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Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay Dot in a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: Hey Hey, now, party people, this is Jay dot Ilga Podcast.

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Speaker 1: And I'm here with my sister friends. Excuse me, We've

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Speaker 1: already been talking about We've already been talking, so you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to gather my ship, trying to gather myself here.

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Speaker 1: I'm here with Aga Graydon Danceler and Alaiah Saint Clair. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and we've already been talking. We've already been here. We're

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Speaker 1: talking today about healthcare, particularly for women. Man, Okay, let

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Speaker 1: me put it to you like this. I'm gonna tell

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Speaker 1: you a brief story. Okay, years ago, my mother must

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Speaker 1: have been she was twenty, no, she was nineteen. She

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Speaker 1: was nineteen years old, and she had gone to a

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Speaker 1: clinic around the way, like most of us, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you live in the hood, you go to the

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Speaker 1: clinic because that's you know, one what you can afford,

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Speaker 1: and too, because they're around, you know, they're in the neighborhood.

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Speaker 1: So my mother goes to a clinic and she's having

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Speaker 1: an exam done and she's wondering why her cycle is

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Speaker 1: so random. They told her that she can't have children,

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Speaker 1: she won't be able to have children and that she

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Speaker 1: should have a hysterectomy because it's really no point. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, she she shed her tears, and you know

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Speaker 1: it's tough because she always wanted to be a mother

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Speaker 1: and she decided to not do it. She was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm you know she she just says she wasn't gonna

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Speaker 1: do it. Ato she gave birth to me. Now, obviously,

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Speaker 1: many years later, I have a very similar situation. My

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Speaker 1: cycle disappeared when I turned four teen. I got it

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Speaker 1: when I was fourteen, but it disappeared and I was fifteen.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm a I'm a whole unicorns. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I feel like I had prayed a prayer. I asked

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Speaker 1: God to take away my cycle because it was too painful.

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Speaker 1: Nobody could walk across the floor. It was very, very painful,

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Speaker 1: very heavy flow, and I prayed. I asked God to

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Speaker 1: take it away and bring it back when he was

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Speaker 1: ready for me to have a child. Years go by,

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Speaker 1: my cycle has disappeared. UM nineteen years old with no

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Speaker 1: cycle at all, And my my friends were like, that's weird.

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Speaker 1: Don't you think that's weird. Don't you think you should

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Speaker 1: see about that? Well, I decided to go to play

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Speaker 1: parenthood and asked them, you know what am I supposed

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Speaker 1: to do? So they look and they're like, well, everything

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Speaker 1: looks healthy. But you know, if you don't have a cycle,

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Speaker 1: then you're not ovulating. If you're not ovulating, you're not

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Speaker 1: going to have children, and you should get a HYS

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Speaker 1: direct to me. I decided not to, and at thirty eight,

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Speaker 1: I gave birth to my son. What I'm saying, if

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Speaker 1: it's not clear enough, I do not trust the system

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Speaker 1: when it comes to taking care of minority women. I'm very,

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Speaker 1: very exceptionally cautious when it comes to going to clinics.

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Speaker 1: I definitely know that everybody deserves to have health care,

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Speaker 1: and clinics are I think they having it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: what what can I say? My mother and myself, we're

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Speaker 1: both supposed to have or quote unquote supposed to have

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Speaker 1: HYS directed me. Well, not for nothing, Jil. It's interesting.

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Speaker 1: And first talking about your mom because I think that

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Speaker 1: there was a period in time where doctors tried hard

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Speaker 1: and I know that happened to you as well, but

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Speaker 1: even more so and you're mom's time, because I think

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Speaker 1: I told you that they try to take my mom's

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Speaker 1: ovaries it's the same thing. But and that's something that

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Speaker 1: I wonder we never go back on and the women

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Speaker 1: who actually did listen to their doctors and U, I mean,

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Speaker 1: we have a very disturbing history in the world we

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Speaker 1: live in, not just in America, but in the world

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Speaker 1: we live in the history of the medical field. Come

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Speaker 1: on that when it comes to women's bodies, and particularly

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Speaker 1: black women's bodies, that there is a you know ingrained disrespect,

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Speaker 1: and really it goes beyond disrespect, it's disregard as even

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Speaker 1: being a human. You know that we have been experimented on,

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Speaker 1: we have been you know, tossed aside in many instances.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that it is an outrageous thing to

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Speaker 1: say that a black woman has never received the proper

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Speaker 1: care with than this medical industry, that the care that

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Speaker 1: she deserves, or that we deserve as a as a group.

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Speaker 1: There are obviously some instances where people have good doctors

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Speaker 1: or people have good relationships with different doctors, but I

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Speaker 1: just mean, as a group, we're just not We're not

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Speaker 1: considered at all, even down to research, even to how

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Speaker 1: we are researched and the things in the information that

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Speaker 1: we know about black women. We have to get to

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Speaker 1: this point where we're even asking and studying black women.

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Speaker 1: There's money, because money approved for studies that are specifically

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Speaker 1: about our health. It's fairly new. That is very new, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I'm like, they just started to acknowledge that there

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Speaker 1: are differences. Yeah, I mean studies that are done that

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Speaker 1: are not about exploitation exactly. Like, can we get again,

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Speaker 1: goddamn pure to this damn fabroids. I just don't understand.

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Speaker 1: I know, but I do know that it affects women

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Speaker 1: of color more than anybody else. But here's an interesting fact.

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Speaker 1: I was on Instagram and Tank from Tanking the Bangers.

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Speaker 1: She put up a really interesting graphic and she said

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Speaker 1: that black patients on on not black patients. It says

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Speaker 1: approximately eighty percent of every person with a uterus will

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Speaker 1: have five boys every person with a uterus. Yep, it's

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Speaker 1: just my question is damn then, my question is why

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Speaker 1: is there such a difference in women are colored? And

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Speaker 1: also because we we have it affects us worse because

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Speaker 1: we have other health concerns that are exacerbated by racism

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Speaker 1: and fire boys is from what I hear, it is

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Speaker 1: all can be exacerbated by things like stress, like diet,

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Speaker 1: sugar and sugar, all things that are mainstays within black

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Speaker 1: women's diets, things that they have access to. Because obviously,

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Speaker 1: if poverty is an issue, then having quality food is

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Speaker 1: an issue, and if poverty is an initial mental health

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Speaker 1: and stress is an issue. So and not saying that

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Speaker 1: all whom are impoverished, We're just talking about, you know,

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Speaker 1: doubling down on some of the issues that that affects,

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Speaker 1: you know, us across the board. But if you think

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Speaker 1: about it, even with Kamala Harris talking about that that's

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Speaker 1: an issue that's really important to her and that to

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Speaker 1: make that appoints in that's unbelievable. There's a public health crisis.

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Speaker 1: The people that are intended to carry on to the

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Speaker 1: next generation are in crisis. Major crisis, major crisis. How

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Speaker 1: hard it can be just to see a ganecologist in general,

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Speaker 1: to make that appointment and they tell you, okay, it's February,

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Speaker 1: you will see you in uh June seventeenth. So in

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Speaker 1: the meantime, in the lean time, you know you're feeling

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Speaker 1: a pain in your lower abdomen. You don't know what's

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Speaker 1: going on, you don't know why your sex is painful.

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Speaker 1: You don't know why your your psychle is so heavy

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Speaker 1: and it keeps coming back. You know, what do you do?

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Speaker 1: You end up going to an emergency room in COVID America,

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Speaker 1: Lord Blush, And not to mention that people don't believe

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Speaker 1: it's when we say we're in pain. How about that?

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Speaker 1: How about that? And the lash back for Serena Williams

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Speaker 1: stating that she almost died. She's telling you something. She's

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Speaker 1: telling you something's wrong based on a pre existing come

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Speaker 1: on pre existing condition. So it's not even like there's

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Speaker 1: no record of this. It's not like these people don't

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Speaker 1: have her medical records. Like. That's the part that is infuriating, infuriating,

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Speaker 1: And why why would we lie? Again? They say three

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Speaker 1: or four times more likely to die from pregnancy we

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Speaker 1: are in white women and childbirth. That's according to the

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Speaker 1: American Heart Association. Why would anybody lie about pain? Well,

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Speaker 1: they don't think we experienced pain the same. I think

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Speaker 1: we can take more pain strong. You know, we just

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Speaker 1: used to squat out in the cotton fields and just

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Speaker 1: give birth her kids and my kids, yes, yes, ma'am,

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Speaker 1: well I breastfeed your baby and mine and too, Yes,

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Speaker 1: my first child was born in a hospital. But after

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Speaker 1: after our first child, I shifted from hospital birthing to

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Speaker 1: home birthing. And you know, I actually got a lot

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Speaker 1: of shit about that. What I did. I got a

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Speaker 1: lot of pushback about that, saying that it wasn't safe,

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Speaker 1: that it was backward, that it was Um, I would

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Speaker 1: you know that I should be in a hospital. I

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Speaker 1: will never forget. Tom Joyner totally came from my neck.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm, what please. I don't remember his exact words,

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Speaker 1: but I came on his show to talk about home birthing,

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Speaker 1: and you know, and he just kind of suggested that

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Speaker 1: it was unsafe and outdated. And I kindly said, well,

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Speaker 1: your grandma was probably born like that at home. And

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Speaker 1: what he said, and your mama too, probably What did this?

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Speaker 1: Omega so Tuskey graduate? What did he say to that? Um?

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Speaker 1: You know, they just kind of laughed and giggled. But

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Speaker 1: I felt that I was being made fun of. And

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Speaker 1: now you fast forward to now and this information comes

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Speaker 1: out about black women and childbirth and home birthing and

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Speaker 1: particularly with midwives or of color has become a much

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Speaker 1: safer option for black women. And to think that I

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Speaker 1: was be rated on public radio, how many years ago

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Speaker 1: was that. I think it was like maybe sixteen seventeen

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Speaker 1: years ago. But what's your new? And I ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: say new, because you always been a conscious individual. But

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Speaker 1: but I would say with you very well. And it's

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Speaker 1: funny to me because it just sounds like as black

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Speaker 1: people sometimes we just don't know ourselves so well that

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Speaker 1: we end up in this thing of like not knowing

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Speaker 1: and then laughing when it comes from us in the

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Speaker 1: first place, in our history and our heritage. And you know,

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Speaker 1: so I look at Tom and I'm like, wow, here

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Speaker 1: you are an informer somewhat of an educator for some

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Speaker 1: and you're laughing at your history and your heritage. And

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Speaker 1: what you know too that you're saying is correct is

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Speaker 1: somebody else's and what they taught to you. And it's

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Speaker 1: just sometimes black I just man, I love my people.

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Speaker 1: I mean, and it's much respect of Tom join Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's not just him, it's just But the point is

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Speaker 1: the point is that, yes, you're absolutely right. We we

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Speaker 1: forget what's ours so so thoroughly that when we see

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Speaker 1: it presented back to us, we think it's for it

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Speaker 1: and we make fun of it. We recognize that. So

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Speaker 1: it's like that whole thing is. It's kind of a

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Speaker 1: mind blower, you know what I mean. But like I

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Speaker 1: said to to think now down the road, fifteen sixteen

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Speaker 1: years down the road, that now we're having a conversation,

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Speaker 1: we're just having a conversation about how dangerous it is

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Speaker 1: for a black woman to give birth in a hospital.

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Speaker 1: M m m m mmmmmmm. You know, and to remember

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Speaker 1: that I was treated like I was some backwater dummy,

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Speaker 1: all kinds of names for real, for real. Well, honestly,

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Speaker 1: it was a little bit let me just say this

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Speaker 1: mid Winfrey, and we don't have to stay on this subject,

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Speaker 1: but mid Winfrey at that time was kind of a

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Speaker 1: thing that was mostly being done by white women who

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Speaker 1: had the means because you had to pay out of

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Speaker 1: pocket for it. Wow. So by the time Erica started

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Speaker 1: talking about this, well you know, I was babies down

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Speaker 1: the road by that time. And I mean she tried

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Speaker 1: to talking about it publicly, you know. And so at

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Speaker 1: that time, amongst that particular group, people who will have wealth,

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Speaker 1: entertainment industry people would rather have a baby at home

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Speaker 1: and could they could afford it. But see now you're

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Speaker 1: talking about we maybe know a little bit better, but

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Speaker 1: it's still not accessible. So a choice that's even better

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Speaker 1: for you is still not accessible. At the end of

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Speaker 1: the day, the bottom line is that black women do

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Speaker 1: not have healthy choices, and when they do have healthy choices,

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Speaker 1: it's not accessible to Let me ask your question, do

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Speaker 1: you feel better about seeing a black guy incologist? Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm more on male and female mm hmm hmm. Maybe

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Speaker 1: now because of my Maybe now I would make that choice.

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Speaker 1: But in the past, I always had really attentive because

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Speaker 1: I've had some really good white hippie women and quote

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Speaker 1: unquote obstetricians. Although I have never had an obstetrician, I've

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Speaker 1: always had a midwife. Every midwife that ever gave birth

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Speaker 1: to any of my children was a white woman. I

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Speaker 1: had never had a black mid wife. In fact, to

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Speaker 1: this day, there's only one certified black midwife in the

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Speaker 1: city to Philadelphia. I see Mohammed. She's the only one. Okay, okay, ladies, ladies, ladies.

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Speaker 1: That means that if you are a nurse, if you

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Speaker 1: assist births in the hospital, there is there is a

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Speaker 1: role for you. There is a role for you. What

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Speaker 1: I understood I had a duela, and what I understood

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Speaker 1: as what a Duela does. Is the doula takes specific

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Speaker 1: care of the mother during the birth. Yeah, And because

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Speaker 1: everything and everybody else is very very focused on the child.

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Speaker 1: And that's not a that's not a problem. But somebody

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Speaker 1: has to take care of you. Somebody has to pay

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Speaker 1: attention to the color of your skin. That you may

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Speaker 1: be losing blood and everybody's noticing you may be dehydrated,

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Speaker 1: and nobody's paying attention you know you you may be

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Speaker 1: experiencing some pain that it's not a part of the labor.

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Speaker 1: So the doula takes care of the mother and the

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Speaker 1: midwife takes care of the child. Thank you, Jill. But

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Speaker 1: I will say, if your wife is worth her soul,

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Speaker 1: she has an assistant. Yeah, and that assistant or multiple assistants, Yes,

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Speaker 1: And those those women do oftentime play those roles as well,

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Speaker 1: play a very doula like role as well. There is

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Speaker 1: a position for you, ladies, you nurses. You are necessary

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Speaker 1: and needed. I actually feel a lot better having a

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Speaker 1: black kindecologist. I don't know, maybe it's when you start

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Speaker 1: feeling that way after I was told to have a

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Speaker 1: hysterectory right right, right, right exactly right, of course, after

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Speaker 1: then I was like, wait a minute. And and then

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Speaker 1: to well, really to hear from my mother have somebody

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Speaker 1: say the same thing to her around the same time,

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Speaker 1: like clearly they were wrong. And you know what, I

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Speaker 1: definitely don't want a white male now. I definitely done

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Speaker 1: because the white man was the one that told me

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Speaker 1: to go off and have me a baby by myself.

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Speaker 1: And just yeah. And also I was gonna say too

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Speaker 1: to a lot of women who even if you don't

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Speaker 1: have children, I look now for midwives or to be

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Speaker 1: my guy. No, because right, I was gonna say that

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Speaker 1: for years in my early part of giving birth. My

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Speaker 1: my midwife gave me my quote unquote, well woman visits, yeah,

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Speaker 1: because they have a different temperament. And I remember, I

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Speaker 1: remember the first time I ever went to one, she

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Speaker 1: looked at me and she said to me, she was like,

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Speaker 1: huh have you been sexually a song too before? And

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Speaker 1: I was like yeah, I was like how do you

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Speaker 1: know that? And she was like, I can tell by

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Speaker 1: the way your legs tend to always fall back together.

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Speaker 1: She was like you m M. And from that moment on,

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I wanna yeah, I want I

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Speaker 1: wanna man wife And so yeah, yeah, because they're perfectly

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Speaker 1: capable of doing it. But let me let me throw

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Speaker 1: this out here, so do we understand, like, how can

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Speaker 1: you give you know, how systemic this thing goes? Okay,

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Speaker 1: And I can only speak on the state of Pennsylvania.

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Speaker 1: So at one point, this was a while ago, so

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Speaker 1: it may have changed, but I doubt it. So there

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Speaker 1: was a time when I was using a certified nurse midwife,

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Speaker 1: which is basically a person who is also a registered

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Speaker 1: nurse as well, Like that's the only difference. And what

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Speaker 1: happened was she in order for her to conduct business,

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Speaker 1: she had to pay very high malpractice insurance. So in

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Speaker 1: order to afford the malpractice insurance, she had to partner

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Speaker 1: with a doctor. Now, mind you, the only way you

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Speaker 1: can partner with a doctor to share that expense is

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Speaker 1: if you are a certified nurse. There we go. Now,

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Speaker 1: there are many experts lay midwives or midwives who are

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Speaker 1: not nurses but are certified midwives. So there's lay midwife,

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Speaker 1: and then there are certified midwives who have gone to

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Speaker 1: school for midwifery and they have certification. Those women, if

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Speaker 1: they're not able to partner with the doctor, the cost

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Speaker 1: of operation is so high that it affects the quality

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Speaker 1: of care because then they have to have more patients.

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Speaker 1: So some of the reasons why a person would go

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Speaker 1: to a midwife, they can't even offer that because they

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Speaker 1: have to have so many patients just to meet the

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Speaker 1: expense of existing in business. And that's an and a

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Speaker 1: lot of really good midwives. We lost a lot of

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Speaker 1: good midwives in Pennsylvania into that not being operating, just

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Speaker 1: operating costs. I will say I do like that kind

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Speaker 1: of age, to be honest, I did like the fact

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Speaker 1: that my midwife was also a nurse practitioner or whatever

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Speaker 1: as they should be in my but I know it's

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Speaker 1: extra actually yeah, but why, why exactly do we honor

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Speaker 1: that more? Why do we believe that that means you know,

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Speaker 1: how many You're right, he's a doctor, an actual doctor

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Speaker 1: told y'all to have his director a doctor, the person

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Speaker 1: with the education. I'm sorry for me. It's it's about knowledge, experience,

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Speaker 1: and quality of care. When you're pregnant, you're constantly thinking

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Speaker 1: about what can go wrong, you know, and you're you're

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Speaker 1: trying to cover all your bases. So god forbid, you

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Speaker 1: have a midwife and the baby doesn't make it, or

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Speaker 1: the woman the mother doesn't make But you know that

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Speaker 1: midwives actually have a lower infant mortality rate. Yes, I do.

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Speaker 1: And so it's just I think we definitely have reason

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Speaker 1: to be concerned when we're pregnant anything. For sure. I

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Speaker 1: think if most people are trying to cover their basis,

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Speaker 1: so they're going to the place where they think their

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Speaker 1: basis are covered. But nonetheless, like you said, midwifery has

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Speaker 1: a lower mortality rate, I would say I was there too,

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Speaker 1: so I'm not even going to the front. When I

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Speaker 1: got pregnant for the first time, the first time I

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Speaker 1: heard the word midwife, I was like, what was that? Doula?

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Speaker 1: I was like, what was that that? What? What do

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Speaker 1: they do? But the first time that my midwife suggested

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Speaker 1: home birth, I was like, huh. I just thought it

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Speaker 1: was gonna be really messy. And I was like, I

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Speaker 1: got enough going on, you know. Yeah, there were a

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Speaker 1: couple of things that concerned me. One I did not

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Speaker 1: want to have about movement while I was getting first

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Speaker 1: so Asian did. And as you heard about these things,

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Speaker 1: yes that happens. Yes, I was in labor for thirty

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Speaker 1: six hours I'm talking about. So I got up and

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Speaker 1: I went to the battle. Everybody was like, what are

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Speaker 1: you doing. I'm like, I'm I'm not a tooilet okay,

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Speaker 1: or in the bushes if necessary. But you know, luckily

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Speaker 1: that has not been my route. I'm just saying that

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Speaker 1: that was really important to me, that I was not

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Speaker 1: that no, got it, got it, got it. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know that's something. Some things are just a fact

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Speaker 1: of the act. You know what I'm saying. You're giving birth.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of concerns and worries, you know about

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Speaker 1: when when you're pregnant. There's a lot of worries. So

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Speaker 1: I understand why people would want to see a doctor

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Speaker 1: in a hospital. I'm just saying to please look at

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Speaker 1: all of your options in whatever city you're in. And

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Speaker 1: I mean everyone is not a good candidate for every

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Speaker 1: side manner. What do I like? A good matters, It matters.

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Speaker 1: But I want to I want to add that these

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Speaker 1: women aren't just nice people who have good bedside men.

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Speaker 1: And these are women who are learning. They're learning, they're educated,

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Speaker 1: they're trained what to do. Huh. It's take eight years

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Speaker 1: to become a certified kind of nurse, the CNM. You

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00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,239
Speaker 1: get to get need you, we all need you. And

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Speaker 1: a nursing experience and one year a nursing experience. It's

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Speaker 1: a lot. It is a lot, but it's it's it's

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Speaker 1: a it's a treasure. You as a duela, as a midwife,

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Speaker 1: you are a treasure to a lot of women. And

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Speaker 1: it's so crazy to me how witch crash has just

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00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 1: really played a parts. Craft has played a real part

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Speaker 1: in the absence of health for folks. For people. If

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Speaker 1: you know about herbs, which we're gonna kill you. If

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00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,680
Speaker 1: you know birth, you're a witch, We're gonna kill you.

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Speaker 1: Like that was at this point in the beginning, like

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Speaker 1: you know what, we forget who we are? How about

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Speaker 1: that as black people. Jed asked me if aunt Erica

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Speaker 1: was a witch. I said, yes, she is. He said, well,

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Speaker 1: it's Nanna, you're witch. I said, yes, it's a mummy.

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Speaker 1: Are you with I said yes, it was was blue

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Speaker 1: Baby with you. Yes, yes, I am shared bitch. I'm

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00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 1: just joking. That used to be my mother's girl. I

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Speaker 1: had to watch that tonight. I love that. I haven't

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Speaker 1: seen it in years, but it was my mother's favorite.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, absolutely, they put such a negative connotation on

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Speaker 1: the word, or created a word to sound evil or

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Speaker 1: or dark and told it to ever who No, this

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Speaker 1: is just someone who understands the human body, understands herbs

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Speaker 1: and nature. You know, I need more of that and

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Speaker 1: not less. Huh, I said, how else do you get magic?

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Speaker 1: But I wishes, yeah, more conversation after the break. I

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Speaker 1: think we have kind of entered into a season where

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Speaker 1: we're embracing you know, holistic care, more herbs, Chris, diet crystals,

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Speaker 1: all of these oil, essential oils, all kinds of different

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Speaker 1: things to address our health, so to keep us out

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Speaker 1: of the system, and that goes into that old school

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Speaker 1: feared and we all like, well, black people hate going

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Speaker 1: to the doctor. Black men definitely don't like going to

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Speaker 1: the doctor. Take some to us, and y'all know what

386
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 1: I'm concerned about, though, I think gonna lie. I'm concerned

387
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Speaker 1: about how women, and particularly Black women are being treated

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Speaker 1: under these COVID conditions, Like when they go in with COVID,

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Speaker 1: when I'm having nobody to to advocate for you, and

390
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:17,239
Speaker 1: I always think about my mom. Nobody has advocate. When

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00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 1: my mother was ill, different times she was sick, I

392
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 1: was her advocate, My sister was her advocate. So it's

393
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 1: like they knew when they came on that floor. They

394
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 1: knew who Susan grading was, they knew who her daughters were,

395
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Speaker 1: they knew what to do and what not to do,

396
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Speaker 1: and when things didn't get done, then it was like

397
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 1: a storm, you feel me. So I do wonder how

398
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 1: everyone really, But you know, I always particularly have a

399
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 1: place in my heart for Black women and our elders

400
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 1: in these situations, whether they either have COVID or if

401
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: they are just in hospitals alone because they can no

402
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 1: longer have their advocates in and out with them under

403
00:25:55,400 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 1: these conditions, I wonder about that and the quality of

404
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 1: the care that they're getting. I don't wonder about it Asia,

405
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 1: because it is that is what it is. I just

406
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,360
Speaker 1: I lost the aunt that way during COVID this year,

407
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 1: Like to my I swear, we still don't know how

408
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 1: she's passed, and she passed alone, even though she got

409
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:16,479
Speaker 1: like grand mags like, I hate to say this to you,

410
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:21,360
Speaker 1: but whatever your fears they are, they are real. And

411
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Speaker 1: it's gonna be a lot of people I know, especially

412
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Speaker 1: Black women, but it's gonna be a lot of people

413
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 1: this year that we lost and we do not really

414
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 1: know why. I remember when people and the hood we're

415
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,360
Speaker 1: dying from pneumonia. Nobody wanted to say it's h V.

416
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 1: That was a big thing. Mm hmm, that was well, yeah,

417
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 1: well the healthcare around those early victims of HIV and

418
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: AIDS was horrible, was absolutely horrible. I mean just the

419
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 1: careless want carelessness. Not not to say that they weren't

420
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 1: doing what they were supposed to be doing because nobody knew,

421
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,439
Speaker 1: and that everybody was trying to figure it out, you know,

422
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: but how biased people were because of HIV, How how

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00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:14,960
Speaker 1: biased the health care system was, how poorly the gay

424
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:20,720
Speaker 1: man came into the hospital, how disrespected you're coming for help.

425
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: So where are the advocates for sick people? That is

426
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 1: a business, that is a company, that is something. If

427
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 1: you're out here and you're looking two, I'm gonna tell

428
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: you don't look to make money, look to do good

429
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 1: money or show up. What what is the need? What

430
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:49,199
Speaker 1: do people need? We need advocates. We need to be

431
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 1: able to call somewhere sometime and say they're telling me

432
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 1: that they want me to have it his directed me

433
00:27:55,920 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 1: and I'm scared or this is something clearly that is irreversible.

434
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:10,960
Speaker 1: Who do I talk to my aunt? Talked me out

435
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 1: of it. I mean, I wasn't. I wasn't she I

436
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,439
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna do it because those are my parts. And

437
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: I was like, I just have to deal with my parts.

438
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 1: But my aunt was like, God told me you're gonna

439
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: have a healthy, fat, five baby boy. And I was

440
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 1: like crazy. You know, I remember thinking, oh, this crazy woman.

441
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 1: But ten years later though, ten years later, she was like,

442
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 1: she just said, you are. My mother has never been

443
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:45,080
Speaker 1: wrong about the sex of a child. Ever. If a

444
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 1: woman is practant, my mother will make you sound stand up,

445
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 1: walk over there and go back the go sit down,

446
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 1: stand back up. And she has never been wrong in

447
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,760
Speaker 1: the history of my life. She's all, that's a boy.

448
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 1: Oh that's a girl. I mean, she's got a shame

449
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: been wrong once. Yeah. I like the witches. I'm for

450
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: the witches. I'm down for the witches too, because I

451
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: feel like that's our biggest tool in the toolbox as

452
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 1: it goes moving forward. Because like you know, we talked

453
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 1: a lot about childbirth, but there's so many things that

454
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: affect black women disproportionately that just put us such risk,

455
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 1: you know, whether it's heart disease, or it's diabetes or

456
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 1: it's you know, I don't know how blood pressure, you know,

457
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 1: all these different things that we're dealing with. It's it's

458
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 1: that that that sisterhood, that motherhood, that group of women

459
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: that we're exchanging information. I ain't gonna out of you.

460
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 1: I've gotten most of my information about my health and

461
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 1: wellness through the network of women in my life, through

462
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 1: the network of black women I like I call I

463
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 1: will call them before I call my doctor. Hey, girl, like,

464
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 1: my side is hurt right up underneath my left titty,

465
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 1: Like has that ever happened to you? Yeah? Girl, that

466
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 1: ain't nothing. Girl, you're gonna get down in the baby

467
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: pose or what that? What's that thing that you'all that

468
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 1: you do. Get down in the baby pose, put your chest,

469
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: you know, put your needs to your chest or something

470
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 1: like that. Girl, that's gas or that's this Your woman

471
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: friends will tell you, girl, go to the doctor. Like yeah,

472
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I'm taking supping. Go to the doctor.

473
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 1: So there's you know, to me, I feel like we're

474
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: out here fighting this fight together, trying to say, keep

475
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: each other healthy, keep each other alive. But you know,

476
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: there's always more work to do, there's always more room.

477
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 1: We need more We need more. We need more attention,

478
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 1: more research. We need more black doctors we meet, need

479
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: more black midwives. We need more respect for the witches.

480
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 1: They need more respect with the healthcare industry. About the

481
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 1: double witches, right, like the ones that are in the

482
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 1: healthcare industry doing double time. Like Dr Frederick Burton in

483
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 1: Philadelphia is uh, guess what you called a warlock. Yeah,

484
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 1: he's an m D. He's an m D medicine man

485
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: um He's an m D. But he also is heavily

486
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 1: a weaken He's heavily into herbs and holistic ways of

487
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 1: taking care of yourself. Now, you're gonna take a lot

488
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 1: of vitamins, but apparently this is what the body needs.

489
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 1: We need a lot of nutrients and healthy alive foods. Now,

490
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: you might be saying, hey, Jill, you know, ain't you overweight? Yes, darling,

491
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 1: But I'm working. I'm working towards it, towards being more

492
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: and more healthy. I would like to live as long

493
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 1: as my grandmother, if not past that, and even in that,

494
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to suffer. And what I'm learning as

495
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 1: I grow, what I'm learning is this. We were talking

496
00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: a little earlier about a neural muscular re educator. I

497
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: had three of them in my life. They're not exactly

498
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 1: mostly it's you know, word of mouth how you find one.

499
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 1: But they are people who, yes they're massus. That is

500
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,239
Speaker 1: a necessary thing. I don't I don't want you to say, oh,

501
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: that's a luxury. No. Moving the fluid around in the

502
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 1: body is a necessary thing. Moving the tendons, paying attention

503
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: to your your muscles is very very important. Fluid and

504
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 1: mucus are a big problem in the human body. M

505
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: m milk. Anyway, y'all know we're not willing tolerant that stuff,

506
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 1: right or or meat for that man, I'm gonna go

507
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 1: back to Dr Burton again, Frederick Burton in Philadelphia, when

508
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 1: he takes your blood. Having a holistic doctor is really

509
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 1: the goal in my opinion. This is this is what

510
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: I do know. When they take blood at a regular

511
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 1: doctor's office, they take blood and they're looking for specific things.

512
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 1: This kind of doctor, a holistic doctor, looks averything. Gag.

513
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 1: My mother was bitten the face by a dog when

514
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: she was six years old. She went to see a

515
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: holistic doctor in Philadelphia. It was years ago. She must

516
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 1: have been in her early fifties. She still had rabies.

517
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 1: The medicines are too suppressed, not to heal, not to redirect,

518
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: they are too suppressed, so in her stomach and all

519
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 1: of that other stuff. But he asked her, have you

520
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 1: ever been bitten by a dog? She said, yah, when

521
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 1: I was a child, she was still carrying rabies, which

522
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 1: means that she also had rabies when she was carrying me.

523
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 1: Yeagg So how does that affect you? I don't know.

524
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 1: Let's get me mad enough, we'll see. It might be

525
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,879
Speaker 1: a very small trace. But the point is it still there?

526
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 1: That's the player, The point is it still there. I

527
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 1: had to deal with anger very very earlier, very early.

528
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:31,360
Speaker 1: Don't call her, not call me you want to. I'm okay,

529
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,040
Speaker 1: I'm all right. So I know that this time has

530
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:38,879
Speaker 1: been really hard for us, with COVID and separating ourselves

531
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 1: and all of it. It is super important to pay

532
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: attention to your health just cause, and as a woman,

533
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: you have to pay so much attention to how your

534
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 1: body is moving and flowing, how this cycle is. Write

535
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 1: it down. Pay attention to your body. If you have

536
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: a if you have a smell or itch or anything

537
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 1: that is not normal to you, do not ignore it.

538
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: If you have a pain in your in your abdomen,

539
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 1: if you have a pain anywhere, don't ignore yourself. Your

540
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 1: body is trying to communicate with you. And it's super

541
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 1: important because it doesn't seem like the rest of this

542
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 1: world is paying attention to us. You know, talk to

543
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,280
Speaker 1: your mother, talk to your grandmother. Talked to an elder

544
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 1: woman who's experienced, you know, her body for a long time,

545
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 1: and pay attention. Reread up on some vitamins. Try it.

546
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 1: Maybe you are apple cider vinegar person, you know, and

547
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 1: help with that blood flow. He give it a shot.

548
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: Maybe see mass works. But you maybe have a clear

549
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 1: up skin. Maybe maybe it is your silver for you.

550
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:49,399
Speaker 1: Try some acal water. Try hey, hey, here we go.

551
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 1: Give it all a shot. Give it a shot. Find

552
00:35:56,640 --> 00:36:00,520
Speaker 1: people that you can trust. And if it doesn't feel where,

553
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 1: I go to somebody else and keep on trying. You

554
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 1: might have to travel a little bit further. And I

555
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,439
Speaker 1: know that's a pain in the ass, but I don't

556
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: trust the clinics. I would like to. And that was

557
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 1: getting worse because you know, you have you know cares,

558
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 1: which you know big business. Okay, let me tell you

559
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 1: about urgent care. Okay, come on, here we go. Listen

560
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: to this ship here, y'all. I was itching. I could

561
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 1: not figure it out. I said, oh, this must be

562
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 1: a yeast infection. Okay, So I go and get the

563
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 1: stuff from the store and I do what I'm supposed

564
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 1: to do. I eat the yoga, I drink the crampberry.

565
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 1: Thank you for saying the yogurt, because it doesn't make

566
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: a difference, right, But it's it's not. It's not. I

567
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 1: don't know what's going on. And if you've ever had

568
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: an itch that just really really itches, you will scratch

569
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,879
Speaker 1: the skin off for yourself. You will make them draw.

570
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 1: It will be a thing. Listen, come on, now we're talking.

571
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: Let's talk care because I can't stop it and I

572
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 1: don't understand what's going on. And they tell me. The

573
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:17,400
Speaker 1: lady looks and she says, you have herpies. I said, uh,

574
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 1: what do you mean. Who waits to be this old

575
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 1: and it's grown to get herbies? What are you talking about?

576
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,439
Speaker 1: She was like, well, you know, that's what it looks

577
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,120
Speaker 1: like to me. And I was like, oh my god,

578
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 1: I can't believe this. I believe what she said. I

579
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 1: got the little blue pills and I took them. I

580
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: took them for over six eight months mental mental trauma distress.

581
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: This is something that will never go away. I finally

582
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 1: find a black guy in colleges where I was. At

583
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: first I could not find could not find it. Went

584
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,760
Speaker 1: I went to see her, checked me out. I told

585
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 1: her that I had herpes. She was like, okay, do

586
00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 1: you need another prescription for the blue pills because they're

587
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 1: supposed to take the symptoms or whatever. Way, I'm just

588
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: inside going crazy but trying to still exist. What do

589
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 1: you do? You have to keep moving on anyway? I

590
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 1: come back. I got the same itch. I said, all

591
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 1: you know, I think I'm having an outbreak. What do

592
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 1: I know? She says, this just don't look like herbies.

593
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 1: I said, well, the lady, you know, when I went

594
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 1: to see the other doctors, they said that's what I had.

595
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 1: And she was like, let me take blood. Oh take blood.

596
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: So she takes my blood and she said, uh, girl,

597
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 1: you don't you don't have her pies. I said, what

598
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 1: what do I have? I have candida? Oh, which is

599
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:59,240
Speaker 1: kind of like, but mind you, I took those pills

600
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:03,640
Speaker 1: only ready put that in your body, taking those pills

601
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 1: every trying to be responsible, all right, So that that

602
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:13,840
Speaker 1: that that is big enough. Time passes. My mother wakes

603
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 1: up and she's got a sword on her lips. She

604
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 1: goes to urgent care because it hurts, it's painful, ugly.

605
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:25,200
Speaker 1: She's like, what is this? They tell her she has herpies.

606
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 1: They give her the blue pills. She takes the blue pills.

607
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:31,399
Speaker 1: She's telling me all about it, and I said, Mom,

608
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,280
Speaker 1: I think you need to go see your doctor. Guess

609
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 1: what it was, ladies a spider mite. So I just

610
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:45,840
Speaker 1: want I have a friend who when while she happened,

611
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:51,440
Speaker 1: she always say fire bird, do you understand me? So?

612
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: Because and what she means by fire burn is I'm

613
00:39:55,040 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 1: thinner set all this ship? Do you understand me? All

614
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 1: of this is going up and smoke? You understand what

615
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 1: I'm saying, girl, bid is not in ash, No, it's

616
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 1: it's best up. But can we just also admit that?

617
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 1: And I'm not I'm not saying that. You don't even

618
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: remember who I saw at the clinic? Who love, I

619
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 1: don't know who it was at the urgent care. But

620
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:30,280
Speaker 1: down the lessons, the other lessons. Don't ever let nobody

621
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 1: look at you and tell you got herpies? Take blood.

622
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 1: Take you know I didn't know, no better not get

623
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 1: it the understand but like, don't just look at me

624
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,840
Speaker 1: and tell me I got herpies? Can? I think it

625
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 1: looks like I'm gonna tell y'all this much and I'm

626
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 1: not playing around. Listen, play play with me, Play with

627
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:56,439
Speaker 1: a blue pill, ash as you hear me, show fire

628
00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:06,240
Speaker 1: by fire, Ash, get a second opinion, go see somebody else.

629
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,240
Speaker 1: Maybe the clinic is good for the moment. The urgent

630
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 1: care is good for the moment, so that you can feel,

631
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, some kind of peace of mind or

632
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 1: at least some understanding of what's going on. But do

633
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: not take that, Do not take that as the word

634
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 1: as the finale word. You must see the kids, follow

635
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 1: up the kids, follow up search, Yeah, follow up research,

636
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 1: don't take you know, it's like you said, second opinion.

637
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,399
Speaker 1: You know, take your health seriously. That that's the bottom line.

638
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 1: Take your health seriously. Be your own advocate. Make sure

639
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 1: that you are looking into things. You know. We are

640
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:47,920
Speaker 1: all socialized to believe doctors this is there's no shame

641
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 1: in it. We all have done it at some point.

642
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 1: It's a practice. It's a practice. Practice. While saying AGA

643
00:41:55,640 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 1: in medicine is a practice, they're practicing medicine right, Well,

644
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 1: I would say, be careful practicing on me, because you

645
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 1: hear me, burn fire, burn fire, you hear me, m M.

646
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: As long as we're clear that, as long as we're

647
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:28,280
Speaker 1: miss y'all, I missed you too. A little big clinic

648
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: wants to ask them birke control pills. She asked me

649
00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:31,799
Speaker 1: how old it was. I was like thirty two. She

650
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 1: was like, I think you should take some prenatal films.

651
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:39,080
Speaker 1: I'm just adding to you for you, Jill, just the

652
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 1: last time. You should see our faces. She was like,

653
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: you black. You ain't got no kids, right right? Right?

654
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:56,439
Speaker 1: Who says that? Who come out of them? Yes? Oh God,

655
00:42:56,600 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 1: I have to have a seiy moment. Dear God, Dear God,

656
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,280
Speaker 1: Please don't let me come across no doctors, no nurses,

657
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,719
Speaker 1: no health professionals, in which that would tell me that

658
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: I have things that I don't suggest, things that they

659
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 1: shouldn't suggest, say things to me that they know are

660
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:17,719
Speaker 1: sensitive and wrong, be racist, and believe that I have

661
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:22,360
Speaker 1: no pain. Please God give me the strength to advocate

662
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: for myself. Lord, Please God, let these people understand that

663
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:30,200
Speaker 1: I'm not to be played with, and that if I

664
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,759
Speaker 1: have to turn into the person that I don't want

665
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: to turn into. Many will suffer the Lord. I'm a

666
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 1: peaceful person and much like my home girl, could you,

667
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to jail. I thank you

668
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: for your love and support. Amen. More conversation after the

669
00:43:53,200 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 1: break coming up next on the show What's on Your

670
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 1: Heart an occasional segment where we're check in with people

671
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 1: we respect about how they're really feeling. Holl on, y'all.

672
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:17,879
Speaker 1: I think that's somebody calling. That must mean it's term

673
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: for what's hot? Hello, Hi, Hi, Who is this? It's

674
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 1: Michell So his sister wife, My sister wife from the

675
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 1: show First Wives Club on v ET somebody plus plus

676
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 1: v ET plus size. It is such a pleasure to

677
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: get this phone called, Ladies and gentlemen. This is a comedian.

678
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: She is an actreast, She is a mother of two,

679
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 1: and she is an author as well. Um, Miss Thing

680
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:59,440
Speaker 1: has been working all over this place. She surprises me

681
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,240
Speaker 1: all the time with how much and what a work

682
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:06,320
Speaker 1: ethic that she has. I'm always impressed. Got darn baby,

683
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 1: are you tired? Yeah? You know, I really haven't slept

684
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 1: in six years anyway, So this is just fun. Hi

685
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: bo Hi, listen, we have one question for you. Watch

686
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:22,759
Speaker 1: on your heart. Oh my goodness. Well, now that I've

687
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 1: taken my husband's dick off my heart, this is what's

688
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:28,839
Speaker 1: on my heart. Why would you take your husband's digger

689
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:31,879
Speaker 1: off your heart? Because I need a minute to breathe. Well,

690
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 1: you know how like you have sex with someone that's

691
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:35,759
Speaker 1: so good, it really feels like they just put their

692
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 1: dick on your heart. Yeah, bless up, bless up. But

693
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 1: now that my twins are turning to and we are

694
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 1: going back to set for a season two, the number

695
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 1: two feels like it's important, right, And so a thing

696
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:55,400
Speaker 1: that happens when you work with a whole new crew

697
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 1: is you're showing pictures of your kids and they're like, oh,

698
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 1: what kind of pregnancy was it? And since I had

699
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 1: a surrogate, I'm like expressive. And so I'm learning that

700
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 1: I have to retell this whole story again of this

701
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 1: really painful, traumatic time in my life that was so

702
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 1: high stressful, but like in a short elevator conversation to

703
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 1: keep it moving. So the only way I could really

704
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 1: do that is being over the mountain of Okay, I'm

705
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: so comfortable talking about this painful experience because the kids

706
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:29,960
Speaker 1: are here and even getting into IVF and the surrogacy

707
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 1: of it all. And people don't know anything about their

708
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 1: bodies until something goes wrong with it, much like their car.

709
00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 1: So this is what's on my heart and my mind.

710
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 1: Basically us just making ourselves aware that very normal things

711
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 1: to us can happen in a very different way, like

712
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 1: IVF and getting pregnant and having a beautiful walking angel

713
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: on earth facilitate your kids for you? Oh did I

714
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:56,920
Speaker 1: answer the question so much? So much to put in

715
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 1: nowhere to put it, you know what I mean? But

716
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 1: you have put it. You put it in your book.

717
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 1: I did. Why did I write a book? I can't

718
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:08,040
Speaker 1: even finish a book that's just wild. So my book

719
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:12,399
Speaker 1: is called Survival of the Thickest in a small minded

720
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:17,760
Speaker 1: world out. Yeah, I realized doing standard for eighteen years,

721
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: I know how to be funny and I know how

722
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,240
Speaker 1: to tickle people. But now that you have this platform

723
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 1: and people's attention, how do we just get back to

724
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 1: kindness and making people feel good? You know? And so

725
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 1: I was podcasting, you know, doing other podcasts and storytelling

726
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 1: and doing all these stories that didn't fit into a

727
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 1: stand up routine, and then people it really resonated with them.

728
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 1: You know. It was the cancer survivor at twenty three

729
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 1: that had to freeze her eggs and then go down

730
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 1: the circusy route. It was the gay couple in Europe

731
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,720
Speaker 1: that's like, we need a surrocate. I understand your journey.

732
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:58,359
Speaker 1: It was like the thick girls who their parents are

733
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 1: telling them if you just lost weight, may you'd be

734
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 1: able to get pregnant. It's like everybody's coming at you

735
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 1: like their doctor filling doctor oz. And it's like, but

736
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 1: how do you take care of yourself and still stick

737
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:12,240
Speaker 1: up for yourself? So after talking about it on stage

738
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 1: a little bit, I'm like, okay, we can. We can

739
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 1: write this down and share your stories. And then it

740
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 1: just turned into like, well ship, how did I come

741
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 1: to owning my sexuality? You know, because I grew up

742
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 1: so Catholic. My uncle's the archbishop of Jamaica, so it

743
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 1: was always church all the time, and it was straightening

744
00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:36,959
Speaker 1: my hair and covering my freckles, and don't talk too loud,

745
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: don't laugh so loud, don't stick your chest out. If

746
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 1: someone looked in my direction, it was my fault. Cover

747
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 1: your shoulders in church. It was like all these rules

748
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 1: and I'm like, but how do I color outside the lines?

749
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 1: Because that's what I feel like I need to do.

750
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:54,759
Speaker 1: Going down the memory lane of how I came to

751
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: owning my sexuality. I felt like it was important for

752
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 1: young people who I feel like they always have to

753
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 1: apologize for wondering what they want. So at the end

754
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: of it, I really hope people obviously laugh because it

755
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: will be funny. But my whole thing is education through love.

756
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,279
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna judge you for not knowing, just like

757
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,279
Speaker 1: I don't want you to judge me for not knowing

758
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 1: what you've been through. But can we just talk about

759
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 1: it like it's a big Can the world just be

760
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: a big, gass dinner party where people are just like,

761
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:29,600
Speaker 1: you know what, something similar happened to me? You know what?

762
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 1: That is so crazy me too, because we definitely have

763
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:37,479
Speaker 1: more in common than not to. So you got twins, Yes,

764
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 1: I got some twins too. I know you haven't slept

765
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:43,640
Speaker 1: in a long time, ma'am. Oh how old are your twins?

766
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,840
Speaker 1: They're gonna be thirteen in a couple of days. Wow,

767
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 1: congulations and you're still smiling in this moment. I'm sorry

768
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 1: you know, Michelle just said earlier to how you gotta

769
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 1: tell your story real quick. As Asia is telling you

770
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 1: about her twins, I'm thinking, in my mind, when it's

771
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 1: Asia gonna tell her that she got four more to

772
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 1: add to these two, and that ain't nothing happened twins

773
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 1: or something. But it's all relative, I think. I think.

774
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 1: I think if you experience a child, I just say

775
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 1: it's it's all the same struggle, to be honest. I mean,

776
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 1: having six kids has a specific kind of struggle, but

777
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 1: I think all mothering has the same ship if you

778
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:25,920
Speaker 1: really yeah, yeah, I really think it's all. But if

779
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:29,160
Speaker 1: you get two infants at once, there are just some

780
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: conversations you just can't have unless you had two infants

781
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:38,799
Speaker 1: at one time. I'm really trying to, you know, not

782
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:43,560
Speaker 1: act like it's like I'm special. But when my friends

783
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:46,799
Speaker 1: complain about the one, I'm like, you can you can go,

784
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 1: you can leave the room, Like when that one's sleeping

785
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 1: is a whole other one. So, you know, after the

786
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:55,200
Speaker 1: first year, I was like, when does it stop feeling

787
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 1: like I'm just working in a factory? You know that

788
00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 1: scene and I love Lucy where she's like a chocolate

789
00:51:00,080 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 1: coming off of the conveyor belt. She's like, yeah, but

790
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 1: now that their their personalities are coming out. But like

791
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 1: when they start talking, because they can't say words, but

792
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 1: they have whole ass opinions. I'm like, how, how is

793
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:17,719
Speaker 1: it what you want to And Michelle's you know, she's

794
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 1: going to share this, can't wait, going to share this,

795
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 1: And she's been sharing this and again she has a

796
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:30,040
Speaker 1: book out, The Survival of the Thickest. Yeah, Mary Thickmas.

797
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 1: We're very similar in one, well, lots of ways, but

798
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,080
Speaker 1: one in particular. I didn't think that I could have children,

799
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 1: and I I resigned myself to that. I was like, Okay,

800
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:43,080
Speaker 1: I can't have kids. I'll just, you know, try to

801
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 1: date somebody with kids so I get a chance to

802
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 1: to mother. And I was at peace with that, and

803
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:54,040
Speaker 1: then surprise, surprise, I got pregnant. Michelle worked on pregnancy

804
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 1: for quite a long time, about five years of IVF.

805
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 1: That's right, uh, in tro venous fertility, intro intro vitro. Yeah,

806
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 1: in vitro fertilization. Okay, yeah, five years, five whole years.

807
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 1: And this is when I learned that health care is

808
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,840
Speaker 1: truly misogynistic and that when you're a woman it feels

809
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:21,480
Speaker 1: like you were born with a pre existing condition already

810
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:25,320
Speaker 1: because you're a female. Because God forbid that you get pregnant,

811
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,319
Speaker 1: and you don't want to. God forbid that you're of

812
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 1: a certain age and you can't get pregnant. Everything feels

813
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,600
Speaker 1: like you're being punished. And so we had to pay

814
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:35,719
Speaker 1: out of pocket. And you know, my husband's a photographer,

815
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 1: I'm a comedian. We're not rich. We're just trying to

816
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 1: use our money wisely, and so we would just drop

817
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 1: ten k here, ten k there. On hormones. You know,

818
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 1: you have to pump yourself up like a produced chicken

819
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:53,640
Speaker 1: to uh sort of make sure that your body has

820
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 1: to feel like it's pregnant before you get pregnant. And

821
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 1: you know, you think about it like, you know, you

822
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 1: get an egg every month when you get your period,

823
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:05,800
Speaker 1: and you feel bloated. One month, I think I collected

824
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:09,480
Speaker 1: eighteen eggs, So picture eighteen eggs instead of the one.

825
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:11,960
Speaker 1: It felt like I was three months pregnant but no baby,

826
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:15,399
Speaker 1: and all the emotions of all the stuff that comes

827
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 1: with being pregnant. And so because I'm Jamaican and Haitian,

828
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:22,439
Speaker 1: because my family is so big, I was like, oh, man,

829
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 1: this will be nothing, you know. And then there was

830
00:53:24,719 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 1: like that shame in the Caribbean community of what did

831
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,640
Speaker 1: you do wrong that you need this help? And basically

832
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:32,479
Speaker 1: I need the help because I have a benign brain

833
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 1: tumor um opportunitary and it's called for latinoma. It's not common,

834
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:40,800
Speaker 1: but it's not not common. Sometimes it goes away. Sometimes

835
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 1: you need surgery. Sometimes you can just take medication like

836
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:47,240
Speaker 1: me and Mantera and get annual MRI s and stuff

837
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:52,560
Speaker 1: and so yeah, all that stuff. It's like the blaming

838
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,839
Speaker 1: of it all is just the victim blaming of it

839
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:59,160
Speaker 1: all is just gross and it's exhausting, quite frankly. So

840
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 1: that was a part of it. Then actually going through

841
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,239
Speaker 1: the actual ib F part of it, going to the

842
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:08,439
Speaker 1: doctor three times a week, spreading for a SONOGRAMMA, PAP, SMIR,

843
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 1: getting your blood drawn. Like the emotional and physical toll

844
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:14,240
Speaker 1: it takes is not something that I could even explain

845
00:54:14,280 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 1: in two sentences or less. Three times a week were um,

846
00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:20,480
Speaker 1: three times a week you have to go because they

847
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 1: want to make sure you're not gonna be octomom And

848
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:27,040
Speaker 1: I think I started around UM thirty something, maybe thirty five.

849
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 1: Every time you have every time, Yes, every time time.

850
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:41,200
Speaker 1: You were already considered um what do they call? Yeah? Yes,

851
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 1: and so at three yeah, So was there anything that

852
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:53,720
Speaker 1: you were doing or that was suggested to you about

853
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,279
Speaker 1: how you could support yourself emotionally during that time? Did

854
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:58,840
Speaker 1: you go to therapy? Did you like? What were some

855
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 1: of the things that well, that's the thing, like you know,

856
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 1: old school Kerubean people are like therapy, what's that? And

857
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:12,279
Speaker 1: so No, I didn't go to therapy because I was

858
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 1: already paying out a pocket for this other treatment and

859
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 1: so I try to do like the honor system, holistic

860
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:23,320
Speaker 1: situation and stuff, but it for like raiky and acupuncture

861
00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:27,720
Speaker 1: and you know, sliding scale type situation. And if even

862
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,560
Speaker 1: felt weird not having anyone to talk to about it,

863
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:35,360
Speaker 1: because you know, my friends who had kids didn't have

864
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 1: to it happened naturally, and my other crew they don't

865
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:40,759
Speaker 1: want kids or they're not ready for it. And so

866
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:42,319
Speaker 1: I was. I felt like I was stuck in this

867
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:43,759
Speaker 1: limbo where I had no one to talk to, and

868
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:46,240
Speaker 1: I'm just like, how do I have all these amazing

869
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 1: people in my life? Yeah, I cannot talk to anybody

870
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 1: about this? How am I a truth teller? On stage,

871
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:54,320
Speaker 1: but I can't even talk about it to people because

872
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,800
Speaker 1: nobody wants to hear what's going on with a woman's

873
00:55:56,880 --> 00:56:00,080
Speaker 1: body at all, unless she's suck in a day that

874
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 1: people want to hear on the stage. So it was

875
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:05,280
Speaker 1: a wild ride, you know. I'm not going to pretend

876
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:08,400
Speaker 1: that it was easy. It was not. I think the

877
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 1: first month of doing IBF, my husband left crumbs on

878
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 1: a kitchen counter and I started to cry and I

879
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 1: told him I wanted to divorce. He was like, I

880
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 1: think this might be the hormones. I was like, oh,

881
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,799
Speaker 1: I think you're right, Like you forget because you're just

882
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 1: so used to getting up and going as a woman,

883
00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:28,759
Speaker 1: put on you know, your pretty face, because nobody wants

884
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:32,359
Speaker 1: to hear your ship. So it was. It was a

885
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:37,560
Speaker 1: full on thing. But then I started really probably three

886
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 1: years in three years, four miscarriages altogether in the five years.

887
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 1: But then I started booking stuff, movie roles, in comedy

888
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:52,399
Speaker 1: gigs because nothing was precious anymore. I'm like, I really

889
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:55,759
Speaker 1: don't care what people think. You know, if you're gonna

890
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 1: ask me my opinion, I'm gonna tell you. And I

891
00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:00,920
Speaker 1: was never really liked that before. And I was playing

892
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:03,719
Speaker 1: a pregnant person in a movie and always be my

893
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 1: maybe on Netflix. And that was a mind funk because

894
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 1: I had to put on a belly. And this was

895
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 1: at the time where I had just sort of given

896
00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 1: up and said, okay, God, you do whatever you need

897
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 1: to do. And then we decided to go down the

898
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 1: circusy route. So I'm in Vancouver with a pregnant belly

899
00:57:22,960 --> 00:57:26,000
Speaker 1: as my surrogate's sort of past, trying to pass tests

900
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:30,680
Speaker 1: and get prepared for her journey with us. And then

901
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 1: I got the audition for First Wives Club in Vancouver,

902
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:37,600
Speaker 1: and you know, I've been cheated on my first few relationships.

903
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 1: I've been cheated on. So I was like, Okay, this

904
00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:41,600
Speaker 1: is a woman who's been cheated on, and she's tired

905
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 1: and overwhelmed and she was married. I'm like, okay, these

906
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:49,680
Speaker 1: are all things I can get behind. And I did

907
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 1: all the funny things I was supposed to do, and

908
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:55,160
Speaker 1: at the end, I just stop. And a lot of

909
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:57,440
Speaker 1: my auditions ended that way, whether it was on tape

910
00:57:57,480 --> 00:58:01,520
Speaker 1: or in the bathroom. There's a lot of crying still

911
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 1: seeing some of it. Yeah, out of the clear blue sky.

912
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 1: After that very very long wedding scene that we did.

913
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:14,880
Speaker 1: Your was very close to giving birth, and we are

914
00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:19,440
Speaker 1: in upstate New York shooting in frigid weather and the

915
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:24,000
Speaker 1: June wedding in November, and you had a moment. I

916
00:58:24,080 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 1: had a moment. She sent me a picture of her

917
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 1: belly and it was the first time I saw her

918
00:58:27,640 --> 00:58:31,120
Speaker 1: belly pop. And that was the moment where I was like, Oh,

919
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:34,680
Speaker 1: my goodness, there are really here. It's not just an

920
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:37,200
Speaker 1: idea or a doctor's appointment or a piece of paper.

921
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:40,280
Speaker 1: And so I just sobbed and I really could have

922
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:43,439
Speaker 1: just fell to my knees, but you and Ryan held

923
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 1: me up and prayed over me in such a way that, um,

924
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:54,480
Speaker 1: You're amazing. I didn't know what needed You're amazing. Your

925
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:58,880
Speaker 1: level of love and tenacity is just out of controls is.

926
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you and your husband. I'm so

927
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:07,400
Speaker 1: happy that you have these beautiful babies and you went

928
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 1: so much, so so very much. And that's the thing

929
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 1: that is the thing with us being women. There's all kinds.

930
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:20,680
Speaker 1: There's a universe inside of us, and some planets are clashing,

931
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:26,920
Speaker 1: and you still have to maintain the one that you're on. Yeah,

932
00:59:26,960 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 1: and that is the power of women. I'm so proud

933
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 1: of you. I'm so happy for you, every blessing, every

934
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:38,800
Speaker 1: possible joy. And the babies are beautiful. She's got a

935
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 1: boy and a girl. Yes, come on, fraternal. I was

936
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:51,240
Speaker 1: not great. I need content too because I did well.

937
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 1: Though the girls will tell you I will cry ball

938
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 1: cry at the drop of a dime. So I did

939
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,919
Speaker 1: very well just in this moment. But I'm so proud

940
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 1: of you. I don't even you know, we just met.

941
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 1: But that's amazing. I mean I have to really co

942
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:10,600
Speaker 1: sign you in that. That's that's that's amazing. And your

943
01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:13,480
Speaker 1: children will always know that they were meant to be

944
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:15,960
Speaker 1: here and what was done and how much work it

945
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:19,280
Speaker 1: emotional and physical work went into getting them into the world.

946
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:23,160
Speaker 1: So I may not see you, what talk to you?

947
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 1: Maybe I may not see you what talk to you again?

948
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 1: But girl, let me give you a happy Month's day

949
01:00:27,160 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 1: from here until eternity somebody cut your hands. Yes, yes, indeedy,

950
01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:39,000
Speaker 1: I love it. We do so much. We do so

951
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 1: much m hm. And she's still is funny as fun

952
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:47,360
Speaker 1: on a daily basis with the camera on or off,

953
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:54,880
Speaker 1: like yeah, okay, yeah, I'm fine, I'm just I was

954
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: already The interesting part about it all is that we

955
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:03,560
Speaker 1: all end up. If you've got four women on this

956
01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:10,240
Speaker 1: line right now, one could not have children and believed it,

957
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:15,840
Speaker 1: and surprisingly enough, God gave me a baby. I didn't

958
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:21,920
Speaker 1: expect it, did not see it coming. Gave up. Asia married,

959
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:29,200
Speaker 1: had six children, including twins. Michelle and her wonderful husband.

960
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:34,640
Speaker 1: They struggle for it and worked for it. And li

961
01:01:34,880 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 1: Yah is a young woman and you are young that

962
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 1: the doctor say, and I'm gonna tell y'all, it's just

963
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,880
Speaker 1: it's you know, everybody, like Michelle said, everybody has a

964
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 1: story and we all relate. And you know, Michelle, I

965
01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:52,600
Speaker 1: remember when your book came out and I watched your

966
01:01:52,640 --> 01:01:56,360
Speaker 1: Fresh Jump kids, and of course, like as a woman

967
01:01:56,400 --> 01:01:59,360
Speaker 1: of a certain age, you know, I always want to

968
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:01,520
Speaker 1: have a family. That was for me. That's when I

969
01:02:01,600 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 1: knew what I was gonna be, truly to meet said

970
01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 1: the world successful ment meant that for me and some

971
01:02:09,240 --> 01:02:11,960
Speaker 1: women in just different stories, you know. So it's also

972
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:14,400
Speaker 1: this tribe of women and I had, it's just tribe

973
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: goes larger and larger of them a single women of

974
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:19,919
Speaker 1: a certain age who it just didn't have the opportunity,

975
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:23,240
Speaker 1: whether it be a physical thing. Five boys or other things,

976
01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:26,160
Speaker 1: you know, five roids, or also just the idea that

977
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:29,760
Speaker 1: you wanted a family, but you realize that somebody gotta

978
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 1: ask you, like if you want a husband, man gotta

979
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 1: ask you for that, you know. It's uh, it's interesting.

980
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:38,680
Speaker 1: I would have never thought at this age that I

981
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:40,240
Speaker 1: would not have had a man to say to me

982
01:02:40,440 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 1: that start a family. That's not to say that I

983
01:02:42,640 --> 01:02:45,040
Speaker 1: haven't been pregnant. I've been pregnant before. I was pregnant

984
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:47,400
Speaker 1: twice in my teenage years, once when I was thirty

985
01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:48,800
Speaker 1: with a man that I knew it was not gonna

986
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 1: be that person. So it's just interesting because here I

987
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:56,480
Speaker 1: am with this age and I contemplate, you know, as

988
01:02:56,520 --> 01:02:58,760
Speaker 1: we're going through COVID and stuff like you know, I

989
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:00,760
Speaker 1: have moments of like, yeah, I'm I'm glad I don't

990
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:02,600
Speaker 1: have to be a teacher right now, because man, I

991
01:03:02,600 --> 01:03:05,080
Speaker 1: see all my friends, you know, struggling with keeping their

992
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:07,760
Speaker 1: kids and stuff. But there are also moments of life,

993
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,960
Speaker 1: this is it gonna happen? Do I want? I always

994
01:03:11,960 --> 01:03:13,600
Speaker 1: wanted to use my body for the things that I

995
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:15,920
Speaker 1: thought that I was made to use it for and

996
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:18,080
Speaker 1: not to say, and even when it comes to syracacy,

997
01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:20,920
Speaker 1: even being open to that, but again wanting to have

998
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 1: a family. You know, I think it's a blessing that

999
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 1: you have a husband that went through that ride with you,

1000
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:29,440
Speaker 1: and so, you know, a lot of us women are

1001
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 1: getting to a point where either you have men in

1002
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:33,960
Speaker 1: your life they already have kids, or maybe they just

1003
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:36,080
Speaker 1: they like the life that you can live as you know,

1004
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 1: being single people. So it's just it's interesting. And I'm

1005
01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:41,560
Speaker 1: sorry because I told I sent to Michelle at a

1006
01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 1: John's PM Medicine, so I already knew this conversation was

1007
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:47,160
Speaker 1: gonna be emotional because I know your story, so I apologize,

1008
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:50,480
Speaker 1: and it's your story, and dude, don't ever apologize for

1009
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 1: taking up the space that you earned. This is painful

1010
01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:56,600
Speaker 1: as fun. And if it's like, if we can't talk

1011
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 1: to each other, then who are we gonna talk to?

1012
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:01,240
Speaker 1: Nobody said it would be this art. You see people

1013
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:04,240
Speaker 1: who you know meet the I just I just didn't know.

1014
01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:09,120
Speaker 1: It's so crazy. I mean, I think one of the

1015
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 1: hurdles I had to overcome without even knowing was not

1016
01:04:12,880 --> 01:04:16,760
Speaker 1: blaming myself because I've had a couple of abortions too,

1017
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:20,520
Speaker 1: and I'm like, is this God punishing me, and I

1018
01:04:20,600 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 1: really had a prey on that and let that go. Yeah,

1019
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:28,280
Speaker 1: that was really hard, and that was something I couldn't

1020
01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:31,760
Speaker 1: even say out loud two people. I never even thought it.

1021
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:33,919
Speaker 1: It's funny because for the longest time throughout my life

1022
01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:36,720
Speaker 1: I always thought, you know, especially when it happened in

1023
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:39,280
Speaker 1: being a teenager, I was like, well, that was not

1024
01:04:39,440 --> 01:04:41,920
Speaker 1: your life, like it was destined to be other things.

1025
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:45,240
Speaker 1: But I will say from going never having that thought

1026
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 1: to now at this stage, I do have those thoughts

1027
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,560
Speaker 1: of like, well, ship was that my chance and I

1028
01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 1: just didn't then I wouldn't. I wouldn't be I wouldn't

1029
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:56,040
Speaker 1: be sitting here, you know. I just I wouldn't know, y'all.

1030
01:04:56,240 --> 01:05:01,120
Speaker 1: Yeah I can't, but I would have to say that

1031
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:04,000
Speaker 1: that that guilt is a whole lot. I had an

1032
01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:07,560
Speaker 1: abortion to and I thought the same thing. I didn't

1033
01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:09,400
Speaker 1: think I would ever have kids, and I was very

1034
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:11,800
Speaker 1: deep in the church at that time, so at that

1035
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:14,600
Speaker 1: time I was thinking, oh, well, God's gonna punish me.

1036
01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:16,880
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna have Anoh I'm not gonna have a baby.

1037
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:18,880
Speaker 1: So if you ever think that again, know that that's

1038
01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:22,080
Speaker 1: a lot, because I'm proof to that's a lot, right,

1039
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:27,400
Speaker 1: So I apologize. I really was gonna. No, I don't agize.

1040
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:32,520
Speaker 1: Don't apologize, Yeah, don't apologize. You know, you could always

1041
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:34,320
Speaker 1: call me and talk to me if you have any

1042
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 1: questions about I v F for I U I, or

1043
01:05:37,480 --> 01:05:41,120
Speaker 1: even adoption, because we tried to fully adopt for about

1044
01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:45,760
Speaker 1: three years and that that wasn't even we tried to

1045
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:49,960
Speaker 1: adopt from third world countries and that was really hard

1046
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:53,600
Speaker 1: and expensive, just the application process, and then it always

1047
01:05:53,640 --> 01:05:57,400
Speaker 1: came down to which they don't tell you, Oh, if

1048
01:05:57,400 --> 01:05:59,360
Speaker 1: you're still trying to have your own baby, then you

1049
01:05:59,400 --> 01:06:02,440
Speaker 1: can't adopt here. And it's like how many times can

1050
01:06:02,480 --> 01:06:06,240
Speaker 1: we be rejected? So what I'm saying to you is,

1051
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:12,360
Speaker 1: once you feel comfortable to talk about options and you

1052
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:18,640
Speaker 1: know realistically, like emotionally, what you can handle, we're not handle,

1053
01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:21,040
Speaker 1: I'm here to talk about it with you if you'd

1054
01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:25,960
Speaker 1: like to thank you. Shoot, I remember I think I

1055
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:27,720
Speaker 1: told you girls before I had a doctor tell me.

1056
01:06:27,840 --> 01:06:28,920
Speaker 1: I was he was like, you know, you can do

1057
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:35,480
Speaker 1: this by yourself, and I was like, I'm gonna I'm

1058
01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:37,920
Speaker 1: gonna tell you this right now. Even if you have

1059
01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 1: a man, you're still doing it by yourself, right. I

1060
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:44,360
Speaker 1: know that too, So that's why you're really really yeah,

1061
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:53,880
Speaker 1: that part so aged. Okay, right, these decisions looking at

1062
01:06:53,920 --> 01:07:01,160
Speaker 1: faces right now? Yes, and I know my girls. Thank you, Michelle. Yeah,

1063
01:07:01,640 --> 01:07:09,280
Speaker 1: I got you. I love you. I love you you guys,

1064
01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:12,400
Speaker 1: I love you, I'd love you, ladies. Thank you so

1065
01:07:12,480 --> 01:07:17,040
Speaker 1: much for sharing, Michelle, Thank you so much for opening

1066
01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:20,600
Speaker 1: this door, because these are you know, we look at

1067
01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:22,919
Speaker 1: this kind of stuff. We look at it like other

1068
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:26,320
Speaker 1: people's problems, you know, we look at it like hitch

1069
01:07:26,360 --> 01:07:29,760
Speaker 1: white lady problems. You know, if we don't we have

1070
01:07:29,880 --> 01:07:33,840
Speaker 1: this idea that black women are automatically fertile. We bidding

1071
01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:36,360
Speaker 1: to the lie. And you know, and you know what

1072
01:07:36,440 --> 01:07:38,960
Speaker 1: that is, right, and why we think black women are

1073
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:45,720
Speaker 1: always fertile, go on and say it white. It's a

1074
01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:49,920
Speaker 1: leftover life from the slay tramp. Yeah, that's what that

1075
01:07:50,040 --> 01:07:52,440
Speaker 1: mess is. I just felt like I need to remind

1076
01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:57,880
Speaker 1: us all where the bullshit coming from? My bad you're

1077
01:07:57,880 --> 01:08:01,320
Speaker 1: going right a here, h That's that's enough for me.

1078
01:08:02,560 --> 01:08:05,120
Speaker 1: That's enough for me. If you are going through it,

1079
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:08,720
Speaker 1: you know, going through this infertility moment, if you're if

1080
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:10,840
Speaker 1: you're a woman that has a lot of children. You

1081
01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:15,400
Speaker 1: can't stop being fertile. Whatever that it is, know that

1082
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:23,519
Speaker 1: it in effects at all effects. We are not pieces

1083
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:30,080
Speaker 1: of stone. We are human beings and our life experiences matter,

1084
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:37,799
Speaker 1: and our ovaries a fucking matter. Our connection with the universe,

1085
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:41,080
Speaker 1: it all matters. And to think anything else, I know

1086
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:44,160
Speaker 1: that sounds like oh some poetry ship. It's not. We

1087
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:47,600
Speaker 1: are more connected than we think. And I really appreciate

1088
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:52,680
Speaker 1: you calling and talking to us today. Shallot, thank you,

1089
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:56,800
Speaker 1: Ellis Sheriff fucking hera. This was fun, but it was

1090
01:08:56,840 --> 01:09:00,519
Speaker 1: also needed and I didn't even know because and seeing

1091
01:09:00,520 --> 01:09:02,800
Speaker 1: people now, you can't really connect because we all have

1092
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:05,640
Speaker 1: a mask on and then we have a mask on

1093
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:20,639
Speaker 1: top of that. M So this is the real How

1094
01:09:20,760 --> 01:09:31,439
Speaker 1: do you eat an elephant? One by it? TI? What's

1095
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:34,519
Speaker 1: up everyone? I'm Eves, the producer on the show. So

1096
01:09:34,720 --> 01:09:38,360
Speaker 1: April eleventh to the seventeen is Black Maternal Health Week

1097
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:41,120
Speaker 1: in the US. But know that no matter when you're

1098
01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:44,080
Speaker 1: listening to this, the health of black women is something

1099
01:09:44,120 --> 01:09:48,479
Speaker 1: that we should be discussing, supporting, and nurturing. Go to

1100
01:09:48,600 --> 01:09:52,000
Speaker 1: Black Mama's Matter dot org to learn more about Black

1101
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:56,000
Speaker 1: Maternal Health Week and to find resources about healthcare for

1102
01:09:56,080 --> 01:10:00,400
Speaker 1: Black women and girls. There are many other organizations welfare

1103
01:10:00,520 --> 01:10:04,360
Speaker 1: that advocate for healthcare for women and girls and that

1104
01:10:04,400 --> 01:10:08,920
Speaker 1: help people navigate issues related to reproductive health and fertility.

1105
01:10:09,120 --> 01:10:13,759
Speaker 1: Those organizations include the Sister Girl Foundation, The Broken Brown Egg,

1106
01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:18,120
Speaker 1: the Black Women's Health Imperative, and Sister Song. You can

1107
01:10:18,160 --> 01:10:21,320
Speaker 1: also find a Black doula or learn more about becoming

1108
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:25,479
Speaker 1: a doula through the National Black Dula's Association at Black

1109
01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:30,160
Speaker 1: doulas dot org. Oh and Jill recommends the Burton Wellness

1110
01:10:30,160 --> 01:10:34,400
Speaker 1: Injury Center if you're in Philadelphia, and buy Michelle Betel's

1111
01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:38,280
Speaker 1: book Survival of the Thickest. As always, I'll drop links

1112
01:10:38,320 --> 01:10:47,759
Speaker 1: in the episode description. This important conversation around black maternal

1113
01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:50,639
Speaker 1: health deserves more airtime, so join us in our media

1114
01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:53,519
Speaker 1: partner Levity for a free live virtual after show on

1115
01:10:53,640 --> 01:10:57,400
Speaker 1: Saturday April. Visit at jails goot pod on Twitter and

1116
01:10:57,640 --> 01:11:01,640
Speaker 1: at jail scot Podcasts on Instagram and Facebook for registration

1117
01:11:01,720 --> 01:11:05,320
Speaker 1: details and tag us with your questions and comments. If

1118
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:08,200
Speaker 1: you have comments on something we said in this episode,

1119
01:11:08,560 --> 01:11:12,080
Speaker 1: call eight six six Hey Jill if you want to

1120
01:11:12,080 --> 01:11:16,080
Speaker 1: add to this conversation. That's eight six six nine five

1121
01:11:16,200 --> 01:11:19,160
Speaker 1: four five five, don't forget to tell us your name

1122
01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:22,720
Speaker 1: and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear

1123
01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:48,799
Speaker 1: your message on a future episode. This podcast is hosted

1124
01:11:48,840 --> 01:11:52,639
Speaker 1: by Jill Scott, Layah st Clair, and Agr Graden Danceller.

1125
01:11:53,120 --> 01:11:57,040
Speaker 1: It's executive producers are Jill Scott, Shawn Jy, and Brian Calhoun.

1126
01:11:57,439 --> 01:12:01,160
Speaker 1: It's produced by Layas st Clair and Eve Jeff Coke.

1127
01:12:01,439 --> 01:12:04,000
Speaker 1: The editing and sound design for this episode we're done

1128
01:12:04,120 --> 01:12:15,639
Speaker 1: by Christina Loranger Yea C. Mars. Honestly, that's another thing.

1129
01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:18,360
Speaker 1: It's like I don't have time for smoothie. I just

1130
01:12:18,439 --> 01:12:22,080
Speaker 1: take my little spoon, dip it in that joker and

1131
01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:26,639
Speaker 1: take it down, like because I just have a hot

1132
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:29,320
Speaker 1: threshold for nasty stuff. I just get it over, say

1133
01:12:29,320 --> 01:12:31,400
Speaker 1: it again. Boom. Now that I'm proud I have a

1134
01:12:31,479 --> 01:12:39,120
Speaker 1: hot threshold for nasty stuff. You know, I had to

1135
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:44,200
Speaker 1: get close to the night like j dot. Ill is

1136
01:12:44,240 --> 01:12:48,479
Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from

1137
01:12:48,479 --> 01:12:53,120
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,

1138
01:12:53,479 --> 01:12:56,080
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.