Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Beck of Tilly and Tanya rad and
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in grub.
Speaker 3: Dub Dub and the Tings a tub tub.
Speaker 4: Did you read the comments about the jingle your jingle?
Speaker 3: No, don't tell me. It's not bad. People hate it.
Speaker 4: There's mixed reviews.
Speaker 2: They posted a poll about it and.
Speaker 1: It was like fifty to fifty people loved it or
Speaker 1: hated it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they told me to break the news to you gently.
Speaker 2: But then some people are like, oh my god, I
Speaker 2: sing along every time, so it's really you know, And
Speaker 2: I told you, I said.
Speaker 4: The tots are going to be like I love it
Speaker 4: and some might not. And then a lot of people
Speaker 4: are like, I'm mostly indifferent about it.
Speaker 3: The till heads are over here, slammer.
Speaker 4: I do not consent on tillheads, but here we are
Speaker 4: but the doctor for themselves as the tongue of talk.
Speaker 4: They love it.
Speaker 1: Well, the till heads are gonna take this uprunt of it.
Speaker 2: Now. Love our guests today, anyways, they're y'all are all
Speaker 2: gonna love our guest today.
Speaker 4: You know her as Tinks.
Speaker 2: She is a New York Times best selling author and
Speaker 2: podcast and radio host.
Speaker 1: She has a new debut fiction novel. It's called Hotter
Speaker 1: in the Hampton's. It's coming out May six, so everybody
Speaker 1: pre order it now.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: She really has just developed, Like I feel like she
Speaker 2: is the millennial girls BFF.
Speaker 4: Yeah kind of.
Speaker 2: We're a big sister or big sister, however you want
Speaker 2: to think it.
Speaker 4: She's here today, so everyone, welcome.
Speaker 3: To Thanks for having you guys.
Speaker 2: We're so excited because we've been trying to do this
Speaker 2: for a long time now.
Speaker 3: I know, I'm so excited to finally be here and
Speaker 3: have a good yap.
Speaker 1: I was trying to figure out literally just this morning,
Speaker 1: what flight I was taking, Where were we going?
Speaker 3: Were we on the same flight? No, we were just
Speaker 3: saw each other in the JSX, yes.
Speaker 1: And so what I thought was, I think it was
Speaker 1: when we were going to Tahoe for Amy's birthday, so
Speaker 1: last summer. I wasn't with you, I know, I know,
Speaker 1: I know, but I think that's the flight that we
Speaker 1: were taking.
Speaker 3: And I think I saw you that that then I
Speaker 3: was I don't know where I was going there. I
Speaker 3: loved jet sweet Eyes. Yeah, so do we so good.
Speaker 1: But we were We had this like big debate on
Speaker 1: podcast because I love to like I obviously like I
Speaker 1: feel like and I feel like you probably get this
Speaker 1: all the time. People feel like they know you. It's
Speaker 1: like a parasocial relationship. Yeah, And so I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: my gosh, I have to say hi to her. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you had your headphones on.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: And they always tell me that's the universal sign of like,
Speaker 1: don't talk to it, don't talk to me.
Speaker 3: No, I always have my headphones in, like I literally
Speaker 3: can't be with the sound of my own thoughts. And actually,
Speaker 3: when my followers asked me yesterday, they were like, how
Speaker 3: do you listen to so many podcasts and like listen
Speaker 3: to so many books and consume so much media? And
Speaker 3: I was like, I literally can't be alone. And so
Speaker 3: the second I wake up, I have music or podcasts on,
Speaker 3: like I'm talking the second I would up to the
Speaker 3: second I go to sleep, So I always have something
Speaker 3: in So I don't for me, it's not a universal symbol.
Speaker 3: It's just like I'm.
Speaker 2: Breathing, so I need again, Like if you're on an airplane, like,
Speaker 2: for instance, I'm on an airplane and I'm by myself.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I put my AirPods in. Yeah, that's my
Speaker 4: sign of like, I am, you're in your zone, please
Speaker 4: don't talk to me. Yeah, so Tanya does not. She'll
Speaker 4: tap me.
Speaker 2: If she's with me and I put my headphones in,
Speaker 2: she'll tap me until I.
Speaker 3: Okay, So now I see what you're saying. And I
Speaker 3: think if you're with someone and you put your headphones in,
Speaker 3: you're like, I need a man. If you're like traveling
Speaker 3: with your friend and you're like a girl, like, I
Speaker 3: get a second, that's really funny. But yeah, no, I
Speaker 3: love when people come up to me. Like people are
Speaker 3: always like I feel like I know you, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: I am overly casual back because I also feel like
Speaker 3: I know them. I'm like, oh my god, hey do
Speaker 3: you have a tampon?
Speaker 4: Like what's up on?
Speaker 3: They're like wait what, I feel like I know all
Speaker 3: the girl is back, So it's like good both ways.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like it was very funny because I was
Speaker 1: like I met Tings and she had her headphones, and
Speaker 1: then I felt really bad that I was like bothering
Speaker 1: her and it was like a whole debate.
Speaker 4: She told us.
Speaker 2: She was like yeah, and then I went up and
Speaker 2: I said hey, and we all were like.
Speaker 4: No, oh my god.
Speaker 3: I'm like literally always so on my own planet. I
Speaker 3: love meeting everybody.
Speaker 1: So but you know what's so funny is we have
Speaker 1: a mutual friend Candice.
Speaker 4: Yes, our facialist.
Speaker 3: I love her. It's her birthday tomorrow. It's her birthday.
Speaker 3: To wait, I think it's in May. I always get
Speaker 3: it or I always get it two weeks wrong because
Speaker 3: I had it initially on my calendar and then it
Speaker 3: was her dog's birthday, and now it's like a joke
Speaker 3: every year, and like I always wish her birthday her
Speaker 3: dog's birthday was like over the weekend. Yeah, so then
Speaker 3: it was okay, so that's what I was. Yeah, I know,
Speaker 3: he birthdays in We're still in April, right, a Torus queen.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, But.
Speaker 1: So I feel like I like I'm again I sound
Speaker 1: like such a creep, but I'm like, I feel like
Speaker 1: we're like one step remove.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, yeah we are all the time. Yeah
Speaker 3: yeah you are.
Speaker 4: You're just like meant to be so not ago just
Speaker 4: barely missing me. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, I do.
Speaker 2: Wonder is is it because when you started, was TikTok
Speaker 2: your main thing?
Speaker 4: When you started social media?
Speaker 3: Yes, I started in twenty twenty. Okay, I had no plan.
Speaker 3: I was literally I thought we were all going to die.
Speaker 3: And I was like, I don't care what people think.
Speaker 3: I'm going to make videos for fun. Like I people
Speaker 3: think I'm joking, but I literally thought we were all
Speaker 3: going to die. So I was like, well, I might
Speaker 3: as well make some videos and like full around until
Speaker 3: the end and then that's yeah, that was my main thing.
Speaker 4: When did so when what was your first I guess
Speaker 4: did you have a.
Speaker 2: Video where it went viral and you were like, oh,
Speaker 2: this could be something.
Speaker 3: My first video that went viral is so dumb that like,
Speaker 3: if you pull it up, you'll actually laugh. It was
Speaker 3: like me doing in like a It was a sound.
Speaker 3: It was a TikTok sound, and I was like, this
Speaker 3: is what dating in LA is like. It was like
Speaker 3: the dumbest thing ever. But it went viral and I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, like validation from Sandris feels kind of good.
Speaker 3: And then I just kept going and then my friends
Speaker 3: were like, I think you could like make money from
Speaker 3: this and I was like what and they were like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you can like make money from this if you keep going,
Speaker 3: and all the like all of my jobs had let
Speaker 3: me go because of the pandemic, and I was like
Speaker 3: doing consulting and like working for doing this and that
Speaker 3: kind of thing, like nothing steady, and so I was like,
Speaker 3: oh damn, Like okay, I'll keep going. And then I
Speaker 3: got my first brand deal. They were like, we'll pay
Speaker 3: you six hundred dollars if you wear those pants in
Speaker 3: your video. And I was like, shut off, you're kidding
Speaker 3: doing to keep the pants and they're like, yeah, freak
Speaker 3: and yeah. I started in May of twenty twenty and
Speaker 3: I think by like August of twenty twenty, I had
Speaker 3: a manager. So it went really fast. WHOA, it was
Speaker 3: a different time. It was, yeah, it was a different time.
Speaker 3: Everyone was on their phones. TikTok was in its infancy.
Speaker 3: In my opinion, it was the best era. It was
Speaker 3: like the era one that was like Charlie and Addison
Speaker 3: and the you know, the hype house, and it just
Speaker 3: felt so fresh. The content felt so funny. I don't
Speaker 3: know if you guys remember, but like I could spend
Speaker 3: eight hours on TikTok and I was laughing my ass
Speaker 3: off the whole time. Now I go on and I'm like,
Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm gonna get like it's I
Speaker 3: don't know, like it's scary now, but yeah, it was
Speaker 3: the best time.
Speaker 2: Is that weird because how y'all were talking about You
Speaker 2: were saying it's like a parasocial relationship, and you're saying
Speaker 2: you're just as equally casual back. But is it when
Speaker 2: you're posting something vulnerable or people are negative, do you
Speaker 2: Is it kind of like a two double edged sword
Speaker 2: in that way, yeah, because it hurts.
Speaker 3: Your feelings and you're like, oh, I was so honest
Speaker 3: with you guys, and then like you like, now it
Speaker 3: feels now I feel stupid that I was honest with you.
Speaker 3: And I have pulled back a lot, Like back in
Speaker 3: the day, I would tell everything. I'd be on live crying,
Speaker 3: like when I got cheated on. I did the famous
Speaker 3: crying video, so embarrassing, like when I look back at it,
Speaker 3: but it was like where I was in my life. Yeah,
Speaker 3: But now I'm like, I don't know, I'm just not
Speaker 3: in that era anymore. And maybe it's because I've been
Speaker 3: on the internet for five years and I have been
Speaker 3: burned by being vulnerable and I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 3: there's parts of my life I just don't want to
Speaker 3: s anymore, and so I've kind of found a happy medium.
Speaker 1: So is that how you started, like writing now this
Speaker 1: book Hotter in the Hampton's No.
Speaker 3: I loved writing my first book so much. It was
Speaker 3: so fantastic. It was nonfiction. It was something I really
Speaker 3: felt like, I wanted to put all my thoughts in
Speaker 3: one place for my community about knowing your worth and
Speaker 3: how important self esteem is for everybody, but especially young women.
Speaker 3: And then when I was thinking about what I wanted
Speaker 3: to do next, I wanted to do something that was
Speaker 3: like creative and like escapism and fun. And I used
Speaker 3: to do these rich Mom videos where I would like
Speaker 3: do rich Mom Starter Pack like Malibu Rich Mom Starter
Speaker 3: Pack West Hollywood or whatever, and people love them. And
Speaker 3: then I was like, what if I did that but
Speaker 3: like into a book, like a whole story. And I
Speaker 3: was also really inspired by my community. They read a
Speaker 3: lot of romance novels. So I started reading a lot
Speaker 3: of romance novels and I was like, these are great.
Speaker 3: I love them, but I have like a different fantasy
Speaker 3: than I want to see in my mind, like in
Speaker 3: terms of the main character, in terms of the settings.
Speaker 3: So it was a lot of different things that inspired
Speaker 3: me to do this.
Speaker 1: I'm like so fascinated because I wrote a book a
Speaker 1: few years ago and it took me so much time
Speaker 1: and effort and energy. So I'm like, I like to
Speaker 1: get really like into the nitty gritty of this. When
Speaker 1: did you start writing this book? Or like when when
Speaker 1: did the idea start?
Speaker 3: Like what year I had actually written the proposal for
Speaker 3: another nonfiction book, and I was excited about it, like
Speaker 3: I had this other idea which I still hope to
Speaker 3: do at some point. And then I guess it was
Speaker 3: like last year. No, like like a year and a
Speaker 3: half ago. I was like, I actually have this different idea,
Speaker 3: and I called my agents and I was like, I
Speaker 3: want to write a series of romance novels that where
Speaker 3: the girl is really cool. In all of them, she's
Speaker 3: like flawed and she's like a real person, because we're
Speaker 3: all flawed and messy, and like each book is going
Speaker 3: to take place in a different rich mom location, like
Speaker 3: White Lotus, and they're all going to explore a different
Speaker 3: sexual fantasy. And my agent was like, yeah go. She
Speaker 3: was like that's really I love it. Both of my agents,
Speaker 3: I love them both shout out Margaret and like that.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it was just like, oh, year and a
Speaker 3: half's like not that crazy. Yeah, No, I don't think
Speaker 3: that's that crazy. No.
Speaker 1: I was expecting you to say, like this was three
Speaker 1: years ago and.
Speaker 3: No, because like I kind of after my first book,
Speaker 3: I took a little mental break and then I was like, whoa,
Speaker 3: I need to like do something again, like I need
Speaker 3: to do something meteor again, and I kind of like
Speaker 3: needed to reorganize my life. And yeah, I have.
Speaker 2: A question because the book without I just have seen
Speaker 2: a few videos about it has a queer storyline. Yes,
Speaker 2: well yeah, yeah, yeah, and you collaborated with a queer
Speaker 2: author to write Why was that important? Because I asked
Speaker 2: someone who's in the community, and I have a girlfriend,
Speaker 2: she's my first girlfriend, so like, my experience is limited
Speaker 2: because I only have been with one woman, but we've been.
Speaker 4: Together for seven years.
Speaker 2: Totally like writing this, I imagine it was important for you
Speaker 2: to have that voice.
Speaker 3: One hundred percent. It's I wanted to have that lived
Speaker 3: experience and I'm not queer, so that was just so
Speaker 3: key for me to have someone who has lived that
Speaker 3: because I wanted to nail that part. And she's also
Speaker 3: an incredibly talented writer, so it was amazing to learn
Speaker 3: from her as well. So it was it was a
Speaker 3: It was a great experience.
Speaker 2: And it's already being turned into a series. Correct, Yes, Yeah,
Speaker 2: how does it happen?
Speaker 3: That's huge? I honestly can't believe it. It was like
Speaker 3: always such a dream. And when we announced the book,
Speaker 3: it you know, we sent it around to a couple people,
Speaker 3: and when I heard they were interested, I was like,
Speaker 3: no way, Like I I love them. They're so talented,
Speaker 3: they're so smart, and obviously their show was like the
Speaker 3: biggest hit of last year. So I'm just so thrilled
Speaker 3: and be happier.
Speaker 2: I mean, I really can't think of a more exciting
Speaker 2: duo to take on, Like if I were writing a book,
Speaker 2: I can't think of two people i'd want to create
Speaker 2: a series for me right now than them.
Speaker 3: They just get it. They just like gennerally get it.
Speaker 2: So and I feel like you'll kind of have the
Speaker 2: same tone, Like your tone and how you yeah speak
Speaker 2: and deliver storytelling is very similar.
Speaker 4: In how y'all podcast?
Speaker 2: I guess I was listening to your podcast and talking
Speaker 2: about it was your Coachella recap, and I feel like
Speaker 2: it's very similar to the Foster Sisters.
Speaker 3: That's highest compliment, Thank you.
Speaker 4: I love that well.
Speaker 2: I think it's just being honest and real, and I
Speaker 2: think I keep it real, yeah, and funny, Like I
Speaker 2: think that's what it is. Which I loved that episode
Speaker 2: because I find myself scrolling on I didn't go to Coachell,
Speaker 2: like I'm at the point now where I think about
Speaker 2: how bad my feet are going to hurt.
Speaker 3: And how.
Speaker 4: Tired I'm going to be, and so that just I'm like,
Speaker 4: I can't do it.
Speaker 2: But I was loving how you talked about how you
Speaker 2: feel like at your peak right now?
Speaker 4: Right, Yes, I really do. That's been a focus of.
Speaker 2: What you've been talking about, Like you've been taking care
Speaker 2: of yourself physically, mentally, and I feel like you're in
Speaker 2: like the best place in terms of how you feel
Speaker 2: about yourself. And you were saying how you were looking
Speaker 2: at all these girls at Coachella and they're like in
Speaker 2: their twenties and you're thinking, gosh, what would I have
Speaker 2: been like.
Speaker 4: If I peaked at that age?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I thought it was such an interesting conversation
Speaker 2: because there I don't know if you felt this way.
Speaker 2: I saw a video where you were talking about how
Speaker 2: you're gonna lean into being a millennial, like you're not
Speaker 2: going to try to be gen Z anymore, and you
Speaker 2: Donia and I have had this battle because I went
Speaker 2: through this space where I was like, I feel like
Speaker 2: I need to be younger, Like the gen Z is.
Speaker 3: Wearing these pants.
Speaker 1: I got to get these pants, and they're doing this
Speaker 1: and they're doing this trend.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't care what gen Z is doing.
Speaker 3: I'm not gen Z. I honestly think it's because of COVID.
Speaker 3: Like I think us millennials like we got kind of
Speaker 3: stuck in COVID, and so we thought that, Like I
Speaker 3: read one article that said you get stuck at the
Speaker 3: age where you entered COVID, so I would be like
Speaker 3: twenty nine thirty. So I still like think that I'm
Speaker 3: that age in we really Yeah, that's like called the
Speaker 3: like the I don't know, the pandemic skip or something.
Speaker 3: So I's interesting. And also just because like I was
Speaker 3: on TikTok at that time that I was all of
Speaker 3: my colleagues so to speak, we're like twenty or like
Speaker 3: eighteen or whatever, and so I literally for a while
Speaker 3: was stuck in that mindset, and then recently I've just
Speaker 3: been like I'm obsessed with millennials, Like I love us,
Speaker 3: Like I think we're so fabulous, we have the best attitudes.
Speaker 3: We've created so much goodness in the world, like so
Speaker 3: many companies, so many cool changes have been made, and
Speaker 3: we really like stand on business. Like if millennials say
Speaker 3: we're going to do something, we do like gen Z,
Speaker 3: but we don't have to get in. So yeah, it's
Speaker 3: now I'm like, live, laugh, loving my wife through life.
Speaker 3: I am a millennial and proud and it's just like,
Speaker 3: yeah to your point before I was talking about being
Speaker 3: like a little bit of a late bloomer, and you know,
Speaker 3: in a way, I'm happy about it because it kind
Speaker 3: of like makes your personality develop more and you kind
Speaker 3: of know know who you are, and then if you
Speaker 3: feel like you get hot later, you can just enjoy
Speaker 3: it and just do what you want with the people
Speaker 3: that you want, because so much of your twenties is
Speaker 3: hanging around with people that you don't actually like. Beer like,
Speaker 3: but I feel like you should be friends with this person.
Speaker 3: I feel like I should be dating this person's.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do it. I was listening to Mel Robbins was
Speaker 2: going through the decades of like which did you listen
Speaker 2: to that where she's talking about what happened in your
Speaker 2: twenties and thirties. Yeah, about feeling behind in life, which
Speaker 2: is kind of on the same topic of late bloomers.
Speaker 4: But did you ever feel because you're are you single?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Okay, So I feel like there's this societal expectation of
Speaker 2: like you should be doing this, this and this by
Speaker 2: this age, and then this this and this by this age.
Speaker 2: And I feel like with social media and this shift
Speaker 2: that there's been, it's totally a different landscape. Now. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: how do you how do you feel navigating that and
Speaker 2: being kind of like because I felt like you got
Speaker 2: branded as like millennials bestie girl, like.
Speaker 3: I know, and you know, I've never called myself that,
Speaker 3: Like I like, I'm always worried that people think that
Speaker 3: I go around being like Millennial's big.
Speaker 4: Sister, like.
Speaker 3: But whatever, No, I I think it is a different landscape.
Speaker 3: I mean, I talk to so many women on my
Speaker 3: radio show and through social media every week, and like
Speaker 3: women are settling down later and later, and there is
Speaker 3: a course still societal pressure, like of course you still
Speaker 3: feel like I'm running out of time. Women have a
Speaker 3: biological cloudy. If we want to have kids. Of course
Speaker 3: that's in the back of your mind. We can't be
Speaker 3: as care free. We do have to think about that.
Speaker 3: That being said, what I encourage all my community to
Speaker 3: do is like not settle or not make choices out
Speaker 3: of fear of that societal pressure, because I think what
Speaker 3: we've seen historically is women settling or making choices that
Speaker 3: aren't the best for them just because they need feel
Speaker 3: they need to like check boxes by a certain time,
Speaker 3: and that's not going to equal happy piness. So I'm
Speaker 3: happy to see that women are getting settling down later
Speaker 3: in life. It doesn't mean that, you know, I'm not
Speaker 3: of the camp of like, oh, you know, we can
Speaker 3: all live by ourselves, like we all want love. Of
Speaker 3: course that's human right.
Speaker 4: But if you.
Speaker 3: Take a little while to discover who you are, to
Speaker 3: work on your career, to work on yourself, and you
Speaker 3: get married in your late thirties, forties, whatever, who cares?
Speaker 3: Like truly who cares? And I always talk about like
Speaker 3: being over the hump, and I feel like the hardest
Speaker 3: time is like twenty nine to like thirty two, because
Speaker 3: you're just completely manic all your friends are getting engaged,
Speaker 3: all your friends are getting married, and you're just like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm just totally manique. Yeah, it's a
Speaker 3: man of time, it's amount of time. But if you
Speaker 3: get over the hump, I'm not going to be a
Speaker 3: young bride like that shit is sailed. And now I
Speaker 3: feel like completely free yea. And now I'm like, I'll
Speaker 3: know it when I see it, and that's really exciting
Speaker 3: and freeing and until then I can just have fun. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I always.
Speaker 1: I always thought of it as like I in my twenties,
Speaker 1: I really gave my whole life to like my career,
Speaker 1: like I and what I realize like now in hindsight,
Speaker 1: now that I am married, like I just got married,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I give so much to my relationship and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't think I would have been able
Speaker 1: to do as much in my career as I did
Speaker 1: if I were in that relationship at that point in
Speaker 1: my life. I know myself because I give everything a
Speaker 1: hundred and so I would have been.
Speaker 3: I just know I wouldn't have.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I feel like I believe in God,
Speaker 1: and I feel like God kept me single for that
Speaker 1: period of time to like fully give myself to my
Speaker 1: career to like do these things that i'd like never
Speaker 1: imagine that I could, and then brought him into my life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's so beautiful. And I think it's like,
Speaker 3: you know, you have to kind of lean into where
Speaker 3: like what is in front of you, and that's all
Speaker 3: about like how woo you want to get? But like
Speaker 3: I really think you have to think, what is the
Speaker 3: universe showing me right now? If the universe is showing
Speaker 3: you tons of opportunities in your career, okay, it's a
Speaker 3: good time to push there. If the universe drops an
Speaker 3: amazing person into your life, okay, that's your time to
Speaker 3: spend time with this person then. And I don't know
Speaker 3: if you guys have read Matthew McConaughey's book Green Lights,
Speaker 3: but I always think about that, like I he's like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's a green light, or like you kind of have
Speaker 3: to look for those things. And I always just think
Speaker 3: I think there's timing, like we're all.
Speaker 1: That's actually good way of putting it. I feel like
Speaker 1: I forced.
Speaker 3: You're really trying to turn some red lights green, trying
Speaker 3: to like look at the green lights.
Speaker 1: But I didn't necessarily think that they were green, trying
Speaker 1: to make them green.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's normal. We all do that, like, especially in
Speaker 3: our twenties. We're like, no, this horrible person is my soulmate,
Speaker 3: and yeah, your family and friends are like no, they're not,
Speaker 3: like what are you doing? And it just takes time
Speaker 3: and learning. But you know, we all have different seasons,
Speaker 3: we all have different eras, and it's like freeing to
Speaker 3: know that everybody is on their own path. You just
Speaker 3: have to honestly have little faith.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I want to get into the dating, dating world that
Speaker 2: you're experiencing, but first we're going to take a break.
Speaker 4: All right, we're back.
Speaker 2: So what is dating like for you in this this
Speaker 2: era of Tony actually met her husband on the dating app.
Speaker 2: So I'm I'm a big supporter of the dating app.
Speaker 4: So what is it?
Speaker 3: Funny? He's like, totally normal. I know, I know it
Speaker 3: can happen. I know it can happen. About how how
Speaker 3: long ago did you meet? Twenty nineteen? Yeah that was back?
Speaker 2: You got a bad Really what is trump shoe?
Speaker 3: Yeah? They're really bad? Now what is it? Because I
Speaker 3: hear this all the time. People are addicted to validation.
Speaker 3: They match and they will never speak it. They don't
Speaker 3: have any intention, and it's an addiction and like I'm
Speaker 3: not some angel, like I feel it too. Sometimes I'll
Speaker 3: match with the guy and I'm never going to meet
Speaker 3: up with him. But I did that a lot too.
Speaker 3: You know you're like, oh, well, you know, maybe he
Speaker 3: looks all right, you see one thing on his profile,
Speaker 3: you match, then you never meet up. Like that's but
Speaker 3: that's everybody does that. There's just too much choice. It's
Speaker 3: fried our brains. It used to be a good service.
Speaker 3: It used to be like uber, like if you would
Speaker 3: want a date, you would go on it. You'd get
Speaker 3: a date and see if it worked. If it does great,
Speaker 3: if not, cool. Now it's more like Instagram or TikTok,
Speaker 3: where people just go when they're swiping, and they're swiping
Speaker 3: and they do it whether in a waiting room, they're like, oh,
Speaker 3: just going hints for a little bit. And that's why
Speaker 3: it's completely lost. It's efficacy. I kind of I guess
Speaker 3: I'm on the apps. I'm not like in a dating time.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm like gonna, I'm so happy like in
Speaker 3: my life and I'm a very decisive person and when
Speaker 3: I know it, I'll see it. I'll see it. You
Speaker 3: know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Do you have EDI when you've when you have been
Speaker 2: in a dating season? Yeah, do you have an emmat like,
Speaker 2: do you have something where within the first few minutes
Speaker 2: you're like absolutely not. Yeah, I mean beyond just like
Speaker 2: a attraction.
Speaker 3: It's a vibe. It's a vibe. And everyone that I've
Speaker 3: ever been with, I've met them and I'm like, They're
Speaker 3: gonna be my boyfriend or I'm gonna spend time with
Speaker 3: them or whatever. Like I'm a very It's just an
Speaker 3: energy thing. And some would say that I'm too judgmental
Speaker 3: too quickly, but I think that I know right away
Speaker 3: like I do.
Speaker 4: That's what I was I was saying.
Speaker 1: No, everybody says like, oh, there's a slow burners the
Speaker 1: guys that like you meet, and I think you forget
Speaker 1: how how I was one of those people.
Speaker 4: You loved a slow burn. You were all about a
Speaker 4: slow burn until you met Robby, and now all of
Speaker 4: a sudden, you act like it has to be switcher tuned.
Speaker 2: But I also before my girlfriend, I was like, as
Speaker 2: soon as I.
Speaker 4: Would meet up with a guy, I'm like, when can
Speaker 4: I go home?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: That's how Maybe it was because it was men.
Speaker 3: I don't know, but yeah, fair exactly. I just think
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm I'm not too worried about it, like,
Speaker 3: oh yeah, I feel like I am having fun, Like
Speaker 3: I'll go on a date here and there. I just like,
Speaker 3: I think that the pressure that's on women is so
Speaker 3: insane and I have better things to do with my
Speaker 3: time than like freak out and go on seventy hinge
Speaker 3: dates in a week, Like I just I.
Speaker 1: You have to, literally, it's what it feels like. It's
Speaker 1: like you're just going on like a hundred You're.
Speaker 3: Like yeah, and you just and if you if you're
Speaker 3: at a point where you feel you're like bored with
Speaker 3: yourself or you're like not putting your best foot forward,
Speaker 3: like you should be excited to go on a date.
Speaker 3: You should be like, I'm excited, I'm gonna get dressed up.
Speaker 3: This person could be interesting. And if you're at a
Speaker 3: point where you're like, oh my god, I'm like just
Speaker 3: going to do this like it's homework, that's not a
Speaker 3: good place to be in it. And I'm a big advocate.
Speaker 3: Like in my community, we have this thing called summer outside,
Speaker 3: where like we really try to be off our phones
Speaker 3: and we really try to like change our energy and
Speaker 3: do like say yes to things that at our non phone,
Speaker 3: like going to the dinner party with your friend, or
Speaker 3: like going out with your coworker who you've never seen
Speaker 3: outside of work, or like doing the sports thing, and
Speaker 3: that we have so many success stories in my community
Speaker 3: of people being like yeah, I was like for get
Speaker 3: I'm going to Spain and then I met this guy
Speaker 3: or whatever. Like we just need to like people act
Speaker 3: like there's no real life anymore, like we just live online. Yeah,
Speaker 3: there's still coffee shops, there's still dinner parties, there's still bars,
Speaker 3: there's still clubs, there's still all these things, and it's
Speaker 3: just about changing your energy. And sometimes I'll even catch myself.
Speaker 3: I'll be out with friends and I'll be like hunched
Speaker 3: over like on my phone, Like listen, like nobody's going
Speaker 3: to come up to you that way. Yeah, if your
Speaker 3: phone's in your bag and you're like looking around, you're
Speaker 3: like hey, hey, like yeah, people want to talk, people
Speaker 3: want to connect, especially if they're at a place like
Speaker 3: a bar. You know, they didn't come there to be
Speaker 3: on their phone, neither did you. So put your phone
Speaker 3: away and look around and smile.
Speaker 4: It's so true.
Speaker 2: It's become like the security blanket. But it's the most
Speaker 2: hindering thing of like having any human connection. It's weird
Speaker 2: because it's like you're seeking connection in the most surface
Speaker 2: level way, like you're seeking something.
Speaker 3: It's not surface.
Speaker 2: It's easy, but it's also like you're trying, like you're
Speaker 2: scrolling social media trying to get validation there as opposed
Speaker 2: to seeking human connection, with which I think everyone's craving
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 3: I did it. I literally did it in every way,
Speaker 3: shape or form. I would be on the apps.
Speaker 1: DM whatever, messaging every guy in the app, ID, on Instagram,
Speaker 1: like dming whoever, you know, in real life, going to
Speaker 1: the bar, like with my eyes open, trying to make
Speaker 1: eye contact, like I was like.
Speaker 4: Feral holding eye contact with someone as they.
Speaker 1: And I just make eye connectively said hi to me,
Speaker 1: and then I would like go in like I was
Speaker 1: like on it.
Speaker 4: It's crazy.
Speaker 2: It's true, though, there is so much pressure, and it's
Speaker 2: like and then you get to a certain age and
Speaker 2: because of the societal pressure, it's like people are like, I'm.
Speaker 3: Like they after you haven't thought about it, Like we
Speaker 3: as women, we've thought about this stuff since we're young,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: So it's like, how many people have asked you if
Speaker 1: you've frozen your eggs?
Speaker 3: Seventy five thousand, ye one thing? And I'm like, it's
Speaker 3: not like I don't mind talking about it. It's just
Speaker 3: like it just bothers me that those are the first
Speaker 3: questions that we always ask women, like are you this
Speaker 3: and that? And like are you going to freeze your eggs?
Speaker 3: And I'm like, well, you haven't asked a man if
Speaker 3: you got a sperm checked?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so sorry, I may I always get, but I
Speaker 1: always get the when I say I haven't frozen my eggs,
Speaker 1: I get the why not?
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: I'm like, obviously, this is something I thought about.
Speaker 3: Very And then if you say your reason like I
Speaker 3: didn't know you hadn't, I haven't either, and I don't
Speaker 3: plan to. It's not the right choice for me. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And I have like a list of reasons. I wrote
Speaker 3: a pros and cons list. I'm a virgo, Like I
Speaker 3: really did think about it. Yeah, right, I say my
Speaker 3: reasons and then like people will still write me and
Speaker 3: be like I know you think this, but like you're
Speaker 3: gonna regret this, and like that's a wild thing to say.
Speaker 3: To someone. Yeah, it's a wild thing to say to
Speaker 3: someone when they've clearly put a lot of thought into it. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And it's such a personal choice, and I think because
Speaker 3: it is such a sensitive thing, there is a lot
Speaker 3: of projection when it comes to it. So it's like
Speaker 3: everybody needs to research and do what's best for them.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad it's an option for women. I really am.
Speaker 3: I think yeah totally. I said that. I'm like, I
Speaker 3: love that it's an option. It's amazing. It's not my option.
Speaker 3: It's not for me.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, but always it's always followed up with
Speaker 1: like the one hundred slew of things.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it is what.
Speaker 1: Uh Well, I wanted to kind of shift into the
Speaker 1: book because I know it comes out May six. Yes,
Speaker 1: so the plan is the book comes out May six.
Speaker 1: When does the series come out? Have you started working
Speaker 1: on that at all? We are in the beginning stages.
Speaker 1: I'm so new to this process.
Speaker 3: I'm learning. I'm going to be an executive executive producer,
Speaker 3: which I'm so excited about. So do you pick the cast?
Speaker 3: I think yeah, but they've been amazing so far. So
Speaker 3: we're starting to do the meeting and kind of look
Speaker 3: at writers and everything, which is really cool.
Speaker 4: Okay in your mind?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and who's like the ideal like your main
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 3: A list, but I don't want to jinx it. I
Speaker 3: have I have a list in my head. I have
Speaker 3: a list on my phone so that if it comes true,
Speaker 3: I can show everyone. But like I'm manifesting, so I
Speaker 3: can't chink it.
Speaker 4: Do you have more than one person for each cast
Speaker 4: or you just have.
Speaker 3: I have like the cast in my mind. Oh wow,
Speaker 3: I am kind of a good manifestor so we'll see
Speaker 3: if it happens.
Speaker 2: But yeah, fingers, does the main character in your mind
Speaker 2: look like you?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: Oh no, I made her like blind with like big
Speaker 3: boobs and like really sexy because like I don't know,
Speaker 3: that's what I imagine. I wanted to work out because
Speaker 3: like when I was writing it, I was like this
Speaker 3: will be made into a movie or a show. Like
Speaker 3: I was like manifesting while I was doing it, So
Speaker 3: I was like, wow, like who do I think of you?
Speaker 2: Know?
Speaker 4: What do you do? You seem powerful in your manifestations?
Speaker 4: How what is what is the key?
Speaker 3: I think just like you always have to be like
Speaker 3: like having fun I like love Gabby Bernstein. I'm like,
Speaker 3: if you have are having fun, like the manifesting will
Speaker 3: come easy. And it's like I write a lot of
Speaker 3: lists and I do a lot of treadmill manifesting, which
Speaker 3: is where you just are on the treadmill and you're
Speaker 3: like or you can be on a walk and you
Speaker 3: like visualize what you want to happen. I just started
Speaker 3: doing this. It's like I just started walking like it
Speaker 3: sounds just say. I always just.
Speaker 1: To think that I needed to like do like crazy
Speaker 1: like berries and like hit workouts and stuff, and I've
Speaker 1: just started like doing this like ten thousand steps a day.
Speaker 3: It's the best.
Speaker 1: I just started like two weeks before my wedding and
Speaker 1: now I'm like obsessed with it. But I was like,
Speaker 1: this is a great time. It's built in like hour
Speaker 1: where I'm not I don't have anything to do that
Speaker 1: I can start like really visualizing things.
Speaker 3: No, it's it's the best. I really love to walk,
Speaker 3: like I walk every day. I do my rich mom walks,
Speaker 3: and it's like where it's I do a lot of imagining,
Speaker 3: like visualization, you just like imagine it and it's I
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 4: What does a rich mom walk intol.
Speaker 3: Okay, So when I was doing my rich mom starter
Speaker 3: packs on social media, can think.
Speaker 4: Of an example of a like, let's do a Malibu
Speaker 4: rich mom starter.
Speaker 3: A Malviy rich mom starter pack is like a g
Speaker 3: wagon that has like an appropriate amount of scuffs on
Speaker 3: it because you're a cool girl and you don't care
Speaker 3: too much, and like also you've got seven of them,
Speaker 3: Aviator Nation sweatpants, a sun Life smoothie which you don't
Speaker 3: actually eat because it has low key twenty thousand calories
Speaker 3: in it, some sort of a trucker hat that's like
Speaker 3: faded that says like Malibu on it, like a lot
Speaker 3: of like logan hollow all jewelry that's like casually like
Speaker 3: fifty thousand dollars on your neck, even though it like
Speaker 3: might get lost in the waves. But yeah, I'm basically
Speaker 3: obsessed with like rich mom places and the women who
Speaker 3: live in them. But then it kind of evolved into
Speaker 3: rich mom energy, which like anybody can have rich mom energy.
Speaker 3: You don't have to be rich or mom, you just
Speaker 3: it's like rich moms get shit done. They have an
Speaker 3: incredible sense of like power and beauty and they're fabulous.
Speaker 3: So then I started calling you rich mom walks, which
Speaker 3: is just like a walk you take could be five minutes,
Speaker 3: could be an hour, and you just like to your point,
Speaker 3: walking is literally the key to life. Like any problem
Speaker 3: that you have, if you go on a walk, it's
Speaker 3: like eighty percent solved when you come back. It really
Speaker 3: helps you think. And people don't walk enough. In my opinion,
Speaker 3: I'm I have to get ten k steps to day
Speaker 3: or I go mentally insane. And you can go get
Speaker 3: a coffee, you can talk to someone on the phone,
Speaker 3: just use it as your U time, Like we really
Speaker 3: don't have enough time to just do simple things. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and that's why I'm so passionate about walking.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you and Tanya are really it's the best.
Speaker 3: It really is.
Speaker 1: I know I've become like a I'm like, where has
Speaker 1: this been my whole life? So I've been like beating
Speaker 1: myself at these gyms, and it's just like it's in
Speaker 1: the walk.
Speaker 3: It's in the walk. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was going to get into your physical fitness journey
Speaker 2: because I feel like I've seen you talk a lot
Speaker 2: about that and how much it's transformed. No, like again,
Speaker 2: not only just like your physical body, but it seems
Speaker 2: like your mental confidence yes, like thinking even I remember
Speaker 2: seeing videos of you, like being upset after dates and
Speaker 2: like on the internet, and I feel and obviously there
Speaker 2: comes like with time, there comes perspective totally, but in general,
Speaker 2: I feel like you have had this glow up that's
Speaker 2: so nice.
Speaker 3: Thank you. I feel like weightlifting literally changed my life.
Speaker 3: And I always was one of those people who thought
Speaker 3: it's not for me, it's gonna make me bulky, it's
Speaker 3: for really intense people like I never thought it would
Speaker 3: be me. And then like a year and a half ago,
Speaker 3: I guess like cliche, I started in January of twenty
Speaker 3: twenty four. I was like, you know what, let me
Speaker 3: just try. Let me commit to six months and really
Speaker 3: not give up this time, because I've started a million
Speaker 3: times like everybody, it's just so normal to quit and
Speaker 3: I am obsessed with it. So I train. I like
Speaker 3: lift heavy weights. There's something about the hardness of it.
Speaker 3: Like I know all workouts are hard, berries is hard,
Speaker 3: pilates is hard, but there's something about like almost primal
Speaker 3: about lifting heavy things and like getting stronger that just
Speaker 3: makes you feel so proud of yourself. And also I
Speaker 3: think as adults, like we don't often get the chance
Speaker 3: to become better at something, like by the time you're
Speaker 3: in your thirties, you're like, you know what you're good at.
Speaker 3: You stick to those things. You don't really learn new
Speaker 3: things that often. And so for me, when I started weightlifting,
Speaker 3: I was like, this is hard. I feel not good
Speaker 3: at it. I feel, you know, like I'm a loser
Speaker 3: and whatever. And just building up my strength has been incredible.
Speaker 3: So I'm like such a big advocate for weightlifting, and yeah,
Speaker 3: weightlifting and walking and it's good. And also, like to
Speaker 3: your point, it does when you turn inwards, all the
Speaker 3: rest of the stuff gets easier. You're like, ah, I
Speaker 3: don't really care. Oh it's a bad day, Like I'll
Speaker 3: get over it, like whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like what you said about that, because I
Speaker 2: also sometimes and I have this mentality that I feel
Speaker 2: like has held me back so much, which is if
Speaker 2: I'm not immediately good at it.
Speaker 3: I won't try it totally.
Speaker 2: And so I always think, like, what are the things
Speaker 2: that I've missed out on that maybe I've had interest in,
Speaker 2: but I've been scared that I'm not going to be
Speaker 2: good at it, So therefore I just go or I
Speaker 2: do what you do, and I what you did. And
Speaker 2: I start something and then if I'm not immediately good
Speaker 2: at it or don't feel strong in it, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I quit totally.
Speaker 3: I'm the same way, like I really hate being bad
Speaker 3: at things. I think it's especially at this stage in
Speaker 3: my life. I feel like embarrassed if I'm not good
Speaker 3: at something or I don't know how to do something.
Speaker 3: And I was like, you know what, nobody is thinking
Speaker 3: about me as much as I'm thinking about me, And
Speaker 3: this is just like so many of my friends have
Speaker 3: gotten into it, and it's also really important as women
Speaker 3: that like for our bone density and just the strength training.
Speaker 3: So I was like, let me just commit to six
Speaker 3: months and see it was hard. I really almost quit
Speaker 3: like three four months, and then I was like, I'm
Speaker 3: so glad I pushed through because now I'm obsessed. It's
Speaker 3: just really also so good for my mental health. Yeah,
Speaker 3: thing is just different about it. Of course, I love
Speaker 3: the pilates class with the girlies. That's so fun. I
Speaker 3: love that stuff. I love all the classes are great,
Speaker 3: but there's something about like the weightlifting that just makes
Speaker 3: me has really helped transform me.
Speaker 2: I wanted to talk to you about making friends in
Speaker 2: your thirties and even I think twenties, because I think
Speaker 2: once you're out of an organized like school system, or
Speaker 2: I mean, it's hard even now because everything's remote, so
Speaker 2: a lot of people don't even go into a work environment.
Speaker 2: So a lot of people are just sitting at home
Speaker 2: on their phones or computers working and they don't have
Speaker 2: any interaction or ways of like making friends. What is
Speaker 2: the advice you give people who are searching for friendship
Speaker 2: and connection.
Speaker 3: I think you have to actually like put in the work,
Speaker 3: because it is one of the most common questions that
Speaker 3: I got. People are like, I need to make more friends,
Speaker 3: especially single people are like I need to make single friends,
Speaker 3: like that you alone, especially as my friends get married,
Speaker 3: And I totally feel that it's really scary to feel like, oh,
Speaker 3: I have literally no one to go out with on
Speaker 3: a Friday night when I'm single or whatever. But you know,
Speaker 3: the thing is, especially post pandemic people sometimes like they're
Speaker 3: like I don't have any friends. I don't have any friends,
Speaker 3: And I'm like, okay, well have you tried, Like have
Speaker 3: you You have to go make the effort. You have
Speaker 3: to go to the workout class and say hey to
Speaker 3: the girl you have to go if. I always say
Speaker 3: to do whatever you like to do. So if you
Speaker 3: like to run, join the run club. Do it, even
Speaker 3: if it means you're getting a slower time or you're
Speaker 3: not getting as good a run. Go do the social thing.
Speaker 3: If you like to go out, like I like to
Speaker 3: go out, so I've made a lot of friends out partying.
Speaker 3: I know that sounds silly, but that's what I like
Speaker 3: to do. I meet friends out and then we go
Speaker 3: out together because that's how I spend my time. Another
Speaker 3: great hack is, like single people always think to ask
Speaker 3: married people for a setup. They're terrible it setups.
Speaker 2: We know this.
Speaker 3: A really good thing to do is ask the do
Speaker 3: you have any other single friends you could set me
Speaker 3: up with? That's a really and then they're like that's
Speaker 3: a very easy task for them. They're like, yes, I
Speaker 3: know all the single people. I can smush them together.
Speaker 3: And then that's a great way to make friends as well.
Speaker 3: But you have to show up. You have to do
Speaker 3: the awkward first coffee date. Yeah, it's not pleasant. We
Speaker 3: don't like it. Of course, you miss your old best friend,
Speaker 3: but guess what, your best friend lives on the other
Speaker 3: side of the country and she's got a baby, so
Speaker 3: you need to be planting some seeds. I recently made
Speaker 3: a new friend. I made two new friends, and I
Speaker 3: love them so much. Like I got introduced to them
Speaker 3: via my other friend who's married, and she was like,
Speaker 3: you guys should meet. You know, you'll have a great time.
Speaker 3: And we have the best time. Now, Like you just
Speaker 3: have to do the first awkward meeting and see if
Speaker 3: you vibe.
Speaker 2: That's a good point because a lot of our friends
Speaker 2: have other friends. You know, a lot of people don't
Speaker 2: like to merge their friend groups, but they have friends
Speaker 2: from different seasons and it's like the one thing you
Speaker 2: have in common is a friend.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you're friends with them, then hopefully they
Speaker 3: have no bad vibes people around them, right, And I
Speaker 3: do believe the saying like good people know good people.
Speaker 3: So if it's a friend, that's you have to ask, like, hey,
Speaker 3: do you know any other single people or whatever, like whatever.
Speaker 4: It may be, it's so true, like you have to
Speaker 4: put in the effort and those.
Speaker 2: The first coffee day with a friend might be worse
Speaker 2: than the first day.
Speaker 3: It might be harder than dating because it's it is
Speaker 3: awkward and you're like I don't know where to go
Speaker 3: with this, and maybe it won't work out, but then
Speaker 3: the next one you will have that instant connection. I
Speaker 3: staying especially with women for me at least, I know,
Speaker 3: like also very fast with a girl. It's like if
Speaker 3: they're vulnerable right away and they're just like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: this and that is going on, I'm like, Oh, we're
Speaker 3: gonna vibe like that's so cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So do you have any things when you're scrolling or
Speaker 2: like IX about social media or things like when you're
Speaker 2: looking that that you're you just you know how Sometimes
Speaker 2: you'll be scrolling and you'll see something You're like, I
Speaker 2: just need to put my phone down, Like you see
Speaker 2: something in your go okay, this is my phone.
Speaker 4: Time is done.
Speaker 3: I think I am genuinely trying to limit myself more
Speaker 3: and more because it just isn't I don't know, it's
Speaker 3: not feeding me the same way I used to. I
Speaker 3: I try to go on and have fun for a
Speaker 3: little bit and then close out. I'm trying to think
Speaker 3: about what things pick me out. One thing I don't
Speaker 3: love is when people will do on TikTok, like a
Speaker 3: cryptic video. They'll be like, guys, like I was just
Speaker 3: in an event and there was an influencer there and
Speaker 3: you guys all really love her, and she looked at
Speaker 3: me in a really weird way and it just really
Speaker 3: hurt my feelings and she's evil, and then it's like
Speaker 3: a witch hunt in the comments.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I wasn't there one just recently about Alex
Speaker 1: Earl like that.
Speaker 3: I think there was. Yeah, I feel like I saw
Speaker 3: on TMZ. But also it's just like, here's my thing.
Speaker 3: If you want to start internet beef, start it, like,
Speaker 3: if you really want to go there, then go and
Speaker 3: make a video and be like I'm beefing with this
Speaker 3: person for X y Z reasons. Don't make a cryptic
Speaker 3: video and put a witch hunt so that everybody's trying
Speaker 3: to guess and make it so like I don't know.
Speaker 3: That just rubs me the wrong way. That's like what
Speaker 3: Duma was kind of. Yeah, well that's more like celeb
Speaker 3: gossip or whatever, like spottings and whatever.
Speaker 1: I'm always so bad at them, Like I'll read Dumont
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, who are they talking about?
Speaker 3: And I have to like go on the comments like yeah,
Speaker 3: I know. I like sometimes I'll see the blind items
Speaker 3: on TikTok and I love them, and they're always like
Speaker 3: in code, they're like the sexy actress and I'm like,
Speaker 3: I don't know who it is, and then it's so
Speaker 3: obvious I got him.
Speaker 4: Have you ever been the subject of one of those videos?
Speaker 3: They always think it's me, That's what maybe why I
Speaker 3: hate them, Always like it's cheeks, isn't it? And I'm like,
Speaker 3: I literally don't want to influence their events.
Speaker 4: They give me anxiety. And the person's always like, no,
Speaker 4: it's not.
Speaker 2: It's always nice when they make sure to let people
Speaker 2: know it's not.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then that's the most annoying part is and
Speaker 3: they go through the comments they're like, no, it's not her,
Speaker 3: No it's not.
Speaker 4: But didn't just say like.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, like enough it's not. It's just like silly.
Speaker 4: Can we talk about your DJ?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Because I was at an event for uh, did you
Speaker 2: DJ something with Tyler Cameron?
Speaker 4: Like an event?
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay last year I did it for his he
Speaker 3: had a show, yeah, and it was his the launch party,
Speaker 3: I believe, So he was.
Speaker 4: There and I was like, is that Tinks DJ?
Speaker 2: And they're like yeah, And I was like I didn't
Speaker 2: even know that that was something you did.
Speaker 3: I just started speaking of learning new things as an adult.
Speaker 3: I wanted to learn. I do it with my best
Speaker 3: friend Lucas. We have known each other for like almost
Speaker 3: ten years, and he's worked in music and we love
Speaker 3: to party together. We have a big group of friends,
Speaker 3: and we were like, how can we ensure that our
Speaker 3: friends get together like six times a year for sure,
Speaker 3: and also how can we get paid to party? And
Speaker 3: so now we DJ and he taught me and it's
Speaker 3: really fun. We've been doing it for I guess like
Speaker 3: a year and a half now, and it was really
Speaker 3: hard to learn. I don't know why everyone makes fun
Speaker 3: of DJ's being like it's so easy. I'm not easy.
Speaker 3: It's really hardy. But it's an incredible fun hobby. And
Speaker 3: like I said, I love to learn and be bad
Speaker 3: at something, and like it's scary, especially because obviously there's
Speaker 3: a cliche of like, oh, the influence are becoming DJ,
Speaker 3: Like I totally understand that. I think if you look
Speaker 3: at my history, I really have always been a committed
Speaker 3: party girl. So this is the natural progression for me.
Speaker 3: I didn't start partying in Brat's summer, Okay, I've been
Speaker 3: partying since way back, So it's very fun. We're headed
Speaker 3: to Stagecoach this weekend. We're dojing a pop up there,
Speaker 3: which will be amazing. Yes, it's really fun. We feel
Speaker 3: like you're like doing all the things. I like to
Speaker 3: be really busy. I really like to always be working
Speaker 3: on a project. I like again to bring it full circle.
Speaker 3: I really don't like my own thoughts. I'm like, I
Speaker 3: always like to be working on something creative because then
Speaker 3: it keeps me distressed instincts. I think something. There was
Speaker 3: a class in my college called Design your Life, and
Speaker 3: there's a professor and he always talked about how you
Speaker 3: should follow your curiosity, and that's something that's stuck with
Speaker 3: me all these years. He's like, it's really hard when
Speaker 3: older people tell younger people like follow your passion, and
Speaker 3: you're like, I don't know what my passion is. Like
Speaker 3: a lot of the times that feels so that feels
Speaker 3: so like intense to try and figure out what your
Speaker 3: passion is. And then if you follow your curiosity, That's
Speaker 3: something that's always really served me because I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm curious to go talk to this person, or I'm
Speaker 3: curious to go like try writing this book or I'm
Speaker 3: curious to try DJing, Like, just follow those things and
Speaker 3: that will help like move you along. And not to
Speaker 3: be corny, but it really puts you in the mindset
Speaker 3: of it's about the experience and the journey. It's not
Speaker 3: about the destination. It's not about the day the book
Speaker 3: comes out. It's about writing it and the creative process,
Speaker 3: and like, if you're proud of your work, then that's
Speaker 3: so important. Same with DJing. It's like, I don't know,
Speaker 3: it's I'm curious to see how far I can take it.
Speaker 3: It's fun. I like connecting with people.
Speaker 1: Why not, you know, could you like dj at Coachella
Speaker 1: one year?
Speaker 3: That's our dream, I think. So we've DJed, like we
Speaker 3: DJed the Nylon Party last year at Coachella, we DJed
Speaker 3: Surflage fourth of July, which was huge for us.
Speaker 1: That's in Surflage is like in the Hampton, Oh yeah, I.
Speaker 4: Know what your thing in the Malibou, Yes, yeah, surf Rider, Yeah, that's.
Speaker 3: I love that place too. But yeah, we we've had
Speaker 3: so much fun doing it, and it's obviously a great
Speaker 3: way for me to connect with my community. If they
Speaker 3: like to party, I'm like, yeah, that's cool, fun.
Speaker 4: This is your first stage coach, first stage coach.
Speaker 3: So excited?
Speaker 4: Are you going like full country girl? What's your vibe?
Speaker 3: I'm doing like tanks version of country.
Speaker 4: What is that like?
Speaker 3: I'm doing a lot of like turquoise jewelry and like
Speaker 3: the big belts and boots and boots, I have my
Speaker 3: good boots.
Speaker 2: Exciting kind of like what era was that where we
Speaker 2: had a lot of turquoise? Was that?
Speaker 3: Like it's very like Prince or Countess Luanne inspired. She's
Speaker 3: always got like massive like necklaces on.
Speaker 4: It's like your rich mom stage coach.
Speaker 3: It's like I feel like a lot of rich moms
Speaker 3: go to stage coach like they really like it, like
Speaker 3: it's like time for them to party. And I've heard
Speaker 3: that that crowded stage coach is slightly older or something
Speaker 3: saying about that too.
Speaker 4: It's fun because it's very like hash I think.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's you still have the It's the same
Speaker 2: thing because you have the influencers. You have everyone like
Speaker 2: wanting to go and get their pictures and meet everyone would.
Speaker 3: More chill, yeah, chill, that's yeah.
Speaker 4: I love that.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to experience it. I do like country music.
Speaker 3: I don't know I don't know too much about it,
Speaker 3: but I do really always if it's on, I'll keep
Speaker 3: it on. I like that, and I feel like it's
Speaker 3: so mainstream now.
Speaker 4: So it's it's more about the vibes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, since you're big on manifesting, what are the next
Speaker 1: two years?
Speaker 3: Dude?
Speaker 4: Got manifest thems?
Speaker 3: You can't tell us well?
Speaker 1: Like, I mean, there's something about speaking into the universal.
Speaker 3: No totally well recently, and I don't know if I'm
Speaker 3: going to pursue this. So I recently moved to New
Speaker 3: York and I've noticed that there's no good frozen yogurt shops,
Speaker 3: and I everyone on my team is like clenching their
Speaker 3: but holes to see if I actually forced them to
Speaker 3: go down this road because I was. I was like
Speaker 3: this week, I was like another thing. I think I'd
Speaker 3: like to open a frozen yogurt shop in New York
Speaker 3: because I the best part about LA is like all
Speaker 3: the fro yo and like, yeah, when you're in a
Speaker 3: suburban place, they have the best frozen yogurt and it's
Speaker 3: like such a treat and everybody loves it. Why would
Speaker 3: you not have that in New York City? Like the
Speaker 3: girlies need a fabulous place, and I would make it stunning,
Speaker 3: like I would make it blonde wood, warm lighting, so
Speaker 3: it's not like scary. You could go and sit with
Speaker 3: your friends and have amazing froyo. So I don't know,
Speaker 3: I kind of like jokingly said that I wanted to
Speaker 3: make that, but I don't know. I'm just going to
Speaker 3: follow my curiosity. As long as I'm like happy in
Speaker 3: the moment and working on some projects, I'm just kind of, yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm taking that with me after today, following your curt curiosity,
Speaker 2: because I do think there's when people ask what are
Speaker 2: your passion what are you passionate about?
Speaker 4: I get so overwhelmed because I'm like, it.
Speaker 3: Feels so vinyl, it feel like it feels so like intense.
Speaker 1: I always say, like this new TV show I'm watching
Speaker 1: so embarrassing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but curiosity, it's like And also, if you're ever
Speaker 3: feeling stuck, you just go back to that and you're like,
Speaker 3: what am I curious about right now? It could be
Speaker 3: something so small. It could be a person that you
Speaker 3: met that you want to have a coffee with and
Speaker 3: learn about their career whatever. Yeah, it could be a
Speaker 3: new restaurant, Like never limit yourself, just be like, oh,
Speaker 3: what is that? Like, why am I talking about fro you?
Speaker 3: Because I'm curious about it. I don't know, I want
Speaker 3: to see. Maybe I'll take a meeting. Yeah, I love
Speaker 3: that too. I'm feeling inspired.
Speaker 2: I feel like you're one of those people where you
Speaker 2: have an idea and you go get through always.
Speaker 4: I love that.
Speaker 3: I always have to like sometimes it takes years and
Speaker 3: years and years, but I just keep you just got
Speaker 3: to keep going and learn. That's a good patience. Patience
Speaker 3: is hard for me sometimes, but you just got to
Speaker 3: keep sewing. That a mantra I love is the day
Speaker 3: you plant the seed is not the day you bear
Speaker 3: the fruit. Yeah, that's true. I think about that all
Speaker 3: the time. So I always think about like planting little
Speaker 3: seeds and they'll flower in the future. We never know when,
Speaker 3: and that's kind of the exciting part of life. So true.
Speaker 4: Just start like a walking club.
Speaker 3: I would love to as well. Yeah we do. Why
Speaker 3: do rich Mount walks in my community? We get together.
Speaker 3: We've done like I don't know, eight or something all
Speaker 3: over the country. It's really fun.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a great rate. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: I get so excited, Like there's I have like this
Speaker 1: one route, and I ran into like an old friend
Speaker 1: of min that haven't seen it in years. She's like
Speaker 1: pregnant now, and we did our ten k steps together
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, it flew by, just like
Speaker 1: having a friend with me, especially somebody that hadn't seen
Speaker 1: in so long. And so now I'm like, anytime like
Speaker 1: I can get someone to do my walk with me, I'm.
Speaker 3: Like so fun. No, No, walking with a friend is
Speaker 3: the best. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I have a question that's just will round it out
Speaker 2: with this because I've been thinking about it the whole podcast.
Speaker 4: Where did Tinks come from?
Speaker 3: So? Tinks is it's a nickname that I gave myself
Speaker 3: when I was like eleven or twelve. It's from a movie.
Speaker 3: I basically watched this movie. It's called Strike, and it's
Speaker 3: about an all girls' school and there was this really
Speaker 3: beautiful girl in it, and she was really confident and
Speaker 3: her name was Tinka Parker. And so when I got
Speaker 3: back to school that fall, I was like, guys, call
Speaker 3: me Tinker Parker from now on, because that's like I'm
Speaker 3: going to be confident like her or whatever, and it
Speaker 3: got I don't know why they went with it, because
Speaker 3: if someone told me to call them Tinker Parker. I'd
Speaker 3: be like no, and then it got short into tink,
Speaker 3: and then I got short into Tanks and it just stuck,
Speaker 3: like for no reason, it just stuck for my whole life.
Speaker 2: So when you would would you introduce yourself as Tinks.
Speaker 3: Like in college? I did? Wow. Like in college, I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, they call me tanks. It's such a
Speaker 3: cute name. It really works for me. And yeah, maybe
Speaker 3: I was even manifesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like so unique, but just like so cute,
Speaker 1: Like I don't know another Tinks.
Speaker 3: No, it's easy, it's short. It's like, and you're the
Speaker 3: only Tinks, the only Tanks. No.
Speaker 4: I do you ever want to go back to Christina?
Speaker 3: Sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm like I've actually found on
Speaker 3: dating more recently. If I'm meeting someone, I'm like, I'm Christina,
Speaker 3: like just because I don't want to go into it
Speaker 3: and I just want a little bit of separation from
Speaker 3: my job. But I don't know. I always say call
Speaker 3: me either, like it really doesn't matter to me. I'm both.
Speaker 3: I answered to both.
Speaker 2: So when you go on dates, do people do guys
Speaker 2: recognize you because you're such a you're a girl's girl.
Speaker 4: So do.
Speaker 3: Guys usually know and then they'll like look you up.
Speaker 3: Then they'll be like, oh, I just looked at your
Speaker 3: Instagram and like my sister follows you, and I'm right,
Speaker 3: I really like I'll know I've met the guy when
Speaker 3: he's like, what do you do? Like that's that's hot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's It takes a lot of woolpower not to
Speaker 2: like google someone else.
Speaker 3: I know, And I hate to stop people before I
Speaker 3: go on date some them because I'll be aicked out.
Speaker 3: I'm very extensitive and I know that and I am
Speaker 3: working on it. But like one thing and I'm like,
Speaker 3: I can't, I can't do it.
Speaker 4: I need to know top three X, like right off
Speaker 4: the bat X.
Speaker 3: I would say, okay, if a guy doesn't like listen
Speaker 3: or ask me questions, which is an epidemic right now
Speaker 3: in dating, guys just like do not ask questions, and
Speaker 3: it's really it's insane. It's now that I've said it,
Speaker 3: you'll like look out for it and anyone's single out
Speaker 3: there will will have experienced this. I think when a
Speaker 3: guy doesn't have any like interests or when he's not interesting,
Speaker 3: he's not interested, which means he's not interesting that it's
Speaker 3: just like, I can't do that, and what else? I
Speaker 3: mean if a guy puts like emojis over other people's
Speaker 3: faces and his dating app profile, that's an immediate wait
Speaker 3: why because I'm like, I just I can't do that
Speaker 3: like that or he doesn't want you to think that
Speaker 3: his cute friend is him.
Speaker 4: Don't put that picture that.
Speaker 3: I think I will figure it out.
Speaker 2: I will perseure the thought of him, like putting the
Speaker 2: little it's giving insecure.
Speaker 3: No, it's just it's giving, thoughtful, it's giving.
Speaker 1: I don't have so many photos to choose from.
Speaker 3: I think you should reconsider.
Speaker 4: I can't.
Speaker 3: I can't do it.
Speaker 1: He doesn't have that many photos.
Speaker 3: He's like, should I have to use these? All these?
Speaker 3: This is alid? God, find another one? Yeah, yourself going.
Speaker 4: Anyway, there's the next stick. You only have six photos
Speaker 4: of yourself?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is like do you have physical.
Speaker 3: Ages or of Like, no, I'm honestly really chill about
Speaker 3: okay anything. I mean, look, am I a highth queen? Secretly? Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's pretty hard to go back from six to four
Speaker 3: after you've dated someone six four And I'm just gonna
Speaker 3: put that out there. But I would never swipe no
Speaker 3: on someone for a physical thing.
Speaker 4: Right, right.
Speaker 3: And also if you put all the guys I've dated
Speaker 3: in a room, you would be like there's no common
Speaker 3: thread between, Like you'd be every everything, everything, all over.
Speaker 3: It's just like an energy thing. Yeah, I just like
Speaker 3: Dick energy. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I like that you walk in and you know yeah.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for taking time to this was
Speaker 2: so fun.
Speaker 4: Thank you, We love you everyone.
Speaker 2: I'm so happy that you were not absolutely thrown off
Speaker 2: by Tanya.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm happy I didn't scare you off. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 3: it happens.
Speaker 4: She does that sometimes.
Speaker 3: It's such a fabulous conversation.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, so excited, and you pick up
Speaker 1: a copy six it's up, but you can preorder it now.
Speaker 4: Where can everyone follow you?
Speaker 2: At tanks t I n X on everything so nice,
Speaker 2: got it all, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: So fun