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Speaker 1: This is it. This is the first episode of the

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Speaker 1: Fantasy Football Follies, brought to you by draft Kings. Okay,

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Speaker 1: if football is your passion and it's my passion, and

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Speaker 1: fantasy football is your passion, and that's really my passion.

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Speaker 1: You know all the players, the teams, the strengths to weaknesses.

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Speaker 1: Put your knowledge to the test and play for your

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Speaker 1: shot at one million dollars top prize at DraftKings dot com.

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Speaker 1: It's just part of the five million dollars in total

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Speaker 1: prizes that they're doling out in Week one. The Week

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Speaker 1: one contest, they're giving up five million bucks. DraftKings dot

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Speaker 1: com is the destination for one week fantasy football. One

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Speaker 1: week fantasy means no season long commitments. Play whenever you

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Speaker 1: want with the players that you want. Just pick your contest,

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Speaker 1: draft your players, and follow your team live. You don't

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Speaker 1: like your brother in law, you don't like your following law,

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Speaker 1: don't like your sister in law, challenge them to fantasy football. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you can have private leagues to prove your the superior

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Speaker 1: GM renew old rivalries, challenge your friends, play your wife

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Speaker 1: your ex wife hardy. Draft kings dot com choose your players,

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Speaker 1: you could seriously win cash Week one. Used the code

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Speaker 1: rappaport and played for free. Okay, played for free with

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Speaker 1: your first deposit, used the code wrappaport r A p

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Speaker 1: A p O r T. Play for free Week one

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Speaker 1: you can. They're giving out five million dollars in total prizes,

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Speaker 1: I mean ship and it's free only at draft Kings

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Speaker 1: dot com. That's Draft Kings dot Com. Eligibility may apply.

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Speaker 1: See the website for details. All right, check this out. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm about this fantasy football life. I love this fantasy

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Speaker 1: football shit. Okay, I've yet to do my first draft.

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Speaker 1: My first draft is coming in a couple of days. Okay.

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Speaker 1: It's a money league, a real money league. I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna say any of the names of the people that

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Speaker 1: are playing in it. Okay, but but okay, there are

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Speaker 1: two big time rappers in there. You might be like, WHOA,

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Speaker 1: come on, tell us tell you later. They'll be on here. Okay,

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Speaker 1: they're gonna be on the Iron Rapports Stereo podcast. They're

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Speaker 1: gonna be on the Fantasy Football Follies at some point.

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Speaker 1: You know why, because all the losers, all the people

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Speaker 1: who get who who step into the monkey cage are

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Speaker 1: gonna be coming on the Fantasy Football follies. You know

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Speaker 1: why because I'm gonna be cracking that ass so lovely,

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Speaker 1: No Bruno, and if you want to play me, I

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Speaker 1: know a lot of people out there, like you lost

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Speaker 1: on the Stern Show. You don't know ship. Here's a

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Speaker 1: message to anybody. Okay, you go to Draft Kings now, okay,

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Speaker 1: and this this is no bullshit. I'm doing this for

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Speaker 1: the love. You go to Draft Kings right now, sign up,

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Speaker 1: use the promo code rapp Report. And then if you

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Speaker 1: want to step into the monkey cage with me, the

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Speaker 1: Gringo man Dingo. If you think I don't know shit

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Speaker 1: and you know everything, play me. We set up a league. Okay,

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Speaker 1: low steaks, low stakes league for now. This is not

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Speaker 1: about winning money. This is about blood, guts and glory.

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Speaker 1: This is about ship talking. If you want to play me,

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Speaker 1: the Gringo man Dingle, please sign up for the I

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Speaker 1: N Wrap Report League. It's so easy. I'll be there

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Speaker 1: every week. Step into the monkey cage with me. You

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Speaker 1: think I don't know anything, you think I'm just a blowhard,

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Speaker 1: Come on, I'll be waiting for you week after week

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Speaker 1: after week. You could play as many times as you want.

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Speaker 1: We're starting with five dollar games, and you know what,

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Speaker 1: you can win probably over a thousand dollars. What's five

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Speaker 1: dollars to possibly win a thousand dollars? And if you

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Speaker 1: beat me, I might have you come on the Iron

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Speaker 1: Rapports Stereo podcasts and talk shit. But if I beat you,

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Speaker 1: I might also have you come on the Iron Rapports

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Speaker 1: Stereo podcast and I'm gonna be talking shit. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be letting you know what it is, and I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: ask you a question like, how did it feel getting

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Speaker 1: stomped out by the gringo man dingo in Weekly Fantasy Football?

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Speaker 1: How how did that feel? Do you like it? You'll

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Speaker 1: probably say yeah, no, I didn't like it, Michael, And

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Speaker 1: I said, you want to come back from more, and

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Speaker 1: you'll probably say yeah, I'll come on, let's do it again.

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Speaker 1: There's a reason why there was Rocky too, There's a

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Speaker 1: reason why there was Rocky three. Motherfucker's just keep on

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Speaker 1: and come back. And I'm gonna tell you something right now.

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Speaker 1: I'm mocked drafting daily two three, four times a day,

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Speaker 1: five six times a day on the weekends, and and

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Speaker 1: and mock drafting alone has become too too easy for me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I mocked draft on all the sites CBS because some

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Speaker 1: of my leagues are on CBS, ESPN. There's there's another

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Speaker 1: site called Fantasy Calculator dot com, which I really like.

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Speaker 1: My man Scott Van Pelt, he hit me to that

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Speaker 1: ESPN reporter I just named op so what shoot me?

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Speaker 1: I could name drop a lot more. The life and

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Speaker 1: times of the Gringo man Dingo. They come, they go,

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Speaker 1: but I don't do it. But Scott Van Pelt s

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Speaker 1: v s v P. He was the one who told

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Speaker 1: me about that um and I'm mocked drafting. I'm bock

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Speaker 1: out with my cock out. But like I said, it's

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Speaker 1: become too easy. So now what I do is I

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Speaker 1: duress mock draft. What is that, Michael? I'll tell you.

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Speaker 1: When I'm doing my real drafts, you get I think

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Speaker 1: ninety seconds usually some summer even two minutes, which is

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Speaker 1: a joke for me. I could hold my breath for

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Speaker 1: two minutes. You know what I could do in two

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Speaker 1: minutes during a draft. Right now, I'm trying to I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to get myself to to to do the perfect draft.

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Speaker 1: Every time I go into a draft. A mock draft

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Speaker 1: preparing for my real draft. I am going for the

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Speaker 1: perfect draft, but that doesn't mean I can't be experimental.

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Speaker 1: It's a mock draft. That's the time to make mistakes.

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Speaker 1: But my duress mocked drafting. What I do? Who is

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Speaker 1: in between picks? Okay? Twenty push ups? Okay, next pick?

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Speaker 1: Twenty push ups? Blindfolded? Okay, how do you like that?

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Speaker 1: I'm disoriented. I don't know what the funk is going

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Speaker 1: on the other day, in between my picks, I had

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Speaker 1: the first pick, and you know it's a long wait

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Speaker 1: until you go again. I took a fucking shower or

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Speaker 1: heard the beat beat, beep beep. I ran out of

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Speaker 1: the shower nude, rafted myself in a towel, put on

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Speaker 1: my banana hammock, and kept drafting. That's called duress drafting. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you understand what I'm saying. That's called duress drafting. Drafting

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Speaker 1: alone is too easy. Everybody's like, oh, well this and that.

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Speaker 1: You know I I post all my drafts. Well, now's

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Speaker 1: your chance. This ain't no fucking promo. I'm not getting.

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Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not fulfilled enough by just playing in

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Speaker 1: the stern league anymore. It just doesn't. It just doesn't

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Speaker 1: do it for me anymore. It's like it's like this, Okay,

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Speaker 1: fantasy football people. I don't like to be sexually graphic

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Speaker 1: or any way disrespectful to women. But the great Nas

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Speaker 1: nasty Nas he said, new pussy is the best pussy. Okay,

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Speaker 1: any man will tell you this, and it's new. I

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Speaker 1: don't like to use terms like that. I feel like

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Speaker 1: they're disrespectful and degrading. But but new pussy is the

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Speaker 1: best pussy. What I mean is I've ran through the

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Speaker 1: Stern Show League, and I'm gonna continue to run through them.

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Speaker 1: But but but I did tricks on the dick with

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Speaker 1: the Stern Show. It's like when when you when you're

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Speaker 1: young and you're in a relationship, you you you you

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Speaker 1: you have sex okay, and then you you get you,

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Speaker 1: you get let's let's have sex. Uh standing up? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Maybe uh can you touch me while I'm driving? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's cool, and and and then you you by two years,

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Speaker 1: you've done everything. I've done it all with the Stern League.

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Speaker 1: I've had them all. Gorilla Gary fa fa fui. I

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Speaker 1: had my way with him many ways. Well, you've never

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Speaker 1: beaten a it doesn't matter. Okay, I had Gary uh

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Speaker 1: in the shower, I had him in the kitchen, I

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Speaker 1: caught him in an alley. I've went through that whole league.

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Speaker 1: J D. Harmeyer. I humped him so many times in

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Speaker 1: fantasy football. Okay, Will Murray, I took that ass. Jason Kaplan,

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Speaker 1: I took that ass. The point is is that the

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Speaker 1: Howard Stern Fantasy Football League, I'm gonna that's always gonna

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Speaker 1: be my number one. That's always gonna be my first love.

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Speaker 1: I'm never ever gonna stop doing it. But I need more,

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Speaker 1: and that's why I want to play. Motherfucker's Okay in

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Speaker 1: weekly fantasy Okay, anybody, I'm taking on all comers, anybody

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Speaker 1: who wants to do it, I'm taking on all comers. No, Bruno,

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Speaker 1: don't take that the wrong way, No fucking Bruno. All Right,

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Speaker 1: your son, he's like I want to play, bring him up.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna kick his fucking lemon and he'd stand over

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Speaker 1: all right. My mom said I want to play. I

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Speaker 1: said play, Mom, I'm gonna take your fucking money. That's

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Speaker 1: not funny. Yeah, you don't ask to play, because nothing's

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Speaker 1: funny about fantasy football. It's that fucking real, mom, you

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Speaker 1: want to get in it, I'm gonna kick that ass.

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Speaker 1: So now I'm in this big money league with these

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Speaker 1: rappers and all these music people in these New York

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Speaker 1: City radio personalized I'm gonna fucking run through that league.

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Speaker 1: Twenty dollar prize dollars to get into the league. They

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Speaker 1: wanted me because of all the ship talking. They said,

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Speaker 1: we want you. They said, bring your fourteen year old guru,

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Speaker 1: bring the whole seventh grade if you want. They I said, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm coming, motherfucker. So that league is happening. I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: even doing it. Uh in in in in a in

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Speaker 1: a league with serious radio. You know. I have a

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Speaker 1: serious radio show with the greatest fantasy football guru guru,

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Speaker 1: John Henson. His his app last year my guru dot com.

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Speaker 1: His projections beat all every single one of the other

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Speaker 1: fantasy football gurus know it, all insiders. I have a

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Speaker 1: show with him on Sirius xm' like, are you promoting

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Speaker 1: yourself now? I'm not funk. I'm telling you I got

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Speaker 1: a show. It's called you never know, Because at the

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Speaker 1: end of the day, you could prepare, you could mock draft,

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Speaker 1: you could durest draft, you can read articles, but at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, you never know. But his

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Speaker 1: projections were better than every single other guru insider NFL this,

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Speaker 1: all of them. His projections were number one, and I

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Speaker 1: got him. We're working together on a show. You want

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Speaker 1: to listen to me Tuesday, six pm Eastern Serious XM.

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Speaker 1: I think the shows are yeah, and I know the

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Speaker 1: shows you could if you don't listen to it live,

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Speaker 1: you could. Uh, I don't know. You know, we don't

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Speaker 1: fact check here at the Fantasy Football Follies. But he's

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Speaker 1: helping me. I got my fourteen year old guru, and

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Speaker 1: I'm doing it on my own because but that's why

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Speaker 1: I'm doing them in the mock drafts and the durest drafts, Okay,

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Speaker 1: because because I I it's it's it's on and on

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Speaker 1: to the break of gone. So I'm so hyped up

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Speaker 1: for this fantasy football season. I'm so hyped up and

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Speaker 1: and and you know, I can say, well, who's your sleepers?

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Speaker 1: People are coming to me for advice. Now, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't need to give you my sleepers. You want your

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Speaker 1: sleepers to go somewhere else. This isn't about that. I'll

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Speaker 1: get I'll give you some some you know sits some picks,

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Speaker 1: sit him or start them, sitnam or bench ump during

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Speaker 1: the season. I'll give you all that ship later on.

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Speaker 1: You want sleepers, go to Matthew Berry. He knows way

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Speaker 1: more than me. Go to Adam Schefter. Okay, all those

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Speaker 1: guys know way more than me. Go to my guru

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Speaker 1: dot com. The best ship that that's out there. This

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Speaker 1: isn't about that the psychological warfare. We're taking it to

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Speaker 1: the streets. Smash Mouth Fantasy Football. Casper Mattress is an

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Speaker 1: award winning mattress company that makes the most rigig, caulessly relaxing,

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Speaker 1: supportive mattresses sold directly to the consumers. Trust me, I

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Speaker 1: sleep on one every night. The Casper Mattress is available

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Speaker 1: in six sizes and has a ten year full warranty

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Speaker 1: ten fucking years. It's made and stitched right here in

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Speaker 1: the United States, free two to five days shipping in

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Speaker 1: the United States and Canada, and in New York City

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Speaker 1: you can get it the day of The guy will

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Speaker 1: drive up with your mattress in a box and deliver

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Speaker 1: it right to your fucking house. And if you do

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Speaker 1: not like it, you have a hundred knights to sleep

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Speaker 1: on this mattress for free. If you do not like it,

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Speaker 1: they will refund. They will come pick up your mattress

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Speaker 1: for free a hundred knights. Go to Casper dot com

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Speaker 1: and say fifty dollars using the promo code rapp report

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Speaker 1: r A P A p O r T Casper Mattresses.

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Speaker 1: We love them. I mean another league, okay with Jerry Cantrell. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you know Alison Change, you know that group. Okay, I

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Speaker 1: don't know much about him. I funk with him. I

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Speaker 1: know some of their songs, heavy duty grunge music, heavy

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Speaker 1: duty heavy metal, heavy duty rock, all that indie ship.

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Speaker 1: He's got a league apparently. Uh, he's very very competitive,

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Speaker 1: Jerry Cantrell. He invited me into his league again. The

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Speaker 1: only reason why these guys do they think that I'm

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Speaker 1: chopped liver, that I'm chopped meat. Well, I got a

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Speaker 1: fucking little surprise for you, Jerry Cantrell. I'm coming and

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Speaker 1: I'm coming to kick ass. And I know a lot

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Speaker 1: of you grunge metal guys. Your vegans, all right, I'm

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Speaker 1: bringing a pursciutto and cheese sandwich to the draft. I'm

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Speaker 1: eating the ship at your house. Okay, that's psychological warfare.

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Speaker 1: I'm eating some bologne. He remember Sean Penn and bad Boys.

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Speaker 1: Remember he was like staring at the dude. I'm bringing

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Speaker 1: bologny slices. They still make bologny. Yeah, I'm gonna have

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Speaker 1: him tucked in my sock in a baggy. No, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna have bologny tucked in my sock at the draft.

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Speaker 1: Jerry Cantroll, Okay, everybody wants a piece of the gringo

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Speaker 1: man Dingo. I mean like six leagues year this year, okay,

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Speaker 1: and nothing can stop me. So yeah, I can sit

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Speaker 1: here and give you sleepers. I'll give you a few

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Speaker 1: give we want a piece of, We want some information,

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Speaker 1: you want some detail. I'll give it to you right now.

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Speaker 1: First of all, Kobe Fleaner, Okay, he's now on the

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Speaker 1: New Orleans Saints. I like him. He's big, Okay. Jimmy

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Speaker 1: Graham and then and then uh Drew Brees. They made

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Speaker 1: magic together. I expect Kobe Fleaner to make magic with

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Speaker 1: Drew Brees. That's my number one thing. Charles Sims and

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Speaker 1: Doug Martin, Okay, they're gonna kick ass. A lot of

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Speaker 1: people are talking about Martellis. Martellis Bennett. Is Martellis Bennett

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Speaker 1: the next Aaron Hernandez. I hope fucking not. I hope

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Speaker 1: fucking not. I don't know how that's the way to phrase. Thing.

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Speaker 1: Is Martellis Bennett the next air and Hernandez. We don't

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Speaker 1: want to fucking tight end going around shooting people in

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Speaker 1: the off season. Okay, that's my tip there. Stop saying that.

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Speaker 1: Stop referring to Martellis Bennett as the next Aeron Hernandez.

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Speaker 1: That's a tip. You wanted a tip, I just gave

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Speaker 1: you a tip. But I like Martellis Bennett. I like

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Speaker 1: him and his brother. They talk a lot of ship.

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Speaker 1: I talked they talk a lot of ship, and so

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Speaker 1: do I. But you could get this anywhere. You could

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Speaker 1: get this. Go to my guru dot com. Trust me,

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Speaker 1: you can get all this information. Go to ESPN, CBS,

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Speaker 1: whoever your go to guys. They could give you all

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Speaker 1: that ship. Okay, of course, Sterling Shepherd for the for

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Speaker 1: the the Giants, he's gonna do his thing again. I

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Speaker 1: don't like to bore you with the stats. You could

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Speaker 1: go get that stuff from Adam Schefter, Go get that

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Speaker 1: from my guy Gurgle, John Henson, Matthew Bury there there.

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Speaker 1: Everybody's a genius. Everybody's a fucking genius. That's not what

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Speaker 1: this is about. When you need to man up, Okay,

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Speaker 1: when you need I wouldn't pick Ezekiel Elliott. I know

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Speaker 1: I'm in the minority about that. I've never seen him play.

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Speaker 1: I have never seen him play. I saw him in college.

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Speaker 1: But I'm not just gonna pick you because everybody says you.

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Speaker 1: It says I should. You showed up to the draft

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Speaker 1: with your midriff out. Sorry, I gotta see what you

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Speaker 1: do next season. Maybe I'll regret it. Maybe I will

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Speaker 1: regret it. You made me nervous with the midriff. You

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Speaker 1: made me nervous that the day after the draft, some

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Speaker 1: chick posted a picture you sleeping after you probably tore

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Speaker 1: that ass up real properly. Okay, she puts you on Snapchat.

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Speaker 1: You're sloppy, Ezekiel Elliott. And if you're sloppy in life,

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Speaker 1: that means you're probably sloppy with your pass routes. It's

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Speaker 1: just my thoughts, all right, this is the fantasy football follies,

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Speaker 1: all right, the Iron Rapports stereo podcast. Like I told you,

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Speaker 1: you want a piece of me, you know where to

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Speaker 1: find me. You know where to find me. I'll be

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Speaker 1: there all season, all season long, doing my thing. Michael Crabtree,

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Speaker 1: I like him. Richard Sherman tried to bury him. He

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Speaker 1: had a great season last year. I picked him up

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Speaker 1: as a flex. I think he's gonna do great this year.

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Speaker 1: Remember that Michael Crabtree when he's at the forty niners.

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Speaker 1: Richard Sherman talked all that ship. Well, Crabtree is still going.

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Speaker 1: That's another little piece of advice. I can give you advice,

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Speaker 1: and he would be, you don't need my advice, you

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Speaker 1: need my folks. You need to dress mock draft okay.

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Speaker 1: And if you want to dress mock drafting me. I'm

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Speaker 1: easy to find on Twitter. I'm easy to find on Instagram.

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Speaker 1: I'm always looking for a friend, all right. The Gringo

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Speaker 1: Man Dingo, the first episode of the Fantasy Football Follies

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Speaker 1: will be rocking all season long, all right, and I'm

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Speaker 1: just I can't wait to do it. Jerry Cantrell Allison

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Speaker 1: changed that league that I'm in with these guys. I

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Speaker 1: forgot the gentleman's name from Anthrax. I'm gonna kick your

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Speaker 1: ass week after week after week. There's a few other

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Speaker 1: big rock and roll dudes in there. I'm coming for

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Speaker 1: the number one spot. They're gonna be like, what the

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Speaker 1: fund is Rapp report doing. He's actually eating bologny that

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Speaker 1: he's pulling out of his sock at the draft. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you know what it is. I'm setting

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Speaker 1: the tone, all right, Sam Rapports stereo podcast Fantasy Football

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Speaker 1: Follies episode and uh we're done. We're about to have

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Speaker 1: some fun.