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Speaker 1: Oh my god, welcome, we are back.

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Speaker 2: I know I love doing that to you. Sorry it's

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Speaker 2: too much, I am too much, but this is adulting.

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Speaker 2: We finally crawled back.

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Speaker 3: You guys, adulting is motherfucking back.

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Speaker 1: Excu use me.

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Speaker 3: You know who's got good tastes?

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Speaker 4: Exactly right, media, because they picked us up where we

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Speaker 4: left off and you're like, you you okay.

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Speaker 3: They looked at us like we were Courtney Cocks with our.

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Speaker 4: Real taste and a Bruce Brisky concert in the eighties,

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Speaker 4: and we're like, yes, we're gonna We're doing the dances

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Speaker 4: and the mom Jesus, let's go.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I can't believe that I'm actually sharing the

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Speaker 2: space with you.

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Speaker 1: This is amazing.

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Speaker 4: I know I'm supposed to say that too. I should

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Speaker 4: have worn a better deodoran.

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Speaker 2: I had no idea that I can't smell a d

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Speaker 2: that's always a sublime odorer. Fris emanation, Michelle Dutee, you.

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Speaker 1: Sound like a serial killer.

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Speaker 3: Someone get the knife. Listen.

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Speaker 1: It's adulting, honey, and we're black.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to adulting. Michelle Buteau is with me. I am

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Speaker 2: her co from Go Jordan Carlos. Just in case you

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Speaker 2: need the refresher or you're new to the show, we

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Speaker 2: are here to walk you through all things adulting, work, play, family, dating, sex, air,

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Speaker 2: and everything in between.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's so fun.

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Speaker 4: Plus we answer all of your pressing questions about adulting.

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Speaker 4: And along the way, we're inviting comedians and friends of

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Speaker 4: ours to help.

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Speaker 2: And we are so excited to talk to our friend,

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Speaker 2: Irish comedian writer extraordinaire.

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Speaker 1: Maybe Higgins today. That's right, honey, But first Jordan, let's

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Speaker 1: chat it.

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Speaker 3: Up and catch it up.

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Speaker 1: I love this show.

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Speaker 4: I love the show so much. It really is like

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Speaker 4: the therapy that I don't want to pay for, you

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Speaker 4: know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, yeah, yeah, you don't want to put well, probably

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Speaker 2: because the premiums are too high.

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Speaker 1: Is that what it is?

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Speaker 4: You know what a good thing therapist is like a

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Speaker 4: good black hairdresser.

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Speaker 1: Like if they're good, they're booked. They don't have time

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Speaker 1: for you. You know what I mean? That's true. I'm

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Speaker 1: just saying, who's going to do your hair? Then? Your

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Speaker 1: friend right on the stoop.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, you know, I feel like black hairdressers

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Speaker 4: should be like essential workers.

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Speaker 1: They are essential workers. They should have gotten vaccinated first,

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Speaker 1: they should have gotten combat pay. Exactly.

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Speaker 4: What was I like banging these pots and pants for okay,

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Speaker 4: some soul locks and sheen.

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Speaker 1: Honey, Yes, it's just not okay. Have you seen your person?

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Speaker 4: I RL Yeah, I offered her an obscene amount of money,

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Speaker 4: like deep twenty twenty to like just help me look

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Speaker 4: like a normal person because I don't know how to

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Speaker 4: do hair.

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Speaker 3: Did you ever cut your own hair?

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Speaker 1: No? No, no, really no.

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Speaker 3: Do you remember the first time you went to get

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Speaker 3: a haircut?

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Speaker 2: Yes, they do. It was in a black neighborhood, so

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Speaker 2: that was scary.

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Speaker 4: Wait, so you grew up in a white neighborhood. Yes,

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Speaker 4: the Beverly Hills of Dallas.

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Speaker 1: Let everyone know, Okay, let everyone know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh no, we were Beverly Hills of day Alice adjacent.

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Speaker 2: We were like adjacent because you if you were black,

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Speaker 2: you couldn't live in the neighborhood.

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Speaker 1: But it's like we're like, we're a neighborhood over.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 2: So the Baldwin Hills, the Baldwin Hills, absolutely, yes, the

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Speaker 2: Balden Hill out of how in Baldwin Hills.

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Speaker 3: Of course you do.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, The point is, yes, I remember my first haircut.

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Speaker 2: I was because we were going from half ros and

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Speaker 2: afros to fades. So it's like my mom was like,

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Speaker 2: we got to get you a fad. So we went

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Speaker 2: to went to the barbershop.

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Speaker 1: Grand Mom was like, we gotta get you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Miss Hazel, the one and only said we gotta

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Speaker 4: get you.

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Speaker 1: Yes. So did your older brother have a faide and

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Speaker 1: you were like, that's what I want.

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Speaker 2: No, she just decided at once that we needed we

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Speaker 2: both needed fades. She saw the wind, you know, in

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Speaker 2: the wind she she was. I remember seeing old photos

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Speaker 2: of her with like leaping afros like in nineteen seventy,

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Speaker 2: like no, no, no, you know, and she knew what again?

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Speaker 1: I mean there were some misses. My mom did get

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Speaker 1: a drawer curl. You know.

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Speaker 3: I had a Jerry curl.

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Speaker 4: My dad had Jerry curl and I had a Jerry

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Speaker 4: curl and I had I will never forget I had

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Speaker 4: a paper route because I want to be I was

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Speaker 4: still a tomboy. But my mom was because my mom

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Speaker 4: is mixed. She was bad at doing hair because she

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Speaker 4: really never had to do her hair, and so you know,

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Speaker 4: Musha was kinky and I wouldn't sit still and she was.

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Speaker 4: It was a lot for her to get through, and

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Speaker 4: so I got a Jerry curl to make it easier.

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Speaker 4: I wanted to run my fingers through my hair like

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Speaker 4: all the white girls I went to school with. I

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Speaker 4: wanted to get like a big old scrunchy and just

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Speaker 4: get like a ponytail on the side of my head

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Speaker 4: and then like have my head hanging to the side

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Speaker 4: and be like it's so heavy. But I just had

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Speaker 4: like the one ponytail that I could not mess up

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Speaker 4: for the whole week. Do not sweat, don't climb that

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Speaker 4: tree unless you know how to get down. Are you

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Speaker 4: saving a cat that's not your cat? To say, bitch,

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Speaker 4: get the fuck down from that tree. So I would

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Speaker 4: sleep like a vampire when I was like in the

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Speaker 4: third grade and be like zozo it. And now that

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Speaker 4: I'm doing Hazel's hair, my daughter's hair, like you know,

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Speaker 4: I have realized a good ass part is how a

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Speaker 4: black mother or mixed mother shows her love, you know,

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Speaker 4: for her child. It's like, yes, we have them dressed,

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Speaker 4: won't have manners. But if you can get that part straight,

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Speaker 4: oh yeah, I love yeah Sheil And it's hard to

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Speaker 4: get apart straight with her because she's.

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Speaker 1: Like a cat. She doesn't want to have her hair

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Speaker 1: done at all.

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Speaker 4: No, no, she is giving me Chris Summer all day long.

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Speaker 4: I had to also go to the black neighborhood because

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Speaker 4: we were in Hamilton Square, which is a suburb of Trenton,

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Speaker 4: So we had to go into.

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Speaker 1: Deep Trenton for me to get my hair done. And

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Speaker 1: it was.

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Speaker 4: It was very It was almost like Joe Clark was

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Speaker 4: like the washboy, mister Clark, mister clot.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why, mister Clark. He told me that

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Speaker 1: he loved me.

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Speaker 2: Why is no one ever near mister Clark always yelling

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Speaker 2: his hallways Joe was.

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Speaker 3: Trying to run to get the doors a lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I love that. And then remember he

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Speaker 2: was like you want to kill yourself.

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Speaker 1: Trenton was the real deal though, I mean.

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Speaker 4: That was that's where that movie takes place.

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Speaker 3: Side Highs.

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Speaker 4: I believe it's got you what they call it, but yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's where I would get my hair done.

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Speaker 1: And at east Side High No, ma'am.

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Speaker 4: But it's you know, I want to take my kids

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Speaker 4: to get their first haircut. Right now, husband's doing Otis's

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Speaker 4: hair because it's the pandemic.

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Speaker 3: Where are we gonna go?

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Speaker 1: I got a guy. You got a guy, gotta.

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Speaker 3: You always gotta guy.

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Speaker 1: I got a hair guy.

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Speaker 2: I got a hair guy for like nix, you're in

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Speaker 2: a different barbough No, but this guy's in Manhattan.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, his his place is right. I mean,

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Speaker 1: can we do a plug.

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Speaker 2: It's called R. It's h a R R. It's it's

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Speaker 2: very cool. It's uh, it's like queer friendly. It is

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Speaker 2: people that are like, it's fantastic right now, stone.

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Speaker 1: One, come on, I love come on, come on.

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Speaker 2: And it's an old timey barbershop, so it's like they

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Speaker 2: would he would absolutely love.

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Speaker 1: Otis in the chair.

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Speaker 2: My guy Ken is fantastic and he gets out the

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Speaker 2: little wedge you know for little boys with the wedge

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Speaker 2: in and Ken himself is mixed, okay, so he's mixed

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Speaker 2: Black and Italian.

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Speaker 1: So he knows that where do the mixed kids go.

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Speaker 1: They go to horror. They go to horror. I love that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, did he misspell hair or that's just really

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Speaker 4: the name of it.

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Speaker 1: I mean it's vexing, but so we do it. You

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Speaker 1: know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: It's it's if you can get over that small hurdle,

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Speaker 2: if you can clear that h A A R.

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Speaker 1: Then you are in for a treat. It is. It's amazing,

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Speaker 1: like kais is going to be like mihall. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I love this list is not the chase I know.

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Speaker 1: I don't My husband does not sound like a nerdy.

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Speaker 4: IPA showroom employee in Sweden. So sorry, he doesn't have

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Speaker 4: any like extra Lincoln Berry sauce for that ass.

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Speaker 1: What is wrong with you? This is not your audition

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Speaker 1: for snel.

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Speaker 3: Okay, you better take that shit to Pete Davis.

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Speaker 2: They sorry, I take it back. Let's not even get start.

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Speaker 2: He's going to space.

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Speaker 3: I heard that.

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Speaker 4: I mean kim Ks plus and Space. Where has the

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Speaker 4: boy not been?

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Speaker 3: Can he do it?

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Speaker 4: He's got a rough for president at this point, not

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Speaker 4: of the United States but something. I really was trying

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Speaker 4: to talk about getting your first haircut, but this is

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Speaker 4: way more imitatable.

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Speaker 1: I want to hear.

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Speaker 2: I want to hear like, first of all, I want

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Speaker 2: to hear about getting your first Jerry curl though, like

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Speaker 2: the drip drip chemicals, the.

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Speaker 4: Drip drip chemicals, all the pillowcases were ruined, all everything

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Speaker 4: on the couch was ruined.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 4: I couldn't even like put my hand through my hair

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Speaker 4: because it was just like a mess. And if you

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Speaker 4: all don't know what a Jerry curl is, it's basically

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Speaker 4: a relaxer for your hair to make it wavy. And

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Speaker 4: then you you you had to poor chemical gel, very

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Speaker 4: thick gel on it. Yes, the stuff that you would

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Speaker 4: find in between like your home chef box, like in

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Speaker 4: the packaging like that is like the thick ooey ooey

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Speaker 4: OOHI you're putting on your head and the build up

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Speaker 4: on your scalp because essentially, your follicles need to breathe

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Speaker 4: and so you know you have to keep them. That's

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Speaker 4: why you have to like scratch your hair when you

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Speaker 4: like wash it and stuff and keep shampoo on there

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Speaker 4: for like five minutes before you everyone wants to keep

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Speaker 4: the conditioner on, You're and keep the shampoo Onka, no one,

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Speaker 4: this is the shit you learned. Also, being in a

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Speaker 4: hair chairs taught me so much about being in a

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Speaker 4: relationship because go on, you have to be patient, right,

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Speaker 4: You can't backseat drive and assume what someone's gonna do.

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Speaker 4: You have to wait to see what they've done, their

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Speaker 4: finished product. Appreciate what they've done, right, like say something

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Speaker 4: nice before constructive, okay, And so that has helped me

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Speaker 4: a lot, sitting in a lot of hair chairs, because

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Speaker 4: back in the day it was like magical chairs, Like

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Speaker 4: you would get up and then go sit down and dry,

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Speaker 4: and then wait another hour because someone's cousin came in

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Speaker 4: and then go back in and they go out for

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Speaker 4: a smoke break, and it's just like fuck coming back

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Speaker 4: into my.

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Speaker 1: Hair, right, right, right, right right.

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Speaker 2: I mean, were you ever concerned about how flammable Jerry

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Speaker 2: Girl juice was?

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Speaker 3: No? Because I was like fourteen.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So you'd seen Michael Jackson, yes, seen the Pepsi commercial.

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Speaker 3: But he was rich.

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Speaker 1: I was like, stuff like that happens to rich people. Well,

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Speaker 1: like I did not know.

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Speaker 3: I did not know.

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Speaker 1: You weren't worried about it.

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Speaker 2: But finding that right person to do your hair, You're

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Speaker 2: absolutely right, it took me a long time. It's like

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Speaker 2: finding a church home as we stayed outside. It's like

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Speaker 2: finding the right church. It's finding the right person. Yes,

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Speaker 2: it's being able to trust them, and it's like for life.

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Speaker 2: Like my wife has seen the same hairdresser for almost

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Speaker 2: twenty years now.

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Speaker 4: She he talks about this hairdresser all the time.

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Speaker 2: Christoph and I have gone out. We got like we've

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Speaker 2: gone out on mandates. The bond is real, it goes deep.

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Speaker 4: It's a special relationship because it's the person that makes

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Speaker 4: you feel your best self. Absolutely, like anyone that those

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Speaker 4: poor moms that have like eight feet of hair on

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Speaker 4: the Today Show and they turn around in the mirror

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Speaker 4: when they have like a bob and like a rousing,

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Speaker 4: like a Rouge Cobalt dresser, like it's the.

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Speaker 1: Best may have ever seen.

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Speaker 3: It's like you can't leave that person ever.

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Speaker 4: And especially you know with black and mixed hair, your

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Speaker 4: identity is everything and and people definitely judge.

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Speaker 2: You right the fuck away. Yeah, with your hair. I

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Speaker 2: had a barber. I went to summer college in Virginia.

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Speaker 2: They said when I got there, do not go to

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Speaker 2: the barber after one o'clock. He drinks oh shit, ever,

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Speaker 2: and so I went and then he fucked up my hand. No,

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Speaker 2: but a girl still kissed me that summer, okay because

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Speaker 2: she felt sorry for you.

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Speaker 1: Well yeah, and then also, did you have game? No?

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Speaker 1: Maybe like it was your game that you had no guests?

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Speaker 1: I mean, like no, I know it was just a

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Speaker 1: very okay.

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Speaker 4: No, when you turn into a robot I feel like

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Speaker 4: I got a board mission.

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Speaker 1: Well no, yes, no, no, I'm just being earnest and honest.

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Speaker 1: I don't have game.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like I like you, and then it scares

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Speaker 2: people and then that's it. You know.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, fine, you know, that's it.

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Speaker 2: But that summer because it was like I wasn't in

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Speaker 2: my like same environment. I was in virgin you ever

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Speaker 2: like go to camp whatever, and now you're like a

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Speaker 2: whole new person. Yeah, so that happened. Yeah, and like

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Speaker 2: nobody knew anything about me. There was no internet, so

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Speaker 2: I could be like the person that I kind of

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Speaker 2: wanted to be, had no history, and this girl was

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Speaker 2: just like now I like this guy. Bam, I don't

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Speaker 2: care fucked up haircut and everything. Oh and she yeah,

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Speaker 2: she made out with me, and I was like, I

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Speaker 2: was like, I made out with her. I kissed her

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Speaker 2: really rough and passionately, and then she's like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: it's too much, too much. I was like, I guess

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Speaker 2: sometimes I kissed like Harrison Ford.

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Speaker 3: Who said that me? Why did you say that?

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Speaker 2: Because Harrison Ford kisses hard in movies. Watch Harrison Ford

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Speaker 2: kiss people in movies?

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Speaker 3: Which movie are we.

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Speaker 1: Talking regarding Henry.

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00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,920
Speaker 3: Are we regarding Henry the risk cracker is?

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Speaker 2: Are we we're talking about We're talking about fucking Indiana

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Speaker 2: Jones one two three, The tiple of doom. All that,

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Speaker 2: like he he kisses hard, just look at Okay, he

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Speaker 2: creates a suction, but like no tongue, no tongue, just

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Speaker 2: a nice section on the.

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Speaker 1: Face, right, Flockhart, tell me all about it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's he makes like an airlock. And that's what

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Speaker 2: I was doing. And I was like, I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I guess I kissed like Harrison Ford. And

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Speaker 2: she was just like, oh, this is almost over.

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Speaker 4: I love that you got your kissing technique from Harrison

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Speaker 4: Ford and not Born, because you know, these kids are

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Speaker 4: fast and furious with no bin diesel.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I was about to say something about getting your haircut,

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Speaker 4: but never mind.

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Speaker 2: I want to know about like, was your mom present

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Speaker 2: and the first time you had your haircut, did she.

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Speaker 1: Say like do this to her? Do that.

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Speaker 4: She's an anxious person, so she wanted it to look

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Speaker 4: good and flat and straight and manageable.

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Speaker 3: And I love.

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Speaker 1: What I loved about Lauren Hill and the.

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Speaker 4: Fujis was that they were cool. They were woke before

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Speaker 4: we knew.

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Speaker 3: What woke was.

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Speaker 4: They're from New Jersey, They're from Jersey by way of

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Speaker 4: Caribbean ancestry, and they just love the way they look

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Speaker 4: no matter what. And I was like, God, how do

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Speaker 4: I achieve that? I want to be a part of that.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Yeah, a lot of confidence.

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00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's so much in hair, especially if you have

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Speaker 4: a parent that has different hair texture than you. Especially

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Speaker 4: realizing that you know, as a mixed or black woman,

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00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,440
Speaker 4: your hair on your head is at least two to

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Speaker 4: four different textures.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know that shit till like five years ago. Wow.

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Speaker 3: I just thought it was.

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Speaker 1: A problem area you have. Yeah, you have many textures.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's beautiful. No, I mean thank you, No, No, it's beautiful.

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Speaker 2: I love your hair, you know.

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Speaker 3: Oh thank you. Oh.

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Speaker 4: We got some pieces on right now because we just

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Speaker 4: did Radio City Music Hall.

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00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,400
Speaker 3: So this is the Saka, the Chaka Khan hair. Oh,

349
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,120
Speaker 3: this is the Chakra con hair.

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Speaker 1: And that's another thing I learned too, being on TV sets.

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Speaker 4: They will ruin your hair, even if they're black hairdressers,

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Speaker 4: and you try to like speak up for what you

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Speaker 4: want your We're just not meant to do our hair

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00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,280
Speaker 4: all the time. So you know, I always encourage people

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00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,520
Speaker 4: to get pieces or wigs because you got to protect

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Speaker 4: the shit.

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Speaker 1: That you have, Oh for sure.

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Speaker 2: I mean, but that was the first time that I

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Speaker 2: ever learned to speak up for myself.

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00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,760
Speaker 1: Wasn't a barber's trick. So they'd be like, what do

361
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:14,200
Speaker 1: you want to do?

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00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they're like, I'd like a two, you know,

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00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,920
Speaker 2: and it's I got like a like an edge up

364
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,120
Speaker 2: close to the skin. Please nice, you know, and then

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00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,760
Speaker 2: give me like one of these you know, like a

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00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,520
Speaker 2: like a line here, just because it's nineteen ninety seven,

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Speaker 2: and you know, like make me look like notts. Yes,

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00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,720
Speaker 2: nicecause you want to rule the world. Yeah, I mean

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00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:33,960
Speaker 2: I free all my sons.

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00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,000
Speaker 1: I love them too, baby. Yeah, I mean I think

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00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,360
Speaker 1: we can't license, so we can. We cannot, we cannot.

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00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:44,480
Speaker 4: But when you guys have bad haircut because that dude

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Speaker 4: was drunk after one pm, yes, did you say anything

374
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Speaker 4: to him or do you just like walk away and be.

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Speaker 3: Like thank you?

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00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,360
Speaker 2: I skulked out of there, and yeah, it was not cool.

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00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,360
Speaker 2: It was like a small Virginia town. It was like

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Speaker 2: something out of a Wild West movie. And they were

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Speaker 2: just like, goad, damn that Barbara Donn.

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Speaker 1: It's like a shit man. Oh no.

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Speaker 2: But then my friend was like, you know the difference

382
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,120
Speaker 2: between a good haircut and a bad haircut?

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Speaker 1: Right? Oh?

384
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,560
Speaker 2: I was like what he's like five days? So yeah, yeah,

385
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,720
Speaker 2: that's basically it. Okay, Yeah, yeah.

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00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:12,360
Speaker 3: I'm not mad at that.

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00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,400
Speaker 1: And she still made out with me. Am I right, folks, Absolutely,

388
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Speaker 1: you were.

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00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,080
Speaker 4: Such an eighties movie because it always comes down to

390
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:19,600
Speaker 4: the girl.

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00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:20,920
Speaker 1: I'd always comes.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's really funny is and then I'll tell

393
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,560
Speaker 2: you that, I'll tell you the honey hush.

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00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,000
Speaker 1: She was like, she was like, why don't we go

395
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:29,760
Speaker 1: back up to your room?

396
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,760
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, I don't think that's the

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Speaker 2: wisest decision right now.

398
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Speaker 1: So I went back to me.

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Speaker 3: I don't understand what you're saying.

400
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,520
Speaker 2: She wanted to have in you know, she wanted to

401
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:43,480
Speaker 2: celebrate my body.

402
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,680
Speaker 3: She wanted to sit on your dig and you said, no.

403
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,960
Speaker 1: I didn't. I wasn't ready for that much pressure. Oh

404
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,600
Speaker 1: my god, you know I didn't.

405
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,200
Speaker 2: I know I wanted to go to sleep with myself.

406
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 2: Good for you and just have a great story.

407
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 4: This is just everything about you, says I carried a

408
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,800
Speaker 4: watermelon and I'm still here for it.

409
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,720
Speaker 2: Should we move on our I mean we've got to

410
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,520
Speaker 2: move on. Yeah, we're very lucky to have this guest.

411
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 3: Is we're lucky?

412
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I missed her. She's in the room

413
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:28,439
Speaker 1: right now.

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00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:29,080
Speaker 3: Hello.

415
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 1: No, but I'm always we have to give the proper intro.

416
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 3: We got to give her an intro.

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Speaker 1: Writerserves extordinary.

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00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:43,320
Speaker 4: She's a comedian, comedian, super hilarious, a witch, thank you?

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00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:49,400
Speaker 1: Dare I say? A public intellectual that's co host butter Boy.

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00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,720
Speaker 1: Yes she does. Still waiting for the butter Boy to

421
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:52,520
Speaker 1: come out on stage.

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00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:56,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, where's the butter Boy?

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00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:56,520
Speaker 1: Yeah?

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00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:57,800
Speaker 2: Boy?

425
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,040
Speaker 3: He comes sliding it one day we all got the

426
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Speaker 3: shock of our lives.

427
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:04,639
Speaker 1: She's written multiple books recently. She's so smart.

428
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,480
Speaker 2: Her most recent is tell Everyone on This Train I

429
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 2: Love Them, which came out in February of this year.

430
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:11,960
Speaker 1: And do you want me to just read a blurb

431
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 1: about the book? I know? Here we go to the

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00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,560
Speaker 1: Obama accually.

433
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:20,919
Speaker 2: Deeply funny, moving and urgent writing about a country that

434
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,240
Speaker 2: can feel broken into pieces. On the Light that Shines

435
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,679
Speaker 2: through the cracks from Irish comedian Matve Higgins, author of

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Speaker 2: Nave and America.

437
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,159
Speaker 3: My president. Everybody, please welcome.

438
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:39,800
Speaker 1: Dave Higgins drilled save both of you so many questions.

439
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,360
Speaker 1: You were in Ireland for a little bit.

440
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:46,119
Speaker 3: No, yes, actually yeah in twenty twenty. Yeah, I was

441
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,480
Speaker 3: in Texas on a like reporting trip, and I got

442
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 3: so scared because I was down there at like a

443
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,399
Speaker 3: reporting on like a border security event. How was that?

444
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,080
Speaker 3: It was like a government It was the Department of

445
00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:02,000
Speaker 3: Homeland Security, and I was writing about it, and they

446
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,840
Speaker 3: were all acting so casual as the pandemic was spreading,

447
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,040
Speaker 3: Like you remember that month when it was like is

448
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,480
Speaker 3: it will we won't we? And then suddenly the Irish

449
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:15,760
Speaker 3: government canceled Saint Patrick's Day, which has never happened in

450
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,119
Speaker 3: the history of the world. And that to me was

451
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,679
Speaker 3: like a big like a big shamrock in the sky

452
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:25,359
Speaker 3: saying like come home. Meanwhile, the US government, who I

453
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,680
Speaker 3: was like writing about down on the board, they were

454
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 3: like clapping each other on the shoulders and sharing bagels

455
00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 3: at this conference, and I said, I need to get

456
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 3: out of this country.

457
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:35,520
Speaker 1: Yeah.

458
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 3: So I was one of those little rats that abandoned

459
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:38,920
Speaker 3: the ship.

460
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you were You're from Cork, right, Yes, So.

461
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,320
Speaker 3: I went back home to where I'm from, Cove in Ireland,

462
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,960
Speaker 3: and that is where the first immigrant through the gates

463
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 3: of Ellis Island. She also left from my hometown. Wow, yeah,

464
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,240
Speaker 3: the first she was like seventeen and her there's a

465
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,680
Speaker 3: statue of her over on Ellis Island now and that

466
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 3: woman today is May Higgins. She was the comedy show

467
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 3: and go on as for some reason looks like I

468
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:11,439
Speaker 3: love it.

469
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:12,720
Speaker 1: I didn't know that.

470
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's not it's not like there's not

471
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,160
Speaker 3: like many boasts I can say about my hometown. They're

472
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:23,760
Speaker 3: all very sad. Like it was the last place Titanic stop. Hometown.

473
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 1: We stopped there for Leo was.

474
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 3: There, Yeah, I mean I was a before before he

475
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:32,359
Speaker 3: was kicked off that little door, the floating door, and

476
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,640
Speaker 3: Kate Windsor said, I'll stay up here.

477
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 1: Nothing else floating in the water that could There.

478
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:39,439
Speaker 3: Was plenty of room for him too, and he couldn't

479
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 3: leave Rose, but I think she could have just yanked

480
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 3: him up onto the door.

481
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 4: But we didn't, you know, this was like this was

482
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 4: this was like Kate winslet's like to be Yeah, but

483
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 4: you know those couples at restaurants that have to stay

484
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,199
Speaker 4: on the same side of the booth and hold hands.

485
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 1: That was them the frame. It was still so new.

486
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,959
Speaker 1: Yeah you know what I mean.

487
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you think it was like it was like

488
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 3: kind of like feminist of her to not let him.

489
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,879
Speaker 4: I'm not saying that he's a bad feminist.

490
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 1: L Let's ask Roxy and Gang.

491
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,200
Speaker 3: So this is just a.

492
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 4: Very weird general question. Living in New York and from Ireland.

493
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 4: What is the biggest rumor about the Irish people that

494
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 4: everybody has wrong?

495
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,879
Speaker 3: Oh? I think that we're like smiley and friendly because

496
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 3: people don't understand that, like we're so dark and judgmental.

497
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 3: But I think as we come off as so like

498
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,880
Speaker 3: you know, top of the morning, intuia, but really we're

499
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 3: deeply unhappy, you know, and kind.

500
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,400
Speaker 1: Of like mean unhappy and mean.

501
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so.

502
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:47,719
Speaker 1: I've read James Joyce. I get it.

503
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was very unhappy. But he liked farts. He

504
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 2: was way into farts during sex.

505
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean what an intellect think, you know.

506
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 4: I think Matt Damon said it best in that movie

507
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Martin Scorsese was that movie? Yeah, yeah,

508
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 4: Departed where he was like he told for miglia Vermili. Yeah,

509
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,239
Speaker 4: he was like look, I'm Irish American like, oh, if

510
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,640
Speaker 4: you're miserable, I'm miserable. I stay, I don't go anywhere

511
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 4: you like, if you're unhappy, you really actually have to

512
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 4: physically leave because.

513
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, I will say Freud was stumped by the Irish

514
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 2: and he found them inscrutable.

515
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 1: That that is true.

516
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 2: Sigmund Freud was like, I fucking can't this is this

517
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:31,200
Speaker 2: is a true thing.

518
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,359
Speaker 1: You found them inscrutable.

519
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 3: I mean maybe that was just our accents, like maybe

520
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,160
Speaker 3: we were like you have do your shoes or whatever?

521
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 2: He was like, what, but you've lived such an such

522
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 2: an interesting interesting background.

523
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,439
Speaker 1: You you lived in Zimbabwe.

524
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, when I was a child has a child and

525
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 2: then you have like don't you have seven siblings?

526
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 3: Yes? I do.

527
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 1: What do you do? Like is real cute? Oh? We do?

528
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 3: Yeah? We all look very alike. But I mean so

529
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,120
Speaker 3: do your kids. I mean I don't think that's like it. Yeah,

530
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 3: but the on the only child, I'm just like, is

531
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:05,159
Speaker 3: that fun? But my parents also look alike, So.

532
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 4: I think people turn into each other at the end.

533
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 4: Because my parents are both light skinned in from the back.

534
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,479
Speaker 4: I can't tell mom or dad. It's just light skinned

535
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 4: and flat as and I'm like, may whoever.

536
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 3: Just turning around and you still don't know who's there.

537
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 3: I still don't know. Yeah, I think, yeah, definitely mine

538
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 3: are becoming more like as they get older too. Yeah,

539
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 3: it's just probably from spending so much time together. Yeah,

540
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 3: I mean, maybe you and Georgian are going to start

541
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,880
Speaker 3: looking alike because you're like work husband and wife.

542
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,360
Speaker 2: I mean we can probably brother and sister and cousins.

543
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 2: I'd love to be your cousin.

544
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,240
Speaker 3: Come happy with the idea.

545
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's exactly do you see that's family, right,

546
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,399
Speaker 2: It's just like I could think of nothing worse than that. No, ma'am,

547
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,160
Speaker 2: I make you the beneficiary of so many things I own.

548
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 4: Okay, So Zimbabwe and Zimbabwe was the habitat for humanity.

549
00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 1: We love Zimbabwe.

550
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 2: We love it for the dictator, I know, I know

551
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 2: that part.

552
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, we lived in Sa bad Way. And I mean

553
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:06,880
Speaker 3: Robert mcgabby.

554
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 1: Is still is still alive?

555
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 3: Is he still alive? I don't know he's.

556
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 1: Dead now, but his wife is in charge.

557
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 3: Oh.

558
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: I thought Rick James was alive like five years ago.

559
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 3: Because you can't ask me.

560
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 2: That's that's gonna be the name of this episode is.

561
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 3: Another person question, guy, does Yo Gabba do it.

562
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: Dead?

563
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 3: I mean I was there in like nineteen ninety two,

564
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 3: and wow, he was alive then. And like my brother

565
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,359
Speaker 3: who was just a year older than me, he was,

566
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 3: you know, like nine or ten or something. He I

567
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,679
Speaker 3: guess was at a school event and shook Mugaba's hand

568
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 3: and then like so we would always tease my brother

569
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 3: like your friends with a dictator, like your best friends

570
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 3: with Robert mcgaby, like you know, how can you live

571
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 3: with yourself? Oh? But it was because he had to,

572
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 3: like it was like a school thing or and also

573
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,640
Speaker 3: we didn't know like we were the little children we were,

574
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 3: was like, that's the president.

575
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 1: How do you find time to write? Oh, well, because

576
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: you're an epic writer.

577
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:11,399
Speaker 3: I write well, honestly, Michelle. I write just when I

578
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 3: have to, so if I have a deadline or something.

579
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,920
Speaker 3: But I definitely find it hard to sit down and focus.

580
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 3: And I always read about like how do other writers

581
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:23,919
Speaker 3: do it? And like Roald All used to tie himself

582
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 3: to his chair and he did this is like he

583
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,719
Speaker 3: was writing. Well the children's children thought, yeah, he had

584
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,640
Speaker 3: a shed.

585
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 1: He wrote The Witches and Chocolate fact.

586
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:36,919
Speaker 3: I want to see here, I want to see how

587
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,479
Speaker 3: this end. Yeah, please, yeah, I want to see how

588
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 3: this end.

589
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

590
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 3: One that there's nothing more untowards than that I promised,

591
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 3: like he just would he would just tie himself to

592
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,880
Speaker 3: the chair in the morning and like make himself sit there,

593
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 3: not allowed to go to the restaurant, not allowed to

594
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 3: like take it discipline, Yeah, exactly, airplane mode in yeah,

595
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,679
Speaker 3: in like nineteen fifty. Ever here is writing, and so

596
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,439
Speaker 3: I did saying it is something to something to that,

597
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 3: like about making space for yourself. But tons of parents

598
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 3: that I know find it really hard because it just

599
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 3: seems like there's so much pulling on our attention. So

600
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 3: you have to kind of fight for that time. But

601
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 3: deadlines help, and you know, if you're not going to

602
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 3: get paid until you hand it in, you know, practical

603
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 3: stuff like that I think really helps.

604
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 2: And then tell me something because I read a bit

605
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:26,919
Speaker 2: of your book, Thank you.

606
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 1: I'm you almost drowned in South Africa. Your mom helped you.

607
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 2: And then you also feel and I want to get

608
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 2: to this, you feel responsible for your your your little sister.

609
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 3: Oh well, when you're from a big family, which you're.

610
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: Not, right, big American family. It's three three.

611
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 4: Michelle yeah, I'm from a big family, which is why

612
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 4: they decide to have one so I would know who

613
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 4: My parents are so nice to the Caribbean.

614
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 3: And yet you still can tell them apart.

615
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: From you.

616
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,160
Speaker 3: And yeah, I mean I think that when you grow

617
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 3: up as the older one in a big family, so

618
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 3: there's actually eight of us and I'm number three, then

619
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 3: you just kind of are actually responsible for the younger one.

620
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 3: It's not really even a feeling. And like in Ireland

621
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,919
Speaker 3: there's a thing called mammy Ella, which is like Mammy

622
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 3: being mom and Ella meaning other, and like the older

623
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 3: girls in the family are called the mammy ellas, so

624
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,439
Speaker 3: it's like the other mothers. And like you know, obviously

625
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 3: I talk through this with my therapists every week, but

626
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 3: like at the time, it's very normal. Actually, I think

627
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,679
Speaker 3: it's kind of fine anyway. You know. It's just like

628
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 3: you have to look out for these smaller people. You

629
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 3: just have to because like two grown ups are often

630
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 3: is one grown up looking after this whole clutch of children.

631
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,199
Speaker 3: You know, you have to help with their reading, changing

632
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 3: their nappies, doing their food, like everything because it's too

633
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 3: much or they're diapers.

634
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I love that. I love that and then.

635
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 4: Like when you decided to leave and come here and

636
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 4: pursue stand up and her writing career.

637
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,160
Speaker 3: Well, the funny thing is the older three like left

638
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 3: and we scattered around the world. I think maybe it's

639
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:17,919
Speaker 3: because we were so tight at all totally, because it

640
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, my sister immediately she's lived all over

641
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 3: the world and worked all over the world. My brother

642
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,879
Speaker 3: the same, like Mongolia around Africa, and now he's in

643
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 3: the Middle East. And then I didn't do anything as adventurous.

644
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 3: I just went to London and then I came here

645
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 3: because that's where the stand up is, right, Yeah, of

646
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 3: course the stand up that I keep trying to break

647
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 3: into that I keep hearing about.

648
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: You please as well.

649
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 3: Maybe, but I you know, I think the other lucky

650
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 3: thing for me is it's so close, right because like

651
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 3: Ireland's only it's less than a six hour flight away.

652
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: What's dating in Ireland?

653
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 2: Like, I'm guessing, like a lot of good butter and

654
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 2: then going to a nice publis.

655
00:28:58,680 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a kind.

656
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 5: Of bore, like everybody, let's go, let's do it.

657
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I.

658
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: Love Irish butter.

659
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, No I do, I mean, yeah, I think

660
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 3: you do have to be careful that you don't end

661
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 3: up with somebody that you're related to, all the usual.

662
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 3: Like it's a small island, you have to take the precautions.

663
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 3: I think people probably settle down much younger than they

664
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 3: do here in New York, at least. I'm very specifically

665
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 3: talk in New York really, because I guess outside of

666
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 3: New York people do settle down, you know, a bit younger. Yeah,

667
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 3: so just be.

668
00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 2: Careful you're not cousins. That happens a lot in my

669
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 2: mom's home state of Mississippi.

670
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 1: First you have to check if your cousins.

671
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 3: And how did say and your dad? Mate, I'm so curious, Oh.

672
00:29:55,520 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 1: You want to know about my dad. I don't even start.

673
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 3: Thinking about your parents.

674
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 2: Rave Higgins has been torturing me for almost two years.

675
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: Now about my father, about my father is looking? Man?

676
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 3: You posted a picture of your father and it broke

677
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 3: the internet. It was like, that's how I'm have you

678
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 3: ever meet him in person?

679
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 4: I've met him on zoom. I don't think i've met

680
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 4: him on person? My dad in person? My dad has

681
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 4: great looks.

682
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 3: So Hanza, he addresses what and he's you know, so

683
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 3: I just you know, I went through your Instagram found more.

684
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 3: You know what you do when you have a little

685
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 3: silly crush and it's the middle of a plague and

686
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 3: I fell in.

687
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: I didn't think this topic today.

688
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 3: Jordan feels so, you know, he's so immature about you.

689
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 3: He feels so awkward about it because it would be

690
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,480
Speaker 3: it would mean I guess me being his stepmother, and

691
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,520
Speaker 3: he can't be he can't just wake up to modern

692
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 3: things like this happened all the time, Jordan.

693
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 1: This is great content.

694
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 2: Let's turn this into say, okay, maybe it's always being

695
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 2: like here. Since your stepmother texting you, how are you

696
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:11,760
Speaker 2: this morning, I'm like.

697
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 3: Because I care about you, because you're my son.

698
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 2: She's very good, she's very good at crude comedic photoshop,

699
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 2: and so she'll just make photos of her and my

700
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 2: dad together.

701
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 3: When I guess parents like renew renew their vows or

702
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 3: something their vow. So I put my face like on

703
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 3: her mom's body and sent him. I took a lot

704
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 3: of time, actually, Jordan, because I wanted him to get

705
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:43,719
Speaker 3: us the ag of seeing us together.

706
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 1: It was it was just a lot for me. And

707
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 1: it doesn't you know.

708
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 3: The face and body don't match exactly. But I still

709
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 3: think it looks.

710
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 1: You know, and you did the work. The damage had

711
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 1: been done.

712
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 3: And then I find out his father is a doctor.

713
00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 3: And I'm not the first one to have this crush

714
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 3: there because.

715
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 4: Why did we wait so long into this episode figure

716
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 4: out that.

717
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 3: For his stepmom?

718
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 4: Like now I feel bamboosom this text because like.

719
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 3: What was Thanksgiving dinner?

720
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: Like, how come I didn't know? That's the first thing

721
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 1: we should have.

722
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 3: Sat down again because Jordan makes it awkward. All the

723
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 3: grown ups are find about have we seen this picture?

724
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 1: Jordan, I don't have the picture. I don't have it.

725
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 1: Think I don't know. If I don't know what happened

726
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 1: to it.

727
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 2: I'm sure she's put some kind of disappearing ink on

728
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 2: and then it's gone now. But like disappearing is this

729
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,080
Speaker 2: is what it says On the twenty six when she

730
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 2: sent me her lovely book, it said, Hi, Sun, I

731
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 2: hope you're safe and cozy. That's how she begins because.

732
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 3: I'm trying to re establish the back because it's awkward

733
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 3: because we've been friends for so many years. And then

734
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 3: suddenly I'm you know, fucking his dad.

735
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 2: If you could just make sure did your dad get

736
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 2: the vaccine?

737
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 1: Yet just wondering. Oh, Thursday, April first.

738
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 4: My god, uh, I think this is a good time

739
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 4: to get to questions from an audience. We got some

740
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 4: questions from the audience that we would love you to

741
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,239
Speaker 4: help us answer them.

742
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 3: Okay, wonderful. Is it rude to decline being a groomsman? Yeah,

743
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 3: I mean bridesmaids. I guess that you do get in

744
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 3: trouble if you say no. But but maybe men are

745
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:29,240
Speaker 3: a bit better at that.

746
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 1: Okay, about us, I think what I think you find.

747
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 3: It difficult when your father and I regret it. He

748
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 3: did feel convicted, but he did.

749
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 2: It would have been Oh god, it's nice to know

750
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 2: that my dad is desired beyond my mother. And but

751
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:54,239
Speaker 2: I will say to answer the question that that that

752
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 2: question is about, it's not about being a groomsman at

753
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 2: the wedding itself. It's about bachelor parties and the ridiculous

754
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 2: stabauchery that happens at and how people get turned inside

755
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 2: out and you become somebody that you don't want to

756
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 2: be by the end of the weekend. I remember my

757
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 2: one friend's bachelor party in in Montreal.

758
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 1: Basically what happened was by the end of the weekend

759
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: I did not know my friend. We were at a

760
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 1: rest stop.

761
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 2: Strip club right at the outskirts of care like Quebec

762
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 2: and you know, at the Quebec border, because he wanted

763
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 2: one more go, he needed one more go.

764
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 1: What in the sideways is going on? I don't know.

765
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 1: It was because and.

766
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,960
Speaker 3: What was your You were the groomsmen, so you had

767
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 3: to sit by him, Yeah, and like hand to dollars

768
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 3: and stuff.

769
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 2: Loyalty, you know, yeah, loyalty because in Montreal on Putouchet,

770
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 2: one is allowed to touch the strippers. So that was

771
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:56,839
Speaker 2: that was that, And by the end it was just like, dude,

772
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:57,280
Speaker 2: I don't.

773
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:58,760
Speaker 1: Even fucking yeah, it's gross.

774
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I mean and I feel like you really

775
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,720
Speaker 4: see people's true colors at a bachelor, a bachelorette party,

776
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 4: and a buffet. Yeah, just yeah, you're a greedy bitch.

777
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 4: You don't need dude, beef, hancottage cheese your life together.

778
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 1: I thought I fucking knew you un following.

779
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 4: You know, I will say, as someone who had to

780
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:27,840
Speaker 4: pick bridesmaids and godparents, you pick those people for a reason.

781
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 4: You know, everybody adds something in your life. You know

782
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,839
Speaker 4: that you have friends for different reasons. One can make

783
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 4: a very serious moment, light and funny.

784
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 1: Another one is like a good time. Another one might

785
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 1: know you longer and better than everybody else.

786
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 4: So I feel like it should be just a conversation

787
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 4: about responsibility. We shouldn't just get like a book, you know,

788
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 4: saying this is what groomsmen do and this is what

789
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 4: you should pay for the stuff.

790
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,439
Speaker 1: It should be like, it should be a conversation. It's

791
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: about comfort.

792
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, have you ever been a bridesmaid at one of

793
00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:58,720
Speaker 2: your siblings weddings?

794
00:35:59,640 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 1: No?

795
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 3: Actually, because that's and they're married.

796
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 1: Never a brict me.

797
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 3: Oh no, you're wrong, mom.

798
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 1: Never, you're dying to.

799
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:21,720
Speaker 2: Be Oh my god, dress, Oh my god.

800
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 3: I'm like shook and I sing.

801
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 1: Maybe they like small weddings. Maybe that's it. Yeah, maybe

802
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 1: they want to give you. They knew that you were

803
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 1: their mama.

804
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 4: Ella ella ella a a, and they were like, no

805
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:36,800
Speaker 4: more responsibility, sister.

806
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 1: What about the youngest that that's a sister, right, the.

807
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 3: Youngest, Yeah, actually is not married yet, she mice. Okay, yeah,

808
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 3: throw me a pity dress. I guess my aunt's.

809
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 1: Name and I know she's a getting tight. Okay, here's

810
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:04,400
Speaker 1: the next question. How much money stare off in the middle.

811
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:05,720
Speaker 4: Dis No one's making eye contact.

812
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:07,919
Speaker 3: It's a very weird podcast right now.

813
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 4: How much money should you save to move out on

814
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:12,960
Speaker 4: your own in NYC?

815
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 2: Oh?

816
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 3: Goodness? I mean I did my friend text me that

817
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 3: it's two point two million dollars to retire in NYC?

818
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's about right, it's right.

819
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:24,439
Speaker 3: That feels like a year.

820
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 1: Basically. I think that that that is right because yeah, I.

821
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 3: Don't know what age actually you retire.

822
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 1: So that's good.

823
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 2: You say two point two million dollars to retire, Okay,

824
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 2: but this is just moving out onto.

825
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 3: Your own Oh my goodness, sail.

826
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,320
Speaker 1: That down to just getting your own apartment?

827
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:41,439
Speaker 3: Are you tired? Do they really want a number? Because

828
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 3: I would say twenty thousand dollars?

829
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd say that.

830
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 3: That's a good number. Yeah, to be saying where to start?

831
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it really depends what neighborhood and what

832
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,200
Speaker 4: floor you're on, and are you buy a local train

833
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 4: or an express train?

834
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:54,839
Speaker 3: Yeah?

835
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 4: How far do you want to walk from the subway?

836
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,000
Speaker 4: What neighborhood do you work in? All of these things

837
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,359
Speaker 4: you have to take into consider where your friends live,

838
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 4: where your friends live, Yeah, you know you need a

839
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 4: bodega and like a coffee shop and whatever you might need.

840
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 3: But I think.

841
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 2: Cheapest apartments are usually on the second floor. Nobody wants

842
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 2: to live on the second floor because the noise travels up.

843
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 2: And then also, let's say like a first floor might

844
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 2: have access to the backyard. Top floor also has access

845
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 2: to the backyard, but the second floor just like I.

846
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 4: Lived on the second floor before, and the rats can

847
00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 4: still get up there.

848
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 1: That was my main thing.

849
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,280
Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, it was in Midtown and my roommate

850
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 4: had an all white cat named Cocaine and Cocaine.

851
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 3: Wow, oh that's awful. I did just write about rats

852
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 3: in the city and yeah, I won't terrify you. But

853
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 3: there's a comedy writer, card aarn Heiner who had lived

854
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,760
Speaker 3: in Long Island and had one come up with Swilett

855
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 3: and showed me the video.

856
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 1: Oh no, what is it.

857
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 2: I think we have a kind of a love hate

858
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 2: relationship with the rats in the city, because yeah, we

859
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 2: have like love the pizza rat.

860
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,760
Speaker 1: They can be comical sometimes.

861
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they're kind of like a symbol, you know,

862
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 3: like survivors, like we feel like rats kind of no,

863
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 3: not me right there, get out of here.

864
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: Is there one king rat holding up the city like Ratless.

865
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 2: He just holds up the city itself, ratless.

866
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 1: On his shoulders. Oh my god, your step mom loves that.

867
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 3: I'm trying to encourage them.

868
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 4: The next question is this is a weird question, but

869
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 4: also a very specific one, and we love specificity here.

870
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 4: When should your boyfriend give up on his rap career?

871
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 1: Oh? What season?

872
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 3: You know?

873
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,720
Speaker 4: I have a friend who has been doing comedy for

874
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:48,760
Speaker 4: over twenty years.

875
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: They're not very funny, right, I'm right here.

876
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 3: They you stop it.

877
00:39:56,160 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 4: They've even gone through a divorce because they our partner

878
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 4: couldn't deal with They said, living the lie, and the

879
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 4: other one said supporting comedians say supporting. Sorry, your stepmom,

880
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 4: I can't pick up on when you're being sarcastic.

881
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:21,359
Speaker 3: I know all his moods, and to you do it's

882
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 3: just like.

883
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 4: Theist have to support If you're in love with someone

884
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 4: who has something that's bigger than a hobby, how do

885
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 4: you spread your legs for that?

886
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:41,360
Speaker 3: And they're asking so they obviously think that persons should

887
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 3: give it off. Because they're saying when shouldn't give it off?

888
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 6: There's no question of like when Kim up on his

889
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 6: rap career? When he's your husband, put the ring on,

890
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 6: put the mic down. That's such an ultimate, Like what

891
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:58,800
Speaker 6: do you mean the tomato?

892
00:40:59,239 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 3: The al tomato.

893
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 1: I feel like.

894
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 2: I feel like it's never gonna happen. And you know,

895
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 2: that's okay. And maybe there's there's a thing that I

896
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 2: was just listening to this podcast about quitting and when

897
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 2: is when it's a good time to quit? And they

898
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,760
Speaker 2: say you should assess everything, maybe maybe to tell the person,

899
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 2: have that person, have your mate, and have yourself assess

900
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,760
Speaker 2: everything in your life except your relationships every six months,

901
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 2: you know, and if you should quit a passion or

902
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 2: a job or something like that, right, because you never

903
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 2: can tell if you're wrapping, like something could pop off,

904
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,919
Speaker 2: Like you know, some people have hung in yeah, like Dave,

905
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,759
Speaker 2: you know, like absolutely you can hang in there and

906
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,080
Speaker 2: you never know what happens. Like that guy Nim's out

907
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 2: in Coney Island. He's the one who came up with

908
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:47,720
Speaker 2: like bing bong, fuck your life, Like that guy, he's

909
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:48,760
Speaker 2: that's my boyfriend.

910
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 1: Actually that's your boyfriend.

911
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 3: When I heard those two words bing bong, I had

912
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 3: to have him no. But it's like, but the other

913
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,879
Speaker 3: thing is career is the problem there for me because

914
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 3: It's like, if someone wants to wrap or be creative anyway,

915
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,360
Speaker 3: I'm just so there for it and they need to

916
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 3: do that and we all need to express ourselves. But

917
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,720
Speaker 3: if the person is like, I'm going to make money

918
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 3: from this, that's when it changes. And it's like, if

919
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 3: it's stopping them from supporting themselves or supporting their family,

920
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 3: that's the problem.

921
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,359
Speaker 4: Also, I feel like when people have this desire, this

922
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 4: passion should do something in their life, they don't and

923
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,240
Speaker 4: they want to make money at it, they don't realize

924
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 4: that they also are leaving themselves open for all types

925
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 4: of criticism. Yeah, and you know, I don't think people

926
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 4: realize that's a part of it too, Like you write

927
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 4: all the time about shit that people don't want to

928
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:38,280
Speaker 4: talk about.

929
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, that needs to be talked about. Wait, rats and toilets, Well,

930
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 3: I mean racism at all?

931
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 6: I know.

932
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 4: And yeah, the comment section is not fucking fun.

933
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,880
Speaker 1: No, especially for an opinionated, smart woman.

934
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 4: Right, And it's like, how do you now, I'm just

935
00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 4: asking off top, like how do you deal with that?

936
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,280
Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean I think in the at the beginning,

937
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 3: it's it kind of was a motivator for me to

938
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,399
Speaker 3: prove them wrong. But it really does wear you down,

939
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 3: especially when, like, you know, I feel like I know

940
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 3: what I'm talking about, Like I just got a master's degree,

941
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 3: like you know, stuff like I try and be as

942
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 3: thorough and you know, good at the job as I

943
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:25,880
Speaker 3: can be, and people are still just like no. So

944
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 3: it gets it does get exhausting. I don't really know

945
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 3: a good way of dealing with it except having your

946
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 3: peers and your friends and you know, just staying bolstered

947
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:39,400
Speaker 3: in other ways. Yeah. Yeah, but you're very right though.

948
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 3: If you make a career out of something you love,

949
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 3: you kind of lose the innocence of it because people

950
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,439
Speaker 3: come at you, yeah, for doing that thing.

951
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 2: Also, he might not be popular here. You know I

952
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 2: have I have an in law. You know it would

953
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 2: be your in law too, That's right.

954
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,400
Speaker 3: Tell them, And I love when I love when you

955
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:03,879
Speaker 3: talk about it. Famly, go ahead. That's a good boy.

956
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: Very popular in England and in Europe.

957
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:12,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a sensational musician, just not popular in America.

958
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:14,280
Speaker 1: Ours. Barker is a great comedian.

959
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:17,360
Speaker 3: Here's in Australia. In Australia, I dated.

960
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 4: A guy who had no money, not even a Metro card,

961
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:22,280
Speaker 4: and you want to start his own magazine.

962
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, you can't even go Crosstown.

963
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 4: And once the Croatian became like the Kanye West of

964
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:32,800
Speaker 4: Croatian exactly, yes, and I'm like, good for you. Also,

965
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 4: fuck you more questions. Let's do one more question since

966
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 4: your mother in law was nice enough to come all

967
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 4: the way time.

968
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:44,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks mom. This is a good question. This is

969
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:45,400
Speaker 1: a good question. Okay.

970
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,440
Speaker 4: When you go grocery shopping, do you shop for the

971
00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:51,879
Speaker 4: entire week a day or plan to go out and

972
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 4: get food?

973
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,839
Speaker 1: Regardless she's from Europe, she does it just for the day.

974
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 2: I know, it for the day, the day, the little

975
00:44:57,760 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 2: bread sticking out of the bag.

976
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 3: Bike just like like Emily, you know, just making a

977
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 3: plumcake and I need one philt. But I'd love to

978
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 3: be It is an adulting to get a weekly shop,

979
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:14,520
Speaker 3: isn't it.

980
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,879
Speaker 4: I mean it's whatever you find, whatever is adult for you.

981
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,359
Speaker 3: I think if I was the organized dream grown up,

982
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 3: I would definitely do a weekly shop. And then you know,

983
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 3: if if I was like out at a show or

984
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 3: something and everyone's like, now we're going to get some

985
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 3: terrible food, I'd be like, I have my you know key,

986
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:35,839
Speaker 3: shut home.

987
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:41,839
Speaker 4: That's my dream too. Yeah, it's my favorite. I mean, yeah,

988
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:43,319
Speaker 4: I always love cooking.

989
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 1: What about you do You do you shop weekly? What

990
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 1: do you do?

991
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:50,279
Speaker 4: I do it all so I get really inspired by

992
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 4: recipes and what's in season, and like trying to figure

993
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 4: out what to use in the fridge when it's at

994
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 4: the end. Like what is my favorite now? Is like

995
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:01,280
Speaker 4: going through all the protein we have at the bottom

996
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,799
Speaker 4: of the freezer and making a pa I'm like, I'm

997
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 4: going to do with these two scallops and these five

998
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:07,799
Speaker 4: shrimp and this half of chicken breast.

999
00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 3: Oh perfect.

1000
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 4: So that's always been my go to. But you know,

1001
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 4: I love shopping for a big family. I feel like

1002
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 4: I've always wanted to. Yeah, so yeah, I shop for

1003
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 4: the week, but then I also like pop out and

1004
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:20,359
Speaker 4: get stuff during the day.

1005
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 2: I shot for the strong when I when I shut

1006
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 2: what Mom loves my Hominims. Mom Loves my Hominids is

1007
00:46:29,920 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 2: so much. We have to leave this bit in Mominems

1008
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 2: My Mominems, I'm the one who well, I do most

1009
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 2: of the shopping.

1010
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:43,919
Speaker 1: I do the shopping. Yeah, and I like it.

1011
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,600
Speaker 2: I love the rewards program and everything like that they

1012
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 2: give you the ten percent after you've gone there a

1013
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 2: long time.

1014
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:50,800
Speaker 1: I love my local shop.

1015
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 2: It's like it's union unionized to the people that work

1016
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 2: there are really happy, and it's it's it's really nice

1017
00:46:58,040 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 2: and like you know, when you get like the you.

1018
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:01,040
Speaker 1: Get the organic stuff.

1019
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 2: I get my goji berries, that get all you know,

1020
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 2: it makes you feel like a like you're taking care

1021
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,280
Speaker 2: of yourself. Yeah.

1022
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1023
00:47:07,880 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 2: And with my kids, my kids never say they never

1024
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,840
Speaker 2: open the refrigerator and they're like, we're out ahead of mommy.

1025
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 2: You know.

1026
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's right there. Good. You know what I'm saying.

1027
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:18,880
Speaker 1: It's like they never lack for anything.

1028
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right.

1029
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,399
Speaker 1: Oh that's my favorite feeling too. Yeah.

1030
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:23,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hate to say we don't have.

1031
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:25,839
Speaker 7: It anymore, you know what I mean, Like you ran

1032
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 7: out unless it's like the night before, if it's like

1033
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 7: sadder day and you need milk, you know, or whatever

1034
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 7: it is, like you can go a day with that

1035
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:35,320
Speaker 7: orange Juese you'd be all right, you know what I'm saying.

1036
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 3: That's what I mean. That's both of you. That is

1037
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 3: adult saying big time having that's such a great sign

1038
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 3: that you're that you don't run out of stuff.

1039
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think it's definitely a weird mix of

1040
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,959
Speaker 4: being thoughtful and taking care of people but also really

1041
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:51,240
Speaker 4: fucking taking care of yourself.

1042
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, because because like you can't do all that

1043
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 3: other stuff if you're like falling down and like have

1044
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,359
Speaker 3: a I don't know, like just like a and full

1045
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:01,360
Speaker 3: of mac and cheese.

1046
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 1: And moments you're describing me in twenty twenty.

1047
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 3: I love twenty twenty one. Oh my goodness.

1048
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 1: Oh this is lovely.

1049
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 3: Do you want to promote anything just my book? You know,

1050
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,440
Speaker 3: I'm finding it hard to just have to date people

1051
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:16,960
Speaker 3: so that they buy my book, So I think it

1052
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,240
Speaker 3: would be easier to do a podcast and say.

1053
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:22,279
Speaker 2: My book, Yes, the book, tell everyone, Hell, everyone on

1054
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 2: this train and I love them.

1055
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 1: Which is beautiful cover art, beautiful jacket art. I love

1056
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 1: it so much. Oh my yeah, I was.

1057
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:31,920
Speaker 3: Lucky this this artist called Ilia Milstein did this beautiful drawing,

1058
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 3: like an animated cover. So I was delighted with us.

1059
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and thanks for having me. And I'm so

1060
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 3: thrilled this podcast is back. I missed it. Oh yeah, yeah, definitely,

1061
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:44,319
Speaker 3: And I'm just so proud of you. You know, me

1062
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 3: and your father, we just start without your turn. You're

1063
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 3: a lovely friend here, Michelle, you're your kids are just yelling.

1064
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 1: Yeah you're young, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1065
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 3: I have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I worried book.

1066
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, more like me up my head.

1067
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:03,840
Speaker 3: That was hilarious. That's what I'm saying.

1068
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I'm going to take a walk around the

1069
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:07,399
Speaker 2: block before.

1070
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 3: We'll pick you up. No, here's my dollars?

1071
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 4: Oh my god, May Higgins, Well, excuse me. This was

1072
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 4: a very nice time. I'm so glad I got a

1073
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:31,840
Speaker 4: babysitter aka my husband and I love doing adulting with you, Jordan.

1074
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:32,359
Speaker 1: I love.

1075
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 3: And I'd love to answer these questions.

1076
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: Honestly.

1077
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:37,920
Speaker 4: If you guys have any questions that you'd like us

1078
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 4: to answer, we would love to hear them.

1079
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 2: You can email us at Adulting Questions at gmail dot com.

1080
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 1: That's Adulting Questions at gmail dot com.

1081
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 3: For the people in the back.

1082
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 2: Questions at gmail dot com.

1083
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,400
Speaker 4: Well, I gotta go home and take this bra off

1084
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:56,839
Speaker 4: and the edel's starting to kick him.

1085
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I'm gonna go. Are you gonna

1086
00:49:59,040 --> 00:49:59,880
Speaker 3: say you're gonna come with me?

1087
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go watch Gilded Age by.

1088
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 2: Everyone, this has been an exactly right production.

1089
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 3: Our Senior producer is Natalie Wrinn.

1090
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:11,200
Speaker 1: Senior Managing Producer is Hannah Kyle Kraig.

1091
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 4: This episode was sound designed and mixed by Andrew Eapen.

1092
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 1: And engineered by Ryobomb. Our guest booker is Patrick Cottner.

1093
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 1: Our theme song is by DJ don Will. Photography by

1094
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,240
Speaker 1: Chris Spender, most artwork by Jamie Bechtel.

1095
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:27,760
Speaker 4: Executive produced by Karen Kilgarriff, Georgia Harstark, and Danielle Kramer.

1096
00:50:27,880 --> 00:50:29,960
Speaker 1: Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the Pot.

1097
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 4: Email your questions to Adulting Questions at gmail dot com.

1098
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 4: Mm hmm