Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast
Speaker 1: Chris Harrison and Lauren Z mccomedy from the home office
Speaker 1: in Austin, Texas. If you've just watched our social media
Speaker 1: We're off to a banging start today. As Lauren has
Speaker 1: been doing her vocal exercises MEMI one two three, she's
Speaker 1: living with notes.
Speaker 2: Me me one, two, three, four five. I'm not.
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to do these vocal exercises four times a day.
Speaker 3: It's that's the hardest part is to remember. How do
Speaker 3: you remember to do something four times a day?
Speaker 1: Just a spit take there.
Speaker 2: Well, well, we'll see you doing four times, Okay.
Speaker 1: So here's the thing water.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just keep saying you're living with notes because I
Speaker 1: love pitch perfect, but you're actually not living with notes.
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 3: Actually, it's a vocal polyp. And I thought a polyp
Speaker 3: was like something that grows, you know, like some sort
Speaker 3: of cancerous Yes. No, but in the vocal world they
Speaker 3: use the word polyps an injury.
Speaker 1: So you're working with a voice coach that's kind of
Speaker 1: helping you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm not doing well and not doing well
Speaker 3: with my homework. It's very difficult. I need to think
Speaker 3: of it as like physical therapy because you've had an injury.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 1: I actually worked with three years ago as well. Not
Speaker 1: the same, but I did the same. I didn't I
Speaker 1: wasn't living with nodes.
Speaker 2: But what were you living with?
Speaker 1: I was losing my voice.
Speaker 2: I would go, you were living with little mermaid syndrome.
Speaker 1: I actually understand that reference.
Speaker 2: Of course you do you have a daughter.
Speaker 1: No, I would lose my voice from time to time
Speaker 1: because we're just hosting so much, especially when I was traveling,
Speaker 1: and then I would get to, like do a show
Speaker 1: in Vegas. Vegas throat is a real thing because it's
Speaker 1: so dry there. You're in the desert, smoky. Yeah, you're
Speaker 1: in terrible you know, parts of air, and so yeah,
Speaker 1: I would lose I would get very especially Miss America Week.
Speaker 2: You're like, uh, okay, questions, why have you not been
Speaker 2: the one training me?
Speaker 1: Because it's like teaching your spouse to play golf. It's
Speaker 1: a terrible idea.
Speaker 2: Wait do you actually think that is a terrible idea?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: I think it's a horrible idea. It's a great way
Speaker 1: to get divorced or broken up.
Speaker 3: I think you're right, because, by the way, please dms everybody.
Speaker 3: I would love to know do you think your spouse
Speaker 3: can teach you a skill? Because I know a lot
Speaker 3: of I guess women mostly who I've heard say well,
Speaker 3: I play golf now. I took it up so that,
Speaker 3: like my husband and I could do something together. And
Speaker 3: they asked me, do you play golf? And I say
Speaker 3: I now, But I do respond with I think at
Speaker 3: that school, you guys want to do something together. For me,
Speaker 3: Chris and I already do enough together. We work together,
Speaker 3: we like all sorts of different socializing together. We talk
Speaker 3: movies together, so we don't need another together thing. Like
Speaker 3: golf is your thing and I don't like it, so
Speaker 3: I'm certainly not going to take it up. But what
Speaker 3: I don't ask those women is well, is your husband
Speaker 3: the one teaching you golf?
Speaker 1: And I would say, don't do it. There's things when
Speaker 1: you're parenting and when you're when you're in a relationship
Speaker 1: that fall into this category. Be the fun, cool person,
Speaker 1: and when you're parenting you can't always be the fun,
Speaker 1: cool guy or whatever, but be the supportive person. So
Speaker 1: when you are learning golf, I would get you a
Speaker 1: great instructor. You need a different, bad guy different, and
Speaker 1: then I get to come in at the end and
Speaker 1: tell you how great you're doing. Then we get to
Speaker 1: maybe hit on the range, maybe go play a few
Speaker 1: holes together, and I get to tell you how great
Speaker 1: it is and how fun it is. So I'm the
Speaker 1: fun person in this relationship. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: the person telling you what you're doing wrong.
Speaker 2: I think you're totally right about that, because.
Speaker 1: It's like us having sex.
Speaker 2: And now that was.
Speaker 3: A spit take for me. I don't even know what
Speaker 3: that meant. That was like a dad joke, but a
Speaker 3: dirty dad folk.
Speaker 1: But no, you're agreed.
Speaker 3: You agree though with the golf, Well, I think that
Speaker 3: when your spouse is teaching you something, it's just really
Speaker 3: easy to You're gonna you're gonna be frustrated when you're
Speaker 3: learning golf or learning anything, but probably especially golf, especially golf,
Speaker 3: and so it's gonna be easy to snap at your spouse,
Speaker 3: and then your spouse is heard and then doing frustrated.
Speaker 1: I am doing what you're telling me exactly.
Speaker 3: So the idea of teaching someone golf is only cute
Speaker 3: for that image that we all have of like a
Speaker 3: third date in our head, you know, when you're just
Speaker 3: dating and it's like, oh, help me with my swing.
Speaker 1: The girl she acts like she doesn't know.
Speaker 2: What he's turns out she's a professional. Yes.
Speaker 1: And by the way, this brings us to our first
Speaker 1: question of the day, because today's episode is actually a
Speaker 1: Q and A with you the listener, and this comes
Speaker 1: from Bethany, and I wanted to go to you because
Speaker 1: Bethany says, my husband has recently taken up golf. Tell
Speaker 1: me what I need to know to be a golf wife,
Speaker 1: because wow, you're really good at this.
Speaker 2: Do you think I'm a golf wife.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know about that. I don't know what
Speaker 1: that even means, but I understand what she's talking.
Speaker 3: Yes, And I think there's something inherently about that term, Like, Bethany,
Speaker 3: you don't have to be a golf wife, you know.
Speaker 3: I certain that just takes away your identity. And I
Speaker 3: get that it's playful, but I don't think of myself
Speaker 3: as a golf wife. I do think if you want
Speaker 3: to be a spouse supporting your partner as they play golf.
Speaker 3: First of all, I'll be honest, I did it at
Speaker 3: Edgewood at the celebrity tournament. I walked all eighteen holes
Speaker 3: with you every day, three days. That's maybe the second
Speaker 3: time I've ever done that. I don't think that to
Speaker 3: be a good golf wife. I don't think you got
Speaker 3: to be out there for all eighteen holes because you're
Speaker 3: not going to enjoy that whole time.
Speaker 2: It's going to start to well.
Speaker 1: That was, by the way, a very special event and tournament,
Speaker 1: a celebrity event that you were just as much a
Speaker 1: part of on the daily when I'm here in Austin
Speaker 1: or whatever. What I love is you, And this goes
Speaker 1: for not just golf, Bethany, this goes for everything, man, woman,
Speaker 1: back and forth. We encourage each other's to do our
Speaker 1: own thing, love, our love, our passions, our hobbies. Courage that.
Speaker 2: That's a good point.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's your definition of golf wife. What type of
Speaker 3: golf wife are you? Are you the golf wife who says,
Speaker 3: go play for four hours, I'll see you later.
Speaker 2: Have a great time. I won't text you and.
Speaker 3: Enjoy and then you use those four hours, bet you
Speaker 3: and do what you want to do.
Speaker 2: That's a secret. Go to home goods, go to Marshalls.
Speaker 1: There's a candle you have time for all.
Speaker 2: Three and that's what I like to do.
Speaker 3: But I will say, like, look sort of dependent on
Speaker 3: and I would make these decisions based on the course,
Speaker 3: the temperature, the weather. Is it sometimes fun to like
Speaker 3: go out and ride in the cart with you or
Speaker 3: walk a few holes with you for a little bit, Yes,
Speaker 3: like we'll do that on vacation and it's fun.
Speaker 2: You got a margarita in hand. Just know that you.
Speaker 3: Should only engage in the golf if you're going to
Speaker 3: enjoy it yourself.
Speaker 2: Otherwise you'll start to resent the golf.
Speaker 3: So don't make yourself go out there and do it
Speaker 3: just because you think like you have to be there
Speaker 3: to be supportive. You don't, wouldn't you say, babe, that
Speaker 3: most men are probably like.
Speaker 2: I'm fine with you just letting me golf. You don't
Speaker 2: have to be part of this. Well.
Speaker 1: One of the best things you ever said to me
Speaker 1: when we first started dating and got married, you said,
Speaker 1: your thing doesn't need to be my thing. My thing
Speaker 1: doesn't need to necessarily be your thing. We can respect it,
Speaker 1: enjoy it from time to time, Like I honestly don't
Speaker 1: mind going to home goods from time to time. You
Speaker 1: don't mind coming out to special events. When it has
Speaker 1: to do with it.
Speaker 2: I need to call you out.
Speaker 3: All the amount of time that you have spent in
Speaker 3: home goods compared to the amount of time that I've
Speaker 3: spent on golf courses with you is vastly, wildly, So okay.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call home Goods out on something. Have events,
Speaker 1: have cocktail hours, have things where we know, yes, chakuteris
Speaker 1: a line we walk around home goods.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 3: You don't get Maybe if I ever bring you to
Speaker 3: home Goods, I should give you a snack.
Speaker 1: Let's elevate the event and they have food there.
Speaker 3: Oh sometimes I'll just open up a snack from the
Speaker 3: snack round. I'll just seat it.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, But I would just say that's some of the
Speaker 1: best thing is like you respect each other's passion, hobbies
Speaker 1: and all that, but it doesn't need to become your
Speaker 1: thing when you get married, when you start dating, you
Speaker 1: don't have to become the same person. Keeping that individuality,
Speaker 1: keeping those the separation of church and state is a
Speaker 1: good thing.
Speaker 3: And you know, I was in a relationship in the
Speaker 3: past with a guy who golfed a lot, and I
Speaker 3: would say, oh my gosh, you're golfing so much like
Speaker 3: we need time to do things together. And he would
Speaker 3: respond with, well, you should come golf with me, And
Speaker 3: that wasn't fair to me because that's like, well, I
Speaker 3: don't want to I don't want to have to learn
Speaker 3: to like this thing that I know I'm not interested
Speaker 3: in in order to spend time with you. We should
Speaker 3: have And that should have been a big red flag
Speaker 3: for me at that moment. You should have things that
Speaker 3: you enjoy doing together without one person having to force
Speaker 3: it upon themselves.
Speaker 1: And all these things can go too far.
Speaker 2: Now that being said Bethany.
Speaker 3: Honestly, at the end of the day, the simplest answer
Speaker 3: on how to be a good golf wife is make
Speaker 3: sure there's drinks and snacks and make sure that he
Speaker 3: knows you need drinks and snacks. Do you remember early
Speaker 3: on I forget where it was. He might have been
Speaker 3: at Pebble Beach, you know what, God, where were we? Honestly,
Speaker 3: it was sometime when like Caitlin and Jason were with us.
Speaker 1: We're a Riviera country river area, tiger Wood's kind of
Speaker 1: ryder cup event, yes, with he and Fred couple.
Speaker 3: So we were walking, Caitlyn and Jason were together at
Speaker 3: the time, and I think you and I were walking
Speaker 3: with Tiger because your friends with Tiger, and I sort
Speaker 3: of knew I can't really say anything on this one,
Speaker 3: like I'm in this and I gotta just be quiet
Speaker 3: because like he's walking with Tiger.
Speaker 2: Was this is a big deal.
Speaker 3: But I would say about halfway through, I was like,
Speaker 3: are there no drinks and snacks anywhere? And I told
Speaker 3: you later and you were like, Okay, I will never
Speaker 3: make you go nine holes without a drink and snack
Speaker 3: break again.
Speaker 1: That was an awakening, that was a realization. It was
Speaker 1: a communication, and it's never happened since, so thank you, Bethany.
Speaker 2: I haven't looked at these at all.
Speaker 3: We kind of try to go on a little blind
Speaker 3: so that the answers are natural. But so I'm going
Speaker 3: to just pick one and go back and let's just
Speaker 3: back and forth at babe.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to ask you.
Speaker 3: Mary Anne wants to know, are there any topics you
Speaker 3: will never talk about on your podcast?
Speaker 2: What are the off limits topics?
Speaker 1: I think there's there's some things with the show I
Speaker 1: just don't ever go back to, just because I just
Speaker 1: never want to be that person. And what are what
Speaker 1: are personal things I was trying to think of personal.
Speaker 3: I think it's not so much topics as like the
Speaker 3: deep layers of those topics. Like I talk about losing
Speaker 3: my dad, but there are some things that are like
Speaker 3: so painful for my family and my family that I like,
Speaker 3: don't go to those places, or like we might. I
Speaker 3: might talk about past relationships, but I'm not going to
Speaker 3: get into specifics about who that person was and that
Speaker 3: kind of thing, because I want to respect people's privacy.
Speaker 3: So it's like I don't know, or maybe you made
Speaker 3: a sex joke earlier. I feel like we'll talk about
Speaker 3: our sex life a little bit, but we don't go
Speaker 3: do deep. You got to keep some things personal.
Speaker 1: What's funny is I've thought about this podcast, and you
Speaker 1: know we always think as producers, Okay, what could you
Speaker 1: do to elevate it, make it bigger. I know there
Speaker 1: are podcasts out there where people really go to the
Speaker 1: crwch they're all in and no pun intended, but you
Speaker 1: know they'll talk about their sex life. They'll talk about
Speaker 1: the everything details, the good, the bad, the ugly. I
Speaker 1: know that could be revelatory and like get big clicks
Speaker 1: and get headlines It's just not me. It never has
Speaker 1: been me. I wasn't that guy when I was hosting.
Speaker 1: You're not that type of a journalist, and you're not
Speaker 1: that type of a person. We're not that type of
Speaker 1: people in our own lives. And I guess my main
Speaker 1: thing is what you get on the podcast is genuinely
Speaker 1: who Lauren and I are. We don't joke and talk
Speaker 1: about that stuff when we're with our friends, so I'm
Speaker 1: not going to do it here. I guess that's the
Speaker 1: thing is I maintain the same level of decorum. And
Speaker 1: so if you are that kind of shock person in
Speaker 1: life where you're going to talk about you know, I
Speaker 1: don't even want to go there, but you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, then then great, that's you. But that's just
Speaker 1: that's never been us, So why fake it.
Speaker 3: I think there's just that line of like, of course,
Speaker 3: like we want to connect with you guys, and we
Speaker 3: love connecting with you, but there's just I think that
Speaker 3: there's some things and it's different for everybody what your
Speaker 3: threshold is.
Speaker 2: But if you give it all away.
Speaker 3: I had someone tell me once, you don't want to
Speaker 3: give away too many pieces of yourself or you'll have
Speaker 3: nothing left O interesting, and I thought that that has
Speaker 3: stuck with me as like a simple but clear way
Speaker 3: of looking at it. That as much as I think
Speaker 3: there's power in sharing and relating to each other, some stuff,
Speaker 3: it's like, and by the way, there's some stuff I
Speaker 3: would like only tell my mom, or some stuff I
Speaker 3: would maybe only share with my best friends, and that
Speaker 3: kind of keeps those relationships special in a good way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, here's a question from Serena that I think is
Speaker 1: really interesting because I've actually never asked you this. Lz.
Speaker 1: Out of all the bat I love, everyone just calls
Speaker 1: you Alzo out of all the bachelors, who is most
Speaker 1: your type?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Well you weren't a bachelor. I guess
Speaker 2: you were.
Speaker 3: You know what is funny about that. I used to
Speaker 3: say this all the time when I was covering the show.
Speaker 3: I never found any of the guys attractive. And I
Speaker 3: don't mean that in like a rude way. I just
Speaker 3: think there was this wall, and it even was a
Speaker 3: wall that existed with you and I until we always
Speaker 3: say we literally luckily kind of ran into each other
Speaker 3: off of the red carpet and saw each other in
Speaker 3: this different way. But I think there was one this
Speaker 3: wall of like I just always looked at them as
Speaker 3: in this workplace environment way where I didn't even think
Speaker 3: about them that way. But two, not to like age myself.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm in my mid thirties, but they always
Speaker 3: all even though some of them were probably older than me,
Speaker 3: they always felt young to me, like younger than me.
Speaker 3: I think I felt like, I don't know, maybe not maternal,
Speaker 3: but like, on the one hand, I had to ask
Speaker 3: them deep questions. On the other hand, I think I
Speaker 3: felt they were trusting me with a lot of vulnerable
Speaker 3: things they were sharing. So I felt protective of them
Speaker 3: because I kind of knew a little bit of how
Speaker 3: the show worked, and I knew how intense it was,
Speaker 3: and so I tried to be respectful and protective of
Speaker 3: what I would, you know, how I did interviews and stuff,
Speaker 3: and maybe I wasn't always successful, but so I just
Speaker 3: didn't look at them in that way. Like Ben Higgins
Speaker 3: was the first bachelor I ever interviewed, and a lot
Speaker 3: of my friends like Ben was a popular bachelor. A
Speaker 3: lot of people thought he was cute. Ben seems like
Speaker 3: a little brother to me, Like I was like, oh, oh, you.
Speaker 1: Guys, By the way, y'all have that relationship. In real life,
Speaker 1: y'all very much have.
Speaker 3: That, which I think is why it's great that like
Speaker 3: we were such great friends with him a jest, because
Speaker 3: it seems so how like is Ben like sunlike to
Speaker 3: you or is he? I don't know all of them,
Speaker 3: you know they've become.
Speaker 2: I think Ben and Wells you feel a little more.
Speaker 1: Yea, our relationship has evolve in the beginning, when they
Speaker 1: are the backs of the backs already, well, it changed.
Speaker 1: That's interesting question. So back in the day, the Bob
Speaker 1: Guineas Andrew Firestones and all that, I think because I
Speaker 1: was so new, I felt like I was in my
Speaker 1: infancy in the show, and I was learning along with them,
Speaker 1: and we were a lot closer in age. Firestone and
Speaker 1: I are not that far apart. Bob Ginny and I
Speaker 1: are very close in age.
Speaker 2: I think Bob's the only one who's older than you.
Speaker 2: Only like a year there was.
Speaker 1: The Bass Fisherman Byron Velvick who was older than me.
Speaker 1: Brad Womax right there with me. So there are a few.
Speaker 1: But like back in the day, I think my infancy
Speaker 1: and growing went along with them, and I felt a
Speaker 1: little closer. But then it became more I was more
Speaker 1: of a producer slash father figure, taking them under my wing,
Speaker 1: really trying to help them emotionally and otherwise. And then
Speaker 1: I would try to advise them after the show and
Speaker 1: they would lean on me in that way. Then subsequently,
Speaker 1: definitely the relationships grew, whether it's like Michelle Money and
Speaker 1: Mike Weir becoming just really good friends of ours, Ben
Speaker 1: Higgins Wells, for sure, we've we those Ashley I and
Speaker 1: Jared I don't know why I still call her Ashley I,
Speaker 1: but our relationships have grown because they've grown as adults
Speaker 1: and Jadent Tanner having babies, and Ari and Lauren same thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everybody's grown up in those life phases have hit.
Speaker 3: They're also a key to like once the show's over, Literally,
Speaker 3: once that season was shover and interviews are over, you
Speaker 3: were able to look at it, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Look at different Well we it's kind of like you
Speaker 1: and I dating. We end up in rel in different
Speaker 1: situations now where it's not all about them, you know,
Speaker 1: the spotlight's not one hundred percent on them, and it's reciprocal,
Speaker 1: and the relationship becomes a little bit more even because
Speaker 1: my job as host is to take care of you,
Speaker 1: what's going on with you, And it's one hundred percent
Speaker 1: about you.
Speaker 2: By the way.
Speaker 3: That was why and that is why you're such a
Speaker 3: great host, is because you know that you were. I'm
Speaker 3: justuting you, but I'm always proud of your skill. You
Speaker 3: make it look easy, but you made it about the person.
Speaker 3: You made it about you know, your interviewing them and
Speaker 3: it's their story, and not every host does that. And
Speaker 3: it's one of the things that first attracted me to
Speaker 3: you is how you foster relationships with people like You've
Speaker 3: maintained and built and grown friendships with all these people
Speaker 3: from the show for more than twenty years. And I
Speaker 3: don't know another host. I literally can't name another host
Speaker 3: who's who created this phone tree of a family, of
Speaker 3: a world of friends like you did from the show.
Speaker 3: And it's very real. And the way that you, I
Speaker 3: mean you were just when we were at Edgewood, You're
Speaker 3: texting with Ben and Wells and they're telling you like
Speaker 3: good job, like great, great shot, buddy.
Speaker 1: One of the sweetest moments, like day one, after I
Speaker 1: got done with Edgwood, one of the first calls I
Speaker 1: got was from Ben. He had been watching and he's
Speaker 1: like he knew I didn't have a great day. I
Speaker 1: didn't have a horrible day. But he's like, hey man,
Speaker 1: how are you feeling? Just being in the positive number?
Speaker 1: Like we had this long talk and it would be
Speaker 1: a good life coach.
Speaker 2: She's just very positive.
Speaker 1: Came back in the room, You're like, who was that.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was talking to Bend. It was
Speaker 1: He's just that suite of a guy. By the way,
Speaker 1: we kind of skipped over something. Kudos and congratulations and
Speaker 1: blessings to Ashley and Jared just had their baby boy.
Speaker 2: Hayden Cruz. What a cutie, What a cute name.
Speaker 3: I well, they texted us and you instantly said love
Speaker 3: that name. And I instantly said, guys, is that for
Speaker 3: Hayden Christensen and Tom Cruise. There's such movie buffs and
Speaker 3: what a cutie, what a great head of hair.
Speaker 2: I just love that. I felt so touched that. Then
Speaker 2: I just adore them both so much.
Speaker 3: Ashley, I was one of the first women who I
Speaker 3: really like interviewed and connected with from the show, and
Speaker 3: I've just she and I once had a we got
Speaker 3: together and we grabbed dinner and we were both like
Speaker 3: talking about being single, and it just makes me so
Speaker 3: happy where we both are now, and they're just one
Speaker 3: of the best love stories.
Speaker 1: There was a word for most evolved. Its changed, Ashley.
Speaker 3: And like a love story that I don't think anyone
Speaker 3: thought not, but it was like, oh my god, they
Speaker 3: really did this ever happened?
Speaker 1: And then it did. It happened, and then it turned
Speaker 1: out to be so beautiful and they just had their
Speaker 1: everybody's healthy little baby, Hayden Ashley doing great. I assumed
Speaker 1: you're assume great, but congratulations. We send them all our love.
Speaker 1: That is that was such awesome news this week.
Speaker 3: By the way, I think it's I just realized because
Speaker 3: I was thinking about you in the Ages of the Bachelor's.
Speaker 3: That really speaks to how the leads got younger over
Speaker 3: the years, doesn't it. Because when you first started, you
Speaker 3: were what thirty, yes, and you were the age of
Speaker 3: the Bachelor's and then some of them were older than you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I just had my son and then Taylor
Speaker 1: was born two years into.
Speaker 3: It, right, But I'm just talking about your age and
Speaker 3: like their age, and then over time, so really, from
Speaker 3: the onset of the show, the lead was thirty year
Speaker 3: older and then over time it became like twelve, the
Speaker 3: lead is twenty three, the lead is twenty four. That
Speaker 3: it's a big difference I still over over time. I
Speaker 3: actually think that's one of my like still critiques of
Speaker 3: the show. It wasn't I was covering it and it
Speaker 3: is now. I think it's more grounded and powerful when
Speaker 3: the lead is early thirties.
Speaker 1: Casting definitely struggled with access to successful people who you know.
Speaker 2: Just stopped who oh, who would like have coming out
Speaker 2: of their career.
Speaker 1: The days are undying a Bob Guiney or a Andrew
Speaker 1: Firestone or someone like you know, we're you know, looking
Speaker 1: for those diamonds in the rough. That hugely successful thirty
Speaker 1: something was just harder to get or I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe they just stopped trying and they're like, great, let's
Speaker 1: get a teenager.
Speaker 3: Well, younger people have a little more big emotional swings.
Speaker 3: I'll stick with show stuff, Ernie said Chris. What was
Speaker 3: one moment while filming The Bachelor the Bachelorette that looking
Speaker 3: back still makes you absolutely cringe.
Speaker 1: There's two moments. One was on a show called Bachelor
Speaker 1: Pad and it was a short lived game show where
Speaker 1: paradise came out of this but for a year or two,
Speaker 1: we did Bachelor Pad and it was so cheap. We
Speaker 1: shot it literally in the driveway of the mansion you
Speaker 1: would they lived in the mansion, and then the challenges
Speaker 1: were outside on the driveway in the summer one hundred
Speaker 1: and fifty degree heat. It was hilarious how cheap the
Speaker 1: show was done. But that was the start of it.
Speaker 1: That's how it shows start, which is also fun. That's
Speaker 1: the you know, creative part of TV is when you're
Speaker 1: starting a cush Yeah.
Speaker 3: One thing I learned from working at a startup where
Speaker 3: I was at before ET was like our CEO taught
Speaker 3: me and was so smart about don't spend money when
Speaker 3: you don't have it yet, like start, make the product great,
Speaker 3: make the idea great, like make it a success basically,
Speaker 3: and then the money will follow and you can polish
Speaker 3: it up then.
Speaker 1: And at the time, the summer show concept was a leap.
Speaker 1: It was you know, in the middle of the summer,
Speaker 1: and that's when that is the death of TV. The
Speaker 1: network was just like, look, just can you make something
Speaker 1: that will lead into the fall schedule to try and
Speaker 1: promote the fall schedule and just kind of using us
Speaker 1: as a jumping off point and so we created this
Speaker 1: bachelor pad and it was a quarter of a million
Speaker 1: dollars on the line in this prisoner's dilemma. But back
Speaker 1: to the cringe moment. I lived about six miles from
Speaker 1: the mansion, a very short drive. It just happened to
Speaker 1: be that way. I had nothing to do with the mansion.
Speaker 1: They they chose that in a gore hills. They say, Malibu,
Speaker 1: it's a gore Hills. I lived in Westlake Village, six
Speaker 1: miles away. So when I was there all day, especially
Speaker 1: Bacher Pad, we'd be on set and oftentimes for the
Speaker 1: bacher or bacherette, the kids would come over, and so
Speaker 1: they came. I knew they were coming that day during
Speaker 1: this challenge in the driveway, the challenge was how long
Speaker 1: can you hold your significant other? But it was a
Speaker 1: literal challenge, how long could you hold them? We stripped
Speaker 1: everybody down into their either their skivvies, bikini.
Speaker 2: Do you mean hold like hug or hold up in
Speaker 2: the air well.
Speaker 1: That was the whole thing. Sorry to have it to hold,
Speaker 1: you know, you know how we did the play on
Speaker 1: words to have it to hold, but you had to
Speaker 1: actually hold them. We put them up in a harness
Speaker 1: hoisted them above the driveway about ten feet in the
Speaker 1: air over matts, and you had to hold your significant
Speaker 1: other as long as you possibly could. Okay, so imagine
Speaker 1: everybody shirtless, sweaty in there, you know, the guys in
Speaker 1: their trunks, ladies in bikinis, and how you would hold
Speaker 1: somebody to stay aloft. You would straddle them and hold
Speaker 1: on with all your might. So this is happening. We're
Speaker 1: a few minutes into this challenge, and you're seeing a
Speaker 1: lot of cracks and crevices and things.
Speaker 2: Oh in the air and their underwear.
Speaker 1: And I look back is I'm watching this, and I
Speaker 1: see my children who were young at the time, young Joshua,
Speaker 1: young Taylor, with eyes wide, and I'm thinking, man, this
Speaker 1: is going to cost me a lot in therapy. Later
Speaker 1: they were just like Dad, what because you know, you
Speaker 1: think about, you know, take dad to work or take
Speaker 1: the kids to work, and it's like, you're at the
Speaker 1: accounting firm, you're a teacher, you're a scientist, you're a doctor.
Speaker 3: Job.
Speaker 1: What does dad do for a living that he's announcing
Speaker 1: doing play by play for this?
Speaker 3: Now, that would be like if your dad was a
Speaker 3: doctor and you went to work and you walked in
Speaker 3: on him like exam some.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly with this, you know, doing a rectal exam.
Speaker 2: This is the worst part of that shit. We just
Speaker 2: walked it out.
Speaker 1: So that was a moment where it just I just
Speaker 1: laughed for I'm like, oh man, how do I even
Speaker 1: explain this to my kids. The other one was the
Speaker 1: Jake Pavelka Vienna interview late at night when it just
Speaker 1: got so awkward and it just dissolved. That was like
Speaker 1: a real cringe moment.
Speaker 2: What were you feeling in that moment?
Speaker 1: Oh? It was. It was the Perfect Storm? Do you
Speaker 1: guys know that that movie The Perfect Storm of George
Speaker 1: Coloni and Mark Wehlberg on the boat where they they're
Speaker 1: about to die and then all of a sudden they
Speaker 1: made it, and the caes are calm and they're excited
Speaker 1: and exuberant because they didn't make it. They're in the
Speaker 1: eye of the storm and they realized, oh no, we're
Speaker 1: just in the eye of the storm. We're about to
Speaker 1: go through the worst of it. That was the interview.
Speaker 1: I thought I had come to this amicable agreement and
Speaker 1: we made it out where hey, I'll take credit for
Speaker 1: my part, you take credit for your part. Okay, bygones,
Speaker 1: let's move on. That's what the whole interview is supposed
Speaker 1: to be. Then I realized we were just in the
Speaker 1: eye of the hurricane and the rest of it hit
Speaker 1: and it just melted down and it got really bad,
Speaker 1: and so and she stormed off and was crying and
Speaker 1: I had to chase her down, and Jake was it
Speaker 1: was really bad. That was a cringe moment.
Speaker 3: Well, like. And the thing is, I think a lot
Speaker 3: of people don't know this about you. You don't love
Speaker 3: like uncomfortable situations.
Speaker 1: I do, and I don't when it comes to television.
Speaker 2: I mean I would feel differently on TV.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I realized, because I will lean into him like
Speaker 1: I i in my life. Oddly I don't. But the
Speaker 1: thing with this one was we probably weren't even going
Speaker 1: to air this. We'd been shooting all night and then
Speaker 1: we brought them in. It was like two in the
Speaker 1: morning or something. And I remember driving home and again,
Speaker 1: I'm only like five ten minutes from the mansion. I'm
Speaker 1: driving home and I got a call from an executive.
Speaker 1: It's like, tell me what happened. I'm like, what do
Speaker 1: you mean, what happened? Why are you calling me? At
Speaker 1: two thirty in the morning and he said, you know,
Speaker 1: was there any hint of physicality or physical altercation? I
Speaker 1: was like, Lord, no, God no, and he's like, okay,
Speaker 1: we got a call that Jake got aggressive, and I said, well,
Speaker 1: there was yelling, it got very contentious, but in no
Speaker 1: way was there anything physical at all. Like I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have stood for it, Big PAULI was right there, you know,
Speaker 1: there's no way he would have stood for it. There's
Speaker 1: no way. But word got out, and I don't know
Speaker 1: who leaked it, who leaked it on purpose, but we
Speaker 1: ended up having to show the interview we were never
Speaker 1: going to show because we had then had to prove
Speaker 1: that that didn't happen. It was ugly, but that didn't wait.
Speaker 2: You were never going to show that interview.
Speaker 1: No, because the whole point of the interview was to
Speaker 1: try and just amicably in this, like, hey, let's just
Speaker 1: show that this wasn't as bad as it is. And
Speaker 1: then it dissolved and we're like I walked into the
Speaker 1: control room and one of the producers said to me, like,
Speaker 1: we're probably not even going to air this, Like it
Speaker 1: didn't go like we wanted it to. It just wasn't
Speaker 1: what they were looking for. They were looking for a
Speaker 1: resolution not But didn't.
Speaker 3: That become And forgive me because I actually wasn't watching
Speaker 3: the show at this time. I've seen like little clips
Speaker 3: of this over the years. Didn't that become one of
Speaker 3: the most stand out, dramatic wild moments in the show's
Speaker 3: history And it became one.
Speaker 1: Of my most iconic quotes where they were yelling about
Speaker 1: the dogs and I finally just said, nobody cares about
Speaker 1: the dog, Like, no, the point was nobody, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: when people are fighting about something, they that's not at
Speaker 1: all what they're fighting about. They were fighting about this
Speaker 1: dog or something, and I just remember going, guys, this
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with the dog. Let's get to
Speaker 1: what we're really fighting about.
Speaker 2: But why on earth would they not air that?
Speaker 1: Back then? It was you know, we were really specific
Speaker 1: about what they were looking for, and that just I
Speaker 1: guess it wasn't it. And then, of course I think
Speaker 1: one of the producers, one of the executive producers, probably
Speaker 1: knew this was gold.
Speaker 2: Do you think that changed the trajectory of the show,
Speaker 2: like what types of stuff you want? You went for?
Speaker 2: Started airing after.
Speaker 1: That, probably because you know, I think, you know, the
Speaker 1: Jason Mesnik moment with Molly Melissa definitely changed the trajectory.
Speaker 1: After that was before and then there was the you
Speaker 1: know that moment with Jake where where you know, Jake
Speaker 1: was very beloved as about I did very well, and
Speaker 1: then to kind of show him maybe as a villain.
Speaker 1: You know, we we would net we usually protected our
Speaker 1: the franchise star, whoever the Bachelor bacherette was would always
Speaker 1: be protected. And then it really came to a head
Speaker 1: with one Pablo. That was when producers said, the gloves
Speaker 1: are off. If he's going to go this direction, we're
Speaker 1: not going to protect him by protected.
Speaker 3: Do you mean like you didn't show the reality maybe
Speaker 3: if maybe if the personality, like maybe.
Speaker 1: If somebody said something uh inappropriate, maybe made a gaff
Speaker 1: on a date, maybe said something dumb, maybe did something dumb,
Speaker 1: maybe you wouldn't show that, like maybe if they drank
Speaker 1: too much on a date, and.
Speaker 2: Say, because your lead needs to be desirable, yeah.
Speaker 1: Like the that's the whole premise, especially early on, was
Speaker 1: to make it more filtered and more glossy. You know
Speaker 1: this you have this hero and this Ken doll figure
Speaker 1: or this Barbie doll figure keep that illusion alive.
Speaker 3: Well, And was there also an element of I feel
Speaker 3: like I'm feeling like when I used to interview you
Speaker 3: for the show. Was there also an element of if
Speaker 3: you like threw your lead under the bus, then they're
Speaker 3: going to turn on you. And you needed them, You
Speaker 3: needed to be on the sun page.
Speaker 1: So I told them, yeah, because once you turned on them,
Speaker 1: you know again. But usually when you would turn on
Speaker 1: them would be it.
Speaker 2: And I don't really by the way, I don't even
Speaker 2: really mean throw them under the bus. I mean, right, didn't.
Speaker 1: Show exactly who they are?
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean it's Look, it's that hard.
Speaker 1: Thing too, because nobody's nobody. Look, nobody's perfect, none of us.
Speaker 1: So if you tape us twenty four to seven, none
Speaker 1: of our interviews are always going to go well whatever.
Speaker 1: But here's the exactly Here's what also evolved was you
Speaker 1: the viewer, and it got to the point where you
Speaker 1: couldn't hide those things. Social media, the lady started to
Speaker 1: speak out. Everybody had a platform, and so you couldn't
Speaker 1: you know, I hate to say lie, but you couldn't
Speaker 1: fabricate things as well as you produce them over Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it was a lot harder to gloss over anything
Speaker 1: because you all demanded it. You all became so much
Speaker 1: smarter as viewers. And that is where I think reality
Speaker 1: TV gets in trouble is those that still try to
Speaker 1: do it the old fashioned way. You can't. You have
Speaker 1: to be a lot more forthright and honest in your
Speaker 1: producing and in what you're showing. A lot of things
Speaker 1: evolved to lead to that. Social media was a big
Speaker 1: part of it. Carol says, what's the status of Merrit Street?
Speaker 1: You never talk about it. I'll start with number one, Carol,
Speaker 1: thank you for the question. Merritt Street is great, it's stronger, growing,
Speaker 1: it is phenomenal. But two things. One Lauren and I
Speaker 1: this is one thing we really never even discussed, but
Speaker 1: we both believe in this work in the dark. Celebrate
Speaker 1: in the light. We like to work and below the level,
Speaker 1: the surface level, get all the stuff done, and then
Speaker 1: when it debuts then you can, you know, everyone can
Speaker 1: rejoice in it and enjoy it. Right now, we're in
Speaker 1: the doldrums of summer. To be quite honest, the student
Speaker 1: was dark. I mean, I know they're still doing news
Speaker 1: at Mayor Street daily, but like doctor Phil is dark,
Speaker 1: everybody is kind of out of town everything in Hollywood,
Speaker 1: but the extension of Hollywood is Texas and everywhere else
Speaker 1: in production is pretty quiet right now, as are LZ
Speaker 1: and I. We've been on our vacations and doing our stuff,
Speaker 1: so we're getting back to it in earnest very quickly.
Speaker 1: But honestly, we've had a little we've all enjoyed a
Speaker 1: little summer Vaca. But everything's going great at Mayor. They've
Speaker 1: had a good year. I mean, obviously the launch of
Speaker 1: a network is daunting, but the show that we're creating
Speaker 1: and working on with doctor Phil and I've been appearing
Speaker 1: with him, and more shows will be airing soon. We'll
Speaker 1: all be coming up.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get emotional and advicey with this next question.
Speaker 3: This is such a great question from Jacqueline. How did
Speaker 3: you know it was time to get a divorce? I
Speaker 3: am struggling with that right now.
Speaker 1: I was just going to ask you this question. I
Speaker 1: was just looking at the questions and I thought this
Speaker 1: would be a great one for both of us. But
Speaker 1: I would like you to start so, because you're so
Speaker 1: good at this. I know.
Speaker 3: That this is a sort of a simple gauge, but
Speaker 3: I've given this advice to people before. No marriage ends
Speaker 3: in one moment, Like, you know, I don't know, even
Speaker 3: if you find out something about someone or whatever, you
Speaker 3: find out they lied to you, like you have to
Speaker 3: break that down, you have to work through it.
Speaker 2: You have to be ready.
Speaker 3: But a simple gauge for me looking back was I
Speaker 3: would pull into the driveway and not really want to
Speaker 3: go in the house. I think I knew, like I
Speaker 3: just knew walking in would be conflict, me feeling like
Speaker 3: I had to take care of a lot of things,
Speaker 3: a lot of weight, And that was kind of a
Speaker 3: striking moment for me of you know, relationships shouldn't be
Speaker 3: like this, and there's a lot of factors that went
Speaker 3: into it. You know, it's never just one person's I mean,
Speaker 3: it's rarely just one person's fault.
Speaker 1: But like.
Speaker 3: I also think, ultimately, I don't know, divorce gets such
Speaker 3: a bad rap. And I find that when people are
Speaker 3: asking me this question, it's because they feel that it's
Speaker 3: negative and that it's bad. And I don't think divorce
Speaker 3: is bad. I think it can be sad, but I
Speaker 3: know a lot of people who are really grateful they
Speaker 3: got divorced. You know, relationships end for a reason, and
Speaker 3: I think it's helpful to shift your mindset from like
Speaker 3: you haven't failed, you haven't done anything wrong, like this
Speaker 3: isn't working and it's going to be better for both
Speaker 3: of you to potentially move forward. Now that being said,
Speaker 3: like I'm simplifying it, divorce isn't always the answer. Sometimes
Speaker 3: you can work through things. But that's my simple answer.
Speaker 3: I pulled in the driveway and I didn't want to
Speaker 3: go in the house very deep one.
Speaker 1: Like there's a lot of layers to that, you know.
Speaker 1: I remember when I was thinking about changing agents early on,
Speaker 1: and my uncle as a lawyer, and I didn't have
Speaker 1: a lawyer at the time, and I needed some help
Speaker 1: looking at this contract and I asked his advice, and
Speaker 1: he says, Chris, think of this moment, like relationships, you
Speaker 1: don't want to just hop in and out of a
Speaker 1: bunch of them. And that would be the first thing
Speaker 1: I would say, is, look, we don't want to use divorce,
Speaker 1: go through them like M and M's and you know,
Speaker 1: treat it like it's this revolving door and every time,
Speaker 1: you know, the road gets tough, you bail. But with
Speaker 1: that said, my mom had this great line and I'll
Speaker 1: never forget it. When you can no longer affect change,
Speaker 1: it's time to leave. And I think that's really valuable
Speaker 1: in a relationship. Fight the good fight. Try, whether it's therapy, communication,
Speaker 1: whatever it is that's ailing you and your loved one,
Speaker 1: fight that fight, and you know, because I also believe
Speaker 1: that you know when every stone has been turned over
Speaker 1: and you've tried, then you can leave with your head
Speaker 1: held high that you did that. But when you get
Speaker 1: to the point where you can no longer affect change,
Speaker 1: and it's you can no longer achieve happiness for either
Speaker 1: one of you, and it's quite to the opposite and
Speaker 1: the detriment of both of you physically, mentally and emotionally,
Speaker 1: then it's not only okay. I think it's important to
Speaker 1: move on. I had kids when I got divorced, and
Speaker 1: I feared the worst that I was going to harm them.
Speaker 1: I didn't. Nobody wants their kids to be a product
Speaker 1: of divorce.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 1: Now my kids are, but at the same time, I
Speaker 1: think that they are healthier. They are now seeing their
Speaker 1: dad madly in love with an amazing relationship. Their mom
Speaker 1: has gone on and gotten remarried. She's in a wonderful relationship.
Speaker 1: I think it's more powerful and important that they have
Speaker 1: seen their parents grow as human beings, remain friends, remain
Speaker 1: co parents, find love. And they were at my ex
Speaker 1: wife's wedding to her new husband, they were at our wedding,
Speaker 1: So they're very much a part of this love story
Speaker 1: and they've seen that love can still exist and that
Speaker 1: you can still find that. So I think those messages
Speaker 1: are just as important.
Speaker 3: I think we all think a lot about like we
Speaker 3: worry about what we'll be losing and the thing is,
Speaker 3: or we think like like you just said, well, they're
Speaker 3: going to be a product of divorce now, and you're thinking, well,
Speaker 3: you'd want them to be in a married home, and sure,
Speaker 3: but like that's thinking about this fantasy of a path, right,
Speaker 3: it's not the reality, And you can shift your mind
Speaker 3: and think about the other option, the other potential fantasy,
Speaker 3: you finding new love, your kids seeing you in new love.
Speaker 3: I think there's power in kids seeing that you know
Speaker 3: their parents have gone through struggle and overcome, Like that
Speaker 3: helps them know I'm going to go through tough things,
Speaker 3: but I'll be okay. And so we kind of have
Speaker 3: to think about what could be the positives in this
Speaker 3: outcome too. Like I said, I don't think divorce is bad.
Speaker 3: I think it's hard. I think it's sad. I think
Speaker 3: it's challenging. But uh, but it can be ultimately really
Speaker 3: good and it helps to shift that mindset. And I
Speaker 3: think you're so right. I just want to go back
Speaker 3: a little bit on what I said, because, as I
Speaker 3: said my comment, there was a simple gauge. I pulled
Speaker 3: up in the driveway and I didn't want to go
Speaker 3: in the house. That didn't just happen one time. That
Speaker 3: happened many times. You know, it wasn't like the one
Speaker 3: time it happened. I said, I don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you.
Speaker 3: Want you do want to know I did all I
Speaker 3: could here? You want to put in enough effort like
Speaker 3: try and say I've done all I can. And it
Speaker 3: helps to know that before you walk away. And to
Speaker 3: your point about your mom's quote, I think that's so
Speaker 3: smart in that to me, the biggest barometer in almost
Speaker 3: any relationship isn't people making mistakes. It isn't them being flawed.
Speaker 3: It isn't can I deal with their personality or do
Speaker 3: they do too many things wrong? It's effort. Do they
Speaker 3: make effort to grow, to change, to be better. If
Speaker 3: you're with someone who isn't making effort and hasn't made
Speaker 3: effort in a long time, what are you doing there?
Speaker 3: Because we only get one life, and if someone won't
Speaker 3: try for you, I think that's the most painful thing
Speaker 3: in a relationship, is feeling like this person isn't trying
Speaker 3: for me.
Speaker 1: I think to that point. Talking about divorce, yes, it
Speaker 1: has a negative connotation, but I think it's funny. People say, oh,
Speaker 1: it's easy to quit, it's easy to leave. I think
Speaker 1: it's easier to stay. I would say this thought of, oh,
Speaker 1: starting over is so hard. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: single in my thirties, in my forties, in my fifties,
Speaker 1: and my life is too long and equally too short
Speaker 1: to not find real love, real friendship, real companion, to
Speaker 1: find what Elsie was just talking about, someone who actually
Speaker 1: supports you and empowers you and wants to be there
Speaker 1: for you. The thought of, oh, you know, our finances
Speaker 1: are so intertwined, it would be so hard to kind
Speaker 1: of unwind all this and oh there's this and the
Speaker 1: parents and stop that stuff will take care of itself.
Speaker 1: I know it seems daunting, and it seems like such
Speaker 1: a big wave coming at you. But when you deal
Speaker 1: with things, any any big thing like this in life,
Speaker 1: when you deal with it one bite at a time,
Speaker 1: you will get there. And so again I'm not saying
Speaker 1: this to encourage you, but don't let that be the
Speaker 1: reason you stay, just because the fear of dating and
Speaker 1: starting over and all that, I would say, don't let
Speaker 1: that hinder you.
Speaker 2: I liked where we went today.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a little silly, a little looking back at the past,
Speaker 3: a little looking into the future, a little deep.
Speaker 1: That's why I like Q and A because you never know,
Speaker 1: like what topics will take us where uh, And it's
Speaker 1: fun to kind of you know what it does. It
Speaker 1: kind of opens up a little lane of communication for
Speaker 1: you and I.
Speaker 2: That's so true.
Speaker 3: Selfishly, thank you guys for being our therapists, or at
Speaker 3: least the uh.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: It's like you're you're posing the questions a therapists would pose,
Speaker 3: and then here we are. We appreciate you all, We
Speaker 3: love you all so much, and wherever you're at on
Speaker 3: your journey, know that we are wishing you the very
Speaker 3: best and we love your questions.
Speaker 2: Please keep sending them in to us because we'll see
Speaker 2: you next time.
Speaker 1: Because we have a lot more to talk about. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening. Follow us on Instagram at the most Dramatic
Speaker 1: pod ever, and make sure to write us a review
Speaker 1: and leave us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.