1 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, we're back. 2 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,919 Speaker 2: We're black, we're brown and ambiton. 3 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 3: Hey manma come through baritone the lower register. Well, we 4 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 3: are praying that your internet let us do this episode, 5 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 3: come on Optimum. 6 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 1: I just I don't know what to do, honestly, I 7 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 1: uh ba fam if you because where I live in Newark, 8 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: they're literally the only game in town. And for some reason, 9 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 1: it's just been going in and out. I literally bought 10 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: a brand new router, a brand new modem, all the 11 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: things I've had tech come out three times, I've tweeted, 12 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do? 13 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 3: You know, and this is a social justice is you? 14 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 3: It is a humanitarian crisis. It is a civil rights issue. 15 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 3: We need our internet. 16 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I just you know, we need especially now more 17 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: than ever we did our internet. So I'm honestly, I 18 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,320 Speaker 1: don't I'm not sure like what to do. I mean, 19 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: I'm gonna call them again and be like, uh please, 20 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 1: somebody something so we shall see. 21 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 2: So have you been Oh. 22 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,399 Speaker 4: I've been great. 23 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 3: I just celebrated my five months of being a freelancer, 24 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 3: being an entrepreneur, which is cool. Ways already, I know, 25 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 3: I was doing the math and I was like, surely 26 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 3: not five months of having a human took a lot 27 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:40,039 Speaker 3: longer than five months of being an entrepreneur. Yeah, five 28 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,639 Speaker 3: whole months. And I have a I have a meeting 29 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 3: with Well, Me and husby have a session with my 30 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 3: dear dear financial planner Helen tomorrow too. And it's our 31 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 3: first call since the call we had when she was like, 32 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 3: you should just go independent, and I said, you make 33 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 3: it sound so easy, and then I did it. So 34 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 3: it's kind of a touch base. And you know, I 35 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 3: don't know what we're going to talk about in particular, 36 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 3: but she'll probably want to look at my cash flow 37 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 3: and how things are going, and I'm. 38 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's been. 39 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 3: It's been a good I kind of was like into 40 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 3: my fields last night about it because I feel like 41 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 3: I've done really damn well for five half in business. 42 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 2: First of all, you were number one trending on CNBC. Okay, yeah, 43 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:22,920 Speaker 2: I still got it. 44 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,840 Speaker 1: A yeah, I was out of the girl. It's so crazy. 45 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: My friend Cabrel texts me. He was like, isn't this 46 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,959 Speaker 1: your friend, Mandy, She's on my phone. 47 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 4: No. 48 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 3: I feel like the little kid's sister who goes to 49 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 3: college after their big sister who was like Valedictorian. Yeah, 50 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,959 Speaker 3: it's been really freakin fantastic and I have Yeah, so 51 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 3: I'm excited to talk to Helen. And I've just been 52 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 3: kind of I'm kind of approaching my whole business kind 53 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 3: of quarterly, and my first quarter was like is this 54 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 3: even a thing? And it definitely is. So for the 55 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 3: last few months of this year, I'm actually trying to 56 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,360 Speaker 3: slow slow down. I'm trying to take in less work 57 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 3: because it's been like just pouring in and actually focus 58 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 3: on investing time into something that hopefully will pay off. 59 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 3: But I have to really spend the time to do 60 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 3: it and then hopefully I can launch it towards the 61 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:22,359 Speaker 3: end of the year. So big things popping. But it's 62 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 3: been a fun ride. What about you. 63 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 2: Honestly, it's been like it's been really good over here. 64 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: I mean we have been I've been making the transition 65 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 1: from like, you know, I don't know, a personality brand. 66 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: I mean we always I've always had like a business 67 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 1: behind the scenes, but we had some real opportunities to 68 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: like quadruple business. 69 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 2: If we buckle down and do the necessary work. 70 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: So like we're totally overhauling the Literature Academy and as 71 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: a result, if we do like I we always do 72 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: projections for the year, like we should be you know, 73 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: like potentially just under twenty million dollars next year and 74 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: then fifty in the next three years if we do 75 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: what we're supposed to do. But none of that is 76 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: like instagrammables, you know what I mean, Like I had 77 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: to the transition for me has been difficult in reminding 78 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: myself like although you know, social media and things can 79 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: be fun, that I have to be mindful that, you know, 80 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: I want to put things in place where you know, 81 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: I all this work has been for something, you know 82 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: what I mean. So just making those transitions, they are 83 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,919 Speaker 1: like a lot of behind the scene things that have 84 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,480 Speaker 1: nothing to do with like you know, external stuff that 85 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: like we're really putting into place and buckling down to 86 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: be like a business business business, and so it's just exciting. Yeah, 87 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: And so that's what's been happening. It's just been a 88 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: lot of We've been a lot of growing up in business. 89 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 1: Like so I can literally feel like, oh, this is 90 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:47,840 Speaker 1: the next level for us. 91 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,359 Speaker 2: So so yeah. 92 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 3: But I know we have what is that I just 93 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 3: wanted to share. There's this quote that we actually shared 94 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 3: on our social from MICHAELA. Coles. She was the woman 95 00:04:56,279 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 3: who just won an Emmy. I think she was the 96 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 3: first black woman or a black person ever to win 97 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 3: an Emmy for writing of a series. She wrote the 98 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 3: series This May Destroy You, And one of her viral 99 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 3: quotes from that acceptance speech was, do not be afraid 100 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 3: to disappear from it, from us for a while and 101 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:16,039 Speaker 3: see what comes to you in the silence. And she 102 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 3: really was speaking to like, get the f off social 103 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 3: media and go do the damn thing. 104 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,480 Speaker 1: So I'm telling you what I tell you, Like that's 105 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,480 Speaker 1: six weeks away that I took and then consequently not 106 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 1: coming back to social media like full time. I have 107 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: not been really back. I took all the apps off 108 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,279 Speaker 1: my phone. I only put it on when I go live. 109 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: Then I take them off again and I let the 110 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:38,480 Speaker 1: team do their posting. It has done more for business 111 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:43,160 Speaker 1: for me than anything else. And so I encourage people 112 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: to take a moment. Don't get me wrong, Like our 113 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: engagement is not as high as it was. But I 114 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: had to tell my team today honestly, I don't care because. 115 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,719 Speaker 2: That doesn't pay the bills, you know what I mean? 116 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:59,039 Speaker 1: Like it does it not in a concrete way like 117 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,599 Speaker 1: what we're going to be able to do as a 118 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 1: result of the choices that we're making now. It is 119 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,359 Speaker 1: transformative for my team, it is transformative for the women 120 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,840 Speaker 1: that we serve. It's transformative for myself and my family. 121 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: It's transformative for our community. It's just like the things 122 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: that we're doing now because we have the space to 123 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 1: do it. I'm just excited about It's just the next 124 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: phase of business. Like you know, we're officially going to 125 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: go from small to medium sized business to like a 126 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 1: business business. Like you know, we we have the potential 127 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 1: to be nine figures, you know, if we focus, which 128 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 1: we are. And so yeah, don't be afraid to take 129 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 1: the step back. Everything is not social medium, you know. 130 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: Once you learn that you don't need the external applause, 131 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,359 Speaker 1: you know, then you can navigate differently and navigat in 132 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: a way that's more meaningful. 133 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 3: Absolutely. Well, I'm excited for you. I know all the 134 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 3: hard work you're doing in the background. Well no, I don't, 135 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 3: cause you keep it under wraps. But anyway, I know 136 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 3: you're out there working and walking and listening to your 137 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 3: audio books and getting the damn thing done. 138 00:06:58,560 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 4: Well. 139 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:02,279 Speaker 1: We have speaking of books, we have an exciting guest today. 140 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, so you met our guest today, Christine Platt, at 141 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,279 Speaker 3: a book signing, because you know, that's just how a 142 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 3: normal tuesday for you, signing your best selling book. But no, 143 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 3: I'm so excited because Christine Platt is our guest today 144 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 3: and she is called the Afro Minimalist, and her new 145 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 3: book is literally a blueprint for anyone looking to cut 146 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 3: back on the things that we are over consuming, you know, 147 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 3: letting pile up in our homes, in our spaces that 148 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 3: are just stifling us and stifling our growth. And she's 149 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 3: got some really fun gems to share. 150 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, so you guys are gonna enjoy Christine. 151 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 3: Well, shall we take a little breaky break, and we'll 152 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 3: come back with our guest today, Christine, And definitely check 153 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 3: the show notes and you can find where to follow her, 154 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 3: where to get her book again, The Afrominimalist, and how 155 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 3: to catch up on all of her amazing advice. 156 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: We told you we were coming back with somebody amazing 157 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: we have with us, Christine Platt, a k a. The 158 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 1: Afro Minimalists. Okay, Oh you didn't know black people could 159 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: be minimalists? Oh you know, yeah, everybody, everybody doesn't want 160 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,679 Speaker 1: the you know, the Grandma field House with the plastic 161 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: furniture and the chachkis everywhere. 162 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 2: Some people, you know, they thrive with lesson. 163 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: Yes, So I just so you like, I met Christine 164 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: in person anyway, for the first time at Mahogany Books, 165 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: and that is National Harbor. 166 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 2: Christine, is that DC or is that Maryland? 167 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 4: Is technically oxen Hill, Maryland, but you know we claim 168 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 4: it in DC. 169 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: So and so we met at this amazing black bookstore 170 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: called Mohockey Books. They were having a book bookstore opening. 171 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 1: Shout out to Ramanda and your amazing husband. It just 172 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 1: we just really clicked and we just got to talking. 173 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,000 Speaker 1: And now I was like, you need to come on 174 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: the podcast, and yeah, you know. 175 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,959 Speaker 4: I'm so happy to be here. Thank you both for 176 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 4: having me. I'm so excited. 177 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 3: Absolutely, I'm excited to meet you too. And I think 178 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 3: even just Tiffany when she came back from that book 179 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 3: signing that y'all did together, she was just gushing about you. 180 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,880 Speaker 3: And then we couldn't stop talking about the connection between 181 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 3: your idea of afrominimalism and minimalism in general and how 182 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:26,680 Speaker 3: it relates to finances. So I would love to just 183 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 3: have you describe or like define what do you mean 184 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,319 Speaker 3: by afrominimalism. And for those of you who haven't ever 185 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 3: seen Christine, she's literally like a minimalist with no afro, 186 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:39,679 Speaker 3: just a delightful you have a perfectly shaped head for 187 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:44,160 Speaker 3: the shape dome you beautiful. But tell us something. 188 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 4: It's a teeny weeny afro. Okay, it's there, microfro, yes, microfro, 189 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 4: minimalist fro. Yeah it was. It was wonderful meeting Tiffany 190 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 4: in person at Mahogany Books, and I think it's I 191 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 4: just want to shout us both. We are both number 192 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 4: one and number two in sales at that store. So 193 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 4: I think it speaks volumes to you know, people's interest 194 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 4: in finances and you know their over consumption right now. Uh, afrominimalism, 195 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 4: it's really just my approach to minimalism, which is a 196 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:23,560 Speaker 4: minimalist lifestyle influenced by the African diaspora. I am a 197 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 4: historian and lawyer by trade, and you know the history 198 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 4: of black folks is really important to me. I love 199 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 4: the beauty and culture of the African diaspora, and so 200 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 4: I weave that into my approach to minimalism, which at 201 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 4: the time, so this is about five years ago when 202 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 4: I first like really honed in on this approach, it 203 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 4: was very unconventional, right. I think people think of minimalism 204 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:56,440 Speaker 4: number one, it evokes this idea of scarcity and lack, right, 205 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 4: But even more than that, it's devoid of color, it's 206 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 4: devoid of texture, it's devoid of culture. 207 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,960 Speaker 2: Right. Yeah. 208 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like super Scandinavian and we are like not 209 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 4: in most of us are not in, you know, in 210 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 4: a country where you know that particular aesthetic. The reason 211 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 4: it works for you know, for for Scandinavian folks is 212 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 4: because they don't get a lot of sunlight, and so 213 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 4: they need a lot of light colors, a lot of 214 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 4: white walls to reflect light. 215 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 2: Right. 216 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 4: But yeah, and so you know, mainstream minimalism has sort 217 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 4: of taken on this aesthetic of you know, of just 218 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 4: being all white and barren, and I just really wanted 219 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 4: to to change the conversation around that, and so and 220 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 4: so here I am the afrominimalist. I wrote a book 221 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,839 Speaker 4: to try and encourage folks to live with less and 222 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,719 Speaker 4: that you know, I saw so many benefits and I 223 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,680 Speaker 4: would say, like right out the gate the first benefit 224 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 4: that I saw where it was in my wallet, Right, 225 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,199 Speaker 4: I was like, where's all this money coming from? Like, oh, 226 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 4: I'm not at the mall uh every weekend. And so yeah, 227 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:13,439 Speaker 4: it's been very transformative for me and very exciting to 228 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 4: just see other people, you know, really embracing this and 229 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 4: really thinking about, you know, how can they live with 230 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 4: less their way? If the word minimalism, you know, if 231 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 4: it does evoke some negative feelings or you know, ideas 232 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 4: of scarcity, you don't have to be a minimalist. You 233 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,599 Speaker 4: can live with less, you can be a more mindful consumer. 234 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 4: There are so many other ways to define this lifestyle 235 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,840 Speaker 4: that that isn't so limiting for a lot of people. 236 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: So if I was somebody I'm listening and I'm just like, 237 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,839 Speaker 1: you're right, I probably never thought of myself a person 238 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:49,280 Speaker 1: of color, you know, enjoying the minimalist lifestyle, you know, 239 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 1: because you know, I want some texture. I want some 240 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 1: color and some deep hues. So if I am like, oh, huh, 241 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: aside from getting your books, okay, everywhere, aside from getting 242 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 1: your book, what's like the first thing where I can 243 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: start where it doesn't feel so overwhelming? 244 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 4: Yes, Okay, So this is. I'm so glad you asked 245 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 4: that question, because so many people picked up the book 246 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,440 Speaker 4: and they were like, I had my garbage bags ready, 247 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:22,880 Speaker 4: I wasn't ready for the gentle dragging that happened. I 248 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 4: really encourage people to first learn about the psychology of 249 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:30,680 Speaker 4: ownership before they even start to try and declutter. Right, 250 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,679 Speaker 4: So this is where you hear so many people say, 251 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,320 Speaker 4: I've tried this before and it didn't work. I've tried 252 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 4: this before and it didn't work. And that's because they 253 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:40,960 Speaker 4: didn't get to the root causes of their over consumption. Right. 254 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,160 Speaker 4: So much of this is inner work right before you 255 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 4: do the outer work. And I know even when it 256 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 4: comes to finances that that's the same sort of approach 257 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 4: for me. Right, it's like why am I so afraid to, 258 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,120 Speaker 4: you know, make this call or manage my money this way, 259 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,080 Speaker 4: or learn about that right, Like, there's usually some root 260 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 4: cause that is really the reason what I call like 261 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 4: the why behind the buy or the why behind the spend. Right, 262 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 4: Because if you don't do the inner work, if you 263 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:16,800 Speaker 4: don't understand the psychology of ownership, specifically as it relates 264 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 4: to you and your spending habits, you're just gonna declutter 265 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 4: and find yourself back at square one. So when I 266 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 4: talk about the psychology of ownership, that means first of all, 267 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 4: understanding why you have so much more than you need, 268 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 4: and then secondly understanding why it's so hard to let go, right, 269 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 4: because we all have attachments to things and getting to 270 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,080 Speaker 4: the root cause of like why am I so attached, 271 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 4: you know, to this piece? So that's where you can start. 272 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 3: You mentioned the diaspora, I mean, are like have you 273 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 3: found in your research or in your book? Do you 274 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,520 Speaker 3: do you examine how? Because I mean I think anecdotally. 275 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 3: I just visited my aunt Brenda, and I don't the 276 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,760 Speaker 3: things that she saves, I just don't know. I just 277 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 3: don't understand. I mean, dusty old toys. And she had 278 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 3: like an old Barbie doll that was a cowboy from 279 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 3: maybe nineteen ninety seven or something like that. Anyway, and 280 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,440 Speaker 3: it wasn't even a black Barbie doll. That was nothing. 281 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 3: But what is this something that black households or African 282 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 3: American households are just more inclined to hang on to things? 283 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 3: Was it? 284 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 4: You know? You know, that's a that's a good question. 285 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 4: So I think it's twofold, right, So when we talk 286 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 4: about people of the diaspora, particularly particularly African Americans, right, 287 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,480 Speaker 4: so many of us are first time everything, right, first 288 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 4: time homeowners, first time six figure income owners, first you know, 289 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 4: first one in our you know, in our family to 290 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 4: have an opportunity to own a business. Right. So many 291 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 4: of us are first time so many things. And what 292 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,560 Speaker 4: happens is that we don't have that sort of generational 293 00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 4: knowledge and awareness that comes when you're not first gen Right. 294 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 4: The second thing is like, we just have a completely 295 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 4: different relationship with ownership. It's just a fact, right, So 296 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 4: many of us it is the first time we're able 297 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 4: to acquire a lot of things. And I find that 298 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,800 Speaker 4: in particularly Black families, right, it really goes back to 299 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 4: our childhood. It really grows goes back to if you 300 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 4: grew up with scarcity, right, or if you grew up 301 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 4: you know, not being able to have certain things. And 302 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 4: a lot of those promises that we make to ourselves, 303 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 4: make to ourselves as children, we are very committed to 304 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 4: as adults. 305 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 2: Right. 306 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 4: One of the examples that I provide in the book 307 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,840 Speaker 4: is actually my ex husband, who is a huge sneaker head, 308 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 4: and he shared how when he was in high school 309 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 4: his family would not, you know, like most black families 310 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 4: could not afford the first pair of Jordan's, and instead 311 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 4: his parents bought him a pair of knockoffs. I did laugh, 312 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie because the silhouette of Michael Jordan, 313 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 4: there was another person like blocking Michael Jordan, and I 314 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 4: just thought about, like how horrible the teasing was. He 315 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,159 Speaker 4: said it was relentless, and he made a promise to 316 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,280 Speaker 4: himself when he got older that he was going to 317 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 4: buy however many pairs of sneakers he wanted, and he 318 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 4: counted and like the majority, let's say there were like 319 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:36,199 Speaker 4: sixty pairs, forty two of them were Jordan's, right, So 320 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 4: like getting to that root cause. And then I also 321 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 4: want people to think about Mandy the idea that it's 322 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,720 Speaker 4: not just you know, we think shoes, we think purses, 323 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 4: we think handbags, but it impacts us in so many 324 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 4: different ways. My friend's husband when he washes the dishes, 325 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:57,399 Speaker 4: he likes to use a lot of dishes that like 326 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,760 Speaker 4: the bubbles are overflowing out of the sink. And I would, 327 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,440 Speaker 4: you know, if my friend would complain to me, and 328 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,840 Speaker 4: I'd be like the girl he is washing the dishes 329 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 4: I don't understand why you complaining about these bubbles. And 330 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 4: she would just say, like, Christina is just so annoying, 331 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 4: and I just don't understand why he does it. And 332 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 4: I said, whatever you have? You ever asked him? And 333 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,719 Speaker 4: she asked him, And you know what. He grew up 334 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 4: in the South, very poor, was raised by his grandmother. 335 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:28,640 Speaker 4: Basically everything they purchased came from the dollar store, including 336 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 4: dish soap, and even then he could only use one drop. 337 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 4: And he told her, now that he's older and they 338 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 4: have the resources and means to buy whatever they want, 339 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 4: he buys the most expensive dish soap and he uses 340 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,720 Speaker 4: as much as he wants, and he finally puts his bubbles. 341 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,760 Speaker 3: I was going to guess that it was because, you know, 342 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,680 Speaker 3: if you're broke, you take that one little inch left 343 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,680 Speaker 3: over of the don dish soap and you add water water. 344 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,160 Speaker 3: You need a bunch of homes, listen. 345 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 4: I mean when I don't, Oh my god, this is 346 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 4: Tiffany hate yo. 347 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:05,200 Speaker 2: He hates it. He's always like, babe, we have soap. 348 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 2: I'm like wasted just a little. 349 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 4: I know, you know it is so you know, it 350 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 4: is so funny, Tiffany. I use a solid dish soap. 351 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 4: Because of course minimalism, you keep finding other ways, right, 352 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,680 Speaker 4: like you start with your closet and then it transitions 353 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 4: into every air of your life. And even with the 354 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,199 Speaker 4: solid soap, it comes in a little tin, you know, 355 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 4: like there'll be some water in there, and I'm like, oh, 356 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 4: let me just that's extra dish soap, Like I I don't, 357 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 4: I don't know what it is. But you know, if 358 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 4: I think back to my childhood, you know, even if 359 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,320 Speaker 4: it wasn't dollar store dish soap, the dish soap that 360 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 4: we did use, it was like for dishes, it was 361 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:42,440 Speaker 4: bubble bath. 362 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,320 Speaker 3: It was it wasn't bubbled back. 363 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 1: I get hand soap in the My husband, Hey, he said, 364 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 1: did you put the hand soap in the or the 365 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 1: dish shap in the in the in the the hand 366 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,680 Speaker 1: like so if you go on my half bath, if 367 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 1: if I'm like, where's I will put? I will squeeze 368 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,920 Speaker 1: the dawn dish soap that when I tell you, Superman, 369 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,000 Speaker 1: is this why black. 370 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 3: People were so ashy? Because we're secretly using don dish. 371 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 2: So clean hands or not? 372 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 4: You know what? I love that we're having this conversation 373 00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 4: because we don't think back to how our childhood and 374 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,959 Speaker 4: the things that we you know, we're accustomed to, like 375 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:28,960 Speaker 4: Mandy saying like, no, y'all didn't use just Mandy, I'm 376 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,960 Speaker 4: telling you it was it was it was bubble It 377 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,119 Speaker 4: was bubble bath, right. And you know I am also 378 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 4: of the generation, and you have to think just age wise, 379 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,679 Speaker 4: we we're not that far apart in age. They still 380 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,959 Speaker 4: you know, like if there were four kids, like no 381 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 4: one was changing the bath water. M m hmm. You 382 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,200 Speaker 4: see what I'm saying. So like if you come from 383 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 4: you know, that's sort of even if it doesn't feel 384 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,639 Speaker 4: because it didn't feel like scarcity when we were younger. 385 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,920 Speaker 4: It was just like, oh, it's a bubble bath, right, 386 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 4: But then you grow up and you're like, oh, they 387 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 4: make actual bubble back. So I didn't know, right, Like. 388 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 3: You know, kind of a jerk sometimes laughing at my 389 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,639 Speaker 3: aunt when she like saves the wet paper towel after 390 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,560 Speaker 3: she WAPs something up, and she just. 391 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,439 Speaker 2: Like, girl, I did not know. 392 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,479 Speaker 1: We people threw away the foil pants because we had 393 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 1: to wash them out as kids, like you know, Thanksgiving, 394 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:24,200 Speaker 1: the foil pants, Like we washed them out and you 395 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,159 Speaker 1: use them until they got to be too disfigured, and 396 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,359 Speaker 1: I'm like, so dressed on me. My husband's on me 397 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: washing it, and he's like, why are you washing out 398 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: the four pants? 399 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 2: I'm like, you these are expensive? 400 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 4: Yeah? 401 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:35,800 Speaker 2: What are two more uses? 402 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 4: Yeah? But you know what, Mandy, I love that you 403 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,439 Speaker 4: brought that up about your aunt, because so much of 404 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 4: this is also generational, right, And so I like to 405 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 4: tell people too, to think about not only what you 406 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 4: grew up experiencing, but thinking about what your parents experience. 407 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,200 Speaker 4: So for my for example, my mom was born after 408 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 4: the Great Depression, shortly after the Great Depression. So even 409 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:04,040 Speaker 4: though she didn't experience food scarcity to the extent that 410 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 4: you know her, her family did, who were alive during 411 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:11,600 Speaker 4: that time. It certainly impacted how they raised her. And 412 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 4: so even though I did not grow up with food 413 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:19,000 Speaker 4: and security, I grew up feeling very, very obligated to 414 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:23,760 Speaker 4: clean my plate. Right even today, even if I know 415 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,160 Speaker 4: good and well, I'm not going to take those I'm 416 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 4: not going to eat those leftovers when I get home. 417 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,479 Speaker 4: I still I can't throw it away, you know what 418 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,960 Speaker 4: I mean, I'm like, who can eat this? Who can? Right? 419 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:39,080 Speaker 4: And so like thinking about generationally right, folks who were 420 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:42,879 Speaker 4: born after the Great Depression or had family members you know, 421 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 4: who raised them shortly after that time. Are they are 422 00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 4: real different when it comes to consumption. They are either 423 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,119 Speaker 4: over consumers right because they grew up hearing stories you 424 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 4: never know what's going to happen. Live for today because 425 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 4: tomorrow wein promised, right, or they are extreme quarters they 426 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 4: are reusing the paper towels. My mom doesn't even drink 427 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 4: caffeinated coffee if she is here, which, by the way, 428 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:14,800 Speaker 4: I don't know why decaf is even a thing, but whatever. Siously, 429 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,919 Speaker 4: But if she's here and I have just a little 430 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,400 Speaker 4: bit of you know, caf, and I go to no, no, no, 431 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 4: don't throw that down the drain, I'm like, Mommy, you 432 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 4: don't even you know, I don't waste it. Don't waste it? Right, 433 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 4: So you also have to think generationally and. 434 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,800 Speaker 3: Be more empathetic to them. And yeah, so I can't 435 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,200 Speaker 3: make fun of my dad for why he has a 436 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,960 Speaker 3: Samuraid sword and a popcorn machine that doesn't work in 437 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 3: his living room. I can't do that anymore. 438 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:41,720 Speaker 4: Is that what I'm saying. I don't. I don't think 439 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,080 Speaker 4: you should make fun. 440 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 3: And part of my identity. 441 00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: I don't think the big TV's little TV doesn't work anymore. 442 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,680 Speaker 2: Remember I'm back in the day you have the big 443 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,879 Speaker 2: TV on the little TV, the little bit TV. It 444 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:52,479 Speaker 2: don't work no more. 445 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 1: But we're not ready to throw it out because you 446 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: never know, you might fix it. 447 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,960 Speaker 3: It's funny to make fun of our elders. But let's 448 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 3: talk about the modern you know, millennials of today or 449 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,239 Speaker 3: gen Z. What are you finding because I imagine you get 450 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 3: stories from so many people and you mentioned your ex's 451 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 3: sneaker addiction. I actually hoard. I was just making a 452 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,520 Speaker 3: joke about hoarding things that I save to my desktop. 453 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,159 Speaker 3: I just don't want to delete them, and so my 454 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 3: desktops cluttered. But like, what are the modern ways you find? 455 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 3: You know, our generation is you're seeing these trends kind 456 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,640 Speaker 3: of manifest the sense of scarcity and how it can 457 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 3: potentially harm us. 458 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, you know it again. It also it goes two ways, right, 459 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,360 Speaker 4: I see a lot of folks in your generation really 460 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,360 Speaker 4: not wanting to repeat some of the decisions. And I'm 461 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,040 Speaker 4: trying trying to be very mindful with language because I 462 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,480 Speaker 4: don't like to call things mistakes or wrongdoings. Right, these 463 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:49,880 Speaker 4: are decisions and choices that they experienced, you know, growing up, 464 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:52,720 Speaker 4: that they do not want to replicate, and so I 465 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 4: see them being very intentional not to do that. I 466 00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,919 Speaker 4: also see a lot of folks in your generation who 467 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,439 Speaker 4: are also for gen right, and so they are buying 468 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 4: all the things, and they are you know, really trying 469 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:09,800 Speaker 4: to you know, subscribe to conspicuous consumption. I have to 470 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,879 Speaker 4: have this thing that was in this Instagram ad or 471 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 4: I have to have this because it is a status symbol, right. 472 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:20,159 Speaker 4: And then what I'm finding, you know, with with some 473 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,359 Speaker 4: of their parents and older folks, is you know this 474 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:27,880 Speaker 4: idea that hey, I didn't I wasn't even aware of 475 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:32,679 Speaker 4: my consumption to that level. And I don't want my 476 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,639 Speaker 4: uh you know, descendants, so your generation, Mandy, to have 477 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 4: inherited clutter. So I'm you know, and. 478 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,639 Speaker 3: You say with that, in fact, I'm pretty sure the 479 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 3: key to his storage unit is in his will for me, 480 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,320 Speaker 3: and that is my that is what I'm going to 481 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:53,480 Speaker 3: be bequeathed. I would be, but you know what, I 482 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,920 Speaker 3: am the heir to a storage a storage facility in Atlanta. 483 00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 2: Are you fancy? 484 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,879 Speaker 3: I hate it for you, Mandy, And honestly, like I wait. 485 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,560 Speaker 4: I do encourage I do encourage folks in your generation 486 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 4: to have these conversations with their elders, right, because right 487 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,120 Speaker 4: now we can laugh about it. And I even think 488 00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:16,919 Speaker 4: of some of the things that I have encouraged my 489 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:21,640 Speaker 4: mom to just gently let go. It's time to let go, right. 490 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,080 Speaker 4: I know that it would be that much harder when 491 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,760 Speaker 4: she has transitioned. Right. And so you have a lot 492 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,680 Speaker 4: of people my generation, your generation, who also have an 493 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:36,399 Speaker 4: inherited clutter, and that is even more problematic to do 494 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 4: with me. 495 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,639 Speaker 3: He wants to talk about death and clutter in the 496 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 3: same insurance. Listen, ma'am with your parents, Oh my god, 497 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 3: talk about things I will get hung up on so fast. 498 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,359 Speaker 4: This is why oh no, go ahead. 499 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 2: To no, no, no, no, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. 500 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,840 Speaker 4: No. I was gonna say, this is why that we 501 00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,719 Speaker 4: thank you. This is why, though, we have to have 502 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 4: these conversations, because the first reaction is exactly what your 503 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 4: reaction is, mate. It's like, ooh, I want to talk 504 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:10,159 Speaker 4: about that. I don't want to get cursed out. I 505 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 4: don't want it right, but then be inevitable will happen, right, 506 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,320 Speaker 4: And we're like, where are these papers? Where is that 507 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 4: who's going to take this? What do we do with that? 508 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:22,200 Speaker 2: Right? 509 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:26,280 Speaker 4: And it's much more difficult to do that when you're 510 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 4: in such a state of emotional vulnerability, right. And so 511 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,720 Speaker 4: it's not to say to sit them down at a 512 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 4: coffee table and say, look, I'm not doing this in 513 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,680 Speaker 4: here to clutter with y'all. So we're about you know 514 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,679 Speaker 4: what I mean. I'm not saying have that conversation in 515 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:44,159 Speaker 4: that way, But what I'm saying is making sure that 516 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 4: the people in your family are very much aware of 517 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:52,800 Speaker 4: your position on this, right. And even if you have siblings, right, like, hey, 518 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 4: you know Dad is probably going to leave that storage unit. 519 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 4: I just need y'all to know I will not be 520 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:02,399 Speaker 4: taking anything out of there, right, And so we need 521 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:03,879 Speaker 4: to you know, I just want to give you all 522 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,120 Speaker 4: the heads up on that that when the time comes, 523 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,800 Speaker 4: we get right. There are ways to sort of gently 524 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:14,199 Speaker 4: have these conversations, or at least start these conversations. And 525 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,480 Speaker 4: what I have found is most people, you think there's 526 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:20,080 Speaker 4: going to be a visceral reaction, and there's not. People 527 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 4: are fully aware of their unpreparedness. People are fully aware 528 00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:28,840 Speaker 4: of their clutter. People are fully aware of their poor finances, right, 529 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:36,080 Speaker 4: it's really having someone spark that conversation, spark that inspiration, right, 530 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 4: And I'm sure you all see that all the time, right, 531 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 4: people are like, oh, I didn't even know what to 532 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 4: do about savings until I found y'all. Right, the information 533 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,800 Speaker 4: is out there, but it's hearing it from a source 534 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 4: that is respected, right, a loved one. But these conversations 535 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 4: are inevitably going to happen. 536 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,360 Speaker 1: For someone who's on the edge of like, well, I 537 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 1: think I want to do this, but I want to 538 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 1: get more clarity on what are the benefits, right, especially 539 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:09,240 Speaker 1: for diaspora to participate in minimalism, Like aside from oh, okay, 540 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,440 Speaker 1: there's less stuff in my house, but what truly truly 541 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,120 Speaker 1: are the benefits for us in particular? 542 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:19,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, So, first, because I want to make sure that 543 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:23,080 Speaker 4: people understand getting through that psychology of ownership piece is 544 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:26,040 Speaker 4: like where you start, right, And then I have a 545 00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 4: four step approach that I think anyone can follow at 546 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 4: their own pace, which is step one acknowledging that you 547 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 4: have more than you need. Step two, which is forgiving yourself. 548 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:41,720 Speaker 4: Forgiveness is also not really talked about when it comes 549 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 4: to this type of work. Part three is the letting go, 550 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,720 Speaker 4: which is what we see on television. You can call 551 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,280 Speaker 4: it decluttering, you can call it whatever you want. And 552 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 4: then part four is paying it forward, right with those 553 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 4: things that no longer serve you. And I think one 554 00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 4: of the biggest benefits for me has been having an 555 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:04,040 Speaker 4: opportunity to pay it forward and be smarter with my resources. Right. 556 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,880 Speaker 4: For example, as you all know, my daughter is in college. 557 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:12,960 Speaker 4: I'm super proud, and you know I was first jen. 558 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 4: I had a lot of student loan debt. It was 559 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:20,280 Speaker 4: completely overwhelming. It is unbelievable to me that I am 560 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 4: able to pay her tuition, her room and board, everything 561 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 4: so that she does not have student loan debt. Right, 562 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 4: that is huge, And that is the result of a 563 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 4: decision that I made five years ago, not ten years ago, 564 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:44,080 Speaker 4: not twenty years ago, five years ago. Right. That means 565 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,560 Speaker 4: what are the benefits going to look like in ten years? 566 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 4: But even more so, what are the long term benefits 567 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:54,400 Speaker 4: for my daughter? Right? Of course, as you said, having 568 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 4: less to clean is wonderful, right, having fewer choices to 569 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 4: make in the morning about what you're gonna wear, because 570 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 4: decision fatigue is real, right, Like, that's beneficial right, having 571 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:12,000 Speaker 4: resources to not only invest in building generational wealth and 572 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 4: invest in your children, but also to invest in your community. 573 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:20,360 Speaker 4: I'll give you a quick example. I have two very 574 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:24,120 Speaker 4: dear friends who are writers who do a lot for 575 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:27,240 Speaker 4: our community, that do a lot for our babies. Shout 576 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 4: out to Mahogany Brown and Jason Reynolds. 577 00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 2: A poet. 578 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 4: She is yes, I remember, yes, yes. 579 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 2: I used to go. I was very central. I be 580 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:42,880 Speaker 2: at all the poetry shows that she was one of 581 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:44,040 Speaker 2: my favorite poets. 582 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,440 Speaker 4: Isn't she amazing? She is still out here doing amazing things. 583 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,640 Speaker 4: She is the poet in residence, the first poet in 584 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 4: residence for the Lincoln Center. And I literally have watched 585 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 4: both of them just like spread themselves than doing this work. 586 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 4: And they're is a wonderful organization here in DC called 587 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:09,320 Speaker 4: HOURU Space which offers a weekend of rest and reset 588 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 4: for folks of colors, for folks of color. And what 589 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:19,320 Speaker 4: I did was give them both a stay, right, this 590 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:23,040 Speaker 4: is what they need, and here is an opportunity for 591 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:28,600 Speaker 4: me to invest in this business, invest in my friends. 592 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 4: And also this is like what would I have done 593 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 4: with that back five years ago? I would have used 594 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,440 Speaker 4: that money to purchase a handbag, here's an opportunity for 595 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 4: it to help three lives, right, And so I think 596 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 4: when we think of benefits, to also think beyond ourselves, right, 597 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 4: to think again, even beyond our family and our loved ones, 598 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,960 Speaker 4: think about our community, right, Like, there are so many 599 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:59,000 Speaker 4: like myriad benefits y'all. And it is a lifestyle that 600 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:04,480 Speaker 4: I encourage people to considering and doing it your own way, 601 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:08,320 Speaker 4: right Obviously, Uh, me as a now empty nester, my 602 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,160 Speaker 4: minimalism is going to look totally different than Mandy's. My 603 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,400 Speaker 4: minimalism is going to look totally different than Tiffany's, right, 604 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 4: but doing it in a way that is beneficial to 605 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 4: you and your household and your long term goals. 606 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:23,600 Speaker 3: Do I get a last question? 607 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:24,000 Speaker 4: Yeah? 608 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:28,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, my last question was going to be so for 609 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,640 Speaker 3: me and for people listening. I think even last week 610 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,000 Speaker 3: we had a guest on Deli Ane Boos who we 611 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 3: were talking about, uh, you know, online shopping and how 612 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 3: easy they make it for you to make these impulse 613 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:43,280 Speaker 3: buying you know decisions online. Now you save your credit card, 614 00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,520 Speaker 3: get your face ID. You don't even have to do anything, 615 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,960 Speaker 3: get off the couch to bank a purchase. Do you 616 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,240 Speaker 3: have any rules of thumb or tips for people on 617 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 3: how if you were trying to get a hold on 618 00:33:54,600 --> 00:34:00,920 Speaker 3: unnecessary or overspending or over consumption. Any any tips on 619 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 3: like here's the rule of thumb, or here's a tip 620 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,520 Speaker 3: where you can, you know, ask yourself this before you 621 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,799 Speaker 3: purchase something, or try doing this just to kind of 622 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,680 Speaker 3: come to grip. Yeah, the constant triggers we have. 623 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, so I love to ask that question because I 624 00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 4: have a lot of mantras. I shared one with you earlier, 625 00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:22,120 Speaker 4: which is what's the why behind the by My other 626 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,719 Speaker 4: one though, is it's not a deal if you don't 627 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,920 Speaker 4: need it, and saying that, like when I go to 628 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,000 Speaker 4: pick up something, when I go to put something in 629 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,680 Speaker 4: my cart, right, because it's usually we're enticed by a 630 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,560 Speaker 4: sale or the idea that we're getting a bargain, and 631 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 4: I have to be like, it's not a deal if 632 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,560 Speaker 4: you don't need it, Christine, you know, do not. I 633 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,759 Speaker 4: don't care how it auto populates unsafe all of the 634 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:49,560 Speaker 4: card information. There have been so many times, especially during 635 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,800 Speaker 4: the past year and a half because of the pandemic 636 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:56,439 Speaker 4: we're all in. You know's some emotional vulnerability here, which 637 00:34:56,520 --> 00:35:00,719 Speaker 4: usually can can trigger some of our spending habits. You know, 638 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,239 Speaker 4: there were times I would go to buy something and 639 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 4: because I would have to go to get my wallet, 640 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:07,719 Speaker 4: I would be like, you don't want this, right, Like, 641 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,880 Speaker 4: it's really whatever systems you have to put in place 642 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:17,759 Speaker 4: to pause, because it's usually that pause. Right, you have 643 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,239 Speaker 4: to be very mindful of you know, online it is 644 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:27,600 Speaker 4: very easy, as you said, right, unsubscribed, unsubscribe from all 645 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,919 Speaker 4: of your favorite brands. And you know, like you buy 646 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:36,480 Speaker 4: something renmibition. Ah, yes, no, this is a favorite brand. No, Like, 647 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:40,040 Speaker 4: you know, you purchased something online and it automatically saves 648 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:41,839 Speaker 4: your email and then all of a sudden, the next 649 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,520 Speaker 4: thing you know, you're getting ads all the time, right, 650 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,719 Speaker 4: or here's a new sale and I you know, there's 651 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,879 Speaker 4: always going to be a sale. I have never seen 652 00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,960 Speaker 4: so many, you know, a semi annual sales only supposed 653 00:35:53,960 --> 00:36:01,320 Speaker 4: to happen twice a year, semi y'all just had a 654 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,640 Speaker 4: semi annual sale last month, right, So like this idea 655 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,920 Speaker 4: that you know, and again it goes back to the 656 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,799 Speaker 4: psychology of ownership. We feel like we're gonna miss out. 657 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,239 Speaker 4: We feel like someone else is going to get the deal. 658 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:16,480 Speaker 4: And when we when we touch something, when we hold something, 659 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,480 Speaker 4: all of those things start to trigger partial ownership, and 660 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 4: we become very committed to wanting to have full ownership. 661 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:27,879 Speaker 4: So don't go around touching stuff, Mandy, That's first thing, right, 662 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 4: And when it comes to when it comes to you know, 663 00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:35,080 Speaker 4: your online spending, just try and put some systems in 664 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:39,040 Speaker 4: place that make it harder, that make you pause before 665 00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,359 Speaker 4: you make that purchase and ask yourself, what's the wide 666 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:42,520 Speaker 4: Why am I really buying this? 667 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:47,120 Speaker 3: What's super sid pandemic? I lost my credit cards in 668 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,279 Speaker 3: my wallet during the pandemic. I didn't even need it. 669 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 4: I didn't even need it. 670 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,799 Speaker 3: Because everything we saved it was terrible. Okay, I lied, though. 671 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:57,000 Speaker 3: I have one final final question. How do you stop 672 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,239 Speaker 3: people from giving your kids stuff? Because the problem like 673 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,680 Speaker 3: I literally have relatives who listen to the show and 674 00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:05,640 Speaker 3: I'm talking to you, they know who I'm talking to. 675 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,400 Speaker 3: If you have friends who have kids, they're just so 676 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,080 Speaker 3: happy to give you stuff that ends up being you 677 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,800 Speaker 3: become their donation beIN. And then now I'm on a 678 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,120 Speaker 3: finger out doing with this stuff that I don't do 679 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,799 Speaker 3: what I want, you know what I mean? And then 680 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,759 Speaker 3: it's gifts, Yes. 681 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:24,920 Speaker 4: Go, Mandy, no is your superpower, right, you have to 682 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,800 Speaker 4: just say no. And I you know, I tell people 683 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,840 Speaker 4: all the time because like, my kid has so much stuff, 684 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,440 Speaker 4: and I'm like, do they have a job that I 685 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,839 Speaker 4: don't know about? Right, Like this is coming through you 686 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:36,080 Speaker 4: either you're buying it or you're allowing it into their 687 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:39,000 Speaker 4: lives and they're completely overwhelmed with all of these things. Right. 688 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,960 Speaker 4: You know, once you are firm on that, you have 689 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:45,360 Speaker 4: to be real firm. Might take two or three times. 690 00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:49,319 Speaker 4: People will respect it, Your loved ones will respect it. 691 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,920 Speaker 4: But if you're like oh, and then you still end 692 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,920 Speaker 4: up taking stuff, no one believes you. Right. So also 693 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,040 Speaker 4: when it comes to gifts, I think it's really important 694 00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 4: to think about different ways that we can celebrate those 695 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:07,320 Speaker 4: milestones like birthdays and holidays. Right, the only birthday party 696 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,560 Speaker 4: that my daughter remembers and that she says is her 697 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:14,840 Speaker 4: best birthday party ever in life was her eighth birthday party. 698 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:19,560 Speaker 4: And I was just starting to think about, you know, minimalism. 699 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 4: We just had so much stuff. I couldn't bear the 700 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,360 Speaker 4: idea of bringing another tiny little thing in this house. 701 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,359 Speaker 4: And I remember saying, you know what, instead of gifts, 702 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:32,120 Speaker 4: I'm just gonna have kids bring a canned good and 703 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,239 Speaker 4: we'll just donate it to the food pantry. I had 704 00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:39,640 Speaker 4: this big elaborate moon bounce and carnival set up in 705 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,640 Speaker 4: the backyard, and one can good was supposed to be 706 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:46,279 Speaker 4: their price of admission. Mandy, do you know the night 707 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,920 Speaker 4: before and the morning of, I just started getting all 708 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,480 Speaker 4: of these text messages from parents and they're like, what 709 00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:53,520 Speaker 4: is this again? I thought we were just supposed to 710 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:58,280 Speaker 4: bring one can. My kid is in here raiding the patry. 711 00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:04,239 Speaker 4: They're making us go to the grosser and they are 712 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:08,560 Speaker 4: just naturally naturally giving, right, and we have tons of 713 00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:12,359 Speaker 4: tons of donations. So thinking about different ways and then 714 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:17,720 Speaker 4: lastly encouraging your kids to let go and pay it forward. Now, 715 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,959 Speaker 4: the one caveat that I always say, do not look 716 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:26,279 Speaker 4: in that bag. Okay, give them a bag. It's all 717 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,920 Speaker 4: in the approach. If you go in there with the 718 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,719 Speaker 4: bag and you're like, it's too much stuff in here, 719 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,319 Speaker 4: get rid of some of it. Now, it evokes a 720 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:36,240 Speaker 4: different reaction if you go in there and say, wow, 721 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,520 Speaker 4: you know what, you are really blessed. You have a 722 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,440 Speaker 4: lot of wonderful things. There are so many kids in 723 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,600 Speaker 4: our community that don't. Can you if I give you 724 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,080 Speaker 4: this bag, can you go around and just you know, 725 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,839 Speaker 4: donate some things that you think that they might love. 726 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:57,000 Speaker 4: Your feelings will be so hurt when you realize all 727 00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:01,320 Speaker 4: the things that your children really don't want or need, 728 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:05,640 Speaker 4: right and how willing that they would be to give 729 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,919 Speaker 4: that to another child if they knew that it would 730 00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:08,640 Speaker 4: make them happy. 731 00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:12,640 Speaker 1: What my step daughter sold her, she sold her American 732 00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:14,920 Speaker 1: Girls doll for like five dollars at a at a 733 00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:20,480 Speaker 1: we had like a like a garage stale, you know, 734 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,279 Speaker 1: I mean, because you know those are like two three 735 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:22,879 Speaker 1: hundred dollars. 736 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:26,839 Speaker 4: We did that American Girl dollar life. I know that 737 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,000 Speaker 4: doll lived a good life. 738 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:31,920 Speaker 1: They're so expensive. And then to see that she was 739 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,480 Speaker 1: so excited to do. We're like, we're gonna have a 740 00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:36,080 Speaker 1: garage show, you know, Alyssa, just go in your things 741 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:37,480 Speaker 1: and pull out what you don't want. 742 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:41,520 Speaker 2: She just put He looked he was like a raven, 743 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:47,200 Speaker 2: like bye, yeah, that they about you last year. Five dollars. 744 00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 4: I know. 745 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:48,759 Speaker 2: The pair who bought it was like. 746 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:52,960 Speaker 3: So, but it's sold on eBay for two hundred. 747 00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:57,239 Speaker 1: So it's just to your point, Christine, it's you, you 748 00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 1: know the stuff that we give our kids sometimes, you know, 749 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,359 Speaker 1: we we have more of emotional attachment to giving them 750 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,319 Speaker 1: things and they actually have and receiving those things. 751 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,880 Speaker 4: So to be mind that, you know, a lot of 752 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:11,440 Speaker 4: that is our own unfulfilled childhood once. Right, Like my 753 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:15,000 Speaker 4: daughter had American, that girl, Oh, that doll of a 754 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,719 Speaker 4: good life. It had a bed, it had clothes, she 755 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:21,279 Speaker 4: played the violin, It had a violin, right like, it 756 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,840 Speaker 4: was out of it was out of control. And I remember, 757 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 4: you know, decluttering and going through all these things, and 758 00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:29,880 Speaker 4: I was like, this is this is the life that 759 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:34,400 Speaker 4: I wanted my dolls to have. Right, So some of 760 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:39,000 Speaker 4: that stuff is us fulfilling our own unfulfilled childhood once. 761 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, I got to get better at saying no, and 762 00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:43,759 Speaker 3: maybe don't do it the morning of Christmas when you're 763 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,080 Speaker 3: stressed out and another package has been delivered and it's 764 00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:50,040 Speaker 3: a remote control driving car and you tell your father 765 00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:51,600 Speaker 3: never no more toys and he. 766 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 4: Hangs up on it. Yeah, you need to get get 767 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,919 Speaker 4: that email, that no out, that email out ahead of him. 768 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,920 Speaker 3: To say no in different language. Just now there's all 769 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,560 Speaker 3: these grandparents, well. 770 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,440 Speaker 2: No in Spanish. It's still now. 771 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,080 Speaker 4: It's still a lot of words to it when mother 772 00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,480 Speaker 4: in law. Okay, but you know what, Mandy, you can 773 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:15,759 Speaker 4: also like redirect them, right, so you know what, he 774 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,480 Speaker 4: really does not need another remote control car instead, what 775 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:23,200 Speaker 4: we're doing this year for Christmas is fill in the 776 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,439 Speaker 4: blank or what I would also tell people who would 777 00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:29,480 Speaker 4: just be what I felt was like not respecting boundaries. 778 00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,839 Speaker 4: After certain times you say no, you're like, I really 779 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 4: don't want it, right, I would say, just so you know, 780 00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:36,640 Speaker 4: I mean, I told you we're trying to live with less. 781 00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,759 Speaker 4: We're not taking in all of these toys. Are you 782 00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:45,640 Speaker 4: comfortable with me donating this to an organization in need? 783 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 1: Right? 784 00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:49,560 Speaker 4: So it's like that redirect too, right, So you got 785 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:50,480 Speaker 4: some options, Mandy. 786 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, I gotta brush up on my intermediary Spanish to 787 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,600 Speaker 3: get to that level of conversation. But this has been 788 00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:01,520 Speaker 3: such a wonderful, wonderful conversation. Thank you so much, Christine, 789 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:03,160 Speaker 3: thank you both for having me. 790 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,279 Speaker 1: Can you let folks know, like you know, what your 791 00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:06,840 Speaker 1: book is, where they can get it and where they 792 00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:07,560 Speaker 1: can continue. 793 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:12,600 Speaker 4: Yes, yes, so this is my book see Afro Minimalist 794 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,160 Speaker 4: Guide to Living with Less or I probably have eaten 795 00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:19,120 Speaker 4: something right there, but that's the book. And you can 796 00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:22,800 Speaker 4: find me online. I'm very active on Instagram, have a 797 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:26,080 Speaker 4: you know, a wonderful community discussions there, and I am 798 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,040 Speaker 4: at Afrominimalist and you can also find me on the 799 00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:30,759 Speaker 4: web under the same name. 800 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,719 Speaker 3: Thank you, well, thank you, thank you, thank you for 801 00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:38,319 Speaker 3: coming on. I love this conversation. Yes, I've you gave 802 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,600 Speaker 3: me a lot to think about personally, so thank you 803 00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:41,520 Speaker 3: for joining us. 804 00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:43,360 Speaker 4: All check Christine. 805 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,640 Speaker 3: Check our show notes for all her links. 806 00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,200 Speaker 4: Yes, thanks