Speaker 1: Look mare, oh, I see you my own look over
Speaker 1: there is that culture.
Speaker 2: Yes, goodness lost cult ding losing just gave parents to
Speaker 2: the camera.
Speaker 1: It was involuntary.
Speaker 2: Well we we do praise God. Praise God. By the way,
Speaker 2: just so everyone knows. Moving forward, this is officially a
Speaker 2: Christian judaeo Christian podcast.
Speaker 1: Mmmm.
Speaker 2: If you have anything to say negative about the Lord
Speaker 2: and Savior of Jesus Christ, Old or New Testament, missy, missy, yeah.
Speaker 3: You had a really tragic energy coming in. Not tragic energy,
Speaker 3: but you were a little ornery.
Speaker 1: You know what.
Speaker 2: I actually, as I was walking here today, I was like,
Speaker 2: am I gonna show up as my bitchy self today?
Speaker 1: Or am I gonna Am I gonna put up a front?
Speaker 2: No, but I'm choosing to be authentic today and say
Speaker 2: I'm in a bitchy mood because of two things. And
Speaker 2: you know when two things go wrong and then everything
Speaker 2: else is the third thing.
Speaker 1: We know for the domino effect happen.
Speaker 3: Now go on, dominoes have to fall, uh huh, or
Speaker 3: one has to fall, one has to knock into the second.
Speaker 1: That's actually real culture number eight.
Speaker 2: For the dos to fall, one has to fall into
Speaker 2: the second.
Speaker 1: Not so tell us what happened.
Speaker 2: Well, the first thing was today I was coming back
Speaker 2: into New York City, well way, thank you so much
Speaker 2: from Long Island, New York. Because it was, of course
Speaker 2: the day of Mother's Mother's Day. I spent the day
Speaker 2: with Katrina and Co and I came back in today
Speaker 2: and was going to open my AirPods. Classic comedy. They
Speaker 2: fell out onto the train tracks and would you believe
Speaker 2: there actually was a moment where I was like, can
Speaker 2: I go on the train tracks and get my air pods?
Speaker 2: And I said, can you imagine that type of death
Speaker 2: for me?
Speaker 1: Third rail? And then you were gonna get railed tonight? Okay.
Speaker 2: So then the second thing was I get a text
Speaker 2: like immediately after the air pods are gone, I did
Speaker 2: not hop on the track that says my Dick appointments
Speaker 2: that I had to cancel.
Speaker 1: And I wanted to discuss the reason that he gave.
Speaker 2: We don't know the reason. We're about to get the
Speaker 2: big no, and I said, the snake is eating its
Speaker 2: own tail. In the gay community, when it comes to
Speaker 2: reasons for canceling on dick.
Speaker 1: Appointment, I've heard them all.
Speaker 2: This is what I've used. Having an emergency with his
Speaker 2: closest friend. I said, you know what, just say that
Speaker 2: your friend needs you. When you said closest friend, that's
Speaker 2: what that was the tell I'm having an emergency with
Speaker 2: my closest friend and they really need me. Dot dot
Speaker 2: dot really wanted to hang out, wondering about later or
Speaker 2: maybe when you get back to New York. This is fine,
Speaker 2: this is not a big deal. I'm just saying I've
Speaker 2: used that excuse. I'm not sure what the better excuse
Speaker 2: would be a excuse.
Speaker 3: Those are two severe words that are used in proximity
Speaker 3: to each other.
Speaker 2: That is suspicious, emergency, closest emergency, and closest friend. Like,
Speaker 2: it's not just something came up. An emergency came up.
Speaker 2: Now it's just a friend, No, the closest friend. So
Speaker 2: what I'm saying is we need to come up with
Speaker 2: new especially, we need new excuses. And I would love
Speaker 2: to brainstorm today. Yeah, with our noted queer guests, one
Speaker 2: of the biggest queers. That's gonna be really fun to be.
Speaker 2: But I think that I really needed the dick after
Speaker 2: the AirPods went away. I was already excited about it.
Speaker 2: You know who wants to fuck you? My dad? We
Speaker 2: can't talk about it.
Speaker 1: No, I actually don't tell me what I can't talk about.
Speaker 1: I'm in a bad one.
Speaker 3: It's comfortable with you talking about your father being attracted
Speaker 3: to me.
Speaker 2: So Bowen has been sort of hitting the gym, and
Speaker 2: you better get comfortable with lost coach becoming the poster
Speaker 2: children for sex because we're working so hard in the gym.
Speaker 1: I went to Berry's today, But this isn't about me.
Speaker 2: This is about bo My dad said, when you did
Speaker 2: the Mother's day bit with your mom, who was perfect,
Speaker 2: very very sweet, my dad goes, Bowen looks fucking great,
Speaker 2: and he's saying fuck more than ever. Boone looks fucking great.
Speaker 2: Look he's been in the fucking gym, fucking looking toned,
Speaker 2: big arms.
Speaker 1: You don't have to know anything, Okay, don't.
Speaker 2: Piss me off. Go ahead, calm yourself down because you're
Speaker 2: out of control.
Speaker 3: This is just is this what they call transference. I'm
Speaker 3: getting what.
Speaker 2: I'm getting on he rubs himself out. I'm getting transference.
Speaker 2: This is an aspicious day. On auspicious day, we have
Speaker 2: our guests joining us, backed by popular demand.
Speaker 1: Literally, they beg, they beg us to do.
Speaker 3: They beg and pleating it wasn't the right time, and
Speaker 3: this is the right time because guess what, it's day
Speaker 3: one of their much deserved time off before previews begin
Speaker 3: for Oh Mary on.
Speaker 1: Broad Way, get bigger than Broadway.
Speaker 2: Is no Broadway, there's no way up, there's not any
Speaker 2: bigger stage. A lot of people have been asking, do
Speaker 2: you I swear to God this is This is a
Speaker 2: conversation I have constantly with people in the community. How
Speaker 2: do you think they'll make it bigger and enter? I
Speaker 2: don't think they have to see. That's answer every quingle
Speaker 2: individual bigger and better. Shut up, I said, it's sitter.
Speaker 2: It's already big and good. It's already big and better,
Speaker 2: bigger and better. Look, I'm so happy that you have
Speaker 2: I see now I'm pissed off.
Speaker 1: We're so angry. What do you what else do you want?
Speaker 1: It is? I'm sorry, and I'm and I said this.
Speaker 3: I had the privilege of going opening night at the
Speaker 3: Lucial Hotel. I walked out of that saying, that is
Speaker 3: the funniest comedy play ever written, ever produced, ever performed.
Speaker 1: Why do we want more? Stop it? Let me sell
Speaker 1: you something.
Speaker 3: Certainly stop it with that that colonial attitude.
Speaker 1: Certainly the best thing that's been at the Lucille Rtel.
Speaker 2: Say, hey, all right, let's not the best thing that's
Speaker 2: everything before? What about the Lyceum Seum? More like I
Speaker 2: see them all, I see them all flopping at the Lyceum.
Speaker 2: I see everything. There's been no good theater there's been
Speaker 2: there's been nothing now salt until now. And we were
Speaker 2: all talking about that. Actually, right before we got on Mike,
Speaker 2: we were all saying, how they've decade. We'll call him
Speaker 2: in and they said, thank god, I decided to do
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 1: Not since what show? Has there not been good made?
Speaker 2: There's been anything good on stage since? Name and Sarah
Speaker 2: just Ad Parker agrees, agrees. June twenty sixth, previews begin
Speaker 2: twelve weeks. I see him. Only give this person a
Speaker 2: fucking break. Please give Conrad Rickamore a goddamn brain.
Speaker 1: No, I say, continue to work them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he needs to stay busy, keep the voices at Bay.
Speaker 2: Crazy people every want to make show. James svery one
Speaker 2: in the show is insane thing, and the people backstage
Speaker 2: are even crazier. Hannah Sololo fucking god, Hannah and Peter squawking,
Speaker 2: oh my god, selling their little bobbles, selling their bobbles backstage,
Speaker 2: trying the best they can to get on stage.
Speaker 1: Good luck. I say, this one's never getting sick.
Speaker 3: Have fun with the little marbles and spilling them all
Speaker 3: over the floor. This one is never going to trip.
Speaker 3: This one's never getting sick. And we're going to see
Speaker 3: the Bloomers spoiling the show. Yeah, I'm spoiling the show.
Speaker 2: Well here's a spoiler. It's incredible, and so is our guests.
Speaker 2: And when I say they beg I mean the audience begs.
Speaker 2: The audience literally begs us to have callback because they
Speaker 2: don't like our other episode.
Speaker 1: They get they get furious. It's okay, what can you do.
Speaker 2: In our polarizing flop era? And it ends today with
Speaker 2: our guests, the One.
Speaker 1: And only God, don't talk when we're talking. Don't talk
Speaker 1: when we're talking. That was rude. You don't you have
Speaker 1: enough stage? You are trying to get me ruined?
Speaker 3: Yeah, how so I never said I'm never said that
Speaker 3: there's never been any good theater.
Speaker 1: Are they going to believe you know me or you well, you're.
Speaker 3: Gonna get me in trouble because I'm part of the community. Now,
Speaker 3: I love every show that's ever been written, that's ever
Speaker 3: been performed.
Speaker 1: What are the top three shows, top three shows of
Speaker 1: all time? Yeah, oh Mary, we're no our town, our
Speaker 1: town Thornton, My town Thornton and the town. Oh love
Speaker 1: that Blake Lively? Was Blake Lively come back to Broadway? Blake?
Speaker 3: I would like to say that, My god, absolutely, Arianna
Speaker 3: come back to Broadway. So Cole would do this bit
Speaker 3: in the day where they pretend to be like, how
Speaker 3: about you tell it?
Speaker 2: I have butcher.
Speaker 3: I just it's a character that's like all my other characters.
Speaker 3: It's just crazy woman, crazy crazy woman. I all she
Speaker 3: cares about is getting Ariana Grande back on Broadway.
Speaker 2: So you're in the right place, you're the direct line. Well, no, Ariana,
Speaker 2: this is all set up to say.
Speaker 3: First day on set of Wicked, my friend Cola Scola,
Speaker 3: there's this bit where they pretend to be this old woman,
Speaker 3: this theater going woman who all she wants, she goes
Speaker 3: to every show, but all she.
Speaker 1: Wants Ariana come back to broad You missed your sweetheart.
Speaker 1: Get on this side of the footlights again. I see
Speaker 1: you at the shows. Yeah, esus do something besides geez,
Speaker 1: come on, j R.
Speaker 2: B come on, you said that before coming on the
Speaker 2: my too all the same.
Speaker 1: No, No, you are getting enough.
Speaker 2: Can you imagine what you just did I have from
Speaker 2: my mouth?
Speaker 1: I was I was getting mucus up. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: We need to start this over.
Speaker 2: Let's start this.
Speaker 3: We need to start this overst I think the listeners
Speaker 3: need to know that I've been doing eight shows a
Speaker 3: week for a long time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, explain, explain is tired?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's the pre show ritual? Grads, past steels, adamizer,
Speaker 3: what do you do?
Speaker 1: I do? I vocal steam. I meet with Tony Rob. God,
Speaker 1: he's good. God, he's good. People. Forget the people, forget
Speaker 1: how good he is. Community. Yeah, yeah, for sure, But
Speaker 1: I don't want to forget about the dick appointment excuses.
Speaker 1: What's what's your sort of whole read on that situation?
Speaker 1: You know what I think? Just saying I need to reschedule.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I need to reschedule because it's so anxiety inducing,
Speaker 3: because then you have to be like, oh no, I
Speaker 3: hope your friend's okay.
Speaker 1: And then as.
Speaker 3: Now I'm worried about this happen close closest friend. What
Speaker 3: kind of emergency is not for nothing?
Speaker 2: But if it's a real emergency. We might not be
Speaker 2: able to reschedule. You're gonna be grieving. Yeah, this is
Speaker 2: a emergency with your closest friend. How do you know
Speaker 2: Thursday is gonna work? You don't know that emergency with
Speaker 2: your closest and emergency with your closest friend.
Speaker 1: You don't know anything. You can't plan out anything. Text
Speaker 1: them tomorrow. How's your friend doing? Well? I think I might?
Speaker 1: You know what? How's your friend doing?
Speaker 2: It's like it was the kind of thing where it
Speaker 2: was like it went a little bit beyond like disappointment
Speaker 2: because of how far it went in the in the sexting,
Speaker 2: and even there even was some verbal there were some
Speaker 2: voice messages sent back and forth. Do y' all do that?
Speaker 1: Gay culture is gay courting.
Speaker 3: Gay courtship is over promising, under delivering, constantly over promising,
Speaker 3: under delivering.
Speaker 1: Don't you think my mind went to the Olympics. My
Speaker 1: mind went to carry strokes around the corner. You're going,
Speaker 1: you're going.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll be there because I have to promote the show. Right, yeah,
Speaker 3: twelve weeks. When when does that end? I can't give him.
Speaker 1: Help us five six seven, carry the one.
Speaker 2: Carry the one. He came up in the same community.
Speaker 2: We came up in the we both came up in
Speaker 2: the same community. Carry the one at the same time.
Speaker 1: I don't know anymore, but in Paris, I'll be in
Speaker 1: Paris for the Olympics promoting Oh Mary. Yeah, do you
Speaker 1: think they know who she is?
Speaker 2: Being that she's I'm reading in my notes a former
Speaker 2: First Lady of the United States.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I think a lot of people forget. Yeah,
Speaker 3: well people forget can I can I be honest to
Speaker 3: say you were on Seth It was perfect Seth Myers,
Speaker 3: who a friend of the community. Yeah, and little too friendly.
Speaker 3: I think total gates. He's arriving at that. Let him cook,
Speaker 3: let him, let him come out, let him cook, let
Speaker 3: him come on terms. Right, So you said on his
Speaker 3: show that you did almost no research because and I
Speaker 3: think this is so smart, because you would have written
Speaker 3: jokes that were like, well, that's going to get a
Speaker 3: laugh because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I got a lot of people, a lot
Speaker 1: of it's been fucking annoying. No no, no, no, like just
Speaker 1: two people being like, oh, this person does no research
Speaker 1: and now they get to play on Broadway. Yes, actually, wow,
Speaker 1: you don't understand. I understand decades of work that went
Speaker 1: into this play. Yes, and has been Yeah, fifteen years, fifteen, eighteen, nineteen.
Speaker 1: Oh God, carry the one, please, caryone else carry the one? Yeah,
Speaker 1: someone carry the one. Someone else carry it. Carry at
Speaker 1: their point you at home. So why do you think
Speaker 1: she was so crazy married? Yeah? What do you think was?
Speaker 1: I have no idea. She was a sircle, that woman.
Speaker 1: She was. She was kind of silly. Yeah, she's just
Speaker 1: a silly little girl, right. She liked to have fun
Speaker 1: with her friends, go shopping and yeah, you know, an
Speaker 1: ap tighter down. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh that's my worst nightmare if I were a cabaret singer.
Speaker 3: So the character of Mary, and I think Mary was
Speaker 3: a cabaret star. Yes, yeah, it doesn't work out. You
Speaker 3: marry this guy he's president, and then you're like, I
Speaker 3: would go crazy. Yeah, it is among us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've talked a lot to Michelle about this Obama.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, because she really wanted to sing. Really,
Speaker 3: she's really been wanting to sing.
Speaker 1: What stopped her her bad voice?
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: They released a picture of Michelle Obama the other day.
Speaker 2: She was really high, high, like she was having fun,
Speaker 2: like a resort or something.
Speaker 1: Well, look and they're going to get me in trouble
Speaker 1: with more than one community tonight. Okay, the DC community.
Speaker 1: You're not even gonna be able to go down and
Speaker 1: do it at the Lincoln Theater. Tony, Bye, Bye, Bye,
Speaker 1: Gone gone.
Speaker 2: Thanks a lot of reactions to the Tony Knams this year.
Speaker 2: Oh there's too many. I actually should be one award, yeah,
Speaker 2: for the whole show, for the whole show, with how
Speaker 2: many nominations, just like two should be down to like
Speaker 2: two people. Oh that's good. I love the elections heartbreaking.
Speaker 1: It should be Hillary versus Trump? Yeah, and god yeah,
Speaker 1: and would be a better actor, wouldn't he? I mean
Speaker 1: Hillary depends on the show, right.
Speaker 2: You're actually right, Well, Hillary can produce stuff.
Speaker 3: Trump could produce stuffs, but Hillary couldn't do you know,
Speaker 3: like angels in America, whereas Trump could.
Speaker 1: Trump will be an amazing Trump would be amazing. I
Speaker 1: mean he knew him him, that's his mentor.
Speaker 3: I think he'd be a good what's his name prior Trump?
Speaker 1: Prior Trump dazzles as prior. Do you see it?
Speaker 2: I can see it because better Prior dazzles the word
Speaker 2: Trump over angels. And that's where we're going. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: mean that's what's going to happen. Make Angels in America
Speaker 2: great again? Wow, oh my god, title of that.
Speaker 1: Make Angels in America great again? Oh Trump? Where Dazzles
Speaker 1: has prior? Trump, Dazzles has prior. You have to say
Speaker 1: it in that voice.
Speaker 2: Now, we're in hot water with the Kushner community, okay,
Speaker 2: and the Mike Nichols community. That's okay. No, they would
Speaker 2: love it.
Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, their checks are clearing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely true. Which you don't want to put butts
Speaker 2: in seats? Put Trump on Broadway.
Speaker 1: We're all scared to say it. Put Trumps on Broadway.
Speaker 1: If you want to.
Speaker 2: Say around the boards, I'm saying, I'm saying, why are
Speaker 2: we so afraid of talent?
Speaker 1: What are we.
Speaker 2: Like it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think America is too afraid, I know of Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why we're in this.
Speaker 3: That's why we're in this mess. If we just put
Speaker 3: them on Broadway.
Speaker 1: This is honestly not not an answer.
Speaker 3: If I were to go to him right now, yeah
Speaker 3: and say, yeah, look if you drop out my twelve weeks,
Speaker 3: oh Mary, would you do that? No note at all,
Speaker 3: I don't care who it would say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's really noble. This is my time,
Speaker 1: it's my year. Of course it is.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to give up. Thank you. I
Speaker 1: do think we could recast some of your castmates.
Speaker 2: A let's get them out of there, but Trump and
Speaker 2: put Trump Yeah sorry, Scully, Yeahlly later Trump would be
Speaker 2: a great Mary's teacher. Yeah, because honestly, Trump would get
Speaker 2: the same reaction as James when he walks out, just
Speaker 2: walks out.
Speaker 1: In the audience and goes, oh fuck yeah, and then sorry,
Speaker 1: can we cuss? I forget?
Speaker 2: It's no, this is Judeo Christian but something. The whole
Speaker 2: religion is like.
Speaker 1: It's fake. How did you find that out?
Speaker 2: It's about control anyway, as I put my coffee all
Speaker 2: over myself.
Speaker 1: You know, I went to the museum the other day.
Speaker 1: I brought my mom to the Brooklyn Museum.
Speaker 2: Lovely.
Speaker 1: Congratulations by the way, thank you. You've been meaning to
Speaker 1: get there for years. I learned something hard. Together.
Speaker 2: Most most empires last three four hundred years. Yeah, we're due,
Speaker 2: We're done, I think, we think so. You know what
Speaker 2: what podcast? I love?
Speaker 3: Yes, the Kelsey brothers. The Kelsey brothers, who are the
Speaker 3: Kelsey brothers, Travis and Travis and his brother and they
Speaker 3: have a podcast and they're actually very charming on No,
Speaker 3: they're great.
Speaker 2: They actually they actually.
Speaker 3: Oh wait, that's how I first heard. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 3: because they started it. They started, they started, and then
Speaker 3: you guys kind of the first time gay people have
Speaker 3: taken from straight straight.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: This podcast calls Fall of Civilization and every episode is
Speaker 3: wake up, wake up. Every episode is a news of
Speaker 3: a like you wanted them on.
Speaker 1: Now they're here. They're talking about the false civilization and
Speaker 1: yeah they're being a didact Roman Britain. Yeah, the fall
Speaker 1: of Roman Britain, the Bronze Age collapse.
Speaker 3: As in like when Britain was Roman, Yes, yes, and
Speaker 3: like how that fell apart?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, you know. It's fascinating. It's really interesting stuff,
Speaker 1: and I think I think people don't realize. Like, but
Speaker 1: here's the thing about history.
Speaker 3: I get annoyed when people are like, we're doomed to
Speaker 3: repeat the mistakes, and like, I think we're doomed no
Speaker 3: matter what, even if we do know the history. That's
Speaker 3: just how not me. No, No, congrat thank you. Can
Speaker 3: I tell the story?
Speaker 1: Col You can tell it, but you better be careful.
Speaker 1: I don't know what story you're talking about.
Speaker 3: I basically had a little mental breakdown over the summer.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that was hilarious. We were all laughing about.
Speaker 2: Remember was screaming on fire.
Speaker 3: I go to Amsterdam. You were in Ghent at the time.
Speaker 3: You were in Gains at the time. I was posted
Speaker 3: to my close friend's going to be in Amsterdam. You
Speaker 3: said maybe I'll come see you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I said, I will pay for a hotel room if
Speaker 3: you come and hang out with me. And you were
Speaker 3: so kind to do that kind. I was in Ghent. Everyone, yeah,
Speaker 3: and you can. And then we had a lovely day
Speaker 3: together and we were in the park. Yeah was it
Speaker 3: you or me? We were just like, we should go
Speaker 3: see a play tonight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't remember. I can't God, I can't remember
Speaker 1: who it was. And you guys, we're like, let's go
Speaker 1: see lay Miss. And then we looked up tickets for
Speaker 1: that night, bought two tickets to lay Miss, sat in
Speaker 1: the mezzanine, all in ducks in Dutch and the eliest.
Speaker 3: Not bad, bad language, bad, young and hilarious songs in Dutch.
Speaker 1: No, thank you? Did any song survive the language? I
Speaker 1: mean one day more was pretty cool. Yeah, Harmony the harmony. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's good. That was great. That was really good. That
Speaker 1: was too good. John right here, Trump, look out, I'm
Speaker 1: coming for you. Hey, Donald Trump, I'm coming for you. Baby.
Speaker 1: It was a lovely time.
Speaker 3: It was one of the worst days of my life,
Speaker 3: well for me, it was, it was, it was, It
Speaker 3: was incredible. Thank you for being there watching Lames in Dutch.
Speaker 3: It was going to the opera, you know exactly?
Speaker 2: Now did y'all sort of do a post mortem after?
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: We just couldn't. We were so moved. Were just all
Speaker 1: we could do is walk. Yeah. Just a beautiful city
Speaker 1: for that type of thing. Oh yeah, be careful, very
Speaker 1: lightly tread much lighter. Sorry, I'm just feeling.
Speaker 3: Reeling from from this from the subway, from the AirPods
Speaker 3: went down.
Speaker 1: There's gonna be no dick in my butt tonight. I
Speaker 1: think there's still time. There's still time. I did think
Speaker 1: about getting like on the apps and you're like.
Speaker 3: Who, Yeah, no, Samantha who, Christina Apple, Christina Applegate, who
Speaker 3: I share a birthday with.
Speaker 1: So please please be careful, Please be careful. That must
Speaker 1: be world, Please be careful.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, me, Joe DiMaggio, Christina Applegate, that's pretty good.
Speaker 1: That's really that's a really good trade. Yeah, day over,
Speaker 1: day over.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Now, what are the hopes and dreams for this
Speaker 3: time off you have before the previews start?
Speaker 1: I want to get back to me. Yeah, I believed that.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you, thank you.
Speaker 2: Don't don't let this change well, I think what's happening.
Speaker 2: What don't let this success change you. I think that
Speaker 2: one thing that everyone's been talking about in the group
Speaker 2: thread that you're not in is that you've changed you
Speaker 2: and you've become a big, big Yeah. Sorry, you went
Speaker 2: to the met gala. That actually happened. And if you
Speaker 2: think I'm not going to ask about it and who
Speaker 2: you sat next to, you didn't, you didn't correct, You're
Speaker 2: just going to step on that water. Well I'm not
Speaker 2: going to forget the question, and you're going to run
Speaker 2: out of water and at some point, at some point
Speaker 2: you're going to have to come up for air boom,
Speaker 2: not that, and you asked for them to come back.
Speaker 1: Can we please? No, we don't have to talk about it.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, can we talk about the abuse? Precious?
Speaker 1: Oh you batched every infection? Can we talk about in
Speaker 1: your household? I'm talking about what did you say.
Speaker 2: Talking about I'm sort of making it up now, but really,
Speaker 2: Mariah was never better at acting than that.
Speaker 1: Moment around it?
Speaker 2: Can I tell you something?
Speaker 1: No? Watch? Can I just throw it out there anyway?
Speaker 1: Watch Glitter again, It's not bad. I've never seen it.
Speaker 2: Do yourself a favor.
Speaker 1: I will have movies. You have a lot of time off,
Speaker 1: so you know what you gotta watch.
Speaker 2: And this is one's real suggestion. One's not watch Glitter. Lol,
Speaker 2: that's the bit you really should watch. The idea of
Speaker 2: you both of them.
Speaker 1: I was I and that man is made out of milk.
Speaker 3: Well, Matt's theories that he's AI. Now do you like
Speaker 3: him any better now that you've seen this film?
Speaker 1: So get this.
Speaker 2: I'm not convinced he's not a I, but you don't.
Speaker 2: But I am a big fan, and I think if
Speaker 2: Nick Gallaxy is a I, then we need to just
Speaker 2: cut Fran loose, Yeah, and start doing the AI thing.
Speaker 2: Because if Nick Gallaxy and is AI, which is still
Speaker 2: my theory, then I think that's.
Speaker 1: It's let him take our jobs. Yeah, we're not booking
Speaker 1: them anyway, sweetheart, He's made out of milk. Explain, go on,
Speaker 1: look at him. Oh yeah, yeah, imagine taking a bite
Speaker 1: out of his cheek. Actually, I think you could. He
Speaker 1: is milk duddish. Yeah, and I say this in a
Speaker 1: very like horny way. I think he's very attractive. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I had a theory that people's assholes are the same
Speaker 3: color as their lips. I think you're wrong. I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna I'm gonna tell you you're wrong.
Speaker 2: So brown, don't presume, then, don't presume the presume that's
Speaker 2: actually roller coaster number eight.
Speaker 1: Don't presume. No, that's not the color of my Let
Speaker 1: me see mine.
Speaker 2: No wait, no, wait, wait, wait, hold on, Okay, it's
Speaker 2: going to be the picture. Okay, we all just took
Speaker 2: a picture of our beautiful lips, and I don't know.
Speaker 1: Your whole can't be that color. I can't see it.
Speaker 2: Yes, you care, squad over your phone. You've never taken
Speaker 2: a picture of your boody hole. No, cold, you've seen it.
Speaker 2: I've not seen Cole's hole.
Speaker 3: I've seen a gorgeous shot on a close friends of
Speaker 3: Cole's amazing ass. Oh sure, well, an amazing ass. I
Speaker 3: mean it's easy. It catches the light so perfectly. It's
Speaker 3: hard to take a bad give give yourself some credit. Okay, okay,
Speaker 3: I'll give myself a little credit. Friends, I remember that
Speaker 3: it's not the close friends, it's it's it's another thing.
Speaker 3: It's another thing, it's another secret, third thing. It's a fine.
Speaker 1: I had a horny I guess I still do. I mean,
Speaker 1: is it done what? I don't really maintain mine me neither.
Speaker 2: I think I took six pictures during like the horniest
Speaker 2: time of the pandemic.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, well, we have to be we have
Speaker 1: to forgive ourselves for everything we did in twenty twenty.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, truly, like my clothes.
Speaker 3: Especially electing Joe Biden, especially Biden. We should have given
Speaker 3: Trump another chance.
Speaker 2: We're giving him a chance on stage.
Speaker 1: You're right, You're right now.
Speaker 3: I think O'mary would be the perfect show for him.
Speaker 3: I think he would be so good as Mary in
Speaker 3: a way. Okay, wait, let's really actually dreamcast Trump in something.
Speaker 1: So you're saying, oh, Mary, gypsy, heartbreaking, heart breaking, haunting.
Speaker 2: Why did I do it?
Speaker 1: None of it? Get me? No, no no, no no
Speaker 1: no no no no. I'm gonna have to leave follow
Speaker 1: me in the background. One else. It's an original character.
Speaker 1: It's an original character.
Speaker 2: Listen, there's a Ronald dum Ronald, there's a Patty sized
Speaker 2: hole shaped hole and Broadway. Yeah, and he could fill
Speaker 2: that out. Appeal to Patty now to return to Broadway.
Speaker 3: She is called the roommate her and me a pharaoh
Speaker 3: at the Booth Theater.
Speaker 1: You're kidding. She was just being like dramatic about the quitting.
Speaker 1: You're kidding, You're kidding.
Speaker 3: Oh wait, sorry, you think women aren't allowed to change
Speaker 3: their minds?
Speaker 1: Or wait, what, what's this?
Speaker 2: What I'm saying is what you said before you got
Speaker 2: on episode, which is that women are crazy, hysterical and
Speaker 2: can't make up their minds. That's what you said.
Speaker 1: I am going to kill you.
Speaker 2: No AirPod, no dick, Why should I keep living?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Great color for you?
Speaker 2: And they're popping? And you did that on purpose? Did
Speaker 2: I did? I did?
Speaker 1: You're a warm tone? Well, this is the other thing
Speaker 1: that I wanted to talk about color theory. I really
Speaker 1: want to see one of those color theory people that
Speaker 1: the things are. I'm obsessed with. Me and Claudia O. Doherty. Yes,
Speaker 1: love Claudia high sweetheart, great legends go to bed. We
Speaker 1: really sorry. People are probably like angry, my hoarse voice,
Speaker 1: But we really wanted to see there's this woman in
Speaker 1: LA who does the color theory thing, who was the
Speaker 1: wardrobe supervisor on The Nanny. Oh my, well, she has
Speaker 1: many Emmys. She knows what she's doing. She knows what
Speaker 1: she's doing. But then we looked and the prices were
Speaker 1: like yeah, literally, like I can buy half a ticket
Speaker 1: to Oh Mary for that. Oh it was like one
Speaker 1: thousand dollars per.
Speaker 3: Session. Or maybe it was like there's you. There's someone
Speaker 3: who does that. He right in New York City, I know,
Speaker 3: but you live. Did they design costumes for The Nanny?
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know what to tell.
Speaker 1: Have you have had that done? No? I want you So.
Speaker 1: I was just watching an asmur video you last night.
Speaker 1: Of course, why do they do it? Of course he
Speaker 1: wears I don't even think what.
Speaker 2: Is that stuff?
Speaker 3: Yeah, he does it bled all over ill. Well that's
Speaker 3: classically olive tone. But I think that may seem neutrals.
Speaker 2: We want to know this is the truth. I actually
Speaker 2: came here today and I was gonna wear a yellow shirt.
Speaker 2: I was going to actually follow up on the Taylor
Speaker 2: Tomlinson episode Yes, where I said that I bought a
Speaker 2: yellow shirt at a museum, and I never wear it
Speaker 2: because why would I. I actually put it on today
Speaker 2: to wear it to this. It looked at myself and said,
Speaker 2: this is not my color.
Speaker 3: But you don't know if it's like, oh, it's the
Speaker 3: cool undertones. It's the blue undertones of the yellow that
Speaker 3: don't suit you. You probably do have a good yellow.
Speaker 2: You probably can, I say, when I'm a little bit
Speaker 2: more tan, which is happening, it's in process, I can
Speaker 2: do yellow, but this was not.
Speaker 1: We are not there yet at this juncture.
Speaker 3: And then the step beyond that is like, are you
Speaker 3: a cool yellow or a warm yellow?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: And I would never know what this is, so I
Speaker 2: guess I have to do this.
Speaker 1: This is why it's dangerous to be like for us, yeah,
Speaker 1: because we don't know what we're talking about, and so
Speaker 1: for us to just sort of pause at all of
Speaker 1: these Oh I'm yellow, I'm blue, I'm dangerous.
Speaker 2: You're so good with color. We've all seen the apartment
Speaker 2: thank you? Not all well, it was in the pages
Speaker 2: of Oh what was that?
Speaker 1: Remember? It was in a magazine apartment therapy, I think
Speaker 1: you're thinking of, or the New York Post or I
Speaker 1: don't remember.
Speaker 2: I have a really good relationship with the Post. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I do. Yeah, Well, the reviewed the show. Look, the
Speaker 2: Post has always been very good to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And what's your favorite review? You've got probably the
Speaker 1: long one because they said everything. No, they went they
Speaker 1: went there, honey. They talked about the play. Me, yes,
Speaker 1: like everything that you can imagine.
Speaker 2: The play me everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh my god, I'm thinking about it right now.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you can't wait to get back
Speaker 2: up there?
Speaker 1: I am excited for a break that's healthy, healthy, Thank you.
Speaker 1: I think health is important.
Speaker 3: That's one of the reasons I wanted to come on here,
Speaker 3: because I don't the play is doing fine. We don't
Speaker 3: need the press, okay. I want to talk about health, okay,
Speaker 3: because as queer people in the community, we're not healthy.
Speaker 3: We have a different relationship from our upbringings to health
Speaker 3: that invariably does affect circumstances and basically like human rights.
Speaker 2: So well, when one of us is sick.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh
Speaker 1: my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 2: Should oh my God be the title of app We've
Speaker 2: got a lot of I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I actually don't think so. I don't think sorry, but
Speaker 1: thank you. I mean, I think health is wealth at
Speaker 1: the end of the dead would know this. And we're
Speaker 1: back on the go. We're back on this again. We're
Speaker 1: back on this.
Speaker 3: I'm going through a tough time, are you. Let's talk
Speaker 3: about it. Let's go there, we'll be right back. We'll
Speaker 3: be right back, and we're back.
Speaker 1: So actually, probably we'll put it a break.
Speaker 3: Before the break, Bowen was going to open up to
Speaker 3: us about what he's going through.
Speaker 2: I would love for them.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, amazing what everyone would be so much?
Speaker 1: What happened? Hillary Clinton?
Speaker 3: What happened? By the way, what say what you want
Speaker 3: about Hillary? And I will It's a great title for
Speaker 3: a book, just in general. That book can be about anything.
Speaker 3: It can be a cookbook. And it doesn't have Hillary
Speaker 3: doesn't have to write it. It can be anyone can write
Speaker 3: any book. Can call it what happened? And it would
Speaker 3: be great notion. What before I want to hear about
Speaker 3: the pain you're going through? Now you have to cast
Speaker 3: Hillary and Trump in a show together. Oh night, Mother night,
Speaker 3: Mother's good.
Speaker 1: That's who's mother though? I think mother is Trump? Yeah? Oh,
Speaker 1: I just that's it's a two hander, a two hander
Speaker 1: waiting for Goodo, Waiting for Good would be not What
Speaker 1: about to watch Them chuck a lot?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the movie What about I'm a Lee the musical,
Speaker 3: which I did a reading of, so be careful.
Speaker 1: I'm with Pippa.
Speaker 3: No, then it was Rachel Lee Cook Lee Cook because
Speaker 3: it was gonna we wanted to do like a sort
Speaker 3: of cheese all that. Emilee sort of like, Harry, what
Speaker 3: about this sister story?
Speaker 2: Sister?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's sort of like how you know Detroit is
Speaker 3: a sister city of like I don't know.
Speaker 2: Minneapolis, Minneapolis, Detroit y twin city, twin city.
Speaker 3: Sister cities do be random? Yeah, you're like Shanghai and
Speaker 3: Des Moines. Yeah, it's funny. I find it amusing.
Speaker 1: What is what is New York City sister city? Couldn't
Speaker 1: tell you. I couldn't tell you all. I couldn't tell you.
Speaker 2: You know what I draw these cities? Wish yeah, wish.
Speaker 2: Well you know what I just realized. No, the second city,
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, the second city is called that because
Speaker 2: it's like known as like a second city. You didn't
Speaker 2: know that, No, And I then I understood why there
Speaker 2: was also one in Toronto, famously also a second Sorryronto.
Speaker 3: If I had to live in another city that wasn't
Speaker 3: New York, it would be Toronto, really Toronto, very cute case.
Speaker 2: All the second cities have they do Chicago and Toronto.
Speaker 1: I would say San Francisco. That's not a second city.
Speaker 2: It is if you're like consultants, I actually do. I'm
Speaker 2: looking for a consultant for what. I don't want to
Speaker 2: say a bad word, but one time a psychic told
Speaker 2: me that, oh, is this the psychic that the community
Speaker 2: very upset?
Speaker 1: This is a different one.
Speaker 2: Oh said that my my husband is wearing a suit.
Speaker 1: Well, that could be anything your husband could.
Speaker 2: It's Charlotte and it's psychic. It's it's it's made up.
Speaker 3: It's a suit, a hazmat suit to get that dirty hole.
Speaker 1: Hey you last night Chinese. Hey, that's my that's my people.
Speaker 1: That's Chinese broccoli. Yeah, it's not actually Chinese, is it.
Speaker 2: It was a very very racist of you to say,
Speaker 2: even more racist than what you were saying right before
Speaker 2: you got on. You came in here and you were
Speaker 2: saying a whole blow to racist Chinese broccoli?
Speaker 3: Is that what the bats were eating? And the wet
Speaker 3: market that's you said? Oh yeah, I did say that.
Speaker 3: I did say that. I was saying that while I
Speaker 3: was peeing to myself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was bone was right there, right there,
Speaker 2: and I was being what.
Speaker 1: Was that guy's name, Larry something, hm hmm. Guy who was.
Speaker 3: Cruising the bat Larry Craig, Larry we should I think
Speaker 3: enough time has passed and that guy, you know, his
Speaker 3: whole life was did he die? I think he had?
Speaker 3: He is dead at this point. Let's call bathroom cruising
Speaker 3: as a closeted man, Larry Craig.
Speaker 1: Larry craiging, have you ever hooked up in a bathroom?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: And by the way, because I realized that I'm sorry
Speaker 2: about this. We were doing our episode with Lipa and
Speaker 2: you were telling the story and to many times you
Speaker 2: have told you before, but I did redirect the conversation
Speaker 2: in an irresponsible and annoying, very Matt Rogers coated way.
Speaker 1: And so I want you to take the floor.
Speaker 2: Tell us about how you add sex and Madrid Airport bathroom.
Speaker 1: That's the story. Okay, haven't have you?
Speaker 3: No, I don't think I could hygienic get hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think I could do that in a bathroom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because of the smells are because of the awareness
Speaker 2: of other people's proximity.
Speaker 1: I think growing up gay. Sorry, no, go there, just
Speaker 1: to go there.
Speaker 2: I just we'll be right back. I want what's best
Speaker 2: for everyone. Well on second, yeah, we're back. Okay, and
Speaker 2: will you were crying.
Speaker 1: I'm I don't know, I don't I just don't think I.
Speaker 3: Can sure ideal place for an encounter. Probably country. I
Speaker 3: want a country. Okay, time of day, I'm gonna say Canada.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna say Toronto. A hotel room in Toronto. Okay,
Speaker 3: we're being stupid. We did not actually ask you to
Speaker 3: expand on Toronto. What do you love about it?
Speaker 1: What? What makes it an adeal place? It's not trying
Speaker 1: to be New York, thank god.
Speaker 3: No, this is my impression of Toronto. Hey, we're not
Speaker 3: New York. We've got a couple of restaurants. Have fun, yep,
Speaker 3: let us know.
Speaker 1: If you need anything, bring your kids, don't don't actually
Speaker 1: don't bring your please whatever. It's six of one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got a quote unquote beach. It's just can I
Speaker 1: tell you something? Don't ever sleep? Wake up? There needs
Speaker 1: to be a gay lake, and there really is. There
Speaker 1: is epot that's actually real culture.
Speaker 2: Number two, There is a lake that is one of
Speaker 2: the gayest, but I'm saying there needs to be like
Speaker 2: lake House culture for gay people. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the Germany Pavilion. I'm so mad.
Speaker 2: The most relaxing place on the Germany Pavilion at Epcot.
Speaker 2: Go there, bring a beach chair, have a sour kroud
Speaker 2: and it fucking pills.
Speaker 1: For the pills money, And that's where I'm going to
Speaker 1: be all June. Okay for relaxation Yang, Yeah, well for
Speaker 1: Pride festivities Epcot.
Speaker 2: Well, Trump's going on in the first week of Broadway. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because Cole is still going to be an Epcot col
Speaker 2: We keep trying to get you to come to Disney
Speaker 2: with us.
Speaker 1: Well we don't. Yes, you never have. Well would you
Speaker 1: do it? No? You don't like it being growing up?
Speaker 2: Okay, back, you just hate it on principle, that's not true.
Speaker 2: You can say BDS, Wow, I don't like you two together.
Speaker 2: It's too much.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, too.
Speaker 2: Much, too much.
Speaker 3: Calm down, I agree, Yeah, No, I bet I would
Speaker 3: like it.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, you don't have to say that. I
Speaker 1: think you would because I think you'd see the irony
Speaker 1: in the whole thing. John early and I once went
Speaker 1: to Disneyland. Yeah, well.
Speaker 3: It wasn't why but Splash Mountain was fun and I
Speaker 3: wish we both wish we would have, just like.
Speaker 2: You can't anymore because they've renamed it Princess Tati's by
Speaker 2: you dip.
Speaker 1: It's the same. You still Splash very.
Speaker 2: Much the same, but they've taken out everything that you love,
Speaker 2: which was the racism. And you were saying that before
Speaker 2: you got in the mic, and they replaced it with
Speaker 2: Princess Tiana, because that's how you correct the wrongs of
Speaker 2: the hills of the world.
Speaker 1: Again. I said this when I was peeing to myself
Speaker 1: as a joke and we were both Larry Craig, and
Speaker 1: we were both Larry Craig. Look, I was looking for
Speaker 1: sex with closet did men? Of course I was going
Speaker 1: to say that stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course you were trying to attract people.
Speaker 3: Yes, please, please don't get it twisted. I don't ever
Speaker 3: want to get it twisted.
Speaker 1: Can I say something?
Speaker 2: I can't think of anything more embarrassing than getting it twisted.
Speaker 2: The loss another embarrassing thing, truly, But like, what's more
Speaker 2: embarrassing than getting it twisted?
Speaker 1: What do you do first? Of all.
Speaker 2: Ouch, how do you feel? Just generally a lot better now? Honestly,
Speaker 2: I was not in a good movie, and now I
Speaker 2: really am. Okay, I'm very happy to see you. Do
Speaker 2: you think you're going to have s X with someone else?
Speaker 1: Can I tell you something?
Speaker 2: No, I did the thing. Sorry, I did the thing.
Speaker 2: We'll be right back. I did the thing where I
Speaker 2: over scheduled myself on dates this week. So it's actually
Speaker 2: I'm going to reveal, okay that my guy canceled tonight
Speaker 2: because I'm going on three dates this week with three
Speaker 2: different men. Sorry, everyone, I'm actually trying to find a
Speaker 2: partner actively. I would like that for myself. I have recently,
Speaker 2: you discovered about myself that I would like to be
Speaker 2: in a relationship that's great.
Speaker 1: And you're ready. I don't think I am either, just
Speaker 1: ready and it's two different thingships, right, Yeah, yeah, somedays soon.
Speaker 2: What do you?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What do you?
Speaker 3: What do you think it'll take? I think you too
Speaker 3: have to stop being friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone's so intimidated by him. True story. It's just
Speaker 2: like I say, no, no, he's creative. Lie, I go no, No.
Speaker 1: He's great, he's easy, He's gonna love you. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then I go, then, oh, mother in law over here,
Speaker 1: nothing's good enough for her son.
Speaker 2: The last two guys I've dated have been like, I'm
Speaker 2: nervous to me Bowen, and I was like, don't be nervous.
Speaker 2: He's my best friend and the kind and the best
Speaker 2: person ever.
Speaker 1: I was nervous to meet you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when did you meet forty years ago?
Speaker 1: Forty years ago?
Speaker 2: Well, y'all did all of Europe together?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It was eighty four eighty four and Berlin was east
Speaker 3: and west, Oh my god, and we didn't know which
Speaker 3: was which, and so I was trying to buy jeans
Speaker 3: and they and they said, we don't tell those here.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: That was good, hilarious misunderstanding. Yeah, well you were.
Speaker 2: You were just saying before, but you missed Germany the
Speaker 2: way it was, that's what you were saying.
Speaker 3: And you gave a specific year too.
Speaker 1: God, we missed you, Tony. It's it's a fucking show.
Speaker 2: And thank you did mean it actually genuine there for
Speaker 2: a second said we missed you. Yeah, we did say that, though,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm embarrassed. Do you not like to say
Speaker 2: hi to people after the show?
Speaker 1: I love it? Yes? Good? Okay, because we didn't like
Speaker 1: go backstage or anything. Well, there's not a backstage at
Speaker 1: the lortel. Oh, it's a theater moment. It's like you
Speaker 1: have to come into the everyone clears out and the
Speaker 1: will sort of stay behind and.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, the friends, the friends can I reveal at
Speaker 3: this point that the the opening night party at the
Speaker 3: hotel run probably run was at Houston Hall, which is
Speaker 3: a pretty very straight there sports on the sports on
Speaker 3: the screen, and I thought that was kind of the perfect,
Speaker 3: perfect touch.
Speaker 1: I didn't see it the same way as you. Oh,
Speaker 1: you were stressed out, you didn't like it. I thought,
Speaker 1: change the channel. Yeah, totally to listen to you when
Speaker 1: you said that, I didn't say it to anyone. I
Speaker 1: just felt you thought it.
Speaker 2: But it's a big it was your biggest that was
Speaker 2: your first and biggest mistake. You know what would be
Speaker 2: to play a bar Yeah, QVC, I my qvcree. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And that would drive business, which is what you have.
Speaker 3: You care about the economy, absolutely jobs, bringing jobs back
Speaker 3: to America, all these companies.
Speaker 2: There's nothing more American than QVC is actually culture number
Speaker 2: ninety yeah eight, there's nothing.
Speaker 1: Nothing more American than PBC.
Speaker 3: Because it's a conversation piece. You can talk about it.
Speaker 3: You don't have to pay attention. It's not like, oh
Speaker 3: well now mama me is on, so I guess I'm
Speaker 3: gonna watch it, which.
Speaker 1: Is what I do. No, there is no through line
Speaker 1: to follow with PVC.
Speaker 2: No. Actually, in fact, there is the absence of that completely,
Speaker 2: which is why it's so great.
Speaker 1: Peak behind the curtain to when I shot.
Speaker 2: I love that for you the people that had to play,
Speaker 2: the on air people, you just have to be always talking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you literally it was.
Speaker 2: It's actually so funny when you watch because they end
Speaker 2: up saying some crazy things sometimes just words together in
Speaker 2: like a soup that truly are just like and look
Speaker 2: at this diamond pendit now. I love this for graduations,
Speaker 2: for funerals, for you know.
Speaker 1: And my mother had a.
Speaker 2: Pendant and I always remember my mother, especially now today
Speaker 2: because Janine is going to turn around and you can
Speaker 2: see the pennels in the back. It's like nonsense, gobblede.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter, doesn't matter, it's nothing, but it is everything.
Speaker 3: If you can watch it on mute and it still
Speaker 3: looks like things are happening, that is the mark of success.
Speaker 3: That which I love, and it gives you moments like
Speaker 3: the planet Moon and the planet.
Speaker 1: And yeah, the planet Moon liesa lies.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, you know what's really wild is like actually
Speaker 2: they do watch second by second to see if the
Speaker 2: sales are going up and down, and it does correlate
Speaker 2: to like how charming they're being, Like, like, at any
Speaker 2: given time, there are a million plus people watching this
Speaker 2: channel and gauging second by second whether they're buying something
Speaker 2: or not, to the point where, like it actually corresponds
Speaker 2: with the I guess salesman flopping or not.
Speaker 1: I love the economy, you said, I love the economy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love inflation. Keeping up with those prices, yeah, keeping
Speaker 1: up with the price. Yeah, we got to keep up
Speaker 1: with those prices.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Praise them a little bit and then give us something
Speaker 1: to aspire to.
Speaker 2: You know, was that the big conversation at the MEP gala.
Speaker 1: Can I get some water?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, don't bring back anything you.
Speaker 1: Like? Your job? Is my lawyer here? No?
Speaker 2: Your lawyer's not here. Who's your lawyer?
Speaker 1: You want to shout him out?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Good, Elizabeth? I bet she rocks Elsbeth, Elsbeth, Elsbeth.
Speaker 2: Have you seen all the commercials for that show Elsbeth.
Speaker 1: No, but I really want to watch the show. It's
Speaker 1: supposed to be good. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. I didn't
Speaker 1: watch The Good Fight. Neither I should. Christine's mad at you?
Speaker 1: She is? Have you met her? Christine were talking about? No,
Speaker 1: she's mad at me?
Speaker 2: Right, well, I think we can because of all that
Speaker 2: stuff you made up about me. What I said, like,
Speaker 2: I didn't make anything else hard. It's so funny that
Speaker 2: you try to come here on what is our show?
Speaker 1: Uh huh? Because even though we made a joke about
Speaker 1: you hosting it interesting, that's really interesting? Is it interesting?
Speaker 1: It's interesting? I N C h E R S T
Speaker 1: E E N got it interesting?
Speaker 2: Got it?
Speaker 1: I think that.
Speaker 3: Archie Pinjabi is having a moment again. Thoughts where under
Speaker 3: the bridge? We'll be right back.
Speaker 1: And we're back.
Speaker 2: Wait, what did she talk about York under the bridge?
Speaker 2: Though I didn't go to bridge?
Speaker 1: You didn't? Did you go to b York under the bridge?
Speaker 1: They were working? Did what did she do a concert?
Speaker 1: She did a concert? Slash sat under the cabridge cambridge, but.
Speaker 2: I think they call it the cabridge to sort of
Speaker 2: insinuate that use under the bridge, which.
Speaker 1: I find to be there as an iconic sober person.
Speaker 1: What do you think of that? I'm disturbed. Yeah, well carefully.
Speaker 1: The table is making noise, shaking it, he's humping, he's
Speaker 1: like a dog.
Speaker 3: Don't think gay people and drugs go together. I actually agree.
Speaker 3: I think let's just like put a let's put a
Speaker 3: pause on it. Let's put a pause on it until
Speaker 3: I figure it out what's going on.
Speaker 1: I need to get in there.
Speaker 3: No, Like, I'm busy with my show right now. But like,
Speaker 3: if you trust places, absolutely come fall. I want to, like,
Speaker 3: I just want to open it up, open the community up,
Speaker 3: and like, look at it cool. If you were to
Speaker 3: put out like a missive to the to the community
Speaker 3: across the world and say stop it with the drugs
Speaker 3: for like.
Speaker 1: A month, people would do it. I don't think they
Speaker 1: would think love drugs so much I'm going to do
Speaker 1: it in October. Well then I'm gonna do it in October.
Speaker 1: Was there a favorite drug back in the day? Just weed? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Just baking, just baking, waking up in baking. It's we
Speaker 1: call it wake and bake, and we were really fun.
Speaker 1: Wake and bake sucks.
Speaker 3: It was awful. It's a really bad. I'm sorry if
Speaker 3: you're awaken baker, No, I just know awful.
Speaker 1: It was like, no, yeah, it is. It's a it's
Speaker 1: a huge alarm bell moment. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Once it becomes wake and bake, that's when you have
Speaker 2: to stop and take uh huh a second.
Speaker 1: It's recess.
Speaker 2: And I guess that's what we're saying to all the
Speaker 2: gay community. Who's really the biggest problem within the gay
Speaker 2: community is marijuana. Marijuana use is out of control in
Speaker 2: the gay community. These gays are two stone, Yeah, they
Speaker 2: am out. Have you noticed that Taylor Swift has started
Speaker 2: to talk about weed a lot in her music? Has
Speaker 2: she yes?
Speaker 1: In her like The Tortured Posts Department.
Speaker 2: Is an album about a chaotic, manic relationship, and she
Speaker 2: references like you always being she was with someone that
Speaker 2: was always stoned. My friends smell like weed, et cetera.
Speaker 2: That Yeah, you know what I mean, Like, there's a reed.
Speaker 2: What do you like to say? I don't know, because
Speaker 2: you have I don't like pot at all. You know
Speaker 2: what I say you, I don't care what pot marijuana.
Speaker 1: It's all pretty bad. It's all bad.
Speaker 2: I think reefer is funny because it's stupid. Green flower yeah,
Speaker 2: never flower.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Bowen go to bed. I've never seen you do
Speaker 1: that bed. Your tongue fell out of your mouth goes.
Speaker 2: Sually.
Speaker 1: I'm sexual. You are a sexual rimming the air eats
Speaker 1: every you know what. I stopped?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got, yeah, I had, I mean six months.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I guess my stomach's just weird.
Speaker 3: Now this is a great story. You'll want to put
Speaker 3: this in the book.
Speaker 1: Okay, And it's coming up right after the break. I'm back. Hi.
Speaker 3: I went to a dietician for my acid reflux and
Speaker 3: they ran all these tests and they said, here, you
Speaker 3: need to poop in this jar and mail it in.
Speaker 3: I said, no questions, absolutely, I'll do that for you.
Speaker 1: Take my poop.
Speaker 2: Take hey, you take it.
Speaker 3: And what they what they make you do is like
Speaker 3: put a bag like a little you tape basically a
Speaker 3: piece of paper onto your toilet sto oh.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, and you poop onto that paper and then
Speaker 1: they give you a little scooper yep too. I hope
Speaker 1: everyone at.
Speaker 3: Home is eating a nice big chocolate cake right now.
Speaker 3: And you scoop the poop and you put it into
Speaker 3: a little cup and you mail that in.
Speaker 1: Yeah to I think the government. The government and said
Speaker 1: what they do with the cup, They they they clean
Speaker 1: Mama again, I hope you're eating chocolate cake, eating chocolate
Speaker 1: cake right now? It's poopoo?
Speaker 2: Is it poop? And is it poop? Okay?
Speaker 3: So then they came out so well, then I met
Speaker 3: with a dietician and she goes, have you been camping recently?
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I haven't been camping since
Speaker 1: I was twelve. What what kind of weird question is that?
Speaker 3: And she was like, you have this parasite that is
Speaker 3: common with people who've maybe been drink camping, drinking contaminated water.
Speaker 1: Or from and does she get there set yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And then I was like oh and.
Speaker 3: Then, but so the process of confirming that you have
Speaker 3: jaradia in order to get the.
Speaker 1: Is there's like mailing in your poop.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm like, I don't want to be mailing
Speaker 3: my poop, like I'm leaving that behind. I said, no more,
Speaker 3: no more, ask four, I'm not mailing my poop anyhow,
Speaker 3: I said, New Year knew me, no poop. I am
Speaker 3: not going to that mailbox with the jar of poop.
Speaker 2: Now, that's completely insane that that's how Yeah, yeah, well
Speaker 2: I've had it before and it hasn't stopped me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it was horrible and I got it on
Speaker 1: Fire Island and you saw me. Yeah, it was bad.
Speaker 1: It was not good. You you like watched him? Yeah
Speaker 1: we shared a room. No, but I but I watched
Speaker 1: you get your ass? Was I really? You know you didn't.
Speaker 1: Don't tell them that. I don't want to think about
Speaker 1: us like that.
Speaker 3: No, I was insinuating that you were watching him have
Speaker 3: like explosive diary.
Speaker 1: Oh I thought you were insinuing that I was watching him.
Speaker 1: Isn't that funny? House are sharing the bed? When were
Speaker 1: we sharing the bed when I had to keep getting up?
Speaker 3: Yes, we were, and we all sewed the bad the
Speaker 3: only only only time I've ever and it was bad,
Speaker 3: like we both had like growing up moments.
Speaker 1: And the only time I've ever blacked out. Oh from
Speaker 1: the fourth of July were like they found my wallet
Speaker 1: on the boardwalk and it was this unity effort.
Speaker 2: It was the only time you ever blacked out.
Speaker 1: Good for you?
Speaker 3: Yeah, really, I would say so. I didn't really ever
Speaker 3: black out in college or high school. Hmmm, you sound
Speaker 3: like you don't believe me.
Speaker 2: No, I'm trying to go through the rolodex in my
Speaker 2: mind to think of times I've seen Bowen Yang sloppy.
Speaker 3: It was so scary because I've never like had like
Speaker 3: a black box in the memory of like, oh I
Speaker 3: don't remember what happened.
Speaker 2: Well, we got your back, the wallet, got.
Speaker 1: Me back the wallet, and thank god because a lot
Speaker 1: of I hope everybody's credit cards. Because this goes back
Speaker 1: to what I was saying about health.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you were saying that right before we got on. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you were saying you hope COVID comes back, Yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: stronger because like it like a gay Yeah, it over promised.
Speaker 2: You think COVID under delivered.
Speaker 1: Compared to what.
Speaker 3: Compared to what compared to what? That's a really good
Speaker 3: season two specific I know. I'm sorry, I guess compared
Speaker 3: to difficult people.
Speaker 1: Okay, are you? Yes? Yeah? Did you find something ever?
Speaker 2: Come on, You're right, I shouldn't even go there. Did
Speaker 2: you ever find something since Downton Abbey that you liked
Speaker 2: as much?
Speaker 1: Yes? What Gilded Age? I was always.
Speaker 2: Like Sideline, Like I was Sideline, We're going to take
Speaker 2: a break and not come back. We're back, We're back
Speaker 2: the Waltons.
Speaker 1: I don't think I know that? Is that about the
Speaker 1: Walton family. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no no, they're
Speaker 1: a family named the Waltons. And it's not like the
Speaker 1: Walmart Walton because you were saying you love Walmart and
Speaker 1: the family that that. I love how I love their
Speaker 1: business model? Like why why is that controversial to say? Like, right,
Speaker 1: they're doing very well? Why are there on Broadway? Why
Speaker 1: shouldn't I be proud of them? And yes, they're funding
Speaker 1: O Mary on Broadway? Yeah, and I'm very proud of them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like let's see what they're doing is legal? Yes, like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're cutting corners, they're underpaying, Like it's legal. If
Speaker 3: you have a problem with them, take it up with
Speaker 3: your president, Joe Biden, the one you both wanted so bad.
Speaker 1: We did want so bad. We really did.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we really did it. I didn't, I wrote, I
Speaker 3: wrote in. I wrote in, uh uh Judy Garlic? Yeah,
Speaker 3: where is she'll hitting the trail?
Speaker 2: Will she?
Speaker 1: She's in? She came, she was like, I have been
Speaker 1: wanted to be on this podcast. She's like, I want
Speaker 1: to talk about health in the gay I bet she does. Jardia.
Speaker 1: My husband has jardia. You can't get rid of it.
Speaker 1: Jared Jared, Hey, Cush, We can't give him a cool name.
Speaker 3: No, that's not cool, that's not cool. Jake Cush cush
Speaker 3: it well even Cush terrible weed name. Yeah, we don't
Speaker 3: like that, don Ja. What about Gonjo?
Speaker 1: No, it's bad, but we really haven't come up with
Speaker 1: something good. Molly's Molly's so good. I think funny. Who
Speaker 1: has Reefer?
Speaker 2: I love it? Let's go smoke reefer? You love it
Speaker 2: that Matt says it in a fun way, Griefer, Let's
Speaker 2: smoke a reefer. I got Jared be saying it to
Speaker 2: not Kushner, Jared Frieder.
Speaker 1: J fried I'm looking at you like I'm not sure,
Speaker 1: Like I'm a crazy guy and you're a crazy guy.
Speaker 1: I love kissing James every night. You tell us yes, wait,
Speaker 1: we share a leading man, romantic romantic lead. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I was my brain not what it used to be.
Speaker 1: It's okay.
Speaker 2: I think it's going to get all the time. I
Speaker 2: think you're getting smarter every day and stronger. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: gotta say, well, i'd love to read. I'm reading books again.
Speaker 2: We're taking a European trip, and Bowen described the desire
Speaker 2: to read, and I thought that that sounded so boring.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would go for depression. It was so it
Speaker 3: was really good for the bad moment that last summer
Speaker 3: m H was I. I was probably even boring you
Speaker 3: to death with it. I was just like I've been
Speaker 3: reading a lot. No, the thing is like you actually
Speaker 3: and this is the scary part. You did not seem
Speaker 3: different at all.
Speaker 1: That is terri lying because it was lying. No. The
Speaker 1: bad moment was like in London.
Speaker 3: And I was like, I have to go somewhere. I
Speaker 3: can't be like, I can't be here for I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: I keep shaking the table. And then by this that
Speaker 3: by the time I was in another place and I
Speaker 3: was among friends or a friend was like, this is
Speaker 3: much better.
Speaker 1: So you were lying or wait what are you saying? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you were lying. I was lying.
Speaker 3: By the time you got this is not real and
Speaker 3: you and you were saying that sorry, uh no, we're back.
Speaker 3: No you really didn't seem that's terrifying. That's terrifying. Do
Speaker 3: you talk to anyone?
Speaker 2: No? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Are you both in therapy like for real?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: With each other?
Speaker 2: With each other?
Speaker 1: You know what I just started doing what E M
Speaker 1: D R. Controversial is a controversial?
Speaker 2: Controversial?
Speaker 1: Well, I can't wait to hear everyone's opinion on it.
Speaker 2: What I really cannot wait for is for everyone in
Speaker 2: our beloved community to tell me, yeah, how I should.
Speaker 1: Be doing well?
Speaker 2: No, but I didn't mean to undercut. What is controversial
Speaker 2: about it that killed John Benet? It was emdr that
Speaker 2: did it. Yeah, wah, controversial. I think it's just I
Speaker 2: think it's a relatively new form of therapy. Okay, It's
Speaker 2: like there's a lot of deband it killed John Bennet. Wow,
Speaker 2: that's the comedy podcast can be funny?
Speaker 1: Ship God, you said before you came on here, you
Speaker 1: killed her?
Speaker 2: So what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? In the burping?
Speaker 2: What was that?
Speaker 1: The parents? No? No, no, the guy that that killed
Speaker 1: his wife? What's it called that documentary? And then he
Speaker 1: was oh drink No, no, it's the drinks? Or was
Speaker 1: the murder in Boston?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, no, that guy that like he he killed his wife?
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 1: And then he was like in a bathroom on a
Speaker 1: live mic going pe and he's like, of course I
Speaker 1: killed them. Oh have you guys seen what Jennifer did? No,
Speaker 1: what's what Jennifer Did's on Netflex. It's like, truly the most.
Speaker 3: It hits hard because it hits close to home for
Speaker 3: me because it is this Asian girl who felt so
Speaker 3: pressured by her parents to succeed that.
Speaker 2: She killed them kill So that hit home for you.
Speaker 2: What you just said on the mic. It wasn't like
Speaker 2: Cole who said all the nasty thing.
Speaker 1: No, this is on Mike.
Speaker 3: I'm saying, no, not that I relate to her killing
Speaker 3: her wanting to kill her parents or killing her parents.
Speaker 3: It is this thing of like she must have felt
Speaker 3: like it's like, y'all, if things did not go a
Speaker 3: certain way, like I would have been, I would have
Speaker 3: killed So I would have like been like in that
Speaker 3: kind of like you're saying, you get it. Yeah, you
Speaker 3: could have seen yourself going down. No, not yet her parents,
Speaker 3: but oh my god, this is so crazy.
Speaker 2: That watched the Mother's Day episode that I said all
Speaker 2: the other night that said, oh look but ones mom,
Speaker 2: that could have turned out really different. I'm saying, I'm
Speaker 2: like my life turned out. It was so many things
Speaker 2: aligning and it was this. No, I think what you're
Speaker 2: saying is very cogent.
Speaker 1: I think this is good.
Speaker 2: I think you're not saying I wanted to kill You're
Speaker 2: saying you understand the circumstances in which this girl did.
Speaker 2: You're saying you identify with, sympathize with, and trust her.
Speaker 2: I need to be president. You wantump on Broadway acting
Speaker 2: and this girl president. What Jennifer did was slay.
Speaker 3: She was like a compulsive She lied about like going
Speaker 3: to school because like her parents, like it was.
Speaker 1: It was so crazy. I love liars. I do have
Speaker 1: to tell you. Last night I watched the Lisa ren
Speaker 1: A Lifetime movie Mommy Meaness. You gotta get into it.
Speaker 1: It's good.
Speaker 2: It's based on a true story. It's about a mother
Speaker 2: who terrorizes her daughter to like control her by texting
Speaker 2: her like horrible vicious things from several burner phones. This
Speaker 2: is based on a true story. And Rena is just like, well,
Speaker 2: I don't understand what's happening, like what it was, and
Speaker 2: she goes in the goes in her closet, sits down
Speaker 2: on her computer and just.
Speaker 1: And so so good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the soaps really like get people like Julianne Morcule
Speaker 3: and Meg Ryan came from soaps.
Speaker 2: Who else there's there's like a famous Oh Margot Robbie
Speaker 2: was Australian neighbors. Yeah, uh uh huh, isn't that what
Speaker 2: it's called neighbors. And I believe Chris Hemsworth was also
Speaker 2: on that, and maybe even Kylie Minogue back in the day.
Speaker 2: Kylie Minogue was definitely on a soap back. Shout out
Speaker 2: to Kylie Minogue. Just saw her in Vegas. That was
Speaker 2: a great congrats by the way, thank you. I rolls
Speaker 2: him right back.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, isn't that's any Frankel in a Last Time movie?
Speaker 1: She is.
Speaker 2: And it's another thing where it's like I have a
Speaker 2: daughter and it's weird. It's they really are pivoting to
Speaker 2: like it's me against my daughter.
Speaker 1: Yes, a lot.
Speaker 2: And you know what was was so I love about
Speaker 2: this movie was like it literally just ends with Lisa.
Speaker 2: We're gonna spoiler alert. She just like gets caught and
Speaker 2: she doesn't even like change. She's just like, well I
Speaker 2: did it because I want us to be close friends.
Speaker 2: And the daughter's like, you're a fucking crazy person. She
Speaker 2: goes to jail for two days, gets out, and then
Speaker 2: the daughter moves out.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: There's like, no, there's no campy fight, there's no anything.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's gypsy, It's gypsy. It's Trump and Gypsy. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think I think we found it right off the bat.
Speaker 2: It is Trump and Gypsy.
Speaker 1: What is it gonna be? It's just kind of giving,
Speaker 1: like what's that bear yogi? You'll get it's kind of Yeah,
Speaker 1: everybody loves Ruben.
Speaker 2: That's really good.
Speaker 1: Can you do, Patty Heaton?
Speaker 3: Why do Kelsey Grammar and I get ostracized for being Republicans?
Speaker 1: It's actually a really good question. Why why. It's just
Speaker 1: their beliefs.
Speaker 3: It's just their beliefs. Will be right back and we're back.
Speaker 3: What would you host a talk show? Yes, because I
Speaker 3: I feel like Broadway is over. Well it's over, but
Speaker 3: I feel like there is something that you got to be.
Speaker 3: You guys got to be careful because this is my community.
Speaker 3: Now you're right Broadway is I think for you?
Speaker 1: Is this fair to say? It's like the goal?
Speaker 2: It is?
Speaker 1: It was always the goal.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the secret dream in the back of my mind
Speaker 3: was always like, that's so cool, Well how do I
Speaker 3: get to Broadway?
Speaker 1: Yeah? This could not have happened. Everyone thinks I'm joking. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I don't think fuck you. Oh sorry, I.
Speaker 3: Don't mean it's okay, ugly, It's like because like, because
Speaker 3: I remember you saying this to me. It's the last
Speaker 3: and then last er we're talking about it afterwards, were like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's so cool, Like it's it's amazing, Like I feel
Speaker 3: like I thought every gay person was always just secretly
Speaker 3: like wanting to be on Broadway?
Speaker 1: Don't you think a little bit have that dream?
Speaker 3: Not quite as much as you guys, but I think yes,
Speaker 3: I've like had like the flash of the Fantis.
Speaker 1: You will no no no, no, no no no for me.
Speaker 1: It's just like I don't think that's like Frost Nixon
Speaker 1: that actually would be good.
Speaker 3: I'm Nixon, I think so I think you have a
Speaker 3: better Nixon. I'm oh, my god, better than your Trump.
Speaker 1: Who is that? I can't wait to get that. It's
Speaker 1: sort of like who is It's like you doing fallon doing.
Speaker 3: It's like a cartoon villain, like like I can't it's
Speaker 3: not Jaffar, it's almost Jaffar.
Speaker 1: To get back on track.
Speaker 3: It's very cool that you're doing Broadway and is the
Speaker 3: fantasy to stay there the rest of your life?
Speaker 1: I would like to keep working in theater.
Speaker 2: Why just twelve weeks?
Speaker 1: I work with a numerologist who she's very powerful, this woman,
Speaker 1: her shoulders are so broad do you think it's because
Speaker 1: of the numerology. Yeah, she's got this kind of sexy
Speaker 1: kind of oh like yeah, she's got this sexy gate.
Speaker 1: She just walks real bow legged. Yeah, and I love her.
Speaker 1: And she said twelve. Yeah. She looked at me and
Speaker 1: she said twelve Is it actually the goal for you?
Speaker 2: Like, because I saw you talking about this on Stradio
Speaker 2: Lab like someone else would do it.
Speaker 1: I would love for someone else to play Mary. Really yeah,
Speaker 1: And do you think would you want like some like
Speaker 1: a list person to drop in and like, I.
Speaker 3: Don't care as long as they're like I would want
Speaker 3: them to be like good. Yeah, my dream is Titus Burgess.
Speaker 3: Oh god, Like in a way that almost would make
Speaker 3: me be like, wait, maybe you're too good.
Speaker 1: Don't don't it wouldn't It wouldn't be that be different,
Speaker 1: That's what I was gonna say. But that would be
Speaker 1: good and it's like thrilling, but.
Speaker 3: Like yeah, imagine, imagine totally yeah, yeah, And I can
Speaker 3: picture how Titus this wig would be different too, like
Speaker 3: the stupid curls.
Speaker 1: Have you had so many conversations with people where they
Speaker 1: they cast it at you?
Speaker 2: No? Really, no, why do you want to start?
Speaker 1: Sure? I mean frankly, you'd be great. No, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. But you don't think i'd be good as Mary?
Speaker 3: Hey, No, I'm thinking I think you'd be a good
Speaker 3: Mary's teacher.
Speaker 1: Yeah you have you have, you have the skull. If
Speaker 1: I had to cast you and the show, it would
Speaker 1: be as I had to if I had gun to
Speaker 1: my head, leading man, gun to my head, I would
Speaker 1: just tell them to shoot. But I would say I
Speaker 1: can't cast Matt in this show. I would say, just
Speaker 1: shoot me. But no, don't actually feel bad for me.
Speaker 2: That makes it real, you monster, don't be like this
Speaker 2: is my friend breaking down, crying, weeping.
Speaker 1: God, damn it. Well, I really are driving us apart.
Speaker 1: I really.
Speaker 3: I was thinking if Bowen's Mary, then I would want
Speaker 3: you to be Mary's teacher, I think. But I can
Speaker 3: also see a world where you're Mary, and your aid
Speaker 3: I would love to see. I think I'm better cast
Speaker 3: his abe. You put all your little Asian guys as.
Speaker 1: Abe, don't you.
Speaker 3: Yeah you were saying earlier, Yeah, yeah, I do not
Speaker 3: to put her, not because of Titus, and it's like
Speaker 3: such a within that circle. But like I think House,
Speaker 3: I was just gonna say, like, yeah, I mean, oh
Speaker 3: my god, wouldn't Sedaris want to do it?
Speaker 1: Absolutely?
Speaker 3: God should be amazing. But I would love to write plays.
Speaker 3: I would love to keep writing plays and other people
Speaker 3: to be in. I mean, what's what's very cool is that.
Speaker 3: I think it's like, at this point, you just get
Speaker 3: to do anything and everything. I don't know, can we
Speaker 3: be The industry is really amazing, That's true. The industries
Speaker 3: are really amazing right now. Everyone's really excited and everyone
Speaker 3: is happy.
Speaker 1: Earnestly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, one deserves it more. Yeah, nobody deserves it more.
Speaker 2: Fuck no, because I'm not doing this. This is you
Speaker 2: are not the host of this podcast, my podcast, And
Speaker 2: sometimes it gets earnest thanks.
Speaker 1: I think that word thought, Yeah, well deserve Oh sure,
Speaker 1: because we all deserve. Of course, everything deserves you. You
Speaker 1: are you are the sister, you never have whatever, you know,
Speaker 1: You're our idol. Yes stopping, I mean it is perfect.
Speaker 3: It's also I mean, watching the show, it's the best
Speaker 3: thing that's ever happened to me in my whole life,
Speaker 3: this show being produced. And I'm trying to like soak
Speaker 3: up everything that's that's happening right now because I know
Speaker 3: soon my turn will be over.
Speaker 1: And that's fine. All our turn. We all get a turn,
Speaker 1: and we get to the back of the line, and
Speaker 1: we wait and we wait and we wait, and then
Speaker 1: we get our turn.
Speaker 2: Well you got to get fast passed.
Speaker 1: This is why you need to go to you every line. Yeah, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: I'll go to Epcot honestly.
Speaker 2: One day days time we're on like one of our
Speaker 2: eight day trips.
Speaker 3: Here's why I wouldn't go. I don't want to be
Speaker 3: on a plane about it. I don't want to take
Speaker 3: a plane about it, you know. But I don't want
Speaker 3: to go to the airport, get on a plane, be
Speaker 3: at the airport, get my luggage all for Epcot.
Speaker 1: Like if I was in shore wherever, where is it?
Speaker 1: Orlando exactly? And I if I was in Orlando, I
Speaker 1: would love mary down in Orlando. Yes, liars, both of
Speaker 1: you smell it. I smell it seeping out of your pores.
Speaker 1: The lies.
Speaker 3: But the weed, the weed, the marijuana, the pot, YouTube
Speaker 3: pot smokers. I've had enough of YouTube pot smokers.
Speaker 1: I've had enough of us. But I would I would
Speaker 1: go to Epcot if I was in Orlando already.
Speaker 2: All right, okay, so we just have to figure out
Speaker 2: a way to trap me in Orlando, entrapman Central Florida.
Speaker 2: I do it, we can do it.
Speaker 1: What's that face for?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I could do it. I don't
Speaker 1: know about like really Florida in general. The hell of
Speaker 1: a drug. But yeah, you do have to kind of
Speaker 1: go there to go to Disney World. So that's I
Speaker 1: guess where we're rubbing it. It's just it's the plane, correct,
Speaker 1: the airports.
Speaker 2: You don't like to fly.
Speaker 1: I don't like it.
Speaker 3: It's very scary. Yeah, because growing up there, Okay, I
Speaker 3: just like I never got to soar.
Speaker 1: And to be that high.
Speaker 2: Like it's like, mme everything it reminds me of like
Speaker 2: what I didn't get growing up.
Speaker 1: And I'm sorry, I have to go. Pooper really bad.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back.
Speaker 2: Are you pooping a lot?
Speaker 1: I do poop a lot?
Speaker 2: That's good, Yeah, you poop a lot.
Speaker 1: Hmm. I'm a vegan.
Speaker 3: M So all of this really supports the idea that
Speaker 3: I've had, which is that coal not to actually earnestly
Speaker 3: get on health.
Speaker 1: But I find you to be very healthy. Thank you
Speaker 1: for saying that.
Speaker 3: Overall, it's one of my main initiatives going to Broadway.
Speaker 3: Make Broadway healthy again, Bring healthy back, Bring health back
Speaker 3: to Broadway. People think, oh, capitalism's ruining theater because ticket
Speaker 3: prices are right. I think we eat right mm hmm,
Speaker 3: we get the good eight hours of sleep we need. Yeah,
Speaker 3: finances will catch up well because you eat, like, don't
Speaker 3: sleep well. You don't sleep well. I stay up every
Speaker 3: night till five am. Seriously, Yeah, no matter what, what
Speaker 3: time do you get up? If I'm on my own,
Speaker 3: I'll wake up at like if I have nowhere to be.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Three. Really, so you're nocturnal. Nocturnal always happen? Does
Speaker 1: that bother you that you don't see the morning? Yes?
Speaker 2: What do we do?
Speaker 1: I don't know? Birding? Birding, birding? Like when this this?
Speaker 1: Oh you want to like go like look at the bird.
Speaker 1: I've thought about that because I need a hobby. It's actually,
Speaker 1: do you bird? I've started to app. I have an app.
Speaker 3: Merlin is the one that the Cornell Institute of Ornithology
Speaker 3: or whatever, like they have a department.
Speaker 1: Oh, they're really problematic. Actually, because you're the president. You
Speaker 1: were saying before, you're gonna and that's been your mission. Yeah,
Speaker 1: to problematize, to kill the birds. Kill the birds.
Speaker 2: Verry.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it's interesting because that's that feeds into
Speaker 1: my I don't think so.
Speaker 2: Oh you sang that song at Queer's Live I did
Speaker 2: means a lot to me again that we should do
Speaker 2: it again.
Speaker 1: This means a lot to me that you came to
Speaker 1: the show. Thank you.
Speaker 2: Really, what if we did Queers Live at like Radio
Speaker 2: City Music Hall? Yeah, let's do it, do it? They offer,
Speaker 2: Actually we're offered a show at this other thing. Maybe
Speaker 2: we should do Maybe we should do that.
Speaker 1: That's fun, that could be really fun or Orlando, and
Speaker 1: then that's what we get. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you can get me to Orlando for a gig,
Speaker 3: I'll go to Epicot with you. Okay, but really quickly
Speaker 3: I've gone burning for oh yeah, for for just like
Speaker 3: and for curiosity.
Speaker 1: So much fun. Where do you go with the parks?
Speaker 3: Prospect Park a veil of Kashmir so literally like historic
Speaker 3: cruising spot, but it is the best spot for birding.
Speaker 1: It's so funny. Sure, yeah, something to peckers. I was
Speaker 1: just looking for a bird thing.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: I've got Chardia. This character is a caricature.
Speaker 2: It's so fun.
Speaker 1: Get a nice pair of binoculars. And then you go
Speaker 1: you go in the mornings, and it's all much were
Speaker 1: they How much were they the binoculars? I actually.
Speaker 3: I'm about a mid price, Like I mean, they do
Speaker 3: go crazy like eighty bucks. Oh my god, they're expensive. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I bought one for eighty bucks. And then but then
Speaker 3: you go there, it's all these old women, but the
Speaker 3: activity itself is free. And the old women there compared
Speaker 3: to boomer how about that generational you can't okay.
Speaker 1: And then in a group, well, there's it seems like
Speaker 1: there's there's a lot of walks.
Speaker 3: There's like a queer birding group, and there's like you know,
Speaker 3: like whatever, like different beer birding group, queer birding groups
Speaker 3: already redunded.
Speaker 1: But then there's like all these guys with cameras. But
Speaker 1: it's it's like nice. It's like you get all types
Speaker 1: and it's free. And the camera guys, God makes me
Speaker 1: so horny. I love guys with camera, Oh my god.
Speaker 3: And it's it's just four different people telling you like
Speaker 3: there's this Scarlett Tanneger today. Oh, like they're they're like
Speaker 3: pointing it out to you, or it's like they're politely
Speaker 3: being like you see, there's a there's a nutatt today.
Speaker 3: It's so sweet. It's very standing. I heard, I heard,
Speaker 3: and then no, no, no it's not, and then and
Speaker 3: then I'm sorry. Looking at a bird up close in
Speaker 3: the binoculars in three D space as the lights hitting it,
Speaker 3: it is like incredible. Yeah, and that sounds more healthy
Speaker 3: than like gambling totally, but it's the same. It feeds
Speaker 3: the same, and it feeds the same if like I
Speaker 3: want to I want to win, I want to catch.
Speaker 3: Yes the thing and it's like all you're doing is
Speaker 3: looking at a bird. You're looking at a bird, and
Speaker 3: then you think, oh, is that gonna hurt exactly?
Speaker 1: It's maybe the race. They want their privacy.
Speaker 2: It's one of those things.
Speaker 3: It's one of those hobbies where I'm like, why the
Speaker 3: fuck do people get into this? And then you do
Speaker 3: it once and you're like, oh, I get it. I'm promised.
Speaker 3: And it seems like it would be something fun to
Speaker 3: add to traveling, Like if you're traveling and you're like, ooh,
Speaker 3: I'm going to see what kind of birds they have here?
Speaker 1: A big yellow, a big yellow. Oh, the big yellow.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 3: I I went to Canada and I saw all the
Speaker 3: big yellow I'm genuinely excited to do that. Yeah, when
Speaker 3: I go, this will loop back.
Speaker 1: Around to activity. I can't because of color blindness.
Speaker 3: No, I am color blind as well. You actually are,
Speaker 3: I am. I can't tell the difference between green and
Speaker 3: brown a lot of the time.
Speaker 1: Neither can I. Yeah, it's because you're red green color blind, right,
Speaker 1: And so when I was a kid, I would color
Speaker 1: the tree. Sorry, okay, I would color the trunks of
Speaker 1: the trees green and the leaves brown, and I would
Speaker 1: get points knocked off. Yeah, minus two and there were
Speaker 1: only there's only yeah, like ten points.
Speaker 2: My sister I used to think she had green hair
Speaker 2: all my life, Yeah, because she had brown hair and
Speaker 2: it looked green to me.
Speaker 1: And I thought peanut butter was green.
Speaker 2: I probably still do, to be honest. Blue and purple
Speaker 2: and peach possible, sometimes weird ones like orange.
Speaker 1: Have you ever worn those glasses? Yes, but they're a scam.
Speaker 1: I never tried them. I was gonna say, like, oh,
Speaker 1: that would have been a fun thing for us to
Speaker 1: do today, but they're a scam.
Speaker 2: Honestly, my we did a secret SAMD and my one
Speaker 2: friend got me those colors, those glasses, and it ended
Speaker 2: up being like I put them on, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: if this is what everyone sees normally, it's hell yeah,
Speaker 2: and yeah, I just thought, because you know, they're like
Speaker 2: those red glasses.
Speaker 1: I just saw like red, like I didn't see anything,
Speaker 1: no new. I wonder if they bought the cheap ones
Speaker 1: or something. I mean, certainly, who is this friend? Name
Speaker 1: them Chrish likeer like Chris, you cheap bastard.
Speaker 2: But also he got me a like a set, though
Speaker 2: at the same time it wasn't the only gift he
Speaker 2: got me, like a like a shirt was it like
Speaker 2: a So.
Speaker 1: You're a spoiled little your daddy's spoiled brat. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: always have been, always will be. Yeah, never will change.
Speaker 2: Never brat.
Speaker 1: I love a brat. It's so fun. Mary's kind of
Speaker 1: a brat. I love, Yeah, total.
Speaker 2: Brattle brat, total brady girl.
Speaker 1: I'm a brat. I know that about you. Yeah.
Speaker 2: They demanded a very nice hotel room, did the Amsterdam
Speaker 2: and I gave it? Yeah, the sofa teltel.
Speaker 1: Do we get breakfast the next day? Yeah? Great breakfast.
Speaker 1: I lost there.
Speaker 2: I think maybe my favorite city that's Adam Breakfast Amsterdam,
Speaker 2: London's great kid naming cities.
Speaker 1: Well, I like, I forgot the rest. I love the
Speaker 1: actually tucky. I like California Atlantic Ocean.
Speaker 2: It's time for I don't think so, honey. Just before
Speaker 2: our friend really embarrassed him, I'm in a cave. I'm
Speaker 2: doing a thing with a cup in the cave. It's
Speaker 2: a visual medium. You look silly. We got cameras since
Speaker 2: you've last been on No this is I don't think
Speaker 2: so honey. One thing hasn't changed. One thing hasn't changed.
Speaker 2: We still do this goddamn segment. Okay, I don't think
Speaker 2: so wanty. We ran against something in pop culture that's
Speaker 2: not so great to us. And I had an experience
Speaker 2: this weekend and I would like to talk about.
Speaker 1: Okay, tough, tough couple of days for my girl. This
Speaker 1: is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so many as time
Speaker 1: starts now.
Speaker 2: I don't think so, honey. If you show up to
Speaker 2: a theme party and you don't have anything on that's
Speaker 2: the theme.
Speaker 1: Maybe they're coming from work and it's.
Speaker 2: No, I tell you something, stop it, okay, because I
Speaker 2: haven't even been and I hadn't even been doing that
Speaker 2: for ten seconds, and you sided with all of them,
Speaker 2: and that says a lot about what's going to happen
Speaker 2: going forward. You're going to side with them outside of
Speaker 2: this dynamic, and I agree with col I'm sick of
Speaker 2: us because if you're going to keep doing this, I'm
Speaker 2: second into.
Speaker 1: My I don't think so.
Speaker 2: Why I'm doing a really good one that no one's
Speaker 2: ever talked about before, which is that the theme party.
Speaker 2: People should dress the theme and you undermine me. Just
Speaker 2: sit there and count down how much time I have
Speaker 2: left during my time?
Speaker 1: How about that? I'm sick of you at a theme party,
Speaker 1: say the theme is New Year's Eve.
Speaker 2: I want to see a couple of hats and glasses,
Speaker 2: please for Christ's sake, because I show up. If you
Speaker 2: do that again, we're gonna have a huge problem. This
Speaker 2: podcast is over.
Speaker 1: I agree. I don't think so, honey. And that's what
Speaker 1: did it? Now? Wait? Hold on? Was is the theme?
Speaker 1: Was the theme? New Year's Eve? Because that's fun? It
Speaker 1: was Tom Kny's.
Speaker 2: Birthday party held at the house of Tom Nye and
Speaker 2: Matt Whitaker, and they had a New Year's Eve themed
Speaker 2: thirtieth birthday for Thomas and I show up and.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that everyone is too cool?
Speaker 2: But no one was doing the theme and I looked
Speaker 2: silly in a white jacket, fun glasses, yeah, and just
Speaker 2: look silly. And I'm I'm the only one dressed for
Speaker 2: the theme. And then I get looked at once over
Speaker 2: by everyone and I'm like, it's the theme.
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't like to see if it's a party
Speaker 3: and gay guys are there and they once over, you
Speaker 3: give me a break, get out.
Speaker 2: It's like, I'm dressed perfect and y'all just look like
Speaker 2: you put a flannel on and rolled out of bed.
Speaker 2: You're on your way to Animal afterwards. I get everyone
Speaker 2: wants to look their best for Animal. The Sip and
Speaker 2: Twirl of Brooklyn. I want to apologize to you. That
Speaker 2: would be appropriate. I think I'm really sorry mhm if
Speaker 2: you were offended you almost there. Girls, Well, I'm really
Speaker 2: sorry for interrupting you. I didn't mean to No, that's okay,
Speaker 2: somewhere right.
Speaker 3: And I don't mean to bring a past you know what,
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that I interrupted equivalent injustices.
Speaker 2: You know what happens is col what Sometimes I get
Speaker 2: over caffeinated for the podcast and I get excited, and
Speaker 2: especially when we have a guest that I'm really excited
Speaker 2: to talk to and really like into.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I will often do the most disabled can I
Speaker 3: tell you I don't mind. And people seem to think
Speaker 3: that I have a problem with you, like kind of
Speaker 3: like getting over enthusiastic, and it's.
Speaker 1: Like that's what I love and I really don't care. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's called a podcast, bitch.
Speaker 2: When they go on, I'm like, why are you infantilizing
Speaker 2: Bowen Like I'm just like, like I'm a child to them,
Speaker 2: it seems like it's like Bowen Yang. If Bowen Yang
Speaker 2: ever thought that I was out of pocket, I have
Speaker 2: heard it, and I would hear it and I would
Speaker 2: think that that's something we shared.
Speaker 1: Love wearing diapers.
Speaker 3: We were talking about this yesterday me Josh Sharp, Max
Speaker 3: Whitert at a party and we were saying that people,
Speaker 3: we just want to try one day where we're in
Speaker 3: an adult diapers just to see what it's like, because
Speaker 3: the models on adult diapers are just the way they
Speaker 3: cast models for adult diapers is so amazing because it
Speaker 3: is these I've been in those rooms. Oh yeah, well
Speaker 3: you never booked, right, But it's people who and this
Speaker 3: is why you didn't book it, because it's people who
Speaker 3: look happy healthy and now you look better. But back
Speaker 3: then you brought me probably looked really gone.
Speaker 1: Drinking and trying to get work as a diaper model.
Speaker 1: And that was my low, that was my rock bottom.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 3: Hungover, you know, lost my phone, lost my wallet. I
Speaker 3: would show up to these castings, put on that diaper.
Speaker 3: It's you know, me and Geena Davis for the for
Speaker 3: the same spot, and she's you know, the Picture of Health,
Speaker 3: the Picture of.
Speaker 1: Health Academy Award winner, be very believable in the.
Speaker 2: Diaper absolutely, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but then of course neither of us got it,
Speaker 3: because that's how this fucked up industry.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I got to say it. Well, I have
Speaker 1: to say something. She booked it. They just they replaced
Speaker 1: her with the coke bear. They put the coke bear
Speaker 1: over her.
Speaker 3: The cocaine bear. Yeah, yes, from Elizabeth Binks's movie. But
Speaker 3: can I tell you something?
Speaker 1: What now with this play World's oyster? It really is you?
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: You really?
Speaker 3: But you want to wear like would you wear the
Speaker 3: diaper like in life? Like under your pants in life,
Speaker 3: like just walk around just to walk around peep? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: for sure, if you're gonna wear it, you might as well,
Speaker 3: use it. I don't if I coop, though I think
Speaker 3: I would pee. I don't think for myself, but I
Speaker 3: don't know if i'd poop on myself. But we just
Speaker 3: want to try one night at the club. Listeners are
Speaker 3: gonna hate this episode. It's so much poop.
Speaker 1: I just telling I'm telling you guys right now.
Speaker 2: I have to say. It would be right in line
Speaker 2: with how they felt about our other episodes recently. So
Speaker 2: that's actually okay, all right, I think I have something
Speaker 2: I have that's great. And this is not three missed calls.
Speaker 2: Oh oh god, that's a little disconcerting, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean?
Speaker 1: I can wait. Okay, Well, where are they from? I'll
Speaker 1: never know because it's like random numbers. It always gives
Speaker 1: me a little bit of anxiety.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is I don't think so honey, and it's
Speaker 2: time stress now, I don't think so honey.
Speaker 1: Pills.
Speaker 3: You want me to put what where in my mouth?
Speaker 3: Here's what my mouth is. For smiling, saying a nice
Speaker 3: compliment to a friend. You look amazing today, both of you.
Speaker 3: How are you gonna get better when you get sick?
Speaker 1: Suckin' fucking rimming?
Speaker 3: Not for swallowing a little rock that might not make
Speaker 3: me better, It might actually make me feel worse. This
Speaker 3: mouth is exit, oh learning, that's right. Nothing goes in
Speaker 3: if I have my drathers, if my perfect days, if
Speaker 3: nothing goes into my mouth, if only stuff comes out
Speaker 3: like a funny joke.
Speaker 1: A word, vomit. I'm just I'll say it, just kidding.
Speaker 1: I need to eat.
Speaker 3: But pills make everything a vaccine or actually I would
Speaker 3: love a microchip in me if it may, if you
Speaker 3: could just download a cure to the brain.
Speaker 1: That's that was perfect. Seems like that was polarizing. Let
Speaker 1: me tell you something. I'm going to get emotional. Go there.
Speaker 2: If you get sick, you better take pills. Because I
Speaker 2: know it's been very tense between us today. But if
Speaker 2: you anything ever happened to you, I would not be
Speaker 2: able to continue on. And I'm not gonna let.
Speaker 1: Cool between us really have wedge.
Speaker 2: By the way, we now know he eats with his butthole,
Speaker 2: with his mouth. Oh yeah, I'm trying to.
Speaker 1: Desperately out here. Okay, okay, okay, worming the anus. Let's
Speaker 1: warm up our bodies, actually relax, roll our shoulders, little.
Speaker 3: Warm ups before every ship I do. That's good has
Speaker 3: taught me a lot about that's a pro. He's a
Speaker 3: he's a pro about like protecting and yeah he's not
Speaker 3: even like actively teaching me.
Speaker 1: I'm just like watching him going cool, here's how you
Speaker 1: do cut cow? That was so mean? That was so mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah that cow, that's that's a that's a tagalog. Yeah
Speaker 1: you better cut that. You better cut that? Can I
Speaker 1: say in a real way? Yes, what happened with your lives?
Speaker 2: Love?
Speaker 1: At the Tony's Thank You? Isn't that weird?
Speaker 2: Thank you?
Speaker 1: It was so good? I guess an overcrowded season, was
Speaker 1: it though? Or I just like a lot of shows.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It was yo, And then I was like when I
Speaker 2: saw that it got almost nothing, I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: maybe it wasn't eligible, maybe that was last year.
Speaker 1: And then fully it was eligible.
Speaker 3: But you know it's like summer movies, how they are
Speaker 3: like less likely to get oscars.
Speaker 1: Like people didn't remember it. Yeah, I guess, or I
Speaker 1: don't know, that's the only explanation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it just was like totally blanked across the
Speaker 2: ward pretty much. I was like, that's so surprising. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so this is actually going to be cool as schools
Speaker 2: and they said that it has to do with feed
Speaker 2: the bird, step into bag something along. Then they're Mary, Yeah,
Speaker 2: very interesting. Well this is coold schools. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 3: And their time starts now, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 3: The scene and Mary Poppins where they go to the bank.
Speaker 3: The movie is six hours long, it is. That scene
Speaker 3: comes in at hour five. It takes up another hour.
Speaker 3: They get a song, the men get a song, and
Speaker 3: I understand the point of that scene is to be boring,
Speaker 3: to show like, oh they need Mary Poppins.
Speaker 1: This is boring. Thirty seconds you know what thematically have
Speaker 1: that scene have no music?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know it's Mary brings the music in and
Speaker 3: for that matter, no music before she comes in either. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: except for maybe the children to show that they want music.
Speaker 3: You know, because when was the last time you watched
Speaker 3: Mary Poppins.
Speaker 1: I watched the returns. No, but this isn't.
Speaker 3: I haven't watched it because you're scared of that bank scene.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. And that's when you're so right,
Speaker 3: And can I tell you something. Yeah, the whole arc
Speaker 3: of Mary Poppins, that movie is like not to bring
Speaker 3: drugs in again. It is like it's all a calm
Speaker 3: down after they go to cartoons, super califradulstic. Pot come down.
Speaker 3: It's Pot comes down. It's like that classic. You're coming
Speaker 3: down off of the feeling.
Speaker 1: High and you're like shaking and shapes and you get
Speaker 1: the and you're like your teeth hurt and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, why did I smoke all that pot drug?
Speaker 1: Waken bake all right, Waken Bacon fly in. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: classic was like.
Speaker 2: Stupid. And Mary Poppins is so fucking dumb crazy you
Speaker 2: were saying before, just like every woman you said that before.
Speaker 2: Mary Poppins is so dumb, just like every crazy, hysterical woman. Now, so.
Speaker 1: Julie Andrews drag Julian Andrews can fuck, can fuck?
Speaker 2: I bet you know what's crazy? What is she has fucked?
Speaker 2: And you know, you think about Julie Andrews and you
Speaker 2: don't think about fucking. But then not everyone has seen
Speaker 2: Victor Vittoria.
Speaker 1: But her career after Sony music was I need to
Speaker 1: like let go of. I think she made a movie
Speaker 1: with Blake Edwards where she was like topless.
Speaker 2: Several movies right after, and there's a lot of subtext
Speaker 2: in Princess Diaries about how she's an informaniac.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Can I coin a phrase?
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey? That was the Kelsey. Well
Speaker 1: now now it's done.
Speaker 2: Now it's done now, and now I just feel silly
Speaker 2: about the whole Can I say something though? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think today this podcast and you guys are back,
Speaker 1: thank you so much like I was, a lot of
Speaker 1: people are period. You're not even kidding. A lot of
Speaker 1: people are going to say, you guys are back, and
Speaker 1: I want you to be friends. Earlier I wanted you
Speaker 1: guys to not be friends.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you something?
Speaker 1: There's nothing you could have said that would have come
Speaker 1: between us? Really? Wow, that really made me scared? Really,
Speaker 1: what do you know?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: Should I? Yeah, that's the dichotomy and don't me Yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: I really just I'm I was worried and now I'm not.
Speaker 1: You're welcome. I hope I bet episode inspired confidence, and
Speaker 1: I hope it inspired period period, and I hope it
Speaker 1: inspired Yeah. Go see what Wicked? Oh Mary? Go see
Speaker 1: Wicked the movie and Oh Mary on Broadway? How do
Speaker 1: you think Wicked the movie is going to be Pretendy's
Speaker 1: not here. Oh I can't wait, I really can't. And
Speaker 1: I've never seen it on stage. You've never seen it.
Speaker 1: I know, I I know I would, I know I would.
Speaker 1: You gotta go, you gotta go. It's that thing where
Speaker 1: I forget that.
Speaker 2: Can just go. Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely can just go.
Speaker 2: In fact, I'm like, I don't have tickets, Like, oh
Speaker 2: you get tickets, you get I was going to say
Speaker 2: you should go tonight, but it's Monday. And famously their.
Speaker 1: Dog is dark. But but oh Mary will not be
Speaker 1: dark on Mondays in the summer.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Perfect. Then then when are you dark then Sundays? You
Speaker 1: did tell me that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh like no. Conrad's like very very, very very religious.
Speaker 1: I'm kidding.
Speaker 2: I was like trying to search my mind. I remember
Speaker 2: if that was true. It's deeply, not deeply he's such
Speaker 2: a heathen.
Speaker 1: Oh he really is. He believes in like up ending
Speaker 1: all social norms. Yeah, chaos.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a Judaeo Christian podcast, by the way,
Speaker 2: so we have to sort of float away from that.
Speaker 3: You did inspire me to go see Hello Dolly by myself?
Speaker 3: Wait where because when when Berner Datt was oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yeah,
Speaker 3: I think you know, I had a conversation.
Speaker 1: It was like I gotta go myself. I couldn't afford it.
Speaker 2: At the time, it was it was like I could
Speaker 2: not get tickets and couldn't afford and I feel so
Speaker 2: fucking crazy that I didn't.
Speaker 1: I feel that way about Patty and Gypsy tickets at
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 2: You know what's weird. I saw a matinee of it,
Speaker 2: and at the time, I was like she was marking
Speaker 2: and I felt crazy thinking that, but like I think.
Speaker 1: She was, well, I'm Laura Ann Crush show is I
Speaker 1: can't imagine doing that fight times.
Speaker 2: See, and that's why I don't go to Matine's and
Speaker 2: it's it's no shade, and I'm sure everyone does. But
Speaker 2: I also think that the performers know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Play I see it on a Thursday night? Yeah great.
Speaker 1: Why do you think Thursday night is the best? I
Speaker 1: am always like, oh, weekends, that's too many shows. They
Speaker 1: might be tired. Tuesday, they're just coming back. Yeah, Wednesday
Speaker 1: sometimes they have a matinee and then have an evening show.
Speaker 3: Andy's amazing. So Thursday is right before that weekend show.
Speaker 3: They've had enough time to you know, Wednesday, having done
Speaker 3: weeks off. Bro, when do you feel strongest. It doesn't matter,
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter. Like some days
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my god, that Sunday matinee was amazing.
Speaker 3: Some days I'm like, oh, Friday night.
Speaker 1: It really is. Like so then that's how Patty was.
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, yeah, it's Patty.
Speaker 1: I don't need to be convinced at all.
Speaker 2: Like I was just like, oh, I think because I
Speaker 2: was with my family, I think, and at the time,
Speaker 2: like always, but we were being sort of like, you know,
Speaker 2: cognizant about how much we were spending on it.
Speaker 1: They were like, oh, let's go to a Wednesday matinee
Speaker 1: or whatever it was.
Speaker 2: And I remember leaving being like, oh, I wish that
Speaker 2: that could have lived up to what my little gay
Speaker 2: brain made it, which was absolute, roaring performance of a
Speaker 2: lifetime at all times.
Speaker 1: And it could have been the audience too. It absolutely
Speaker 1: could have.
Speaker 3: Patty, we love you, one of the best to you.
Speaker 3: We want you, we want you to live, a line
Speaker 3: that we quote all the time from Waiting for Go
Speaker 3: Yeah good one.
Speaker 1: We love you, we want you to live. It's so funny.
Speaker 1: Catherine O'Hare would be a great many Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, would Parker? Oh my god, I mean
Speaker 1: but she's offering white lotus right now. No she's not.
Speaker 1: Oh she was fired. Oh my gosh. Chaotic behavior. Oh, no,
Speaker 1: personal differences. You're kidding, guys, I'm kidding. Okay, April fool,
Speaker 1: you know what I love to say. What you're kidding?
Speaker 1: You're kidding. You're kidding. Oh my god, you're you kidding.
Speaker 2: You can do it so many different ways. No, I'm
Speaker 2: auditioning for you because I really want you to want
Speaker 2: to cast me in the show. You want me to
Speaker 2: catch you want me to want you as Mary. No,
Speaker 2: it's not what I say. No, I don't want that,
Speaker 2: and I don't think i'm right for it.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think yes you are, is me as Abe
Speaker 1: and whatever? Husband, No, I'm not going to say it. Cool.
Speaker 1: Whenever I get auditions, I'm always thinking, oh, getting click,
Speaker 1: should get this? Oh Matt Roger City is I feel
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, but actually less as of late.
Speaker 2: Less as of late, I'm kind of like, Hey, I'm
Speaker 2: in my bad, Like I actually have a big audition
Speaker 2: this week, and I actually think No, I don't think
Speaker 2: there's anyone that that could be that good.
Speaker 1: I don't think you will get that one. No, it's
Speaker 1: too soon. It's too you're not ready. It's too big
Speaker 1: and I only just started. Yeah, well, listener, you have
Speaker 1: to kiss a lot of frogs before you. Sure, Queen,
Speaker 1: we are three NEOs too mean? No, I mean I
Speaker 1: love being. I love being. This is Broadway, baby. You
Speaker 1: watch your back or you wash your mouth.
Speaker 2: You know what. I'm actually you know what.
Speaker 1: I'm actually at work.
Speaker 2: I'm upset for you because we Actually, no, I'm not
Speaker 2: because you're gonna have Sundays off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a real thing. You have to go
Speaker 1: see the Sunset Boulevard with Nicolchure singer. Wait is that
Speaker 1: coming here? Yes, Oh, let's go. Let's go, let's go Sundays.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I went in the West End. It
Speaker 1: was so great. She is perfect in it. The concept
Speaker 1: that they went for Jamie Lloyd.
Speaker 2: Really everyone like, it's an all queer cast, right. I
Speaker 2: wish that were so just because they were they were
Speaker 2: gorge It's all queer cast, right, you're kidding.
Speaker 1: It's Queer's live. It's That's what I was talking.
Speaker 3: It's like a fully like queer crew. All everyone on
Speaker 3: the team is queer is a mab a mab what's
Speaker 3: a sign mail of birth? But something I do want
Speaker 3: to say is I need everyone to buy tickets to
Speaker 3: Bernadette Peters on Fire Island.
Speaker 1: That happening is happening.
Speaker 3: I need everyone to buy tickets so that they add
Speaker 3: a Sunday shows a Saturday and but I think maybe
Speaker 3: a sold out it's on a Saturday in June, or
Speaker 3: that's what they did for Patty last year, that they
Speaker 3: sold out so quickly that they just said.
Speaker 2: I need to know.
Speaker 3: Maybe Bernadette wouldn't want to add a second show, but
Speaker 3: I would.
Speaker 1: But I'm dying.
Speaker 3: This is it look to look to the camera like
Speaker 3: make your make your please mom a day at a
Speaker 3: day she was talking to me.
Speaker 1: At a day of Bernette Peters on Fire Island.
Speaker 2: Growing up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be amazing. I mean we saw this twice.
Speaker 1: I saw both nights were there that weekend.
Speaker 3: I don't know how who got me in. I bought
Speaker 3: the ticket for the second night, the first night tickets.
Speaker 3: I need to know what day it's happening, because you
Speaker 3: gotta go. Well, Bone's working all of June, but I'm
Speaker 3: going to be there.
Speaker 1: Doing what people's Court. Yeah, oh, you would be great
Speaker 1: as like a judge on one of those shows. Well,
Speaker 1: he's not very fair. He barely even let me get
Speaker 1: me throw my thanks. But you have to be more
Speaker 1: entertaining than fair. Right, you're so right. Yeah, and the
Speaker 1: entertaining Yeah, as in making you know, dishes. He's gonna
Speaker 1: show his butt in a movie.
Speaker 3: That's why I've been going to You're gonna see squat
Speaker 3: as squats and hip thrusts. I've never seen my buttthole
Speaker 3: and keep it because of the hair, because of the hair,
Speaker 3: and but just it's the color there.
Speaker 1: Producers are puking, by the way. All the producers are puking.
Speaker 1: By the way. We're all fired. We have to end
Speaker 1: the episode.
Speaker 2: I believe you.
Speaker 1: But I just wanted to read a book for you guys.
Speaker 2: Instead of instead of us ending every episode with the song,
Speaker 2: can you end the episode with an excerpt from a book?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, m hmmm.
Speaker 3: Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed to
Speaker 3: comprehend a nectar requires sorest need not one of all
Speaker 3: the purple hosts who took the flag today can tell
Speaker 3: the definition so clear of Victor A as he defeated,
Speaker 3: dying on whose forbidden ear the distant strains of triumph
Speaker 3: ring agonized and clear.
Speaker 1: That was Jake, he rolling yes, speaking about trans rites.
Speaker 1: Bye bye bye,