WEBVTT - No More Sugar Coating 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:04.560 Hell, Hi Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:10.080 and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everyone, thank you so 0:00:10.160 --> 0:00:13.160 much for joining us on another episode of Help I 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:16.400 Suck At Dating and Boy oh boy, do we have 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:18.919 a special episode for you Today. We're gonna be talking 0:00:18.960 --> 0:00:21.840 with Brendan Watt, the author of Relationship. Are you sure 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:25.920 you want one? We're gonna be talking with Brett Colo Magic. 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:30.240 I'm gonna I'm sorry, miss pronounce, who has invented an 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:32.760 app that will help you break out of the rut 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:35.599 of the boring, monotonous dates that you go on. We're 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:38.560 gonna talk. I guess what's going on in our lives. 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:42.320 But this past weekend was Mother's Day. Um and Jared, 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:43.760 I know you have a mother. Vanessa, I know you 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:45.639 have a mother. So how was your guys weekend? What'd 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:48.080 you do to celebrate? I called my mother, I said 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:50.360 Happy Mother's Day. We talked for quite a while. She 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:52.839 had to work, but she lives in Rhode Island. I'm 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:55.600 in California. I should have sent her flowers or chocolate 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:59.240 through the mail. I really did not plan that properly. 0:00:59.600 --> 0:01:02.240 I'm a add son. Thank God you're not my son, 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:05.039 because I would I called. We talked for a while. 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:06.880 You know, it was a great I mean I talked 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:08.160 to her on the phone almost every day, so I 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:11.080 guess that's really not any different. Talk to your mom 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:14.880 phone every day, not every day, probably every other so sweet, 0:01:14.920 --> 0:01:17.400 it's like a lot. No, I talked to my mom 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:20.040 every either every second day or every day, and my 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:23.479 sister every day. Yeah. It's also it's different because I'm 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:27.800 accustomed to seeing them every few days and now I 0:01:27.840 --> 0:01:31.640 don't see them for months at a time. And A no, 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:35.520 we don't FaceTime we I should FaceTime my actually facetimes 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:38.160 her parents. Yeah, I know he was a three times 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:39.399 a day. I know this is a really messed up 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:41.600 thing to ask, But do you guys ever think about 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:42.880 what your life is going to be like after you 0:01:42.920 --> 0:01:45.319 don't have them there anymore? Yeah? It scares out of me. Yeah. 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:47.680 I used to have nightmares when I was a kid, 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:49.640 like I didn't want anyone dying around me. I don't 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:54.760 want to die. Um, And I only lost one grandparents. 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:58.120 I still have three other grandparents with me. And it's yeah, 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:01.040 but it's devastating because, like you know, like people get old, 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:02.920 or even if they don't get old people get sick, 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:05.120 and it's just it's hard. It's it's a hard concept 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:07.720 to grasp. I mean, the thing is like, you guys 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:09.280 are gonna have to deal with your parents deaths at 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.240 some point, you know, No, I know, it's it scares me. 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:15.240 It honestly is one of the reasons why I want 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:19.440 to move back home, because, you know my parents. My 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:22.160 dad's in his sixties, my mom's in her late fifties, 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:25.600 and you start, you know, you just hear scary things 0:02:25.639 --> 0:02:28.840 like I know that, uh, you know, Ben's dad, this 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:31.280 is public knowledge kind of went through a little bit 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:32.799 of health crisis a couple of years ago when Ben 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:35.600 was the Bachelor, and uh, it's just scary, you know, 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:38.160 because it just happened so quickly, and I just, oh, 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:40.800 I think about that constantly about my life after my parents. 0:02:40.880 --> 0:02:43.760 It's it's probably my biggest fear is losing them. And 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:46.520 he doesn't send his mom flowers. I talked to my 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:48.760 mom every other day. I should have said through flowers, 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:50.920 I'm a Jericho. It's hard through the mail, and I was. 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:54.480 It was. No, I'm not justifying, I'm justifying of that 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:59.680 I'm a bad son. She knows you love her. No, yeah, 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:02.880 and and you do something special on another day and 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:05.000 it makes it more special because she's not going to 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:09.000 expect it. No, exactly right. Every day is so, so, Vanessa, 0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:10.720 what did you do for Mother's Day this past weekends? 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:19.359 So I was a really good daughter and I decided, no, actually, 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:21.800 I want to do something non traditional because I get 0:03:21.840 --> 0:03:24.560 together with my family every Sunday, so it's, you know, 0:03:24.600 --> 0:03:26.519 always the same song and dance you said around my 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:28.200 gam at this table. We have lunch and then we leave, 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:30.360 and I'm like, well, I want to do something where 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:34.840 they can gain from uh an experience, and so I 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:37.440 brought in a woman who curates this two hour session. 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:40.000 We started the day off with the meditation session, and 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:43.200 then she led us into creating our own vision boards, 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:46.120 which is basically thinking about things that you want to 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:48.960 do for your future and envisioning this, you know, whether 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:51.120 it is something you want to change in your work, 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:55.720 love life, um uh, you know, with your health or whatever. 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.480 So we all sat around and we're open about things 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:02.120 that we wanted to change, and um we did this 0:04:02.200 --> 0:04:04.560 really really beautiful exercise that I want to do with 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:06.000 you guys too when I'm back in l A we 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:10.720 wrote ourselves a letter, and a year from now, this 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:13.640 woman is going to mail us this letter, and hopefully 0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:15.520 all the things that I wrote down in this letter 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:18.240 to myself I will have accomplished in the in this 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:20.960 next year. You remember what you are you willing to 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:22.200 share any of it with us? Or is it something 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:27.400 It's nothing that big? But I think you know, I'm 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:29.200 pretty much an open book, and I just want to 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.360 keep this to myself. Surely that's fine, that's fair. Keep 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:36.920 things some personal. Let me are they achieving? Like, are 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:39.600 they very achievable? Or are they things that you would 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:42.440 be very very proud of yourself if in a year 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:46.080 you accomplished this. So it sounds so silly. One thing 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:48.279 that I'm like super happy about. I don't know, Jared, 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:50.200 if it's like you moving to l A was something 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:52.279 that you've always wanted to do and that move is 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:56.320 like the biggest, a really big accomplishment for me. No, Okay, 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:59.359 well I don't know for me. Well, like for me, 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:02.120 coming back to Montreal and living in the Old Port 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:03.839 was something that I never thought I was ever going 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:05.200 to be able to do. And the fact that I 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:07.480 live in my favorite part of the city is something 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:09.479 I'm really proud of. And so it's just like little 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:12.480 things like that that we wake up and we take 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:16.279 for granted. So it's really things that are I know 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:18.039 I'm gonna be able to accomplish, but I feel like 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:19.920 the things are the easiest we kind of let go 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:21.960 of and we don't focus on those things. So I'm 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.600 trying to hold myself accountable to some of the smaller 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:26.200 things that I want to accomplished. When totally when you 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:27.600 say we don't focus on them, you're saying like we 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:29.479 don't give ourselves enough credit for the small things that 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:32.360 we're doing for ourselves. Is that what you mean? Yeah, yeah, exactly, 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:37.159 A little like those little, you know, moments of victory 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:41.120 we feel that put things into perspective. Yeah, you know, 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:43.000 you get that all the time. Like I, for example, 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:46.240 I take my health for granted times knock on wood 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:48.640 and you know, you you see people that are going 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:50.839 through very difficult times with their health right now, and 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:54.200 then you realize how lucky you are just to have that. 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:57.680 Um but health, it is a big one. Oh, totally right. 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:01.400 You know. Uh, but when you said writing a letter, 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:04.280 it reminded me off. It's so stupid, But Uh, Dane 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:07.000 Cook wrote himself a letter when he was a kid. Uh. 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.520 It was this show called tour Gasm where he him 0:06:09.520 --> 0:06:12.159 in like three other comedians went on tour and they're 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:14.280 all filmed it for thirty days. And he wrote a 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:16.080 letter to himself as a kid when he was in 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:19.880 high school about thirty year old Dane you know what 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:21.960 he wanted to be when he wanted to accomplish. And 0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:24.760 he read it on the show live and it was 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:28.040 very inspiring and emotional because he just talked about how 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:30.520 he hopes that he's happy and he believes himself and 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:32.320 he knows he's capable of great things. And this was 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:33.920 when Dane Cook was at his height, and now he's 0:06:33.960 --> 0:06:36.560 gating a nineten year old model. I would say he's 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:39.640 still at his height. I will I will say I 0:06:39.640 --> 0:06:42.840 have a good friend who strongly believes in the vision 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:44.320 board thing, and she does it once a year, and 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:46.600 she's strongly encouraged me to do the vision board. He 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:48.240 should and whenever she says and I'm like, yeah, it 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:49.400 sounds like a great at you. But I just never 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:51.760 put it into practice and I could see how it 0:06:51.760 --> 0:06:54.640 could be a positive exercise. So that's cool that you 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:56.440 did that, because that's basically what you You flipped through 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.400 like a lot of magazines, you see things that you like, 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:00.320 and then you just kind of plaster on the board 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:01.840 and then hopefully you can kind of will let into 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:04.160 existence at some point or yeah, it could be just 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:07.560 like I I like, I cut out a picture of Tupperwars. 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:10.120 My sisters like tupperwares, and I'm like, well, for me, 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:12.920 when I see tup wears, I see like organization in 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:14.720 the kitchen, you know, Like I want to be able 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.480 to to create my own meals throughout the day. And 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:18.920 I'll like, think of what am I cooking at six 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:20.960 o'clock and I'm starving and I have to order something 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:23.240 or find something to eat right now. Like I want 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:24.920 to be able to be more organized when it when 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:26.840 it comes to my cooking, Like just little things like 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:28.680 that that I know would make my day a thousand 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:33.040 times better, because yeah, I think there's a difference between 0:07:33.120 --> 0:07:37.239 people who um like there's like a fine line between 0:07:37.280 --> 0:07:39.360 people who are successful and others who aren't. And it's 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:41.280 just a it's a matter of being perseverance and a 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:44.600 matter of really dedicating yourself to what you believe in 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:46.760 you could achieve, because we all could achieve all these 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:48.800 little things and big things, but it's just a matter 0:07:48.800 --> 0:07:51.200 of following through with them totally. You hear stories about 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:54.320 I hear stories all about musicians and actors and all 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:57.000 these people that are super successful today where they twenty 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:59.280 years ago it came to a point where either this 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:01.680 was gonna work out for them or they were going 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:04.840 to die, you know, Like there was I was listening 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:06.800 to interview with a very famous musician. He was talking 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:09.760 about how he is a very fine line between him 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:12.520 doing what he's doing right now, which is writing songs 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:15.000 and putting them out there and being very successful, and 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:16.960 the other side of that line, which is him sleeping 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.200 at his buddy's couch because he can't afford rent. And 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:21.960 like he just got to that point because he realized 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:24.520 that there was no other way. You know, it was 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:26.880 either I'm gonna do this or I'm gonna die trying 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.360 and persistance like that is very scary and a lot 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:31.680 of people and I would lose myself in this statement, 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:34.960 play it safe and you don't always get what you 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:36.880 want me to do that, but it's a little bit 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:38.640 more reassuring. I don't know, but I like the idea 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:40.360 of the board because I like the idea of manifesting 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:42.400 your dreams and putting them out because the only way 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:43.880 that will ever happen is if you do put it 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:45.640 out in the universe and try to work towards it. 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:50.360 So yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't really subscribe to the 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:53.400 idea of holidays, but all holidays for the most part, yeah, 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:55.320 I think they're all kind of be yes, honestly, what 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.400 about I think Christmas might be the worst of all 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:01.680 of them, to be honest worst and Thanksgiving, uh well, yeah, 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:04.679 I guess to celebrate the genocide of an indigenous culture. 0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:08.560 I guess right. That's that's pretty messed up. What are 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:12.640 what are holidays? It's basically obviously have your Hallmark holidays, 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:14.839 right like Valentine's Day, Halloween, those types of things where 0:09:14.840 --> 0:09:16.800 it's like literally all they did was create this holiday 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:19.720 so they could either a sell us stuff, give us 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:23.560 something to take our our freaking Roman signmaic another out on, 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:26.400 or you have like religious holidays. And I'm not gonna 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:29.120 get into and start bashing religion and religious holidays, but 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:34.560 a lot of this stuff, a lot of this stuff 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:39.120 is it's just if you, if you really like bring 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:41.920 it back to the origins of it all. It's almost 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:44.959 like it's the same concept of the Hallmark holidays, where 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:49.720 we're just making things up. It's very commercialized. But my 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:52.160 question is us are higher buddies Mark? What's wrong with 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:54.040 making things up? Why not make things up where we 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:55.840 could all put on costumes and go get candy. We 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:58.040 can all profess our love for each other on February fourteens? 0:09:58.040 --> 0:09:59.880 What's wrong with making those things up? I get it. 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:03.080 But when you have holidays like Mother's Day where they're like, Okay, 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:07.000 we're gonna one day a year to specifically celebrate Mother's 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:09.520 That's fine, that's great that mothers can feel special and 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:12.040 valued on this day. But also it's like us there 0:10:12.040 --> 0:10:14.000 other three sixt or four days to do that, things 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:16.959 like why do you need um manufactured holiday to do that? 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:19.559 But I completely agree, and I have the same feeling 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:21.760 about Valentine's Day. It's like, why do you need Valentine's 0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:25.000 Day to do something special for your significant other? Um? 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:26.640 And that's kind of what really gets to me. It's like, 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:31.440 why do we need someone some I guess governing authority 0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:33.559 to tell us which days we should set aside to 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:35.560 show value in our appreciation of the people that are 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:37.160 in our lives. You know what I mean. Human beings 0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:39.000 need to kick in the ass. Sometimes it's just not 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:41.080 I'm not saying yeah, I'm not saying it's right. The 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:43.160 only one that I can really buy into our birthdays, 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:45.160 and even then, like time is a construct, but I 0:10:45.200 --> 0:10:50.000 understand seasons are we're getting deep. I think I think 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:52.280 it's a beautiful I totally agree with you. I never 0:10:52.320 --> 0:10:55.720 celebrated Valentine's Day. I don't believe in it. Um things 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:57.960 like Mother's Day, like, yes, I think it's a lot 0:10:58.000 --> 0:10:59.880 of mothers like look forward to a day of like 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.280 you know, surprises and being pampered. But I think, yes, 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:07.280 like you said, we should be celebrating parents and our 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:10.200 friends and every every day and maybe oh yes, sorry, 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:13.200 go ahead, like things like Christmas and stuff. I like 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:16.640 the idea and Thanksgiving. We don't like Canadians will celebrate 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:19.560 Thanksgiving as heavily as Americans do, But I love the 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:22.280 idea of just getting together right like it gives you 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:26.560 an excuse to really get together, to cook together, laugh 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:29.120 and just get out of your everyday life. And that's 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:30.760 gonna be my point to maybe the reason I'm so 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:35.080 jaded about holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, etcetera. Is because of 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:37.000 my broken family dynamic. It's like, I don't really I 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:39.400 don't have a family to get together for for holidays 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:41.000 since I don't have a mom to call her Mother's 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:43.760 Day like that, So it's just gonna be like these holidays. 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:46.000 Bleep that f word. By the way, mark I don't 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:48.360 have are keep that one in there, And I do 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:50.640 understand that that actually makes a lot of sense to me. 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:52.320 That makes a lot of sense. That's how I've just 0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:55.079 adopted this like me against the world approach where it's 0:11:55.080 --> 0:11:57.640 like holidays, screw that, who cares? I like July fourth, 0:11:57.679 --> 0:11:59.280 that one's always fun. You just get together with your 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:01.960 friends in the summer. It's America's birthday. So that's why 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.280 I'm right. I'm not the biggest patriot in the world either, 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:05.920 I would say, but it's it's just fun to come 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:08.240 together as a group of friends. I like them as 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:11.200 mile markers throughout the year. I just like it as 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:13.600 just kind of you know, as you're driving to Vegas 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:17.680 up there's the giant thermometer, there's the borders, but here's 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:21.680 I like that. There's Valentine's Quick the drive from Los 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:24.719 Angeles to Las Vegas. You're getting to Las Vegas, that's 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:27.840 your destination. So you're saying that these mile markers are 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:30.520 the mile markers to our death. Well, a part of 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:33.240 the journey is the end. And thought of it that way. 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:35.080 I was thinking more than the mile markers to the 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:37.080 end of the year, the year that ultimately leads what 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:38.240 to the end of the next year, to the end 0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:41.040 of the next year, which ultimately and at us dying 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:43.080 at the same time, Like you said, you just can't 0:12:43.080 --> 0:12:45.240 prevent that from happening. So we're all on this journey 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:47.040 of just trying to figure out what we want in 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:49.080 life and should try to make that make this the 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:51.000 most we possibly can, Right, But so why would do 0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:53.200 we need mile markers to tell us how much we're 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:56.080 enjoying life as we go through which is ultimately leading 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:58.319 up to our death, you know what I mean? And 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:01.160 I've actually thought about this before in like in like 0:13:01.280 --> 0:13:03.360 maybe a lighter sense where a lot of my friends 0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:05.920 in Los Angeles kind of get they feel like their 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:07.880 time is slipping away from them. And it's because, in 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:10.360 my opinion, there aren't quite as many mile markers here 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:14.040 because seasonally, like it's it's consistently warm. You go to Colorado, 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:16.920 Rhode Island, um, even um Wisconsin. You have these these 0:13:16.960 --> 0:13:19.760 seasons where it's like, Okay, in winter six months ago, 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:22.240 I was here, but now six months later in the summer, 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:24.680 I'm here, and so I can still. But now in 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:26.440 Los Angeles, like we don't have that. You know, you 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:29.640 lose track of time. Here it's eighty degrees basically, um, 0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:31.439 and so it's kind of like you look back six 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:32.800 months and you're like, oh, I'm in the same spot 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:35.000 I was six months ago. But in Wisconsin, rood in Colorado, 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:36.600 it's like, no, six months ago you were freezing your 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:39.719 ass off, and now you're here. I don't know that's 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:41.760 really smart next time. Yeah, But I also think the 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:44.200 mile markers that Mark was talking about is more to 0:13:44.320 --> 0:13:49.280 reminisce about pastimes rather than look forward to future older events. 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:53.439 Does that make sense no? Well, which for example I 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:55.960 guess yeah, yeah, Like for me personally, for Christmas, like 0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:58.080 I I love Christmas and New Year's Eve together, but 0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:00.480 I lump it in together because I like the idea 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:03.600 of a new year because to me, it's simple. It's 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:06.559 it's symbolic of kind of a fresh start, so to speak, 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:09.840 and also screwed up last year. It's not screwed up, 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:11.760 but it's just it's it is a mile marker because 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:13.920 I think I understand that death will be coming at 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:17.960 some point, and so it is nice to really think about, Wow. 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:21.960 You know, here's the thing. Growing older is not a privilege, 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:25.320 right that everybody has unfortunately, and so like we're lucky 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.800 enough to have the all of these experiences. And so 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:29.200 that's the way I kind of look at it that 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:32.720 I'm grateful, like, Wow, another year, Holy crap. I guess 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:34.080 my thing is I never know what I'm gonna get 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:35.560 to Las Vegas, you know what I mean. So it's 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:36.880 like I might as well enjoy it and not really 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:39.560 pay attention to the mile markers along the way. I 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:41.840 think the analogy for I have no idea what I'm 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:44.720 gonna because you're living in a van driving around America. 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:47.040 You have no idea when you're getting in Las Vekers literally, 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:50.120 so kind of work. But also, like you said, I'm 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:53.240 getting a gun again, a gun in a van? Who 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:57.440 wants to date me? Um? What was? But I also 0:14:57.560 --> 0:14:59.880 think with the mile markers like you speaked about with 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:05.200 Los Angeles Los Angelinos where they lose track of time 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:07.040 because there isn't that much mile markers. I think for 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.440 human beings, we like the idea of mile markers with 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:13.240 holidays because it does help us keep track of time 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:15.920 where it doesn't just slip by another year, like they 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.960 provide comfort to us. I understand we're creatures that that, 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:22.720 uh seek comfort at all times. Tony Robbins actually or no, 0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:24.960 what was it, Tony Robbins. Someone speaks a lot about 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:27.440 are you a Tony Romans guy? I like kind of am. 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:29.520 I don't subscribe to a lot of his like be 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:31.640 your best self that type of stuff, but he's some 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:34.560 good points. Yeah, no, I agree, Um, I take what 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:36.520 he says with a grain of salt, but I still listen. 0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:38.320 But where he were were as a species we just 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:40.600 seek comfort and everything that we do and am I 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:44.080 actually had this conversation just recently. Uh. I don't necessarily 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:45.880 like the idea of comfort because I feel like growth 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:48.280 doesn't happen as much it can happen of course in comfort. 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:50.800 But I think that when you're forcing yourself to be uncomfortable, 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:53.840 like living in a van, you experience more growth, at 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:56.160 least personally, right, Like, obviously we're all different points in 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:58.640 our lives. Um, it's just kind of it's it's how 0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:01.520 I've experienced it. I I agree, But I think there's 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:04.160 a gray area there. Oh, oh my god, the biggest 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:06.600 gray area right like it didn't. So you you like 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:13.400 putting yourself in in like experiences, yeah, absolutely, but yeah, 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:16.480 like walking on the side of well, I know I 0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:19.080 saw your story in China when you were walking on 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:21.040 the ledge of a mountain. I was walking on the 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:23.640 figurative ledge of a mountain. But Last Bachelor and Paradise 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:31.760 stated two girls, that's true, wild child, there's no stop 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.080 in me. So that's that's my Sorry to get us 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.360 at track there, that's my bad. No, that was a 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:39.320 very interesting conversation. It makes me question how much comfort 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:42.320 one needs in their own life to continue. I remember, 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:44.000 I remember Tony Robbins brought it back to this one 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:46.600 point that whenever you shower, you always shower in warm 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:49.320 water because we're creatures of comfort and we like being comfortable. 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:51.800 But when you start to shock your system and take 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:53.560 cold showers and all this kind of stuff. We saw 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:57.120 that in this documentary he jump in and how it 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:59.240 can be like rejuvenating and all. This guy has all 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:01.200 these like mental side of facts, all that kind of stuff. Yeah. 0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:02.840 I think he wakes up every morning and takes a 0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:05.440 cold shower. Yeah, and I can do sometimes. I used 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:07.840 to do that a lot more, but but it sucks, right, 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:09.159 Like you want to be warm in the shower. You 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:12.119 want to get out? Yeah. Yeah, when I shower once 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:13.560 a week, I want to make sure I'm getting that 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:17.520 hot water. Um wow, once a week. Huh, you just 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:21.000 get like three points in my buck. Um. Okay. We're 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.560 gonna have Brandon Watt on the phone next, but before that, 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:25.760 we're gonna take one quick break. Dean. Do you have 0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:28.960 a bed for your van yet? I do not? Well, 0:17:29.200 --> 0:17:32.320 have you considered sleep number? I have what I'm worried 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.760 I can't afford one? Oh well, guess what you can Really, 0:17:35.320 --> 0:17:39.520 what you can't afford is another restless night's sleep. That's 0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:41.959 what you can't afford, Dean. Okay, there's been there's never 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:44.200 been a better time to save on a proven quality 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:48.000 sleep Now. During the Memorial Day sale, a Queen three 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:51.959 sixty smart bed starts at only nine hundred and ninety 0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:54.639 nine dollars. That's a great price. That might be more 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:56.880 expensive than your van. But let's move on from that. 0:17:57.119 --> 0:17:59.600 So many couples disagree on mattress firmness. I know Ashley 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:01.520 and I both. She likes it a little bit softer. 0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:03.560 I like it a little bit firmer. But Sleep Number 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:06.200