Speaker 1: Scott You ready, Curty b I'm ready to laugh and
Speaker 1: laugh and laugh.
Speaker 2: Someone bought a Temu croissant lamp that ended up being
Speaker 2: an actual croissant.
Speaker 1: Oh God, I wish I knew more about Timu. All right, well,
Speaker 1: let's sink our teeth into a brand new episode of
Speaker 1: the non award winning Bananas podcasting.
Speaker 3: World unders would you sillion pieces?
Speaker 4: Would banana.
Speaker 2: Guys, gals, non binary pals. Welcome to the Bananas Podcast.
Speaker 5: I'm Kirk Brown Older.
Speaker 1: I'm banana boy number two. Scotty Landis. Thank you for
Speaker 1: listening to the silliest little podcast there was. We love
Speaker 1: you wherever you are. Give yourself a break, Come inside
Speaker 1: your own mind right now, give yourself a little compliment
Speaker 1: that nobody else knows. You're giving yourself feel good today.
Speaker 2: And if you live in Vermont or dare I even
Speaker 2: say it, Canada, I'm gonna be at Burlington the Vermont
Speaker 2: Comedy Club October tenth, eleventh, and twelfth, Thursday Friday Saturday night.
Speaker 2: Go go give yourself a treat. The new hour is
Speaker 2: tight and it's ready.
Speaker 1: To go, folks.
Speaker 5: It's good.
Speaker 1: I heard it in Denver and I laughed so hard
Speaker 1: I almost threw up. I was laughing so hard.
Speaker 5: Today.
Speaker 2: Our guest is an impressive, impressive stand up comedian. It's
Speaker 2: a powerful writer, yeah, and a girth the actor. You
Speaker 2: can hear her voice on Bob's Burger's Fairview, Aquitine Forever,
Speaker 2: and many many more, and her gut achingly good comedy
Speaker 2: special Live from the Big Dog is available everywhere right now.
Speaker 2: Please welcome the amazing Please welcome back to the show,
Speaker 2: the amazing Blair Saki.
Speaker 6: Wow, Oh my god. What's up.
Speaker 4: Banana's Gang? Yeah, Banana Team, Yeah group. I'm thrilled to
Speaker 4: be back.
Speaker 6: Gosh.
Speaker 4: A couple of my favorite guys here.
Speaker 1: Hi, how are you? It's good to see you. Have
Speaker 1: you been touring or have you been in La doing
Speaker 1: La stuff?
Speaker 6: I was touring a lot this summer.
Speaker 4: Have a little break right now, but yeah, super fun.
Speaker 4: I have a you guys, how are you so good?
Speaker 1: I mean really good, honestly fantastic.
Speaker 2: We have microphones with our names on them. That's how
Speaker 2: good we're doing.
Speaker 6: That's incredible, Banana boys.
Speaker 1: I found a wallet yesterday. So I was walking in
Speaker 1: to get some lunch and I just saw the thickest
Speaker 1: wallet I've ever seen in my life, Like there was
Speaker 1: an a sort of Seinfeld where George Standsa's wallet is
Speaker 1: so thick it like hurts his back or whatever. So
Speaker 1: I find it looked like a club sandwich sitting on
Speaker 1: the curb, and so I picked it up and I
Speaker 1: opened it. All the cash is in there, licenses in there.
Speaker 1: It's a dude from Massachusetts, and then like five credit cards,
Speaker 1: a ton of hotel keys, and a social Security card.
Speaker 1: What this person was about to lose their whole life, or.
Speaker 4: Maybe they were on the run because they just committed
Speaker 4: a grave crime.
Speaker 1: Well I considered that too, and I did count the
Speaker 1: amount of cash because I thought maybe if this is
Speaker 1: a criminal, it's about to be a free lunch. But
Speaker 1: I went through everything and I like looked up the
Speaker 1: dude's name on Instagram and couldn't find him. And then
Speaker 1: I went through his credit cards and on one of
Speaker 1: them it had like a business name on it, and
Speaker 1: so I searched that business name and I used our
Speaker 1: bananas Instagram and tagged him and I was like, yo, dude,
Speaker 1: I have your wallet, DM me and the guy was like,
Speaker 1: are you serious. Two hours later he gets back to
Speaker 1: me and he was about to go on tour. He's
Speaker 1: a musician. His name's like Lato l A y t O.
Speaker 1: And he was like, where'd you find it? I was like,
Speaker 1: it was on the curb, and so he met me
Speaker 1: at a bar and I gave it back to him
Speaker 1: and he was just like, man, the look on his face.
Speaker 1: I just saved him so like he couldn't get on flights. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he couldn't stay in hotels like it was.
Speaker 2: Did you yeah, good job. Did you ask why it
Speaker 2: was on a curb?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: I think he fell out of his pocket. Get that
Speaker 1: he was going to the store next to the store
Speaker 1: I was going to, and he just like dabbed me
Speaker 1: a couple of times and like gave me mo those
Speaker 1: handshakes where it was like, oh man, but yeah he
Speaker 1: was uh, he was real close to being in deep
Speaker 1: deep shit.
Speaker 5: No, no fifty bucks for that, you know.
Speaker 1: I I wondered why he wasn't like, can I buy
Speaker 1: you around or something.
Speaker 5: For fucking real.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a little cheap with given what you saved
Speaker 4: him from. And also just an idea, you got a
Speaker 4: fat ass wallet, You're not really thinking through how am
Speaker 4: I not working?
Speaker 6: Staying in the pocket?
Speaker 4: You know, maybe you need to fin out your wallet
Speaker 4: if you wanted to stay in your pants.
Speaker 1: I agree. I bet it popped out of there, just
Speaker 1: like a guys are just like nope, not today. And
Speaker 1: he had the weirdest amount of money. He had a
Speaker 1: one hundred dollars bill and two singles.
Speaker 2: That is a weird amount of money. That's maybe why
Speaker 2: he didn't give you. He didn't want to give you
Speaker 2: his hundred that's right.
Speaker 1: He was either going to give you two dollars or
Speaker 1: one hundred dollars.
Speaker 4: But he should take the hotel keys out, you know,
Speaker 4: if he must save them, put them in a jar maybe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, make them into a cool necklace. Let
Speaker 1: people know that you're a touring musician or comic. I
Speaker 1: know that's what you guys do.
Speaker 2: I have saved every lanyard I've ever gotten from any
Speaker 2: festival or you know, like thing like that, and now.
Speaker 5: It's just a big pile of trash over it.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I thought, Bill, I thought at some point this would
Speaker 2: be like nice to have to look back on.
Speaker 5: And I look back on and I'm like, yeah, that
Speaker 5: was I was there. I don't care. I'm so not
Speaker 5: nostalgic about it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I'm so bad at saving things. The
Speaker 4: only thing I save are my baskets and baskets of journals.
Speaker 4: But besides that, like I always like to run real light,
Speaker 4: you know, run run you in my apartment, but I
Speaker 4: like to keep it light, and so I have no things,
Speaker 4: you know, memory things, and maybe I should rethink that.
Speaker 2: So I by the time this comes out, it will
Speaker 2: the secret will be out. But I made so for
Speaker 2: my tenth anniversary. Great, thank you. I looked up what
Speaker 2: the traditional gift is for ten years of marriage.
Speaker 1: No idea ten h just a nice tin thong for
Speaker 1: your wife.
Speaker 2: It's literally just like just like ten, yeah, ten years.
Speaker 2: Ain't shit you make it ten for ten? I mean,
Speaker 2: like what, it's so crazy. But so I made this
Speaker 2: book of like our whole life together, like from photographs.
Speaker 2: So it's like a fifty eight sixty page book and
Speaker 2: it's like twelve inches by twelve inches. I like, I
Speaker 2: got a fifty percent off thing for mixed book, you know,
Speaker 2: and so I went like high end on everything. It's
Speaker 2: like the whole thing, and it's huge and it's heavy,
Speaker 2: and when you look through it, it is genuinely like
Speaker 2: assembling it. It was genuinely like whoa it's been thirteen
Speaker 2: years that we've been together, from two different cities and
Speaker 2: also two fucking children and my mom dying, and there's
Speaker 2: like all of that in this book now, and it
Speaker 2: was like it was like a very cool experience to
Speaker 2: put together, and like now I'm very excited about it.
Speaker 6: That is that is so sweet.
Speaker 4: I am so proud of you for doing something that nice,
Speaker 4: for reaching inside the depths of you and making a changible,
Speaker 4: uh you know, nostalgia thing of your life. Yeah, because
Speaker 4: we're all so all of our memories are digital, so yes,
Speaker 4: we just like don't have anything physical outside of our phones.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: And as soon as like something, I just imagine something
Speaker 2: is going to change on some level of the digital
Speaker 2: scape and then all of our memories are going to
Speaker 2: be just like gone. And I want to have physical things.
Speaker 2: I want to have physical images because I have no
Speaker 2: images from like from the all of college, I didn't
Speaker 2: take a single photograph. I have one photograph from college.
Speaker 2: One photograph from college.
Speaker 1: I know what you mean. Like my college is way way,
Speaker 1: way undocumented. Like I have a group of friends that
Speaker 1: we kind of reconnected over during COVID, and like every
Speaker 1: once while, someone will drop one in the group chat
Speaker 1: and I'm like, damn, I don't remember that night at all.
Speaker 1: And it's like you just wonder what hard copy photos
Speaker 1: you were floating around out there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I remember one year. I don't know when, it was,
Speaker 4: like twenty sixteen, twenty seventeen, I like deleted my Facebook
Speaker 4: and instead of backing up those photos, I just deleted it,
Speaker 4: you know. Yeah, so I could have had photos. I
Speaker 4: did for a time, but now they're lost in the ethos.
Speaker 2: Now you're untethered from your past, Blair. You're untethered, You're free.
Speaker 1: But you're a writer, writer, Blair. Did you ever hear
Speaker 1: the like I think it's in a movable feast that
Speaker 1: Hemingway like had all his short stories on a train
Speaker 1: trip and then lost them all and so every story
Speaker 1: he had was gone, and he was like devastated. But
Speaker 1: then looking back, he's like, it was the best thing
Speaker 1: to happen to me, because then I had to start
Speaker 1: writing new things, like instead of sending out the stories
Speaker 1: while he was in Paris, right and trying to like
Speaker 1: sell oldgit, it was like, nope, now all of it
Speaker 1: is gone. It's like erasing your hard drive by today's standards,
Speaker 1: and then and then he became who he was.
Speaker 4: That's truly we all, I guess emerge from the ashes.
Speaker 6: But no, that isn't a trump That is.
Speaker 4: That is a troupe from like so many movies and
Speaker 4: stuff where there's like some artist child who like spends
Speaker 4: years on a manuscript and then like the evil mother
Speaker 4: like throws it into the fire one day and like
Speaker 4: all their stuff is gone, and then they find way
Speaker 4: to transcend.
Speaker 1: There we go, There we go.
Speaker 6: You read me on my Facebook.
Speaker 1: You're making new stories every day and that's nice. Let's
Speaker 1: hear me to it.
Speaker 5: This croissant other question, I do I do.
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 2: This was sent in by the wonderful Asia six Asia.
Speaker 5: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Thank you, sir.
Speaker 2: If you want to send us a story that we
Speaker 2: should use on the podcast, you can DM it to
Speaker 2: us on our Instagram, The Bananas Podcast. It's also an
Speaker 2: enjoyable follow. You'll get real fun stuff every single day.
Speaker 2: Run your fast and if you don't have Instagram, you
Speaker 2: can email it at The Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 5: This was in Living et Cetera.
Speaker 2: Scottie, I know you're a huge fan of Living et cetera.
Speaker 5: How big of a fan?
Speaker 1: Are you well? The tattoo on my lower back says
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan because it says what am I doing? Reading, living,
Speaker 1: et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, And it swirls like
Speaker 1: a spiral down between my cheeks, and I do have
Speaker 1: a little dot com where the sun, don't you?
Speaker 5: Oh that's beautiful. It is.
Speaker 2: I think it's a great name for website because it is.
Speaker 2: It does encompass everything it's.
Speaker 5: Living and everything else, et cetera. It's a great name.
Speaker 5: They could cover whatever the fuck they want.
Speaker 2: Someone bought a TMU croissant lamp that ended up being
Speaker 2: an actual croissant.
Speaker 5: Uh. This was written.
Speaker 2: By Hugh met calf O that what do you say
Speaker 2: that dick swinging?
Speaker 1: Hugh metcalf that's swinging. I always say just that swinging.
Speaker 1: But I hear he's hanging meet. Yeah, I heard. He's fine.
Speaker 2: It's easy to fall victim to an online shopping purchase
Speaker 2: that doesn't quite measure up to what we'd hoped. And
Speaker 2: then there's three examples in one long paragraph that I'm
Speaker 2: gonna skip good. So is the Tale of TikTok user
Speaker 2: Nedda Murphy at frog in a hat Girl whose video
Speaker 2: of a quote croissant lamp from online marketplace Temu has
Speaker 2: been viewed nearly nine million times. So we got at
Speaker 2: food shaped lamps are cute, there's something nostalgic about them.
Speaker 2: Then there's all this other stuff about why lamps are cute.
Speaker 5: Here it goes from Temu.
Speaker 2: It was possibly never going to be the best table lamp,
Speaker 2: but this particular croissant lamp took the realism stakes to
Speaker 2: the next level. One day, after coming home on a
Speaker 2: hot day, its owner found hundreds of ants underneath the
Speaker 2: small table lamp. Disturbed, she made a small opening in
Speaker 2: the lamp a little larger and started to suspect that,
Speaker 2: in fact, her croissant lamp was a real hollowed out
Speaker 2: Croissant smart in resin. After breaking the lamp open and
Speaker 2: even as we hate to say it, giving it a taste,
Speaker 2: test Neta confirmed that to be the case. However, after
Speaker 2: doing a little research, it turns out that this isn't
Speaker 2: the only place you can get yourself a preserved croissant lamp,
Speaker 2: and some people are doing it willingly. The Amazon Croissant
Speaker 2: lamp listing has over one hundred positive ratings and an
Speaker 2: average four point four out of five.
Speaker 5: Blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: We even found a version of the lamp made by
Speaker 2: a Japanese artist selling for two hundred and fifties dollars. Again,
Speaker 2: that is an actual croissant. And this is what Hugh says.
Speaker 2: It might not be quite as shocking as it sounds.
Speaker 2: According to Art resin, you can use resin to preserve
Speaker 2: food as long as you cover every square inch of it,
Speaker 2: which may be where this TMU croissant lamp has gone awry.
Speaker 2: Then he says that Hugh he wouldn't personally buy one, right,
Speaker 2: he's inserting himself he's a gonzo journalist. Then there's just
Speaker 2: examples of other food lamps that you can buy, and honestly,
Speaker 2: I'm into all of them, including a Seletti banana lamp,
Speaker 2: which is made of resin and glass and it's just
Speaker 2: a banana and it lights up and it's kind of beautiful.
Speaker 2: It's one hundred and fifty bucks at Selfridges, which I
Speaker 2: think is a UK company.
Speaker 5: There's a what else is there? There's a cauliflower.
Speaker 2: Lamp, an orange lamp, lamp, just a piece of bread lamp.
Speaker 2: It's great. I want to get all these lamps. What
Speaker 2: fruit lamp. Would you want, Blair.
Speaker 4: I'm sure Lauren would love if you just ordered a
Speaker 4: gaggle of.
Speaker 6: Food lamps. No, I find it's really interesting.
Speaker 4: Resin that is the same thing that makes surfboards, right right, Yeah,
Speaker 4: And so they're just covering food in surfboard and then
Speaker 4: slapping it a couple hundred bucks.
Speaker 5: I like that, and then sticking a light up inside
Speaker 5: of it.
Speaker 4: We get. But then there's some sort of great controversy
Speaker 4: that this man was struck by because of the ant
Speaker 4: farm that it attracted. I guess that is problematic. You
Speaker 4: don't want the whole ant farm just for your decor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like Tim who didn't resin their croissant properly.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they didn't wax up their cryissant.
Speaker 6: Yeah, wax down there.
Speaker 2: Just speaking some surf talk, and you're from San Clemente,
Speaker 2: aren't you.
Speaker 5: I can't remember we talked about this. Did you grow
Speaker 5: up surfing?
Speaker 6: I did?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I don't do it anymore though, No?
Speaker 2: Did Is that a conscious choice or just like nah,
Speaker 2: just didn't it just fell off?
Speaker 4: Well I've only it fell off and it was more
Speaker 4: of you know, a young man's game for me. Now
Speaker 4: I sort of prefer to be sedentary, cozy, not really
Speaker 4: too wet or cold or walking on rocks or you know,
Speaker 4: diving under the furious ocean.
Speaker 2: When was did you know it was your last time surfing?
Speaker 2: When you when you went out the last time surfing?
Speaker 4: No, that's really hilarious that you bring it up. I
Speaker 4: mean like I did contest when I was a kid.
Speaker 4: You did, yeah, when I was really young, and then
Speaker 4: I retired with him.
Speaker 5: Like wait, I was how young?
Speaker 4: Like I would say I was doing contest between like
Speaker 4: ten eleven.
Speaker 5: Twelve, Wow, oh my god.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then I just got too much into like
Speaker 4: other very competitive sports. But like my last real wave,
Speaker 4: I mean once I'll go, like once a year when
Speaker 4: it's like one hundred degrees after two beers and like
Speaker 4: five men I grew up with are calling me a pussy.
Speaker 4: Besides that, I'll never ever go. But my last real wave,
Speaker 4: it was like, oh, we're on a family surf trip
Speaker 4: in Costa Rica, like twelve fifteen years ago, and the
Speaker 4: waves were way too big, Like I don't like a
Speaker 4: big wave, Like I'm a shy spirit, and I go
Speaker 4: out and I'm just so petrified, like having a panic attack,
Speaker 4: and I have nothing to do. I'm just getting crushed,
Speaker 4: and so I finally just get have a blue crush moment.
Speaker 4: I get this wave that's like a miracle wave, like
Speaker 4: I don't know where in it. I just like rode
Speaker 4: it in to like for deer, I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: never gonna top that on them, and I literally just
Speaker 4: that was it.
Speaker 5: That is the best last wave to ever. Yeah, the
Speaker 5: last don't really when I asked that you actually had.
Speaker 4: Like no, I had one, because I had a really
Speaker 4: conflicting relationship with it, Like I was so fearful. I
Speaker 4: didn't like feel that strong of a swimmer, like I
Speaker 4: like surfing itself, but like, yeah, I don't like big waves,
Speaker 4: which really exes out most of it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I like big waves. I used to really like
Speaker 5: big waves.
Speaker 2: I used to like love it when it was like
Speaker 2: double overhead and like blizzard conditions in New York City.
Speaker 6: In New York City, you're sick, you're twisted.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we would surf in the snow in New
Speaker 2: York all the time.
Speaker 4: I feel like you had a real adrenaline junkie streak
Speaker 4: to you, which.
Speaker 6: I don't have.
Speaker 2: Yes, agree, agreed, agreed, And it is and it is,
Speaker 2: and it is dipped. As I've gotten older, it has,
Speaker 2: thank god.
Speaker 1: Well, I watched that documentary on HBO one hundred foot
Speaker 1: Wave or whatever, and that guy's fifty plus or whatever
Speaker 1: riding in Nazaree or wherever in Portugal, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: give it up. Yeah, Like, there are so many other
Speaker 1: fun things to do in life, right, Get out a
Speaker 1: deca uno cards, get the whiskey bottle out, have a
Speaker 1: wild one.
Speaker 5: I thought.
Speaker 4: I thought that docu series was terrifying. Just every second.
Speaker 6: I was like, this is why I quit. I'm safe now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Kurta, we're talking about it like off pod a
Speaker 1: while ago, because like that guy is trying so hard
Speaker 1: and then the world finds out about that wave and
Speaker 1: then that guy Kai for the Red Bull Surfer from
Speaker 1: Wine Kurt just comes in as doing front flips down
Speaker 1: the front of that wave and you're like, oh, the
Speaker 1: next generation is already so far beyond.
Speaker 6: Oh I I didn't know about that.
Speaker 4: That's crazy. I have to look that up.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Ky Lenny is really good.
Speaker 1: Ky Lenny. Yeah, he just is like he's like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll try it, and then goes down the wave and
Speaker 1: is literally doing front flips down an eighty foot wave
Speaker 1: and you're like, this other guy breaks his neck every time.
Speaker 1: Kuy's just doing a juicy fruit commercial the whole way down.
Speaker 2: And his younger brother, Ridge Lenny, is also is almost
Speaker 2: as good as Kai, and I think Kai is excellent.
Speaker 1: And he's the tow in brother, right his brother tows
Speaker 1: him in. I think. So it's just like two badass dudes.
Speaker 1: Man forget, But I would like to go sit there
Speaker 1: and watch it, and I would be a nervous wreck
Speaker 1: the whole time, but I would love to sit at
Speaker 1: that lighthouse and just watch it coming.
Speaker 2: People have asked me a lot like, oh, you must
Speaker 2: have loved that doc series, and I tried to watch
Speaker 2: the first one, and I just don't care because it's
Speaker 2: not connected to what I know as surfing. It is
Speaker 2: such a hyper specific uh you know this gigantic forty
Speaker 2: to one hundred foot tall wave. I'm surfing three foot
Speaker 2: to six foot waves without too bid. They're just like,
Speaker 2: there's no comparison between three to six feet and forty
Speaker 2: to one hundred. There is no there's It's not the
Speaker 2: same sport. It's like a different it's a completely different thing.
Speaker 2: So I don't I don't.
Speaker 1: I've never really.
Speaker 2: Enjoyed big wave surfing because it's just there's no part
Speaker 2: I connect to.
Speaker 1: I would like to tell you into a one foot wave, though.
Speaker 1: I want to tell you into a one foot wave.
Speaker 1: Let's go love that. Yeah, let's go down to Newport
Speaker 1: and we'll runt a wave runner and then we'll just
Speaker 1: find little one foot too, and I'll just pull you in.
Speaker 1: I'll beach myself and just you'll go. You'll just hard charge. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I am open and available to being towed into
Speaker 4: a one foot wave. That sounds curious relaxing to me.
Speaker 1: I want the rope to be four and a half
Speaker 1: feet long. I want to be able to turn around
Speaker 1: and shake your hand. I want to go, go, Blair.
Speaker 6: Go you guys.
Speaker 4: This is gonna sound like something that's made up. But
Speaker 4: my mother, uh, I think she was like sixty three
Speaker 4: or sixty four, tore her hamstring wakesurfing with no bindings.
Speaker 2: Like oh Hindu, yeah that's cool.
Speaker 6: My brother had to.
Speaker 4: Dive in and put her over his shoulder and like
Speaker 4: get her out of the water.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the ultimate son moment. When my mom
Speaker 1: was a teacher, we were she was a teacher in
Speaker 1: the same high school that I was in for two years,
Speaker 1: never had her as a teacher anything, and honestly was
Speaker 1: in different wings of the big school the whole time.
Speaker 1: But I always had this like hero hope that I
Speaker 1: would see like a student, like a boy, push her,
Speaker 1: and then I got a free green light to just
Speaker 1: run down and superman punch him as hard as I
Speaker 1: could and be like, he pushed my mom. It was
Speaker 1: worth it. But it never happened. Sadly, I'm so sweet
Speaker 1: nobody pushed my mom. Sadly I have.
Speaker 2: I have a dumber version of that that I still
Speaker 2: sometimes think of when I think of like a tragedy
Speaker 2: happening to me.
Speaker 5: You know, when your brain just goes to like weird tragedies.
Speaker 1: Every time I was in church, Yeah, intrusive thought.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's trusive thought.
Speaker 2: When I have an intrusive thought, I go, well, I
Speaker 2: definitely get back into smoking then, sure, like it was
Speaker 2: a horrific accident, I'd be like, well, I probably could
Speaker 2: just smoke then, because there's no reason to not smoke
Speaker 2: at that point.
Speaker 1: That's right. I have a sports injury story. Let's do
Speaker 1: whiskey and Bacon sent this and whiskey and bacon. Good
Speaker 1: for you for claiming that before everybody else. I'm sure
Speaker 1: a lot of people have tried wow and whiskey and
Speaker 1: bacon got it first, and they are ban animals. This
Speaker 1: was written by Jamie Barton, who's the best in the
Speaker 1: biz at CNN. Soccer player injured after pretty hefty sneeze. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't know where I was going, did you. Soccer
Speaker 1: player in England has been ruled out with an injury
Speaker 1: after a pretty hefty sneeze.
Speaker 5: Who where is this? Where did it appear?
Speaker 1: The Bolton Wanderers in England? So in the English Premier League?
Speaker 5: What publication?
Speaker 1: Who wrote?
Speaker 5: Oh CNN, this is CNN. I've heard of him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a real publication. Victor Adaboyejo, who plays for
Speaker 1: the Bolton Wanderers in League One, the third tier of
Speaker 1: English soccer, so not the Premier League, actually hurt his
Speaker 1: back on Monday due to a sneeze. Victor has been
Speaker 1: suffering with a nasty backgreendery and the sneeze set it
Speaker 1: off yesterday. Believe it or not. Bolton manager Iron Avatt
Speaker 1: said to the Bolton News we have it scanned and
Speaker 1: he should have the results very soon. Everyone remembers the
Speaker 1: challenge at Charlton. Of course, we all remember the challenge
Speaker 1: at Charlton. Yeah he was okay at the time. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I wake up screaming challenge at Charlton sometimes more often
Speaker 1: than I care to admit. It was.
Speaker 2: It's the name of my failed Jimmy Changa line, the
Speaker 2: charge of Charlota Chimmy Changa's and never went anywhere.
Speaker 4: It's not over to the fount Lady sings, Kurt, Let's
Speaker 4: go revived the Chimmy Chonga line.
Speaker 1: Jimmy Chonga's very eighties Mexican food, right like that.
Speaker 2: Very like I haven't had one in like twenty years.
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't think I've had a Chimmy Changa.
Speaker 4: Timeless really though, I'm not even quite sure I know what.
Speaker 6: Distinguishes a Jimmy Chonga.
Speaker 4: But what a name, you know, Like, not many things
Speaker 4: get to go through life with such a distinguishing moniker
Speaker 4: as the Chimmy Chonga.
Speaker 2: What if I when I go to Mexico City with
Speaker 2: my wife, I find the best Jimmy Changa. I just
Speaker 2: keep asking every Mexican, like local Mexican city resident, where's
Speaker 2: your best Jimmy chok there's like a place that makes
Speaker 2: a great jimmy changa.
Speaker 6: Do you think that.
Speaker 4: Because I don't know anything about this, Like, is chimmy
Speaker 4: chungo authentic or is that like a white people spin
Speaker 4: on Mexicano.
Speaker 1: Well, Chi Chi's the White People restaurant of the eighties
Speaker 1: and nineties had a humonga chimmy chonga, so that leans
Speaker 1: towards white guys in boardroom just throwing letters at a whiteboard.
Speaker 1: The humongo chimmy chongo is nice, though. I gotta.
Speaker 4: Sounds incredible. That sounds like a wedding dance or something.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, I love it.
Speaker 2: Educational podcast here it is educational podcast. The origin of
Speaker 2: this is from the Wikipedia page. The origin of the
Speaker 2: chimmy chogi is uncertain. According to Mexican linguist and philologist
Speaker 2: friend Cisco Jay Santa Maria's Dictionario de Mexicanese, most chimmi
Speaker 2: Changa's is a regionalism from the state of Tabasco. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: all right, there it is. That's it from Tabasco. So
Speaker 2: I don't know where.
Speaker 1: So we're saying authentico. That's what I'm saying, authentic. Everybody
Speaker 1: remembers the challenge at Charlton. He was okay at the time,
Speaker 1: but then he had a pretty hefty sneeze. Victor is
Speaker 1: a powerful boy and even his sneezes are powerful. His
Speaker 1: manager said, what a cheerleader.
Speaker 4: That's a big, condescending powerful boy.
Speaker 6: My big powerful boy did a big sneeze.
Speaker 2: He's a big, dumb, powerful boy who's got a big
Speaker 2: old sneezer.
Speaker 1: That's right. As a result, he the striker missed Tuesday's
Speaker 1: game against Barrow and it remains to be seen when
Speaker 1: he will make his return. Return. Quote, he felt a
Speaker 1: bit of a crack between his ribs and we're hopeful
Speaker 1: it's just cartilage or muscular tissue. That's what you always hope.
Speaker 1: You always just want to be cartilage. But until we've
Speaker 1: had a good look at the skin, we won't fully know.
Speaker 1: And let's see, I have to start looking long at
Speaker 1: myself when players start getting injured sneezing, he said, that
Speaker 1: is just the way things seem to be going at
Speaker 1: the moment, but we have to deal with it. The
Speaker 1: freak injury came at a bad time for Bolton, which
Speaker 1: is already missing a number of other players and struggling
Speaker 1: in the division. At Aboyejo becomes the latest name on
Speaker 1: a list of sports most bizarre injuries. Here we go, Oh,
Speaker 1: here we go.
Speaker 5: Yes, this is why this article is important.
Speaker 1: That's why we went with it.
Speaker 4: Season takes out a lot of players.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. Claireton should be sponsoring the Bolton Wanderers.
Speaker 1: Glasgow Rangers defender Kirk Broadfoot, great name for a soccer player,
Speaker 1: required hospital treatment after an egg he had poached the
Speaker 1: microwave exploded in his face. Wow, it scalded him, which
Speaker 1: is not funny, but that is hilarious. I'm so so
Speaker 1: sorry about that. Kirk, didn't laugh at your misfortune.
Speaker 5: He tried to cook an egg.
Speaker 2: He tried to cook an egg, A sealed egg, Yeah right,
Speaker 2: an uncracked egg, that's what he tried to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exploded.
Speaker 4: I might purport just a theory here that there is
Speaker 4: an opposing team to the Bolton Challengers that has put
Speaker 4: a significant hex curse on these players to have just
Speaker 4: a bevy of unbelievable, inconceivable injuries. And if I were
Speaker 4: the other healthy players on that team, I would really
Speaker 4: be tiptoeing my ass around an.
Speaker 6: Exploding egg in the microwave.
Speaker 4: That's not even that's like a ied you wouldn't even
Speaker 4: be worried about.
Speaker 1: Nope. In nineteen ninety five, Croatian striker Milan Ray Pitch
Speaker 1: or Repake maybe missed the start of the preseason, having
Speaker 1: accidentally poked himself in the eye with his own boarding
Speaker 1: pass while waiting for a flight. No way, No, that
Speaker 1: feels like a voodoo doll moment. I agree with Blair.
Speaker 1: And more recently, Tunisian Rami KaiB was sidelined for five
Speaker 1: weeks in twenty twenty one after he broke his jaw
Speaker 1: eating a carrot.
Speaker 5: What's happening with his jaw?
Speaker 1: Were soccer players not working out anything but their butts
Speaker 1: and hammies and calves? Give me a break, breaking out.
Speaker 6: So feeble, so delicate.
Speaker 4: You know, some people do have those sneezes, Like my
Speaker 4: mother is one where when she sneezes, I truly worry
Speaker 4: that she is going to rocket launch to the mood,
Speaker 4: you know, like it has some sort of horsepower that
Speaker 4: I don't even know where it comes from.
Speaker 1: And some old guys have that hank sneeze that I
Speaker 1: just don't understand where they use like a handkerchief, and
Speaker 1: when they sneeze they actually like go like and you're like,
Speaker 1: I've sneezed probably ten thousand times in my life, and
Speaker 1: not once did I honk on the way out and
Speaker 1: I tried.
Speaker 4: Yeah, have you guys ever noticed that you take on
Speaker 4: the sneezes of your parents at all?
Speaker 1: No, I am not some more time with my parents.
Speaker 4: I'm about a little bit fearful that I have taken
Speaker 4: on my mother's rocket launch.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I wish season.
Speaker 4: Too hard over here. I could be the next one
Speaker 4: to blow my back out.
Speaker 1: Have you two? I've heard this is a thing with
Speaker 1: com especially when you're doing a show, like you're on
Speaker 1: the road. Have you ever felt so sick then they
Speaker 1: say welcome to the stage, stage, Blair Sockey, and then
Speaker 1: suddenly you feel fine for an hour, and then as
Speaker 1: soon as you step off stage you feel terrible again. Yep.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had that adrenaline cure? Yep?
Speaker 6: I felt that more in sports.
Speaker 4: I would have that happen in sports, where it would
Speaker 4: be on my deathbed and then you just snap out
Speaker 4: and then you're like worse once it over. Once it's over,
Speaker 4: and your body like gets out of the adrenaline. But
Speaker 4: when I'm going on stage, if I've been really sick.
Speaker 4: It's hard because, like it, my voice is already almost
Speaker 4: gone at all times.
Speaker 1: That's true. That's true. But you played college volleyball at UCLA.
Speaker 6: Right ooh, thank you, Scotty. Incredible memory.
Speaker 1: But that's very impressive. So I could imagine those were
Speaker 1: some high stakes matches. And did you ever feel like
Speaker 1: you played better when you were sick, like you were
Speaker 1: somehow more focused.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say that sometimes because you lock in
Speaker 4: so hard because you're just like do or die.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've felt that before. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: And how many volleyballs have you ever taken directly to
Speaker 1: your face?
Speaker 6: So many?
Speaker 4: One time I got a concussion work the most humiliating
Speaker 4: one though, Like that I can never forget for the
Speaker 4: rest of my life, because like, when you get hit
Speaker 4: in the face, there's also this thing where you're not
Speaker 4: supposed to touch your face after to act like because
Speaker 4: so it's like that guy doesn't face you or whatever. Right,
Speaker 4: And when my freshman year, we were playing Arizona and
Speaker 4: it was senior night and the whole University of Arizona
Speaker 4: and the whole stadium was full, and this one woman
Speaker 4: who ended up being in the Olympian Kim Glass. She
Speaker 4: was also on America's Next Top Model of Fun. Oh
Speaker 4: and I'm at the like five foot line and she
Speaker 4: just drills a ball off my face like this sixth
Speaker 4: stree girl, and the entire the over the whole loud speaker,
Speaker 4: they go, Kim Glass with her one thousand kill. And
Speaker 4: she was a senior, and the entire stadium stood up
Speaker 4: in their seats and I was just sitting there like
Speaker 4: seeing stars like fucking Tom and Jerry. And I was like,
Speaker 4: I like, if I think about it, it's like I
Speaker 4: can go back to that moment. How humiliating and also painful.
Speaker 2: Well, oh my god, that's crazy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like Kimen Glass, I'm like, so however long that
Speaker 4: moment could possibly be stretched out to me?
Speaker 6: It just went on and on and on.
Speaker 1: Let's hear it again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And they referred to their one thousand kill like
Speaker 2: by meaning hitting people in the face with the ball.
Speaker 4: I think her one thousand career kill. And she was
Speaker 4: like such a star like Olympian, so like the whole
Speaker 4: school was.
Speaker 6: Like rallied around her.
Speaker 4: And then she got her one thousand kill on her
Speaker 4: senior night off my face.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, for Kim with her perfect body. She's got
Speaker 7: a model's face, an incredible physique, an olympian. She was
Speaker 7: reading an eighth grade level in fifth grade. She has
Speaker 7: no food allergies. Oh my god, Well where is she now?
Speaker 1: She's probably not a guest on a podcast, probably slinging
Speaker 1: fried clams at a seaside place somewhat.
Speaker 6: I'm sure she's very rich in like a seaside mansion.
Speaker 6: But she's not with the man. The boys said.
Speaker 1: I would turn and walk away if I ever see her.
Speaker 1: She's gonna get a come up and see she'll brew
Speaker 1: the day I crossed her, that I'm six three, I'll
Speaker 1: look her dead in the eye. So you killed it
Speaker 1: one more time? You see what?
Speaker 4: No, I do feel that the brain damage I suffered
Speaker 4: that day has, you know, propelled my career for.
Speaker 2: What a visionary all right, I'll tease this into some timeouts,
Speaker 2: some thumbs up rather thumbs ups, meat Pasto, the penguin,
Speaker 2: an absolute unit, the massive King penguin, and chick.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I want to learn about this big bird.
Speaker 1: First up the thumbs up. One of the great names
Speaker 1: we've ever been sent. Sent this in Laslow. Barna wants
Speaker 1: to thumb his wife Marissa way up. She's been moonlighting
Speaker 1: as a photographer for years and has gotten phenomenal at it.
Speaker 1: She is booked up for the year with photography work
Speaker 1: and because of Marissa's hard work, they will be able
Speaker 1: to take their daughters for the first time to Disneyland.
Speaker 5: Thumbs up. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: That is a fun one. H Thomas wants to thumb
Speaker 1: his lovely fiance Maddie all the way up aka mad Dog,
Speaker 1: for quitting her job and moving to Portland, Oregon with Tomas.
Speaker 1: She is the very best and Tomas is excited to
Speaker 1: take this next step before their wedding July twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: Congratulations you love birds. Thumbs ups. I got two more.
Speaker 1: David wants to thumb Kiriana up. Kurian is an amazing watercolorist.
Speaker 1: I think it's watercolorists maybe watercolor artist and she has
Speaker 1: a show in Chico, California this fall. Her instagram is
Speaker 1: at Kirana dot art. That's kyr I a n NA
Speaker 1: dot art. And if you're a bored bananamal in northern
Speaker 1: California and you want to support the arts and another bananimal,
Speaker 1: go see Kuriana show this fall in Chico. Oh that
Speaker 1: sounds nice.
Speaker 5: Oh hell yeah.
Speaker 1: And last, but not least, Justin King wants to thumb
Speaker 1: himself up, and that's fine with us. We don't mind
Speaker 1: that he found out about Bananas just in January twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four and is already caught up Kurt, in eight months.
Speaker 1: He's listened to every episode. He knows you and I
Speaker 1: better than we know ourselves. He says he is not
Speaker 1: a parasocial lunatic, but he does have one hundred and
Speaker 1: fifteen mile commute every day.
Speaker 5: Wow, that's all.
Speaker 1: And bananas is what helps him get through it. So
Speaker 1: thumbs up, Justin, thumbs up, way to go, Justin, I know,
Speaker 1: putting in that windshield. Time my god. Oh and if
Speaker 1: you want to send your thumbs up, you can always
Speaker 1: send it to us at the Banans Podcast and Instagram
Speaker 1: or Theebanans Podcast at gmail dot com. We also have
Speaker 1: a website, Bananas podcast dot com.
Speaker 2: We are here with of course, the wonderful and fantastic
Speaker 2: Blair Sake, Who's new special you can go watch right
Speaker 2: now wherever you get specials YouTube. Dog, I know it's
Speaker 2: on YouTube that I was watching it on YouTube.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, Thanks Kurt. That's so kind of you.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 2: I think it's there's so many It's like your jokes
Speaker 2: are so surprising and so original that they get me
Speaker 2: every single time.
Speaker 6: That is such a huge compliment. Thank you.
Speaker 5: Wow, You're welcome. I love them. You want to hear
Speaker 5: about this absolute unit.
Speaker 6: I want to hear about the unit. I want to
Speaker 6: hear about the unit.
Speaker 5: This was sent in.
Speaker 2: By the fantastic and wonderful Angelica. Thank you Angelica, Thank
Speaker 2: you Angelica. This was in Mashable dot Com.
Speaker 1: Didn't know it still existed. Glad it still does.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 2: Written written by Tim Marson or Marchin.
Speaker 5: Best, not bez.
Speaker 1: Best in the beeswax that man.
Speaker 5: This is Pesto the Penguin. He is an absolute unit.
Speaker 2: The yow ming of penguins has been born and is
Speaker 2: thriving in an Australian aquarium topical.
Speaker 5: You've got to see Pesto.
Speaker 2: The Penguin, a baby king penguin at Sea Life, Melbourne Aquarium.
Speaker 2: You are not prepared for the height and girth of
Speaker 2: this absolute unit. Feast your eyes on Pesto twenty five
Speaker 2: fishes per day. I will just sum up this article
Speaker 2: because the whole article is just this bird is very large, Okay.
Speaker 1: I would like to see this bird though. That being said, love,
Speaker 1: if I'm in Australia, I'm gonna go see Pesto.
Speaker 5: I mean, you gotta see Pesto. Pesto is.
Speaker 2: Both of his parents are twenty five pounds. Pesto is
Speaker 2: six months nine months old. He weighs fifty pounds.
Speaker 5: That's he is.
Speaker 2: So you know how a baby penguin chick is just
Speaker 2: all furry, a puff ball of brown fur. They're King penguin,
Speaker 2: King Emperor Penguins ratherk so you know, they're the classic
Speaker 2: like March of the Penguins. Penguins they normally get to like,
Speaker 2: I don't know, like two and a half feet tall
Speaker 2: or something. Don't quote me on that. He's already weigh
Speaker 2: like a foot taller than his parents and double their size,
Speaker 2: Like the two of them weigh the amount that he weighs.
Speaker 5: And and it's not like anything weird. It's not. It's
Speaker 5: not like my immediate thing was like, oh.
Speaker 2: I would love to do this story, but we're gonna
Speaker 2: find out that it's some fucked up zoo thing.
Speaker 5: The reason that he's fifty pounds, and it's not. It's
Speaker 5: not a fucked up zoothe, which is great.
Speaker 2: It's just genetics and the fact that he has he
Speaker 2: can like eat as much as he wants.
Speaker 5: Uh, he's just a hungry boy.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: And so yeah, he is the largest they might be
Speaker 2: the largest penguin on record ever. But he's just completely furry.
Speaker 2: You go to our Instagram right now. This is a
Speaker 2: reason you should go follow us on Instagram right now.
Speaker 2: True because this photo, the photo of this bird is
Speaker 2: gonna be there today the day that this drops, maybe
Speaker 2: not at midnight when it comes out to it by noon.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we got stuff to do. But yeah, oh
Speaker 1: he is big. I'm looking at him him.
Speaker 6: Wait, I'm looking for the.
Speaker 2: Penguin pest Pesto the absolute unit, and the absolute unit
Speaker 2: is what everyone online keeps calling him, which makes me
Speaker 2: cry laugh.
Speaker 5: I love that.
Speaker 1: Absolutely God, he is huge, is comically big.
Speaker 5: He's comically big.
Speaker 4: And I liked how this was like, it's not us though.
Speaker 4: He the Tony Robbins Gigantle disease.
Speaker 8: You know, yeah, he does Pesto, the Tony Robbins of
Speaker 8: Pegwitz absolute Unit.
Speaker 1: When that Tony Robbins doc came out, I'm not your whatever.
Speaker 1: If I was home workaholics at the time, and it
Speaker 1: like everybody watched it in the writer's room and we
Speaker 1: were talking. Everybody watched it and I hadn't seen it
Speaker 1: like the night it came out, so that it was like, Scotty,
Speaker 1: did you see it? And it's crazy, Liken't He's just
Speaker 1: giving the harshest advice to people. And everybody had like
Speaker 1: really strong feelings about Tony Robbins. And so I watched
Speaker 1: it the next night and two of my ex girlfriends
Speaker 1: are in that documentary crying in cheering no and not together.
Speaker 1: No what two of them?
Speaker 5: Yes and so insane dude.
Speaker 1: So I came in day three and said, yeah, I
Speaker 1: watched it last night. And then the people that knew
Speaker 1: those people were like, did you see so and so?
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, did you see so and so?
Speaker 1: And they're like, yeah, I guess they needed a little,
Speaker 1: you know, a reason to live. I guess after we
Speaker 1: broke up they.
Speaker 6: Were crying about losing the love of their life. Baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, That's what I kept saying. But then I
Speaker 1: went and cried in the bathroom for a while. Everybody cried.
Speaker 1: He's a very convincing speaker.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and the way he like screams and people.
Speaker 1: He's the worst.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like when he cusses, he sounds like a military general.
Speaker 1: Like you're like, all right, you know, if you were
Speaker 1: lying to me, I'd be like, that's bullshit. But he'll
Speaker 1: be like that is bullshit, and you're like, it's like
Speaker 1: when the Rock cusses and you're like, have you have
Speaker 1: you ever cussed somebody in a real way? But Tony
Speaker 1: Robbins is somehow worse at it, Like he's, Oh.
Speaker 4: My god, Scottie, I can't believe you have two exes and.
Speaker 5: Not too matter they.
Speaker 1: Worth the same one like in Florida?
Speaker 5: So crazy? Are like these are long ago? Or would
Speaker 5: I know them?
Speaker 1: Do you know them both? Oh my god? Probably nine years?
Speaker 1: Well the doc probably came out seven years six. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you do. Crazy. It's the two you're thinking, okay, and
Speaker 1: may you know, may the wind be always their back?
Speaker 4: And look, I won't sit here before the Banana Boys
Speaker 4: and act like I haven't gotten myself involved in some
Speaker 4: pretty weird shit, but you know, I'll leave it off camera.
Speaker 4: I'm not leaving a goddamn paper trail, all right. I
Speaker 4: don't want my dad to see me at a Tony
Speaker 4: Robbins event. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know, we're the entire writer's room full of comedy
Speaker 1: writers just being like why are they there? And you
Speaker 1: talk about that for two hours and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying shit, I'm not saying ship.
Speaker 5: Wow, that's it.
Speaker 1: Was a teachable moment for all of us. We all
Speaker 1: learned a lot that we did.
Speaker 6: Which is one of the best things I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I would say, Blair, I'll give you a
Speaker 1: dealer's choice here. We can either do a speeding ticket
Speaker 1: story or a doorstop story.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, that's a real Sophie's choice. I guess I'm
Speaker 4: gonna have to go speeding ticket.
Speaker 1: Great, it's a great one.
Speaker 5: Let's start the next podcast with a doorstop story.
Speaker 1: You would be shocked at how good it is. Our bff,
Speaker 1: Edmund Hawkins sent this into me. CHURDI, b we love
Speaker 1: Edmund Hawkins. What's up?
Speaker 6: Ed?
Speaker 1: This was in WKRC, written by that swing. In WKRC,
Speaker 1: staff man receives one point four million dollars speeding ticket
Speaker 1: for going ninety and a fifty five.
Speaker 6: How was that possible?
Speaker 1: Great question, Savannah Georgia. Yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 6: Okay, are you okay, Kurt?
Speaker 1: Yeah, your camera.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like my surfboard just almost took my head off.
Speaker 1: That was crazy.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that would have been like a story
Speaker 4: on this podcast.
Speaker 2: It was because I raised my desk and it upsets
Speaker 2: some stuff and I guess it came out all right, yeah,
Speaker 2: go ahead, I okay.
Speaker 1: No, I think it was thrilling. And we were talking
Speaker 1: about wiping out all the time. You wiped out podcasting.
Speaker 1: That's not easy to do. A man, of course, was
Speaker 1: given a one point four million dollar speeding ticket after
Speaker 1: being caught going ninety miles an hour in a fifty
Speaker 1: five miles an hour zone.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 1: According to the Autawire, local authorities said the speeding ticket
Speaker 1: was merely a placeholder, but Connor Cato said he was
Speaker 1: left stunned after receiving the seven figure ticket. One frame it,
Speaker 1: frame it. This is incredible. I'm so jealous. Or send
Speaker 1: it to me and I'll frame it and keep it forever,
Speaker 1: Connor Cato. I knew I was going to be fine
Speaker 1: for speeding, but one point four million was beyond comprehension.
Speaker 1: Cato called the Savannah Court to check if the one
Speaker 1: point four million dollar ticket was a mistake, but were
Speaker 1: told that it wasn't and he would either have to
Speaker 1: pay it or appear in court. On December twenty, first
Speaker 1: of Representative for the City of Savannah explained the jaw
Speaker 1: dropping ticket was a figure auto generated by an e
Speaker 1: citation software and it was considered a placeholder, which is.
Speaker 5: What that seems so crazy, the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 2: If you're going to have something auto generated ticket, just
Speaker 2: to have it generated correctly.
Speaker 1: Right or go? Also, if I am so against Maryland
Speaker 1: has these, I don't think California has these yet, but
Speaker 1: they have those speeding boxes, like they have cameras that
Speaker 1: it just when you go buy and you're it snaps
Speaker 1: a photo of your license plate and mails your ticket.
Speaker 1: There is no interaction whatsoever.
Speaker 4: They had that in my hometown, Like it makes the
Speaker 4: It makes the city so much money.
Speaker 2: Did you ever see Scotty, You've seen the photograph of me.
Speaker 2: I think I was making a left hand I made
Speaker 2: a left hand turn.
Speaker 5: Through a red light, and they snapped a photo of me.
Speaker 8: And I have just the biggest smile on my face
Speaker 8: and I had no idea that they're snapping a photo
Speaker 8: of me. But this is just like how I'm driving
Speaker 8: around Los Angeles, like the dumbest golden retreatver dog behind
Speaker 8: the wheel.
Speaker 5: Brick in the loll.
Speaker 6: That's so funny.
Speaker 4: That's exactly how I would imagine you a tar That's hysterical, man.
Speaker 1: So yeah, this was a placeholder e citation ticket. The
Speaker 1: City of Savannah also said the ultimate penalty, which is
Speaker 1: so stupid, was determined by a judge later and the
Speaker 1: actual find would not exceed one thousand dollars. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: would hope not. I mean, I guess.
Speaker 5: He'd one thousand dollars for going.
Speaker 1: Ninety and fifty five's almost double. But it's like, isn't
Speaker 1: that I don't know, two fifty two hundred bucks?
Speaker 5: I don't know, Yeah, that seems insane.
Speaker 4: He was probably late for his like one thousand pounds
Speaker 4: cocaine drop in the back of his car.
Speaker 1: Oh the best, Yeah, that would be the best. He
Speaker 1: had one point four million dollars a cocaine in his drum.
Speaker 6: That's what I thought the direction was.
Speaker 4: I was like, how could you get a ticket for
Speaker 4: one point four million buckaroos.
Speaker 2: I also like that he's the one drug dealer who
Speaker 2: uses the imperial system that he's gone by a thousand.
Speaker 2: I got a thousand pounds. They're like, how many kilos
Speaker 2: is that. It's just like, that's a thousand pounds. Man,
Speaker 2: I'm not doing the math.
Speaker 5: I don't know how many kilos it is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't understand kilos.
Speaker 1: I'm not a math major, dude. I'm just running drugs
Speaker 1: at ninety miles an hour on I guess a two
Speaker 1: lane highway. That seems pretty reasonable.
Speaker 4: That's what I say to my dad when he asked
Speaker 4: me about my taxes. Yeah, I'm an artist. I got
Speaker 4: one thousand pounds back here. Leave me alone, Papa.
Speaker 1: I know, I know. I just did mine last week,
Speaker 1: I said I. And it is such a nightmare, I
Speaker 1: said to the poor My accountant is a very funny guy.
Speaker 1: We've talked about him a couple of times on the pod.
Speaker 1: But he uh, he like it's crunch time and he's
Speaker 1: working like till midnight this time of year because everybody
Speaker 1: that extended is now paying them, like all of us.
Speaker 1: And his poor receptionist or assistant called me and she's like, hey,
Speaker 1: you didn't sign one of the forms. And I kindly
Speaker 1: was like, I'm so sorry. I'm home. I can scan
Speaker 1: it right now, I can send it your way. And
Speaker 1: as I'm doing it, I just say to her, I'm
Speaker 1: off handedly, I'm like, isn't this the biggest bullshit ever?
Speaker 1: She's like, what do you mean? I'm like, how isn't
Speaker 1: AI doing this? Like? How am I? Why am I
Speaker 1: doing this? Why doesn't it just look at everything and
Speaker 1: go you owe this much and then you scan your
Speaker 1: thumbs and then it's paid or whatever. No, what's crazy?
Speaker 1: You have to do? Like math?
Speaker 5: The question is is why isn't it just everybody across
Speaker 5: the board just pays ten percent, and everybody pays ten
Speaker 5: percent across the recording corporations, everybody just pays ten percent,
Speaker 5: and then you just get rid of all this shit.
Speaker 5: It's so crazy.
Speaker 2: If people did that, we would be we'd have more
Speaker 2: money for everything and everyone would be paying less.
Speaker 5: I have no idea if any of that's true.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, you should call the government because I
Speaker 4: feel like would change alf.
Speaker 2: And would if Amazon paid ten percent. Boom, it's taken
Speaker 2: care of the Country's fine.
Speaker 1: No potholes.
Speaker 5: Ever, again, We're fine, that's it pays zero.
Speaker 1: Well, the guy that brought that up, he ran for president,
Speaker 1: and it's Steve Forbes. He was like the air to
Speaker 1: the Forbes Fortune and all that stuff, and he was
Speaker 1: like flat tax. His whole thing was flat tax. Everybody
Speaker 1: should pay the same amount. But that guy looked like
Speaker 1: a sneaky creep in a nineteen sixties movie. He had
Speaker 1: like a little side smirk and he had like the
Speaker 1: wrong kind of glasses and wavy rich person like we've
Speaker 1: all been sleeping with each other for ten generations hair,
Speaker 1: and he would be like flat tax, and everybody's like, no,
Speaker 1: you creep. I'd rather add my receipts up for four
Speaker 1: days and still get it wrong. And I miss him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, Blair, where can people check out your.
Speaker 4: Special Oh my god, guys, it's eight hundred pound Gorillas YouTube,
Speaker 4: but you can just google it. It's in the in
Speaker 4: the bio of all my social media pages, which are
Speaker 4: at blairsak BLA I R s Occi. I'd love it
Speaker 4: if you watch it. If not, that's cool too.
Speaker 1: It's fantastic though. You gotta watch it. It's a great watch.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so clun You guys are so nice.
Speaker 1: Wow, Dark Bangers, it's so good.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I forgot to tell you this because
Speaker 4: it's preshy into this podcast. But you know the opening
Speaker 4: bit is about a tussle I had with the Mark Sargeant.
Speaker 2: Ye.
Speaker 4: Then he wrote me a twenty five paragraph email.
Speaker 5: What he did sent him the bit? Yeah, yeah, he wrote,
Speaker 5: oh my, And at.
Speaker 4: First, like he emailed me and it was like a
Speaker 4: really nice, like three sentence email where it was just
Speaker 4: like he's like, I thought it was so funny, like
Speaker 4: he was being such a good sport about it. He's
Speaker 4: like you well, and then I and I was like, god,
Speaker 4: what a nice guy, considering like I obviously made fun
Speaker 4: of him.
Speaker 6: Whatever.
Speaker 4: Then I read him back like thanks so much, thanks
Speaker 4: for having a great sense.
Speaker 6: Of humor about it.
Speaker 4: Then he writes me back like the twenty five paragraph
Speaker 4: email which he basically wrote a play which he called for.
Speaker 4: It was like he wrote for me to say on stage.
Speaker 2: Now about flat earthers or about peoplelated Oh wow, that's but.
Speaker 4: He's a quick creative guy, created a lot of ideas.
Speaker 1: Well. The thing about flat earthers I don't get is
Speaker 1: what's the what's the point? What's the endgame? Like is
Speaker 1: it only to prove other people wrong? Is that the
Speaker 1: whole thing? Because there's no victory at the end of it,
Speaker 1: nothing gets better.
Speaker 4: Well, also, I think when you make your identity around
Speaker 4: something it's really for anything in life, it gets real
Speaker 4: tricky because I remember when we interviewed him, he was saying, like,
Speaker 4: it's really a lifestyle, and like then he started going
Speaker 4: into like all the like just swaths of different type
Speaker 4: of merch they have or like flat and I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: this is like your business.
Speaker 1: Yea, the cool flat earther sold just flat hats.
Speaker 5: Just hats that just flat.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, just flat, just cardboard with cloth on it
Speaker 1: that you just taped to the very top of your head.
Speaker 2: Right, Like does Kyrie Irving when he sees a basketball,
Speaker 2: he just sees a frisbee.
Speaker 1: Well, I just think it's.
Speaker 4: So funny to like have some way out their idea
Speaker 4: and then to be reverse condescending to others about it,
Speaker 4: like like you, it's so gaslighting that it's honestly hilarious.
Speaker 1: It comes back around to just the warmth of a
Speaker 1: gas fire at some point.
Speaker 4: Yeah. But anyways, I just wanted to tell you that
Speaker 4: about mister Mark Sargeant because it was a while.
Speaker 1: To my God got him.
Speaker 5: Thank you, Blair, Thank you for being here so much.
Speaker 1: Do you want to say bananas with us?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I Do three two one. Bananas is an exactly right
Speaker 1: media production.
Speaker 5: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 1: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Speaker 5: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 1: And Our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgarriff and
Speaker 1: Georgia Hartstart
Speaker 2: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
Speaker 2: intern