WEBVTT - Bed Bugs & Beyond (with Clark Jones) 0:00:02.880 --> 0:00:05.480 I had no idea. Fred to Blackness said that, and 0:00:05.559 --> 0:00:10.600 I wont every Black History munch for at my church 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:14.800 when I was twin Well, your church was trashed. Let's 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:17.720 start there. Your church wasn't doing good Black history and 0:00:17.760 --> 0:00:23.720 they weren't incorporating the Texas. It's the same Martin Luther 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:28.080 King speech every year. But I'll be honest, they weren't 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:30.720 doing enough. And that's on you. That's on you, That's 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:39.760 on the church that you belong. My chips in your 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:53.840 us racist also money, many stuff I can't tell me. 0:00:56.960 --> 0:01:01.240 Bang bang bang, skeet, skeet skeet. The area is Ladies 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:06.520 and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenon devastating episode of My 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:10.759 Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:14.200 into the conspiracies of the black community and we finally 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:17.600 worked to prove that Irma Pete Hall may have lost 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:20.240 her leg in the movie So Food, but I assure 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:23.679 you ain't. Nothing happened to that ass. You're sitting on 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:26.360 something sturdy, big Mama, and I want to eat mac 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:29.800 and cheese off of it every Sunday. That's right, Irma 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:33.240 pe Hall, come and find me, sweetheart. I'm trying to 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:37.160 see what that meat do. It's meat. Your host leg 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:41.320 stan kermy the man yelling sexual comments that irma pe Hall. 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:44.039 That's what I'm into. You should know that about me. 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:49.160 I'm very excited today our guests. A phenomenal comedian, a 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:53.040 dear friend, a man who I've known longer than almost 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:56.320 anybody I can think of in my my journey as 0:01:56.360 --> 0:01:59.000 a comedian. He was one of the first comedians I 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:02.760 ever met. He hysterically, you know I'm from Comedy Central. 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:06.600 You know I'm from r I P That NBC. Uh 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:09.120 what was that ship? Go? Well, what is it not 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:13.440 Quimby the one before? Yeah, see so r I PC. So, 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:15.840 But goddamn did he have a funny set on there 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:20.040 that NBC couldn't maintain because they didn't invest right in 0:02:20.120 --> 0:02:23.440 to see so? But this motherfucker's funniest shit. A dear friend. 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:26.400 Give it up for Clark Jones, everybody that's up for 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:31.359 everybody were here. Don't be bad that Chicago got to promote. 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:36.200 I got to entro myself. Yeah, my credit was a defunct. 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:41.960 My credit was a worst version of Quimby. Well that's 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:44.000 not true. See so I had a lot of good 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:46.400 things that they just didn't give a funk about and 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:49.880 uh let die. Yeah it was. It was ran by NBC. 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:55.480 I wish NBC knew about see so that I wish 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.520 they knew, Like there's like see so it was like 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:01.079 some money they found in the couch. Oh that's ours. 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:03.800 Oh oh oh ship. We were supposed to be in 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:09.600 charge of that. Wait wait us, NBCTV the thing Bill 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:13.160 cos you tried to buy Okay, all right, and now 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.760 I see maybe we were responsible for his downfall. Maybe 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:22.600 this whole thing was right. Bill didn't like that. I mean, damn, 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:26.200 we need this. We need another reboot. We need this 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:28.760 Cheers reboot to pop. We needed money for that. We 0:03:28.800 --> 0:03:31.000 have to drop C so we had to drop it. 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:35.200 How are you, dude? Man, I'm never as good as 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:38.840 I say that I am on the podcast. Sure, sure, 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:42.040 you know what. Let me say this. I appreciate your 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:44.680 your transparency in this. A lot of people are like, 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:48.040 I'm great, and it's like, no, you're not. You're crumbling inside. 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:51.360 I'm never I mean even more so today. I had 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:57.080 a terrible experience this morning, and I'm just it's one 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.480 of those things that I took care of. But just 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:01.360 because you put the fire out. That don't mean it 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:07.160 didn't cause damage. Right, I'm dealing with that. But I'm here. 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:08.920 I'm glad to be here, glad to be talking to 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:11.880 you man, and not a complete stranger. Hell yeah on 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:15.040 the podcast saying I'm great. If if you were a stranger, 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:16.920 I would be like, I'm great, man, Let's do it. 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:20.360 I'm excited. Yeah, And it was me. You're like, hey man, 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:23.240 things are crumbling, but tell you a little jokes. Let's 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:26.080 let's get to it. This is just a FaceTime that 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:31.520 uh that we haven't that's recorded with a secret person. Well, 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:36.520 I'm excited, if nothing else, to get into your conspiracy theory, 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:40.240 because very rarely on this podcast does somebody come to 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:43.960 me with a conspiracy theory. I've never heard of before 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:46.760 in my life. This is a brand new one to me, 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:49.080 and not in a bad way. I'm it's one that 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:52.760 I heard and I was like, I don't know, maybe 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:56.520 quite possibly. I'm listening, and I want to make it clear. 0:04:56.600 --> 0:05:02.520 You said, my mama told me the mattress industry intentionally 0:05:02.600 --> 0:05:06.760 introduced a bad Bucks outbreak in order to sell more mattresses. 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:14.240 You nailed it, that's it, Yes, tell me more. Where 0:05:14.279 --> 0:05:18.880 does this come from where what I lived in New 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:26.760 York from through ten nineteen, and when we moved there, 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:31.880 there was no outbreak and about they were just everywhere. 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:33.840 And then they went from New York and all of 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:36.080 a sudden it was across the country. And then we 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:39.120 just stopped hearing about it. And I would go to 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:42.240 Times Square and I would just see, like why is 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:50.880 like the mattress company like Prime real estate elevators like 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:54.479 Red Carpet, and they just kept popping up. They kept 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:58.160 popping because you know, you take advantage, Like I think 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:01.240 O c D is one of the biggest affliction that 0:06:01.640 --> 0:06:05.000 it's taking advantage of people who like, oh that has 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:06.440 a spect of earth, Let's get it out of here. 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:10.360 The bugs motherfucker's was like you go up and down Brooklyn, 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:14.840 you just saw poorly plastic wrapped mattresses all of the 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:19.479 down Pulsey Avenue. It wasn't just the big companies like 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:21.680 you you walk down the block in a little march 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:25.680 like one um, I forget the name of it, but like, yeah, 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:31.800 just all these little shops was just open. That's interesting. Okay, 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:34.479 You're you're digging into two things that I think are 0:06:34.520 --> 0:06:38.560 are really important here Number one, How the fuck does 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:43.360 a mattress company get real estate in times squared? Like, 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:46.680 what did y'all do that made it that you could 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:53.919 be next to the eminem store Square mattresses? Yeah, you 0:06:53.960 --> 0:06:56.880 go to a nick game, didn't get a seey postopedic 0:06:57.560 --> 0:07:01.200 was just there's something off here, There's something something isn't 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:05.880 And so to that point, maybe there's a possibility that 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:09.080 this is, uh the way that somebody's washing their money. 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:12.080 Maybe this is a big wealthy person who is figuring 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:15.280 out a way to clean up the otherwise corrupt money 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:19.360 that they bring in. Or these companies are figuring out 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:23.440 a way to get money where in places and in 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:28.080 ways that maybe are normal for regular mattress companies. Maybe 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:31.760 you know, people needing a new mattress, you do that 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:36.800 whatevery like five to ten years tops broadcast comics having 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:40.440 like it wasn't even like, oh this is extra money, 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:45.480 Like no, I got to get because not only the infestation, 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:50.240 the stigma, right, And I lived in a bowl in Bushwick, 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:53.200 Like bushw Week is built like a bowl, And yeah, 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:55.240 I was wondering why we were able to afford it 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:57.320 is because we lived at the bottom of a bowl. 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:01.760 So whenever range, and it stormed a lot. I didn't 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:03.680 even storm know it stormed that much in New York. 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:10.920 But everybody's insects, dirt, whatever, slid down to the bottom 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:15.240 of the boat and the basement in Bushwick with no windows. 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:20.040 You were literally the lowest point of Bushwick. We were 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:25.320 that that last that last Oreo cookie Cereal, the last 0:08:25.320 --> 0:08:28.880 soggy one that was that was you, And therefore you 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:33.320 were getting the runoff of everybody else's ship. Think of it, Yeah, 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:36.920 like a Cereal boat, like that last Captain crunch as 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:40.520 all the cherry, the crunch berry read all over it. 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:43.480 That was our apartment. So we got flooded, we got 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:46.880 big bugs, and I had to get into mattress. Yeah, 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:50.480 and so naturally you went to a place to buy 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:55.199 a new mattress post bed bugs p B D or 0:08:55.280 --> 0:09:00.960 p B B pete what is it? But you go, 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:05.080 you get this new mattress, and do they try to 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:07.840 upsell you? Are they like then like, hey, you need 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:11.600 this bad bug resistant mattress. I had no idea what 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:15.440 it would even cost. So yeah, I mean, like, I 0:09:15.440 --> 0:09:18.240 don't if if the demand went up, then the price 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:21.280 go up. It wasn't even it was the mattress. And 0:09:21.360 --> 0:09:23.880 it was like, oh and you need this special. You 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:28.559 need a big cover, you know, a mattress. Uh cover 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:31.600 too because then the bad bugs then they go like, 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:33.520 oh man, you should protect it. We can get it. 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:39.640 Oh mantel supposed to get in there. We got we 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:41.800 need we need indoor. They just they got us on 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:44.480 the outside of the bed. That's not good. And they 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:48.440 like that. And you know what you else saw? What 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:52.400 else you saw on the telephone poles, like the big 0:09:52.440 --> 0:09:54.720 thing you see when you see like bad bug. We 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:58.280 take care of bid bugs, cocoa dog just like everywhere 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:01.840 everywhere you went, and you saw that, and like the 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:06.800 Dollar store had to praise so like in front of 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:11.360 the store. It used to be to your point, there 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:17.080 there starts to become a thriving industry around bedbugs. Anything 0:10:17.120 --> 0:10:20.600 bad but related was selling it. And and in your 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:24.480 mind based on your conspiracy, because I do think and 0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:30.800 and let's clarify this is something you genuinely believe. Okay, cool, 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.320 you said it in a very matter of fact way, 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:35.760 like what kind of fool would ask that kind of question? 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:38.559 And I will for our listeners at home, I want 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:42.400 to be clear. Yeah, the fool. The fool who believes 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:46.840 it is Clark. The question is always why wouldn't they Okay, 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:50.440 now I'm listening because that's how they get you. I 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:54.280 I hear you. That is how they get you. That's 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.160 how they get you. But okay, so what you're saying 0:10:57.320 --> 0:11:01.800 is is that somewhere along the lines, this outbreak happens, 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:09.120 and in your mind, the big mattress, the mattress industry, 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:13.559 knows that they can gain resources from this whole experience. 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:17.040 I guess my question for you is do you believe 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:22.040 that this mattress industry created the outbreak to start off? 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:25.600 That they are the ones that incited the outbreak. Here's 0:11:25.600 --> 0:11:28.440 the thing. I think people took advantage of it, and yes, 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:34.120 I do think this was intentional. Wow. Yes, So like 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:44.679 Dr Seeley of Seeley Post repeated Mr Alvin certa recast 0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:51.920 was now whenever they were doing to get rid of 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:55.520 bad bugs because they're like, oh, dirty motherfucker's just started 0:11:55.520 --> 0:12:01.400 coming to New York and right they didn't start how 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:06.160 to getting through Now they stronger coming from coming from 0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:11.200 the old country. No disrespect, no disrespect to all my 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:15.080 older listeners who might have come from the old country. Country. 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:19.360 I just mean to state the ferry. Did they hop 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:22.120 off the ferry and decide like, oh this is nice? 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:24.400 Did they just take their way to Brooklyn? Like no, 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:29.319 and it's such a commuter city. Yang, how come I 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:34.000 could go to the Upper east Side and it wasn't crazy? Right? Yeah, 0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:37.800 to that point, we're all constantly on trains, were all 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:41.440 constantly bumping up against each other. In theory. If I'm 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:44.880 sitting at home with bad bugs, so should this uh 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:49.160 this Upper east Side, Max Sinista, if you will? And 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:53.199 instead she's not getting it, But I am every man 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:56.440 on the Upper east Side come from Crown Heights. Mhmm, 0:12:56.760 --> 0:13:00.760 so the ones I would let watch kid? Right, If 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:04.240 your nanny ain't Jamaican, what did you even do this for? What? 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.000 What are you in the game for? If you ain't 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:08.959 gonna get a Jamaican woman to raise your children, You 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:11.240 might as well live in Brooklyn. You might as well 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:13.920 live there. Ye from there, you might as well live there. 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.480 You might be there. You should be a name if 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:21.560 if you're Jamaican. I love that. I love that line 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:26.760 of Jeff Foxworthy jokes where he's just like, you should 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:30.760 be a Jamaican living in Brooklyn you might be a 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:38.280 Jamaican nanny if you to grammars. Oh, Jeff, when are 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.640 you going to stop being funny? You know? That's all 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:42.760 I want? Man, I think I need to come up 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:44.960 with something like that, but I forget to write it 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:48.400 in my notes. App so sure, like all my million 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:51.400 dollar ideas. That's the only difference between you and Jeff 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:54.240 Foxworthy is he he doesn't forget to write it down. 0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:57.560 He wrote one thing down. He was like, I gotta 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:01.160 keep this big going. This is tight. You killing right now. 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:08.880 So okay, you said something interesting, because this is something 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.960 that I, in hearing your conspiracy theory, was sort of 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:15.280 struggling with. I thought, for a second you were suggesting 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:18.920 that the mattress companies had sort of bio engineered these 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.360 bed bugs. But I think what you're saying, and correct 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:23.680 me if I'm wrong. I think what you're saying is 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:28.000 they in fact, just stopped doing everything they could to 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:31.840 protect us against the bedbugs, thus allowing them to come 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:37.520 into our lives, thus increasing their revenue. Yes, they didn't 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:41.040 do everything they could to protect us or stop them, 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:47.960 including releasing them, unto so what you're saying, and I 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:51.440 just be you're saying that, like when I go to 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:55.360 a mattress store, and specifically in New York City, and 0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:59.640 what you're saying is somebody is intentionally picking up a 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:02.480 bed bug in a pair of tweezers and placing that 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:05.440 bad boy right smack dab in the middle, and presuming 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:08.080 that that bad bug will, over a course of time, 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:13.240 lay eggs and repopulate inside my mattress, thus making it 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:15.920 necessary for me to go back to them a year 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:20.400 later and be like, hey, I got the ship. There 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:25.840 there's a that this could be manifested, including and I'm 0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:27.920 not saying this to be sure because I didn't I 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:32.800 don't have the facts, but including pretending to be sweeping 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:39.960 as an exterminator of other bugs and planting who hold 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:46.000 up way to goddamn minute, hold the hold the motherfucking phone, Clark. 0:15:46.600 --> 0:15:48.760 I think you just got us into a segment that 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:51.680 I want to call talk that Talk, And in Talk 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:54.080 that Talk, I'm gonna give you thirty seconds because you 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:59.080 just got into something terrifying if true, horrifying if true, 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:01.480 I'm gonna give you thirty seconds. I'm gonna play some music. 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:03.720 I would love for you to fully unpack what you 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:08.320 just said. About the possibility of the exterminators being in 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:12.160 on this whole thing thirty seconds whenever you're ready. In 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:16.560 the words of Giuliani, this could be anything. This is 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:22.920 deep thing. Why wouldn't they You have no idea what 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:24.960 they're doing. When they knock on your door and say, hey, 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:28.200 we're from the landlord you never talked to, and we're 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:31.520 coming to just phrase some stuff. They could be unleashing 0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:35.600 whatever bugs because look, if they got rid of all 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:39.600 the bugs, there would be no organ man. The point 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:44.240 is to have something to exterminate NonStop. It's like Chris 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:48.200 Rocks get about medicine. You don't cure anything. They keep 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:53.320 it going so they have an industry. Damn, damn, goddamn 0:16:54.000 --> 0:17:01.200 motherfucking boys complain nothing about that goddamn game. Tell you 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:05.679 it's no point in getting rid of all the bugs 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:10.480 if you're trying to make money. Wow, listen, that's devastating. 0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:14.320 If it's true, that's fucking devastating that this entire industry 0:17:14.560 --> 0:17:18.360 is built on the maintenance of keeping infestations in people's 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:21.720 homes because that's how they make their money. I'm listen. 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:24.679 I didn't start this podcast fully on your side, but 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:27.800 I'm getting pretty close to it. I'm I'm coming around. 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:31.600 Why would they not keep it going? Okay, let's take 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:33.960 this a step back for a second, because I think 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:36.760 this is important for for everyone to be able to 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:39.480 make sense of all of this. Where did this come from? 0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:42.560 For you personally? Are there other people in your life 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:45.920 who support this theory? Are you alone ranger in this fight? 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:51.600 Where are we at having bus right? Which? Get it? 0:17:51.680 --> 0:17:57.200 You're nasty, but I'm saying, are there are there other 0:17:57.400 --> 0:18:00.639 people who you've run this past who are now on 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:05.480 the on the bedbug conspiracy train? Literally everybody who are 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:09.680 presented this to win? You know? Oh, is this a bit? 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:14.160 That's what they said first, Yeah, potentially if we can 0:18:14.200 --> 0:18:17.480 workshop it. And then they went there's nothing. There's nothing 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:21.520 to workshop because I believe it so much. It's not funny, right, 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:24.439 They're like, look, if this is what your comedy has 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:26.880 turned into, if you're more of a truth teller at 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:29.840 this point, I'm off the train. I'm not. That's not 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:32.760 the kind of comedy I'm subscribing to. So look, man, 0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:35.400 if you want to do a ted X, I'll support 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:37.639 you in that, But what you're doing right now is 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:39.920 just spitting them hard, real facts, and I ain't trying 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:43.000 to hear nothing else. Tedex sounds like somebody who comes 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:48.480 in to remove bugs, but they don't just spreading bugs. 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:53.000 That little is either that or it's a white dude 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:56.600 who went to one Nation of Islam meeting and uh, 0:18:56.840 --> 0:19:02.040 you felt real inspired. One more house and he's Ex 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:05.040 also known as ted X. He just shows up like, Hey, 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:09.120 did y'all know there's racism out here? Don't report no more? 0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:12.359 Just out of nowhere, just at the rib shop, eating sides. 0:19:12.640 --> 0:19:15.440 And honestly, it's more because it upsets his stomach than 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:19.359 it is because he's actually passionate about like the health 0:19:19.800 --> 0:19:22.439 and rules of religion. But he's like, nah, you know, 0:19:22.520 --> 0:19:25.080 if black people said that I'm down, I'll do it. 0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:28.359 But he's wearing the same color scheme from Belly, the 0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:31.000 black white with the black tie. So you believe them, 0:19:31.119 --> 0:19:33.360 are You're like, okay, Well his life different? He don't. 0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:36.480 He don't you don't do beer cake stands no more. So. 0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:38.639 He wears a boat tie, but it's a vine your 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:41.359 vines bow tie, and you know he ain't fully down. 0:19:41.920 --> 0:19:44.880 Before ted X says anything, he takes his glasses off 0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:55.720 points I would like apartment. Yeah, I loved TEDx. Listen. 0:19:55.920 --> 0:19:59.679 I think you're you're hitting something really important here that 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:04.480 so many of the industries in our country, in the 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:09.160 world are built on necessity, right that like there there 0:20:09.280 --> 0:20:12.280 is no job that can't exist without a a need, 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:15.880 uh a want on the side of the consumer. And 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:21.360 so with that, extermination is exactly the same, and mattresses 0:20:21.480 --> 0:20:24.679 are exactly the same. If we're not replacing our mattresses 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:29.280 every year, then presumably these mattress companies either have to 0:20:29.320 --> 0:20:33.600 sell mattresses for insane prices, which they already do, that's 0:20:33.640 --> 0:20:36.800 already a well known fact. But then on top of that, 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:39.560 they also have to find a way to keep refilling 0:20:39.600 --> 0:20:42.440 that consumer base, and the best way to do that 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:48.040 is by making our mattresses fail us in various ways, 0:20:48.320 --> 0:20:53.479 potentially through infestations. Here's the thing that really sells it 0:20:53.560 --> 0:20:57.879 for me about any conspiracy period. That's what I heard, 0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:03.679 but I'm not always sure treat. And also, this is 0:21:03.680 --> 0:21:06.760 a big industry, and people are always are attempted to 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:11.879 be nervous about exposing things. But I'm always like, even 0:21:11.920 --> 0:21:16.040 if it's true, what can I do about it? Right? 0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:21.520 That's that's the beauty of a wide sweeping plot to 0:21:21.640 --> 0:21:25.000 take advantage of everyday America. There's nothing we can do 0:21:25.080 --> 0:21:28.760 about it, even if it is true. Right, So, so 0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:33.000 to your point, when you're sort of like exposing big 0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:37.679 mattress for their ties to bed bugs, you, I guess 0:21:37.720 --> 0:21:40.760 to some extent, are admitting you're pretty weak in this. 0:21:40.960 --> 0:21:43.320 You don't have any real power to be able to 0:21:43.400 --> 0:21:46.399 stop what's happening. Nothing you can do about it. You 0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:49.640 just gotta buy a new mattress. Wow. And so do 0:21:49.680 --> 0:21:51.919 you then go and buy a new mattress? Are you 0:21:51.960 --> 0:21:55.200 then just like you just buy it begrudgingly, but you 0:21:55.280 --> 0:21:59.320 do it? Wow? That well, that just okay. Now that's 0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:04.840 upsetting me here, Clark. It feels like you, being sort 0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:07.880 of a person on the ground floor, in the bottom 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.520 of the bowl, if you will, of this whole thing, 0:22:11.200 --> 0:22:14.760 would want to create a new system where we don't 0:22:14.800 --> 0:22:18.600 sleep on mattresses anymore. Now you you Japanese, Now you 0:22:18.640 --> 0:22:24.200 sleep on them weird you know floor pads that they like, Yeah, 0:22:24.280 --> 0:22:26.880 exactly like you. You. I would think that you would 0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:29.520 want to explore new options, but you're saying no, I'm 0:22:29.680 --> 0:22:32.840 I'm still fully invested in in capitalism. And all of 0:22:32.840 --> 0:22:37.000 its tricks. Who enjoys? Who? Who can go without a 0:22:37.080 --> 0:22:42.720 decent night of sleep? Who of you doesn't need to 0:22:42.760 --> 0:22:47.240 sleep well? Sure if if you can do that, especially 0:22:47.240 --> 0:22:49.400 in New York City. You've been on the train, you've 0:22:49.400 --> 0:22:51.720 been at work, You're going to open mics, you're going 0:22:51.760 --> 0:22:54.600 to two twos for a late night wrong, you're getting 0:22:54.600 --> 0:22:59.000 a drink. All these things. I'm just showing out at 0:22:59.040 --> 0:23:03.120 this point, just something very specific to you. You're over 0:23:03.160 --> 0:23:06.040 the Jeff's house. You hang out with him for about 0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:09.639 thirty five to eighty minutes, it depends if Jeff's in 0:23:09.680 --> 0:23:14.240 the mood. Then you head over to the It's Saturday, 0:23:14.320 --> 0:23:16.879 so you go by green Point and you think about 0:23:16.920 --> 0:23:21.560 taking it skateboarding class. But then you're like, come on, dog, 0:23:21.600 --> 0:23:25.360 you thirty five? What you mean skateboarding class? Get over this. 0:23:25.680 --> 0:23:28.400 It's too late, you promise yourself. So you walk back 0:23:28.400 --> 0:23:30.640 a little bit. But that Dunking Donuts is calling your name. 0:23:30.920 --> 0:23:35.320 You could just get a stale blaze, Oh ship matchup 0:23:35.359 --> 0:23:39.639 still going, No, they're done, So you scirm me around 0:23:41.000 --> 0:23:44.360 you know, some artisanal ship, and then you just that's 0:23:44.359 --> 0:23:47.040 your day. Sure, And to your point, that is a 0:23:47.160 --> 0:23:50.840 very long day. That's a an arduous day, and therefore 0:23:50.920 --> 0:23:53.120 you need a good rest at the end of that. 0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:56.440 Bad boy. Now here's my concern, and here's where I 0:23:57.000 --> 0:24:00.200 will challenge you, is that I do, in fact think 0:24:00.520 --> 0:24:03.520 that maybe there's an alternative to a good night's sleep 0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:07.159 that we haven't discovered that is sort of absent of 0:24:07.200 --> 0:24:10.280 the mattress companies. That maybe the mattress companies have a 0:24:10.280 --> 0:24:13.360 hold on our minds in a way that we don't know. 0:24:13.880 --> 0:24:16.119 We could have a good night's sleep without them. Bitches, 0:24:16.280 --> 0:24:18.600 you know what I'm saying. Okay, I would love to 0:24:18.640 --> 0:24:22.760 hear that, because it isn't even cool like in other cities. 0:24:23.040 --> 0:24:27.159 No cities where it's safe to catch some sleep on 0:24:27.200 --> 0:24:31.639 the train have a train mm hmm. All the cities 0:24:31.640 --> 0:24:35.840 that have trains, it's very unsafe to catch forty wings on. 0:24:36.359 --> 0:24:40.560 So if the conspiracy is bigger than just like mattresses, 0:24:41.240 --> 0:24:43.919 they look at every single angle like you have to 0:24:43.960 --> 0:24:47.040 get that that rest. When you get home, you can 0:24:47.640 --> 0:24:51.760 knowing you have been bugs. We are, especially in places 0:24:51.840 --> 0:24:54.880 like New York City, you are living in a sleepless 0:24:55.040 --> 0:24:58.240 prison that you are never going to be allowed to 0:24:58.280 --> 0:25:01.520 get the proper rest that you need, and so you 0:25:01.600 --> 0:25:05.959 are clinging to these mattresses because of the salvation that 0:25:06.040 --> 0:25:10.160 they offer more than just uh, they are a nice 0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:12.600 way to go to bed at night. You know the 0:25:12.640 --> 0:25:16.600 worst thing about New York City with that it's overcrowded 0:25:16.680 --> 0:25:19.960 all day year around people. Your bid is the one place, 0:25:20.640 --> 0:25:23.639 one place where you can be alone, not with bed bugs. 0:25:23.880 --> 0:25:27.800 You've got company. God damn this, well, this hurts my 0:25:27.880 --> 0:25:32.200 feelings and it makes uh, it makes me. I'm spiraling. 0:25:32.280 --> 0:25:34.280 I don't really know what to do. But we need 0:25:34.320 --> 0:25:36.000 to take a break. We're gonna take a break. I'm 0:25:36.000 --> 0:25:39.080 gonna get my ship together. Hopefully Clark's gonna keep spending 0:25:39.119 --> 0:25:41.840 that hard truth that we need and we'll be back 0:25:41.840 --> 0:25:44.120 with more Clark Jones and more. And my mama told me, 0:25:53.200 --> 0:26:06.520 and we are back. Yeah, we're back here with more 0:26:06.560 --> 0:26:09.400 of my mama told me more. Clark Jones. Were still 0:26:09.440 --> 0:26:13.080