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Speaker 1: Stay or go. All right, let's talk to Chris. Hi, Chris,

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Speaker 1: how you doing doing good? Chris, welcome to the program.

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Speaker 1: You found a secret stash of money that your wife

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Speaker 1: was hiding from you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Why what's the context here? I got to understand?

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Speaker 2: Okay, So, uh, I work.

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Speaker 1: She's she's a stay.

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Speaker 2: At home mom. She hasn't had like a like a

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Speaker 2: real job in a year.

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Speaker 1: Careful, careful, Yeah, well, I mean you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: like that she has not had an outside of the

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Speaker 1: home paid position. I mean, I'm trying to keep you

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Speaker 1: out of trouble here, man. I want to make sure

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Speaker 1: nothing happens to you. Okay, I can protecting.

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Speaker 2: Love where she runs the house. She's amazing, yes, but

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Speaker 2: she doesn't earn a salary from that, understand. So I

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Speaker 2: found out that she's kind of somehow been setting money aside.

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Speaker 1: Here and there.

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Speaker 2: She's got this this account and uh, and I asked

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Speaker 2: her about it. We're very honest with each other. And

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Speaker 2: she said that it started during the pandemic just because

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Speaker 2: she was you know, it was crazy time back then.

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Speaker 2: You never know, and she said, she said, it's for

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Speaker 2: both of us.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but you didn't know about it. And just to

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Speaker 1: be clear, you you so you make you bring home

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Speaker 1: the money. It goes into an account. She has access

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Speaker 1: to the account. She's taking care of the kids in

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Speaker 1: the house or whatever, and so, and she's been sort

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Speaker 1: of siphoning a little bit of money off this thing,

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Speaker 1: not telling you and putting it in a separate account.

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Speaker 1: That's for both of you, except both of you didn't

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Speaker 1: know about it. Just to be clear, Oh.

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Speaker 2: No, that's that's exactly it. And that's why I'm having

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Speaker 2: a hard time believing this because it's like, Okay, sure

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Speaker 2: it's for both of us. The pandemic was five years ago.

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Speaker 1: There's probably a lot of money in there now. She

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Speaker 1: probably got a little little hall in there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I, you know, I told him, like,

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Speaker 2: this feels like you're kind.

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Speaker 3: Of it's, for lack of a better term, it feels

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Speaker 3: like you're kind of stealing from me because you know,

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Speaker 3: she doesn't she doesn't have a job like that.

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Speaker 1: It just feels off. Okay, So she said that she's

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Speaker 1: setting this money aside just in case you never know,

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Speaker 1: is what she said. And and okay, but you didn't

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Speaker 1: know about it, and if you hadn't, but if you

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Speaker 1: hadn't seen this this account, then you wouldn't have known

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Speaker 1: it even existed. Like this money would just be there.

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Speaker 1: You didn't you didn't see it going missing, you didn't

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Speaker 1: notice it. There would just be this account over here.

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Speaker 1: You would know nothing about exactly exactly right now? Are

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Speaker 1: you a spender? Like do you have an issue? Is

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Speaker 1: there an issue in your relationship with with? Do you

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Speaker 1: spend more? Do you live outside of your means? Do

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Speaker 1: you think she's Is she doing this as like a

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Speaker 1: protective mechanism, Like, Hey, I'm a little bit more financially responsible,

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Speaker 1: so I'm setting setting money aside because I don't trust

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Speaker 1: that you'll do it or are you pretty okay?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, we I mean we do okay, there's

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Speaker 2: just like everybody like there's good months and bad months,

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Speaker 2: but like, but by no means, are we, you know,

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Speaker 2: heavy in debt or anything?

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Speaker 1: We do? We do?

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Speaker 2: Okay?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is my mom. By the way, I think

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Speaker 1: you're married. This is my dad calling because my mom

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Speaker 1: does this. My mom has she she holds money. I

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Speaker 1: don't think my dad has any idea. My grandmother did

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Speaker 1: this too, and I think that was my mom will

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Speaker 1: tell you was from the Depression. Well, my mom wasn't

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Speaker 1: alive during the depression, but my grandparents were, and I

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Speaker 1: get that.

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Speaker 5: And my mom and.

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Speaker 1: My grandmother was like this. My grandmother hid money everywhere

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Speaker 1: and her father didn't even have a beg. He kept

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Speaker 1: it all, you know, in a mattress, which is a

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Speaker 1: probably bad idea, but nonetheless, Uh, this is generational in

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Speaker 1: my family to hide money from their from spouses, and

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Speaker 1: and so I don't love it because I don't know

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Speaker 1: why she not telling you. And if you're telling, if

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Speaker 1: you're being honest with us, and you're saying that you're

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Speaker 1: responsible and that there's not an issue with spending or

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Speaker 1: an issue with saving, then I don't know why she

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Speaker 1: would need to hide it from you. I don't know

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Speaker 1: why she couldn't just and what it's for you never know.

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Speaker 1: But what is you never know is that like it's

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Speaker 1: for when I divorce you. And I mean, I don't

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Speaker 1: mean to take this to the very you know, worst extreme,

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Speaker 1: but you wouldn't have had any idea this money was

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Speaker 1: there when when things were divided. She's been saving for

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Speaker 1: five years. I mean, what kind of how much is

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Speaker 1: in there? Thousands?

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Speaker 2: Yep, it's a couple of thousand dollars.

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Speaker 1: Now, another question is does she have any like have

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Speaker 1: you guys decided, Hey, you're you're raising the kids and

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Speaker 1: taking care of the household. That is a very important job.

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Speaker 1: It's a it's a hard job. So you know you

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Speaker 1: can set aside x amount of dollars for you because

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Speaker 1: I would think it would be weird if I'm let's

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Speaker 1: say that I'm a stay at home dad and I'm

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Speaker 1: doing all this work. I'm doing a great job. I'm

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Speaker 1: taking care of the kids, I'm picking them up. You're

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Speaker 1: going to work and doing working hard too. But I

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Speaker 1: would have to come you every time I wanted to

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Speaker 1: buy something, I would have to come to you and say, hey,

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Speaker 1: can I have some money? Or can I spend on this?

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Speaker 1: Can I spend on that? As where if I had

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Speaker 1: my own job, I would probably have to do less

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Speaker 1: of that because I had my own revenue stream coming in.

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Speaker 1: So have you guys discussed maybe and this would be

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Speaker 1: something she should talk to you about. But if you

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Speaker 1: discussed the idea that she's just taking a little bit

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Speaker 1: for herself so she didn't have to ask you for

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Speaker 1: for basics, well.

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Speaker 2: We do have an agreement in sense like that. So

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Speaker 2: let's say she goes out on a girls' night. You know,

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Speaker 2: she'll let me know, Hey, I'm going out on a

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Speaker 2: girl's night, so I'm gonna be you know, touching that account. Okay,

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Speaker 2: not a problem.

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Speaker 1: Or she needs to buy something, or I'm gonna buy

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Speaker 1: it because I wouldn't love that. I wouldn't love to

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Speaker 1: have to go to my spouse every time and go, hey,

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Speaker 1: can I buy a new shirt? You know or whatever.

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Speaker 1: It's like yeah, okay. So so you know, maybe she's

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Speaker 1: just sort of allocating something for herself so she doesn't

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Speaker 1: have to do that because she shouldn't have to do

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Speaker 1: that because you guys agreed in this relationship on dividing

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Speaker 1: the roles this way. But I want to know eight

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Speaker 1: five five five three five how would you feel if

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Speaker 1: you found out that your your partner was essentially hiding

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Speaker 1: money and you know, do you have I don't. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if this has ever happened to you. Before

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Speaker 1: I want to I want to hear from the people, Chris,

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Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Man, have the radio and I see

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Speaker 1: what people have to say, good luck, thank you. A

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Speaker 1: lot of texts about this, but you know, I don't know, Kik,

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Speaker 1: you seem to think this is okay. Why wouldn't you

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Speaker 1: just say, Hey, I'm pulling five hundred bucks out a

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Speaker 1: month and I'm putting it in an account, and and

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Speaker 1: that's what I'm that's for me, and I'm gonna do

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Speaker 1: what I want to do with that, and that's rightly

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Speaker 1: none of your business.

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Speaker 6: I don't see a problem with this at all, and

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Speaker 6: I don't. And she didn't take that. She's not taking

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Speaker 6: it out to do whatever she wants to do with it.

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Speaker 6: She's taking it out for them.

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Speaker 1: But if it's for them, then why doesn't he know?

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Speaker 7: He doesn't need to know.

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Speaker 1: Of course he does if it's for them, But now

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Speaker 1: he does know.

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Speaker 6: So it's not like she's lying and hiding, I mean

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Speaker 6: lying and hiding. She told him when he.

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Speaker 1: Found it, you know, when he found it.

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Speaker 7: Yes, you have when.

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Speaker 6: You especially when you are a stay at home parent,

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Speaker 6: you need to have you a a order just in case,

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Speaker 6: you know, because the bills are depending on somebody else

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Speaker 6: going to work. You know, the way this world is,

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Speaker 6: he might lose his job to ay if he come

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Speaker 6: home and hey, y'all took his job.

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Speaker 7: I got a little fund on the side baby for

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Speaker 7: both of us. That's all she's doing.

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Speaker 1: But you're assuming she was gonna tell him about that.

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Speaker 6: Well, yes, I will tell you as long as we together. Now,

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Speaker 6: if we break up, that's my money.

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Speaker 7: You didn't need to know about it. I don't see

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Speaker 7: anything wrong with this.

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Speaker 6: I think he has a wonderful wife and he needs

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Speaker 6: to stay.

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Speaker 1: If she has, she has every right to want to

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Speaker 1: have something for herself, and I think that you just

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Speaker 1: say that to your partner, right Like my mom she

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Speaker 1: wants to have, she wants to have and my mom works,

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Speaker 1: by the way, they own a business together, so she

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Speaker 1: has every right to have a piece of that. But

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Speaker 1: like my thing is, I think my mom wants to

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Speaker 1: know that she's got something that's hers because in the past,

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Speaker 1: you know, divorce and things like that she did a

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Speaker 1: lot of things are taken from her. So I think

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Speaker 1: for her it's that's how she sleeps at night. She's

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Speaker 1: a big saver. I don't think my dad is. So

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Speaker 1: there's just a lot of elements to this. But I

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Speaker 1: don't know why you don't just disclose that. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why you don't just say I need something that's mine.

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Speaker 1: It's you still have access to it. But I need

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Speaker 1: something that's mine because I don't have the luxury in

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Speaker 1: this case of going out and selling something or doing something,

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Speaker 1: or making something and making my own money because we've

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Speaker 1: decided to buy the rules this way.

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Speaker 6: Because I don't need to say it, I don't need

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Speaker 6: you to think about my money on the side, you know,

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Speaker 6: like and for me, when I know I have a

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Speaker 6: little coin coming or an extra little pocket of money,

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Speaker 6: I'm thinking about it all day, thinking about how I

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Speaker 6: can spend it, thinking about what I can do and

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Speaker 6: invest in all this.

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Speaker 1: I don't need to invest. You should invest in paying

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Speaker 1: the toll way.

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Speaker 7: I don't need you to see I don't need you

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Speaker 7: to think about that.

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Speaker 1: You should invest in paying the irs.

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Speaker 7: Feel like you know that extra thousand dollars you got

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Speaker 7: you should pay.

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Speaker 6: No, I don't need you to send me what I

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Speaker 6: should do. I just need you to not even know

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Speaker 6: that I have it. It's called the Lord have mercy fun.

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Speaker 6: I learned about it as a five year old from

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Speaker 6: my aunt. She said, I always have some money on

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Speaker 6: the side, but then.

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Speaker 1: Just say that I don't know. Heye is it tink Keith?

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Speaker 1: I hate saying name, Hey, how you doing so. This

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Speaker 1: dude he found a little side account that his wife

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Speaker 1: with a bunch of money in it that she's been

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Speaker 1: sort of siphoning off the top, not telling him about it.

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Speaker 1: But it's for them, but he didn't know about it.

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Speaker 1: What do you think?

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Speaker 4: I think that's perfectly acceptable. Women have been doing this

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Speaker 4: since the dawn of time, especially if they've had to

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Speaker 4: be the stay at home moms. In every single culture,

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Speaker 4: you will find that women have been hoarding some sort

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Speaker 4: of financial wealth because they, as a society were just

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Speaker 4: told that they're not important and they needed an easy

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Speaker 4: way out. Indians, Indian women have their gold. I was

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Speaker 4: gifted so much goals when I got married twenty years ago,

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Speaker 4: and I have it. Yes, my husband knows about it. However,

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Speaker 4: it's not a big deal. Well did I used to

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Speaker 4: be a stay at home mom? Absolutely? And no, you

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Speaker 4: should never have to ask your significant other if you

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Speaker 4: can send any money, especially if you're putting the same

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Speaker 4: or more amount of work into that relationship into making

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Speaker 4: that family happy. And I think what happened to this

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Speaker 4: bro is that it's the situation where, oh my god,

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Speaker 4: it doesn't matter until it finally happens to me and

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Speaker 4: now I'm going to make a big deal about it.

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Speaker 4: It's like, no, no, it's you do a fantastical job. Yep.

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Speaker 1: I agree with everything you're saying. Everything you said is true,

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Speaker 1: But why not just say that, why not just establish

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Speaker 1: that in a relationship, this is what I deserve, this

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Speaker 1: is what I need, and so this is what I'm

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Speaker 1: going to do. And then and then he knows. But

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Speaker 1: it's the hiding part that makes me wonder why, because she.

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Speaker 4: Most likely does not feel confident and comfortable enough to

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Speaker 4: actually tell her spouse. And that's something that's a little

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Speaker 4: bit deeper that they need to dive into. And it's

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Speaker 4: not because I have no idea what their relationship is,

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Speaker 4: Like none of us do. Right, we're just going off

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Speaker 4: with this quote unquote sixty second video that he decided

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Speaker 4: to put out there, and so I think you just

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Speaker 4: need to figure it out on a deeper level. But

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Speaker 4: the majority of women, the reason why they don't tell

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Speaker 4: their spouse is is because there has been something that

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Speaker 4: has happened in the relationship and or they've been conditioned

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Speaker 4: by the women before them because that's what they know.

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Speaker 1: Okay, two, fair enough, You make a lot of good

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Speaker 1: points it's just for me. The transparency would be in

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Speaker 1: my IT relationship with me. I would just want to know.

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Speaker 1: But that's all good. Thank you, have a good day.

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Speaker 4: You're too glad you.

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Speaker 1: Called you, because this is what happens when you don't

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Speaker 1: know and you find it. It's like, what are you

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Speaker 1: saving up for an escape? You know, like when you

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Speaker 1: break out an Alcatraz? Like, what are we doing here, Jessica,

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Speaker 1: Hi grank Hey, you're saying, leaves a guy? Okay, well

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Speaker 1: we're jumping right now that you.

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Speaker 3: Should leave him.

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Speaker 5: Because at first I was saying that this must be

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Speaker 5: at least one hundred thousand.

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Speaker 8: She's been, you know, skimming off the top.

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Speaker 1: But how you do one hundred thousand? Are these people?

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Speaker 5: The way he was calling in about his wife, I

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Speaker 5: was like, oh, that's huge, So what do you say?

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Speaker 5: A two thousand dollars? I'm like, did he even just

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Speaker 5: call in about two thousand dollars? Because that's just the

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Speaker 5: thing that because I'm a numbers girl, so that kind

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Speaker 5: of pretty much calmed down to four hundred bucks a

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Speaker 5: year thirty three dollars a month, which is nothing, and

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Speaker 5: she might feel some kind of way about not earning money.

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Speaker 9: On her own.

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Speaker 8: It just might want to.

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Speaker 5: Have something like they say, oh school, you have a

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Speaker 5: little money set of south.

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Speaker 8: For a rainy day, and there's nothing wrong with that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, fair enough, fair enough, thank you, Jessica.

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Speaker 2: You're welcome.

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Speaker 1: Have a good day. No, I mean, hey, look, I

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Speaker 1: got no issue any of this except for the lack

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Speaker 1: of transparency. Hey Megan, Hi, Hey, what's going on? Hey,

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Speaker 1: good morning, welcome, thanks for listening. What do you think

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Speaker 1: So she's planning on leaving you?

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Speaker 5: No? No, no, uh, that's true.

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Speaker 3: That's true.

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Speaker 10: No, it could be a ton of different things. Well,

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Speaker 10: like I was saying, my husband, he's the one that

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Speaker 10: works so but he also has a separate account for

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Speaker 10: me and then this hidden account that I didn't know

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Speaker 10: about until I knew about it.

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Speaker 5: But I think maybe if it were for me, I

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Speaker 5: would probably be.

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Speaker 10: Using it to like you said, not ask him for

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Speaker 10: so much. But this would be a help that I

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Speaker 10: pull from, like for the house, like.

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Speaker 1: Sundryes, toilet trees.

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Speaker 10: Things where it's it's petty, but it's important. So I'm

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Speaker 10: not going to keep coming and asking you. Meanwhile, if

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Speaker 10: I want to buy a new shirt or if I

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Speaker 10: want to buy some jewelry. Yeah, I'm definitely going to

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Speaker 10: put that bug in your ear.

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Speaker 8: So you can take it out of the account.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, all right, yeah, no, I appreciate you. Have

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Speaker 1: a good day, you too. Oh yeah, we got a

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Speaker 1: secret bank account. Hey, visit verg vergs verge. You got

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Speaker 1: a secret bank account? How much in there? How long

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Speaker 1: have you been doing.

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Speaker 8: Bence? I was eleven?

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah.

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Speaker 9: My grandfather started a bank account for me at his

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Speaker 9: credit union and he would put money in there on

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Speaker 9: my birthday.

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Speaker 8: All the times. And I have I basically take like

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Speaker 8: one hundred tis three hundred dollars off the top of

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Speaker 8: my check and pop it in there every time.

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Speaker 1: Okay. And you're married and you or your partner whomever

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Speaker 1: doesn't know about this, correct, But is it your money?

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Speaker 1: Those like I say yours? It's kind of both of you.

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Speaker 1: Is it coming out of your paycheck or is it

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Speaker 1: coming out of his? And he doesn't know.

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Speaker 5: Well, So.

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Speaker 9: I was working for five years prior to that, I

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Speaker 9: was a.

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Speaker 8: Stay at home mom for ten.

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Speaker 9: Right now I'm on medical leave, and so it's about

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Speaker 9: the side hustle. And I don't feel that my side

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Speaker 9: hustle has anything to do with him.

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Speaker 1: Now. But what's your hesitation to tell him nothing you

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Speaker 1: said is wrong? I just wonder what is your hesitation

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Speaker 1: to let him know that you're doing this? Sure?

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Speaker 9: Sure, he he got some trauma and he had no

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Speaker 9: control over.

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Speaker 8: His childhood, so he has OCD and likes to try

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Speaker 8: and get his hands on everything.

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Speaker 9: And there's just certain things that he has no business

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Speaker 9: being involved with, including what I send money on.

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Speaker 8: And I used to have to ask him.

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Speaker 9: For money for things I needed and when he told

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Speaker 9: me no, I was like, Okay, well we need a

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Speaker 9: different course of action here.

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Speaker 1: Marriage sounds rad like I just can't wait. Aren't you excited?

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Speaker 10: Yes?

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Speaker 1: God parting forever? And just yeah, amazing you really telling it?

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Speaker 9: Because yeah, marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done.

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Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Yeah. To hide your money, apparently,

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Speaker 1: hide your kids, hide your wife.

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Speaker 3: Ryan, hide your money.

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Speaker 9: I got a little college fund for the kids.

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Speaker 5: Go in.

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Speaker 9: You know, I got my funds.

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Speaker 8: So if I need to do whatever, I have.

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Speaker 1: A go bag ready. Apparently, say you can get out

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Speaker 1: in the middle of the night. Also have I go

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Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, he blink twice. If you need help, Okay,

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Speaker 1: call us anytime, have a good day.

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Speaker 2: Hey you do.