Speaker 1: Hello, Hey Champions, Simon, your mom's boyfriend. How are you
Speaker 1: Goodn't you not too bad? Everything's coming up? Roses over here. Listen.
Speaker 1: I'm just calling because your mom and I are super
Speaker 1: excited to have you come visit, so I thought i'd
Speaker 1: reach out. Oh yeah, man, I'm excited to come visit
Speaker 1: and looking forward to meeting you. Yeah, and don't worry
Speaker 1: for your visit. Your mom and I'll try to keep
Speaker 1: it down for you. What just kidding? Well okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, like I said, I'm looking forward to meeting
Speaker 1: you for the first time. She speaks pretty highly of you,
Speaker 1: so yeah, So I wanted to touch base and go
Speaker 1: over a couple of things before you swing by. Is
Speaker 1: that all right? Sure? What you want to talk about? Well,
Speaker 1: I was hoping once you get in you and I
Speaker 1: could spend a little quality time together, maybe go to
Speaker 1: the park or something, to teach out to throw a baseball,
Speaker 1: throw baseball. Yeah, yeah, we never had that opportunity when
Speaker 1: you were growing up, so I figured why not do
Speaker 1: it now I've made I appreciate it, But like I
Speaker 1: didn't get to see my mom so rarely that I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm happy to hang out together, but I don't really
Speaker 1: want to go throw a baseball. Yeah, I'm just messing
Speaker 1: with you. I know you can throw a ball. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's you know, I'm kind of your new dad,
Speaker 1: So I thought i'd like a joke you're not my dad. Well,
Speaker 1: well for now I'm not. Well, I mean, you're never
Speaker 1: really gonna be my dad. I already have one of those. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well that's why I wanted to call and talk to you. Okay,
Speaker 1: so about my dad. The thing is, when you come
Speaker 1: here to visit, I'm going to be popping the question
Speaker 1: to your mom and i'd love to get your blessing.
Speaker 1: Excuse me, M that's right, son, I'm gonna be doing it.
Speaker 1: Well on what I'm not your son? First off, but
Speaker 1: you've started dating two months ago, Like, this is way
Speaker 1: too early to be proposing. I mean, I don't think
Speaker 1: you guys are older, but like, um, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: say it. You're being very disrespectful right now. I'm being disrespectful.
Speaker 1: You're calling me. We've never met, and you want me
Speaker 1: to give you the blessing to propose to my mom
Speaker 1: and the first time I meet you. Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: going to say that when you visit you have a
Speaker 1: bedtime at ten o'clock, but if you want to keep
Speaker 1: back in this way, we can push it to nine. Hey, man,
Speaker 1: cut the crap. I'm not your son. You can't talk
Speaker 1: to me like this. I don't know where you get
Speaker 1: off thinking you can. Okay, it sounds to me like
Speaker 1: somebody needs a time out. Time out? Are you kidding me? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I am an adult. Like have you seen
Speaker 1: pictures often as your new dad. You need to start
Speaker 1: treating my dad. Okay, well, yes I am, and you
Speaker 1: need to start treating me with some respect or no
Speaker 1: more video games. Do you hear yourself? I'm thirty two
Speaker 1: years old. Quit talking to me like I'm a little kid.
Speaker 1: You sound like a moron. One more smart Alec comment
Speaker 1: like that, and I'm taking the Xbox away? Whose xbox?
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? I don't play video game
Speaker 1: and I'll have you know I bought you an Xbox
Speaker 1: for when you come visit, and I'm about to take
Speaker 1: it away. Hey, look weird. Though I don't need gifts
Speaker 1: from you, I don't want anything from you. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: give you to the count of three to apologize and
Speaker 1: change your attitude. Mister, do not believe this. Two and
Speaker 1: a half, oh and three quarters. I'm waiting for a sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for a sorry. Keep waiting, man, you're a joke.
Speaker 1: There's no way I'm ever going to apology. Okay, look,
Speaker 1: I just can't do it. I was gonna get to
Speaker 1: three and I just I love you so much I couldn't.
Speaker 1: You don't even know me. I know so much about you, though,
Speaker 1: because your mom and I are so close. We're talking
Speaker 1: to me like you know me. I just can't wait
Speaker 1: to see you and give you a big hug and
Speaker 1: kiss when you get here. Man, if you're gonna try
Speaker 1: to pull that kind of I'm not coming. Look the
Speaker 1: moment my mom finds out to see you've been saying
Speaker 1: to me your relationship's done. Oh well I have news
Speaker 1: for you, chief. Your mom's right here, she's heard everything
Speaker 1: she knows. No, she's not. She wouldn't sit there listen
Speaker 1: that if she has put her on the phone. You
Speaker 1: want to talk her, Okay, you ask for it. You
Speaker 1: want me to put your mom on the phone, Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: hold on, Oh please, hey, sweet as it's mommy. What
Speaker 1: are you doing? Then start listening to your new daddy
Speaker 1: because if you don't, Oh my god, you give us
Speaker 1: books to speaking. How crazy are you? Men? Do you
Speaker 1: not think I know my mom's own voice? This is not.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, dude, you're a psychopath. How the hell
Speaker 1: she found you do not know? But like I'm calling
Speaker 1: her now to just deal with Well, she found me
Speaker 1: because this is a prank phone call, so her new
Speaker 1: boyfriend is plank calling me to think that like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is gonna get off to a great start. How
Speaker 1: crazy are you? No, this isn't her new boyfriend. This
Speaker 1: is actually Jewel from Brook and Jewel in the morning
Speaker 1: doing a phone tap on you. What it's a prank.
Speaker 1: Your mom set you up. She said you're meeting your
Speaker 1: new boyfriend this weekend and she wanted to mess with you.
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? No, I'm not. So you're not
Speaker 1: dating my mom? No with a kid like you. No,
Speaker 1: absolutely not. Oh my god. I would still like for
Speaker 1: you to think about us throwing a baseball together, though,
Speaker 1: No way, Hey, don't call me names like that or
Speaker 1: I will have to ground you. I will do it, Okay, dads,
Speaker 1: whatever you say