WEBVTT - Driving Me Racist: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

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<v Speaker 1>Motherfucking many years sold, motherfucking many years. Yep, yep, yep,

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<v Speaker 1>there it is there, And yes, ladies and gentlemen, welcome

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<v Speaker 1>to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the

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<v Speaker 1>podcast where we died deep, deep into the pockets of

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<v Speaker 1>black conspiracy theories and we honorly worked to approve the

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<v Speaker 1>theories that you the listeners have at home. Bitch that

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<v Speaker 1>I mentioned it's a mini episode, I probably didn't, but

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<v Speaker 1>you know the game, baby, it's motherfucking Thursday, which means

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<v Speaker 1>it's a motherfucking many episode. And it is just as

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<v Speaker 1>many and just as I guess, uh, motherfucking as all

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<v Speaker 1>of the other motherfucking many episodes. And I'm excited it's

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<v Speaker 1>gonna be a good one because today's episode comes to

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<v Speaker 1>us from a person representing the Caucus region of this country.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right, a Caucasian person sent me a message that

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<v Speaker 1>I thought was worth diving into. And I'm excited to

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<v Speaker 1>read you this message today. It comes from a gentle person,

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<v Speaker 1>A gentle person, let's say, a gentle person that seems

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<v Speaker 1>very piece in today's uh today's times, you know, to say,

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<v Speaker 1>a gentle person. We're not gonna gender this individual, but

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<v Speaker 1>Greg which as a gender tone to it. But that's

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<v Speaker 1>my antiquated brain kicking in. You know, that's me needing

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<v Speaker 1>to grow past my own bullshit. That said, Greg sent

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<v Speaker 1>me something he started with just Lengston Comma, which feels

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<v Speaker 1>like I'm about to get a stern talking to. But

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<v Speaker 1>Greg said Langston. I love the My Mama Told Me podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>and I have been thinking about this one ever since

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<v Speaker 1>I started listening. I am white and grew up in

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<v Speaker 1>a predominantly white area, so I'm having flash facts of

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<v Speaker 1>how racist things were around me as a kid. One

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<v Speaker 1>thing that cycled around in my school was that the

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<v Speaker 1>car company named Pontiac was actually an acronym for poor

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<v Speaker 1>old in word. Thinks it's a cadillact. Now, I want

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<v Speaker 1>to be clear that Greg did put in word. He

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<v Speaker 1>didn't write nigga. I don't know the rules around writing

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<v Speaker 1>nigga for white people. I think if you're sending it

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<v Speaker 1>as an email to a black man, you probably should

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<v Speaker 1>just say in word, and Greg did exactly that. So

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<v Speaker 1>good for you. Greg. Anyway, he says, obviously this is

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<v Speaker 1>pretty horrible, But I didn't know if it was a

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<v Speaker 1>common thing or just for my just from my areas,

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<v Speaker 1>figured it would be a good mini episode topic. Thanks Greg. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So Greg, first of all, thank you for sending me this.

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<v Speaker 1>I had never heard of this before in my life.

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<v Speaker 1>I think, whatever racist ship hole you come from, Greg's,

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<v Speaker 1>this is special to y'all because this wasn't something kicking

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<v Speaker 1>around in my Chicago suburb. That said, I was very

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<v Speaker 1>excited to read it, not not because I was excited

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<v Speaker 1>that people behave this way, but more because it did

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<v Speaker 1>seem like a fun thing to dig into. And I

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<v Speaker 1>did exactly that, Greg, I dug in. I did my research.

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<v Speaker 1>I spent I would argue minutes figuring out real answers

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<v Speaker 1>to your hypothetical of whether or not Pontiac the the

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<v Speaker 1>legitimate car company Pontiac defunct in two thousand and ten.

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<v Speaker 1>I might add, but the the once legitimate card company

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<v Speaker 1>Pontiac was in fact hiding an acronym. Poor old Nigga

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<v Speaker 1>thinks it's a Cadillac. Now, as it turns out to Greg,

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<v Speaker 1>to answer your question, Pontiac is not an acronym at all.

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<v Speaker 1>That suggestion was not at all real. This wasn't a

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<v Speaker 1>secret acronym. The Pontiac line of vehicles was actually named

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<v Speaker 1>after a legendary Ottawa chief who bravely fought against the

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<v Speaker 1>British nearly two and fifty years ago. He basically teamed

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<v Speaker 1>up with American soldiers and he was most known I

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<v Speaker 1>guess for like sort of like uniting the Native nations

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<v Speaker 1>at the time. That like, he was a dope speaker

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<v Speaker 1>and a great leader, and he got a bunch of

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<v Speaker 1>communities that otherwise wouldn't have participated in the fighting to

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<v Speaker 1>join forces. Now, in the Wikipedia, and this is important,

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<v Speaker 1>it also says that the namesake for the city of Pontiac,

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<v Speaker 1>Michigan comes from this guy, so Chief Pontiac. He was

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<v Speaker 1>part of the naming of both the Pontiac vehicles and Pontiac, Michigan.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I said named and this is important. It says

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<v Speaker 1>in the Wikipedia that he gave his name to the

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<v Speaker 1>city of Pontiac, which I find to be pretty unlikely,

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<v Speaker 1>do you know what I mean. It's just hard to

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<v Speaker 1>imagine he was. He was lying on his deathbed like

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<v Speaker 1>I want to give my name. I want to give

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<v Speaker 1>my name to a city filled with with white people,

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<v Speaker 1>filthy white people who will eventually claim that that my

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<v Speaker 1>name is an acronym to antagonize poor black people none

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<v Speaker 1>of us have ever met. And then he died. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>that's that's hard to believe, that old Pontiac that was

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<v Speaker 1>its plan. But the ironic part is that Chief Pontiac

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<v Speaker 1>decided to fight against the British because he is said

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<v Speaker 1>to have realized that under British rule his people would

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<v Speaker 1>no longer be welcomed in the forts, and that they

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<v Speaker 1>would ultimately be deprived of their hunting grounds by aggressive

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<v Speaker 1>settlers encroaching upon their ancestral lands. Now, not like the Americans, who,

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<v Speaker 1>as we all know, ended up being super cool to

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<v Speaker 1>the Native Americans. And I have no notes for you

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<v Speaker 1>white people. You nailed it perfect, perfect perfect is there

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<v Speaker 1>truly put his faith in the Americans, thinking that the

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<v Speaker 1>British were gonna do wrong by them, which they probably

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<v Speaker 1>would have. I don't want to confuse this. The British

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<v Speaker 1>were probably gonna be pieces of shipped to the Native Americans,

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<v Speaker 1>But unfortunately, so were the the fake Americans, who had

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<v Speaker 1>already sort of made plans to steal all of this

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<v Speaker 1>land from the Ottawa people and all of the other

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<v Speaker 1>Native tribes that surrounded the Great Lakes and everywhere else

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<v Speaker 1>that they already lived in this country. Now, it's likely

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<v Speaker 1>that the cause for this supposed acronym that you're talking about, Greg,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm sure you know this already, is that Pontiacs

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<v Speaker 1>were sort of known for being a pseudo luxury brand.

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<v Speaker 1>They really wanted to be a lot fancier and more

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<v Speaker 1>classy than they ended up being received. They started out

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<v Speaker 1>as this company attempting to make like luxury sedans. These

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<v Speaker 1>were these were cool, sexy cars for the working man,

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<v Speaker 1>and then out of nowhere because and it's not out

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<v Speaker 1>of nowhere, because they more or less weren't as welcomed

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<v Speaker 1>as one would hope. They weren't sort of like matching

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<v Speaker 1>the success of your Cadillacsia, Lincoln's, your Buicks at the time.

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<v Speaker 1>They started attempting then to make muscle cars, and that's

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<v Speaker 1>where they found their success. They made some some cool

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<v Speaker 1>muscle cars, but then you know, muscle cars sort of

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<v Speaker 1>like uh, they that's not how you keep the business alive,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, you kind of have to to be able

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<v Speaker 1>to sell more cars and more functional vehicles. And by

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<v Speaker 1>the time they ended they dead it out in two

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<v Speaker 1>thousand and ten, they had to declare bankruptcy in two

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<v Speaker 1>thousand nine. Basically, after the the financial crisis of two

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<v Speaker 1>thousand and eight, the company GM had to make some

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<v Speaker 1>decisions and they were like, hey, you guys make bullshit, Pontiac,

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<v Speaker 1>We're we're gonna kill you off. And so Pontiac, running

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<v Speaker 1>out of money, had to kill themselves off. And it's

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<v Speaker 1>a fair decision because by the time that they dead

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<v Speaker 1>it out, they were making weird SUVs, like something called

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<v Speaker 1>the Pontiac Montana, which I had never heard of, but

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<v Speaker 1>if you look it up, you'll see exactly why they

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<v Speaker 1>didn't keep making that move. And then even worse, they

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<v Speaker 1>made something which is objectively known as one of the

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<v Speaker 1>worst vehicles of all time, which is the Pontiac ASTech. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how many of you remember the Pontiac Astec,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'll describe it for you now because I had

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<v Speaker 1>to read. I had to look it up again just

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<v Speaker 1>to remember why it disgusted me. But the Pontiac aztect

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<v Speaker 1>basically looks like if a turtle and a Tetris piece

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<v Speaker 1>fucked and then had a real weird baby, you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I mean, Just turtle beating them guts up in

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<v Speaker 1>a Tetris piece and then that Tetris piece gives a birth.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why the Tetris piece would be the

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<v Speaker 1>one giving birth and not the turtle. It seems like

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<v Speaker 1>the Tetris piece would be easier to insert in the

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<v Speaker 1>turtle wherever turtle pussy is kept. But as it turns out,

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<v Speaker 1>in my imagination, the turtles the one fucking and the

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<v Speaker 1>tetrispiece is the one making the baby. I'm real progressive

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<v Speaker 1>in that way. I can see beyond your norms. You're

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<v Speaker 1>conforming norms, and I see something more beautiful, which is

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<v Speaker 1>a Tetris piece with its breaks up on stirrups, as

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<v Speaker 1>as something real fucked up like a pontiac aztec crawls

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<v Speaker 1>out of its its whole. Now anyway, I'll keep going.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't have to get that graphic. Apparently, these acronyms

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<v Speaker 1>are largely regional and do seem to correlate with the

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<v Speaker 1>things that people personally hate. So like your community, Greg,

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<v Speaker 1>you hate black people and not you personally, obviously you

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<v Speaker 1>don't you you like at least one black person, and

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<v Speaker 1>that's all we ask, you know, That's all I ask

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<v Speaker 1>of of any white person, like at least one you know, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I go to two or three. Just find one you

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<v Speaker 1>dig and write them letters. Anyway, the acronyms are not

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<v Speaker 1>limited to just hating black people. Actually found a website

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<v Speaker 1>that had a list of potential acronyms that for some

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<v Speaker 1>reason are rated on the side. People have the chance

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<v Speaker 1>to rate some of these acronyms, and some of them

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<v Speaker 1>are pretty uh fucked up, just equally fucked up to

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<v Speaker 1>that uh, the one from before. So there's things like

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<v Speaker 1>puts out to Pontiac's nance for puts out noxious toxins

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<v Speaker 1>in all cities, which I don't know what that means. Pontiac.

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<v Speaker 1>People on narcotics think it's a Chevy. That one's funny

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<v Speaker 1>to me. I enjoyed that one. Pontiac. Poor old Nut

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<v Speaker 1>thinks it's a Cadillac. Now we know, Nut in this situation,

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<v Speaker 1>depending on who you're talking to, could be something else.

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<v Speaker 1>There's poor old Norwegian thinks it's a Cadillac. Poor old

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<v Speaker 1>Nutter thinks it's a Cadillac. Poor old end thinks it's

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<v Speaker 1>a Cadillac. Now we know what that end stands for,

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<v Speaker 1>don't we? People People of classy, normal thinking intelligence, acting

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<v Speaker 1>classy Uh that you know, Yeah, it's it's a little.

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<v Speaker 1>It feels wordy. It feels like you're working too hard

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<v Speaker 1>on that one. Pontiac pull over, Now the injectors are cooked.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's here's the one that I enjoyed. Pontiac Packer Woods

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<v Speaker 1>of Nascar thinks it's a Chevy. Now I love hearing

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<v Speaker 1>a white person get called a Peckerwood. That's fun for me.

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<v Speaker 1>So that was my favorite. If I have the option

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<v Speaker 1>to rate it, I'm giving it a five stars. Baby,

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<v Speaker 1>that's a great one. Poor old New Yorker thinks it's

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<v Speaker 1>a Cadillac. Pontiac only never think install a chevy people

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<v Speaker 1>of native tribes inside a casino. That one super racist

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<v Speaker 1>because it's actually a native name, paid overnight to inject

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<v Speaker 1>air coolant. Poor old Neo Height thinks it's a Cadillac.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure that's a racist word that I'm less familiar

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<v Speaker 1>worth with with worth who can talk nowadays, who has

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<v Speaker 1>the time to talk? Well, you know that's what I

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<v Speaker 1>always say. Pontiac parents of nabline now now by loan

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<v Speaker 1>take it and crash. God damn, that's probably some racist

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<v Speaker 1>shit about black people. Pontiac, but old tractor traded as

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<v Speaker 1>a Corolla, and then poor oldies, not trash. It's awesome.

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<v Speaker 1>Come on, people worked really hard to hide those acronyms,

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<v Speaker 1>which in all likelihood were just long form ways of

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<v Speaker 1>being mad at black people. Now getting back to some

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<v Speaker 1>of these acronyms, it did make me excited that Cadillac

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<v Speaker 1>and these other companies were treated with such uh, they

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<v Speaker 1>were revered in such positive ways. And so I got

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<v Speaker 1>to thinking, wouldn't it be fun if there were other

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<v Speaker 1>acronyms that that were sort of floating around in Greg's neighborhood,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like whit What if there were other acronyms

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<v Speaker 1>for some of these other cars that are just mad

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<v Speaker 1>at black people, like Cadillac. What if Cadillac meant uh

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<v Speaker 1>con ass darky is licking lips at chicken. You know

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<v Speaker 1>Cone has dark he is licking lips at chicken. That

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<v Speaker 1>that's a fun one. Or Lincoln means listening niggas because

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<v Speaker 1>oh Fay loves nooses. That's I had so much fun

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<v Speaker 1>writing these. Billick means uh, bitch you is couchie game?

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<v Speaker 1>That one. That one's not racist, but it means the

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<v Speaker 1>most of me. That was my favorite and I will

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<v Speaker 1>be submitting it to the fine folks at Bilwick if

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<v Speaker 1>they're still in business. I truly have no idea of

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<v Speaker 1>Bilick still in business. They also make pretty shitty cars. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>If you or or your friends would like to send

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<v Speaker 1>me racist acronyms from your childhood, then then please send

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<v Speaker 1>them to my mama pot at gmail dot com. I

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<v Speaker 1>would love to hear from you and and as always,

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<v Speaker 1>subscribe to the podcast, review the podcast, write me letters

0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:48.800
<v Speaker 1>where you can plain about my nonsense. Truly, it all

0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:50.760
<v Speaker 1>means the world to me, and I love to hear

0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.040
<v Speaker 1>from you. And if you don't do it, I'm murdered

0:13:53.080 --> 0:13:56.360
<v Speaker 1>your entire family. How about that if if you don't,

0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:00.760
<v Speaker 1>if you don't write a review, I I look, I

0:14:00.960 --> 0:14:03.760
<v Speaker 1>threatened to beat your knees before, and he clearly didn't

0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:06.480
<v Speaker 1>work for some of you. So now I'm just gonna

0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.600
<v Speaker 1>go straight at it. I'll murder your entire family. I'm

0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:11.840
<v Speaker 1>not even sure if I'm legally allowed to say that

0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:14.120
<v Speaker 1>on the podcast. We may have to edit it out.

0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:16.560
<v Speaker 1>But if we don't have to edit it out, just

0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:20.520
<v Speaker 1>know I'll kill everyone you love. Okay, I'll miss you

0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:27.880
<v Speaker 1>and I'll talk to you soon. Bye, bitch. Motherfucking many years,

0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:41.240
<v Speaker 1>so many years motherfucking many years, so, motherfucking many years, so,

0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:44.000
<v Speaker 1>motherfucking many years so