1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode Alchemy. Yes COVID nineteen one edition. 2 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pod Yes that Why don't you 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 1: check with the landlord? What am I James Taylor's handy man? 4 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,800 Speaker 1: But I digress. Let's meet her? Chamis shan't we in 5 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:24,920 Speaker 1: no particular? PLU say hello cracket? Please share your first 6 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:35,240 Speaker 1: time on any stage, on any stage? Question? Best friend 7 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: Toby and I, that's right, did puppet shows and some 8 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: I don't not sure how this happened, but we got 9 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 1: a gig to perform at the Springfield Mall in Springfield, 10 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 1: Virginia when we're about eight years old. And uh so, 11 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: uh we were hiding, you know, behind the table in 12 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: the in a blanket. You're holding our puppets up. You're 13 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,119 Speaker 1: how old? I'm sorry? I was about eight years old. 14 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: And the show went fairly well, considering you couldn't see anyone. Uh, 15 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 1: I don't think anybody was paying attention. I don't know 16 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: why we were there. Um, and I've I've not continued 17 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: the puppetry. You just described the first You just described 18 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,679 Speaker 1: the first thirty seven shows I did as a stand up. Yeah, 19 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:38,679 Speaker 1: anyone knew I was magic? Uh? Yes, Hey, it's James Haney, 20 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: jelly roll, Jim, what is your bowling average? I'd say 21 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: once or twice a year. That cannot be that cannot 22 00:01:55,040 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: be true. Down UM's been. I've never been so happy. 23 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 1: My bowling afforage greatly between. Like you know, it depends 24 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: and if they have the bumpers up a b it depends, 25 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: and if it's a good day. Uh, and yeah, that's 26 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,799 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I don't know 27 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:24,320 Speaker 1: the afforage. I don't know it. Yeah, that is the answer. 28 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: And I I knew I had asked the right person. 29 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: And now here's Jackie Druthi, j and the d How 30 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,799 Speaker 1: are you taking the j Rod breakup? You know what? 31 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: Thank you for asking because I do. I'm obsessed with 32 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: j Lo. When I was little, Like all my perfumes 33 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: were j Lo everything, Jlo, Jlo Jlo. I wanted to 34 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 1: be her, look like her everything. So how am I 35 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 1: taking it? I'm taking it? Um. You know, we can't 36 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,359 Speaker 1: say we didn't see this coming. Uh. For me, if 37 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:58,079 Speaker 1: I see like extreme doting on social media, I'm like, 38 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: there's a problem. You're covering something. The Valentine's Day posts. 39 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,919 Speaker 1: Look at what he's done I'm like, this is too much, 40 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: This is too much. Um. So I can't say I'm surprised, 41 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: but I am devastated for my good friend j Lo. 42 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: Devastated for her children. Um and you know if they 43 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: are back together for publicity stunt or a business deal, like, 44 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: you know, power to her be the queen that she is. Again, 45 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:29,079 Speaker 1: I knew I asked the right person. Yeah, you're saying 46 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: Caroline was not the right person. That was one of 47 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 1: the more priceless moments. Um. Yeah, And now here's Chris 48 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: Alvarado delicious soup to nuts. Prior to discovering surfing, what 49 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 1: sport were you any good at? Not? None, nothing, never 50 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: been And I'm not good at surfing either. Here's the 51 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: here's the problem. I'm six three, yeah, six three, I'm 52 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 1: fit ish people, as sue, people assume I can play 53 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: some sport. You know how many times in my adult 54 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: life other adult men have asked me to play basketball 55 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: with them, and I say I'm not good and then 56 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 1: they say, I'd like to guess, Yeah, how many? That's 57 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: a bit extreme, but a lot a dozen, doesn't. I mean, 58 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,920 Speaker 1: I would ask you Baker's doesn't. And then here's what happens. 59 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: Here's what happens every time. Here's what happens. I said, 60 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 1: I'm not very good. They go, no, we're not very good. 61 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 1: Let's just play. We're just gonna play. Show up. I mean, 62 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: I got the fucking choose, I got the I look good, 63 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 1: I know how to address, and I'm six three and 64 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,280 Speaker 1: get the ball in my hands and I'm so I'm 65 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: not I'm very bad. And here's what happens. We start playing, 66 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: and then they see how bad I actually am. And 67 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: then I could tell because their voices start going up. 68 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: They go like nice, dude, like like for me, and 69 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 1: then and and I can and I'm telling them like 70 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: I told you, and they go, oh yeah yeah. And 71 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 1: also with the last remaining five seconds of my time, 72 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: I just want to say that, um, Facebook memories, Facebook 73 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: reminders of memories, whatever, reminded me that Craig and I 74 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: did the show two years ago, two years ago today. 75 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:12,920 Speaker 1: Look at that. Look at that? Friends, Yeah, okay, thank 76 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,160 Speaker 1: you so much for this. Thank you. And that was 77 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 1: uh three in a row for me, uh asking the 78 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:25,719 Speaker 1: correct person in that particular question. And last, but just Frank, 79 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: no beans for you. If you think of leaves, it's 80 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: joey greer birth control and shoes. When were you gonna 81 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 1: tell us that? You know what's crazy is like you 82 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 1: think you deserve to know? That's what piss me off? 83 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: Do you think you deserve like like when like I'm 84 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,719 Speaker 1: supposed to, I don't have to tell you ship well, 85 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,720 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. I don't have to do that, 86 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 1: but I choose to because I care, because I'm sensitive. 87 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: I'm a vulnerable guy. Uh and I just want to 88 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: be open. So the answer is right now. Thank you 89 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: for that. Let's do a damn show all of our 90 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 1: scene suggestions, either of course from your listen to emails, 91 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: or from our Patreon v I p s. They get priority. 92 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: Live with it to become a patron supporter of the 93 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,279 Speaker 1: show and get said priority as well as exclusive content 94 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:13,840 Speaker 1: and other perks. Just head on over to patreon dot 95 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: com slash alchemy. This is if you'd like to submit 96 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: a scene the old timey way by sending me an 97 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 1: email because I'm the one who's gonna read him and 98 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 1: I can't wait. Please write to the podcast at your 99 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 1: name here at alchemy this dot com. That's your name 100 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: here at see number one Today comes from Heather, who wrote, hello, 101 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: wonderful alchemists. Thank you for making me laugh out loud, 102 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 1: even while the world burns around us. James look away 103 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: for fox sake. Oh so this apparently was one that 104 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 1: James had access to. It. I just read an article 105 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: about paleontologists finding a perfectly preserved dinosaur butt hole. M 106 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,600 Speaker 1: that's good dino buttle, and immediately knew I had to 107 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,720 Speaker 1: tell you all about it. The article says that it 108 00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 1: was a multi purpose glory hole and that the discover 109 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 1: is shedding light where the sun don't shine. Clever journalists. 110 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 1: But the best quote is quote it's like a Swiss 111 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: army knife of excreciatory openings. End quote. Vint said, quote 112 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: it does everything end quote. I have no idea how 113 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: this could be used as a scene, but I have 114 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: faith in you. Love you all. Head. Well, it's a cloaca, right, 115 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 1: I mean there was. They've said dinosaurs became birds, birds 116 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 1: known for the all purpose hole otherwise known as the cloaca. 117 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 1: Am I wrong, Craig, You're right about the cloaca. Yeah, 118 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: and also just a great word cloaca. Oh man, Yeah, 119 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:45,720 Speaker 1: I was almost Countie Cloaca. That was almost my stage name. Tony. 120 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: What the hell is It's like, I can't print this. 121 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: What do you mean you can't print it? Story? It's 122 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: based on fact? What what? What part is the trouble 123 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:57,560 Speaker 1: for you? Tony? Come on, look, I but this is 124 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: not the place. Okay, this is science. Jim, Jim, talk 125 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 1: to me. What's going on? Something at home? Yes, I'm 126 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 1: at home. It's so yeah, right, you can talk to me, 127 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 1: can you can't. I don't want to be a scientist 128 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: like you dad. Just just caiding about it for a second. Alright, 129 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 1: Just put on the stethoscope, all right, listen to roscope. 130 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 1: What does that have to do with science? Medicine is 131 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: a science, alright, just just put it on. Alright, Just look, 132 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,840 Speaker 1: what do you want to look at? He doesn't love you. 133 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,360 Speaker 1: He doesn't love you. I don't love your dad. You 134 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 1: know what you've been You've been filling them with this bullshit. Okay, 135 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 1: I work for a living, Okay, can't be home all 136 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,560 Speaker 1: day doing well. I don't know what you're doing here. 137 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: Thank god, graphic are Thank god you make up shutting 138 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: the lamestream Mediah. God isn't real. God is not real. 139 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 1: It's not scientifically proven. That gotta I gotta be a priest. No, 140 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 1: son of mine is going to go into the clerks. 141 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, no, no no, you're going 142 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: to go into the scientists and the maths. Are ready 143 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:07,600 Speaker 1: to understand that I'm putting you in a math camp today. 144 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: That's not true. No you're not. I'm not doing a 145 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 1: math camp. I'm gonna be a Catholic priest. Don't sing that. No, no, 146 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: that's so institutionally. Hi, first day at math camp. We're 147 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,320 Speaker 1: just gonna go around the circle. Everyone tell us how 148 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: excited you are to be here? Yes, you, little man. 149 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: What's your name? My name's Peter. I'm not really excited 150 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: for math camp. I like the addition, I like buy 151 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,839 Speaker 1: an area, and I like computer programming. That's great, it's 152 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: right to have you. What was your name again, Peter? 153 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: Can we call you Pete? Yeah, okay, Pete. It's great 154 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 1: to have you. Here is camp for babies. I'm fifteen 155 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: years old. If we're gonna talk numbers, I'm gonna say, 156 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:57,079 Speaker 1: welcome to camp math Camp. What is your name? Mr? 157 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: Fifteen Curtis Curtiss? Where did you come today? From? Where 158 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 1: they come from? Yeah? From God? Well? Okay, but God 159 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: created all of us. Yeah, of course, what do you 160 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 1: think give me a science explanation for why we're here? No, 161 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: I meant what town? Oh yeah, Denise, Look, I don't 162 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 1: have a lot of time something. Don't you work for me. 163 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 1: You're an archaeologist. You're supposed to be out in the field, 164 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: dustin digging, exactly. I don't have the time for this. 165 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 1: I have to go out into the field and dustin dig. 166 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,439 Speaker 1: You you schedule this meeting, and I'm just letting you know. 167 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: We have to make it snappy because I just all right, 168 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:40,559 Speaker 1: I don't got a lot of time. All right, what 169 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,959 Speaker 1: you got? What you got? You got some teeth? You 170 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 1: gotta actually, um, I have a butt hole. Okay, alright, 171 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 1: you know what. Listen, listen, Denise, I told you I'm 172 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 1: not married, but I am seeing somebody. Okay, with these advances, 173 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:01,839 Speaker 1: these passes, So you don't but your butt hole in here. No, 174 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,839 Speaker 1: I definitely brought my own butth hole in here. I 175 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:08,439 Speaker 1: can't go anywhere about my own dinosaurs but hole. And 176 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 1: it's actually, um, I'm presuming that it's a a prodactosaurus's butthole. 177 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:20,200 Speaker 1: And what's so interesting about that is that um Podactosaurus, 178 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 1: much like a dog doesn't sweat. Podactosaurus is actually don't 179 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: sweat either, but they don't pant like a dog. It 180 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:28,959 Speaker 1: all comes out the butthole to sweat this. I know 181 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:35,320 Speaker 1: all of this. Okay, I'm the boss here. Okay, well, 182 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 1: I'm sorry to waste your time, and honestly, all right, 183 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:40,559 Speaker 1: I understand what you're saying. It is. Okay, so you 184 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 1: discovered you have a butth hole and you want me 185 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: to see your butt hole. Okay, so, uh, I mean 186 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,120 Speaker 1: I don't mind doing it, but I just want to 187 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,599 Speaker 1: make sure I got this right. You want me to 188 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: for the re release a Jurassic Park go through and 189 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 1: c g I but holes acting like this is impossible. 190 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,319 Speaker 1: It's not impossible, just like I mean, very specific and 191 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 1: it's a lot of work. But you're not passing judgment 192 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,199 Speaker 1: on the idea, are you, because that's what I'm sensing. No, 193 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: if it's science, I mean, making movies is definitely a science. Now, 194 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: you can either add these buttholes or you can't. I can't. 195 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 1: I can't, step Stephen, It's Johnny Williams. Just wanted to 196 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 1: let you know that I'm I'm prepared to add the 197 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:30,840 Speaker 1: butthole theme to the additional footage. Love to hear a peace? Great? Okay, 198 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,559 Speaker 1: how does it? How does it go? Give me a tempo? 199 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,599 Speaker 1: What is it? Guy? What are you getting? Well? We 200 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:43,560 Speaker 1: all know the main theme of Jurassic Park. No, I'm 201 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 1: pretty sure that it's left me and it just Let 202 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:54,280 Speaker 1: me just get whatever you have it now, no bad ideas? 203 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: Who are these people? See? These are just some interns 204 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 1: that I brought. I wrote the music. I know how 205 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 1: the theme to addressed Park. No. I think I think 206 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,679 Speaker 1: they should tell you I wrote the music to a 207 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 1: little are You Go Go Go? I ever heard of it? 208 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: Ever heard it? That's it? What was I playing it first? 209 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:32,960 Speaker 1: Let me play that again. I'm gonna play that first 210 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:39,839 Speaker 1: part again. That's when they enter the park. But what 211 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:44,559 Speaker 1: I'm doing is the you're doing yes, And that's the 212 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 1: park park entrance music. Anyway, the Island. I don't remember 213 00:13:52,200 --> 00:14:01,840 Speaker 1: what I titled. You can't get anything past the youth today, Joanny. Look, Denise, 214 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 1: I understand what you're saying. You've got a son, he's 215 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: away at camp. You're alone. I understand. I'm your boss, though. Okay, 216 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 1: you gotta dig, you gotta say, and you gotta yeah. 217 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,920 Speaker 1: And what I'm telling you is that my son is 218 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,199 Speaker 1: away from camp, so I actually have more time to 219 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 1: go sand and dig. To stop wasting my time right now. 220 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 1: She just feels like every time I look, I look, 221 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,680 Speaker 1: I look, every time my eyes are open, my top 222 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 1: is off. And that is true. But that's just me 223 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: expressing myself in a way that's you don't have to 224 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 1: explain that. You want to explain that to me. I'm 225 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 1: your boss, I get it, okay, So that right now 226 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 1: we're wasting We're honestly, we're wasting time on semantics. I 227 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 1: have a lot of sun tanlution to put on, and 228 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,920 Speaker 1: I have a lot of me and the and the 229 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 1: rest of care. We're gonna get the hell out of here. 230 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:51,640 Speaker 1: We've been waiting out there and come here. What's your name? 231 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:57,000 Speaker 1: What's your name? Dad's going on in here? What's your name? Eclaire? Claire? Claire? 232 00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 1: Are you more of a digger more of a duster? 233 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: I mean both? Okay? Good? I like that. I like that, 234 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 1: And so what's your issue again? My issues? We've been 235 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:09,280 Speaker 1: waiting out there. It's now seven pm. We've wasted all 236 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,320 Speaker 1: the good lives. We're gonna do it, glad, We're gonna 237 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 1: do a night digg a cool man. So you want 238 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 1: me to go down and fill up the generators. You 239 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 1: want me to go get the gas, fill up the 240 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: generator so we can get the lights working. Those loud, 241 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: stinky ones. Every time with this guy describing his job duties, 242 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,160 Speaker 1: just go do it for fun? Is that recrossant? Is 243 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 1: that what you want to do? You want to get 244 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: into this ocrosan, Yeah, I do want to get into this. Well, 245 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 1: you were given a direct or in my office, now 246 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: further into your office. Yeah, Brad, I'm sorry, we're not 247 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: gonna be able to fund the dig anymore. Excuse me, 248 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,040 Speaker 1: we're not gonna be you have headpunes you take this office. 249 00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,920 Speaker 1: I don't know if you understanding the boss at this 250 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 1: dig this is a dig site. Yeah, Brad, I understand 251 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 1: that we're gonna cut funding from the dig. No, no, no, 252 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: it's because it's because you're waiting for a big payoff. Right, 253 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 1: you're waiting for a big fine, right, but not waiting 254 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: for we have find it's a butth hole. We got it. 255 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 1: But yes, And to be honest, a lot of your 256 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 1: reports are just creepy as hell. I mean the reports 257 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 1: you send back, Brad, I just just I like creative 258 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 1: non fiction. What can I say? Yeah, but this is science. 259 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 1: All right, Here's what I'm gonna do for you. I'm 260 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: gonna keep digging. I'm gonna keep my team intact, and 261 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 1: we'll get back to you with a new exciting fine 262 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: very soon. I mean, with your own money. Just be 263 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: clear about that. We're we're stopping that. You're gonna pay 264 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: me money. Boo hoo, Dad, you have to fire someone 265 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:55,840 Speaker 1: who cares. You don't understand, You don't know what it's like. Okay, 266 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 1: of course you think this is just a game. This 267 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: is real. Look, there's nothing I have to of this. 268 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 1: It's just now. It's two thousand years ago. There's no dinosaurs, Dad, 269 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,120 Speaker 1: the one about this? Huh. I wasn't supposed to take 270 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: this out of the office. But look at this. This 271 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:15,200 Speaker 1: is a real life dinosaur buttle. This is silver forty 272 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 1: million years old. But your finger, yeah, it's perfectly preserved. 273 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,479 Speaker 1: Perfect I mean, look at the functionality of this thing. 274 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,000 Speaker 1: I mean, based on just like you know, digital mock 275 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,879 Speaker 1: ups were estimating that this orifice was able to do anything, 276 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 1: anything and everything. Mr Paterson, I'm I'm sorry interrupt this 277 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: moment of Junior Son and you, but I still like 278 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 1: to get paid. Also, he did not finish his juice, 279 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 1: and that was a problem for both of us. Let 280 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:53,880 Speaker 1: me just say that. Okay, so sixty, Can I take 281 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 1: fifty eight dollars and just put my pinky in the dinosaur? 282 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:03,880 Speaker 1: About all? Just a quick little I'm gonna give you six. 283 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,399 Speaker 1: There's definitely is no god. This is actually my third 284 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:11,879 Speaker 1: time here at math camp. Um. Some people say I 285 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 1: rule the camp. I wouldn't say that. Everybody says you 286 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 1: rule the camp. Yeah, it's been said. So I've actually 287 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,680 Speaker 1: petitioned to have some more theater arts because I'm not 288 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 1: just good at math, I'm also good at theater arts. 289 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:30,120 Speaker 1: So this summer we're gonna be gone the two. Yeah, 290 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 1: we're gonna be doing um. We're a staged reading of proof. 291 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,400 Speaker 1: I'm sorry I started. Was there someone talking about theater here? Yeah? 292 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,000 Speaker 1: Theater arts? Yeah, theater arts, but also math. Can you 293 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:48,439 Speaker 1: come with us? But can you get in the suv um? 294 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 1: Do you have a warrant for that? We don't need 295 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,680 Speaker 1: a warrant. We work with the camp. We're not allowed 296 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,439 Speaker 1: to have any think. I think she's right, I think 297 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,359 Speaker 1: we need a wart d. No, we're good Okay, we 298 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:04,680 Speaker 1: work with the camp. How come you're not wearing a sure? Okay, 299 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 1: we're here. On a second, dear j you're not getting 300 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,720 Speaker 1: that STV. We need to see some sort of credentials here. 301 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 1: You can't just over the camp. She was clearly talking 302 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 1: about theater. Put her in the suv and get her 303 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 1: out of the camp. Camp now, children, you're the king gentlemen. Please, 304 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 1: I'm trying to conduct a camp here. This is a 305 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,160 Speaker 1: math camp. What do you do camp? Not a little 306 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:31,760 Speaker 1: theater camp? Right? Camp? Who are you? You worked with 307 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:36,720 Speaker 1: the math? No? I mean just tell them, tell him, 308 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 1: tell them you're not coming. You're not just like a counselor. 309 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 1: Who are you? We shouldn't be. We work with black 310 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: Water and scout by the camp to make sure of 311 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:54,120 Speaker 1: that only maths get done here. Right, you're gonna arrest 312 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:58,440 Speaker 1: my children because they uh Dante right, I don't know 313 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:04,400 Speaker 1: what else to say? Uh on here? Yeah? Did dad 314 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 1: not let you play with the math tools? No? Uh 315 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 1: no that was it wasn't playtime with math? So business business? 316 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 1: Um so you thought I knew it. I'll do I'll 317 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,400 Speaker 1: round up children, that'll be my job. I'm just gonna 318 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:25,879 Speaker 1: escort off the premises of We're gonna drop Rock. So Stephen, 319 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,200 Speaker 1: you're saying that you're adding a C. G. I butt 320 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,719 Speaker 1: hole to the shark because that was your vision all 321 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 1: along and the technology didn't allow you to to do 322 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:39,280 Speaker 1: it back wasn't ready yet. Okay, Well everybody knows the 323 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:46,360 Speaker 1: famous Jaws theme, right, we do? John? If I could 324 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: ask you, uh, do you want to put your pinky 325 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: in it? You have the butt hole here? Yes? I did, 326 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 1: and then this is a real sharks bud hole, or 327 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,959 Speaker 1: this is the dinosaur butthole. This is the dinosaur butthole 328 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 1: is going to be cast as Bruce's bdole. Yeah, I 329 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 1: had to make me a mock up. Kids. Can you 330 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: get it out of the van? Please? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah 331 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: we can't. Okay, yeah, well are they theater kids are 332 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:22,879 Speaker 1: math kids? Now? John? The only reason I'm asking if 333 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,439 Speaker 1: you want to put your pinky in it because ever 334 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: so far, everyone who has magical things happen. Okay, I 335 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 1: like something to another world. I need some music bite here, 336 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:37,440 Speaker 1: some some sound bite that makes the audience they their 337 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: own buttholes tighten. Right, That's what I'm going for. Stephen. 338 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,200 Speaker 1: I'm so so sorry we went to the van. We 339 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,760 Speaker 1: went to go get the butthole. Where's the well? Um, 340 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 1: we were sucking around, we were we were doing the 341 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:56,199 Speaker 1: Budweiser toads, you know, we were just but but then 342 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 1: we got method and we started hopping around and like 343 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,960 Speaker 1: basically boom, I was a frog, she was a frog. 344 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: I was a frog. She was a frog. It was 345 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 1: bouncing between us and ended up being he's wallowed its 346 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:14,360 Speaker 1: side of me. Oh that's interesting, Okay, I can work 347 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 1: with that. That is, I don't want to put my 348 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:20,200 Speaker 1: pinky in it. John, just a second, if you put 349 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:26,399 Speaker 1: your pinky in Larry, Mr and Mrs Lawson. I'm sorry 350 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,119 Speaker 1: to bring you this news, but there was an accident 351 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 1: of Maths camp and something happened to Pete he Um 352 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:37,399 Speaker 1: wait Math's camp was this in the UK? Well, I 353 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: mean it's it's it's always pronounced Maths, you know, let's 354 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 1: be real in the UK. Yeah, but I mean the 355 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 1: UK started it, so Lit's not I mean, I know, 356 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: not zero early. We need to get this straight. What happened? 357 00:22:52,920 --> 00:23:00,399 Speaker 1: Why suck your son is he's doing monologus in the 358 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:07,680 Speaker 1: front of Oh god, what somebody got to him? And uh, 359 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:14,200 Speaker 1: he loves performance. He was going to be a doctor scientist. 360 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 1: He's on Samuel French's website right now and he's just 361 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,439 Speaker 1: buying everything he camp. He told me that he went 362 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:24,680 Speaker 1: to some goddamn theater camp. No, sir, apparently at the 363 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:29,600 Speaker 1: maths camp. That's what we're going to. He was introduced 364 00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:33,480 Speaker 1: to a another camper who was obsessed with I don't 365 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:40,760 Speaker 1: know how they got through. Who's done this to my fie. 366 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 1: We can't give out that kind of personal information, ma'am. 367 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:47,520 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, but just no damn it. Black Water 368 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:58,760 Speaker 1: and One too about to us today by patron Alcamnia 369 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:04,200 Speaker 1: Hayley Bob Hayley, who wrote, high, I hope everyone is 370 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,760 Speaker 1: doing well. My scene suggestion is something weird is happening 371 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:13,440 Speaker 1: at the thirty three Annual Cowboy Poetry Symposium. Sure, what 372 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 1: would do it? Just take a number that TA number 373 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 1: and then we'll be able to call you what number 374 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 1: of Mike, Because I can't be here all day, We'll 375 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: just pull something out of the ball right there, and 376 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,760 Speaker 1: then we'll be able to see what number you got. 377 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,359 Speaker 1: So it's just wreck and even if your number gets 378 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 1: pulled early, it's only appropriate for you to stay and 379 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,080 Speaker 1: watch everybody else that goes after. You can't just read 380 00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:40,400 Speaker 1: and run, Clam. While I appreciate your opinion, I'm gonna 381 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,680 Speaker 1: shove it where I shove all the other opinions. And 382 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,160 Speaker 1: that's up your ass. Now. Then I just randomly pull 383 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,879 Speaker 1: up number out of the number. He's not staying to 384 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: listen to all the poets. Don't give him a number. 385 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,280 Speaker 1: I don't mind him. That's clam and he's a pain 386 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 1: and everybody's ass. So here we go, just number seven. 387 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,879 Speaker 1: Look at that, eat it seth lam. Right, we'll just 388 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 1: uh write your name down right there for number seven, 389 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 1: and alright, then everything organizemat number. It just just where 390 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:17,040 Speaker 1: the poetry happens. It's my turn to pull the number. 391 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,159 Speaker 1: But he, I mean, he was just this question if 392 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,879 Speaker 1: this was a poetry. But I'm like, all eyes on 393 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,200 Speaker 1: me while I pull a number, and he just seems 394 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,720 Speaker 1: like he's walking up trying to get a number. We 395 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 1: don't know what his motives are. He just came up. Sure, 396 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 1: you don't know what my motives are. She's right, No, 397 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 1: I'm just asking, is this where the poetry happens? Yeah, 398 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 1: it's a beautiful pen. So yeah, when you pull that number, 399 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: just you can write it right down there. All right, 400 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:53,680 Speaker 1: thank you kindly, number first before you write your not down. 401 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: It's it's my turn to pull a number though. I'll 402 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:09,399 Speaker 1: just sit back. A cold day, a steady steed. The 403 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:14,879 Speaker 1: wheat was yellow, the water was cold. It was a 404 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 1: cold day that made the water cold, but my steed 405 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 1: was as steady as ever. And please just come up here. 406 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 1: I'm practicing it. I told you I'm practicing. Hey, you 407 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 1: better get in there and help you gotta help your mom. Okay, 408 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:42,480 Speaker 1: come in my room. No, I'm practicing. Get out. Sorry, 409 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:47,640 Speaker 1: sorry me, sorry me, okay. It was a cold day, 410 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:52,880 Speaker 1: a steady steed. The river was cold. The cold day 411 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,679 Speaker 1: made the river water cold, but the steed was as 412 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,399 Speaker 1: steady as ever. And you better get your daughter in 413 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 1: the shape. I'll tell you what what what do you 414 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 1: mean or what I'm saying. I'll tell you what. Tell me? 415 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:14,080 Speaker 1: Then she God, dang it. We got chores to do 416 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 1: around here. I understand that dollar is gonna do them. 417 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 1: Just shut up and just smoke that cigarette and eat 418 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:26,920 Speaker 1: that lunchable. I love you and that's the truth. Fine, 419 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,560 Speaker 1: I'll do whatever you guys want. You ruined my practice anyways, 420 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,520 Speaker 1: you know, what we need to do. We need you 421 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 1: to sweep the porch, and then we need you to 422 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,480 Speaker 1: dust off that old magical cowboy hat. And don't you 423 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 1: put that cowboy hat on wishes. I've always ducked it off. 424 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,919 Speaker 1: Number fifty four. There's almost nobody else, Like, how can 425 00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 1: I be number fifty four? Do I have to write 426 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:58,760 Speaker 1: my name down? That's number fifty four. It's a random thing. 427 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,879 Speaker 1: Claim it's not personal. This is bullshit. I mean, this 428 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,520 Speaker 1: is bullshit. I've been sitting here waiting to get in line, 429 00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:11,240 Speaker 1: and alright, fine, I put my clam rogers. Wait a second. 430 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:12,879 Speaker 1: Claim You said he've been sitting here waiting to get 431 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 1: in line, so you weren't even in line. Well, I 432 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 1: was waiting to see the competition, so clam waite taking. 433 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 1: So you just pulled an illegal ball out. That's not 434 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:24,480 Speaker 1: talking about I. We're gonna have to just qualify. You're 435 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:28,040 Speaker 1: not allowed to do anything. I'll waiting. I read poetry 436 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 1: in this contest every year. Claim I'm sorry, that's just 437 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,280 Speaker 1: them the rules. If you weren't in line, you can't pool. 438 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: Well I was. I got in line after after I waited, 439 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 1: But you were waitingited line. But you weren't in the 440 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,280 Speaker 1: line to pool claim. Don't you understand these are the rules? 441 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,000 Speaker 1: H claim. I'm sorry, we're gonna have to borrow you 442 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: from doing any kind of poetry for the next I 443 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 1: got poetry in my heart. Well, it looks like we're 444 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 1: gonna be judging this here symposium together. They called me 445 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 1: the high ku kid. Well yeah, I'm just getting everything 446 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 1: organized so the other judges should be coming up in 447 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,360 Speaker 1: a second though. But you know, oh, you're not one 448 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,560 Speaker 1: of the judges. No, I'm not. I want you know. 449 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,720 Speaker 1: They've asked me, but I said no, I don't. Well, thanks, 450 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:31,440 Speaker 1: thank you, but one of the judges. Sorry, sorry, what 451 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 1: do they call you? Librick Larry? Oh, librick Larry. I've 452 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:41,480 Speaker 1: heard of you. There once was a young man from someplace. 453 00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 1: You're probably talking about me. Hey, uh, baby girl, you 454 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 1: in there doing your poetry? Yes, we opened the door. 455 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:17,959 Speaker 1: Please he look, thank you. My brakes man sing. Someone's 456 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: in trouble. No, look, look, I want to apologize for 457 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,200 Speaker 1: yelling at you. Okay, I know you love this thing. 458 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:27,960 Speaker 1: It's just your mom and I we want you to 459 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 1: do good, great, better things. But I do great poetry. Listen, 460 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 1: I believe you. Now. I was on the internet just 461 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:44,440 Speaker 1: not five minutes ago. I came across an advertisement. You 462 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 1: know how, let the government listen to everything we say. 463 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 1: Of course, Well they must have heard you talking about poetry, 464 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,080 Speaker 1: because it turns out I don't know what this word means. 465 00:30:54,600 --> 00:31:00,440 Speaker 1: But there was a cowboy poetry symposium happening at at 466 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:05,200 Speaker 1: the Square today and I can go to it. We 467 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 1: can't tell your mama. We can't tell your mama this 468 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,200 Speaker 1: isn't the government, Daddy. I put on the magical hat. 469 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,920 Speaker 1: I put it on after I just diagnamic we told 470 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:18,400 Speaker 1: you not to. I'm I'm so alright. Alright, what's done 471 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,120 Speaker 1: is done. What's done is done. And let's tell your 472 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,520 Speaker 1: mama that we gotta go finding some new pigs. What 473 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,800 Speaker 1: do you say, Okay, yes, she's got to find me 474 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 1: some new pigs. No, tell her that we're gonna go 475 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,640 Speaker 1: look for pigs so we can get you to suppose 476 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 1: you have to do what you need to do. Goddamn 477 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:39,040 Speaker 1: remote don't even working. We need new batteries. Oh what 478 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 1: the hell y'all want? Um? Nothing to say? Nothing to say? Well, 479 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,760 Speaker 1: if you're gonna say something, to make sure that new 480 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:54,440 Speaker 1: batteries she's okay, all right, pigs pigs, pigs. No, we're 481 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 1: gonna go look at the well. Next up. I believe 482 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:05,840 Speaker 1: we have number number fifty five. It should be pretty interesting. Yes, 483 00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:09,640 Speaker 1: one number sounds more interesting than any other number. Well, 484 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,280 Speaker 1: if you don't notice, this is a lady. This is 485 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:16,520 Speaker 1: a lady compete. There's a lady in front of me. 486 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:20,600 Speaker 1: Limerick Larry. Yeah, and this is uncommon. This is a 487 00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:26,640 Speaker 1: cowboy poetry symposium. Should start. Sorry, sorry, we're just talking 488 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,680 Speaker 1: amongst ourselves. Are we sure this is legal in a 489 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 1: cowboy poetry symposium. Well, you're saying, ah, you're saying this 490 00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:40,560 Speaker 1: young girl can't be a cowboy Limerick Larry. I'm not sure. 491 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:44,560 Speaker 1: I had never seen no lady compete in a cowboy 492 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,960 Speaker 1: symposium before. I'm just afraid you're building up to something 493 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:53,560 Speaker 1: up scene. Every every fifth sentence, this guy says it's 494 00:32:53,600 --> 00:33:00,840 Speaker 1: something super dirty. Anyway, Yeah, you go ahead, young we'd 495 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: love to hear what you got. No problem. I'll start 496 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,360 Speaker 1: and it will be the best poem yet. By the 497 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:16,600 Speaker 1: tip of my hat. Magic. Have you ever seen a 498 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:22,360 Speaker 1: sky so blue? I've seen it with my eyes of two, 499 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:29,280 Speaker 1: my ass in the saddle. You hear a snake and 500 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 1: it's giving me a rattle a wing sign with the 501 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,320 Speaker 1: tip of its tail. But my god, the snake is 502 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,680 Speaker 1: the size of a whale. Oh am I going to do? 503 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:45,720 Speaker 1: Do I shoot it or shoot myself? No, just give 504 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 1: me a gun. Well, that was that was fantastic. You know, 505 00:33:56,320 --> 00:34:00,360 Speaker 1: I specialized in poems of exactly seventeen syllables, but that 506 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,800 Speaker 1: those rhyming couplets were beautiful. And then when you deliberately 507 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:07,280 Speaker 1: broke the pattern for the last two lines, that was 508 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,959 Speaker 1: that was surprising. What do you say, don't le Well, 509 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 1: I gotta be honest, it came in. It is quite 510 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:18,719 Speaker 1: the surprise. I ain't never seen a lady competing cowboy contest. 511 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,920 Speaker 1: And I usually do do some I said to do. 512 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:27,799 Speaker 1: I usually have some rhyming in my schemes as well. Yeah, 513 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,920 Speaker 1: I mean I normally pick up whoever man. You know. 514 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,520 Speaker 1: So you said your name was clam right, Is that right? Yeah? 515 00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:40,200 Speaker 1: I've competed in the uh the Cowboy Poetry SYMPOSI many years. 516 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,799 Speaker 1: There was a technicality I'm not allowed in. It's later 517 00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,680 Speaker 1: he gets up there. That's a shame, man, that's a shame. 518 00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,520 Speaker 1: And I guess your car broke down with that look. 519 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,880 Speaker 1: I don't care why your hitchhiken. You know, I'm happy 520 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,160 Speaker 1: to thank you. Know I'm drive these roads a lot 521 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,320 Speaker 1: on my loans from so so nice. I have some company, 522 00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:01,360 Speaker 1: you know. All right, well, thank you, thank you. How 523 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:07,640 Speaker 1: do you believe in the magical artifacts? Congratulations, baby girl, 524 00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:12,000 Speaker 1: congratulation And I want us a horse. We no longer 525 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:19,080 Speaker 1: have to ride the pict darling. I was thinking, wouldn't 526 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:20,919 Speaker 1: you have felt better about that wind if you didn't 527 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 1: cast that magical spell on them? Judges? First? Now, don't 528 00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:26,480 Speaker 1: you want to know how your poetry holds up against 529 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:30,759 Speaker 1: other poets that didn't cast a spell on I tip? 530 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,560 Speaker 1: I'd gave a tip of my hat because that's just 531 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,680 Speaker 1: proper etiquette. And yes it was the magic hat, but 532 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:41,720 Speaker 1: I didn't. Maybe you've cast a spell, a liking spell. 533 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:47,200 Speaker 1: They have to like you. Now. It's a nice horse, 534 00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:59,799 Speaker 1: nice horse. I'm never going to be good enough. What, darling, 535 00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:03,880 Speaker 1: Oh my god, say your daddy. He just ride out 536 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,279 Speaker 1: of here on the horse. Yeah, and I don't know 537 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,839 Speaker 1: if he's ever going to come back. Oh my god, 538 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:10,200 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I gott tell you this, but there's 539 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,879 Speaker 1: a horrible accident your house. A whole bunch of wild 540 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,000 Speaker 1: pigs out of the house. They tore it up. That 541 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,000 Speaker 1: they ate every today. Ate your mom. The pigs ate 542 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:21,120 Speaker 1: your mom. You are known to eat human flesh. That 543 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:28,080 Speaker 1: is a fact everything. I'm sorry. I wouldn't wish just 544 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,600 Speaker 1: on anybody, my my worst enemy. How the hell has happened? 545 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 1: I wasted wishes, I've already used all my five wishes. Oh, ship, 546 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:44,040 Speaker 1: fucking ship. And those are not wild pigs. Those are 547 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,320 Speaker 1: our pigs. They were seeking vengeance. They're pissed. We're supposed 548 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,960 Speaker 1: to ride them. Well. Welcome back to the thirty fourth 549 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:53,799 Speaker 1: Annual Cowboy Poetry Symposium. Wait, we have last year's champion here. 550 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:59,000 Speaker 1: It's it's good to see you back, Dolly. It's been 551 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:03,759 Speaker 1: a rough year, but I'm happy to be here. Yeah, 552 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,920 Speaker 1: you said your poem this year is just gonna it's 553 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:16,280 Speaker 1: gonna get real whenever you're ready. Thank you. This poetry 554 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:21,080 Speaker 1: is about blood. This poetry is about my body, this 555 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:27,920 Speaker 1: poetry in mind. I'm sorry, but I just want to 556 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,320 Speaker 1: remind her this is a family event, and it sounds 557 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,640 Speaker 1: like she's gonna talk about blood and bodies. Are you right? 558 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:41,040 Speaker 1: Fucking limericks for to putting the Limerick where he belongs. 559 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,920 Speaker 1: Seen three today comes us from Batter Batter, who wrote, Hi, honest, 560 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,680 Speaker 1: I have a good one this time. I think Lord 561 00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,000 Speaker 1: of the Rings characters on their way to destroy the Ring, 562 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:57,000 Speaker 1: get lost and find themselves in Game of Thrones universe, 563 00:37:57,040 --> 00:38:02,520 Speaker 1: can't wait here order up on this one office. I 564 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:04,360 Speaker 1: thought it was the worst I've ever read, so I 565 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:11,880 Speaker 1: had to include it with this fellowship. We will traverse 566 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:16,520 Speaker 1: the lands until we meet ourselves at more dog stop 567 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:20,239 Speaker 1: being real quick right there? Sorry, are you doing some 568 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:25,560 Speaker 1: kind Not really, No, not really, okay, I'm just kind 569 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,960 Speaker 1: of affecting a certain kind of right. It's coming like 570 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 1: you're being a little hokey, and we want folks to 571 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:36,320 Speaker 1: really have an adventure here. Okay. You know I was 572 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 1: on Game of Thrones, you know that, right, That's why 573 00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 1: we're all here, because you know that Thrones. Well, yes, 574 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,840 Speaker 1: of course, yeah. It was pretty much a core character 575 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:48,040 Speaker 1: through that. So people love me, you know, they do, 576 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,239 Speaker 1: they do, and they have a certain expectation. I think 577 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,680 Speaker 1: that because we did when we hired you. So yeah, 578 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:57,920 Speaker 1: well I'm aragone now, all right, all right, yeah, I 579 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:00,799 Speaker 1: think that's where the who are you talking too? I'm 580 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:04,680 Speaker 1: talking you talking to the evil eye of Soreomon Jesus Christ, 581 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:09,040 Speaker 1: and you keep talking to someone in the sky. All right, 582 00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:11,440 Speaker 1: can we just cut for a second, Jason, can you 583 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:14,719 Speaker 1: just pull out for a second? Would you pull out? 584 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,360 Speaker 1: You don't have to be method all the time. This 585 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,839 Speaker 1: is this is insane. You know what. I quit. If 586 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:21,760 Speaker 1: you want me, you can find me at my house. 587 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:28,560 Speaker 1: Oh my god, everyone take five. Excuse me. Um, I 588 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:33,239 Speaker 1: happen to know all of his lines? Um, yeah, um, 589 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:37,080 Speaker 1: I know. I'm just here too, like give you give 590 00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,160 Speaker 1: you some some doughnut puffs and I'm just having that. 591 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:45,600 Speaker 1: But you know I've watched and I'm an oratory learner, 592 00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:49,759 Speaker 1: and let's all of his lines? Okay, great, yeah, yeah, 593 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:53,200 Speaker 1: let's give it a shot. Were the doughnut boots? Oh? 594 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,239 Speaker 1: Oh wait, just give me one second. I need a 595 00:39:56,320 --> 00:40:04,400 Speaker 1: godda donut poo he this most thing? Okay, okay, okay, okay, 596 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:10,239 Speaker 1: this is all your worth. Okay, I'm ready. You're not 597 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:14,680 Speaker 1: the real Aragon. You're not part of the fellowship where 598 00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:17,239 Speaker 1: all the fellowship we needed to live for this ring 599 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:22,840 Speaker 1: to motor um, that's actually not his que line. So 600 00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:27,359 Speaker 1: should where am I? What are these what are these 601 00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:32,360 Speaker 1: mechanical devices? Hey, Arragon, it's your neighbors. I don't I know, 602 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,680 Speaker 1: it's not your name's what you have us? Call you 603 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:40,239 Speaker 1: Steve your neighbor. Are you in there, Bud? Yeah, I 604 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:46,760 Speaker 1: see you. Hey. Um look man, you haven't been paying 605 00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:49,760 Speaker 1: the h O apes, you know, and that's a monthly 606 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,719 Speaker 1: thing and it helps keep up with the step around here. 607 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:58,759 Speaker 1: What's up? Are you serious? What do you mean, Bud? 608 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:05,200 Speaker 1: I was Game of Thrones? M hmm yeah, yeah, what 609 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:13,439 Speaker 1: were you on? Let's right, you're an accountant. Yeah. Look, 610 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,960 Speaker 1: so it's a doughnut wrapped in a puff pastry. It's really, 611 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,960 Speaker 1: really really food. It's really good, trust me, man, Why 612 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,840 Speaker 1: why don't they have more healthy snacks around here? They 613 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,880 Speaker 1: wonder why all of us grips are so fat? Like 614 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:29,800 Speaker 1: I just I just want some some you know, celery sticks. 615 00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:36,399 Speaker 1: It's like it's more expensive to get um organic goods, 616 00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,359 Speaker 1: and if it's not organic then really you're just eating 617 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,960 Speaker 1: like chemicals. It's just crap, would you It's more expensive 618 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:47,960 Speaker 1: to see a cardiologist for them for something healthier down 619 00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:55,680 Speaker 1: here on Crafty it's me the magical salary stick. Is 620 00:41:55,719 --> 00:42:00,760 Speaker 1: anybody else here? This I'm gonna go back into via booth. 621 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:07,080 Speaker 1: I'm talking to you, Ben, only you can see me. Yeah. 622 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,160 Speaker 1: Here you're you're a talking celery stick. That's right, I'm 623 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:15,560 Speaker 1: magic magic. That's right. Ben should eat its tasty alright, 624 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:21,440 Speaker 1: little blue cheese. Ben. We need you to get on 625 00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:28,560 Speaker 1: the sand bags. You know what I mean. I tell 626 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,400 Speaker 1: you a hundred of times today, that's what I do. 627 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:42,359 Speaker 1: You killed it, sary, stuff it sandbags. Get your head 628 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:50,160 Speaker 1: in the game ship, Ben, Ben, Well, you're all right now? 629 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,719 Speaker 1: From my body back? Who shot my body back? Then? Oh, 630 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:59,040 Speaker 1: it's in his digestive system? Who's from me? A new body? 631 00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,560 Speaker 1: Look at this? Look at this poor poor celery stick 632 00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:11,040 Speaker 1: of magic. You you see the dark sorcery too. We've 633 00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,120 Speaker 1: got to bring and we've got to get the other 634 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,759 Speaker 1: half of this stick back. How do I do it go? 635 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:20,560 Speaker 1: How do I do it? Tell me? Where did you go? Yeah? 636 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:25,720 Speaker 1: That the head of my crew bit when he spent 637 00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:27,440 Speaker 1: half of it out, The other is probably in his 638 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:31,200 Speaker 1: digestive track. You know, you're the only beat person here 639 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,680 Speaker 1: that sees through the dark sorcery of this world. We 640 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:38,919 Speaker 1: need to split that man open and get the bottom half. Hey, 641 00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:43,640 Speaker 1: um Arian, um My daughter threw her ball over and 642 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:48,960 Speaker 1: we saw you take it inside your house. M hm, Hey, 643 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,480 Speaker 1: but it's your neighbor. My daughter threw her ball over 644 00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:57,759 Speaker 1: and we you can see me, right, you can see me. 645 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:01,640 Speaker 1: This is a ring camera, all right? Can I just 646 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:09,440 Speaker 1: place that my daughter's ball? That's my ball? Dude, you're 647 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,440 Speaker 1: a funked up neighbor. You know that no one likes you, man, 648 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,359 Speaker 1: No one know you. How about the millions of people 649 00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:18,080 Speaker 1: who watch a Game of Thrones? Just them only then? 650 00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:23,080 Speaker 1: But no, no, nobody who knows you likes you. If 651 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:24,480 Speaker 1: I were you, I would go and bark on some 652 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:26,839 Speaker 1: crazy journey that leads you to some crazy places. Where 653 00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:31,319 Speaker 1: are you find some crazy beasts? Hey? Where's my ball? 654 00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:36,439 Speaker 1: Please here? Talk to him? Okay, guy? Is this Game 655 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,080 Speaker 1: of Thrones? Guy? Yeah, it's Game with Thron. How you 656 00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:44,000 Speaker 1: doing a little a fan? I'm autograph. I do my 657 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:46,200 Speaker 1: ball over the fence on purpose so you could sign 658 00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:48,200 Speaker 1: it and then we could get it back. Oh yeah, 659 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,319 Speaker 1: yeah you did. What are you proud of your dad? 660 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:57,040 Speaker 1: I'm so well? What's going on here? Do you wish 661 00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:58,640 Speaker 1: he was an actor? Somebody wish he was on Game 662 00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:01,719 Speaker 1: with Thrones? I do? I'm just gonna kill? Would you 663 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:08,640 Speaker 1: give me? Where you going give me my daughter back? 664 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:10,880 Speaker 1: All right? Now you see these papers at the door, 665 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,080 Speaker 1: those our adoption papers? Are they already been signed by 666 00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:16,719 Speaker 1: my lawyer? What the heay, Dirk? I got those sandbags? Move? 667 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,520 Speaker 1: Can I talk to you for a for a second? Yeah? 668 00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:23,839 Speaker 1: What's up? I gotta cut you open. I gotta cut 669 00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:28,440 Speaker 1: your open? Right? Where are you? Where are you a 670 00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:37,960 Speaker 1: little bit? Oh god, he's not the large testing. Maybe 671 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:43,000 Speaker 1: he's going down in the coal and this butthole is 672 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:48,080 Speaker 1: perfectly preserved. Where are you? Talk to me? You talk 673 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:51,359 Speaker 1: to me, Dirk? Hang in there there. I'm gonna get 674 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,800 Speaker 1: the medic there. We're gonna keep you alive. But I 675 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:58,640 Speaker 1: need to get this magical salary STOCKSTI track. I think 676 00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:00,600 Speaker 1: we're her. I need to trick this my trick salary. 677 00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:02,920 Speaker 1: Start to the how to take him to the elves, 678 00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:06,520 Speaker 1: the only one that can heal something like this is 679 00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:12,920 Speaker 1: a terrible wound? How do okay? All right? Uh? Well? 680 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:18,240 Speaker 1: Did I do something wrong? Like the right bend? Okay? 681 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:23,760 Speaker 1: What do you get for us today? Well? Ben, go ahead, 682 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,520 Speaker 1: tell him, tell him what we've got. Okay. I thought 683 00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:32,520 Speaker 1: I thought you would make introductions because okay, okay, he's 684 00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,680 Speaker 1: a christ. What's going on? This dot to me? This 685 00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:39,759 Speaker 1: giving me freak Well, I believe the dark eye of 686 00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:43,040 Speaker 1: shore On has cost a lot of confusion in the world. 687 00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:47,239 Speaker 1: You've got this sublery stick. It's been bitten half and 688 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:53,759 Speaker 1: only I believe the power of the keeplers commend this mood. Yeah, well, 689 00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,280 Speaker 1: we don't just make cookies. It's true, but your story 690 00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,919 Speaker 1: is a little convoluted. Maybe we could just go point 691 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,200 Speaker 1: we just get to the point of why you're here today. 692 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:06,120 Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't even want to be a part 693 00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,640 Speaker 1: of this. I don't even want to be a part. 694 00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:13,120 Speaker 1: I was complaining about the unhealthy snacks. Magical salary snacks. 695 00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:18,040 Speaker 1: Start and come to the kibler else to complain about 696 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:21,799 Speaker 1: unhealthy snacks. Look, this is an impressive factor. You got 697 00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:26,400 Speaker 1: in then in the base of this tree. Okay, so um, 698 00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:30,040 Speaker 1: so you are you were craft service but now you're 699 00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,920 Speaker 1: an actress or you've always been an actress? You just 700 00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:38,120 Speaker 1: did both right? Sure? Yeah? Okay, um, so um I 701 00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:44,200 Speaker 1: found you one casting Casting Casting com. Yes, I made 702 00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:47,799 Speaker 1: a profile just yesterday on my phone. So good, so good, 703 00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:49,960 Speaker 1: so um it's gonna be a little low budge. I mean, 704 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get your feet. I'm gonna pay your feet. Um. 705 00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:54,560 Speaker 1: But like we're gonna do kind of like found footage style. 706 00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:59,080 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna seto up here on this large gate 707 00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:01,799 Speaker 1: and the action is you're gonna jump over this gate. 708 00:48:02,040 --> 00:48:04,320 Speaker 1: Can you run into that guy's house. He's an accurate 709 00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:07,799 Speaker 1: obviously he's some Game of Thrones anyway, and you're gonna 710 00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:12,520 Speaker 1: engage in an altercation. It's kind I'm not I don't 711 00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:15,759 Speaker 1: do stunts. I just um, I mostly actually do voice over, 712 00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:21,200 Speaker 1: so it's very limited in terms of my physical abilities. Okay, okay, 713 00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:23,800 Speaker 1: what do you just use your voice? Can you have 714 00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:26,719 Speaker 1: a conversation with him through this intercom and and and 715 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,320 Speaker 1: and your motivation is to get him out of the 716 00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,640 Speaker 1: house and to hand the girl over. Hey man, we're 717 00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:34,400 Speaker 1: losing the like and we just start just already okay, 718 00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:39,440 Speaker 1: and that's what is to get this and okay, claim man, 719 00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:41,560 Speaker 1: that's crazy. Man. I don't really follow Awards season, but 720 00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:43,680 Speaker 1: that's nuts. They got a whole new another one of 721 00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:48,000 Speaker 1: those go pro CCTV movies that just made Oscars nomination. 722 00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:50,560 Speaker 1: That's sick, man. So you say normally you don't follow 723 00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,839 Speaker 1: it though, No, I don't know. I don't know, man, 724 00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,439 Speaker 1: I mean I got I got Roger here. I feel 725 00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,520 Speaker 1: like this my truck has been filled, which is like 726 00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,879 Speaker 1: friends fro He's told me you didn't pick up hitchhikers. 727 00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:03,600 Speaker 1: But it seems like if you see a person on 728 00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:05,440 Speaker 1: the side of the road, you can't pass him up. 729 00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:08,080 Speaker 1: Just a second, now, I'm trying to make a point. 730 00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,120 Speaker 1: How is it you know so much about these here 731 00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,759 Speaker 1: Academy awards. Follow me out, just hear what's going on? 732 00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:18,400 Speaker 1: I follow? Uh? He knews advance. He's great. It's like 733 00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:23,399 Speaker 1: a serious podcaster. Okay, pull over, fellow there in the road, 734 00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:29,000 Speaker 1: don't hit out. Let's go. You gotta help me. I 735 00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:33,000 Speaker 1: think I killed my boss. Uh uh. I was trying 736 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:36,080 Speaker 1: to extract a magical cellary stock from his digestive track, 737 00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:40,080 Speaker 1: and then I saw the keebler elves. I think I 738 00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,279 Speaker 1: think I just might be hallucinating because I ate a 739 00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:48,240 Speaker 1: bunch of doughnut poofs. Okay, this is my body, buddy, Buddy, 740 00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:50,920 Speaker 1: calm down. Look, we're all running for something so much. 741 00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:55,200 Speaker 1: Please don't let him in here. You said he don't 742 00:49:55,239 --> 00:50:00,600 Speaker 1: pick up and got cut huh huh, And that was 743 00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:07,040 Speaker 1: a fantastic monologue. What's happening, what's happening? What's happening? You 744 00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:16,200 Speaker 1: tell everybody knows what's happening here? This iswer what half hour? 745 00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:20,640 Speaker 1: All right, that's large, sons of bitches. Oh good, you 746 00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:26,520 Speaker 1: tricked me. Sorry real quick. The police are here though, dude, guys, okay, 747 00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:35,239 Speaker 1: I did kill him him today, Oh man, just a 748 00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:39,880 Speaker 1: jolly gathering once more that ends in death. Let's thank you, 749 00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:44,600 Speaker 1: Jackie do Ruthie, thank you so much, damn it, thank 750 00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:47,600 Speaker 1: you for having me. What a good time? Yeah right, 751 00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:52,399 Speaker 1: oh yeah, Where can folks find you? Or what would 752 00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:57,040 Speaker 1: you like to direct them to? You know, Jackie, Ruthie 753 00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:02,520 Speaker 1: saw everywhere and I understand love the new billbook, my websites, 754 00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:07,920 Speaker 1: Jackie Gonzalez dot com that and that's what's up. A 755 00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:12,960 Speaker 1: little hyphen in there. No straight just all letters, letters, 756 00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:17,880 Speaker 1: letters followed by dot com com. It's super easy and 757 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,239 Speaker 1: it's very good. Do you still have the link there 758 00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:24,440 Speaker 1: to Chris's yes, yes, okay, yes, good good, which like 759 00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:29,160 Speaker 1: if you haven't visited it, because I have, Let's just 760 00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:33,800 Speaker 1: say we clicked leaving me my husband, like we clicked 761 00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:36,880 Speaker 1: Chris dash Alvarado dot com and we said, whoa, oh, 762 00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:42,720 Speaker 1: Hollywood's getting served up a bad boy coming in coming 763 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:48,840 Speaker 1: in hot. Chris, do you want to comment on the 764 00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:50,839 Speaker 1: coming in hot situation? Well, I do want to comment 765 00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,080 Speaker 1: on it's I used to have a link to your 766 00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:56,279 Speaker 1: instagram on my on my website, Jackie, did you ever 767 00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:59,160 Speaker 1: see that I had a link to your Instagram. I 768 00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:03,799 Speaker 1: had a link to j Ames is uh whatever the channel, Yeah, 769 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:07,000 Speaker 1: whatever the funk? And then I had Joey's um good 770 00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,120 Speaker 1: Night album. So I do want to say you used 771 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,600 Speaker 1: to be on there also, everybody, do you got Chris 772 00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:13,560 Speaker 1: nash Albert dot com. You look at the image she's 773 00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:19,000 Speaker 1: talking about. This is this is where the fuck I am? Yes, 774 00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:21,520 Speaker 1: because I'm how doing a drink. I don't drink anymore. 775 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:25,520 Speaker 1: The cigarette. I don't smoke anymore, that's right. But I 776 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,160 Speaker 1: still got that good hair and I look good in 777 00:52:27,239 --> 00:52:30,600 Speaker 1: the suit. Okay, actors, And that's what you're doing in 778 00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:33,799 Speaker 1: that photo. That's what I'm saying, Thank you, I'm done. 779 00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:38,040 Speaker 1: I'm done, Thanks for being here. Sure, Craigkowski again, still 780 00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:44,120 Speaker 1: drinking and smoking every morning at six am, buddy, right 781 00:52:44,160 --> 00:52:48,440 Speaker 1: after that dog walk. That is the Champions. Yeah. Uh, 782 00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:50,760 Speaker 1: you know, I recently promoted a bunch of different podcast 783 00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,160 Speaker 1: appearances that I did separately, but I'll do them all 784 00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:56,319 Speaker 1: in one place now, so you just have them together. Uh. 785 00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:59,239 Speaker 1: If you're a fan of the television show Community, six 786 00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:01,880 Speaker 1: Seasons in a Podcast is a fan podcast that recently 787 00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,080 Speaker 1: went on and talked about all my appearances on that 788 00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:07,080 Speaker 1: particular show. And uh, I did a little interview with 789 00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,799 Speaker 1: a gentleman in Vancouver, BC. It was a podcast called 790 00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:14,160 Speaker 1: Adventures an Improv where it kind of told some war 791 00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:17,040 Speaker 1: stories about my improv career. And then I don't think 792 00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,600 Speaker 1: it's come out yet, but hopefully soon. The Comedy Fixed 793 00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:23,320 Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado's podcast where we talked nuts and bolts comedy theory. 794 00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:26,440 Speaker 1: I had a blast doing that as well, So subscribe 795 00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:28,960 Speaker 1: and listen to all of those podcasts. Thank you for 796 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:33,400 Speaker 1: that wonderful James Heeney. I just can't wait for April 797 00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:37,399 Speaker 1: twenty four at five thirty p m. Pacific time, where 798 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:44,319 Speaker 1: we get to beyond digital. Not today, it's in one month. 799 00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:50,359 Speaker 1: It's a sketch Fest, Austin sketch Fest. Check it out. 800 00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:56,799 Speaker 1: Thanks James, and by us you mean okay, cool Joe, 801 00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:00,480 Speaker 1: did you know about this? I didn't and I guess 802 00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:05,440 Speaker 1: our alchemy. This instagram should have information on that as well, 803 00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:09,360 Speaker 1: and probably the Reddit page i'lchemy this pod and if not, 804 00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:14,399 Speaker 1: Chris dash Alvarado dot com we'll have every information. Yeah, 805 00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:17,719 Speaker 1: you gotta have a link to the fest And thanks 806 00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:20,440 Speaker 1: again Craig for that. Uh and thank you James for 807 00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:25,640 Speaker 1: stepping in from Mr Doug Bane let's help. Thank you 808 00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:31,279 Speaker 1: find folks at my Heart Media, and thank you all 809 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,719 Speaker 1: for giving a good dash darn. We love having you 810 00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,520 Speaker 1: join us, and please write to us and every which 811 00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,799 Speaker 1: way you can let us know your thoughts and um, 812 00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:43,600 Speaker 1: we love your involvement in this show. As much or 813 00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:46,640 Speaker 1: as little as you'd like. Be kind to each other always, 814 00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:51,120 Speaker 1: it's the easiest route. And please still if you wouldn't 815 00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:56,000 Speaker 1: mind wear a damn mask when you go outside. All right, 816 00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:59,840 Speaker 1: that's our show for today, I remember. Until next time, welcome, 817 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:00,440 Speaker 1: Gonna call