WEBVTT - Are Relationships a Waste of Time?? 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280 Hell I Suck At Dating with the Ungler and Jared 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:10.840 Haven and I heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone? 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:13.760 Welcome to an all new episode of Help I Suck 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:18.480 At Dating. This is Dean unglerd guest hosting this episode 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:21.880 with the lovely star of Help I Suck a Dating, 0:00:22.120 --> 0:00:25.759 Jared Haven. Ladies and gentlemen, who might I just give 0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:28.880 Jared a quick silent round of applause real quick. Got 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:32.200 his signs up on autre today per Instagram. At least 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:34.800 that's right now, They're up. They're up and good to go. Dude. 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:36.680 It was cool. So anyway, for anybody who doesn't follow 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:38.440 me on Instagram, which if you listen to this podcast 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:40.320 and you don't follow me, it's totally cool. But like 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:43.320 you can also follow me because it really helps me out. Uh. 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:47.000 I'm opening the coffee shop Audrey's Coffeehouse and Lounge in 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:49.400 South Kingston, Rhode Island. And we got the sign up, 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:53.519 which has been you know, a lengthy process, you know, 0:00:53.600 --> 0:00:55.480 coming up with first of all the name of it 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:59.800 and articulating it after after figuring out was Audrey's, It's like, okay, 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:02.040 well is it gonna be Audrey's Cafe? Is it gonna 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:06.160 be Audrey's Coffee Lounge? Is it gonna be Audrey's you know, 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:08.760 cafe and bar? And so we finally came up with 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:11.000 Audrey's Coffee House and Lounge. And then we've been working 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:14.480 on the logo, going back and forth, figuring out the font. 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:16.920 You man, you don't know how many fonts there are 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:18.840 in the world until you're trying to figure out a logo. 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:21.360 So going back and forth and that was a while, 0:01:21.440 --> 0:01:23.680 and then coming up with the rose as the apostrophe, 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:25.800 and picking out different types of roses, what it was 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:29.520 gonna look like. Finally getting that in there, and then 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:32.600 sending it to the sign company, and then obviously creating 0:01:32.640 --> 0:01:35.680 the sign, getting it shipped over here, and then getting 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:37.399 it put up in place. You know, it's probably like 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:39.640 a three or four month process, and it just it 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.680 makes it feel so much real. Every time I drive to, 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:46.800 you know, the coffee shop, now it says Audrey's Coffee 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:48.600 House and Lounge on the outside, and it makes me 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:52.720 very proud. So it's cool, man, I'm excited. Um, what 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:55.480 about the inside, how's the inside coming along? It's coming along, man, 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:57.720 Tons of furniture in there. We've got a lot of equipment. 0:01:57.760 --> 0:02:01.160 I mean, I'm not saying anything that you know, people 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:04.600 already don't know, but there's obviously a huge issue with 0:02:04.680 --> 0:02:09.400 manufacturing right now. Cargo ships can't enter the States, and 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:13.160 everybody's behind and doesn't have product, and they don't have 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:16.239 enough people to work, and it's just it's pretty crazy 0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:19.440 right now. And so what usually takes a week takes 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:22.960 you know, five weeks now, and everybody's behind. It's not 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:27.760 just me. So it's coming along with the equipment, furniture, 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:31.160 and then you know, I have electricians and plumbers and 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:34.960 installation people coming in and out every day. I actually 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:36.560 just left there and then I gotta go back right 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:39.160 after this podcast. But dude, honestly, every aspect of it 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:41.680 so far, except for the past week. The past week 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:43.679 has been a little overwhelming, but I love it. It's 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:48.400 been so much fun, you know, creating this concept, figuring 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:50.640 out what we're gonna do, how we're gonna sell things, 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:52.960 how the operation is going to be run, you know, 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.600 bringing generous coffee and so having been being a part 0:02:55.680 --> 0:02:57.240 of it in a way, having you guys be a 0:02:57.280 --> 0:02:59.440 part of it, kind of come up with, you know, drinks. 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:01.840 I was gonna ask you this too. I told you 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:04.000 I think a couple of weeks ago, but I want, 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:06.400 you know, all of our bachelor friends to come up 0:03:06.440 --> 0:03:10.200 with some sort of quote about dating or relationships, and uh, 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:13.600 we'll have cards, you know, and it will be like, 0:03:13.720 --> 0:03:16.200 you know, a quote about love from Dean Angler. And 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:18.400 obviously it would be something silly and stupid, because you know, 0:03:18.480 --> 0:03:21.320 I've already got mine. What's it gonna be. It's gonna 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:24.959 be coffee is like dating. You gotta try it. All 0:03:27.120 --> 0:03:33.040 that is awesome. Yeah at Dean anglert Um perfect. So dude, Yeah, 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:35.800 it's been cool, man, it's been fun. Um. Caylin asked 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:37.600 me this yesterday. I didn't have an answer for her. 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:40.000 She wanted to know when it uh tentatively is going 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:42.320 to be opening, hopefully later this month. As long as 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:45.160 things get into place and we're ready to rock and roll. 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:47.880 I can't imagine that we wouldn't open by the latest 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:49.840 early November, because you guys want to be able to 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:53.320 strike hot with pumpkin spice latte season among us. Oh 0:03:53.440 --> 0:03:55.720 of course, man, We're gonna have so much pumpkin and 0:03:55.840 --> 0:04:01.160 eggnog flavors and caramel and chocolate and whatever else. Ashley wants. 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:03.000 I thought it was gonna be February for some reason. 0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:04.400 I don't know why, but I guess when I saw 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.119 your video of the inside and I was like, oh, 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:09.560 that's like still pretty far away from being finished. So 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:12.120 that was about two months prior that video I took 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:14.720 about two and a half months ago, and um, it's 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:17.039 a lot different now and I'm excited to show people 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:21.520 new floors, new paint, uh, furnitures in their more equipment. 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:26.280 We actually had our computer system installed today and um, 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:28.960 it's definitely scary. I'm not gonna lie. What is it 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:32.040 like building out a business as an influencer? Are you 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:35.679 able to like partner with furniture companies to like furnish 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:39.040 the inside of the I was telling Ashley this yesterday. 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:42.200 I don't know how anybody's doing anything without Instagram following. 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:45.880 Right now, I feel so grateful and blessed and appreciative. 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:49.159 I always have been of people that choose to follow 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:51.200 me on social media, just as I know you are. 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:53.719 Were like, I don't know why people follow us, but 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:56.880 I feel incredibly lucky that they do because it helps 0:04:56.880 --> 0:05:01.640 me out so much. Even dude, so hiring is obviously 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:04.000 very difficult for a lot of business owners out there. 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:06.960 Ashley has posted two things on Instagram and I've gotten 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:10.280 like twenty resumes just from that, and I've interviewed them 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:12.440 all and they're all great, and they're all excited to 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:15.320 work there. And you know a lot of that also 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:17.960 comes from them being fans of the show and an 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:20.479 opportunity to work with us. But that's fine by me. 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:23.800 And and it's just, you know, I've been able to 0:05:23.839 --> 0:05:27.160 even post things on on like even when I post 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:30.279 videos of like the coffee shop, people DM me and 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:32.159 be like, hey, I do this if you want anything 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:34.920 or you need help. And like somebody reached out to 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:38.839 Ashley when she posted something on Instagram. Uh, and she's 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:40.800 gonna do. We just hired her to do a mural 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:46.160 inside the coffee shop and she created this beautiful, beautiful 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:49.599 um landscape and it's just and like, I would never 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:52.680 have I would never have found her had she not 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:55.520 reached out after Ashley posted that thing. So it's like, 0:05:56.200 --> 0:05:57.800 you know, I don't even know who to reach out to. 0:05:57.880 --> 0:05:59.560 And I've been so lucky that people reach out to 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:03.440 me sometimes. Um, yeah, that's funny that you say that. 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:05.760 I definitely agree Kaylin has done a great job of 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:08.200 decorator in house as well, and a lot of that 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:11.960 has been through business partnerships that she's gotten. So I 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:14.560 mean we're definitely one of the some of the lucky 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:18.880 ones out there. Umah, yeah, that's what's like the starting 0:06:18.880 --> 0:06:21.840 wage for barista. And I'm asking because I might consider 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:25.200 applying as well. You're gonna have Amy Unis on later, 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:28.000 and she talks a lot about women in transition after divorce. 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:31.080 I want to know, like, if I were to transition 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:33.280 from being a quote unquote influencer to like wanting to 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:36.279 be a barista, what could I expect for my my pay. Well, 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:38.600 so we are coffee house and lounge, so you'd be 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:41.600 a baristas slash bartender, which is totally cool. I'll cross 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:43.840 train you. It's gonna be super easy, you know, Deane, 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:47.640 since we're friends, we go way back, you know, I'll 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:53.560 give you. I'll start your offense like eight. That's so 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:56.839 generous of you. I'll give you a really good compensation, 0:06:57.000 --> 0:06:59.239 make sure you enjoy the job. You can't collect tips. 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:01.640 All the tips go to make but a fifty an hour. 0:07:01.760 --> 0:07:04.159 I'll start yet and we'll see how you go. Maybe 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:07.040 we'll bump you up in three years to eight sixty um. 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:09.720 For for reference everyone that's listening to this podcast, that's 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:12.320 a three dollars below the Rhode Island minimum wage, which 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:14.520 is eleven fifties. So I appreciate that, and we're not 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:16.280 going to talk about that. We're fine. This is my 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:19.880 minimum wage. This is the bachelor minimum, which very generous. Man, 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:23.000 the minimum wages eleven fifty. I wit, like, I know, 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:27.360 the minimum wage in the and the minimum like living 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:30.560 wage are way different. Obviously, back when we were like 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:35.280 working those types of jobs like hospitality or in restaurants. 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:37.480 Minimum wage back then, I can't remember what it was 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:39.000 for me in Colorado Springs, but I want to say 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:41.280 it was like a six dollars and cents. Oh yeah, man, 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:43.960 I remember my first job at the Hollywood Video I 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:47.000 think I was making like seven bucks an hour. Granted 0:07:47.040 --> 0:07:50.040 that was you know, it's a fifteen years ago. Oh 0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:54.760 my god, so I just wow, my, I just I 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:57.960 just threw up into my mouth a little bit because 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:00.080 I was about to say like ten years ago, and 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:03.080 I'm like, nope, that was fifth teen years ago when 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:06.120 I got hired at that job. It's definitely It's definitely 0:08:06.160 --> 0:08:08.000 good that it keeps going up. I think there should 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:10.080 be like a minimum living wage, right and that is 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:11.880 definitely not higher than what it was when we were kids. 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:13.800 But man, it's crazy to think that we used to 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:17.560 work for absolute peanuts and well we were sixteen. Man, Like, dude, 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:19.720 if I got seventy bucks a week, I was like, 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:23.240 I'm rich. I'm going like, We're going out to Domino's tonight. 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:25.400 What do we want to talk about this episode? Jared 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:27.360 Phillison on what we what we have in store? So 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:29.320 of course we have. We have two guests that are 0:08:29.360 --> 0:08:31.960 coming up. One is Amy UTIs, who is a life 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:37.520 coach uh specifically she helps women um date after divorce. 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:40.480 She is a woman of divorce and she has been 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:45.280 in relationships since her divorce, long term relationships, including pretty 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:48.800 much jumping into a five year relationship immediately following her divorce. 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:50.920 So she's gonna come on talk about that. And we 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:52.720 also have a buddy of mind coming on the podcast 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:54.679 a little bit later. He's a cancer survivor. His name 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:58.480 is Cody O'Connor. Now he has an incredible story. This 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:02.320 dude is walking literally early across the country. He started 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:05.079 back in June in New York and he's walking all 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:07.839 the way from New York to Los Angeles. He should 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:09.600 be in l A by about Christmas time. I think 0:09:09.640 --> 0:09:12.000 he's in Kansas City right now. And he's doing it 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:15.280 to raise money for pediatric cancer patients. So he's a 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:18.200 survivor of cancer. He wanted to give back in any 0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:20.840 way he could, and he I forget what type of 0:09:20.880 --> 0:09:23.920 cancer he had, excuse me, but he was told at 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:25.240 one point in his life that he was never gonna 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:27.360 walk again, which is why he came up with this walk, 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:29.959 and he ended up to find the odds started walking. 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:33.160 Now he's cancer free, and he always had this idea 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:35.160 of because the doctors told me I would never be 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:37.319 able to walk, I want to walk across the country. 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:39.200 And he's doing it to try to raise money for 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:43.160 pediatric cancer families, cancer patients and their families. And this 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:45.199 dude is so inspiring. I've talked to him a few times. 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:46.960 I didn't Instagram Live with them. Ben is the one 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:48.640 who actually put me in contact with him. So he's 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:50.160 gonna come on a little bit later and just give 0:09:50.200 --> 0:09:52.280 us a little bit of a lowdown of his story 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:54.680 where he's at, how he's feeling. I mean, the dude 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:57.520 literally is walking across the country. It's insane and he's 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.000 doing some great things. But before we get to our two, 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.800 guess I do have well we have some hot topics 0:10:02.800 --> 0:10:05.880 my friend. Uh yeah, before we get to the hot 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:08.720 topics quick, for the record, it's it was bone cancer, 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:13.120 bone cancer? Thank you? Yes? Um wow, this is an 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:16.400 interesting segway talk about like we're gonna talk about Megan 0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:20.640 King and uh connected with cuff Owens on a dating app. 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:24.079 First of all, do we know who tough Owens is? 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:27.320 Follow up question? Do we know who Megan King is? Yeah? 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:31.160 Of course Megan King's got she used to be. Where's 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:36.160 that am I thinking of? Who's Jim Edmond's ex wife? Yeah? 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:39.600 Megan King? Thank you? All right? You know Jim Edmonds? Right? 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:44.080 I don't at all know the baseball player Jim Edmonds. 0:10:44.160 --> 0:10:48.559 He played baseball center fielder for the Okay, why is 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:50.960 Jim Emmen so famous? I mean I know he's a ballplayer, 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:52.840 but like, why was they on Were they on a 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:57.319 reality TV show or something? Oh, she was a housewife, 0:10:57.320 --> 0:10:59.559 ash So Ashley's yelling from the other room. God, she's 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:02.280 so good at context. So Megan was a real housewife. 0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:05.280 Jim was a baseball player. He was dude, you remember 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:07.959 this guy. He used to make like top ten plays 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:10.280 all the time, full extension diving plays. I think he 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:12.560 was a center fielder for the Cardinals. But I digress. 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:16.200 So he married a real housewife. Maybe that's why they're famous. Anyway, 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:18.520 So Megan and Jim are divorced, and now she's dating 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:21.160 this dude named cuff Owens, who apparently in this article 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:27.000 says that he is the son of President Joe Biden. Oh, okay, 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:31.880 they just got married. Wait. Wait, cuff Owens Joe Biden's nephew, 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:36.719 according to People dot Com. Okay, so he's his nephew. Okay. 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:39.560 I was like, it's definitely not his son. Okay, So 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:42.559 cuff Owens is the nephew of President Joe Biden. Megan 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:46.360 King just married him, and they apparently met each other's 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:49.240 family after one week of dating, which is at the 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:52.120 core of what we're getting at here. So apparently they 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:54.920 met online, they connected on a dating app, they texted 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:57.600 for a day two, and then they spent five straight 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:00.600 hours on the phone when they first spoke. Now, this 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:03.319 is where it gets a little Craig Craig. So by 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:05.960 the time that call ended, their first phone call ever, 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:10.600 after five hours, Cuff was booked and packed for a 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:14.000 flight to St. Louis. That took off an eight hours, 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.680 and within a week they were both back on the 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:21.079 East Coast together, meeting his family and starting to plan 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:25.520 their future together. That's crazy. So they just got married 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:29.080 on Monday, small ceremony at their home. I'm curious how 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:32.240 long they were dating before they got married. A month. 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:36.319 They were dating a month, man, I thank god you're here, Ashley. 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.440 He's got the inside and phone everything. So they were mad. 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:42.200 So they were together for a month, started talking about 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:45.359 their future after eight days of knowing each other, including 0:12:45.920 --> 0:12:50.520 him booking a flight after the first phone call, and 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:54.080 now they're married. This is gonna end disastrously. Yeah, I mean, 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:57.160 it's definitely gonna end disastrously. You can't marry someone after 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.160 that short amount of time. Apparently. I was just doing 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:02.640 a quick research on him on exact networth dot com 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:05.679 Cuff owens, although his net worth is unknown, he's an 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:09.280 attorney in Los Angeles and he's forty two years old, 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:13.000 and that's all I was really able to gather on him. Hey, 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:16.440 listen when you know, you know it sounds like Megan King, Um, 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:18.600 you know, I don't. I don't watch these um real 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:23.720 Housewives of Whatever shows. Kalen Kylin does, and I, you know, 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:25.439 from time to time I'll sit down and watch for 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:29.320 a little bit. You sound like every guy that's ever 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:31.600 approached us. And it was like, you know, I don't 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:34.120 watch the show, my wife does. And then you start 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:37.640 talking to him and they know everything about the show. No, no, 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:39.440 no, no no, no. This this is different because I know 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:44.040 absolutely nothing. All I know about the show is that, Um, 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:46.199 how do I how do I say this delicately? Like 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:51.000 the people? The people on that show, the Real Housewives particularly, 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:55.760 are very eccentric and they're they're just they just go 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:59.199 about living life a little bit differently than everyone else. 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.480 And so the fact that she's marrying this guy after 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:05.679 a month is, um, it's surprising. But then you take 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:09.240 into account that she's a real housewife of whatever, and 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:11.720 it becomes a little bit more understandable because that's kind 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:13.679 of exactly the type of behavior I would expect from 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.160 those people on that show. They could be nice and 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:18.160 all that kind of stuff, but they are nice. I've 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:22.920 met Megan, she's extremely nice. Yeah, I just um, they 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:25.160 just they're just they're just they live life by the 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:28.120 beat of their own drum, you know. Yeah, it's just 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:32.400 very impulsive because yeah, okay, Ash, how long were Megan 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:37.920 King and Jim Emmons married for? Okay, so they so 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.280 she was married for four or five years. They got 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:42.200 a divorce a few years ago. I remember that was 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:45.680 a couple of years ago at least. And I feel 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:48.360 like Megan King would know better than anybody to not 0:14:48.520 --> 0:14:51.760 rush into anything like this because who would want to 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:57.160 get divorced again? Who knows? Who knows? I feel weird 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:59.280 commenting on this type of stuff because again, like I 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:03.160 have no real will understanding of the situation. But it's 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:05.920 just it's like all a little a little wonky, right, 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:09.640 Like you can't help but think something is is is 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:12.840 missing or misfiring because you don't you just don't. You 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:15.120 just don't go up and get married to someone after 0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:16.560 a month. But at the end of the day too, 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:19.360 like on the flip side of it, I feel like 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:21.120 if you talk to your grandparents, you they're like, yeah, 0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:22.680 I knew the day that I met her that she 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:23.960 was the one I was going to spend the rest 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:25.360 of my life with and we got married a week 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:28.160 later in a barn down a mile away from the house. 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:31.120 You know, you're like, it's so romantic nowadays. We're like 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:33.960 in the moment, we're like, what, that's weird. You know, 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:36.800 you bring up a valid point, my friend. Plus, here's 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:40.200 two guys from a bachelor franchise saying that someone shouldn't 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:43.320 get married after a month when we were on shows 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:45.720 where you propose to someone after knowing that after me 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.480 and a half weeks. So although neither of us did that, 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:51.080 so I do think that gives us a little more 0:15:51.320 --> 0:15:53.360 of a of a cushion to talk about, you know. Yeah, 0:15:53.440 --> 0:15:57.400 even when producers asked him to right, producers asked you too, 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.760 and you said me, my friend, we all saw the 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:05.840 US Weekly headlines last week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love um. 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:09.000 It's so much fun when a little off handed comments 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:11.720 I make on this podcast gets run by those magazines 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:14.680 and then uh, people take to Twitter and Instagram and 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:16.760 just you know, say really mean things about me. But 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:18.280 it is what it is. This, this is the this 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:19.880 is the world we signed up to live in. And 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:22.680 I guess it pays the bill. So that's all that's 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:24.920 all that matters to me. Yeah, we put our Herbie 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:28.200 Hancock's signature on that thing a long time ago. My friend, 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:31.680 one more hot topic before we move on. Uh So 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:34.320 this is an article from Bustle. It's most relationships and 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:37.320 but that doesn't mean they were a failure. There are 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:40.440 many benchmarks for measuring the quote success of a relationship. 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:43.160 With this in mind, marriage or otherwise being together forever 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:46.080 doesn't have to be the golden standard of what we 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:49.240 want with someone and beat ourselves up for losing. The 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:52.360 goal of love can just be having a nice time. 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.240 It can be letting yourself feel things you haven't felt 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:58.720 in a long time or have never felt before. This 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:01.840 perspective isn't just to ease the pain from breakups as 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:04.440 they happen. It is also to help make the best 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:07.800 choices in the present moment. There is no prize for 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:10.399 staying in a relationship longer than you really want to 0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:13.439 just because you're afraid to quote fail or don't want 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:18.800 to confront nose, confront annoying relatives during the holidays, regardless 0:17:18.840 --> 0:17:20.600 of how things come to a close. When the goal 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:23.119 is love for love instead of love for always, a 0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:27.600 relationships end doesn't spell failure. Breaking up doesn't mean you 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:31.040 wasted your time or theirs, and moving in different directions 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:34.359 doesn't necessarily lessen the beauty of the time when you 0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:37.159 were in the same place. Do you agree with that? I? 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:39.840 I do agree with it. I think that there are certain, 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:43.800 um like certain caveats to that type of thinking. But 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:46.200 I would say, like, there's no such thing as a 0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:49.000 as a wasted moment, because like every moment is a 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:51.320 learning opportunity. Like that's kind of essentially what they're saying. 0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:54.080 It sounds like, um and I agree with that. Like, 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:57.199 you know, you wouldn't be in your great relationship with 0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:59.760 Ashley if you didn't have all of those quote unquote 0:17:59.760 --> 0:18:02.840 fail relationships with people beforehand. And same with me with Kaylin. 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:05.280 You know, like I've I've definitely had a lot of 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:08.200 uh in the moment. Maybe they felt like bad relationships, 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:12.600 but they kind of acted as learning experiences for me. 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:14.359 And I think as long as you approach those types 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:17.000 of things with that mentality of like, oh, yeah, that 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:19.560 really sucked, but now I know what I don't want 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:22.880 for the next time. You know, it's it's it's it's 0:18:22.880 --> 0:18:25.440 just kind of flipping your perspective is what it sounds like, right, Yeah, 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:28.560 I couldn't agree more. I never thought I never understood 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:30.280 why people would say, oh, it was such a waste 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:32.480 of time, I wasted three years on that person. No, 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:35.119 you didn't, and you had so many different experiences and 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:39.200 you learned, you loved, you grew, you just lived life people. 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.240 That's what it's all about, living life. Uh. And this 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:44.320 is actually a good segue because we're going to talk 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:47.920 to Amy about you know, quote unquote time wasted after 0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:50.199 you know, she got divorced, and I wonder if she 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.040 feels like her time was wasted at all. But that's 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:55.879 a conversation when Amy is here. I will say that 0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:58.159 there are, um and I'm sure you would agree with this, 0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:01.000 there are certain situations, like you know, talking about like 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:03.320 abusive situations where you're like, okay, that wasn't that was 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:05.479 an absolute waste? Well, yeah, that's an extreme. I mean, 0:19:05.520 --> 0:19:08.520 if you're talking about any type of physical especially physical, 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:11.720 but emotional abuse too within a relationship, yeah, that's that's 0:19:11.720 --> 0:19:14.800 a whole different. Then you're allowed to say you wasted 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:16.000 a couple of years of your life if you were 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:17.760 with someone that was doing that kind of stuff. Yeah 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:19.960 a jerk. Um. But like I said, we have Amy 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:22.359 coming up next, So before she comes on, let's take 0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:35.280 a quick break. All right, welcome back to help I 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:37.880 suck at dating of course, Dean myself, and we're joined 0:19:37.880 --> 0:19:42.119 by a very special guest. Uh. She is a dating 0:19:42.359 --> 0:19:46.480 health coach. Uh. Well let me how about this. It's Amy. 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:48.800 You just ladies and gentlemen, and Amy tell us who 0:19:48.840 --> 0:19:52.320 you are? Awesome? Uh and you got the last name right. 0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:54.199 So first of all, thank you for that. I have 0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:55.760 to I have to really think the producers for that. 0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:59.359 I'm not gonna lie. Uh. So thank you both for 0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:00.960 having me. Very nice to meet you, and I have 0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:02.760 to tell you my seventeen year old daughter is a 0:20:02.800 --> 0:20:07.719