Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey, it's Roy Wood Jr.
Speaker 1: We've got a little something different for you today. Now,
Speaker 1: you remember, before the pandemic, you could stand around a
Speaker 1: water cooler and talk to your co workers. We used
Speaker 1: to call it water cooler conversations, even though there was
Speaker 1: never really a water cooler there anyway. Two of my
Speaker 1: good friends, Daily Show correspondent Dulce Sloan and Daily Show
Speaker 1: writer Josh Johnson, are known around the building for their
Speaker 1: water cooler conversations, and they turned it into a podcast.
Speaker 1: This is your chance to hear these two people go
Speaker 1: back and forth the way we get to hear it
Speaker 1: all the time in the hallway. The podcast is called
Speaker 1: hold Up. Have a listen. Hey, everybody, welcome to Hold Up.
Speaker 1: We are the show that brings you the hard hitting
Speaker 1: topics that you don't think hit hard, but we know.
Speaker 1: Do you know? It's a big opinions about small thing things.
Speaker 1: It's things that make us upset that you probably haven't
Speaker 1: even thought of. We go against each other every episode.
Speaker 1: I'm Josh Johnson, right for the Daily Show, joined by
Speaker 1: Dulce Sloan, correspondent for The Daily Show and one of
Speaker 1: the best friends yeah, I am. Yeah, I mean I guess,
Speaker 1: I guess if you have to ask, then like no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes you realize that, like the way you
Speaker 1: think about people isn't always the way they think about you.
Speaker 1: So like, I consider you one of my best friends,
Speaker 1: but you're always glad to hear it when somebody says
Speaker 1: it out loud. The confirmation is nice. I get you,
Speaker 1: because honestly, this is this is the other thing I've
Speaker 1: watched it happen at real time where it's like, oh man,
Speaker 1: that's my best friend and he's like, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: we're cool. It's listen. I was sitting there, I was
Speaker 1: anna show me and a friend of mine had gone
Speaker 1: to see um it's to share. Zamata and Nicole Buyer
Speaker 1: used to do an improv show together in l A.
Speaker 1: I think, like you Cde Franklin, and they're very They're
Speaker 1: so good at it and they worked really well together.
Speaker 1: It's great to watch. But I was sitting with a
Speaker 1: friend of mine and they at one point they were like,
Speaker 1: clap it up if you're here with your best friend,
Speaker 1: and neither one of us clapped, and we started laughing, Uh,
Speaker 1: because we're because like at that time, we weren't like
Speaker 1: tight like that, but neither one of us clapped and
Speaker 1: we were like, a ha. So I think it was
Speaker 1: great that we both acknowledged that we weren't each other's
Speaker 1: best friend. Now we probably wouldn't say that, but like
Speaker 1: at the time it was great because right, and our
Speaker 1: our best friend who was a mutual friend, so this
Speaker 1: friend between that could get harry. No, it's fine because
Speaker 1: now we're just all best friends together. Um, but at
Speaker 1: the time it's like we shared a best friend. But
Speaker 1: then we weren't best friends. So now we're all best friends,
Speaker 1: which we gotta call it. But she's got to Rona.
Speaker 1: I mean, I hope she's all right. She's fine. They
Speaker 1: got this new pill that came out. Um, you ever
Speaker 1: heard about this anti viral pill they're giving people now
Speaker 1: for the Roney. I I heard of it. I didn't
Speaker 1: know it had been approved and people were popping it. Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: she's got it in are in you know, the all
Speaker 1: best friend who was firmly just part best friend. Uh,
Speaker 1: she had best friend. She has it too, so we're
Speaker 1: both on it. Yeah, it's it's a trip, but yes,
Speaker 1: we are best friends. We could have called this best friends.
Speaker 1: But again, Nicole Buyer and so years the main I
Speaker 1: have already taken that title. So so what a segue?
Speaker 1: What a segue? It's a hold up, that is what
Speaker 1: this says. Um, What was this week with, you know,
Speaker 1: not news about the war? The war still there is.
Speaker 1: There's still a war, the pandemic. You know, even though
Speaker 1: we accidentally just gave you an update on pills that
Speaker 1: came out. We come to you today with a fierce
Speaker 1: debate that both of us feel pretty strongly about exercise
Speaker 1: bikes versus bike rides, so at home bikes versus cycling
Speaker 1: out in the world. Okay, now listen, what side are
Speaker 1: you on? I'll tell you right now. I'm on the
Speaker 1: side of bike rides out in the world. Okay. I
Speaker 1: am on this side of indoor bikes. As someone who
Speaker 1: works in this industry, my face is very important, and
Speaker 1: I have been on a bike as an adult. It
Speaker 1: was very worried about my face the entire time. When
Speaker 1: you're riding bikes in your neighborhoods, a kid like I
Speaker 1: would do this like sometimes like if I was on
Speaker 1: my bike and my mom would come home from work,
Speaker 1: I would like try to raise my mom while she
Speaker 1: was in the car. This woman had every ability to
Speaker 1: beat me. She's in a car, but she would always
Speaker 1: like be like, ah, you almost got me, and I
Speaker 1: was let I looked at her. I was like, you
Speaker 1: can go a hundred miles an hour. I don't want
Speaker 1: to play this game with you. She's like, not in
Speaker 1: his neighborhood. I'm like, you're right, but like riding and
Speaker 1: bike as a kid one, your body is way more uh,
Speaker 1: your body is younger, your body is more supple. Okay,
Speaker 1: you bounced back, Like I still have a scar on
Speaker 1: my right arm from falling off a bike, like you still.
Speaker 1: We all have like falling off bikes, cars and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. But like if you fell off a bike
Speaker 1: in your neighborhood, it wasn't like detramental. But like we
Speaker 1: both know grown adults in New York. The number of
Speaker 1: people that I know that have been and they said
Speaker 1: they were hit by a parked car, which the logistics
Speaker 1: on that gonna make any sense to me. I have
Speaker 1: a hairstylist who someone on a bike ran into her
Speaker 1: and broke her arm, and I was like, how fucking fast?
Speaker 1: What's someone going on a bike. So it's like, but
Speaker 1: think about it, Like the number of times you try
Speaker 1: to like that bike lane in New York, like trying
Speaker 1: to get out of a car or trying to cross
Speaker 1: the street st lawless. They're trying to take you out.
Speaker 1: Then there's the electric bikes now, which is just like
Speaker 1: a fancy moped. I don't care what anybody says, but
Speaker 1: like I know people that's like remember the dude broke
Speaker 1: we know who broke both of his elbows. It was
Speaker 1: basically in half a hula hoop for yes, yes, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: so this losers and a half a lulu because he
Speaker 1: didn't want to take a car. He thought he was
Speaker 1: still good for the subway. I mean the subway as
Speaker 1: a hellhole that should be again filled with concrete and
Speaker 1: ended immediately. But it's like like you're coming from a
Speaker 1: place of fear right now. I'm not. It's not about fear.
Speaker 1: It's I have seen too many people have died on
Speaker 1: a bike, too many people, because like there's a childhood
Speaker 1: nostalagi of like going to the corner store or whatever.
Speaker 1: Like I had fun riding bikes as a kid, but
Speaker 1: I was also in a suburban neighborhood. We were writing
Speaker 1: down like streets that didn't have people roaring down there.
Speaker 1: We were riding through could the sacks? We were like
Speaker 1: in nice area with people are decent jobs, like I
Speaker 1: wasn't delivering food in the city. Like It's just like
Speaker 1: once you put a bike in a city, the whole
Speaker 1: game changes. Okay, but I think that you're assuming I'm
Speaker 1: talking about just riding bikes in New York. I'm talking
Speaker 1: about outdoor cycling. I'm talking about being in nature, being
Speaker 1: one with with the elements. Okay, I feel like exercise, huh,
Speaker 1: some of like riding trails and stuff. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: any bike riding outside. You know, exercise bikes. They're limited, Okay,
Speaker 1: they don't actually give you the full bike ride experience.
Speaker 1: You're doing all that pedlant to go nowhere. You're doing
Speaker 1: all that pedalant to get off and still be in
Speaker 1: your living room. You're not talking about biking in the
Speaker 1: city because we both know that's a dangerous, dangerous situation.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm talking about all of it. I I
Speaker 1: see some people bike in the city that impressed me
Speaker 1: very much. Now, maybe they get card doored once a year,
Speaker 1: but there are people that have navigated this city with
Speaker 1: a bike. The entire year. Anytime you order food, that's
Speaker 1: usually a bike. That's usually a dude on a bike
Speaker 1: living a fast lane lifestyle or a little man on
Speaker 1: a little like little scooter vest but kind of situation
Speaker 1: to be little. No, he's not little. The thing is
Speaker 1: a little Oh I thought you were saying a little
Speaker 1: man at all a little vest. But both have to
Speaker 1: be little because I'm the man who were too big
Speaker 1: to be on him. And that's my favorite. There's nothing
Speaker 1: like a man that's too big to be all the
Speaker 1: bike he's on, Like he he loved his bike so much,
Speaker 1: and this is his biker when he was fifteen and
Speaker 1: now he's thirty three and he's he's huge. You don't
Speaker 1: even know how the pedals keep working. Somebod These bikes
Speaker 1: are really expensive because when my friends, like I got
Speaker 1: a twelve on dollar bike and I was like, bitch,
Speaker 1: where are you going? Where are you going? It's a
Speaker 1: bike that's a bike. Also are you an avenger? Like?
Speaker 1: How are you? How are you needing to get there
Speaker 1: on a bike? That's that's stylish, that that does that
Speaker 1: sleek twelve hundred American twelve hunter And in things a
Speaker 1: stack and some change a stack and some change stack
Speaker 1: in two C notes for a bike for a and
Speaker 1: where are you going? Where are you going? Man? But
Speaker 1: where are you going? Because you don't need gas? So
Speaker 1: where are you going? Where are you going? And she
Speaker 1: has a girl. It was nuts and I'm just like okay, um,
Speaker 1: but like I understand, it's more places. It's just it's yes,
Speaker 1: it is fear, it is danger, but it's like because
Speaker 1: like those people who like ride bikes, like one of
Speaker 1: my friends, he is really into like BMX riding and
Speaker 1: he has his whole trail. Um, I should really find
Speaker 1: it because it's it's nice. Um, the BMX trail is nice,
Speaker 1: so the bike is nice. Well, he has most boot bikes.
Speaker 1: Is being ex trail. Um. He's one of my good friends.
Speaker 1: I should I should promote his business. If you're in
Speaker 1: uh the Great State of Georgia, Georgian you need a bike, Yes,
Speaker 1: go to Jared's place bike park. Uh hey hey, if
Speaker 1: you didn't think I was gonna get on here and
Speaker 1: promote my friends, he got your damn mine. Also, the
Speaker 1: last time I was on here, I should have promoted
Speaker 1: the one woman show him producing Don't Reach in the Bag,
Speaker 1: Written by and starring she laid with sharp So that's
Speaker 1: my own fault. Um, it's my own fault. It's my
Speaker 1: own fault. But it's uh so because he liked it,
Speaker 1: my friends started dating him. Well, his wife, who ever
Speaker 1: became friends with Lace Larry, whose amazing comic. She had
Speaker 1: to get into bikes because he was in the bikes,
Speaker 1: and then her face was constantly in danger. The number
Speaker 1: of times she's been scratched up, cut up the number
Speaker 1: of times he's sprained something or hurt something because it's
Speaker 1: like once bikes aren't on flat land. M hmm. That's
Speaker 1: also scary because it's just like, all, let me ride
Speaker 1: through this mountain on this only skinny two wheel. I'm like,
Speaker 1: that don't seem good either. Mountains are very a very
Speaker 1: uh angular Um, they're very much not for this feels
Speaker 1: like you have a point, but then you you didn't
Speaker 1: quite formulate all of the citizens structures together. So now
Speaker 1: you're like, you know, mountains they got those curves. That's hard.
Speaker 1: Like you've ever going on like a hiking trail, m
Speaker 1: you're going hiking before and been like, oh, this is
Speaker 1: very precarious, and that's on the feet that God gave you.
Speaker 1: You understand. So it's like, if it's precarious on these
Speaker 1: two hear feet, it's got to be more precarious when
Speaker 1: I put wheels into it. So it's like it's just
Speaker 1: there's just so much dangerous. It just seems so dangerous
Speaker 1: to like be in these places and you're it's not fear,
Speaker 1: it's precautionary. It's anger. Is me wanting to keep my
Speaker 1: face all of the teeth that you have, all the
Speaker 1: teeth you're gonna have, you understand, that's that's not really true.
Speaker 1: Lots of people got fake teeth. Now, that's what I'm
Speaker 1: about to say. You lost your baby teeth and his
Speaker 1: new teeth came in and like, hey, he's the only mouthbones,
Speaker 1: which is first of all, that's what someone I heard,
Speaker 1: the one described teeth like that, and it sucked me
Speaker 1: up so bad it makes me not want you mouth bones.
Speaker 1: Teeth are bones, I know. But thank you. Isn't it weird?
Speaker 1: Isn't it weird? So this is my thinging, this is
Speaker 1: where I'm I'm gonna come at you right now with
Speaker 1: the logic you came at me with last episode. You
Speaker 1: were like, hey, you're not making points for diners. You're
Speaker 1: over here just attacking wolf House. That's I mean, that's
Speaker 1: how I'm feeling right now. You're just talking about the
Speaker 1: downsides of riding bikes outside. I'm not hearing any great
Speaker 1: points about these exercise bikes sitting down looking like clothes racks,
Speaker 1: looking like low rise skirt holders all in American homes,
Speaker 1: skirt roller holders. Is hilarious. Listen. I'm just saying that,
Speaker 1: if you, Peloton seems to have changed the game, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you, because before we were just on these stationary
Speaker 1: bikes watching TV, right yeah, hopefully, or trying to read
Speaker 1: a book, which is wild. How are you going to
Speaker 1: read a book when you're tilting left? You can give
Speaker 1: yourself motion sickness. It was like, you look crazy. Can
Speaker 1: you imagine if somebody threw up try to trying to
Speaker 1: read Dickens while they get in that's so funny, read
Speaker 1: great expectations and just like I've seen the most of
Speaker 1: the number of people I have seen more than one person,
Speaker 1: which is too many riding a bike through Brooklyn with
Speaker 1: one hand for reading a book. You're riding a bike
Speaker 1: in the streets reading a book, and I'm like, who
Speaker 1: is this for? Okay, so let me tell you this
Speaker 1: thing right now. This this will slightly undercut my point,
Speaker 1: but I think that for you and and the listeners,
Speaker 1: you'll enjoy it. I was in Brooklyn and this is
Speaker 1: like I can't remember how long I lived here by now,
Speaker 1: but I was in Brooklyn and saw a true gift.
Speaker 1: I saw two different guys, right, so two different individual
Speaker 1: men on a unicycle one stop stop stop. You have
Speaker 1: to give me and he's ever listening time to create
Speaker 1: a mental picture of how these humans how to people?
Speaker 1: Or on a unicycle? Is this a kids stacked in
Speaker 1: a trench coat situation? Are two grown hipsters? Well, what
Speaker 1: I'm saying is like, because you know we've been we
Speaker 1: we had as a friend, Like as a kid growing up,
Speaker 1: you would like if your friend had pegs on their bike,
Speaker 1: like on the back wheels or something, or you put
Speaker 1: like a friend on a handlebars or like a younger sibling,
Speaker 1: like you know, if you have like a boy bike. Also,
Speaker 1: can we talk about the fact that the whole distinguishing
Speaker 1: saying where they change the you're like for girl bikes
Speaker 1: and boy bikes, the bars would be different in the middle.
Speaker 1: It never made sense to me why the boy bike
Speaker 1: had the bar set up where something happened, it would
Speaker 1: break the boys testicles. What so boy bikes if you remember,
Speaker 1: boy bikes had the bar that went straight across, and
Speaker 1: then girl bikes had the bar that went that dipped down.
Speaker 1: But it made more sense to me for the boy
Speaker 1: bikes to have the bar that dipped down because if
Speaker 1: anything happened, been like if I hit something, if I
Speaker 1: hit like a bumper, if I fall off my bike,
Speaker 1: if I get hit in the crotch, nothing, some lips
Speaker 1: might hurt, but I'm not breaking things like these boy
Speaker 1: bikes because like I had guy friends growing up, they
Speaker 1: would run over something in their bikes. They would hit
Speaker 1: something or whatever, and like they're straight across bar would
Speaker 1: cause some problems. I just not have never made sense. Also,
Speaker 1: it didn't make sense where there be different designs for
Speaker 1: girl and boy bikes. So from what I was told
Speaker 1: by my grandmother when I asked this question when I
Speaker 1: was little, the dip was because, especially back in the day,
Speaker 1: a lot of women would ride bites and skirts. So
Speaker 1: if they didn't have to lift their leg over the bar,
Speaker 1: and they could just lift their leg over the lowered bar,
Speaker 1: they wouldn't flip their skirt in the air, whereas the
Speaker 1: boys always wore pants and jeans so nobody cares. They
Speaker 1: flipped their leg over. Um, wow, dude, shot out to
Speaker 1: your grandma. Yeah, just Grandma's be knowing stuff. She's a blessing,
Speaker 1: truly tell her. I said, hey, um, because when I
Speaker 1: asked my mother she was like, girl, I don't know.
Speaker 1: We moved back to Miami. I was like nine at
Speaker 1: seeing grown men sell weed on a bike, but it
Speaker 1: was never an adult. It was always a child's bike
Speaker 1: and it was always a little girl's bike. Look at it,
Speaker 1: so you're thinking of a grown man. Imagine trick Daddy, right, No,
Speaker 1: I saw growing up. Yeah, trigg Daddy on a bike
Speaker 1: with the tassels, with the tassels, and he's in a
Speaker 1: WIFEI the long the long jean shorts. It's Miami. So
Speaker 1: there's just you can just see the hints of baby
Speaker 1: powder on him. So you say, it's you know, fresh
Speaker 1: and clean. The socks and then the slides. Also, he
Speaker 1: wiggled too much when he takes off, so when he
Speaker 1: goes to kick off, he really just be pushing the
Speaker 1: handlebars too, like like overcorrected too much. Yeah, because it's
Speaker 1: like you know this bike is too small for you.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't be here. Um, bikes are fun, but like
Speaker 1: I feel because like if you reach a certain age
Speaker 1: or like once you hit like high school, I think
Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, I think I'm good with this bike.
Speaker 1: But it's like for me, it's like, yeah, I'm going
Speaker 1: stationary only because there's so much dak. Now, yes, the
Speaker 1: stationary bike is gonna end up being clothes hanger. Okay,
Speaker 1: But like I said, Peloton has changed the game because
Speaker 1: you can you can get the experience. It's a VR
Speaker 1: experience or two do or whatever. He said, it's a community.
Speaker 1: What it's a community the Peloton? What about him? It's
Speaker 1: a community? How the hell is it a community. I'm
Speaker 1: not a bike. You take classes with other people and
Speaker 1: other people are high fiving you the whole time. I
Speaker 1: don't like that. Oh I mean now i feel like
Speaker 1: I'm making both our points, Like I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: fighting myself now. I like that you can see the
Speaker 1: different landscapes and stuff like that. Not everybody can choose
Speaker 1: a class part. That sounds like it costs extra cost extra,
Speaker 1: of course, But I thought that's what you meant when
Speaker 1: you were like to change the game because they changed
Speaker 1: the game through community. I thought they changed the game
Speaker 1: because they put a screen on that bitch. I don't
Speaker 1: know if they were the first one like, oh, you
Speaker 1: want to feel like you fight it through the Alps,
Speaker 1: here's this movie. Like I thought that's how they changed
Speaker 1: the game. I like, I like how this multibillion dollar corporation.
Speaker 1: It's fun that like like classes at like seminars on
Speaker 1: health and fitness, they've they've they've vented all these new
Speaker 1: ways to be fit at different points in your life.
Speaker 1: And you were like, no, they favors for putting the
Speaker 1: iPad in the front. Yeah, I mean, I listen, you
Speaker 1: know what I did genuinely forget that they had those classes.
Speaker 1: That's not something I would want. But maybe it's good
Speaker 1: because then people's sweat ain't because I've been in classes before,
Speaker 1: like workout classes, and people be sweating and it's sweat.
Speaker 1: He goes airborne and then they sweat on you, and
Speaker 1: then you're sweat could be on them, and I don't
Speaker 1: wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait.
Speaker 1: You're saying a lot of things right now. People be
Speaker 1: sweating and sweat. Sweat fundamentally is a liquid in any
Speaker 1: liquid can evaporate. Okay, But you see though, because what
Speaker 1: you just did you try to use fundamentally to get
Speaker 1: scientific and get me confused. Right now, you're not making
Speaker 1: sense because you've never had somebody sweat on you that
Speaker 1: that I wasn't touching though. Think about it, if you're
Speaker 1: in a workout class, all of this sweat is just
Speaker 1: getting thrown instead of air, like you're making it sound
Speaker 1: like people are just emitting juices out of there like
Speaker 1: foreheads when you're in you're in a workout class, you're sweating,
Speaker 1: and you've never been to workout class, and just seeing
Speaker 1: like sweat coming off of people I've never seen. If
Speaker 1: you see sweat coming off of somebody like smoke, that's
Speaker 1: a sick person. Not like smoke, you crazy person, but
Speaker 1: like it's I don't I just have to. I just
Speaker 1: I could be wrong, but the words that you use
Speaker 1: to describe what you're saying definitely feel like they're incorrect.
Speaker 1: I just have had people sweat on me and I
Speaker 1: don't like it. But from far away like that, we're
Speaker 1: in a class. Everyone, there's thirty people in here. We're
Speaker 1: all fucking sweating. We're sweating, we're swinging limbs or it's
Speaker 1: a it's a cardio class. So if your arms are
Speaker 1: sweating and you're flailing your arms about now, flick sweat
Speaker 1: on you, that's that's a different thing. Okay. I thought
Speaker 1: that you were talking about just steam coming off of somebody. No,
Speaker 1: not like a cartoon. I'm talking about like the slip,
Speaker 1: like the you know, you've got your arms going and
Speaker 1: then they're sweat getting flipped and you got thirty people
Speaker 1: flicking sweat. I don't sweat like that, but I have
Speaker 1: seen people flick some sweat and I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: let me go to the next row. So let me
Speaker 1: both tell you. Okay, so I'll let me. I'll go
Speaker 1: back to the unicycle thing first and then I'll tell
Speaker 1: you about the exercise class thing. So with the unicycle thing,
Speaker 1: it was two dudes on a unicycle each in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: They all both have their own unicycles. They both got
Speaker 1: their own unicycle. Oh did you think they were holding hands?
Speaker 1: I know what I'm saying is you said two dudes
Speaker 1: on a unicycle. Yeah, so I thought it was two
Speaker 1: dudes on a you recycle. That's why I said where
Speaker 1: they stacked up like kids at a trench coat. No no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no too individual to individual, no pussy getting man man,
Speaker 1: I would describe it that way. But yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: feel two men with very strong calves, two men with
Speaker 1: Goku like calves, because the thing is like the seat
Speaker 1: on a unicycle. It's so uncomfortable, it's deeply uncomfortable. I've
Speaker 1: only felt it with my hand. I've never been on
Speaker 1: a unicycle because I don't have that type of balance.
Speaker 1: The amount of course strength that you need to be
Speaker 1: on a unicycle is truly impressive. That's why I like
Speaker 1: think about any time you like, like, that's why you're
Speaker 1: watching RuPaul's drag race. You see somebody to a split
Speaker 1: like to the fact that this day that we're all amazed.
Speaker 1: Can you ever tried to get I tried to getting
Speaker 1: on a unicycle? Is trying to do like a pogo stick?
Speaker 1: M hmm. Have you trying to use a pogo stick?
Speaker 1: I feel like I can't use a pogo stick. Pogo
Speaker 1: stick is a bit easier because the wheel of a
Speaker 1: unice iCal is what is absolutely treacherous. Um. But then
Speaker 1: this is this is what happened though, So they're going
Speaker 1: opposite directions. Towards each other, right, Oh, like a joust.
Speaker 1: One of them is looking and one of them, I
Speaker 1: don't know what he's doing. He just enjoying his uh
Speaker 1: beautiful hipster day, like he's just looking around. The other
Speaker 1: guy sees him coming and it's like hey hey, hey,
Speaker 1: hey hey, and then they perfectly run into each other,
Speaker 1: perfectly as like the wheels come together first and then
Speaker 1: the body split. Second they are a bicycle at those
Speaker 1: bid first second they were a tandem. Bite those bids
Speaker 1: scissors of the air and they fell down. My question
Speaker 1: is the guy that saw it coming, why did he
Speaker 1: not move? I don't think he really got control of
Speaker 1: that unicycle. I think that they're act Really they're each
Speaker 1: other's yang and yang, because I think that the guy
Speaker 1: that was vigilant isn't as good unicycling, and the guy
Speaker 1: that wouldn't pay attention is so good that he didn't
Speaker 1: have to pay attention. Oh so one was overconfident and
Speaker 1: then the other one didn't have the skills to Because
Speaker 1: I'll tell you right now, if I get on one,
Speaker 1: just me being balanced is a victory. I don't I
Speaker 1: don't need to learn how to turn, because that's the
Speaker 1: thing that looks. The most treacherous on a unicycle is
Speaker 1: trying to turn, because it always seems like a it's
Speaker 1: like trying to like turn like like a buggy in
Speaker 1: a grocery store, you know, when we have like just
Speaker 1: like a bad wheels and you're just like bodying this
Speaker 1: fucking shopping cart. Because then when I said buggy, like
Speaker 1: a bunch of people just went, what the hell is
Speaker 1: she talking about? Josh says, what I'm talking about this,
Speaker 1: but like just you just have like a just a
Speaker 1: bad buggy, and you're like, I'm gonna it's like a
Speaker 1: car with no para steering fluid, Like you just have
Speaker 1: to body this thing. That's always how like unicycle? I
Speaker 1: was like, you just have to scooch like you're just
Speaker 1: sliding across a really big booth in a restaurant. Looks
Speaker 1: to be how you turn on a unicycle. And it
Speaker 1: all seems very dangerous to me. Yeah, I think too dangerous.
Speaker 1: I think unicycling outside if that was the argument you'd
Speaker 1: have me. But cycling, what about unicycling? What about unicycling inside?
Speaker 1: Un Cycling inside means you just don't care about your stuff?
Speaker 1: What do you mean like you're gonna fall, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna fall on your own stuff. No, it's a stationary bike.
Speaker 1: It's a stationary unicycle. A stationary unicycle, I guess, I
Speaker 1: guess if you're already not going anywhere, that does make sense.
Speaker 1: Have you seen the underdesk bikes? Yes? And I don't
Speaker 1: tell me what you think about these things. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I believe them, because I think that when
Speaker 1: you just are kicking. To me, there's something about being
Speaker 1: on exercise bike and cycling outside where your body is
Speaker 1: already positioned to like really throttle that pedal, you know,
Speaker 1: like you're you're really able to kick it as far
Speaker 1: as possible until it comes back around, until you can
Speaker 1: do it again. It's easy on the knees. It's better
Speaker 1: for you than running. It's like it's it's it's been
Speaker 1: figured out. The science is there. The under the desk
Speaker 1: bike where you just sort of kicking pedals you strapped
Speaker 1: into it feels like the feet version of a straight jacket.
Speaker 1: Like it's just chaos. Howe we use the phase, that's
Speaker 1: just it's just chaos. Like I know that they think
Speaker 1: they're exercises, but I guarantee you you're not burd of
Speaker 1: the cowards you think you're burning? Well is it? I mean,
Speaker 1: have you seen, oh, have you seen like those long
Speaker 1: distance lay down bikes? Those make me nervous even if
Speaker 1: I'm outside those, those feel like I need an open
Speaker 1: field too to maneuver. And because those just stress me out,
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but why it's just here too relaxed,
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't feel like real exercise. It seems a
Speaker 1: little too different, you know, like when you see something.
Speaker 1: It would be like if you saw if you saw
Speaker 1: a car that could just fully drive on its side,
Speaker 1: you'd be like, I don't know if I need that.
Speaker 1: I think I'm good with all four wheels on the ground,
Speaker 1: sitting horizontal. It's about a car that just always existed
Speaker 1: just on two wheels. Yeah, I think if a car
Speaker 1: just was on two wheels driving sideways down the street,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, they're in danger. And that's how that
Speaker 1: lay down bike makes me feel, because like I like
Speaker 1: the tricks, but like the ones that you're like sitting
Speaker 1: down also, I guess to me it still feels like one.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's much better for your back what they'll
Speaker 1: sit down bikes than being on like a regular ass bright.
Speaker 1: Oh maybe maybe so I I don't know about that.
Speaker 1: My thing is, it looks like you are lost. Like
Speaker 1: there's never a time where I've seen someone use it
Speaker 1: where I was like, man, they're burning calories and working crazy.
Speaker 1: Every time I've seen it, I didn't like, you look crazy.
Speaker 1: Just imagine kicking under your desk like a baby all
Speaker 1: day to burn six calories. I mean, that's why I
Speaker 1: don't like sitting in really high chairs at restaurants, because
Speaker 1: I don't like to eat with my feet can swing.
Speaker 1: This feels like a different prompt. I don't know, It's like,
Speaker 1: you know, when you're just when my legs aren't. It
Speaker 1: just feels like, you know, like you know, you sit
Speaker 1: on like a really like high chair and your legs
Speaker 1: can swing. You just don't feel like grounded. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: a short person, so I'm five four. Nobody will believe
Speaker 1: me because my friends are like, I thought you were
Speaker 1: taller than that. I was like, I don't know what
Speaker 1: that's supposed to are you you're five four five four
Speaker 1: and a half. You know what it is you have?
Speaker 1: You have a presence that is taller than five four,
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like I think it's the
Speaker 1: way that you speak that makes people think you must
Speaker 1: be five six five seven? Man, What kind of life
Speaker 1: would I have if I was five six? But if
Speaker 1: you were, if you were five six like that. I
Speaker 1: talked about that all the time. I know I'm getting
Speaker 1: away from bikes for a second, but like if I've
Speaker 1: told you, even in stand up, I've talked about this
Speaker 1: if I was as tall as I thought I was
Speaker 1: gonna be when I was little. I like, if I
Speaker 1: was a tall man like six too, I'd be a problem.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I wouldn't even be me. Think about how
Speaker 1: many men we know who are over six ft or
Speaker 1: just six ft who are a problem. Like I don't
Speaker 1: even know if i'd be polite like I'm I'm a
Speaker 1: I'm a nice man because I'm pretty little. Like I know,
Speaker 1: I know the weight class I'm dealing with, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, I know who I can get based
Speaker 1: at my voice with. I do hate it when a
Speaker 1: man who is eye to eye to me like That's
Speaker 1: why I think they had the phrase, like I remember
Speaker 1: like growing up, we're like you would hear two men
Speaker 1: growing back and forth, you just hear like I heard
Speaker 1: this man saying to somebody, you're talking real tall. If
Speaker 1: someone said that, I think it's your obligation to come
Speaker 1: back with a with a bat like I think I
Speaker 1: think you can't, like you talk a real tall for
Speaker 1: somebody in this situation. And I'm just like I fully
Speaker 1: as I became an adult, I was like, I really
Speaker 1: know what this means now, Like you have no business
Speaker 1: saying these words, because I've definitely met men who had
Speaker 1: no business speaking to me. And it's I thought you
Speaker 1: were gonna finish the sentence with something. You just stopped
Speaker 1: and I did. I finished it with what it needed
Speaker 1: to be finished with. But they're just certain times you
Speaker 1: just see like someone engaging with somebody or just like
Speaker 1: this is not right. How do I tell them that
Speaker 1: they have no business being where they are? Um, like
Speaker 1: please start get off my lawn. Um, Also we don't
Speaker 1: tell we don't tell people to get off my lawn enough.
Speaker 1: I don't even have to be on grass, like start,
Speaker 1: get off my property, get off my lawn as an attitude. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: I say, I see what you mean. Not here for
Speaker 1: this nonsense, get off my lawn like very much. No trustpassing, um,
Speaker 1: no trustpassing. Let me like backup loser. But yeah, those states,
Speaker 1: like those bipes be like you sit down and pedal,
Speaker 1: they seem like they're much better for you're back. Also,
Speaker 1: I know I'm good, um because I know I'm good
Speaker 1: for a tangent. I know I'm good to ramble. But
Speaker 1: like because think about it, like if I was riding
Speaker 1: a bike across the country or even for like I
Speaker 1: don't know how long do people ride bikes for. They
Speaker 1: don't marathons and bikes, right, how long is it on bikes? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But you a try athalon is like other sports, right? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so like it's I don't want try athlon. I just
Speaker 1: want one athalon. I don't know the Greek for the
Speaker 1: whole thing, but I'm pretty sure athalon implies more than one.
Speaker 1: Well a marathon, you're just running, I know, but you
Speaker 1: said I watch just one athalon, and I think that
Speaker 1: athalon probably get you one marathon. I think we'll get
Speaker 1: you one. Did you ever hear the story of the
Speaker 1: first marathon, the like legend or the myth behind it
Speaker 1: from the Aga Greek romans whoever the whites were? Uh?
Speaker 1: Tell me, because I think I have it to remember. Basically,
Speaker 1: there was a war and then the messenger ran six
Speaker 1: miles deliver the message that the battle had been wont
Speaker 1: so when he got there, he screamed Nika, which is
Speaker 1: victory and it's why it's actually where Nike comes from.
Speaker 1: And then he died. So it's very weird that we
Speaker 1: replicate the thing that killed a guy. It's like if
Speaker 1: someone did the first It's like if the first flight
Speaker 1: everybody died and then we were like, let's just do that.
Speaker 1: That's that's what it feels like with exercise. Like it's
Speaker 1: because he ran twenty six miles as an emergency. He
Speaker 1: wasn't like I carved up last night. I'm feeling good.
Speaker 1: This is what I have a hard time believing. There
Speaker 1: wasn't a single horse it is. It is weird that
Speaker 1: he didn't get Yeah, that's bro when the British was coming.
Speaker 1: Paul Revere didn't do that on foot. You know that
Speaker 1: when Paul Revere was doing his ride, there was somebody
Speaker 1: that was trying to smash you know, there was somebody
Speaker 1: that was like shut up. I saw the sticktok where
Speaker 1: I guess this guy was being like the gay Paul
Speaker 1: Revere who was going to the her like hey girl,
Speaker 1: you know the British is coming, right, Okay, good, It
Speaker 1: was just it was hilarious, girl, girl, the British. I
Speaker 1: mean they're coming. And I laughed so hard. So like
Speaker 1: when you think about these little things history, because it's
Speaker 1: like everything's fucked up, so you can just take some
Speaker 1: little thing. It's like something silly, as like Paul Revere
Speaker 1: just like I don't know Ben Franklin in that day,
Speaker 1: I'm kite, just out. I'll tell you right now, Paul
Speaker 1: Revere probably would have hadn't even smooth ride on a bike.
Speaker 1: He and in the best ride in a car. What
Speaker 1: are we talking about? Yeah, but you can't just bring
Speaker 1: cars into it. You know what we're here to do.
Speaker 1: You out here, And if he had a jet, if
Speaker 1: he had a jet, you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1: Point and then you undercut it with nonsense. But isn't
Speaker 1: that what I do? Like, it's that's what I always do.
Speaker 1: You make a valid point and then I undercut it
Speaker 1: or not. That's what I bring it to you every episode.
Speaker 1: What are you confused about? It's not a confusion. It's
Speaker 1: confusion at all I've been doing this day one can't stop,
Speaker 1: won't stop. It's not a confusion at the least, it's
Speaker 1: a genuine frustration. Yeah, I mean, you mean this is
Speaker 1: what the people can a'm here for. It's nonsense and confusion, precipitation.
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. And you can't just add
Speaker 1: other words. You can always add other words because the
Speaker 1: words as for a baby, I feel like it's only
Speaker 1: fair if I've swayed you a bit into exercise outside
Speaker 1: on a cycling bike, if you can give me somewhere
Speaker 1: flat ground, no obstacles, no car doors, no no grown
Speaker 1: men on a penny farthing and a dirty beard. Um, Joe,
Speaker 1: did you read the article most men's beards are disgusting? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I I didn't expect them to be uh clean,
Speaker 1: and that was and that was our faults. That was
Speaker 1: our faults. You expected men to not be men idiots.
Speaker 1: Not to say that all men aren't clean. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying that the one that they've talked to who seem
Speaker 1: to have beards um around here giving people face reactions. Uh,
Speaker 1: but I digest. So we've got I've been doing that
Speaker 1: for years and you were literally like one of the
Speaker 1: four people have caught it. Most people probably just think
Speaker 1: that I'm dumb. No, No, I'm just I'm just paying attention.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, because when people don't catch it,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, do you not know I'm wrong? Or
Speaker 1: do you? It is wild that you say it, but
Speaker 1: that you judge people, not judge, not judge. I just
Speaker 1: want to see it. They'll go, hey, wait did she
Speaker 1: did she? I feel like, without being a judge e person,
Speaker 1: I feel like there are instances that are quite small
Speaker 1: that leads you to judge. Yeah, thank you for not
Speaker 1: thinking a judge person. You're very understanding of people and
Speaker 1: like you know why they do stuff. But you're there.
Speaker 1: There are little things that I've seen happen, like, for instance,
Speaker 1: I think you would judge this person. One of the
Speaker 1: reasons that I don't I don't really love love exercise
Speaker 1: bikes is because will you take a peloton? Right? A peloton?
Speaker 1: It's it's classically known. It's like it's like known throughout
Speaker 1: the whole community of like indoor cycling and peloton stuff
Speaker 1: like that. That the shoes are hard to get out
Speaker 1: of the little cages, right, You really gotta twist that
Speaker 1: shoe out, you gotta pull it out. You know, why
Speaker 1: would you need a cage? For a bike that's not
Speaker 1: going anywhere because by locking in the shoe, the special
Speaker 1: shoe that you use for the peloton, you're guaranteed to
Speaker 1: not like slip off or anything. Yeah, there's special shoes.
Speaker 1: So those things are very hard to get out of it.
Speaker 1: So I know of a person who, um was trying
Speaker 1: to like really get out of them, like wiggle out
Speaker 1: and everything, but their feet were stuck. They're also very
Speaker 1: tired from the ride that they just had, and so
Speaker 1: then they fell they like stood up but fell backwards
Speaker 1: and fell off the bike backwards, and so now their
Speaker 1: feet just locked in. Like now they're now someone has
Speaker 1: to come find though, like now they're at it. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: I was talking with Logan about this because I was like,
Speaker 1: what do you do with that situation? And Logan is
Speaker 1: who Logan is my buddy. Um, Logan and I do
Speaker 1: the Josh Johnson Show together, and the Joshjohnson Show is
Speaker 1: what it's my podcast. I do this be promote ting
Speaker 1: Jock Johnson has another podcast, Josh Sjohnson Show. I hope
Speaker 1: we don't cut this out. I hope we don't cut
Speaker 1: out the promotion for my friend Jared Listen. We can
Speaker 1: promote other things. Well, we can do commercial breaks and
Speaker 1: drops and ship So I understand how nicest to ride
Speaker 1: a bike. Listen, I was on a date on a bike, Uh,
Speaker 1: I think, and then I think after that, did dude
Speaker 1: my just about credit card information? But that's neither here
Speaker 1: north there. So I was on a date on a
Speaker 1: bike through Central Park and I was talking to one
Speaker 1: of my friends about it, and she was like, you
Speaker 1: went to get ice cream and then you want to
Speaker 1: bike through such a park on this day. She's like, bitch,
Speaker 1: you want to Drew Barrymore date where you on? And
Speaker 1: I was like, It's a great real rom com date
Speaker 1: that I was on. But I never saw that man again.
Speaker 1: One of the reasons that he had duck teeth. The
Speaker 1: second reason thinking about some card, but that's not that's
Speaker 1: not how do you how do you think a person
Speaker 1: stow your credit card where they're not charges that recognized
Speaker 1: it stays Because my my card company sent me a
Speaker 1: new car like out of nowhere, and like I remember,
Speaker 1: like I was buying something. We were on the day
Speaker 1: and I handed somebody in my card and then I
Speaker 1: started and signed for it on a package. This was
Speaker 1: like you know, this was the summer or of like
Speaker 1: we were just like starightly slowly, have you got to
Speaker 1: do everything outside? And I remember I'm saying to me,
Speaker 1: does that always say you sign your name? And I
Speaker 1: was like, what, ye? You know your birthday is such
Speaker 1: an interesting number? Is it also your pen right? And
Speaker 1: then like literally like a month later, I got a
Speaker 1: new card and I was like, what the fuck? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean maybe he stole your cred garden. Now now
Speaker 1: I understand how it's maybe, you know, right and so,
Speaker 1: but always was like that was my fault with trusting
Speaker 1: the nigga with duck teeth, that's my fault. I mean, so,
Speaker 1: I I guess you and I know you want to
Speaker 1: know what duck teeth are. But you're like, we don't
Speaker 1: have time to go through this. We we don't. We
Speaker 1: have to wrap up, which is a shame because I
Speaker 1: feel like we've covered a lot of ground, almost as
Speaker 1: if we were a bike outside, right and so, like
Speaker 1: I was riding through Central Park and there were so
Speaker 1: many bikes and then I was an electric part. I
Speaker 1: was just like so very much like a girl on
Speaker 1: a date that have been on a bike since the
Speaker 1: fucking Clinton administration. Um, because that's how old I am. Uh,
Speaker 1: don't worry. I was in high school in the nineties.
Speaker 1: When I was in school in nineties, shut up. So
Speaker 1: I uh, riding a bike in a park is nice,
Speaker 1: right because there are no cars, the ground is even,
Speaker 1: you're not climbing up, you're not trying to go up
Speaker 1: a mountain. There's no bike jumps, they're not doing this BMX,
Speaker 1: Extreme Sports, X Games Ship because like, all those bike
Speaker 1: tricks and things are really cool. Lowrider bikes very cool.
Speaker 1: But like I think, for me, if you can give
Speaker 1: me a bike in a controlled situation, like a bike
Speaker 1: where I'm not gonna be I'm not facing all of
Speaker 1: these road hazards, there's no loose gravel, all of these things.
Speaker 1: If you could give me just the nice, coldest act
Speaker 1: or maybe like uh an indoor track, even an outdoor
Speaker 1: track that's something, or a nice park, but something where
Speaker 1: I'm not dealing with like the hazards of being on
Speaker 1: a bike. I'd be on a bike outside. The problem
Speaker 1: is most of the time people are on blanks. As
Speaker 1: an adult, you're not in that situation if the whole
Speaker 1: city is trying to kill you in any way that
Speaker 1: it can. So maybe other cities aren't trying to kill people,
Speaker 1: but New York is definitely like New York is a
Speaker 1: lake linear of cities, it's always trying to kill somebody.
Speaker 1: So I guess we've come to a slight consensus. You're
Speaker 1: into exercise bikes mostly because of the controlled environment, but
Speaker 1: if you get the right conditions outside, you'll go for
Speaker 1: a regular bike ride. If you give me park, I'm
Speaker 1: like a nice day and a helmet and a face shield,
Speaker 1: I get out a bike, got you, got you? I
Speaker 1: like me like being outside and the bike is nice,
Speaker 1: But like, there's too many ways that die on a bike,
Speaker 1: And I can concede that an exercise bike inside is
Speaker 1: better for tracking progress and making sure you're keeping pace,
Speaker 1: because when you get tired on a bike outside and
Speaker 1: you're doing it for exercise, you just give yourself that
Speaker 1: little bit to slow down. But on an exercise bike,
Speaker 1: when you're on like a peloton, you can tell that
Speaker 1: you're dipping in your cadence, you know. Plus the other
Speaker 1: thing is it's like, if you're on a bike outside
Speaker 1: for exercise, you're traveling a distance. So like if you
Speaker 1: go five miles from your house and now you're tired,
Speaker 1: How are you gonna get back to your house? I mean,
Speaker 1: you're daring yourself with every pedal that you you can
Speaker 1: make it back. Because it's like now you gotta get
Speaker 1: an excel uber or put your bike on a bus
Speaker 1: or a train. Yeah, enjoyed by the way, No one's
Speaker 1: gonna end. When you're on the bus or train with
Speaker 1: somebody with a bike and their bike is just bumping
Speaker 1: into people and rolling over people's feet, You're like, they
Speaker 1: don't know how to ride a bike. No, and they're
Speaker 1: probably just tired. I get that they're just tired from
Speaker 1: cycling as much as they've been cycling. But another part
Speaker 1: of you is like you have a bike. It's like
Speaker 1: being on the train in your car and you have
Speaker 1: a means of transportation. What are you doing now you
Speaker 1: have other wheels? Why are you on these wheels? Get
Speaker 1: off these wheels. I don't have those wheels. I have
Speaker 1: these wheels. Get off these wheels. It does make sense. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's because I we have those tiny bikes that you
Speaker 1: can like fold up, you can bring them on the
Speaker 1: train with you. But then when you you see a
Speaker 1: grown man on one of those, I'm just like, you're
Speaker 1: not comfortable I'm not comfortable seeing you, seeing you on
Speaker 1: this bike. There's the way you're comfortable on this like
Speaker 1: so now there's really nothing to do but to give
Speaker 1: it to you the listener. To let us know in
Speaker 1: the comments, let us know in your writings. Uh, how
Speaker 1: do you feel exercise bike versus biking outside? Just regular
Speaker 1: you know, cycling in the world with nature. We appreciate
Speaker 1: you listening very much. I'm Jo and I'm do say Sloan,
Speaker 1: and we're here with hold Up. We're here every week
Speaker 1: and we look forward to holding you up in the future. Alright,
Speaker 1: p Jack Knight, we love you. Listen to hold Up
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcast and watch the video version
Speaker 1: at Daily show dot com backslash hold Up. This has
Speaker 1: been a Comedy Central podcast.