WEBVTT - 32 Resolutions For 32 Teams 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:16.280 No, no, no, come on, no, come come home, come home. 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:22.880 On this episode of the Heat Check, It's New Year's Eve, people, 0:00:23.680 --> 0:00:25.560 It's New Year's Eve. So I thought I would do 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:29.600 something a little fun. It is that time of year again. 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:34.000 You have made it through Thanksgiving and Christmas. You've slogged 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:38.000 through airports with your N ninety five mask on, and 0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:41.120 kids screaming and throwing up at dogs, probably peeing and 0:00:41.159 --> 0:00:45.519 pooping in the concourse, diet tribes about COVID from your 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:50.160 drunk uncle, probably a Maga bro somewhere in there, telling 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:52.560 you that it's all a hoax. And now you stare 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:56.680 yourself in the mirror and it's New Year's Day and 0:00:56.720 --> 0:01:01.040 you make a promise to yourself. This is where shit changes. 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:05.679 Twenty two. I'm going to be a new me. I 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:09.880 decided to give out New Year's resolutions for all thirty 0:01:09.880 --> 0:01:14.240 teams from Atlanta to Utah. We've got all the motivation 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:18.360 these teams need to make it through another year in 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:23.200 a better place, better franchises, with growth, prosperity, and more love. 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:25.920 This one should be fun. So drop that motherfucking beat 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:47.880 rock like this right now, starting today, New Year's resolution. 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:51.360 So today in the spirit of giving, which I am 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:56.160 so famous for. Ask my friends so thoughtful, they say, 0:01:56.320 --> 0:02:00.360 I am going to bestow upon the entire NBA a 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:03.720 new Year's resolution in the hopes that every player and 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:08.359 every team prospers even more except for Philadelphia in twenty 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:13.560 twenty two. Let's start team by team in athebetic alphabetical order. 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:20.280 Atlanta Hawks find a new workout routine. I mean, yeah, 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:24.160 this team needs to pick up how yoga or plates. 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:26.919 They're always hurt. They need to stretch it out, they 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:29.360 need to get more limber. This thing is like whack 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:32.280 them all. Every time someone comes out of protocol or 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:34.920 out of injury, another one goes down. What they really 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:38.680 need probably is a whole new training staff to find 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:42.360 a way to stay healthy, somehow, some way get yourself 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:46.600 in order health wise. Because this is, if not the 0:02:46.639 --> 0:02:50.320 injured most injured team, they're definitely in the top of 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:54.720 teams that are consistently out. Yeah. I mean, and as 0:02:54.800 --> 0:03:00.120 much as I enjoy seeing Lemon Pepperlou come off the 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:04.440 bench in for Trey Young in the Eastern Conference Finals, 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:08.880 no one wants to see that this time around. Boston 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:15.320 Celtics nurture true friendships. This one's good. I feel the 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:19.160 Celtics New Year's resolution for twenty twenty two should be 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:24.080 defined peace and harmony in the locker room because Kemba 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:27.880 Walker wasn't the problem, folks. And maybe, just maybe the 0:03:27.919 --> 0:03:32.280 problem or problems are still there and has a first 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:35.320 name that begins with jay. I'm not sure. And so 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:40.680 how do the Celtics fix their friendship problems? Maybe find 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:45.440 a nice retreat, you know, weekend at Martha's Vineyards. Do 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:49.960 some trust tree work, you know, lean back into the 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:53.680 arms of Dennis Shrewder. Find a nice house on Martha's vineyard. 0:03:54.600 --> 0:03:58.120 I know it's the winter, but play board games, maybe 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:03.600 some Jega drake cot chocolate, share stories about all of 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:07.200 the trauma and how you can't get over it and 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:11.960 why that's why your relationship with your mother is preventing 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:16.200 you from passing the ball when you're double teamed. And 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:18.440 maybe if it doesn't work, just trade one of those 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:22.479 toxic gas players and bringing the vibes down like either what, 0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:29.160 I don't care, Brooklyn Nets find a side hustle. Kyrie 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:33.240 Irving has somehow managed to work his way into this 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:36.359 lineup halftime. What will he be doing with all his 0:04:36.480 --> 0:04:42.760 extra time, hopefully getting vaccinated plant based vaccine. Maybe try 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:46.000 a new cooking routine. Maybe reading a few more books 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:52.880 on immunu virology or geology or geography. The world is 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:56.680 not flat. Perhaps maybe even finding his way to a 0:04:56.720 --> 0:04:59.200 new religion. I think this is his third in three 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:02.040 years that he's tr try it out. Maybe sharing some 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:08.840 lotion with his teammates. Sure, maybe making new lotions, maybe 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:12.400 new oils and lotions and tinctures for his man KD. 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:17.400 They are good friends, Charlotte, hornets work on creating a 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:21.080 more balanced Listen, Charlotte, we all love seeing you in transition. 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:27.080 I love seeing Lamello ball diming Kelly Ubray or Miles 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:32.520 Bridges uber chucking from three. But don't you feel that 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:36.000 shooting fifty percent and still from three and still being 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:39.720 down twenty is draining? Like, don't you feel that maybe 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:42.920 a more balanced attack could help you win some more games. 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:46.599 I know you have a plumble, but play some fucking defense. Try, 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:50.400 just try to play defense, so you don't play zone 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:53.200 all day and night either, Folks Like, why don't you 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:58.840 figure out how to play defense? Literally? Maybe, just maybe 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:02.680 you won't need to scramble back down thirty in the 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:06.279 second half. Every single night it hurts me as a better. 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:11.719 My heart is always shaken up by this Chicago Bulls 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:19.520 a tick. Time to appreciate your accomplishments. Nobody, nobody has 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:21.919 been more surprising this year than the Bulls. Maybe this 0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:25.800 is Cleveland Cavaliers, so their resolution should really be to 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:29.680 stop and smell the flowers. You're not a real contender, 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:32.680 but so enjoy a ride, you know what I mean. 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:36.080 Like you're about to be like the surprise Mac team 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:40.440 that makes the Sweet sixteen and everyone knows they're about 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:43.000 to get their doors blown off by Duke, but before 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:48.520 they do, who knows. It's all possibilities. You know you're 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:52.080 gonna turn into a pumpkin because you're not for real, 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.880 but you're close and you did this basically overnight. You 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:59.360 may lose zach Lavine in free agency, but is here 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:05.080 right now. Appreciate him. Appreciate this moment because just like 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:09.000 it all came together so fast, it could all just disappeared, 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:14.520 just like that. Cleveland Cavaliers, get over your ex. Listen, 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:18.800 Lebron's never coming back. I know you loved him, I 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:21.080 know he was there for I know you guys went 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:22.880 through some hardship, and he came back to you, and 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:24.640 then he left you again. But I do not think 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:27.000 three times as a charm. It's time to move on 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:31.120 for your supermodel X who moved to LA and found 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:34.520 someone so much better. I know you're in a tailspin 0:07:34.880 --> 0:07:39.239 that you involved hitting rock bottom. Rock Bottom is now over. 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:43.920 It's time for you to forget about your ex. Twenty 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:46.600 two or less wins and four straight games. You know 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:49.440 they've been awful, and you've cleaned your act up and 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:51.600 you're back on the market and you're looking good. So 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:55.400 keep playing that all seven foot lineup, keep climbing those 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:58.080 standings in the east. Who cares about what he's doing. 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:02.600 He's struggling right now. He misses you. He won't tell you, 0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:06.080 but he misses you, and that's you. You should relish 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:11.080 in that as a soft six in the NBA market 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:15.320 six point two. Maybe the fact that a ten point 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:18.880 zero is missing you should be all you really need 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:22.480 to know. Revel in the fact that he is in 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:26.960 a dilapidated sinking ship in LA. But don't be too 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:31.000 bitter about it. You're not a lifeboat and his lifeboat 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:36.160 is nowhere in sight. Sometimes the best revenge is just success, 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:40.480 just living well. The best revenge is living well. The 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:44.000 sun is shining again in Cleveland. By the way, any 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.120 update on Rubio, I'm not sure. I think he tours. 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:51.680 They see all. He's out for the year. Dallas Mavericks, Yeah, 0:08:51.679 --> 0:08:54.079 this one's hard. You gotta learn the lessons from your 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:58.760 failures this year. No team needs to self reflect about 0:08:58.760 --> 0:09:02.960 their past transgression more than the Dallas Mavericks. We're wing. 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:07.839 The MAVs had all those sexual harassment claims and apparently 0:09:08.679 --> 0:09:11.360 Mark Cuban didn't do anything about it, and then he 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:13.480 was under fire, and Luca ran all of his coaches 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:16.559 in front office away, and then the new coach had 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:18.840 a book written about him because he didn't let his 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:22.000 players go home for Christmas and ran one of them 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:25.640 completely into insanity out of the league forever. Like I 0:09:25.679 --> 0:09:28.200 think all of those things were teachable moments, you know 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:33.320 what I'm saying. So, Jason Kidd, if someone wants to 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:38.120 go home and see their family during the holidays, let them. Luca, 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:41.280 I know you played hard for Slovenia, but you chilled 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:45.880 a little bit too much. Too many carbs, not enough. Cardio. 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:49.760 Next off season, maybe spend some time in la Maybe 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:54.760 just go a pescatarian diet instead of a plantain ship 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:59.320 diet cake diet. MAVs are a team we're all waiting 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:01.720 for to take the next step, and the reason and 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:04.960 the way that they do that is learning from their 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:09.240 ghosts of the past. Denver Nuggets need to start a 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:14.480 dream journal. They do. Remember you guys were in the 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:18.840 Western Conference finals in the bubble. What time to be alive? 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:22.280 That was your ceiling. It's time now to keep a 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:24.440 journal of all the things that you wish for and 0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:27.000 hope for that will never come true. Like you think 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:31.080 you have an MVP, which you do, but the guy 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.640 on the wing has a back injury and we're not 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:36.280 sure what's going to happen. Jamal Murray coming off of 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:39.720 an ACL who knows when he'll be healthy. They're both 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:43.600 out indefinitely. Y'all get just having a record. You're probably 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:48.000 the best player efficiency rating in history, in history, So 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:52.120 fill your dream trouble, fill your dream journal of all 0:10:52.200 --> 0:10:55.600 those times in the bubble of double doubles, and hope 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:59.320 Yo Kich might somehow someway find a new team to 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:06.240 prosper on. Oh Detroit Pistons. Your resolution should be to 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:12.479 practice patients. The harsh truth is that Detroit for the 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:14.880 second straight year, is going to be the worst team 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:18.120 in the NBA. And you know what, that's good. That's 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:23.240 a good thing. Be patient. Adding Chet Holmgren or Palo 0:11:23.360 --> 0:11:27.559 Benkero to Caid Cunningham sit in Sadik Pey. You might 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:31.720 go from winning fifteen games to winning thirty games. That's 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:35.800 double your record. Sure, you're gonna be ten point plus 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:40.000 dogs in so so many games this year, but you're 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:43.040 probably also going to trade Jeremy Grant for another first rounder. 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:46.680 So who knows. If you trust the process, in five years, 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:54.560 maybe you'll be a playing team. Golden State Warriors twenty 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:58.480 twenty two, you should build a better budget. If there's 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:01.040 one new Year's resolution that will help the Warriors in 0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:04.160 the long run, it's a vow to save more money. 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:08.760 We all remember Kelly Ubray costs this team seventy million 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:12.280 dollars last year. Yeah he did that? Was that happened? 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:15.720 That was absurd. They're projected to spend another one hundred 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:21.679 and sixty million dollars in luxury tax payments alone. That 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:25.400 is a shitload of money for guys like b Alicha 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:31.800 and Otto Porter Junior and Iguadala. Come on, folks, figure 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:34.040 something out, get rid of the dead weight and save 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:38.480 yourself some money. It's like when I buy a million 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:41.040 quartatos a day, did I need that fourth one? Like? 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:44.520 Did you really need a bi Alicha? Did you really 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.800 need an extra guy on the off the bench? No 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:51.920 you didn't, Houston Rockets, It's time for you to clean 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:54.680 out your closet. You're a lot of fun, but you 0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:57.240 have a forty one million dollar skeleton just sitting there 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:01.080 in the closet that needs to be gone. He's not 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:03.959 even keeping quiet anymore in the back of the corner. 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.440 He's taking up a lot of space. It's time to 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:10.240 up here and in your heart and out in the 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:13.520 world on social media. Time to set John Wall free. People, 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:18.480 May I suggest donating to another team. You're not going 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:22.240 to sell this old ass sweater on eBay. No one 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:26.559 wants to pay for it. Just take the listing down. 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:30.880 Come on, now, set him free. He set him free. 0:13:30.920 --> 0:13:35.960 The Clippers might want him. There's a few teams willing 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:38.880 to take a chance on John Wall, but probably not 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:43.040 for forty one million dollars. So allow yourself to buy 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:46.480 some new sweaters that you actually will wear and put 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:49.160 on the court instead of this forty one million dollars 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:53.840 sweater with mothballs in them, or Nacy al tear too. 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:58.200 Indiana Pacers, I almost forgot to write you down. I 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:01.880 wrote all thirty other twenty nine teams down and I 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:07.440 had not Pacers be a team? Is it the Indiana 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:11.760 mad ass? Update your resume? Uh, you're a team that 0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:14.720 is so forgettable. I didn't even put you on this list. 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:18.040 No franchise in the NBA wants star players less on 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:22.000 their team than the Pacers. Rick Carlisle did not sign 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:24.400 up for this bullshit. He did not sign up to 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:27.720 take a job to rebuild a new team. They have 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:30.400 a team full of like middle of the road. You 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:33.560 call them stars, you can call them like celestial beings. 0:14:33.600 --> 0:14:35.440 I don't know if they're stars, but they're in the 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:40.000 celestial situation. And this team treats them like scrubs. They 0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:42.080 have a team full of guys that they treat like 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.440 g leaguers. They don't want to rebuild, but they want 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:48.480 to treat every piece. Figure out what you want to do, 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:52.600 and if you don't get your resume ready, because new 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:56.440 people will come in and take that fucking job, La Clippers. 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:58.320 You don't need to buy things you don't need in 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:00.920 twenty twenty two, like we know this team isn't the 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:04.160 same without Kawhi, and now with PG out at least 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:07.640 a month, panic is now set in. The Clippers need 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:10.200 to fight the urge to do something dumb like training 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:13.840 for John Wall, that old ass sweater. Listen, just wait, 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:17.120 be patient. Houston Rockets might just fucking leave him on 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:22.280 the street. I got I got a chandelier for free 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:26.720 in my loading knock. Who knows what you could get 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:29.280 if you wait along, If you wait long enough, John 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:32.040 Wall might just be there sitting by the dumpster for you. 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:36.800 Come on now, folks, they've already made the mistake in 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:39.160 the PG trade, because let's face it, wouldn't you rather 0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:42.760 have had Shay and all those first rounders to pair 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:46.200 with Kawhi than Paul George, who's also injury prone, to 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:49.920 pair with another guy that's injury prone, Like, come on now, 0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:51.960 that would be a top four team in the West 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:55.360 right now. And instead that's what you ended up getting 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:58.760 because you spent some money on things that you didn't need. 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:02.280 So don't do anything to mess this up again, La 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:04.720 Lakers in twenty twenty two. I think you should consider therapy. 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:08.400 We all lean on our friends and teammates for support, 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:11.440 don't we. But sometimes it gets to a point where 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:14.800 you need professional help. Gets to a point where you 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:18.000 can't put all those troubles on the outside world and 0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:20.720 all the people who aren't qualified to hear all of 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:26.800 your problems. Maybe spend some time up in the Bay 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.800 and go into a place where you know you can 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.640 see regular therapy. They can give you all your meals 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:36.280 COVID's everywhere. You're celebrating a win over the Houston Rockets. 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:39.840 That's how bad it is. You're celebrating a win over 0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:43.120 the Houston Rockets like you beat the Bucks in the 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:46.560 NBA Finals. You clearly need help. It's time. This is 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:50.320 the year to get it. Time to reshift your lens 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:54.480 on what the meaning of success is. Go inward because 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:59.280 the championship can no longer be your goal. It's just 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:03.720 keeping Lebron James healthy. Memphis Grizzlies, It's time to keep 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:08.200 a journal. It's time for you to think about keeping 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:11.359 receipts of all the haters, of people who said that 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:15.480 this team is nothing with John Morant. Grizzlies are rolling. 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:19.240 The Grizzlies are rolling and are in danger in the 0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:22.280 playoffs this year. I could see them beating Utah And 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:27.040 if they do, you need to just make sure to 0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:29.480 look it back at all of your accomplishments, all of 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:33.200 the adversity that you faced, and look over all you overcame. 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:38.600 Because those voices right now are loud. People are currently saying, 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:43.520 at this very moment, you are better without jaw. Imagine 0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:48.000 how sweet it will feel to reread all of those 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:53.800 quotes when they come so very clearly wrong. Miami Heat, 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:57.280 it's time to meet new people, time to expand your 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:00.399 friend group. Miami Heat just canceled the game because couldn't 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:06.000 field eight players against the Spurs. Yeah, no team needs 0:18:06.080 --> 0:18:10.919 more depth than the Miami Heat. Yep, that just happened today. 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:14.720 May I suggest a g League mixer or perhaps a 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:17.760 meet and greet with other gms to add some more 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:21.480 depth to this piece, because pat Riley needs to add 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:24.040 link to a bench or we're gonna see you Donnis 0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:28.959 Haslam in crunch time and that means night night sleep 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:35.640 mask and just Jimmy Butler starting a coffee franchise milakee Bucks. 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.840 Take time to compliment yourself. This is very important. In 0:18:39.880 --> 0:18:44.920 twenty twenty two. You're NBA champions. No one will ever 0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:48.119 take that away from you. Despite the fact that you 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:50.760 were a shoe print away from not making the Eastern 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:55.000 Conference Finals, or the fact that Trey Young almost bounced 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:57.080 you out of the Eastern Conference Finals, or how you 0:18:57.160 --> 0:18:59.880 went down two o to the Suns and needed Chris 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:03.320 Paul to break his wrist in order to win it all. 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:09.440 None of that is important information. Revel in your success. 0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:14.560 What is important is that Jannis recently said his next 0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:18.679 challenge might not be in Milwaukee. So compliment yourself on 0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:21.840 giving him all of the pieces that he needed in 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:25.080 order to feel completely content to move on to a 0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:29.760 new chapter that's not here. At any moment, that time 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:34.120 could come to a close. Minnesota Timberwolves, twenty twenty two 0:19:34.160 --> 0:19:37.480 is the time for you to reinvent yourself. You know, 0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:40.280 and we know that you've been the worst franchise in 0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:43.600 the NBA for maybe even all of sports for a 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:46.320 while now. But now you've got a real owner, and 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:48.440 you've got a real coach, and you've got an exciting 0:19:48.520 --> 0:19:52.800 roster instead of a franchise built around a kitty cat. 0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:56.320 You finally got yourself a pit bull in Aunt Edwards. 0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:58.800 So get yourself a new wardrobe. You know what I mean. 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:03.840 Time for you to remake everything that we know about you. 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:06.800 Don't be attached to the dogshit franchise that you used 0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:10.480 to be. Things are different now. Ditch those sweater vests, 0:20:12.080 --> 0:20:15.560 ditch those button ups and those little hobbit shoes that 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:20.440 you used to wear. It's time for you to change 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:25.880 your entire wardrobe. Everything that you think is right about 0:20:26.000 --> 0:20:31.040 style is time to go. Move forward. It's a new 0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:35.520 era for the Minnesota Timberwolves. If Aunt Edwards wouldn't wear it, 0:20:35.560 --> 0:20:39.399 then neither should you. New Orleans Pelicans. It's time to stick. 0:20:39.840 --> 0:20:42.280 We know what this one is. Don't we stick to 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:50.159 healthy habits? Looking I use ion, steak and cake Williamson, Zion, 0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:57.800 Welcome to the Smoothie King Arena where we had It's 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:03.959 six ten, four hundred in twenty five pounds Zion sticking 0:21:04.320 --> 0:21:11.480 cake Williamson. To be clear, in case you didn't hear 0:21:11.600 --> 0:21:13.600 the irony, it's a fat That was a fat joke. 0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:17.520 But I'm not just talking about food. We're talking about 0:21:18.160 --> 0:21:21.760 We're talking about healthy habits inward as well, sticking to 0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:26.119 your word, being the person that you would like to 0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:31.119 be your neighbor, treating you know, love the neighbors, treat yourself, 0:21:31.280 --> 0:21:34.080 treat what does it treat others like you would like 0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:37.520 to treat yourself. I don't know. When you tell JJ 0:21:37.680 --> 0:21:39.480 Reddick that you're gonna send him to a New York 0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:42.639 team and he ends and ends up in Dallas at 0:21:42.680 --> 0:21:47.359 the trade deadline, the only person you're hurting is yourself. 0:21:47.880 --> 0:21:52.480 They share him and Zion share the same agent. How 0:21:52.520 --> 0:21:54.919 big of an asshole? How do you have you have 0:21:55.080 --> 0:21:58.720 to be in order to get the world's nicest guy? 0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:03.720 Alvin Gentry to threatened to be dress. Come on now, 0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:08.280 this man's seventy years old, and he was like, come 0:22:08.520 --> 0:22:12.960 and get this. Come catch these hands. Take a look 0:22:13.240 --> 0:22:17.760 at yourself in the mirror. Be less toxic and choose 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:22.560 less toxic strategies for your franchise before no one wants 0:22:22.600 --> 0:22:27.719 to be around you. New York Nicks take a trip 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:32.560 somewhere with no destination in mind. Probably the most perfect 0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:35.200 TIBs resolution of all times. I would say he's been 0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:38.359 taking trips as a heads coach with no destination in 0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:42.520 mind for pretty much his entire career, and this year, 0:22:42.560 --> 0:22:44.720 I think it's gonna be all about the road trip, 0:22:44.960 --> 0:22:46.640 getting out in the world, you know what I mean? 0:22:46.720 --> 0:22:52.280 Without itinerary, hit the road, get some snacks, and forget 0:22:52.280 --> 0:22:55.160 about the fact that you are currently in Check's notes 0:22:55.359 --> 0:22:57.639 tenth place in the East when you were in fourth 0:22:57.680 --> 0:23:00.000 place in the East last year. That does not matter. 0:23:01.040 --> 0:23:04.679 It's all about the journey. It's all about the vibes. 0:23:05.040 --> 0:23:09.560 And you've got Campbell, Walker and Evan Fournee for the 0:23:09.600 --> 0:23:15.359 rest of the year. Oklahoma City, it's time for you 0:23:15.400 --> 0:23:18.600 to embrace spontaneity. In twenty twenty two. You literally have 0:23:18.800 --> 0:23:22.280 all every draft pick from now until twenty thirty five? 0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:25.439 Can you use one? Can we have you use one? 0:23:25.560 --> 0:23:28.600 There are players to be gotten. There are desperate teams 0:23:28.600 --> 0:23:31.240 out here with no draft capital that will trade their 0:23:31.240 --> 0:23:34.359 star for some young pieces. It's time for you to 0:23:34.400 --> 0:23:39.159 do something new. Don't sell this time around. Bye. It's okay. 0:23:39.400 --> 0:23:41.560 Shay is the face of the franchise. He needs some help. 0:23:42.160 --> 0:23:44.280 It's just you can't have it. Just be him and 0:23:44.400 --> 0:23:46.879 Josh Giddy and forty five draft picks till the end 0:23:46.920 --> 0:23:48.960 of the time. You keep rolling over like you might 0:23:49.040 --> 0:23:53.160 be able to steal cam Reddish, get to two draft picks, 0:23:53.200 --> 0:23:55.680 maybe a piece, get cam Bridish from the Hawks. They'll 0:23:55.720 --> 0:23:58.560 do it. They have a salary cap issue here, folks. 0:23:59.080 --> 0:24:03.960 Teams can transform themselves overnight. We know that tomorrow isn't promised. 0:24:04.520 --> 0:24:08.200 Shay could turn into Paul George at any moment. Wouldn't 0:24:08.200 --> 0:24:10.840 that be a shame? Go get another piece to pair 0:24:10.880 --> 0:24:15.679 with Sga and Giddy before he decides, Hey, maybe this 0:24:15.720 --> 0:24:22.040 isn't working, Orlando Magic, this one's important. Twenty twenty two, 0:24:22.440 --> 0:24:25.359 I think you need Your resolution needs to be to 0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:28.960 defend yourself, to defend yourself, to learn how to defend yourself, 0:24:29.000 --> 0:24:33.600 because aren't you tired of all of the slander? Aren't 0:24:33.600 --> 0:24:37.160 you tired of being twenty point dogs every single night? 0:24:37.320 --> 0:24:41.560 Aren't you tired of me saying your franchise isn't even 0:24:41.600 --> 0:24:45.640 worth watching on television? Or Adam Silver scheduling you only 0:24:45.760 --> 0:24:49.000 twice all year on national TV, both times the same 0:24:49.000 --> 0:24:56.440 week during March madness? Folks, every time I slander and 0:24:56.720 --> 0:25:00.680 or anyone slanders you, all you do you guys say 0:25:00.800 --> 0:25:06.720 back is yeah we are really bad? Fight back. It's time. 0:25:06.760 --> 0:25:09.560 In twenty twenty two to say something, Say well, Trista, 0:25:10.520 --> 0:25:14.320 how is Portland doing? How's Dame gonna do? Maybe Dame 0:25:14.359 --> 0:25:17.440 wants to leave your dogshit franchise. Look at you talking 0:25:17.800 --> 0:25:26.080 employ some of the tactics that say Philadelphia uses venom, gaslighting, deflection. 0:25:27.000 --> 0:25:31.000 Straw Man arguments, the world next year is your oyster. 0:25:31.480 --> 0:25:37.199 Don't just be a doormat, folks. You can't be the 0:25:37.240 --> 0:25:40.960 Sacramento Kings of the East. You're better than that. Seventy 0:25:41.000 --> 0:25:43.879 six ers. It's time to say goodbye in twenty twenty 0:25:43.880 --> 0:25:48.399 two to toxic friends. It may feel impossible now, but 0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:51.240 there is a way to break up with a once 0:25:51.320 --> 0:25:53.960 friend turn in front of me without blowing up your franchise. 0:25:55.000 --> 0:25:58.400 Sometimes ghosting is appropriate, but in this case, I think 0:25:58.400 --> 0:26:00.880 a trade makes the most sense. Moosting has been kind 0:26:00.880 --> 0:26:04.480 of what you have been doing. This can get everyone 0:26:04.640 --> 0:26:08.080 the closure that they need. And if you can't move 0:26:08.960 --> 0:26:13.080 Ben Simmons with Darryl Moury, then maybe it's time to 0:26:13.240 --> 0:26:19.720 move on from Darryl Moury. Maybe they're both toxic phoenix suns. 0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:21.960 It's time to let go of grudges. In twenty twenty two, 0:26:22.000 --> 0:26:23.960 I know your owner has been accused of pretty much 0:26:23.960 --> 0:26:33.800 everything under the sun, everyism, racism, sexism, agism, classism, flatchialism. 0:26:34.080 --> 0:26:36.640 I know it's been hanging over you all season. It's 0:26:36.720 --> 0:26:41.160 time to let it go. Only by moving on can 0:26:41.200 --> 0:26:43.639 DeAndre ay and get back to being the monster that 0:26:43.720 --> 0:26:48.240