting desperate in 73 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,960 Speaker 1: these streets because this is what you can end up with, 74 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: wall to wall, mirror's condoms on the nightstand, and a 75 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: man saying to you that you can watch yourselves while 76 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: you have sex what you don't even know him like that. Again, 77 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: I'm glad you left early. I hope you learned what 78 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,880 Speaker 1: not to do in the future. 79 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 3: Steve, Well, it's a lot to unpack here, but really 80 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 3: nothing to unpack. This is a woman, and see I'm 81 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 3: interested in what she's not saying, So let's go. I'm 82 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 3: in a long distance relationship with a man that my 83 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 3: daughter hooked me up with. He's a bodybuilding My daughter 84 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 3: met him at her gym. She said she was looking 85 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 3: in the mirror at herself working out. He came stood 86 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 3: in front of her to see herself in the mirror. 87 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 3: She said, other than being vain, he's extremely quiet and nerdy. Okay, 88 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 3: other than being vain, he's extremely quiet and nerdy. 89 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:32,800 Speaker 2: Do that make sense to you? Together? Not at all. 90 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 2: It just don't go together at all. 91 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:42,280 Speaker 3: Therefore, I think your daughter gave you initially a bad read. 92 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 1: But. 93 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 3: You took the time to start talking him facetiming and stuff, 94 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 3: and you got an even worse read on this guy. 95 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 3: You said, he and I talked a lot in the beginning. 96 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,039 Speaker 3: It was fun to have someone to talk to. Let's 97 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,280 Speaker 3: stop for a minute. What did you just say? 98 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 2: You heard it? 99 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:14,119 Speaker 3: It was fun to have someone to talk to. Where 100 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:19,479 Speaker 3: have you been in have you been locked away? 101 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 2: Have you been in disposed? 102 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 3: Have you been at a convent, have you been up 103 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 3: in the mountains at a retreat? Have you just retired 104 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 3: from being a monk in a Buddhist temple? What did 105 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,600 Speaker 3: you get? It was nice to have somebody to talk to. 106 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 3: So what she's not saying is she was lonely. I 107 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 3: think that's what the hookup was. I overlooked the fact 108 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 3: that every time we talked, he was smoking weed or had. 109 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:06,280 Speaker 1: Just I lost he was smoking weed, or had just 110 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: smoked weed, or was planning to smoke weed at any minute. 111 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 2: Point is I didn't make no sense to me. 112 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,359 Speaker 3: Look the fact that every time we talked he was 113 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 3: smoking weed, or I had just handsome weed, while I 114 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 3: was planning to smoke weed at any minute. Smokey the 115 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:35,040 Speaker 3: nerd that's vain, loves himself, quiet, nerdy, hold that weed 116 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 3: all the damn path, all. 117 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 2: The time, all the time. 118 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 1: That's all she knew about him. All right, we'll have 119 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: part two of your response coming up, Steve. To today's 120 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: letter at twenty three minutes after the hour. The subject 121 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 1: is smoking mirras. We'll be back right after this. You're 122 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: listening morning show, All right, Steve, Come on, let's recap 123 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 1: today's Strawberry letter. The sub checked smoke and mirrors. 124 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 3: Here's a woman who is obviously extremely lonely. Her daughter 125 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 3: lives out of state. Meets this man at the gym. 126 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 3: She was working out, looking at herself in the mirror. 127 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 3: He came and stood in front of her. They met 128 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 3: each other. She introduced him to her mom, saying, other 129 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 3: than being vain, he's really quiet and nerdy that don't 130 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 3: go together. Vain people are very rarely quiet or nerdy. 131 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 3: Your daughter does not know how to assess people. You 132 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 3: meet the man, y'all get on the phone, y'all start talking. 133 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 3: He and I talked a lot in the beginning, and 134 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 3: it was fun to have someone to talk to. 135 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 2: What what so? Who are you? 136 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 3: It was fun to have someone to talk to. Okay, 137 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 3: now where you being lady? I overlooked the fact that 138 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 3: every time we talked he was smoking weed or had 139 00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 3: just had some weed. 140 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 2: I was playing in the smoke weed at any minute. 141 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 2: Why is the nerdy quiet person that hard talk when 142 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,240 Speaker 2: you're smoking that damn much? 143 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, and hell, he might not be quiet, he might 144 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 3: just be sleepy a lot. After a few months of 145 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 3: doing video chats, he wanted to see me. I told 146 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 3: him he could come visit me at my house, but 147 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 3: he insisted that I come visit him, especially since my 148 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 3: daughter lives in the same city. Okay, that kind of 149 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 3: makes sense. He bought me a ticket and asked me 150 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 3: to stay at his house. I planned to stay in 151 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 3: his guest room. We ain't nobody flew you out here 152 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:37,680 Speaker 3: for that, all right? 153 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:39,559 Speaker 2: Who flew you. 154 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 3: Out there to stay in the guest room. If you 155 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 3: gonna stay in the guest room. We just stayed keep 156 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 3: on with these video chats because at least I can 157 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 3: talk to you while we in his bedroom. 158 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:57,199 Speaker 2: All right, all right. 159 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,679 Speaker 3: Oh, I guess how I'll come on and go to end. 160 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,439 Speaker 3: But I left after he told me what he had 161 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 3: planned for the weekend. As he showed me around his house, 162 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 3: I saw condoms on his knight stand and I was 163 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,840 Speaker 3: totally turned off by the floor to ceiling mirrors in 164 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:21,600 Speaker 3: his bedroom. Well, I don't see what's wrong with that. Yeah, 165 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,479 Speaker 3: daughter told you he was vain, vain, he a bodybuilding. 166 00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 3: He got to see hisself when he get up. But 167 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 3: he has some other plans for you. Now, you turned 168 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 3: off by the floor the ceiling mirrors in the bedroom. 169 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 2: I kind of like that myself. I don't have it. 170 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 3: But to me, he asked me what I was into sexually, 171 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 3: and I was shocked because we never talked about fetishes 172 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 3: and role playing. Well, but you have talked about sex. 173 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 3: See that's what she didn't put in that. Y'all just 174 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,119 Speaker 3: didn't discuss fetishes in role playing. 175 00:09:58,880 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: But everything else. 176 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, but you lying if you think all in video 177 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 3: chacks and sex ain't come up. 178 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 2: That's not true. 179 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,200 Speaker 3: He told me what he wanted to do to me sexually, 180 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 3: and he said we could watch ourselves in the mirror 181 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 3: while we did it. That's what the flow to see 182 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 3: in the mirrors is for. That's what the condumns is 183 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 3: on that table for. You ought to see what's in 184 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 3: the draws though, See, you ain't even see that. 185 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: Backs facts back, Steve Harvey. 186 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 3: There's some stuff in that draws though. I got an 187 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 3: uber right away and went to my daughter's apartment. Well, 188 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,320 Speaker 3: you should have been in the first place. He hasn't 189 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 3: called a text me since then. Well what he gonna say? 190 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:50,320 Speaker 3: So should I explain this? Okay, hold on, he ain't 191 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 3: called the text me since then. But he told my daughter, 192 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 3: I'm too shy and hard to get along. 193 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 2: Wait a minute, this is done. 194 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 3: Quiet nerd that just told your daughter that you too 195 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 3: shy and hard to get along with your daughter has 196 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 3: a poor assessment of man. But, like Shirley said, what 197 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 3: do you care what the hell he think or what 198 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 3: your daughter think? 199 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, let your daughter dat him. 200 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 3: She like going to the jail, She like looking at 201 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 3: herself in the mirror. 202 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 2: I don't really see what you want us to do. 203 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 3: So should I let my daughter keep thinking that the 204 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 3: breakup was all my fault? Please help? Just really, you 205 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 3: really don't have a problem. You're not going back up there. 206 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 3: You're not into fetish's and role playing. You don't like 207 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 3: looking at yourself in the mirror because you probably get 208 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,560 Speaker 3: out to bed and you know, I'm like cool walking 209 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 3: towards it. But when you turn sideways in that float 210 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 3: the ceiling mirror, we could throw your ass into. 211 00:11:54,280 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: Something so stupid. What is that? 212 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 2: Did you be walking to me? Be going all right? 213 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 3: Now? 214 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 2: Then you turn to the side, and it'd be like, 215 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 2: you know, just creep out. It's just you know, shocking. 216 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 3: It is shocking, and so that's what it is. And 217 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 3: so you know, I don't know what to tell you, lady. 218 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 3: You really don't have a problem. I tell my daughter 219 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 3: the truth. Actually I flew out here. We had discussed sex, 220 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 3: but we didn't discuss fetishes and role playing. 221 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 2: Now obviously, uh a big big boy over here. 222 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 3: Well, big boy wanted to put some straps on me 223 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 3: and have me swinging back and forth. And every time 224 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 3: I swung into him, you knew what was gonna happen. 225 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 1: Listen, leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Instagram, 226 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: at Steve Barb them and child especially. 227 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 2: I didn't think the swing was big enough. 228 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: Hondie Man, you're listening to the Hardy Morning Show. 229 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:10,679 Speaker 3: H